perksofbeingawallflower



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    Lily: Well. There is very interesting studies I have read recently.

    Karolina: We’re listening!

    Lily: Research shows that abstinence can significantly improve athletic performance. Testosterone levels, energy conservation, mental focus. All better with sexual abstinence.

    Jackie: Wait, seriously?

    Lily: Oh yes, very serious research. Professional athletes should abstain completely during playoff runs. Some studies suggest 6-8 weeks for optimal results.

    Satu: SIX TO EIGHT WEEKS?!

    When “Lily” gets added to the Montreal Voyageurs WAGs group chat, she comes armed with peer-reviewed research, vibrators for everyone, and one revolutionary idea: a playoff sex ban for optimal athletic performance. The WAGs are convinced it’s evidence-backed science, the team is suffering, and Ilya is having the time of his life watching his handiwork unfold.

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    02 Feb 2026

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    01 Feb 2026

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    Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.

    Or being out didn’t make him nicer. Being married didn’t make him softer. Being older didn’t make him weaker. And being a father? Well. That’t when things get complicated.

    (He’s really good at that last part. Don’t tell anyone.)

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    28 Jan 2026

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    “Yuna, David - my husband just said he doesn’t love me anymore.”

    “I did not say that,” Shane argues, when he notes the disbelieving expressions on his parents’ faces. “I said we can’t get another dog.”

    “Exactly,” Ilya wails, throwing his arms up in the air. “Is same thing!”

     

    (Or, 5 times Ilya calls Shane his husband, and 1 time Shane calls Ilya his husband.)

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    15 Jan 2026

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    15 Jan 2026