notchoco



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is this ‘ball and chain’?” Ilya frowned.

    Ilya's teammate grinned. “Wife. Girlfriend. Nagging you. Controlling. No fun allowed.”

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    13 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is grailed dot com?” Shane reads out loud from the computer screen.

    “How have you spent almost fifty grand on it in the last year?”

    Ilya doesn’t reply.

    “Is it a-” it’s like Ilya can hear the gears turning in Shane’s head, “Is it a porn website?”

    Ilya laughs lightly, endeared by Shane's choice of words, “As if you would know.”

    “Fuck you, I’ve watched porn.”

    Ilya turns to face him, a look of pleased incredulity painted on his features. He watches as Shane processes what he just said and then shakes his head as if to rid himself of the trance. Shane both hates and loves these moments when Ilya gets him to say ludicrous things in his own defense. As if he even needs to defend himself.

    Shane and Ilya talk about personal finance, porn and they are in love.

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    12 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya has learned that love gives you time, but it cannot make forever out of two weeks.

    He worries at his bottom lip, feeling the first seeds of dread as he leans against Shane’s bureau. He’s dressed, his bag is zipped, and it’s still dark outside. Shane sleeps, adorably, half on his stomach with his face nearly off the pillow. He didn’t need to get up as early as Ilya. You don’t need to get up as early just to drive someone to the airport.

    It’s 3 am. Ilya’s flight is at 7:30 and they still need to make the two-hour drive.

    OR

    They had two weeks, and those two weeks are finished. Shane drives Ilya from the cottage to the airport.

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    12 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I want you to use me.”

    Ilya pauses, hot dog halfway to his mouth, his eyebrows scrunching up and holding, even as he finishes taking a bite. The confusion sits there the entire time he’s chewing, looking at Shane expectantly. When Shane doesn’t say anything else, he swallows down his mouthful with a swig of beer and smacks his lips obnoxiously.

    “Use for what?”

    “Sex,” Shane says. He keeps his volume level, resists the urge to drop into a whisper. It feels so wrong to say this sort of stuff with the sunlight on his back. “I want you to use me for sex.”

    “I do not do this already?”

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    12 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Maybe if the video ended there, Shane thought, it would be okay. Okayish. Still incriminating. Still a fucking disaster. Still embarrassing, to have his breakup with this beautiful actress filmed and disseminated on Reddit of all fucking places, but not a nail in his coffin, burying him alive. But the video didn’t end there.

    “Can I ask if you’ve ever been with another guy?” she had to ask.

    And he, tears visible in his eyes, had to nod.

    Just once. Just a single nod.

    Why did he have to nod?

    “Have you ever told anyone that before?” He shook his head. “Was it different? With a guy?”

    “Of course.”

    Of course.

    “Was it better?”

    “Yes.”

    +++

    Shane’s conversation with Rose is secretly recorded. Months later, after the All-Star game and Ilya’s confession in Russian, the video gets leaked online. Shane is outed to the world while Ilya is in Russia, and must now finish the 2016-2017 season with the entire world in on his secret.

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    11 Feb 2026