patheticfallacy



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    "You have to come to the locker room. Now."

    Shane frowns. Holds up his notebook. "I'm busy."

    "Forget that, man. It's all over the news. Ilya Rozanov has just defected from the Soviet Union."

    Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey au

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    “Y-you want me to be a girl?”

    Ilya rubbed the base of one of his thumbs with the other. Seeing Ilya’s shyness so plainly made Shane’s nose twitch.

    “No, not all the time,” Ilya said after a moment. “And not if you don’t want to. Never if you don’t want to. I just . . . I think about it, sometimes.”

    ***

    Ilya loves his life and his husband. But lately, he's found himself missing girls. Luckily, Shane is happy to indulge this fantasy.

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    24 Feb 2026

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    Shane stares at the fabric in his hands and takes a deep breath. He’ll never hear the fucking end of it if he wears this thing out. He’ll never hear the end of it if he doesn’t.
    Lose-lose, really.
    A whoop sounds out behind him as Shane slips the jersey over his head. It sits awkwardly, though he can’t tell if that’s because the material is brand new or because his body won’t relax. It’s hot, as if the fabric lettering on the back is branding his skin. As if he’ll take off the jersey and be marked for life:
    ROZANOV. 81.

    Shane wears Ilya's jersey out in public. Ilya has very strong feelings about it.

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    23 Feb 2026

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    “It’s not that I just—I don’t know how. I’m not like… attracted to them. I don’t know what to do,” Shane admits. His cheeks warm right on their peaks. Ilya laughs again, loud and barking. “We had sex twice. And I’m not sure either of us… you know… came either time.”

    “I could teach you.”

    “What?”

    “I said–” Ilya leans up from his spot on the couch, nearly crawling atop Shane. He grins down at Shane. “I could teach you how to make a girl cum.”

    Ilya gets Shane off like he's a girl.

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    22 Feb 2026

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    Everybody else on earth was born with a manual on How to Be. A sort of silver spoon already tucked into their mouth.

    Shane wishes he had gotten one.

    After an exhausting day of masking and overstimulation, Shane has a panic attack. He loses the ability to speak. Thankfully, Ilya is there to help him through.

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    22 Feb 2026