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B O O M
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B O O M
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B O O M
Keith growled, his head whipping round to glare at the giant blue fish.
"Will you fucking stop?"
The shark looked at him, mischief swimming in his eyes.
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B O O M
Keith screamed.
"Well you look happy", Shiro chuckled, looking between his brother and the shark. They were in a crowded street in the middle of town, meeting up to get coffee. At the ripe age of 23 you'd think Keith would be used to the obnoxious shark by now, but that was not the case. "Why isn't he shrinking down? … or swimming?"
"To piss me off… and it's WORKING" the Korean shouted, glaring at the shark again.
"You know, I've never seen a shark smirk before!"
Keith rolled his eyes. "I swear, if my soulmate is anything like this stupid shark, I don't fucking want him!"
"Language" Shiro sighed, "and don't say that. He's your soulmate for a reason!"
"You don't have to deal with this! Your a keeper of mice!"
The larger man laughed as the mice in question squeaked, scuttling up his arm. "And I'm very lucky, but don't forget, your animal is a hippo! I highly doubt your soulmate is having it much easier."
Keith humphed, looking back at the shark. He hated that Shiro was right. But still, did he have to be this much of a pain in the ass? No! No he did not!
"And plus, if the hippo is anything like you, I think it's keeper is probably having a worse time!"
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"FOR FUCKS SAKE, RED! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T EAT THE FUCKING HOUSE PLANTS!"
"Erm, Lance? I dunno if she can understand you…"
Lance growled, "oh she understands me alright!"
The hippo in question looked at them with a blank stare before going back to eating.
Lance screamed.
"Dude chill, we'll just get you new house plants!"
"No!" Lance cried, "you don't understand, hunk! There will be no other house plants! I've given up, wounded! She's beaten me!"
"Okay, Lance, I love you man but you're crazy. And okay, so you don't want more house plants, that's fine, but she's only gonna find other stuff to destroy." Hunk sighed, "I'd say just humour her till you found her soul-person and they'll know how to control her!"
Lance flopped onto his sofa dramatically, releasing a huge groan. "They better control her."
"They will," Hunk smiled, "but for the time being, please get your hippo out of my kitchen."
"Our kitchen, but okay!"
"My kitchen."
Lance rolled his eyes, literally flopping into the kitchen. He was currently in the process of wrestling the hippo out of the kitchen when-
"How do sharks and hippos have sex?"
"LANCE!"
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His eyes snapped wide open. Running, he made it to the bathroom, plopping his ass down on the seat and sighing in relief. Keith guessed it was around 2:30 in the morning. This is not what is meant by a morning shit!
He closed his eyes, letting himself relax.
He should have known.
"OW YOU MOTHER OF FUCK AHHHHHH"
Fucking sharks.
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He screamed at the shark in question, who was now a tiny fish swimming at his feet, a large smile on his face.
"WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
The shark did nothing.
"YOURE A SON OF BITCH, YOU KNOW THAT?"
After several more minutes of screaming, Keith limped to bed with a bite mark on his ass and a new form of trust issues.
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Lance rolled behind the sofa, eyes skirting across the room. It had been an hour and a half and there had been no sign of the hippo- this meant trouble.
He sat down, letting out a sigh of relief as his eyes slid shut and his shoulders slumped. It had been a long day, the shop filled with costumers, all of which asking a different question about the same thing. The last thing he needed was to come home to a mischievous hippo. But just as he slowly and softly slipped into a blissful slumber, … he felt a large, wet mound land on his face, spreading like egg yolk. He slowly looked up, coming face to face with a drooling, emotionless hippo looking over the top of the sofa.
He screamed.
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A crash came from the lounge.
Keith shot up, sprinting in like a fucking ninja, bouncing off walls prepared to fight the intruders. And, although there was no intrusion, what Keith found was a lot worse.
"Wh-where are my fish?"
Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at the shark swimming in the tank, eyes wide like a dear caught in head lights. The lid of the tank laid on the floor, where it had been pushed off. Keith looked back at the shark.
"Y-you ate my fish?"
Tears really started rolling now. How could he? Those fish were everything to him! Those small, emo looking fish who couldn't communicate to each other properly so just kept on separate sides of the tank. Sure, they had drama, but they were family. Keith's family. And now they're dead! Just like the first time!
Ooooor so he thought.
The shark grinned, before diving out of the tank where he revealed the four (he swore he had five) emo fish that he loved so much. Drying his eyes, Keith ran to the glass.
"YOURE ALIVE! THANK GOD YOURE ALIVE!"
That was more than you could say for the shark once Keith was done with the reunion.
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"Dude you should have seen it! That hippo was, like, juggling chainsaws!!"
Lance turned to red, his face emotionless.
"You did it when I wasn't there on purpose, didn't you?"
The hippo just looked back, but Lance could see it in her eyes… that meant yes!
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"AHH YOU MOTHER OF-"
"Did that shark just tail slap its keeper? Huh"
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"LANCE! THE HIPPO IS TRAPPED IN THE BATHTUB AGAIN"
"AHHHHHH"
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"Dude! Your shark just ate your ice cream!"
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"That hippo just burst some poor girls balloon! Man, that dad is pissed! I feel sorry for the keeper!"
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"Wow, that shark sure is big!"
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"I didn't know hippos could run that fast! Hey look! It's chasing someone!"
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"DUDE! I THINK THAT SHARK JUST ATE SOMEONE!"
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Lance sighed as the red haze and burning heat washed over him. He looked up at the burning apartment complex, thinking of all the good skin care products wasted. Miraculously, his apartment seemed to be the only one that was burning- a phenomenon that no one but Lance could answer.
The Cuban turned to look at the hippo. That fucking hippo. How-
"- the fuck did you manage to do this?"
The creature in question just turned to look at him. Like. Fucking. Always.
This was it. This was the final straw.
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"Hi, yes, I'd like to return my kept animal please", Lance gave his best smile to the bored cashier o the local pet shop. He'd had enough of this fucking hippo. So what if his soulmate was gonna be pissed, it's their fault for having such an irritating soul-animal!
"I'm sorry, sir, you can't return a soul-animal." The cashier sighed.
"No no you don't understand! I have to get rid of this hippo! It's driving me crazy!"
The worker breathed in before sighing out and repeating, "I'm sorry sir, but yo-"
Before they could finish, the bell rung at the door. Lance felt himself being pushed out the way.
"Move, I'm gay. Hi, I'd like to get rid of this fucking shark, you wanna take him?"
Lance gaped, the audacity!
"Hey, Mullet, I was here first!"
The dark haired man in question barely have him a glance before looking forward again.
"I'm sorry sir, but as i was just explaining, we can't take spirit-animals."
Keith snorted, turning to Lance, "You were trying to return your kept animal?"
The boy in question gasped, "SO WERE YOU!"
"Yeah but mine is irritating, hippos are awesome!"
"SHARKS ARE AWESOME! At least I don't have a mullet!"
It was Keith's turn to gasp, "I DO NOT! And what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well-"
Both were too busy arguing to notice that their tattoos had changed, now an image of the hippo with the shark wrapped around it. Much like they were now.
Keith was half way throw making a very justified argument, in his opinion, when Lance stopped him.
"Hey, look!"
"I'm not done, as I was saying, eating fish is-"
"Shut up and look!"
Huffing, Keith did exactly that only to see the two creatures laying together side by side. The hippos head was leaning into the centre of the shark, who in turn appeared to be wrapping itself around the large mammal. Keith froze, mouth hanging open. That could only mean.
His head slowly turned to look at the - admittedly cute- Latino boy. The same boy who was staring at his wrist like it held the answers to the universe. Keith did the same, comparing the two identical tattoos. He lifted his head, blue eyes meeting purple. The brown haired boy smiled sheepishly.
"Hi."
"Hi", Keith breathed, still gobsmacked. This was his soulmate!
"I guess I haven't properly introduced myself. The names Lance!" He smirked, winking and sticking out his hand.
Keith could barely contain himself after that smooth attack, chalking out a "Keith" and awkwardly stuffing his hand in Lance's. The latter went one step forward and bent down to kiss the back of the poor Korean boys hand, who promptly died.
They exchanged numbers, and Lance insisted they arrange a date asap- he wasn't missing out on a chance of spicy Asian. Both men left the shop that night with big smiles and blushing cheeks, as well as a new animal following them and the knowledge that they'd just met the most important person in their whole lives. Let's just say, that shop got a great couple of reviews online!
And behind them, forgotten, was that tired, life-hating employee who honestly just wanted to close up shop. Poor, poor employee.