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littlebastardreviews posted the collected facts from the 2014 UK Editions of Harry Potter: and this fact caught my eye.
'Only one non-magical person has ever managed to get as far as the Hogwarts Sorting Hat before being exposed as a Squib.'
But, gosh it just makes me want a story where a squib did make it through. So here's a drabble about a squib with a quick mind and a hand-me-down wand, who refuses to be denied her birthright.
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when the hat drops over her eyes it asks, 'well what do we have here?'
she’s got a forged hogwarts letter with penmanship that’s perfect down to the ink splatter;
she’s got a complicated string of owls, only half of them forged, from parents to administration to ministry that’s so complicated her name ended up on the first year roll call anyway.
she’s got ten arguments, four pleas, and one smothered threat on the tip of her mental tongue for why the house that comes out of this hat’s brim better not be 'squib'
she’s got a lighter up her sleeve and an eight and a half inch wand in her belt that will never, ever work for her.
'well,' says the hat, 'better be slytherin then'
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 841
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 265
- Kudos:
- 11,071
- Bookmarks:
- 2,285
- Hits:
- 68,403
Bookmarked by dragonli
27 Jan 2026
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"Her name is...Hermione," Lucius pronounces the name very carefully, watching Voldemort as if for some reaction. He has none to offer. "She's in my son's year. And she claims to be your daughter."
Crack!AU where Lord Voldemort thinks Hermione Granger is his daughter.
Series
- Part 2 of and several bad jokes later
- Part 2 of all plates are cracked by mr nobody
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,757
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 31
- Comments:
- 764
- Kudos:
- 12,788
- Bookmarks:
- 3,459
- Hits:
- 142,228
Bookmarked by dragonli
27 Jan 2026
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Being a beta has always meant safety for Shane Hollander. No expectations, no instincts, no distractions from hockey.
Unfortunately, he meets Ilya Rozanov.
Series
- Part 1 of alpha/beta hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,314
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 217
- Kudos:
- 8,038
- Bookmarks:
- 1,534
- Hits:
- 67,742
Bookmarked by dragonli
02 Jan 2026
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Draco Malfoy is not an owl, really he isn’t. He simply assumes the shape of one on occasion when he wants to find a bit of privacy—a goal entirely thwarted because Harry Potter doesn’t understand you can’t just grab any old bird from the Owlery and force it to send your missives and deliver your packages.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,820
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 391
- Kudos:
- 6,467
- Bookmarks:
- 1,543
- Hits:
- 113,342
Bookmarked by dragonli
28 Dec 2025
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The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by hiimcibee for Im_a_bird
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Jul 2020
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Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!
So Draco decides to boldly go where no one has gone before: to put himself through scrutiny; their friends’ teasing and pranks; unsound romantic advice from a house-elf; wearing pretty clothes; all to try and win Potter’s heart through courtship.
(An unnamed ginger bastard can be heard yelling from afar: “This is actually a detailed guide on how not to court someone!”)
But who cares about the opinions of redheads? Literally no one.
