Chapter Text
Virgil and Patton stood on the porch looking out over the garden, worrying about what they were going to do. They had determined that they were not in the wrong, and therefore would certainly not be the first to speak. However, as soon as Logic and Roman came strolling by, Patton cracked.
“Logic!” The men stopped and looked up to see Patton, excitedly waving, and Virgil, rolling his eyes. “Logic, why did you pretend to have a brother? Was it so you could have an excuse to come see me as much as possible?” Patton batted his eyelashes, and Virgil almost puked.
“Could you possibly doubt it, Patton?” Came Logic’s reply, and Patton could’ve swooned just at that.
“Well, Virgil?” Roman asked expectantly. Virgil simply raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you wondering why I pretended to be Logic’s brother?” A disinterested shrug. “Well, dearest,” Roman continued nervously, “it was so I could have the opportunity of meeting you.”
At this, Patton squealed. “Oh, Virgil, can’t we forgive them?”
“What? No. In case you forgot, they lied to us about their names, and Roman lied about his title!”
“Would it change your mind if we said we’re getting our name and title changed?” Logic asked cautiously. Patton nodded, tears welling in his eyes as he ran to Logic and embraced him.
“So, Virgil, could you love me now that I am to be a prince?” Roman stepped towards Virgil, taking his hand, and before Virgil could reply, Pranks raced out of the house.
“There is… one Sir Thomas here to see you… sir,” they said, and they were hardly through introducing him when Thomas burst through the door.
“Patton! What are you doing?!”
“I’m engaged to Loga- uh, to Logic- well, actually…” Patton trailed off, trying to explain the complicated situation to his friend. “His name isn’t really Logan, it’s-”
“You were lying to us?” Thomas asked, staring daggers at Logic, who wanted nothing more than to sink into the dirt beneath his feet. Before Logic could respond to the accusation,
Thomas turned his attention onto Roman. “I’d assume that this is the house where your friend, Creativity lives?”
Logan was shocked to see a rare sight; Roman was at a loss for words.
“Well, Thomas, you see… no! It’s not. Creativity is somewhere else right now. In fact,” Roman said, regretting the words before they were even out of his mouth, “he’s dead.”
“When did he die?” Thomas asked, eyebrows raising.
“I killed him just this aftern- I mean,” Roman laughed nervously, “he died just this afternoon. Illness,” he said vaguely, hoping that was enough to convince Thomas to stop asking questions about the subject.
“And who is that boy who has yet to let go of your hand since I arrived?” Thomas asked, and suddenly Roman wanted to return to the topic of his dear, departed friend. Virgil snatched his hand out of Roman’s grasp, blushing furiously.
“That’s Virgil Cardew,” Logan explained. He glanced at Roman and Virgil’s equally anxious faces, and realized that a few strategic lies on his part could stop their ridiculous relationship in its tracks. But he saw the way Roman stood, almost protectively in front of Virgil, and the way Virgil seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when Roman stepped closer to him, and knew he couldn’t do it. “He’s from a very wealthy and respected family, Thomas. He’d be…” before he could finish his sentence, an idea began to form in his head. “He’d be a perfect man to marry Roman.”
The whole group seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
“That is, if you allow me to marry Patton.”
“What?!” Roman stepped forward.
“Thomas,” Logan explained, “I am held in high esteem by Virgil’s parents. And I could very easily convince them that marrying Roman would be the worst thing he could ever possibly do, even though I don’t truly believe that.” Before Virgil could interrupt with his very opinionated complaints, Logan continued. “However, if you stop pestering Patton and telling him not to marry me, I can tell them what I really believe, and the two of them can live their lives happily ever after.”
“Well, I can’t just-”
“Logan, you can’t do this!” Virgil interrupted Thomas. “Our happiness isn’t some… some bargaining chip you can use so that you can marry-”
Before Logan could explain himself, or Vigril could continue his ranting, a man who was quite older than the rest of them, but not yet elderly, entered the garden. He wore a bowler hat and a long coat, and held a cane in his right hand.
“Logan, Logic?” He called, earning glares and panicked glances from everyone standing in front of him. “I have paperwork for the both of you.”
“Not the time, Janus,” Logic groaned.
“Janus?” Thomas said slowly.
“Yes, Janus Prism. He’s the clerk here, he handles the paperwork,” Logic explained lazily.
Janus turned to Thomas, raising an eyebrow, but lost his usual confident demeanor as soon as the two made eye contact, because Thomas had affixed him with a horrified glare.
“I’m beginning to sense that these two know each other,” Roman said, disappointed to discover that the muffins and sandwiches that had been spread out on the table had all disappeared, and he had nothing to eat while enjoying whatever scene was about to play out in front of him.
“You were the babysitter for my family before I was born,” Thoms slowly began to explain, ignoring everyone around him except for Janus, who seemed to know immediately where this was going. “You were in charge of a baby, my older brother.” Each of Thomas’s words were dripping with something venomous and foul. “You left the house with him, in his stroller, and disappeared. A few days later, they found the stroller in a dark alleyway, and instead of a baby, there was just… some… book, some ridiculous draft of a book that didn’t even-” As Thomas began losing his grip, Patton ran to him to try and comfort him. “What did you do with the baby?!”
Janus sighed. “I don’t know.”
“You liar! How can you lose a baby?!” Thomas’s face was wet with tears now.
“I’m telling the truth,” Janus insisted, holding his right hand aloft as if he were swearing an oath in court. Somehow, the gesture seemed incredibly sincere. “All I know is that I had the baby, the stroller, a large black handbag, and a manuscript of a novel I’d been working on. Somehow, and I truly still do not forgive myself for this, I placed the manuscript in the stroller and the baby in the handbag,” he sighed.
“Where did you put the handbag?” Logic’s voice was soft but intense.
“I think it ended up in some train station,” Janus groaned, taking a seat.
“Which one?!” Everyone stared at Logic, who was inexplicably invested in Janus’s story. “Janus, I need to know.”
“I think it was Victoria. The Brighton line.”
Without another word, Logic took off running, leaving five very confused people in his wake. As Roman was about to attempt to break the uncomfortable silence, they heard crashing and banging from the upper level of the house.
“That’s uhm… very loud,” Thomas said. The noise stopped suddenly, and they all breathed a sigh of relief.
Until it started up again.
“This suspense is so exciting,” Patton squealed, before receiving a harsh look from the others.
Logic ran back in, face red, holding a weathered black handbag.
“Is this… the bag…?” He asked through labored breaths. Janus slowly stood and examined the bag.
“Yes,” he smiled softly. “There’s the stain on the lining from a tea I spilled… my initials engraved on the lock… thank you for this, Logic.”
Thomas turned to Logic, clearly having connected the puzzle pieces that nobody, save for Logic himself, had.
“You… you were the baby…” he said numbly. “You’re my brother.” Logic nodded, clearly in just as much shock as Thomas himself.
“Then he’s my cousin! Well, isn’t this exciting!” Roman exclaimed. Virgil gingerly put a hand on his shoulder, motioning to him that now was not the time for celebration.
“Well, then is your name not Logic?” Patton asked. “I’d started to get used to the name,” he sighed.
“Thomas? Do you know what my name was?”
“No, my- our parents never really talked about it.” Everyone sighed. “But,” he realized, “our family has a tradition, and every first-born son is named after his grandfather.”
“Sort of a patriarchal tradition,” Janus mumbled, and the others couldn’t disagree.
“What’s our grandfather’s name?” Logan asked, breathlessly. Thomas stared straight ahead, mind swimming. “Thomas?”
“It’s Logan.” Even Thomas didn’t quite seem to believe what he’d just said, and he repeated it, with a little more force. “Our grandfather’s name was Logan. So your real, entirely genuine name is Logan.”
“Oh thank god, I really didn’t like Logic that much,” Patton laughed.
“Patton, can you forgive me for lying about my true name?”
“Of course!”
Roman watched the two of them embrace, and then turned to Virgil with a sigh.
“I know your dream has always been to marry a prince-”
“What?”
“Well, you told me such! In the garden just a few hours ago!” Virgil started to laugh, and could barely keep himself up. Roman simply frowned.
“Roman, I was joking! You seriously thought I needed to marry a prince? That would be ridiculous!”
“But you were so upset-”
“Yeah, because you lied to me, dummy. Just don’t do any more of that and we should be good.”
“I think I can agree to your terms.”