zillie
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Sasuke picks up the foil wrappers, blinks a few times as he takes in the bold writing across them. “Safe Shinobi Condoms. Warming Edition.”
Naruto makes some sort of squawking sound from behind his hands. “Please shut up.”
“Hidden Leaf Lubricant,” Sasuke continues, looking at the small tube next and reading the packaging, “The Best Kept Secret in Konoha.”
“I want to die.”
How to Lose Your Virginity to the Future Hokage: A Guide by Sasuke Uchiha.
Bookmarked by zillie
21 Apr 2026
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Hashirama saved him, texting: Talk to me. What are you looking for on here?
Madara: Does my bio not say looking for a good time?
Hashirama: You’re an intense one, I see. Not surprised.
Madara frowned, two seconds away from blocking. Fuck this.
Hashirama: What does a good time entail for you? I’m down for anything. I can take you out to a nice dinner and get to know you, or I can take you back to my place and fuck you. Your call.
Bookmarked by zillie
17 Apr 2026
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But Sasuke stopped lying to himself a long time ago, when Naruto uppercut the shit out of him and softly insisted for the millionth time that they were friends with a claim on each other’s pain, despite the missing arms, especially with the missing arms.
The arrangement was nice because of Naruto. He came back to Konoha each time for Naruto and Naruto alone.
Then Naruto went and got a girlfriend.
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Bookmarked by zillie
17 Apr 2026
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"You’re my baby.” Naruto gave him a shit-eating grin, then pinched Sasuke's cheeks.
Sasuke batted his hand away with a scoff, “Die.”
[or: a relationship is sometimes just two affection-starved boys in love]
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Bookmarked by zillie
16 Apr 2026
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I’m Not Interested in Poker (But I’m Betting on You) by slushyluvrr
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
06 Feb 2026
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Ah.
So that was it. Naruto was hitting on him. The word pretty echoed back in his mind as Sasuke dragged on the cigarette.
He wasn’t gay, so he’d have to let him down easy. The poor guy was all nerves. Sasuke couldn’t bear to hurt him. Maybe the alcohol had made him too soft, but Naruto had saved him with nicotine.
Bookmarked by zillie
15 Apr 2026