Chapter Text
1 June 2017
Group message: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson, Molly Hooper, Mycroft Holmes
SH: Where is my skull
GL: Inside your head, hopefully?
JW: He's talking about the one keeps on the mantel
JW: Did this really require a group text?
MoH: Ooh, I love grouptexts!
MH: Please remove me from this thread.
MrsH: Who is texting me? Who are all of you?
SH: Where is my skull
MrsH: Sherlock? Is that you?
JW: Sherlock, why would anybody take your skull?
JW: Mrs. Hudson, it's a group text
JW: Don't worry about it, I'll come down and add everyone to your address book
SH: One day ago my skull was in its normal location. Now it is gone. You have all been to 221B in the previous 24 hours. Conclusion: one of you has it.
MoH: It's not me. I try to stay away from body parts when not at work. Ha ha
MH: Please remove me from this thread.
GL: Why d'you think one of us has taken it?
JW: Because he's mad
MrsH: I'll come help you look for it if you'd like
MrsH: I'm good at that. Last week I found a pair of your pants under the sofa, remember?
SH: That was not necessary to share with the entire group, Mrs. Hudson.
GL: I disagree, mate
GL: Find anything else at Baker Street recently Mrs. H?
SH: Do not answer him.
JW: You've no one to blame but yourself, Sherlock
MrsH: I'm not their housekeeper!
MoH: Why were you pants under the sofa?
MoH: Nevermind, I'd actually rather not know
MH: Please remove me from this thread.
SH has changed name of grouptext to Where Is My Skull
2 June 2017
SH: I am serious about one you needing to return my skull.
GL: I'm serious about finding out why you were taking your pants off in the living room
JW: Rosie was helping me fold laundry and she stashed a few bits and pieces around
SH: "Helping" is a generous word.
SH: My sock index will likely never recover.
MoH: Your WHAT?
JW: Oh my god don't get him started
JW: His drawers are the work of someone with moderate to severe OCD
JW: And yet I'm not sure he's ever cleaned a dish in his life
SH: That's rich coming from someone who didn't notice I was using the toilet brush to grow mould cultures for almost a year.
MrsH: And it's not like the two of you even OWN a hoover
MrsH: They've been borrowing mine for ten years!
MH: Please remove me from this thread.
SH: We are getting off topic. The topic of this conversation is MY SKULL.
GL: What would any of us do with your skull? Normal people don't have any use for skulls
GL: Unless someone's performing Hamlet?
MrsH: I'm coming upstairs now, I'm sure we'll find it in no time
MrsH: Do you want any tea?
MrsH: Just this once
SH: Yes, thank you.
JW: Me as well, if the kettle's on, ta
SH: Update for all interested parties - skull found in Rosie's toy chest.
GL: Lovely. Really nailing that whole 'raising a normal kid' thing, well done both of you
JW: Thanks Greg, appreciate it