spunchbab
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Summary
Bored, the Master of Death, Harry Potter, decides to abduct his infant self on the fateful night of his parents' demise. What follows can only be described as utterly absurd.
Or; when Harry journeys back in time to escape his morbidly boring life, Tom hilariously deduces that he and Harry are wedded, and even believes “Evan” to be their offspring. Amused, Harry chooses not to rectify Tom's misconception.
{edit: fic renamed 18.06.25}
{edit: fic renamed again 19.09.25 because author is indecisive.}Series
- Part 2 of haunting riddle
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Summary
Tom Riddle, just fresh out of his presentation as an Alpha, runs into his perfect mate during an ordinary outing to Hogsmeade. Anyone would be honored to have such a brilliant and ambitious Alpha: future Dark Lord, Heir of Slytherin, and Head Boy!
Too bad Harry Potter, twenty-seven, is not impressed with a barely legal brat who keeps trying to come onto him with badly suppressed pheromones and posturing of all things.
it’s a comedy of (sexual) errors and bad judgment, really
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Voldemort had been vanquished by a mere infant. Stripped of his body, he spent nearly a decade clinging to life by inhabiting the bodies of snakes and other creatures, waiting—hoping—for his followers to find him.
Then, one day, he drifted back into Muggle London, drawn by whispers of the boy who had destroyed him. He hadn’t meant to return, not yet. But curiosity, or perhaps something deeper, pulled him there.
And that’s when he saw him.
A scrawny boy with messy dark hair, cornered by a group of jeering children. No protection. Just a child, small and alone.
Voldemort watched from the shadows, and for reasons he couldn’t quite name, he didn’t like what he saw.
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“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!”
“Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now”.
And Lily Potter stepped aside.
Voldemort stared at her.
“... Is this some sort of trick?” he asked softly.
“No". Her voice was flat, lifeless. “You already killed James... If you let me live, then you can have Harry”.
Voldemort’s lip curled - not in amusement, but disgust. His own mother had died for him. Pathetic, yes, sentimental and foolish - but she had chosen to die so that he could live. Lily Potter wasn’t even choosing to care. Surely the child of prophecy deserved a better mother than this! Even he could give the boy to a better family to be raised right!
Voldemort slowly reached down and picked up the child.
He was still staring at him. He was still oddly silent. His eyes were still the colour of the Killing curse and brimming with power.
Yes, Voldemort decided, that was exactly what he’d do.
"You belong to me now" he whispered.
And with a crack like thunder, he turned on the spot, vanishing into the night.Or, the one where Harry Potter is raised by the Lestranges and it goes more or less how you would expect.
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Summary
During the raid of the ministry, the confrontation between Harry and Voldemort is altered by their secondary gender dynamics. Instead of attempting to kill Harry, the dark lord goes off-script and makes a life-altering decision to spare Harry from death, but to take something else from him instead.
It takes Voldemort a while to realise he's in way over his head and has made a mistake while Harry delights in being a feral chaos gremlin who thrives on mayhem.