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   it's worse to be nothing by destielpasta

   Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

   • Teen And Up Audiences
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   11 Jan 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
   • Ilya Rozanov
   • Shane Hollander
   • Original Characters
   • Episode: s01e05 I'll Believe in Anything (Heated Rivalry)
   • Missing Scene
   • Texting
   • Character Study
   • Ilya Rozanov Character Study
   • Complicated feelings about homeland
   • Suicide mention
   • Developing Relationship
   • Feelings Realization
   • Ilya opened the floodgates with that call in Russian they're never going to have a lapse in communication again
   • Mother-Son Relationship

   Summary

   How are you feeling today?

   Ilya stares at Shane’s text, biting his lip.

   You are asking too many questions again, Hollander, he types. His thumb hovers over the send button. Instead he deletes it, switching briefly to the Cryllic keyboard to type out: I feel like I was hit by a speed train, but instead of killing me it punched a hole through my heart, making more room for you.

   Fuck, that’s insane.
    

   OR

    

   Ilya eats pelmeni and texts Shane a lot while still in Russia. Takes place the day after the tunnel phone call in episode 5.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   4,042

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   50

   Kudos:

   650

   Bookmarks:

   124

   Hits:

   3,099

   Bookmarked by peccope

   11 Jan 2026