oh_its_spring



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    826
    Kudos:
    22,744
    Bookmarks:
    4,839
    Hits:
    106,342

    12 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane stared, horrified. “Stop making jokes! This is not funny! They think—they think I HAVE BOTTOM EYES!”

    Ilya sat up, eyes gleaming. “They are correct.”

    “Ilya.”

    “Mmm. What is it they said? Best bottom eyes? I agree.”

    Shane wanted the floor to open up. “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?”

    “It means when you look up at me with pupils blown and lips swollen, is impossible not to fuck you stupid.”

    A betting pool starts in the locker room about who in the league is the 'wildest' in bed. To everyone's shock, league Golden Boy Shane Hollander wins by a landslide. Shane is mortified. Ilya is profoundly smug. Naturally, Ilya decides the best course of action is to make it a challenge. “You gotta prove them right, malysh. Can’t leave them disappointed, can we?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,087
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    4,188
    Bookmarks:
    906
    Hits:
    54,304

    27 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After two years of noncommittal sex:

    Remus tells Sirius that he loves him. Sirius firmly rejects him. Remus tries to move on. Sirius is not happy.

    OR

    Remus Lupin becomes king of the cockroaches, Fabian Prewett writes a book, Gilderoy Lockhart is a catfish, and Sirius Black realizes he's a fucking idiot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,766
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    1,261
    Kudos:
    17,932
    Bookmarks:
    4,846
    Hits:
    321,981

    29 Nov 2025

  4. Public Bookmark 86

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    Summary

    In June of 1976, Sirius tells Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow. James saves Snape's life, but no one can save Remus -- or Sirius -- from all of the consequences.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,753
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    5,765

    03 Apr 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Remus is invited to a Masquerade Ball at the Castle. The problem: he's just a farmer. He doesn't expect to fall in love at the ball, or even see the Alpha again, after that night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    946
    Bookmarks:
    123
    Hits:
    12,275

    05 Nov 2024