The Second Visit

by anonymouschupacabra (accordingtomyresearch)

Summary:

Keith paused for a moment. He was practically vibrating with how nervous he felt. His only thoughts for the past week had been seeing Lance again, getting to hold him, kissing him, just Lance in general, on a loop for days.

or: six months into their relationship, Lance goes to Keith's house for New Years.

or or: The Visit 2: This Time It's Personal Gay

Notes:

the long awaited part 3 to my visit online friends AU!!! this time it's Lance who's gone to stay with Keith and his dads' in Texas!!!!

Chapter 1: Reunited And It Feels So Good

---

Keith was nervous. Not that he wasn't trying to hide it, he absolutely was. He had spent the better part of the day surreptitiously checking his phone for notifications from Lance while also trying to make it seem like he wasn't surreptitiously checking for notifications from Lance.  He wasn't sure if he was successful or not, but based on the knowing smirk Shiro gave him every time he reached for his phone, he thought perhaps not.

“You understand that if you get a text, the music will lower for a second,” Shiro said as he drove, not even needing to glance at Keith who had thought he was being sneaky when checking his phone.

Red faced, caught being impatient, Keith put his phone face-down on the dashboard. “I was looking to see how long this song had left,” Keith lied, leaning back in the passenger seat. “Your music taste is terrible.”

“Um, I disagree,” Shiro said tapping his fingers on the steering wheel along to Britney Spears song coming through the speakers.

“I disagree with your disagreement,” Keith said crossing his arms and leaning his chair back. “Also it's my phone, and my Spotify account. You're gonna mess with my recents.”

“It's my car and god forbid you have a playlist on your account that doesn't feature My Chemical Romance,” Shiro said turning into the airport entrance. Keith rolled his eyes but didn't refute. “You wanted to park and go wait for him right?” Shiro asked changing the subject.

“Yeah if we can,” Keith said, moving his chair upright again.

“Well I can wait in the lot until he calls so we can get him at the curb,” Shiro said getting the lane to turn behind the long line of cars. “At least we made good time on the drive over here. Damn it's busy today.”

“I guess people are coming back from Christmas vacations,” Keith said watching cars line up behind them in the side mirrors.

“Yeah that's probably true,” Shiro sighed, lowering music slightly.

Keith could feel him looking at him in his periphery. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Shiro said looking back out the windshield.

“You say nothing but your face says something,” Keith said.

Shiro pouted to hide a smirk. “I was just thinking that you look nervous.”

Keith crossed his arms even tighter over his chest and slunk into the seat further. “I'm not.”

“Really?” Shiro glanced at him skeptically before inching the truck forward. “I would be.”

That surprised Keith. “You would?”

“Well yeah,” Shiro nodded moving to turn into the lot. “If I hadn't seen my boyfriend in months I'd be a ball of nervous.” He looked at Keith briefly. “You seem to be holding it together quite well.”

“I am?” Keith asked surprised.

“You don't think you are?”

Keith paused for a moment. He was practically vibrating with how nervous he felt. His only thoughts for the past week had been seeing Lance again, getting to hold him, kissing him, just Lance in general, on a loop for days. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Shiro pulled into a spot in the lot and put the truck in park but left the engine running.

“Do you—” Keith stopped himself, frowning as he reorganized his thoughts, “—do you ever feel like you’re… thinking about something so much that… well… that you’ve over thought it and you've made it up in your head?”

Shiro contemplated him for a moment. “Sometimes yeah. Is that how you're feeling?”

“I think I feel like I've been wanting and thinking about this so much, you know seeing him again, that it's not even real. Like, I made it all up and it’s all in my head. Like some really detailed daydream I’m about to wake up from.”

“I get that,” Shiro nodded. “It's kinda like, well when Allura went back to London for a while,” he said shifting in his seat. “We would skype and talk on the phone and text— basically all the same things you guys do. And when she came back it was like, I don't know, like a fantasy becoming reality. I mean, that makes it seem more fantastical than it was but you know what I mean. Of course, we weren't apart as long as you guys have been, plus we eventually broke up, and basically our circumstances are totally different but also, like I get it.”

There was a brief pause. Keith tapped his fingers on his thigh. “I am, by the way,” Keith admitted quietly. Shiro raised an eyebrow at him. “Nervous.”

“I'd think you were crazy if you weren't,” Shiro smiled.

Two short vibrations on the dashboard got both of their attention. Keith reached up quickly and grabbed his phone to read the text notification on his screen.

Lance: just landed!! gonna go to baggage claim and get my bag! also I need to pee like a mother fucker

Lance: can't wait to see you babe [double hearts emoji] [kissy face emoji] love you

“He landed and he's going to baggage claim,” Keith said unlocking his phone.

“That could take a few minutes, let's give it like 3 minutes and then go over there to wait for him.

“Ok,” Keith nodded. Hiding the screen from Shiro, he typed out a response.

Keith: I'll be waiting for you at the passenger pick up area.

He glanced up at Shiro to see if he was looking; Shiro was still tapping his fingers to the music coming in low trough the speakers.

Keith: I love you [sparkling heart emoji]

“Huh, I thought you'd be a red heart emoji person,” Shiro said openingly looking over Keith's shoulder at his phone.

“Ugh, you jerk,” Keith said lightly shoving Shiro away. “You're so nosey.”

Shiro shrugged like he knew and didn't care. “How come you never send me that emoji? What? You don't love me?”

“No I hate you,” Keith said locking his phone and disconnecting the auxiliary cord.

“Aw come on, that was a Backstreet Boys song,” Shiro said gesturing to the radio on the dashboard. “You're cruel.”

“Mhm,” Keith nodded.

“I don't know what Lance sees in you,” Shiro shook his head feigning hurt. Keith narrowed his eyes at him. “You're just a mean, insensitive, me—”

“Oh for god's sake,” Keith sighed grabbing the auxiliary cord and plugging it into his phone again, restarted the music. “Will you please shut up now you big baby.”

“I'm sorry I can't hear you— you are, my fire. the one desi —”

“Oh my god this was a mistake,” Keith whined tossing his head back as Shiro sang, regretting everything. “Can you please just start driving to the pick up area?”

“ But we are two worlds apart,” Shiro continued singing as he nodded his head and put the truck back in drive.

“Next time I'm just gonna ask to borrow my dad's truck instead of asking you to drive me literally anywhere,” Keith glared at Shiro. “This is torture.”

“ Tell me why,” Shiro sang louder, raising the music volume. “ Ain't nothin' but a heartache .”

“I would actually paid for an uber to go the 3 hour drive if I knew it was gonna be like this,” Keith said raising his voice to be heard over the music.

“ Tell me why, I never want to hear you say ,” Shiro just continued even louder, driving out of the parking lot and towards the pick up area. “ I want it that way.”

“This is literally worse than death,” Keith groaned. “Can you drive any faster?”

“Oh relax,” Shiro said lowering the volume as he got on the line to go to the passenger pick up area. “I'm driving you to go see your Prince Charming the least you could do is indulge me a bit.”

“I guess,” Keith said with a pout, mostly so he wouldn't have to show that he'd given in that much. Shiro was his best friend after all.

Shiro saw right through him. “Cheer up,” he said poking him in the side playfully. “You're gonna see Lance in a few minutes. You don't want frown lines. If you scowl so much your face is gonna freeze that way.”

“Good,” Keith said sticking his tongue out at Shiro. From the dashboard his phone vibrated again.

Lance: ok so peed, got my bag, and I'm heading to the pick up area. I've gotten lost twice now so hopefully I'm going the right way.

Lance: also, did I mention that I can't wait to see you? because I literally am so excited to see you

Keith couldn't help the flutter in his stomach and the small smile on his face.

Keith: waiting for you there now

Keith: I'm really excited too

“Ok, we'll wait right here,” Shiro said pulling up along the curb. He put the truck in park and they both stepped out to wait in front of the car.

Dozens of people were bustling around them, coming out of the airport and getting into cars and taxis. Keith craned his neck over the people to get a glimpse of the soft brown hair and warm tan skin he'd so been looking forward to seeing again.

“What if he didn't actually come and he's just fucking with you?” Keith snapped his head up to level a glare at Shiro who actually startled under the weight of it. “I mean I'm kidding, but also like, what if?”

“But also like what if you shut the fuck up?” Keith suggested still glaring at him.

“It was a joke,” Shiro laughed. “Of course he came to see you.”

“I know he did,” Keith said staring into Shiro's face. “He's been planning to come here before I even got on the plane back to Texas in June.”

“I know,” Shiro nodded. “Like I said, I was kidding.”

“It's not funny,” Keith said.

“Yeah you tell ‘em babe,” Lance cheered him on.

“Thank you Lance,” Keith glanced at Lance and then turned to stare back at Shiro. “And also, for the record I don't think—” the sight of Shiro's grinning face caught his attention. It took a few seconds to register what just happened. He turned back and saw Lance standing in front of him grinning. “LANCE!”

“I knew it'd take him a second,” Lance said high fiving Shiro with his hand that wasn't holding the handle of his rolling suitcase.

“You were right,” Shiro smirked. Keith just stood there blinking between them. “Actually I think we broke him.”

“Shit, yeah I think so,” Lance said wincing. “Keith? You good buddy?” he waved a hand in his face.

“I… did you guys plan this?” Keith asked confused.

“Obviously,” they scoffed in unison.

“He wanted to surprise you,” Shiro shrugged. “I thought it'd be funny.”

Keith just stared at them both, watching them exchange grins before it dawned on him.

Lance was standing in front of him .

Without wasting another second Keith jumped on Lance, grabbing his face with both hands and crashing their lips together. Lance, who was somewhat taken off guard let out a surprised yelp before dropping the handle of his suitcase and wrapping his arms around Keith's back. Bending his knees, Lance lifted Keith up in the air and Keith instantly wrapped his legs around Lance's waist. They stumbled backwards a step before Lance caught his balance.

And Keith kissed him. He kissed him and god it felt amazing. It felt like Christmas morning and his birthday and the first day of summer and coming home after a long day all at once. He kissed Lance and everything fell into place. That longing inside him, the piece of him that felt incomplete and alone was whole again. He kissed Lance and he felt good again.

After a moment, they broke apart, Lance still holding him up by the back of his thighs. They leaned their foreheads together and Keith took a steadying breath. His fingers ran through Lance's hair at the back of his head and Keith was reminded just how soft it was.

“You're here,” Keith said in awe.

“I'm here,” Lance grinned back.

“You're real,” Keith said.

“I'm real,” Lance laughed softly.

“Am I heavy?” Keith asked.

“You're heavy,” Lance said like he'd been hiding his struggle to hold Keith up this whole time.

“Sorry,” Keith laughed jumping down from on top of Lance. Holding onto Lance’s face, he kissed him one final time before taking a step back. Moving to the side, he glanced back at Shiro and sheepishly stuck his hands in his jeans pocket, realizing that he just witnessed their dramatic display. “Uh so, Shiro this is Lance, and Lance this is Shiro. Although, I guess you’ve guys already… met?”

“We’ve spoken yeah,” Shiro nodded. He extended his prosthetic arm towards Lance for a handshake. “Though it’s nice to officially meet you.”

Lance took the hand and shook it happily. “You too. Thanks for going along with my little prank.”

“Of course,” Shiro smiled. “Ok let’s get in before everyone here kills us,” he said motioning to the cars behind them starting to honk.

“Here I’ll load your suitcase,” Keith said grabbing the case, balking at how heavy it is. “Fuck, what did you pack?”

“Um, I over pack,” Lance said. “Let me do it.”

“Nah I got it, you get in,” Keith said waving him off. Lance looked at him with a flat expression. “Seriously, look,” Keith lifted the suitcase in one go.

Lance blinked at him for a moment and then shook his head. “Yeah we've been apart too long because I found that way hotter than I should have,” Lance said, half to himself, as he opened the back door to the truck and climbed inside. Keith placed the suitcase in the flatbed and then hopped in the passenger seat.

“Can I use your Spotify again?” Shiro said waving the auxiliary cord at him as he drove out of the passenger pick up area.

“Ugh fine,” Keith said pulling his phone out of his pocket and plugged it in. Shiro slipped the phone out of his hands and Keith watched with a frown as he continued playing the song he was listening to before.

“Ooh Backstreet Boys hell yeah, turn that shit up,” Lance said leaning forward and placing his hands on the back of Keith's chair.

Shiro grinned and glanced back at Lance before looking at Keith. “Oh, I like him.”

Chapter 2: You Don't Have To Lonely, At Farmers Only Dot Com

Summary:

i swear to god i almost called this entire fic that^

Notes:

this is an extra long chapter!!! I'm not sure if next week i'm gonna be able to update regularly or at all because i'm actually going to fly to meet my online friend lmao.
so i did a buttload of research for this fic because i'm not from texas im from new york lol so like if you are from texas or live on a ranch or on a farm or have interacted with animals more that i have and you see something that's incorrect,,,,, i'm sorry? i tried?

also i've been saving this chapter's title since like i was writing chapter 2 of the visit hahaha

also also there's a brief spanglish conversation and the translation is in the end notes

---

Sitting in Shiro's truck with Lance talking to Shiro as they drove to Keith's house was about as surreal a scenario as surreal could get. It was like something out of a dream; his two worlds colliding and mixing in a way that felt normal and impossible at the same time.

And as they drove through stretches of country, passing through small towns and swaths of land stippled by Super Walmarts and Whataburgers, it slowly started to feel more and more like this could be any day. The windows rolled down letting in the cool December breeze whip around their hair. Shiro and Lance talking as early millennial pop music Keith pretends to hate but secretly enjoys playing low in the speakers. Keith's fingers intertwined with Lance's on his shoulder, occasionally Lance’s thumb rubbing softly against his skin. It felt so common and calm and real, like they did this all the time.

In the three hour drive from the airport outside of Austin, they showed Lance all that central Texas had to offer; which was lots of scrublands and desolate restaurants with ominous names on lengthy roads punctuated by blink-and-you-miss-them small towns. Though Keith had sort of become immune to the long stretches of dust covered roads branching off into dirt paths with no streetlight illumination, Lance was fascinated by its alienness. He commented on every abandoned truck left to rust in the scrub brush, the smattering of trailers with almost all of the inhabitants belongings spread out in front of the lawn, the standalone barbecue eatery that had customers overflowing all which all seemed to come from nowhere, the rolling hills that went on for miles in every direction, the cluster of houses that seem to crop up out of the surrounding bush. Everything was interesting and different to him and worth note.

About three quarters of the way back, they pulled off into a small dusty town to grab lunch. Shiro swore up and down that he knew a place, a small shack of a restaurant (if it could even be called that) that had some of the best tacos this side of the border. He drove them off the interstate, onto the warbled and rough roads of the sleepy roadside town. Even through Lance’s excitement, Keith could tell that Lance was nervous.

“I’ve just, uh,” Lance began looking for how to phrase his words exactly, “never been somewhere where the main roads were dirt roads.”

Shiro and Keith shared a small laugh, exchanging looks. “Well,” Keith said turning his head to look over his shoulder at Lance, “you’re gonna be at a lot of places like that this week.” Somehow that didn’t appear to provide any comfort for Lance, and he simply swallowed and looked out the window at the passing town.

Eventually, Shiro pulled the truck into a compact dirt lot where several other cars and motorcycles were parked along a paint chipped white fence. At the end of the line of vehicles, was a wooden building, no bigger than a small gas station with a line of people 20 deep waiting at the ordering window. They all climbed out of the truck, and walked over to the end of the line.

“I guess you’re not the only one who thinks that these are the best tacos,” Keith said to Shiro as yet another car pulled up and parked in the lot.

“Nope, I swear they are really good,” Shiro said stuffing his hands in his front pockets. “You know I suss out all the good Mexican food places.”

“I don’t know, I know you always hear about Texan Mexican food, but in NYC we do have really good tacos. It’s like, a thing,” Lance said peeling off his blue hoodie and wrapping the arms around his waist. “Oh and sidenote, um Keith you could have told me it was gonna be like 70 fucking degrees here. I’m roasting my balls off wearing all this.” He tugged at his long sleeve turtleneck and his hoodie that he had obviously needed to keep warm in New York December weather, but not quite so much in Texas.

“Sorry?” Keith laughed. “Do you not have a weather app on your phone?”

“Don’t logic me,” Lance said wagging a finger at Keith.

“God forbid you use logic,” Keith smirked, crossing his arms.

For the first time since he’d they’d picked him up, Keith took a good look at Lance. And there were little things that he began to notice, that he’d forgotten. Like Lance was about an inch taller than him; he’d forgotten that. And Lance had a small beauty mark on his upper lip. And his hair glinted auburn in the late afternoon sun. And he had a small silver ring in the cartilage of his left ear. And Lance had a faint white scar on the inside of his right thumb. Also he was beautiful; Keith hadn’t so much as forgotten as he liked to remember it.  

“You're staring at me,” Lance said nudging Keith with his shoulder.

“Oh, sorry,” Keith blinked.

“Nah it's ok,” Lance smiled softly at him. “I mean, I kinda liked it, not gonna lie.”

Keith looked away blushing, “Shut up.” Lance just grinned and nudged him again. “Stop nudging me,” he said biting back a grin and nudging Lance back.

“No, you stop,” Lance grinned, elbowing him.

“You're just triggering my competitiveness,” Keith grinned back, elbowing Lance.

“Oh it's on,” Lance said. They went back and forth elbowing and shoving each other until they went too hard and accidentally shoved into Shiro in front of them.

“Shit, sorry Shiro,” Keith said, holding back a giggle. He felt Lance sheepishly crowd his side, his hand slowly moving down to fit in his own. Quickly Keith looked around at all the other people on the line with him and though he didn't see anyone blatantly staring at them, he nervously took his hand out of Lance's and slipped it into his jeans pocket.

“Why don't you guys grab a table and I'll get us the food?” Shiro said clearly not wanting to get shoved again and gestured to the few tables scattered underneath a makeshift canvas tent for shade.

“Ok, get me a coke,” Keith said.

“Yeah that's good for me too,” Lance said following Keith as they walked over to the one empty table in the far right corner of the tent.

Keith sat down across from Lance, brushing aside crumbs and ants from the top of the table. Around them the other tables were filled with people eating and talking. The din of talk and laughter was loud enough that Keith could confidently lean in and talk to Lance without worrying about being overheard.

“So how was your flight?” Keith asked.

“Long but not too bad,” Lance said drumming his fingers on the table. “There was one screaming baby but like after the first hour it must have fallen asleep or something. After that it was fine. And there's wasn't a— fuck fuck fuck I forgot to call my mom. Shit she's gonna be pissed.” Lance scrambled to get his phone out of his front pants pocket. “Do you mind? I just need to call her.”

“No go ahead,” Keith gestured openly to him.

“‘K thanks,” Lance said. Quickly, he pressed the call button on his Mom's contact and he brought it to his ear. There was a few brief seconds of waiting as it rang before Keith heard the distant sound of his mom picking up. “Hola mami… si… si bueno, me olvidé… yo sé… lo siento mami… cada día,” he rolled his eyes and shook his head exasperated, “...ahora un amigo de Keith está comprando comida para nosotros… un—uh,” he glanced back at the small shack— “un taco stand… si bueno, casi todos de los latinos aquí son mexicanos …” he rolled his eyes again, “oh my god I know, yo sé… tú me dijiste eso like everyday… ok… ok… si, bye mami… ok... bueno…te quiero también… bye.” With a great sigh he hung up and placed his phone face down on the table.

“Was she too mad?” Keith asked.

“She gave me the usual “ if you don't call I don't know if you're alive and I'm worried about you please remember to call everyday, ” thing,” Lance said slipping into an exaggerated Cuban accent to mimic his mother. “But that's fairly normal actually, she does that when I go anywhere. Nobody worries like a Cuban mom worries.”

“But she loves you and cares about you,” Keith said. “That's why she gets like that.”

“I mean yeah,” Lance shrugged. “Also she's just Cuban and worrying is in her genes.”

Keith regarded him for a moment with a soft smile. “I like when you talk in Spanish. You're voice is different when you do that.”

“Really?” Lance said surprised. “Huh, I never thought about it. Like different how?”

“Like lower, and a little deeper,” Keith said. “It's nice. Also when you're talking in Spanish, your English words start to have a slight accent.”

“Huh, I never noticed,” Lance said with a nod. “So are you saying you find that hot or…?” Lance grinned.

Keith kicked him lightly under the table. “Shut up,” he laughed, rolling his eyes.

“I'll take that as a yes,” Lance said trapping Keith's foot between his own. Slowly, he curled his foot under Keith's calf and locked their legs together. Keith looked around surreptitiously, trying to see if anyone was paying attention to them; but they seemed to be far enough in the corner and too out of the way that they were relatively ignored.

“Ok guys, sorry that took so long,” Shiro said coming over and placing a tray overflowing with food and drinks on the table. Sitting down next to Keith, he pushed the tray into the middle. “Ok so I just got chicken all around for all of us, also because that's their specialty. But there's their special salsa and homemade hot sauce and there's lime here if you want it and a ton of napkins,” he said pointing at all the stuff on the tray. “Ok grab one, dig in.”

They didn't need to be told twice. All of them took a soft tortilla tacos and dug in, making satisfied moans as they bit into their food. The three of them were silent for a few seconds as they ate their first taco. After a moment they all realized they were quiet and they broke out into laughter.

“I love how it was so good we all just went silent for a minute,” Lance said shoving the last bite of food into his mouth.

“I mean was I right or was I right?” Shiro said popping open the tab on his coke can.

“You were right,” Keith nodded reaching for his own can.

“Holy shit I was hungry,” Lance said grabbing another taco. “I forgot that I hadn't eaten on the plane.”

“Here, I'll eat this one, you can have my third taco,” Keith said moving a foil wrapped taco across the tray towards Lance.

“No that's ok, I'll be—”

“Lance just take it, it's ok I don't mind,” Keith insisted. Lance looked hesitant. “Oh my god, Lance eat the fucking taco.”

“Ok ok,” Lance laughed, pulling it closer to himself. “Thanks babe.”

“You're welcome,” Keith in a rush, looking around to see if anyone was listening; luckily everyone was still eating.

---

It was only a 40 minute drive to the ranch after they finished eating. Feeling comfortably full and warmly tired, Keith and Lance climbed into the back seat of the truck and took a brief nap as Shiro drove them home.

There was something so normal about sitting next to Lance in Shiro's truck. Lance's arm over his shoulder, Keith's head tipped back on his arm, Lance’s soft breath on his hair. It was so inconsequential and simple but when Keith awoke as Shiro drove up the familiar dirt road on his family's ranch and up to his house, and he was tucked comfortably into Lance’s side, he realized didn’t want to move.

“I’ll bring his bag inside,” Shiro whispered as he parked the car. Keith nodded but didn’t get up to move just yet.

He tilted his head up to look at Lance who was still knocked out next to him. Lance looked so soft and peaceful. Keith didn't wanna wake him.

“Hey,” Keith whispered, putting his hand on Lance's thigh and shaking him gently. “We’re here.”

“Hmm?” Lance hummed, stirring slowly. He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes before looking down at Keith still laying against him. “How long did I sleep for?”

“Less than an hour,” Keith said quietly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep,” Lance sighed softly.

“It's ok.” Keith paused a second before lifting his chin up slightly and connecting their lips together. It was a sweet, brief kiss, much less hurried and frantic than their kiss at the airport, but it felt just as good. Their lips moved lazily for a few moments before they pulled apart.

Lance looked down at him, brushing the hair out of Keith's face with his free hand that wasn't wrapped around his shoulders. “Yeah I could get used to this,” he grinned.

“Shut up,” Keith smiled, getting up. “Come on, let's go inside. I'm sure my dads’ are practically vibrating with excitement to meet you.”

“Yeah, I'm sort of super nervous about that,” Lance said following Keith out of the truck and hoping down onto the dirt patch they were parked on.

“Why?” Keith asked closing the car door behind them.

“Because I— wow you guys really do live on a ranch,” Lance said cutting himself off.

Keith looked around where Lance was looking. It all seemed very regular to him but he could see how someone, especially from New York, could be surprised by this level of rural living. The long low ranch house sat nestled in the bit of clear flat area right on the outskirts of a semi densely tree lined area. Stretching out in front and all around the house was acres and acres of land.

“I mean you knew that,” Keith said. “What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, the Queens’ County Farm?” Lance laughed.

“Um, no,” Keith chuckled. “It's much, much bigger than that.”

“Evidently,” Lance said looking around. “Anyway,” Lance turned back to Keith, “yes I'm nervous because I'm meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. It's scary.”

“I met your parents,” Keith said with a casual shrug.

“Yeah but like, we weren't together yet when you first met them. It's different,” Lance frowned.

“How?”

“Well because my parents were just like judging you on friend criteria, and your dads’ are gonna judge me on boyfriend criteria,” Lance said gesturing vaguely.

“Which are different how?” Keith asked amused.

“It's like friend criteria only this time I have the added pressure of knowing that your parents know that I've kissed you,” Lance said. He placed his hands over his face. “Which is like, ridiculously embarrassing.”

“I'm sure you'll survive,” Keith said taking one of Lance's hands off his face, and threading their fingers together. “Come on, let's get this over with.”

Reluctantly, Lance agreed and followed Keith up the short but wide stairs and up to the wrap around porch. With his free hand, Keith turned the knob and walked them both inside.

Just where he thought they would be, Keith saw his parents were both sitting in their respective favorite armchairs, leaning forward and talking to each other in front of their very large brightly lit christmas tree. Those were their “good news” spots that they sat in when they wanted to talk to Keith about good things like vacations or gifts. If he'd walked in and they’d both been sitting on the couch, he would have been worried.

“Hey guys,” Keith said walking over towards them. He was nervous, but through their linked hands he could feel Lance's own hesitation so he swore to himself to be calm and in control, if just for Lance’s sake. They both looked up at them, their faces warm and happy; that put Keith at ease. “Um there's someone I'd like you to meet.” He turned his head to Lance who was standing next to him nervously. “This is Lance Espinosa, my boyfriend. Lance these are my dads, Thace and Ulaz.”

“It's so great to finally meet you,” Thace said standing up and outstretching a hand to Lance.

“It's great to finally meet you too,” Lance said happily shaking his hand.

“We've heard so much about you from Keith, it's great to finally put a face to the name,” Ulaz said coming up behind Thace.

“Heard good things I hope,” Lance said sending a brief smile at Keith.

“Oh, of course,” Thace nodded smiling.

“I hope your trip here went well,” Ulaz said. “Its unfortunate that the best flight from New York is into Austin, but you three seemed to make good time coming back.”

“Yeah, we stopped for food like an hour ago otherwise we would have come back sooner,” Keith explained.

“Oh what'd you eat?” Thace asked.

“Tacos,”  Keith said.

“They were amazing,” Lance added.

“Well if you want Mexican food there's probably no place better than Texas,” Thace said with a small laugh.

“Perhaps Mexico,” Ulaz said after a moment. Thace nodded in agreement retroactively.

“Um, I'm gonna bring Lance's stuff to my room now,” Keith said. “And then maybe show him around a bit.”

“Yes of course,” Thace said. “Settle in and then take him through the grounds, Shiro's checking on the chickens right now if you want to see them,” he said looking at Lance.

“Oh— I kinda do actually yeah,” Lance nodded with a smile.

“Ok, let's get your stuff into my room and then we'll go to the chickens, and then the rest of the animals,” Keith said letting go of Lance's hand and grabbing the handle of his suitcase and popping it up. “Come.”

“I'm following you,” Lance said gesturing for him to lead the way.

Keith walked them through the living room and passed the dining room and down a long hallway. All the way at the end on the right he came to his bedroom door and walked inside, rolling the suitcase in behind him.

“Is it weird that I recognize the room from skype?” Lance said looking around the room  and closing the door behind him. “Like I knew that your bed was gonna be in the middle of the room like that, and your desk is in the corner by your closet, and you have your own bathroom.” Keith gave him an amused look. “It's cool. It's like walking onto a set of a tv show.”

“Only I actually live here,” Keith said putting the suitcase against the wall by his closet and dropped onto the bed with a bounce. “So?”

“So...what?” Lance said with a smirk.

“So... what do you think?”

“About your room or your parents or your house or everything?” Lance asked.

“About everything,” Keith shrugged.

“I love it,” Lance said dropping down on the bed next to Keith. “I love everything so far. Your dad Ulaz has a british accent, that’s cool. And your parents are really nice, although a little intimidating.”

“Intimidating?” Keith scoffed.

“Yeah, they are,” Lance nodded. “I mean, cool and like gay couple hashtag goals but like also intimidating.”

“Hmm, I've never heard that one before,” Keith shrugged. “Well so there's a bathroom there if you need it and I don't know if you wanted to change your clothes or something but we're gonna walk around and it's gonna get fairly cold.”

“Yeah I'm gonna use the bathroom, I'll be right back,” Lance said getting up from the bed and heading over to the ensuite.

Keith waited for the door to close completely before tossing himself back on the bed. He rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a heavy breath. His heart was still beating so fast. He couldn't believe how nervous he'd been introducing Lance to his dads. It was one thing talking to them about Lance but it was a completely other thing standing there, hand in hand saying things like “this” and “is” and “my” and “boyfriend”. It was all very overwhelming.  

The bed shook and Keith felt Lance jump on him with an “ooffph.” Keith lifted his hands off his face and watched as Lance straddled his waist. “Comfortable?” Keith asked, putting his hands on Lance's hips.

“Quite comfy yeah,” Lance nodded with a grin. He leaned down, placing his hands on either side of Keith's head, caging him in. He smirked down at him, his eyes traveling from Keith's eyes to his lips. “I kinda like you like this.”

“Like what?” Keith said, playing along.

“Like this, trapped underneath me,” Lance said with a sly smirk.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Keith said.

“Because I'm enjoying the view,”  Lance grinned.

“Well I'm enjoying the view from down here,” Keith said, sliding his hands up from Lance's hips up to his waist.

Lance's smirk turned from sly to soft as he bent down to press a kiss to Keith's lips. Just like the kiss they shared in the truck, this one was brief and sweet. “We definitely need to take more pictures this time around,” Lance whispered, running his nose along Keith's. “I don't just want to have to commit things to memory.”

“We'll have a whole photo session if that's what you want,” Keith breathed, kissing whatever he could on Lance's face. “I'm just so happy you're here.”

“Me too, Keith,” Lance smiled. “Me too.”

---

Keith led Lance outside and through the back of the house and out towards a rather large chicken coop in the shape of a big red barn. Already outside, Shiro was corralling the chickens to one side of the chicken run so that he could clean the other.

“Chickens!” Lance cried happily, sending the birds in a clucking heap.

“Here, come meet them,” Keith said stepping over the chicken wire. He held out a hand and helped Lance into the enclosure.

“Thanks for letting me borrow boots,” Lance said stepping in the feed and dirt covered chicken run. “I can't believe I didn't think to pack some.”

“No problem,” Keith said kneeling down and petting a cheerfully clucking brown hen.

“What's her name?” Lance asked kneeling down next to Keith, although far less confidently.

“This is Hippolyta,” Keith said brushing at her feathers. “The light brown one over there is Ophelia, the one with the greenish feathers on the left is Imogen and the one on the right is Juliet, and the three by Shiro from left to right are Desdemona, Cordelia, and Lady Macbeth.”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows in thought. “... Shakespeare?”

“My dads are literary nerds,” Keith shrugged

“That's… fucking adorable,” Lance laughed. “Can I pet her?”

“Sure,” Keith said moving over. He took Lance's hand and placed it lightly on the hen’s back. “Just pet her feathers slow and gentle.”

Lance beamed as he continued to pet Hippolyta, attempting to mimic her clucks and coos. “She's so cute oh my god.”

“Yeah she is,” Keith smiled. “She one of my favorites, her and—” he got up and carefully walked over to the two green feathered hens clucking away in the far corner of the run. Carefully, he picked up the one on the right who let herself be taken without any struggle and placed her under his right arm, holding her against his side . “And Imogen. She's my favorite.” Keith pet the along the underside of her neck as he walked back over to Lance.

“She's cute,” Lance said continuing to pet Hippolyta.

“Yeah she is,” Keith said petting her. “Really gentle. Loves to be pet. My dad says she more cat than hen.”

“Do you ever just come out here and cuddle with them?” Lance asked.

Keith looked behind him to make sure Shiro was out of earshot; he was inside the coop, readying the warming lamps for the night. Once he knew Shiro couldn't hear him he turned back to Lance. “Yeah I do,” he said reluctantly.

“I don't know what's cuter, you or the birds,” Lance said with a laugh. “Maybe the birds.”

Keith shrugged in agreement. He placed Imogen down, after giving her a brief kiss on the head. “Here come on, Shiro's gonna put them back in the coop for the night and I still wanna show you around more.”

“Ok,” Lance said getting up from where he was kneeling.

Keith helped him out of the run, stepping over the chicken wire. “Come,” he took Lance's hand. “I wanna show you around.”

For the next hour or so Keith took Lance around to all the animals near the house. He took him to the stables to see all of the horses as they were getting brushed down; Lance absolutely fell in love with a older white spotted horse named Zeus. Then he took him to the small barn where they had a few goats; they had all already gone to sleep by the time they arrived but Keith promised they'd be back tomorrow and they could feed them. And last but not least, Keith showed him their one cow, an old milk cow that Ulaz had rescued as a calf from a rainstorm.

“She's like the iconic looking cow,” Lance said. He was standing on the lowest bar of the slatted wooden fence, leaning over into the enclosure, watching the cow Guinevere graze as the sun began to set in the distance. “Like when you think cow this is what you picture. She's got the white and black coloring like a cartoon.”

Keith was only half paying attention to what Lance was saying. He was too wrapped up in watching the early winter sun set behind the trees, and how the light streamed out through the branches of the trees and wrapped around Lance like a scene from a movie. His whole face was illuminated by the beams of gold and rose light, stretching out from the horizon and casting a warm hazy aura around him. Keith was leaning back against the fence, and he wasn't looking anywhere but Lance's beautiful face.

“—and it's just sort so surreal. I mean I knew that people lived in places like this, but I guess, living in New York it's hard to imagine what it's really actually like,” Lance said.

“What what's really actually like?” Keith asked, just now tuning back in from thinking about how Lance was legitimately standing right next to him in all his glory.

Lance looking over at him with a slight frown. “Are you even listening to me? I fly hundreds of miles to see you and you tune me out,” he teased.

“I'm listening,” Keith said. “I just not… paying… attention…” Lance frowned even harder. “Because I was thinking about how you're here and in my home and so beautiful and I'm happy.”

Lance's face softened. “Good save.”

---

It was late, well after the sun had set, by the time that Keith and Lance made it back to the house. Tired, the two of them waved sleepy good nights to Keith's dads and headed to Keith's bedroom. Shuffling in, Keith closed the door behind them, and began pulling off his hoodie and shirt.

“Oh babe, I'm flattered but I'm so tired right now,” Lance said glancing at him from where he was crouched by his suitcase.

“I'm going to shower, you dirty minded idiot,” Keith said with a breathy laugh. “Unless, did you want to shower first?”

“I mean we could save water and time if we—”

“Go shower,” Keith said cutting Lance off.

“Ok thank you,” Lance said grabbing clothes from his suitcase. “I'm just gonna count that as a rain check,” he said as he closed the door behind him in the bathroom. Keith shook his head, smiling despite himself.

The two of them showered and got ready for bed, sharing the sink as they washed their faces and brushed their teeth. It all felt very warm and domestic. Keith turned off lights and put his phone to charge and got a glass of water for the both of them, doing all the normal “getting ready to sleep” things.

And it was a nice taste of what a regular relationship could be like. This could have been a sleepover weekend that Lance had come to stay Keith thought to himself watching Lance typing on his phone, sitting up under the covers in his bed. Lance was wearing a big, comfy semi-worn Batman t-shirt and his hair was still slightly damp from his shower. Keith wished he could save this moment for when he missed Lance most, a quiet unimportant moment to think about when things felt too hard and he missed Lance too much.

With that thought, Keith grabbed his phone and opened up the camera app. Trying not to alert Lance to what he was doing, he centered the image, and took a picture of Lance quietly sitting on his phone on Keith’s bed. Unfortunately, his phone was not on silent and there was a resounding click as he snapped a picture.

“Did you just take a picture of me?” Lance asked looking up at him.

“Um, yes?” Keith said embarrassed.

Lance laughed grabbing and tossing a pillow towards Keith. “Dude what the fuck, I’m like a mess right now, you couldn’t give me some warning?”  

“But I like the way you look right now,” Keith said catching the pillow and tossing it back.

“Garbage? You like wet, fresh out the shower, hashtag no filter, big sleeping shirt garbage?” Lance teased crawling over to him on the bed.

“If that's what you think you look like right now, then yeah,” Keith smiled running a hand through Lance's damp hair.

“Let me see that picture,” Lance said reaching for the phone, but Keith lifted it out of his reached before he could grab it. “Gimme,” Lance laughed stretching to get it.

“No you're gonna delete it,” Keith said chuckling at Lance's antics.

“Hell yeah I am,” Lance said standing up on the bed. Keith moved the phone behind his back, bending backwards to be out of his reach.

“No way then.”

“Please, I can't have you looking at garbage pictures of me when I'm gone, you'll forget how ethereally beautiful I am.”

Keith scoffed. “Like I could.”

Lance frowned at him through a smile. “Don't be smooth like that, it's unfair.” Keith just grinned. “Fine,” Lance huffed. “Keep your garbage picture of me, just understand I will be taking a garbage picture of you at some point so beware.”

“That's fine,” Keith shrugged. Lance pouted but walked back over to where he was sitting and dropped down on the bed with a bounce. Keith stood at the edge, watching him settle in the bed, pulling the comforter over him. After a few moments of looking at him, Lance finally noticed that Keith hadn’t moved yet.

“Why are you just staring at me?” Lance said with a soft smile.

“Because I’m trying to decide if I want to give it to you now or if I want to wait until morning,” Keith said crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh babe, like I said I’m super flattered but I am super tired and—”

“Still not what I’m talking about you gross moron,” Keith laughed. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a few moments before he decided to go for it anyway. Crossing the room in a few steps he reached under his desk and pulled out a relatively large and heavy rectangular package that he'd wrapped in shiny black and gold snowflake wrapping paper. Turning around to face Lance who was staring at him with curiosity, he held it nervously in his hands before walking to the side of the bed and handed it to Lance without much ceremony. “Merry Christmas Lance.”

“Oh Keith,” Lance said, all curiosity and concern melting away as he took the box in his hands leaving only loving joy in it’s place. He stared at it for a moment before putting it down next to him and jumping up off the bed. Quickly he rummaged through his suitcase, pulling out a small, long green and red rectangular box with a gold bow on top. Lance took a deep fortifying breath, and then walked around the bed and handed Keith the small box. “Merry Christmas Keith.”

With a soft smile, Keith took the small box out of his hands. Surprised at how heavy it was for such a small box, he could feel something moving around inside as he shook it gently. “Thanks,” he said admiring the package.

“Why don’t we open them at the same time?” Lance suggested, picking up his gift from the bed.

“Yeah ok,” Keith agreed.

“Ok, so one… two… three.”

Lance and Keith both went to open their gifts, but Keith held back a second to watch Lance open his. He held his breath as Lance ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal the thick, fur covered book inside. Keith saw a small, soft smile grow on Lance’s face as he cleared away the rest of the wrapping paper and ran his fingers over the cover of the book.

“Oh Keith,” Lance said softly, running his fingers through the gray-brown fur on the book. He laughed quietly to himself, turning the book over in his hands, shaking his head in awe, taking in the teeth lined clasp on the book and the leathered embossed title. “I can’t even… The Monster Book of Monsters… this is unreal.” Watching Lance fawn over his gift made Keith feel extremely good inside. “How… I mean…” he let out another laugh, “where did you?... I don’t even know what to say.”

“So… you like it?” Keith asked glancing down at the book in Lance’s hands.

“Like it— Keith I’ve wanted this book since I was like 7 years old, I can’t believe you even remembered I’m just in shock…” Lance said looking up at Keith in awe. “Where’d you find it? It looks straight out of Prisoner of Azkaban.”

“A lot of late nights on the internet looking for one that not only looked like the book, but had the lore inside,” Keith said feeling a little proud for nailing the gift.

“This… this must have cost you like $200,” Lance said in shock.

“... And?” Keith shrugged.

Lance looked at him like he was crazy. “My gift to you is like half of that! I feel so… so… like I swindled you…”

“Lance, you bought plane tickets and you flew out to see me, as far as I’m concerned you didn’t have to get me jack shit, I’m more than happy as having you here as my present,” Keith said earnestly.

“What the fuck man,” Lance breathed shaking his head at Keith. “You’re like, super fucking good at this whole boyfriend thing. It’s like you’re a professional. A professional boyfriend.”

“A professional boyfriend?’ Keith smirked.

“Yeah, a professional boyfriend,” Lance nodded. “God, I’m shit in comparison to you. I mentioned that I wanted this book like what, one time? And you remembered.”

“I listen,” Keith said slightly affronted.

“I know you do,” Lance said softly. He placed the book on the bed, and took a step forward, gathering Keith’s face in his hands. “You’re amazing,” he whispered looking Keith in the eye. “This was an incredible gift, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Keith said, leaning in and kissing him.

“Ok, now open your gift,” Lance said pushing aside the book and dropping down onto the bed. His voice sounded excited his face looked nervous as he watched Keith, standing above him. “I will say that I did have to get something small that I could fit in my suitcase because I wanted to give it to you in person rather than just mail it to you especially because I was coming here and I really wanted to see you open it but of course if you don't like I can return it and get you something—”

Keith removed the ribbon that was surrounding the box and then pulled off the bowed top, lifting off the lid. Moving aside the folded over bits of tissue paper, Keith saw a smooth pale green stone inlaid in a bamboo base with four Japanese characters written down the right hand bottom side. Carefully Keith ran his fingers over the top of the surface, feeling that it felt less smooth than it looked.

“It's beautiful,” Keith said softly.

“It's a whetstone,” Lance said moving to stand next to Keith. “Like a professional one from Japan.”

“I've always wanted one like this,” Keith said half in awe and half in surprise that it was actually in my hand.

“I know,” Lance smiled, rubbing his hand gently on Keith's back. “I saw this and I knew I had to get it for you because I know you have your mother’s knife and I thought, since I'd never get to meet her, if I got you something in relation to her it was kinda like… I don't know… I was meeting her halfway I guess— I don't know, maybe that doesn't make sense—”

Keith didn't even let him finish, he just leaned in and kissed him. He wasn't even sure if he could speak if he even had anything to say, because all he could think about was Lance and how amazing he was and how he needed to be kissing him in that moment because he wasn’t going to let a chance go.

He put down the whetstone next to him on the bed and he took Lance’s face with both hands and he kissed him, the tips of his fingers touching at the damp hairs that fell over his ears. Keith savored the way Lance’s cool clean skin felt against his own. And how he smelled like something tropical from his soap. How he responded so eagerly and made the softest sounds as they kissed.

They pulled apart slowly, both of them out of breath and exhaling slowly. Lance’s eyes fluttered open, his eyes meeting Keith’s a hair’s breath apart. Both of their hands were holding their other’s face and neck, the grip both light and needy. Keith knew he should say something for the gift but his mind still couldn’t form words.

“So…” Lance breathed after a moment. “I’m guessing you liked it?”

Keith let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I love it.”

“Good,” Lance smiled. “Let’s go to bed now, ok?”

“Yeah good idea,” Keith nodded, sliding his hands off Lance’s face. They moved their gifts, and cleared off the wrapping paper and boxes from Keith’s bed, and proceeded to climb in together.

As soon as he was under the covers, Lance curled up next to him, pillowing his head on Keith's chest before he could even settle in completely. “Mhm, this is good,” Lance sighed happily, wrapping his arms around Keith. “I'm so glad you have a full sized bed, this is optimal for two grown ass dudes to lay in—well at least better than my twin.”

“I liked your twin,” Keith said reaching over and turning off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness, the only bit of light coming from the orange glow of the computer charger. He settled more in bed, wrapping his arm around Lance's shoulders.

“Mmm I like you,” Lance hummed sleepily against his chest. Keith breathed out a small laugh, suddenly feeling very tired. “Goodnight Keith.”

“‘Night Lance.”

Notes:

also here's a brief translation of the spanglish conversation Lance had with his mother:

“Hi mom… yeah… yeah well, I forgot… I know… I'm sorry mom… everyday,” he rolled his eyes and shook his head exasperated, “...right now a friend of Keith's is buying lunch for us … a—uh,” he glanced back at the small shack— “a taco stand… yeah well, almost all of the latinos here are mexican …” he rolled his eyes again, “oh my god I know, I know… you told me that like everyday… ok… ok… yeah, bye mom… ok... good…i love you too… bye.”

Chapter 3: Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

Notes:

i managed to squeeze in one last update before my trip!!! and on halloween!! how spooky! although there's nothing spooky about this chapter, in fact it's just, a little bit sexy actually. this chapter is putting that Mature rating to full use.

also i did research on horses and horse riding and if i got something wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess i'll die

---

Keith awoke the next morning around the same time that he always does. It was still early enough that the sun hadn't quite started to rise yet. Early enough that he knew Lance would not appreciate being woken up.  

Carefully he removed himself from Lance's grasp, that had become even tighter and encompassing throughout the night, and slipped out of bed. As quietly as possible he used the bathroom, dressed himself in his workout clothes, pulled on a hoodie, and gave Lance a quick kiss on the forehead before he left the room. Pocketing his phone and headphones, he went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and say hello to his dad Thace, who was doing his daily coffee chug.

“Hey kiddo,” Thace said, pouring about half a container of creamer into his coffee. “Going for your run?”

“Yeah,” Keith said opening the fridge. “Lance is still asleep though, so don't wake him.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” Thace said pouring sugar into his coffee. “He settle in ok?”

“Mhm,” Keith nodded.

Thace took a long sip from his coffee, regarding him over the lip of the mug. “So…” Keith raised an eyebrow at him. “How does it feel seeing him again? Like, in the flesh.”

Keith felt his soul leave his body; this was absolutely the last conversation he wanted to have at 5am with his dad. “It's… fine.”

“Fine? Just fine?” Thace said skeptically. “You've been besides yourself for the past month and a half and he gets here and you're just fine?”

Keith groaned. “Ok it's more than fine. It's super duper awesome amazing.”

“That's more like it,” Thace grinned. His smile faltered for a moment as he seemed to ponder how to phrase what he wanted to say next. “Um, so I know that it is very exciting that your boyfriend is here and staying with you. And I'm not gonna tell you that he can't sleep in your room with you, you're an adult and whatnot.” Keith began to brace, sensing that he did not want to hear the rest of what his dad was going to say. “But I just want you two to… well, to be safe when the two of you have s—”

“Nope,” Keith said cutting him off. He grabbed the nearest water bottle and closed the fridge. “Nope, nope not having this conversation.”

“But I have to say it, it's part of my parental obligation,” Thace said with a laugh. “It's in the adoption papers contract. I'm legally obligated to give you the sex talk.”

“Why would you wait until now!?” Keith said in a raised whisper.

“Because now’s the only time I thought you might be having sex,” Thace whisper yelled back. Keith gave an affronted huff. “That came out wrong. I meant that at this point in your life it's seems the likeliest that you would be engaging in sexual conduct and I could see you having some questions.”

“Please don't think about me having— oh my god this is the worst morning of my life,” Keith said running a hand down his face. “I'm gonna go run away now.”

He started to walk away but Thace called out after him. “We have to have it at some point. You're not escaping this one!”

“Oh my god kill me,” Keith whispered under his breath as he left the house.

---

A little over an hour later when Keith returned home, he narrowly avoiding running into his dad as he tended to the chickens. The last thing he wanted was to continue their conversation so the obvious choice was to try to avoid him forever. Making it inside unaccosted, Keith quietly slipped into his room hoping not to wake Lance only to see him lazily scrolling through his phone in bed.

“Hey, ‘morning,” Lance said, putting down his phone on his stomach. “Did you go out for your run?”

“Yeah I just came back,” Keith nodded, settling down his phone and headphones on the desk. “I'm gonna go shower though, I'm all sweaty.” He kicked off his shoes, pulled off and  tossed his hoodie on the desk chair, leaving him just in his t-shirt and joggers.

“Wait come here, let me kiss you,” Lance said reaching for him.

Keith rolled his eyes but walked over anyway. He leaned down and pressed a slow kiss to Lance's lips. Lance smiled into the kiss, lifting his hand up and placing it on the back of Keith's head, threading his fingers through Keith's hair. Keeping his balance by placing his hands on either side of Lance's head on the bed, Keith continued to kiss him, each kiss needier and hotter than the last.

Lance let out a small raspy moan as his grip tightened on Keith's hair. Giving in to the kiss, Keith knelt down on the bed, moving until he was straddling Lance.

The kiss was instantly better. With a better angle, Lance could bring both hands into Keith's hair, holding him as he licked his way into Keith's mouth. With Lance laying down underneath him, Keith moved one of his hands to hold Lance's waist over the covers. They moved in slow thrusting motions against each other as the kisses became more and more heated.

But still Keith felt somewhat hesitant to move things “under the covers” so to speak. Despite plenty of amazing and incredibly hot phone and skype sex sessions over the past six months, they never really had a direct conversation about what they were comfortable doing in person. And even though Keith's dad seemed to assume that they were already having sex, Keith wasn't so sure. To be honest, he hadn't really given it much thought.

“Keith,” Lance moaned, tilting his head back.

He continued to kiss down Lance’s neck and along his jaw. “Yeah?” he breathed.

“You're sweaty.”

Keith laughed against Lance's skin. “I told you I was. I just came back from a run, what did you expect?”

“I kinda like it though,” Lance mumbled, nosing against Keith's jawline. “It's weirdly hot.”

“You and your kinks,” Keith chuckled fondly. “Ok, I'll go shower, I'll be right out.” He pressed one last kiss to Lance's lips before getting off the bed.

“Mhm,” Lance hummed, rolling back on his side and under the covers. “I'll be here.”

Keith smiled and went into the bathroom to shower. But his mind was still on Lance, and kissing him, and laying on top of him in the bed while kissing him, and— ok perhaps Keith had given this a bit more thought than he was willing to admit.

But it was one thing to talk hypothetically about all this over the phone or text, but it was a whole other thing when faced with it in real life. And, much to Keith's chagrin, he'd never before been in a situation where the person he liked and wanted to engage in sexual activities with, also liked and want him. So this was all very new territory in a very alien world.

Keith debated taking care of himself in the shower, but deciding against it after thinking about how Lance was just right out there in his room. Which highlighted an entirely second problem; Lance was right there.

In all their flirting and sex talk over the phone, Keith never really processed the fact that at some point Lance would be there with him and all the things they talked about doing, they could actually do them. Which was terrifying. Exciting of course. But mostly terrifying.

Keith didn't forget that Lance was a lot more experienced than he was, both in dating and sex. Keith had never had a boyfriend, never had sex, never really been on a date before he met Lance. He could count the number of times he'd kissed someone on one hand and still have fingers to spare. And while Keith was also Lance’s first boyfriend, he was not his first partner.

“Keith?” Lance said knocking on the door, muffled by the rushing water. “Can I come in and brush my teeth?”

“Yeah sure,” Keith said reaching out of the curtain and unlocking the door. “Come in.”

“Thanks—woah it's foggy in here,” Lance said as he walked in.

“I like hot showers,” Keith said.

“Clearly, it's like a sauna in here,” Lance said wiping a clear spot on the vanity mirror. “Yikes my hair's a mess.” There was a brief moment of silence. “So wha’ are we donin’ today?” Lance asked as he brushed his teeth.

“I thought maybe we could go see the horses today, you know, in earnest,” Keith said rubbing shampoo in his hair. “Go horseback riding around the ranch.”

Lance spit into the sink. “We're doing what now?”

“Horseback riding,” Keith repeated. He pulled aside the curtain slightly to look out at Lance. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah it's fine,” Lance said, clearly lying.

“Are you… afraid?” Keith asked.

“No I just, like,” Lance went back to brushing his teeth nonchalantly, “las’ time I was on a ‘orse I sorta fell off.”

“Lance,” Keith said exasperatedly.

“But tha’ was a long time ago,” Lance insisted, brushing with extra force. “I'm ‘ure I'll be fine ‘ow.”

“Ok…” Keith said moving back behind the curtain and rinsing out the shampoo from his hair.

“I swear,” Lance said spitting into the sink. “Oh and your soap mohawk is literally the cutest thing ever.”

“Shut up,” Keith blushed, glad that Lance couldn't see him through the curtain.

---

“Ok I've put the saddle on myself and I know everything is right and secure so you have nothing to worry about,” Keith said standing next to Zeus, petting him gently. “So mounting a  horse is really simple.” Lance let out a disagreeing laugh. “Seriously, it's simple.”

“Yeah we'll see,” Lance said looking uncomfortable.

Keith paused. Lance was standing with his hands shoved deep in his jeans pockets. His jeans were tucked into the boots he'd borrowed from Keith and the sleeves of his NYU hoodie were pushed up to his forearms. He looked like a fish out of water.

“If you're nervous we don't have to do this, we can do something else,” Keith suggested.

“No, no I want to, I just don't think it's as easy as you think it is,” Lance said. “I mean the last thing I mounted was a dil—”

“Oh are y'all going horseback riding?” Thace said effectively cutting Lance off, who turned bright red at his unfinished sentence.

“Maybe,” Keith said adjusting the reins in his hand. “Only if Lance is comfortable enough to get on the horse.”

“Oh but you gave him ol’ Zeus. He's a sweetheart. You'll be in good hands— or hooves really,” Thace said walking into the stables.

“Ok fine, how do I get on this thing?” Lance said taking a few steps closer.

“Ok it's easy,” Keith said moving Lance close to the side of the horse and standing slightly behind him. “Here hold onto the pommel with your left hand and put your other hand here on the back. Now take your left foot and put it in the stirrup.”

“Um ok so hand here on this knob thingy and foot in the hole thingy,” Lance said placing himself where Keith instructed. “Ok got it, what else?”

“Now jump and place your weight on your left foot and swing your right leg around the back until you're sitting on the horse.”

“So… ok right, easy peasy,” Lance said psyching himself up. “I just gotta,” he jumped a few times before he finally was able to swing his leg around and over the back of the horse. “Holy shit. I'm on a horse.”

“You're on a horse,” Keith said handing Lance the reins. “So a light kick with both heels to move forward and move the reins in the direction you want to go and to stop pull back gently on the reins. And you can pet him on his neck, just don't pull his mane.”

“Cool cool cool cool,” Lance agreed nervously. Keith began to step away to get on his horse. “Hey hey where are you going you can't just leave me here on this monster and then walk away that's child endangerment.”

“You're not a child and I'm just going to go mount my horse, right over there,” Keith said pointing at the light auburn younger horse grazing. “I will be right back I promise. You are fine.”

“If I die, tell my mother that I love her and that it was all your fault.”

Keith rolled his eyes as he walked over to his horse, a younger horse named Circe. Having already prepared her saddle, Keith effortlessly hoisted himself up and onto her back. With ease, he moved her towards where Lance was still standing. “Ready?”

“Why was that so cool!?” Lance said flabbergasted. “How did you make that look so cool!?”

“What?”

“You just fucking,” Lance gestured wildly, “and then boom you were on the horse. So fucking cool what the fuck.”

Keith shrugged. “I've been doing this awhile now. You ready?”

“As ready as I'll ever be,” Lance sighed. “Yip yip,” he said shaking the reins.

“No, you just have to—”

“I know I know, I was making a joke jeez,” Lance said.

“Ok follow me,” Keith said leading them through the open gate and out into the open land. “Stay close, I won't go fast I promise.”

“God I was not prepared for the wobble,” Lance said from behind him as they started to move.

“You'll get used to it,” Keith smirked.

---

It took Lance 20 minutes to feel comfortable on the horse, and 30 minutes to get too comfortable.

“I feel like I was probably a cowboy in another life,” Lance said riding jauntily next to Keith. “Like, I'm a fucking natural.”

“You're doing really well, yeah,” Keith smiled proudly.

They had settled down to slow walk after going through the ranch at a comfortable trot. It was a surprisingly nice day for horseback riding, the cool air breezed by them and the winter sun illuminated the grassy land around them. Despite being constantly worried that Lance was going to fall off his horse, Keith actually found himself relaxing and enjoying himself.

“So like,” Lance said after a while, “this is really romantic.”

That caught Keith by surprise. He hadn't exactly thought about it that way but he could see how it could be. “Oh um, thanks?”

Lance laughed. “You're welcome?”

“I didn't intend for this to be as romantic as it is,” Keith said. “Which… sounds bad now that I say that out loud.”

“It's ok, I know what you meant,” Lance said giving him a one shouldered shrug. “But still. Us, riding horses through the countryside, no one around for miles, it's like something out of a drugstore romance book with Fabio on the cover.”

“So this is cheesy romantic then?” Keith smirked.

“I like cheese,” Lance grinned back.

After a while of riding they came across more heavily grassed area with lots of brush. The terrain was a bit more difficult to maneuver through for Lance but Keith guided him through because there was something he wanted to show Lance just a bit further in.

“We're almost there I swear,” Keith said. He could see the clearing not too far off. “I think you'll like what I want to show you.”

“I believe you, it's just that I'm not exactly an equestrian,” Lance said struggling.

“I thought you were a cowboy in another life?” Keith laughed.

“Yeah, in another one. Not in this one,” Lance said.

“Ok we're here,” Keith said as they walked into a more level cleared area.

“Woah,” Lance said coming out from behind him.

Woah was right. Ever since Keith had discovered this part of the ranch when he was younger it had instantly become his favorite place. Surrounded by a ring of high bushes and trees, in the center of a flat wide clearing was a pond. There was something so beautiful about how secluded and simple it was.

“Yeah,” Keith said dismounting his horse. He walked over to Lance to help him off his horse. “Here I got you,” he said raising his arms up to help steady Lance.

“You made that look so easy,” Lance said as he tried to mimic Keith's effortless dismount, but with much less ease. He stumbled as he went to step down, falling backwards into Keith's arms. “Woah, thanks,” he breathed. Lance turned his head back to look at Keith. They were standing pressed up against each other, Keith's arms wrapped around Lance's torso and Lance's back flush against Keith's chest. “Nothing like falling into the arms of a cute boy though am I right?” Lance laughed.

Keith flushed. “Just as good as catching one.”

“Look at you, so smooth today,” Lance smirked standing up on his own and brushing himself off.

Keith went back to his horse, who was lazily grazing next to the other, and grabbed the folded blanket and bag he had attached to the side before they left. “Come on,” Keith said taking Lance's hand.

He led them to the wider point, where there was more flat grassy area to sit on a few yards from the edge of the pond. Keith unfolded the blanket and laid it out on the ground using the bag and a corner weight. He sat down, moving to the side and motioning for Lance to join him. Lance blinked at him for a couple of seconds before sitting down on the blanket next to him.

“So,” Keith began, leaning back on his elbows. “What do you think?” He turned his head to look at Lance who was sitting cross legged next to him.

“Well if I didn't know better I'd say that you're putting the moves on me,” Lance said with a half grin. “Horseback riding, a beautiful secluded location, a picnic blanket. What next? Wine and cheese?”

“No um, I have ice tea and sandwiches actually,” Keith said pulling out a small cooler from the bag. “Hungry?”

“Oh my god,” Lance said in amazement. “Hell yes, gimme that food.”

They ate quietly together, talking softly about nothing and everything all at once. It was so calm and peaceful in their little section of the world— and it was theirs and theirs alone. And they loved it.

After they ate and drank and talked, they laid down on the blanket hand in hand. It was like all time stopped and nothing else mattered outside the sound of the trees and the cool air and the warm hand in their own. It was other worldly peaceful, the kind of peace that only exists in dreams. But here it was. On a December afternoon in Texas. True happiness.

“I didn't think it'd be possible to be this happy,” Lance said softly after a while. A lazy smile formed on Keith's face in agreement. “Like, it's not just happiness it's like… I feel… like all bad is gone. You know? Like I don't even remember what feeling bad feels like right now because I feel so good.” He turned his head to look at Keith. “So happy.”

Keith twisted his head to look at Lance, his eyes taking in the sight of him. He felt a pang in his chest because god he was so in love with this boy .

“Yeah, I feel that,” Keith nodded. And he was smiling because of course he was, how could he not be when Lance was laying next to him and holding his hand and the world felt warmer and the sun felt brighter and his heart felt fuller than he ever thought possible. Because of this boy, this beautiful, amazing, perfect boy lying next to him.

Lance's eyes glanced down at Keith's lips a few times before he leaned in a closed the distance between them. And when he kissed him, Keith wondered if it was possible to die of happiness.

Their lips slid together slow and lazy at first, they were in no hurry, they had all the time in the world. Slowly they both brought their hands up, Lance cradling Keith's cheek with one and holding onto his waist with another, and Keith sliding his hand up to Lance's jaw along his hand and his other hand moving down to the small of Lance's back. Each movement was slow reflecting in the way they kissed.

Eventually, as Keith let Lance lick into his mouth and take control of the kiss, Lance rolled him on his back and moved to straddle him. Having Lance on top of him had to be one of his favorite things in the world. It was infinitely better than any of his imagined scenarios. He made himself remember the sensation of Lance's legs pressed up against his waist, his hand right by his neck, his mouth nipping and licking down his jaw to his neck pulling at his shirt to get to his chest…

“Is this ok?” Lance asked looking up at him from Keith's navel. He didn't even realize Lance had gotten that far down yet, everything was just so warm and good and— “Keith, you ok?” Lance asked lifting his head up a bit more. “We can stop if you want to.”

“No, no, I'm fine,” Keith said earnestly. He leaned up on his elbows and looked down the length of him. Lance was kneeling over his legs, the spit slicked area around Keith's navel where his mouth just was, still shining against his skin. Keith's shirt had been pushed up under his chin as Lance moved his hands along every part of him.

“Ok,” Lance said with a soft smile. “So is it ok if I…?” He gestured downwards.

Keith's eyes followed down to where Lance motioned to his growing bulge in his jeans. Instantly he realized what Lance was asking. “Oh… uh… yeah…yeah yeah of course yes um…yeah”

Lance laughed. “So is that a yes or?”

“It's a yes,” Keith swallowed.

“I know,” Lance breathed, pressing his mouth to Keith's exposed skin right above his waistband. “I was being facetious.”

Keith held his breath as Lance kissed along his skin while undoing the belt on his jeans. The clicking metallic sounds really solidified what was happening. Still leaning up on his elbows, Keith watched Lance undo the button and pull down his zipper on his jeans. Lance dug his fingers under the waistband and tugged his jeans down. Keith lifted his hips up to help but that was about all he could do as he watched Lance pressed his mouth against his dick in his boxer briefs.

He let out a small gasp, mesmerized by the sight of Lance mouthing at him while his hands slid up his chest. Keith held his breath as Lance brought his hand back down, pulling down the waistband until he was free. Slowly, Lance brought his hand to Keith's dick and took it in his hand. Keith watched, barely breathing, as Lance looked up at him making eye contact as he circled his tongue around the head before taking it into his mouth.

Keith tossed his head back, overwhelmed by the feeling of Lance's mouth on him. He dropped his elbows, falling onto his back, trying to control his breathing and Lance took him further and further into his mouth, working what he couldn't reach with his hand. Keith raked a hand down his face and chest, feeling himself grow hotter with each passing second.

Slowly he slid his hand down and slipped his fingers into Lance's hair. Carefully he gripped a handful of hair, tugging slightly. Lance let out a happy hum around his cock that went deep to his core. A raspy moan slipped out of Keith's mouth.

Emboldened by Keith's reaction and the hand tugging at his hair, Lance's hand and mouth sped up, moving faster and with more purpose. Keith raced toward completion, his breathing heavy and short. Lance's bottom fingers lowered to rub at his balls and Keith tugged at Lance's hair.

“Lance— Lance I'm gonna…” Keith's hand fell from Lance's hair and he gripped onto the blanket beneath him.

Lance popped his mouth off with a wet suck, and worked his hand up and down Keith's dick until he was cumming in his hand with a gasping moan. Riding out the aftershocks, Keith's eyes fluttered open, not even realizing that he had closed them.

His eyes met Lance's across the length of him. He was still kneeling over his legs, his mouth red and slick with spit, curled in a lopsided grin. His hair was completely mussed from Keith pulling at it and Keith could see a bulge still straining in his jeans.

“What?” Keith breathed.

“That was so hot,” Lance said, his voice surprisingly rough. Keith couldn't help the smile that grew on his face. “God I wish you could've have seen the way you looked. And when you put a hand in my hair and pulled, ugh. I'm surprised I haven't cum yet.”

Keith let out a low laugh. “Yeah that was… really good.”

“Just really good?” Lance smirked.

“Ok well I came didn't I?” Keith laughed.

“That's true,” Lance said, wiping his hand off on the grass.

Keith finally found the feeling back in his limbs and tucked himself back into his briefs and pulled his jeans back up. “What about you?” He asked redoing his belt.

“Oh um,” Lance sat back on his heels, glancing down at his own still hard dick in his jeans. “It's ok you don't have to—”

“I want to,” Keith said sitting up. “If that's ok?”

Lance let out a shaky chuckle. “Is it ok?— yes it's very much ok. Like it's very, very ok.”

“Ok,” Keith said with a small laugh. “Um so…” he looked at Lance for guidance. “How do I… I've just never… done this… before.”

“Hey,” Lance said softly, leaning in and kissing him. “There's no pressure. Don't be so nervous. It's just me.”

“Just you,” Keith huffed a half laugh. “I'm always nervous around you. You make me more nervous than anything.” He saw Lance's smile falter for a second. “It's a good nervous.”

“You make me good nervous too,” Lance smiled. He kissed him again and Keith felt himself relax against him.

Maybe it was because he was feeling warm happy, or that Lance was being so open, or because he was still feeling good after having cum, but Keith decided he was going to take some control. He brought his hands up, holding the nape of Lance's neck with one hand and the small of his back with the other, and he maneuvered him until Lance was laying down on the blanket beneath him. He could feel Lance gasp underneath him as he slowly moved his hand down Lance's chest, down to his groin where he rubbed him through his jeans.

“Keith—Keith I'm not gonna last long,” Lance gasped, moving his hips in time with Keith's hand. “Please, I want your mouth.”

Keith pressed one last kiss to his lips before moving down to where his hand was still on Lance. Nerves shaking his fingers, Keith undid the button and zipper on Lance's jeans as confidently as he could. He carefully pulled his jeans and underwear down in one move, Lance's dick springing free from its confines.

It was hard not to compare them when he was face to face with Lance's dick. It was darker than his own, but so was all of Lance's skin. Lance's dick was a bit longer but thinner, with a trimmed patch of wiry dark hair at the base. Keith had seen it before in pictures and occasionally during a particularly good skype session, but seeing it up close was a whole new world.

“You studying my dick?” Lance asked jokingly leaning up to look down his body at Keith.

Not ready to relinquish control of the situation just yet, Keith looked Lance in the eye as his mouth sank on his dick. The reaction was immediate. Lance tossed his head back with a choked out swear, dropping back down onto the ground. His hands scraped at the blanket, looking for purchase while his body squirmed.

Keith slowly brought his mouth up, trying to mimic what Lance had done for him. Remembering to cover his teeth with his lips, Keith carefully bobbed his mouth on Lance’s cock, using his hand for the base, twisting slightly in opposite directions. He tried to do what he knew he liked for himself, using his other hand to dip under Lance’s hoodie and shirt and rub at his nipples. Lance let out a breathy gasp, writhing underneath him.

He knew it wasn’t perhaps the best blowjob ever, but he was going to make up for skill with enthusiasm. Lance seemed to be responding well, having become a squirming, moaning mess under Keith’s hands. He was letting out a stream of half slurred half moaned words that Keith was barely paying attention to. He could only focus on the velvety dick in his mouth.

“Keith—fuck I’m—I’m gonna cum Keith, I’m gonna cum,” Lance moaned from above him. HIs hands weakly grasped at Keith’s hair. “Babe, I’m—”

Keith pulled his mouth off just as Lance came, getting most of it on his hand but a bit landed on his nose and mouth. Lance whimpered as Keith continued to work him through it, his hand sliding out of Keith’s hair and down to his stomach. Keith just watched the scene play out below him, committing it to memory for later.

“Fuck,” Lance breathed after a moment.

“You ok?” Keith said, also wiping his hand off in the grass, looking for a napkin to clean his face.

“Yeah I’m… fucking fantastic,” Lane laughed. He leaned up and looked at Keith. “Oh shit I came on your face.”

“It’s ok,” Keith said wiping the drying cum off himself.

“Fuck, I'm sorry,” Lance said tucking himself back into his pants.

“Lance it's totally ok,” Keith said with a laugh. Lance finished putting his pants back and quickly crawled over and kissed him hard. Hard enough he almost knocked them both backwards. After a couple seconds Keith managed to move him to speak. “What was that for?” he asked.

“Because you're so fucking…” Lance shook his head like he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say, “I just really love you.”

“I love you too,” Keith said softly.

Chapter 4: That One Fluff Chapter

Notes:

!! I had a bit of free time and wifi and here i am with a vacation update!!!!

“Hey you guys were gone a while, what'd you guys get up to?” Shiro asked innocently as they walked into the house. He was sat on the kitchen counter eating what smelled to be a bowl of chilli, nonchalantly looking between them.

They both froze in the doorway. Lance and Keith exchanged looks having a silent panicked conversation. “Uh,” Keith said watching Lance's face grow red as he hide a smile. “We were uh… nothing.”

“Oh so that's what you guys were doing,” Shiro smirked with raised eyebrows, nodding in understanding as he took a large spoonful of food into his mouth. “No wonder you guys were gone so long.”

“I'm gonna go shower now,” Lance said, clearly trying to leave the awkwardness as fast as possible. Keith gave him a mutinous look as Lance walked away mouthing “sorry” at him and blowing him a kiss. Leaving Keith sanding alone and awkward.

“So…” Shiro smirked at him.

Keith walked into the kitchen passed him, ignoring his far too smug and knowing face. “Yes?” He said grabbing two bowls from the cabinet.

“You and Lance were out there a long time,” Shiro said knowingly. He stirred his chilli swirling the dollop of sour cream around. “I'm guessing you guys finally had s—”

Keith closed the cabinet with a loud slam. “What is it about this kitchen that makes people think that I want to talk about my sex life?”

“Who else was talking to you about your—” Shiro stifled a laugh, “— sex life with?”

Keith sighed heavily. “My dad.” Shiro laughed so hard he almost dropped his bowl on the floor. Keith turned to glare at Shiro. “It's not funny, it was humiliating.”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Shiro laughed, putting aside his bowl. “That's just so funny.” Keith continued to glare at him although watching Shiro laugh was contagious and he could feel a smile pull at the side of his mouth.

“Are you done now?” Keith smirked.

“Almost,” Shiro said trying to compose himself. He breathed, fanning himself dramatically. “Ok I'm ok. I'm done now.” Shiro bit down his smile, controlling his need to laugh. “Ok but in all seriousness, did you and Lance…?”

Keith felt his soul leave his body for the second time today. “Not… exactly…” he swallowed, not wanting to let on how excruciatingly embarrassing this entire conversation was.

“You know we can talk about this sort of stuff,” Shiro said reaching over and placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder comfortingly. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“I’m not,” Keith said too quickly, and nowhere near convincing enough. Shiro looked at him doubtfully. “Ok you’re right,” he sighed. He glanced around the walls of the kitchen to make sure no one else was around them and he could speak freely. When he was certain they were alone he sighed again and turned back to Shiro. “We didn’t have like… sex sex… we just had… like…”

“Oral sex?” Shiro completed for him.

“God it’s so much worse when you say it like that,” Keith frowned in distaste.

“Blowjobs?” Shiro said instead.

“Worse,” Keith shook his head waving away the words from the air.

“Playing the skin flute?”

“What on earth— please stop suggesting words. In fact, stop talking,” Keith said looking away uncomfortably. “Just don’t even speak again.”

Shiro laughed, picking up his bowl to continue eating. “So you and Lance dabbled in fellatio, mhm continue.”

Keith didn’t think it was possible to sigh any harder. “And that’s it. That’s all that happened.” He began ladling chilli into one of the two bowls. He could practically hear Shiro thinking behind him. “Just say whatever you have to say already.”

“I’m not saying anything,” Shiro shook his head. “I’m just glad that you’re, you know, comfortable enough with someone to… explore that part of your life.” Keith turned around and eyed Shiro warily. Shiro just smiled back. “Also you’re gonna need condoms.”

“Oh my god, stop talking,” Keith said turning back to the food.

“What? You need to be prepared Keith. Plus you have to be safe, and they are good for clean up afterwards,” Shiro continued.

“I literally never want to talk about this ever again,” Keith said shaking his head. “Also? Go home.”

“Nope,” Shiro said sliding off the counter and jumping down to the floor. “Ulaz is gonna adjust the fit on my prosthetic again when he comes home from the hospital, so I’m sticking around for a while.” He finished the last few bites of his food quickly before putting the empty bowl in the sink. “Plus Thace made chilli. How could I go home on chilli night?” he said covering his mouth with his prosthetic hand as he chewed.

“You’re a moocher,” Keith said opening the fridge and grabbing the sour cream and grated cheese.  

“I’m an employee,” Shiro corrected with a smirk. “Speaking of which I gotta go feed the horses. I’ll see you later.” Keith waved at him as he dolloped sour cream in his bowl. “Oh wait I almost forgot,” Shiro said popping his head back into the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Matt’s having a shindig at the good bar tomorrow. It’s his like, last hoorah before Tokyo and you and Lance are welcome to stop by if you want.”

“Ok,” Keith nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell Lance.”

“Cool, see ya’.”

“Bye,” Keith said turning back to his food.

He scattered some grated cheese on top of his bowl and plunked himself on top of the counter to eat and wait for Lance to finish with his shower. By the time he was just about scraping the bottom of the bowl, he heard his bedroom door opening and Lance walking over.

“Hey,” Lance smiled walking over to him, his hair still very damp from his shower. He leaned up and kissed him, and Keith could smell the citrusy shampoo Lance used and he could feel the warmth of his clean soft skin against his cheek. Memories of earlier that day floated through his mind as he nosed against Lance’s cheek. Lance pulled back and looked down, “that smells good, can I have some?” he asked motioning down to the bowl in Keith’s hands.

“Sure, I left a bowl out for you, and there’s sour cream and cheese if you want some,” Keith said gesturing with his spoon at the counter next to the stove.

“Thanks,” Lance said opening the pot and ladling out some into the bowl for himself. “So,” he began slowly, “what did Shiro say?”

Keith swallowed the last bit of food, feeling it stick in his throat. “What do you mean?”

“Keith,” Lance tisked at him. He put the lid back on the pot and grabbed the sour cream. “I’m not an idiot, I know you guys talked about…” he paused for a delicate way to phrase what he wanted to say, “... what we did.”

Feeling nervous and weirdly embarrassed, Keith watched Lance spoon sour cream into his bowl in silence. He didn’t want to lie to Lance but admitting that he was talking about their sexual activities, even just to his best friend, was too much for him to handle. He settled for avoidance. “No he was just telling me about some get together at a bar tomorrow. That we’re invited and stuff.”

“Oh?” Lance said with a nod. He sprinkled a copious amount of cheese on his bowl. “Sounds fun. I haven’t gotten properly drunk in a while. And getting drunk with you could be fun.”
“Uh,” Keith looked at him apprehensively.

“You have gotten drunk before right?” Lance said.

“Not, exactly no,” Keith shook his head.“Not like drunk drunk.”

“Keith, babe, what the fuck,” Lance said incredulously. “Well now that settles it, we have to get wasted.”

“Ok,” Keith laughed. “Sure.”

“What is it with the people in this house and sitting on my counters?” Thace admonished as he walked into the kitchen, covered in chicken feathers and dirt. “Chairs were invented for a reason. For your butt,” he waved a dirt covered hand at Keith until he jumped down onto the floor. “First Shiro, now you,” he shook his head as he washed his hands in the large farmhouse sink. He turned his head to Lance to the right of him. “You’ve gotta set the example ok Lance? No sitting on the counters. And tell me when one of these bozo’s plants their money makers on the granite.”

“Absolutely,” Lance nodded with a smirk.
“Be my eyes and ears,” Thace continued. “I’m counting on you Mr. Espinosa. This is high level espionage. Are you with me?” he turned off the faucet and dried his hand on a kitchen towel.

“I’m with you sir,” Lance nodded earnestly.

“Good,” Thace grinned. He pointed a clean finger at Keith as he walked out of the kitchen. “Ass off the counter and in a chair like a good human boy.”

“Where would a good alien boy sit?” Keith asked as his Thace walked away.

“Still in a chair, nice try,” Thace called out to him.  

“You're lucky your dad is so nice,” Lance said taking a bite of food. “If my mom caught me sitting on the counters she might actually glue my butt to a chair. With real glue. On my real butt.”

“Yeah he's all talk,” Keith said waving a dismissive hand in the direction Thace walked away in. “Once I saw him sitting on the counter while my other dad was talking to him.”

“Aww, like in a sweet romantic way?”

Keith made a face. “Yeah I guess so.”

“Are you still one of those people who don't like to see their parents be mushy with each other?” Lance asked with a laugh.

“I don't like seeing anyone being mushy,” Keith said with distaste.

Lance seemed to find that amusing. “But not me right?” He took another bite of food, smirking knowingly at him.

“Not you,” Keith gave in, smiling softly at him.  

---

 

Despite not liking seeing other people acting romantically, somehow it didn't feel as gross when it when it involved him. Which Keith knew was totally hypocritical and ridiculous but that didn't really matter when Lance had his arm around his shoulder as they watched tv, or placed his hand on his lower back, or even just nonchalantly called him a pet name. Because things were different when they were with Lance.

Even just small things were different. Like doing the dishes at the end of the night. Or scrolling through Netflix to pick a movie to watch. Even getting just sitting around doing nothing was better somehow, just because Lance was there.

“How many creams and lotions and… what is a gel mask?” Keith said eyeing his bathroom sink counter that has now been covered entirely by what seemed like a Sephora full of products.

“It's like a mud mask but it's a gel,” Lance said slipping the orange bottle out of Keith's hands and putting it back down on the counter. He went back to scrubbing his face with what Keith thought he described as a grapefruit rub. “It's a scrub ,” Lance corrected, getting the pebbly looking soap under his nostrils. “It's an exfoliant.”

“Does that mean it scrubs off the dead skin cell layer?” Keith asked, leaning back against the wall and watching Lance in the mirror.

Lance paused and looked at him in surprise through the mirror. “So you do listen to me.”

“Occasionally,” Keith shrugged. He leaned over and picked up another bottle, a smaller one that unscrewed into a point. “What's this one?”

“That's an acne spot treatment,” Lance said rinsing his hands off. “So like if you get a zit you put that on it like twice a day it clears it right up.”

“And this one?” Keith said putting down that bottle and picking up a long pink tube with a circular lid.

“Hold on,” Lance said as he lowered his face into the sink and splashed himself with warm water until all the grainy scrub had rinsed off. “Ok which one?” he asked, rubbing his face clean with a hand towel. Keith showed him the tube. “Oh that's a night moisturizer.”

“Wait there's ones specifically for night and daytime?” Keith asked looking confusedly at the tube.

“Uh yeah?” Lance scoffed, like it was obvious. “Daytime moisturizers have SPF in them.”

“Do they really? Huh,” Keith said with surprise.

“Now I'm really worried about the vast void in your knowledge of proper skin care,” Lance frowned at him. He looked around the bathroom, eyes moving from counter to shelf. “You know what, how did I not notice before that you have literally no face scrubs or masks or cleansers.”

“Sorry?”

“When was the last time you even used a Biore strip?” Lance asked.

“A what?” Keith said confused.

“Oh my god, I need to do some over correcting right now,” he said walking out of the bathroom and back into Keith's bedroom, leaving him confused and apprehensive. A few moments later, Lance returned with even more bottles and boxes. “Ok welcome to Lance's Skin Care Crash Course.” He dropped all the bottles and boxes on the sink counter. “Let's get started.”

“Woah woah woah,” Keith said dodged Lance's hands that went right for his face. “You can't just start rubbing shit on my face.”

“I promise to explain everything I'm doing and that you'll thank me later for it when your skin is velvety smooth and clean and clear and under control.”

“Isn't that a tag line for something?” Keith asked.

“See, you know more than you think you do,” Lance said clearing a space on the sink counter. “Sit,” he said patting the empty space.

“I thought you were supposed to keep me from doing exactly this,” Keith smirked, hoisting himself up backwards to sit on the counter. “My dad is gonna be mad at you if he sees you're letting me sit here.”

“Your dad's not here,” Lance grinned smugly. “Ok first, let's get your hair out of the way.”

Keith leaned over the sink and grabbed a scrunchy from a small dish where he kept them. He easily pulled his hair back into a ponytail, a few wayward strands falling in front of his face. “Is this good?”

Lance smiled warmly at him, just looking at him for a few moments. “Yeah it's good.”

Feeling himself flush, Keith tried to play off his blush with an eye roll, but he knew Lance saw right through that. “So now what?” he asked, looking over at the array of tubes and jars and bottles and boxes that Lance had laid out along the sink.

“We're gonna wash your face,” Lance said selecting a pale green tube. “This is a cleanser foaming wash, and it'll tingle a little bit but that just means it's working.” He handed Keith a damp towel to wipe his face down first. Then he opened the tube, pushed out some of the clear soap into his hand, and lathered it between his palms before he began applying it to Keith's face.

“I didn't know soap was supposed to tingle,” Keith said as Lance lathered his face up. “It feels like you're rubbing mint on my face.”

“That's because there's mint in it,” Lance said with a half smile. He made a show of painting a smiley face on Keith's cheek with soap. “Ok, now rinse your face.”

“That was quick,” Keith said jumping down and bending over into the sink to wash his face.

“That's just step one.”

Keith groaned and turned off the faucet.

Surprisingly, Lance’s Skin Care Crash Course wasn't as bad as Keith thought it was gonna be. Sure it was lots of rubbing different smelling and occasionally weird textured liquids on his face and rinsing them off with varying application times, but it was ok.

Of course, it was entirely possible that Keith thought it was ok because it was Lance devoting his undivided attention to him, but that probably wasn't it. Maybe a bit. Perhaps more than a bit.

Keith knew he was head over heels for Lance, so sue him for enjoying Lance touching his face and tucking his hair behind his ears and complimenting him. It was a kind of care and attention that he couldn't get over the phone or skype or text or any way that wasn't person like this. And he was relishing every second of it.

“Ok I'm gonna do this last one with you,” Lance said picking up a thick pinkish tube and squeezing out a thick muddy gray paste onto his hand.

“What the hell is that?” Keith asked furrowing his brow at it.

“A strawberry and yarrow mud mask,” Lance said. “Here, gimme your hand.”

“You're not gonna do this for me this time?” Keith smirked, holding out his palm for Lance to squeeze out the mud mask onto it.

“You're a big boy,” Lance said. “I think you can figure it out.”

“We'll see,” Keith said standing next to Lance in the mirror.

He waited until he watched Lance start to apply it to his own face, smearing it down the bridge of his nose first, then under his eyes, then his forehead and chin, and then rubbing the rest on his palms and spreading it on his cheeks. Keith tried his best to mimic that, with mixed results. At several points he got the paste either in his eye or in his mouth, swearing as he had to quickly wash it out. But once he had his entire face covered he looked at Lance for what to do next.

“We let it dry for a few minutes and then wash it off,” Lance said. “Here come on,” he took Keith's hand and led his out of the bathroom and into Keith's bedroom. “This takes like ten minutes, and I wanna be comfortable.” He dropped onto the bed, sitting cross legged.

“It makes my face feel weird,” Keith said following Lance and sitting on the bed across from him.

“Its supposed to, and when it's dry it'll feel really tight,” Lance explained. “Beauty is pain,” he added when Keith frowned at him.

“I don't think I want to be beautiful then,” Keith joked.

“It's too late, you already are,” Lance grinned.

“Shut up,” Keith said gently shoving Lance's shoulder.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Can I come in? Is everyone decent?” Thace asked from behind the bedroom door.

“Oh my god dad,” Keith said embarrassed that he would even ask. “Of course we're decent.”

The door opened up, and Thace who was looking at them with an apprehensive smile, looked between the two of them. “Am I interrupting a spa session?”

“Lance has been indoctrinating me in the ways of excessive skin care,” Keith said. “We've been at this for an hour.”

“Don't exaggerate,” Lance said clicking his teeth at him. “It's probably only been 40 minutes.”

“My bad, only 40 minutes,” Keith corrected indicating that that length of time wasn’t any better.

“Well however long it takes I’m sure the end result will be worth it,” Thace said amused.

“Thanks,” Keith said dryly. “So what'd you come over here for?”

“Oh, that your father and I are heading out for a while and we'll be back in a few hours.”

“Oh, ok,” Keith nodded. “Where are y'all going?”

“Just headed into San Angelo for dinner and a movie. We can't all take five hour horseback riding dates on the ranch,” Thace said with a knowing look that made Keith want to die. “But we'll be back late, don't wait up.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Keith said, actually glad for the mask so that no one could see he was violently blushing. “‘Night dad.”

“‘Night kiddo. Good night Lance,” Thace said just as he closed the door.

As soon as the door closed Keith tossed himself backwards on the bed with groan. “He knows.”

“Knows what?” Lance laughed, moving to hover over him.

“He just knows. In general,” Keith continued groaning.

“That we're together? That we went on a date? That we're probably gonna kiss a bunch while he's gone?” Lance listed off with a grin.

“He tried to give me the sex talk earlier today,” Keith said with distaste.

“Um…”

Keith wanted to cover his face so badly but he was still wearing the mud mask. He did the next best thing and closed his eyes. “Yeah exactly. And he probably thinks we're gonna have sex while he's gone.”

There was an audible silence.

“... are we not?”

Keith's eyes snapped open and looked at Lance still hovering above him looking nervous but hopeful. “Did… did you want to?”

“We don't have to,” Lance said quickly. “I'm perfectly fine with not. I just thought, well, since this is probably the best opportunity you’d want to…”

“I don't have condoms,” Keith blurted out. Lance just looked down at him blankly. “I mean we—we can get some I just don't have any… right now.”

“Yeah… yeah that's fine, I'm not worried about it,” Lance said with a nervous laugh. “Look Keith, I didn't come here specifically to have sex with you, I came here to be with you, whatever we want to make that mean. There's no pressure.”

Lance was so kind and understanding, and it made Keith feel guilty for being insecure and nervous. “So—so is it ok if we… don't? At—at least not right now?”

“Yeah of course,” Lance said with soft smile. “I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything. Except love me and kiss me and think I'm the best thing on two legs of course.”

“Of course,” Keith said, glad Lance was able to defuse the mood a little bit, but still feeling that anxiety bundled up inside him. “Can we go wash this shit off our face now?”

“Yes please, we look ridiculous,” Lance laughed getting off the bed. He held out a hand for Keith, and Keith took it and followed him into the bathroom.

Chapter 5: I don't even have anything funny to say I just think Lance is such a good boyfriend

Notes:

i mean you all knew the angst was coming right?

When Keith awoke the next morning he got out of bed and ready for his morning run as quickly as possible. Completely dressed, he stood in the doorway and looked back at Lance still asleep in his bed. For a brief moment he considered going over and pressing a kiss to his forehead, but decided against it.

He was still feeling the awkwardness from the night before. Keith knew he shouldn't, that he should just shake it off, but he couldn't shake the feeling of being inadequate. It was hard to explain how exactly that feeling had settled in him as the night wore on but now, in the fresh light of the early morning, that was the only way he could frame his emotions. Inadequate.

Keith put his earbuds in, grateful for his dads’ routine of sleeping in a little on the weekends so he didn't have to talk to anyone as he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and set out on his morning run. The morning was colder than he expected but as soon as he started moving he felt the chill brush past him, his body filling with hot energy.

In his mind he kept going over the night before, how awkward and uncomfortable he was. He couldn't stop thinking about how Lance thought they were going to have sex, and so everything else that they did just seemed to highlight and underline the fact that they most definitely were not doing that. It was all he could think about and more importantly, it was all he assumed Lance could think about.

Keith started to run faster as he remembered how he was so blatantly awkward. Like when they sat in the living room watching a movie, Keith could feel his whole body stiffen and freeze uncomfortably when Lance leaned into his side and moved his arm to be around his shoulders. Or how he was unable to give more than a few word answers to Lance's attempts at conversation. And how as the night wore on, and it got later and later, Keith felt like their lack of any sort of sexual contact got more and more pronounced.

He couldn't stop himself from feeling like Lance was disappointed even though he had told him there was no pressure. There was no way Lance really believed that. He'd flown out hundreds of miles to be here. They'd talked about having sex. Keith himself wanted it so badly. He’d even practically told Lance that he was looking forward to doing it when he came here. But when faced with an opportunity that practically fell into his lap with a willing and eager partner, Keith was… afraid.

No longer abiding by his usual route, Keith ran even faster. He was running and not looking and just going as fast as he could away from the house that held Lance and his fears and his problems. He ran and he didn't look back.

By the time he decided to pause for a breather Keith realized he'd been running for twice as long as he normally does. He drank from his water, sitting down on a fallen tree to catch his breath. Keith ran his hand down his face, in the back of his mind feeling how noticeable smoother his skin was from the battery of products he’d used the night before. It reminded him of Lance. That made him smile.

Keith knew Lance was trying his hardest with him, and that he could be hard to deal with. He often wondered why Lance even bothered; it wasn't like Keith was providing anything Lance couldn't easily find in New York— unless you were to count heart wrenching separation, then Keith was definitely supplying that by the boatload.

But everything else, anything that would be considered relationship fundamentals, anyone could do that a thousand times better than Keith could and do it where Lance could see them all the time. He knew he wasn't good at expressing himself or being open with Lance, no matter how much he promised or tried to be. He barely ever could be genuine and candid about how much he cares for Lance without getting flustered. And with so little experience, he knew that whatever he tried to do with riddled with mistakes and awkwardness.

He couldn't fault himself for trying, because he was trying. Wanting to be with Lance made him push himself so far out of his comfort zone sometimes he even wondered why he’d stayed there for so long. Being with Lance was like going out on an adventure and staying safe at home all wrapped up in one beautiful human being.

But, there's no way Lance felt that way about him. Keith felt horrible for having all these doubts, especially since Lance had come all this way to see him, but it felt like because Lance had come all this way he was finally seeing how just not worth the effort Keith was. Keith was afraid and uncertain and noncommittal and awkward and inexperienced. Why would anyone travel hundreds of miles for that? Keith just couldn't understand it.

Draining the rest of the bottle, Keith turned around and started his run home.

---

 

When Keith walked through the door, he was surprised to see Lance sitting in the living room, drinking coffee with both Thace and Ulaz. They didn't seem to notice him walk in as they chatted.

“—and so afterward he had a bunch of loose strings hanging out of his mouth and we had to take him to the orthodontist to get everything out of his braces,” Thace said with soft laugh.

“That's amazing, oh my god please tell me you guys have pictures?” Lance said with a huge grin.

“There's a video,” Ulaz said with a smile smile. “I believe it's somewhere in my google drive.”

“I have to see it,” Lance grinned. “I absolutely have to. I didn't even know he had braces when he was in middle school.”

“It’s a year he wants to pretend didn’t happen. He didn’t even take his school picture that year, he faked being sick,” Thace said with a nostalgic smile. “On Picture day and make up picture day.”

“I didn’t fake, I really was sick,” Keith said, deciding to interrupt what was clearly a Keith Gossiping session.

“Oh you’re back,” Thace said setting his mug on the coffee table. “We were just talking to Lance here about you when you were younger.”

“Yeah, your dads’ told me a bunch of really awesome stories about little kid Keith,” Lance smiled, tucking his legs underneath him on the couch. “And preteen Keith. And Teenage Keith. Why did you never tell me you had a legitimate goth phase?”

Keith looked dryly between Lance and his parents. “I’m going to take a shower now.” He walked towards his room and he could hear the three of them returning to their conversation, Lance asking for more embarassing stories about Keith, and Thace being way too excited to provide them.

He closed his bedroom door behind him and began shedding his clothes, placing them over his desk chair. The fatigue of running those extra miles hit him all at once and he could tell he was going to regret that later. But at the moment the only thing on his mind was a hot shower.

However as soon as the hot water hit his back, and the rivulets of water cascades down his arms and legs, his thoughts drifted back to Lance. Nice, caring, loving Lance who had come all this way to be with Keith. And of course this was the moment he had chosen to feel insecure.

It was stupid and he knew it. He should just talk to Lance, tell him that the whole prospect made him nervous and he was freezing up with fear. Keith knew that he was so worried about being everything Lance wanted and making him happy and not regretful of him, that he was going to fuck everything up in the process. The thought of looking Lance in the eye and saying something that would disappoint and upset him burned icy cold inside him.

Keith finished his shower quickly, doing mostly everything completely on autopilot as his mind was elsewhere. Turning off the shower head, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel and drying himself off. He pulled on his underwear before stepping out into his room, surprised to find Lance sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Oh that was fast,” Lance said looking up from his phone as Keith walked in. Keith gave him a sort of noncommittal shrug as he pulled clothes out of his closet and began to dress. “Your parents are awesome by the way,” Lance said with a smile. “They're just super chill and super nice. I like them a lot.”

“I'm glad,” Keith said, jumping lightly to pull up his jeans.

“They told me lots of stories about you,” Lance said crossing his legs under him on the bed.

“So you said,” Keith said zipping and buttoning up his jeans.

“Thace even promised to find the photo albums of when you were little to show me later,” Lance grinned excitedly. “You know, like all the classic “parents of the boyfriend” stuff.”

“I'll take your word for it,” Keith said pulling on a white t–shirt. He looked up at Lance to see him watching him with an expression he couldn’t quite place.

Keith watched a weird look flicker across Lance’s face. “Hey are you ok?” Lance asked.

He felt a small pang in his chest. Of course his weird mood had permeated into the air and was souring what should have been a totally normal, not hostile interaction. “Yeah I'm fine,” Keith nodded, making sure to sound honest.

“Ok,” Lance said seeming appeased for the moment. “So what's the plan for today? Any more horses that need riding?” he grinned up at Keith.

“Not exactly,” Keith said stuffing his phone into his jean pocket. “I actually have a few errands to run, work stuff, gets some car parts I ordered, things like that.”

“Can… can I come with you?” Lance asked like he wasn’t sure if that was Keith’s way of telling him he wanted to be on his own for the day.

“Sure,” Keith nodded. “It’s not going to be super fun, but I think I can get everything done in a few hours. It’ll probably be kind of boring to be honest.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me already?” Lance teased with a grin, by through was an edge to his voice that Keith didn’t miss; one that was masking a real concern with a joke.

Shoving down whatever inconsequential insecurities he was feeling at the moment, Keith let his face fall into a soft smile. “Never.”

---

 

“Jeez, does anyone in this hell state own a regular human sized car?” Lance said as he grabbed the handle on the inside of the passenger side of the trunk and hoisted himself up and inside. “I know everything's bigger in Texas but honestly this is ridiculous.”

“Not everyone can have a tiny Ford Fiesta,” Keith said getting into the driver’s seat.

“You mean not everyone can be practical, yeah I understand that,” Lance said closing the truck door. “But seriously, every car I’ve been in and seen this week has been a truck.”

“We like our trucks,” Keith shrugged, turning on the engine. “This one is actually my dad Ulaz’s, he drives this to the hospital.” He put his hand on the back of Lance's seat, looked out the rear windshield, and reversed out from between the other truck and tree where he was parked, and then in one fluid motion, twisted the truck and put it in drive and began the drive out down the ranch’s road.

“Damn you're so smooth,” Lance said watching him easily maneuver the truck. “How do you do everything so confidently? I would have been there for like 5 minutes trying to back out.”

“Practice.”

“Also you have no witnesses. That's why I hate parallel parking and why I never do it. The witnesses.”

That made Keith laugh. “I saw you parallel park back in New York, what are you talking about?”

“Yeah, and I was terrified the whole time—slash—trying to look cool in front of you,” Lance said with a grin.

“You we're trying to impress me with your parallel parking abilities?” Keith said with a smirk, glancing at Lance. “I don't see how that would have had any effect on me whatsoever.”

“Really?” Lance said gesturing between them. “We're dating now so? Who's the real relationship genius here?”

“Oh yeah you totally got me with your parallel parking skills,” Keith said sarcastically.

“As long as we're on the same page,” Lance smirked.

They fell into a quiet lull for a few minutes as Keith drove through the road that led through to the ranch house and out onto the main road. He could tell that for Lance it was a calm, companionable silence that didn't bring any sort of anxiety. But of course it didn't feel that way to Keith.

He'd been able to taste his nerves in his mouth all morning. Through breakfast, while Lance got ready to go out, and even now as they drove into town, Keith could taste the bitterness of anxiety in his mouth tainting all his words. It didn't help that Lance kept giving him this look, one that said he knew something was wrong but he wasn't sure how to ask.

And Keith wouldn't even be sure how to answer that question if Lance asked him. Because there was nothing wrong, not really. It was all in his head, and he knew that. But at the same time he couldn't help but wonder if Lance did have some expectations of him that he wasn't meeting.

Keith glanced at Lance in the passenger seat. He was sitting with his chair leaning back, his head back looking out the open window as the wind whipped through his hair. His hand laid gently in the middle between their seats and Keith felt an urge to hold it. He looked between Lance and the hand quickly. What was he stressing over? This was his boyfriend not some random guy. If he wanted to hold his hand he would hold his damn hand.

Swallowing down the feeling that he was overreaching, Keith moved his left hand to the top of the wheel and moved his right hand to the middle and slowly threaded his fingers through Lance’s, taking his hand in his. The reaction was immediate. He quickly looked back out the windshield but in his periphery he saw Lance turn his head to look at him, a small smile on his face. He felt Lance lightly squeeze his hand before settling back in his seat.

Reaching over and holding Lance’s hand did make him feel better, like he’d crossed some rubicon that had formed the night before. As he drove, he kept a hold of Lance's hand, enjoying the warmth and weight of it. Every so often he glanced at Lance; the mid morning sun fell on his face through the open window, covering his features in pale warm light. Keith had to pull his eyes away from him, afraid he was gonna crash the car because he was just staring at Lance too long.

“Where are we going first?” Lance asked after awhile of quiet driving, his thumb drawing a tender line up and down Keith's thumb.

“I need to go to the auto parts store and pick up a few parts that I had ordered,” Keith said. “I hate going there but I also hate having them delivered to my house because people get lost trying to get there. It's easier if I just go get it myself.”

“What kind of parts? Like for your hot rod?” Lance joked with moving his eyebrows up and down. “Which I've still yet to see, and I'm very disappointed.”

Keith glanced at him from the side of his eye. “If you mean my motorcycle then yes, one is for my motorcycle, the others are for a car I'm working on.”

“You're building a car!?” Lance asked excitedly.

“I'm fixing a car,” Keith corrected. “It's a neighbor’s car and they asked me to do a couple things to it.”

“Do you do that a lot?” Lance asked sounding genuinely curious. “Fix people's cars for them?”

“Yeah kinda,” Keith shrugged. He pulled to a stop at the first stoplight at the edge of town. “The mechanic in town is sort of… well, he’s an asshole. Like he would over charge, not do things right, take forever to make repairs, and was just an all around dick. And I've always been good with my hands. Plus I built my own motorcycle and I guess word got around. So people bring me their cars and I fix them.” He looked over at Lance who was staring at him with a half grin on his face. “What?”

“You're like… a really good person,” Lance said in a slightly awed voice.

“What?” Keith said caught off guard.

“You, you’re a really good person,” Lance repeated. “You just… play it off as this whatever kind of thing like “oh yeah I fix people’s cars” like anyone could do that.”

“Well I mean, anyone could, if they knew enough about the mechanics,” Keith said with a small shrug.  

“Ok but how many people do?” Lance said. “How many people take the time to fix people’s cars and go get parts and make sure everything is done right? Not many.”

Keith squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. Luckily for him the light changed and he no longer had to look at Lance and stare at the soft expression he was giving him. “It’s not like I do it for free,” Keith mumbled as he drove forward.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t expect you to. Never do anything that you do well for free,” Lance said. “But still, you’re a good person.”

“Thanks,” Keith said feeling embarrassed. As he drove through the main streets of the town, Keith wanted to pull his hand out of Lance's grasp so badly but he waited until he pulled into the parking lot of the auto parts store to take his hand out of Lance's. “Ok, we're here. I'll only be a few minutes,” he said turning off the truck and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Can I come with you?” Lance asked reaching for his seatbelt.

“Y-yeah,” Keith said. He glanced out the side mirrors; the lot was mostly empty and there was only two other trucks parked around them. The store would most likely be empty. And with any luck the only person they’d have to talk to would be the store clerk behind the counter; though he’s horrible at best, it would most likely be a short conversation. “Sure,” Keith said against his better judgement, “come on.”

The both of them got out of the truck and walked over to the front entrance of the store. As they crossed through the automatic doors into the bright linoleum lined shop, Keith felt Lance's hand casually move to hold his own, but Keith slipped his hands into his front pockets before Lance could hold him.

The two of them walked up to the counter, where a short portly man whose face was more pink than it was white sat asleep in a chair behind the counter. Keith and Lance exchanged looked before Keith reached over and tapped the bell on the top of the counter. The resounding ding startled the man awake and almost out of his chair.

“Yes—yes I'm awake!” he said, jumping himself awake. He ran a pudgy hand over his bearded face, wiping away the glob of drool that had accumulated at the corner of his mouth. He hopped out of his chair, and took two shuffling steps over to the counter, making a point to move the bell far from Keith's hand. “I see that bell’s working again… damn I thought I got rid of the dinger for sure.”

“No it works,” Keith said leaning his forearm on the counter. “But I see you still got your midday nap in.”

“Well you know I like to live in a bit of luxury. Nap here, a beer there, sometimes a nice combination of the two,” the man said, haughtily adjusting the straps of his overalls and thumbing a worn and motor oil stained name tag that read “P.Rovok” in faded ink. “So, what can I do you for? Besides disrupting my beauty sleep that is.”

“I'm here to pick up some orders actually,” Keith said curtly, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. He opened up his email and pulled up the order confirmation and showed it to him.

With his thick, dingy fingers, he brought his glasses up to his face from where the were stuffed in the front pocket of his overalls and squinted down at the phone. “Ok let's see what we got here… uhuh, a cylinder head, a motor mount, and a TMX series Carburetor. Seems like you got a lot on your plate there, Keith.” He handed him back over his phone and took his glasses off, stuffing them back into his pocket. “You sure you know where all those things go in that truck of yours?”

“I have a faint idea yeah,” Keith said dryly, taking the phone and slipping it back into his pocket.

“Uh Huh,” he nodded, making no move to get Keith's packages. He looked between Keith and Lance, and Keith was instantly very aware of how close they were standing next to each other. Trying to make it as imperceptible as possible, Keith leaned slightly away from Lance, who'd been standing uncharacteristic quietly at his side. “And this is…?” He gestured vaguely at Lance. “A new Mexican ranch hand that one of your,” he paused, distaste gathering in mouth, “ daddies hired?”

Keith could feel Lance instantly stiffen at his side. Under the counter and out of sight, Keith grabbed Lance’s hand and gave it a small squeeze, hoping that he could remind Lance to remain calm but in the back of his mind he knew it was really because he needed the contact. “No,” Keith said curtly. “This is Lance, he's my—” he turned and looked at Lance, making eye contact, and instantly regretting it. Lance's face, though masked with a forced calmness, had a painful mix of confusion and expectation underneath his veneer. “—friend,” Keith finished lamely, watching the lost look on Lance's face become more and more pronounced. “He's my friend come to visit for New Years,” he continued forcing himself to look away from Lance.

There was a long pause as he looked between them. The tension on the air was palpable and Keith could feel his skeptical gaze burning into the side of his face as his eyes took in Lance and Keith's proximity, but he was determined to ignore it. “Friend huh?” he said eyeing Lance up and down, taking in his Thrasher Magazine t-shirt and his clean stylish army jacket and his skinny jeans; he couldn’t look anymore from out of town if he tried. Keith knew it was only milliseconds but it felt like hours. He knew he should say something in defense of Lance but his mind froze. “Well alright,” he said after a moment looking skeptical but resigned, “lemme get you your packages, I'll be right back.”

Keith watched him walk through to a small inventory room, and waited until he was out of sight to let out a heavy breath. He dropped his left hand from Lance's, gripping it tight in his right hand, because he only noticed just now that his hands were shaking. The wait was excruciating. Keith just stared ahead at the crud covered wall clock because he couldn’t bring himself to look at Lance, although he could feel his eyes burning into the side of his face.  

“Ok here's your parts,” the man said, bring out three boxes stacked in his arms. “The invoice says you paid online so you're good to get on outta here.” He placed the boxes on the counter and Keith and Lance quickly picked them up in their hands.

“Thank you,” Keith said quietly, completely on autopilot, adjusting the heavy boxes in his arms.

“Mhm,” he said plopping back in his chair, returning to his previous napping position.

The two of them left the store without saying a word, walking out into the lot and putting the boxes in the flat bed on the truck. Keith quietly unlocked the car, noting that his hands were still trembling slightly as he fit the key in the lock on the driver’s side door. He climbed into the driver’s seat, closing the door behind him with a hard slam, the resounding silence louder than any of the thoughts shouting in his head.

Keith was vaguely aware of Lance quietly getting into the passenger seat next to him. The vacuum that the closing door created seemed to push Keith over the edge of emotion he had been standing precariously on. His hands clenched in his lap and he stared down the steering wheel as half formed thoughts bubbled up to the surface.

“I shouldn't— Lance I shouldn’t’ve… I… I'm sorry I should’ve said… said something,” Keith stumbled shaking his head.

“Keith… it's ok… I understand,” Lance said quietly. “I knew going in that Texas isn't exactly… gay friendly… or hispanic friendly... I just… I don't know, I just I didn't think that I might actually experience it.” Keith bit his lip, trying to center himself on the physical feeling of the pain in his lip instead of frustration he was feeling within himself. “Look Keith, that guy is an asshole. I wasn't sure if I was madder at the homophobia or the racism,” he said with a light laugh trying to make Keith smile. “White people really do think all hispanics are Mexican. I wonder what would have happened if I said I was actually Cuban. I think he might’ve exploded.”

But Keith felt horrified that Lance was trying to cheer him up when he should be the one consoling Lance. He felt more than frustrated, he felt weak.

“Listen,” Lance put his hand gently on Keith's thigh, “I guess, I see why you've been sorta… distant…  when we're out. I get it. I'm not mad.” Keith bit down on his lip harder. “I should have realized, I know I was a little careless. Things are different around here than in New York and I should have remembered that. I guess that's why you wanted me to stay in the car. You were protecting me.”

Keith bit down on his lip so hard he could taste blood. “I know it shouldn't bother me but it does. I should just ignore it, let it go,” he said tightly. He ran a hand down his face. “But I just froze. I'd seen my parents go through that sort of thing and deal with it a million times but I just froze.”

“Keith it was totally inappropriate, he was way out of line. He had you trapped there and he was making rude comments, you don’t have to acknowledge them,” Lance said taking one of Keith's hands in his. Lance's warm steady hand only seemed to make his seem even more clammy and shaky. “You don't have anything to feel bad about, you're not the bigot, he is.”

“This shouldn't have bothered me so much,” Keith said feeling his breath catch with each word. “I’ve dealt with worse. I should have ignored it.”

“Of course it bothers you, it bothered me too,” Lance said empathically.

Keith shook his head, biting down on the same part of his lip he'd already bitten through. “I've seen my dads go through a thousand times worse,” he repeated. “This—this was nothing and yet,” he tried to swallow but it was like a brick was lodged in his throat.

Lance held his hand tightly, rubbing his thumb gently across his skin. “Sometimes the things that trigger these kinds of responses are so small and minor they don't even seem worth it. But you have to remember that you're not just getting upset at this moment, you're getting upset at all the other little moments that you'd been through that led up to this.”

He knew Lance was right but it wasn't enough to get his breathing under control. The air came in sharp, shallow breaths, jolting his body with each intake. Keith felt small and stupid that he was overreacting to such a minor show of bigotry. He'd been through worse. He'd seen his parents go through worse.

But then he glanced at Lance. Sweet, kind, loving Lance who was holding his hand and looking at him with a soft smile. And suddenly he realized why he was so upset.

“It's—it's because of you,” Keith said in between breaths.

“What do you mean?” Lance asked confused and taken aback.

“I–I don't get this upset when it's just about me,” Keith said, inhaling sharply between words. “But, since you're–you're here, I feel like I should have said something or–or–or done something. To protect you.” He shook his head, looking away from Lance as he took in short gasps. “This is so stupid, I'm so stupid.”

“No sweetheart, no no you're not stupid,” Lance said lifting his hands up and taking Keith's face gently in his hands. “That guy was a dick but you and I both know that sometimes—” he sighed his eyes taking in Keith’s face, “sometimes saying something isn't always the best or safest course of action. And I know that sucks but remember that you still gotta live here when I'm gone. Standing up for me isn't worth it if it makes your life hell. I don't want that for you.”

Keith felt horrible but he couldn't find the words to say why. He knew hyperventilating was an overreaction, and that deep down Lance probably thought he was being ridiculous. But he couldn't help it. He'd already been feeling vulnerable, like he wasn’t good enough for Lance, now this just made him feel worse. How was Lance supposed to think he was worth all this effort if he couldn't even defend him properly.

“S–sorry,” Keith said, trying to control his breathing. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I feel so dumb for—for getting so upset. I'm–I’m such an idiot.” Words were just coming out but he wasn't in control of them.

“Keith, sweetheart, listen to me and just breathe,” Lance said softly, holding Keith face in his hands. “You're not dumb. You're not an idiot. You're strong—and stronger than most people. Stronger than me. You've dealt with so much in your life and sometimes you just get overwhelmed. This is you feeling overwhelmed. You're allowed to get upset when you're overwhelmed.”

“But—but—”

“No buts,” Lance said, making eye contact with him. “Just breathe.” Keith took slow controlled breaths, following Lance's instruction. “Ok in,” he held his breath, “and out,” he let it out slowly. They did that a few times until Keith's breathing leveled out. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. In the aftermath of his small breakdown, he felt even worse than before. He never wanted Lance to see him like that. Keith was supposed to be calm, rational, in control of his emotions; not breaking down every time someone said something homophobic or racist. Lance didn't need to deal with this, he was being dramatic and ridiculous and he felt so embarrassed. “Sorry about this.”

“Don't be,” Lance said with a gentle smile. “I just want you to be ok.”

“I'm— I’m ok,” Keith lied, nodding his head. However he seemed convincing enough for Lance. Lance placed a kiss on his forehead before taking his hands off the side of Keith's face and moving back  comfortably in his seat.

“Are you good to drive?”

“Yeah, I should be,” Keith nodded, still feeling a little light headed. Lance looked him up and down like he was about to object. “I really just need to get out of here,” Keith said jamming the key into the slot and turning on the truck.

Chapter 6: I'm More of a Target Man Myself

Notes:

a little bit of humor in between the serious stuffs

---

“Is there nowhere else you can go?” Lance asked looking out the windshield, his upper lip curled in distaste.

Keith, who was sitting in the driver's seat with his keys in his hands, fiddling with them back and forth, frowned further. “Unfortunately not.”

“Damn,” Lance frowned. “Ok we'll go in, get what we need, and get out. Real quick.”

“Alright,” Keith sighed unlocking the doors.

The both of them got out of the truck, stepping out into the parking lot of the Super Walmart. Trucks as far as the eye could see filled the parking lot and streams of people filtered in and out of the store all pushing impossibly overloaded carts with more shopping bags than conceivably possible.

As they crossed the threshold of the doorway and entered into the expansive and hyper real store, Keith unfolded the small list his hand handed him before they left that morning. “There's a bunch of things my dad's want,” he said scanning down the neat letters in Thace’s handwriting.

“Maybe we divide the list and we can do it in half the time?” Lance suggested looking over at the paper. “That way it's less time in the store and we can get out of here faster.”

Keith glanced at Lance; he was still looking down at the list in his hands. He could feel an aura of warmth coming from how close Lance was standing as he hovered over him, but he was noticeably nowhere near as close as he normally stood. Keith felt bad, his breakdown earlier probably really scared Lance. It wasn't his intention to make Lance uncomfortable— in fact, had Keith been completely in control of himself, he never would have gotten that visibly upset.

As he looked at him Lance caught his eye and gave him a warm smile. Keith smiled back; small, but genuine. He wanted to appear ok now, like he'd gotten over what had happened, even if it wasn’t true. The last thing he wanted to do was to keep reminding Lance that he was emotionally fragile.

“Ok,” Keith said with a nod. “We'll go faster if he divide the items.”

“Cool, so I'll take… all the non food items and the household stuff, and you get all the food stuff and toiletries, and we'll meet back at the—” Lance looked around, “—oh right there at the Christmas tree display made up of boxes of soda 12-packs.”

“Ok,” Keith said ripping the bottom half of list and handing it to Lance. “I'll meet you in like 20 minutes.”

“I bet I can make it back in 15,” Lance grinned.

“Do you have to make everything into a competition?” Keith said shaking his head but slightly amused by his boyfriend's antics.

“... yes—go!” he said taking off at a run, grabbing a shopping cart and barreling down the main aisle of the store. Keith was left in the entrance, shaking his head and smiling at the way that people had to dodge out of the way of Lance’s cart. Grabbing his own cart, much slower and not like a crazy person, Keith headed for the food section of the store, half of his list in hand.

Keith was not a fan of Walmart. He’d had too many bad experiences there, seen too much crazy shit, and got into too many car accidents in the parking lot, to ever not hate every second of being there. But there was something about being here with Lance, or at least knowing Lance was there and he was trying to make it fun and not a total drag, that made Keith feel like he didn’t even care where he was.

Lance often had that effect on him. Even though normally they don’t spend time together in the conventional manner, just having Lance up on Skype or Facetime or even just texting him while he did something less than fun made the whole experience a hundred times better. Like right now, knowing that Lance was off somewhere running through the aisles of Walmart wildly throwing items in his cart in some Supermarket Sweep–esque way, made Keith felt better. Well, as much better as one could feel after having a breakdown a little while before. Which was surprisingly, a lot.

As Keith walked through the grocery section, loading up his cart with the foods his dad gave him on his half of the list he actually found that the menial task let his mind wander a bit. He hadn’t been able to really zone out and not think about anything for the past couple of days—and if he was being honest with himself, weeks.

First it was preparing for Lance to come to his house, stressing the trip, getting ready, then freaking out, then being excited, then an unnerving combination of freaking out and being excited at the same time. His mind had been racing for weeks. Then it was Lance actually being here, in the flesh in all his glory, and how the reality of Lance being actually in his home was more overwhelming than he’d imagined. And then most recently, having that excitement and nerves devolve into a sinking feeling of inadequacy and anxiety; like he was just waiting for the shoe to drop and for Lance to realize his trip was a mistake.

All of this brought him crashing back to before, when he’d broken down in his car in front of Lance. Remembering that sent the sour taste of shame flooding into Keith’s mouth. He never wanted Lance to see him like that, looking helpless and vulnerable and weak. That’s how he’d felt, weak. It didn’t help that he already felt like he wasn’t enough for Lance, it was all worse now that he basically proved it to him.

Keith ran a hand through his hair as he left the food section and pushed his cart towards the toiletries sections. He tried to push out any thoughts of his anxieties but it seemed like the more that he tried to not think about it, the harder he thought about it. It was like a massive tug-of-war going on inside his head.

One side told him that Lance loved him and cared about him. That Lance thought he was enough and he had no expectations of Keith or their relationship. And that Keith should feel secure in that their long distance relationship was so healthy and full of love.

But on the other side, Keith’s anxiety was loudly yanking at the cord in his mind, threatening to send him toppling over. It kept telling him that they weren't ok, that Lance was not having a good time, that he was pretending to be happy with him right now but as soon as he leaves to go home their relationship is going to fall apart. And that—apart from being too much to deal with—Keith isn't even meeting the basic requirements of a good boyfriend and Lance is going to leave him feeling underwhelmed and wanting out.

He tried to push these thoughts away, it wasn't going to do any good ruminating on it right now. Keith glanced down at the list in his hands and then at the cart in front of him, and then at the aisle he was currently in. Having gotten all his food items on the list, Keith had started to go to the toiletries and healthcare section. But when he stopped to read his list again and he looked up, Keith realized he'd stopped right in front of the overwhelmingly large sexual healthcare display.

Keith stared at the rows and rows of boxes of condoms and lubes and other various very specific things he didn't even recognize. He'd only had to buy from this section once before, back in high school when his Mathlete team needed to put condoms in the microphones to keep them dry during their outdoor fundraiser. Being handed $20 of the petty cash by the club advisor and being told to run down to the store and buy a package or two of durex was one of the single most embarrassing memories of his high school career—of which he had many to chose from.

But now, finding himself in a position where he might actually need them for their intended purpose, Keith sort of froze. He could remember his words to Lance from the day before, his flimsy excuse for not wanting to have sex just yet because he didn't have any condoms. Yet he could fix that right now and remove that roadblock. It would go a long way to proving to Lance that he wasn’t wasting his time with Keith— what better way would be to show Lance that he was serious about their relationship than doing something he’d never done with anyone else?

Lance’s words rang through his head as his eyes darted across one condom box to the next. “I didn't come here specifically to have sex with you, I came here to be with you.” It was such a direct statement that it should have quelled Keith’s nervousness, but it only made Keith more unsure. Of course Lance came here to be with him, and of course they could have a great time together, and of course they didn’t have to follow some arbitrary idea of a relationship timeline and do things because that’s what people in relationships do. They could go at their own speed, do whatever felt natural, and right for them. But what about a week from now? A month? Six months? What about then? Would Lance still think all this effort is worth it if they weren’t—

Keith’s thoughts were interrupted by a hand reaching out and grabbing a particularly large box of condoms right in his field of vision. Startled slightly, he looked to his right to see a looming sort of dumb looking guy picking up the box in front of him. He caught Keith looking at him and gave him a sort of smug grin, shaking the box slightly in a show-offy manner, before turning around and walking back down the aisle.

Keith just blinked, watching the guy go, feeling a confusing mixture of embarrassment for being caught staring blankly at the condom display, mortification at the entire interaction, and weirdly misplaced jealousy that this guy could walk up to the aisle and pick out exactly what kind of condoms he needed and then walk away confidently. He glanced back at the shelves, his eyes finding the type that the guy just picked up; Magnum Ultra Ribbed Flavored Pleasure Pack . Keith had no idea even where to begin deciphering what those words meant together like that.

Sort of absentmindedly he picked up the same box, holding it up to his face to read the rest of the description on the box. It had a whole bunch of claims and descriptions like “ ribbed for her pleasure” and “largest size” and “fire & ice lubricant” . Keith just looked at the box feeling sort of lost.

What the hell is fire and ice lubricant? What does that even feel like? And how big is largest size? I don’t think I’m the largest size— or would Lance be the one wearing the condom? But I don’t think he’s the largest size either, however big that’s supposed to be. I don’t even know what the size chart is, or where would either of us fall in on the condom size chart? Should I ask him? No wait, I definitely don’t want to do that, he’ll probably just make fun of me for being so inexperienced that I don’t even know how to buy condoms. What the hell am I even doing. Why is this so—

For the second time in the same amount of minutes, Keith was startled out of his thoughts, this time by his phone vibrating suddenly in his front pocket. Almost dropping the large box of condoms onto the floor, Keith scrambled to get his phone out of his pocket. Seeing Lance’s contact on his screen, Keith practically chucked the box back onto the shelf and grabbed his cart and sped off, putting a good ten feet between him and that section before he answered his phone.

“Hello?” Keith said in a way that he hoped didn’t just sound like he was contemplating the size of his boyfriend’s dick.

“Yo where you at?” Lance asked. “I won like 5 minutes ago, I’ve been standing under this soda Christmas tree display waiting for you.”

“Yeah sorry, I got… distracted.”  

“It’s cool, you almost done?”

“Yeah,” Keith said grabbing the first bottle of shampoo he got his hands on. “I’ll be there in like 3 minutes.”

“Cool cool cool cool, ‘cause ‘ya boy’s hungry,” Lance said.

“Well it’s Saturday so my dad’s been preparing dinner all day,” Keith said putting the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he grabbed the bodywash his dad ask for in the list.

“Ooh what’s he making?”

Keith reached up for the pack of soaps on the top shelf, hopping up to try and reach it. “Uh, not sure. Probably something big and Texas-y because you’re here.”

“Big and Texas-y?” Lance laughed. “What meal would be described like that?”
“I don’t know,” Keith said while jumping to try to grab the box. “Ribs?” He jumped again. “Or brisket.” He jumped again, his fingers grazing the front of the pack. “Or both.” He jumped even higher, his fingers just grazing the boxes edge. “With like a bunch of sides of varying sizes— shit” he jumped and banged his knee right into the lower shelves causing himself to lose his balance and fall backwards onto the floor.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I sorta… fell on my ass,” Keith said getting up and forgoing the soap his dad asked for and getting a cheaper, easier to reach soap on a lower shelf. “Ok, I’m done here, I’ll meet you in like a minute.”

“Alright, I’ll be standing here like a present for you under this Coca Cola Christmas Tree,” Lance said, Keith could hear the smile in his voice.

---

Keith was kissing Lance in his truck. It was slightly awkward, the way they were both half bent over the middle divider between the front seats, holding each other’s faces delicately in their hands. But he didn’t care. Not after the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on all day. He was ready to kiss Lance and forget all his worries and feel his mind go blank and let it fill up with nothing but Lance.

And boy did he love kissing Lance. It was something he was determined not to take for granted this week, because he knew all too well how quickly he could forget when Lance was gone. And he was focused on remembering every bit that he could. The way Lance’s lips pulled gently as his own. The way he liked to tilt his head slightly. The way Lance let out soft little gasps each time they pulled back to breathe. Keith wanted to commit every bit of it to memory if he could.

He hadn’t even been able to wait until they got into the house. He’d driven up the long drive up to the ranch house, quickly pulled into the parking spot between the tree and his other dad’s truck, put it in park, shut off the engine, and leaned over and pulled Lance into a kiss. Needless to say Lance was surprised but enthusiastic. Almost instantly Lance had brought his hands up to cradle Keith’s face as he kissed back.

Keith wasn’t even sure why he needed to kiss him in that moment. He thought it was because he’d been too afraid to when they were out in public so he jumped at the chance to overcorrect when they were back home, but even that seemed a little desperate for Keith. But he couldn’t deny the fact that he’d been feeling a little more than his usual level of vulnerable, and what better way to quell that than to pull your caring boyfriend into a sudden make out session in your truck. Certainly Keith saw the benefit of it. And it wasn’t like Lance was complaining.

In fact, Lance was getting really into it. Keith had heard Lance’s seat belt unbuckle a few moments before he could feel Lance slowly started to feel around for Keith’s seatbelt release. After a few seconds, Lance found it, and without pulling apart from Keith, Lance clicked the button and released his belt. Keith moved his arm so he could get the belt off from around him and that gave Lance space to push him back and start reaching around for the seat adjusting knob.

Deciding to follow Lance’s lead, Keith reached down, pulling back briefly to moved the driver's seat back and then quickly lower the back of the seat. Adding much more space, Keith laid back against the now almost flat seat as Lance took the opportunity to climb over the middle and into his lap. Even with the added room, it was all bit tight and awkward and squished but Keith wasn’t complaining at all. If anything, the sight of Lance jumping the middle and straddling his lap was enough to get his heart rate racing.

Lance wasted no time and pressed down against Keith again, cupping his cheeks as he pulled at Keith’s bottom lip between his own. Keith brought his hands up to rest on Lance's hips, holding onto him as Lance not so subtly ground down against him. They were squished together by the confines of the front seat but that only added to how amazing it all felt. Keith let his mind go blank and think of nothing but Lance, how much he loved him, how beautiful he was, how good he was making him feel—

A quick tapping on the driver’s side window startled them both. Their sudden movement caused them to smack foreheads and they both groaned a loud “ow” as they pulled apart. As Keith rubbed the pain out of his forehead, he leaned up on his elbow and looked to see who’d tapped on the glass only to see Shiro standing with his back to them, leaning against the car door.

Keith moved forwards slightly, as best as he could with Lance still on his lap, and turned the car back on so he could lower the window. “Yeah?” he said to Shiro who was still leaning against the door, but turning his head slightly towards him.

“Don’t you guys have groceries in there?” Shiro asked, making eye contact with him over his shoulder.

There was a pause as Keith began to remember where he was and what he was doing. “Yeah?” Keith nodded, still rubbing the pain out of his forehead while Lance sat uncomfortably pinned between him and the steering wheel.

“Maybe unload them before things start to melt?” Shiro suggested.

“Um ok?” Keith said looking at Shiro wondering why it was important to interrupt them to tell him to do something he was already going to do. “Is that it?”

“Yup,” Shiro nodded, standing up and moving to walk away. He paused right before he took a step, “oh also, we can all see you. Making out in here. Also the truck is shaking. Also your dads’ are outside. And they can see you guys.”

Keith glanced up at the rear view mirror and saw that both of his dads were standing out a few yards from behind them, presumably having come outside to help unload the items from the car but were currently giving them some space. Ulaz had thankfully turned his back to the truck and was giving them some privacy, but Thace sent him a small wave. “Fantastic,” Keith said dryly. He briefly wondered if he was going to feel every variation of mortification today.

“Yeah. See you inside,” Shiro said knocking briefly on the side of the door before walking away.

Keith took the opportunity to re-close the window and shut off the truck again. Both looking red faced, they sat up and Lance moved back to the passenger seat to adjust himself. Keith quickly readjusted the seat back into a drivable position.

The two of them paused for a moment, sitting in silence until they caught each other's eye, saw how embarrassed they both looked, and burst out laughing.

“Oh my god,” Lance laughed, covering his face. “Oh god I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe your dads could see us. They totally saw me climb into your lap, I wanna die.”

“How do you think I feel?” Keith laughed. He said that but as he took a moment to actually check on how he felt, he realized that—while yes, he did feel a tinge of embarrassment—he felt good. He was laughing. Lance was laughing. It was like that's what they needed to break the tension that had been lingering all day.

So he smiled at Lance and reached over and took his hand and it was warm and soft in his hand. And he pulled on it and leaned over the middle divider and kissed Lance one more time because what did it matter anymore, it wasn't like he could get anymore embarrassed. And Lance smiled into the kiss, laughing softly to himself as he brought his other hand up to Keith's cheek.

They kissed for a few moments, nothing too serious or deep, just light smiling kisses that was more like laughed than anything else. And when they broke apart Keith felt, for the first that day, better.

Chapter 7: Do You Ever Just Like Think..... God, I Love Keith?

Notes:

thank you for all the responses to chapter 5! i know that a lot of times scenes like that lead to miscommunication and tension when written,,,, uh let's say, poorly, and I really wanted to show a different way that something like that could go and hopefully? it was successful? and i just wanted to take a second here to let y'all know that i see your comments, i love them, and i really appreciate them!

(also sorry this update was a bit late)

---

Keith had known his dad to go overboard when making food for three specific meals: Christmas, the 4th of July, and Keith's birthday. But the dinner he'd prepared for their usually big but not festivus Saturday Night Dinner was like all three days combined.

The dining table was covered in plates piled high with every type of barbecue Thace could make in one day. There were bowls and platters of pickles and mac & cheese and quartered onions and potato salad and baked beans and bread and cole slaw and corn on the cob and Keith was sure there were a few more things but he could reach them all from where he was sitting on his side of the time table.

Keith knew why his dad's had made so much food; they wanted to make an impression on Lance or at least to prove the old adage true: everything is bigger in Texas. And Lance seemed dutifully impressed, having said nothing but compliments about the food for the entirety of the meal. Keith however, had spent most of the meal looking at his parent’s faces as they spoke to Lance, looking to catch a glimpse of approval.

It has first been painfully embarrassing to walk out of the truck knowing full well that his parents knew and had seen exactly what they'd been doing— but somehow seeing Lance able to laugh it off and watching his dad Thace give him a thumbs up from behind everyone’s backs, Keith realized that even though he'd wanted to crawl under a rock and die of embarrassment, he actually felt happy. And so he was able to unload all the packages from the truck, and listen to “get a room” jokes from his dad and Shiro, and watch his other dad shake his head but laugh as well, and share self deprecating looks with Lance while still feeling pretty good. It was weird.  

Even throughout diner Keith felt surprisingly good, anxieties from the rest of the day completely pushed away for the time being. He was able to sit with his parents and best friend and his boyfriend and share an amazing meal. No overthinking. No anxiety. Just him and the people that cared about him most.

“You know you didn't have to help clear the table, you're our guest,” Thace said to Lance as he and Keith brought in the last few serving plates from the dining room. “Keith you should've told him.”

“I did tell him that,” Keith said defensively, setting down an empty plate that used to have a rack of ribs on it into the water filled sink.

“It's ok, I really don't mind,” Lance said putting down the plate of the last two pieces of cornbread on the counter. “I do this at home so now it's kind of a pavlovian response.”

“I wish I had Keith that trained,” Thace said lightly, as he washed dishes. “It took us years to get him to put his dirty clothes in a hamper and even now he still just puts it on his chair.”

“Thanks dad,” Keith said flatly.

“I'm just saying,” Thace said. Lance looked over at Keith, biting back a smile. “So what are your plans for the night? Another movie binge? More spa stuff?”

“Actually we're going to the bar for Shiro's friend Matt's party thing,” Keith said. “I’m not sure what it is.”

“Ooh the bar huh?” Thace said with a smirk. “That's the one in town right? Not the one on Needle Road right?”

“Yes dad, we're going to a biker bar,” Keith said sarcastically. Lance bit down on his smile even harder. “No, of course the one in town. The only bar that doesn't actively throw beer at gay people on sight.”

“That's a new development,” Thace said knowingly. “That only happened a few years ago when it was bought over by a lesbian ex barmaid just to spite the former owner.”

“Mood,” Lance said with a small nod of agreement.

“Well yeah that's where we're going,” Keith said. “Which reminds me, can I borrow the car again?”

“Sure, but you gotta ask your father,” Thace nodded.

“I am,” Keith said nudging Lance and winking at him.

Thace sucked his teeth annoyedly and rolled his eyes. “You know goddamn well I meant your other father. Since it's his truck.” Lance couldn't hold out any longer and let out a nosey snort. “You know, that joke stopped being funny when you were around 12.”

“Not to me,” Keith said. “Ok I'll be right back. Don't say anything embarrassing,” he directed at Thace as he walked out of the kitchen to find his other dad.

He ducked his head into a few of the rooms not seeing him, before he came to his dad’s office at the end of the hall. Keith lightly knocked on the door as he opened it slowly. “Hey dad?”

“Come in,” Ulaz said from behind the door. Keith opened the door all the way, seeing Ulaz working on Shiro’s detached prosthetic arm on his workshop table in the corner, and Shiro sitting comfortably on the small couch on the other side of the room.

“Oh if you’re busy I can come back later?” Keith said looking between them.

“No it’s quite alright, I’m almost done actually,” Ulaz said moving away the arm of the extendable magnifying lens from in front of him. “Takashi, come here let’s see if this bends better now.” Shiro walked over and stood next to the desk, letting Ulaz place and reattach his prosthetic arm back onto his shoulder. After a few moments of readjusting, Ulaz was able to get the straps in place and secure. “Ok now how does it feel now?”

He bent the elbow of the prosthetic with ease. “Much better,” Shiro said gratefully, looking over his arm. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Ulaz said with a small smile, patting Shiro affectionately on the back.

“I’ll leave you guys alone now,” Shiro said stepping towards the door. “See you in a bit, Keith.”

“Yeah, see you,” Keith said as Shiro walked out.

“So what did you need?” Ulaz asked moving to sit down behind his desk.

“Oh, I just wanted to know if I could borrow the car again for tonight,” Keith asked, playing with the mug of pens on Ulaz’s desk.

“Of course,” Ulaz nodded. “Are you going out with Lance somewhere?”

“Yeah, Shiro's friend Matt is going… uh somewhere, I don’t remember, so there's like a farewell party for him,” Keith explained.

“Well have fun,” Ulaz said with a small smile. “No drinking if you're driving.”

“Don't worry dad I'm not gonna do that,” Keith said. His dad's concern was one he'd heard a million times but it never failed to make him feel cared for.

“Is that it?” Ulaz asked looking at Keith with an open expression.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded as he turned to leave. But he stopped in the doorway, with his hand on the doorknob of the open door. There was something else, he just hadn't found the right time to ask. Keith closed the door and turned back around. “Actually, there's something else.”

“Oh?” Ulaz said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Keith walked over at dropped down into the chair in front of his dad's desk. He stared at his hands in his lap screwing up the courage to just ask. “Dad,” he swallowed, not looking up at Ulaz across from him. “What… what do you think about Lance?”

There was a few moments pause. “I–I think he's a very nice boy. He's polite and respectful and also funny and charming. And he seems to care about you a great deal,” Ulaz answered, sounding slightly caught off guard by the question. “I like him a lot.”

“And… and he's good for me, right?” Keith asked looking up at his dad.

“Well… yes, of course,” Ulaz said still looking caught off guard. “If I had any real concerns I'd tell you, you know that. He seems like a great person and the two of you seem very happy together.”

“We do?”

“Yes… are you not?”

“No no I am—we are,” Keith corrected quickly.

“But?”

“But…” Keith bit at his lower lip; he could taste where he'd bitten through it earlier and he tongued over where it had begun to heal over. “I just can't help but wonder… if maybe… I'm not… I'm not right for him.”

Ulaz blinked at him. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he found his words. “I have to be honest, I'm surprised that that's your concern,” he said with a nervous laugh.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I thought that maybe you were doubting your feelings for Lance or his feelings for you. Or that maybe that you felt like your relationship is different in person than it is over the phone.”

“I mean it is different,” Keith said. “But, not like bad different. Good different.”

“So why do you say that you're not right for him?” Ulaz asked leaning back in his desk chair. “Did he say something? Did something happen?”

Keith bite at his lip again, wringing his fingers in his lap. He thought he could think about what had happened without getting upset again but he could just feel all the feelings of inadequacy and helplessness surging back. “Yeah,” he managed to get out.

“Today?”

“Yeah when we were running errands,” Keith nodded. “The guy at the auto parts store said something racist and homophobic and… and I didn't say anything back. His comments were at Lance, and about you and dad, and I don't know… normally I say something but today I just… froze.”

This time there was a long pause. Keith looked away from Ulaz, wringing his hands in his lap as he waited for Ulaz to say something. Part of him felt like Ulaz was disappointed in him for not standing up for himself and another part of him hoped Ulaz understood what happened to him, because he still didn't.

“So you think… that you aren't right for Lance because you didn't tell off some racist homophobe?” Ulaz asked after awhile.

Keith blinked. “Well when you say it like that…”

“Keith, listen to me,” Ulaz said seriously. “I have dealt with a lot of racism and homophobia in my life. The amount of horrible things I've had to deal with for just being black or just being gay is exponential. If your father stopped to defend me—or himself— at every moment of injustice, we'd never have time to live our lives.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “And I'm going to be honest with you, you and Lance are going to have a hard time in life just trying to be a normal couple. Things have been getting marginally better but I'm telling you from first hand experience, biracial gay couples have it just about as bad as bad can get. Not only are you going to deal with racism, but also homophobia. And since Lance is bisexual, add biphobia to that list— something your father has dealt with since a time when people didn't even want to recognize bisexuality was real. It's not going to be easy and there are going to be times where you'll think that this all can't possibly be worth it.”

Keith swallowed thickly. “Is this supposed to be making me feel better?”

“What I'm trying to say is, cut yourself some slack,” Ulaz said. “No relationship is perfect, no matter how much it appears to look like it is on the outside. I don't think Lance blames you for not reacting to the person’s bigotry. I don't know him as well as you do, but by the way he's acting he doesn't seem like someone who's angry at you.” Keith shrugged. “How did he react in the moment?”

“When we got back to the car I sort of…” Keith pressed his thumb to his forefinger tightly, trying to create a distraction for the emotion welling up inside him. “I got… upset.” Keith glanced up at his dad and the soft understanding look on his face told him he didn't need to explain it any further. “And Lance comforted me. But I still felt like I should have been able to handle it better. I felt so… so…useless.”

“Why useless?”

“Because,” Keith said with a dismissive shrug feeling himself get emotional. “I should be able to handle things and be the–the boyfriend that Lance deserves and he came all the way here to see me and then I let that happen to him what is going to think of me?”

Ulaz made a small understanding hum as he sat back further in his chair. “I think we just came to the root of your issue.”

“What?”

“You're not upset at what happened, that's simply an incidental,” Ulaz said. “You're afraid of not living up to the expectations you think Lance has for you, and that if you don't live up to them Lance is going to perceive his trip as a waste of his time— and maybe you're entire relationship.”

If Keith wasn't on the verge of crying before, he was now. “Am I being ridiculous?”

“Well that depends on your definition of what's ridiculous,” Ulaz said. “If you think that with your history of abandonment, fear of rejection, and inexperience in relationships makes you ridiculous, then yes. But, if you ask me, then no I don't think you're being ridiculous. I think you're just responding to the situation based on your life experience. And I think Lance sees and understands that even if you don’t.”

Keith swallowed again, wiping the small tear that gathered at this corner of his eye with the back of his hand. “You know dad, I think you failed the bedside manner class in med school.”

Ulaz smiled at him softly. “I didn't do great in it, you're right.”

“Weirdly, I feel better,” Keith said.

“Good,” Ulaz said with a brief nod. “You just need to talk to Lance about this. Be honest with him and I promise you'll feel a million times better. I guarantee that if you're feeling like you have to live up to some expectation, he probably is too. You're not the only one who lives far you know, remember that there's two of you.”

“You're right,” Keith agreed. “I'll talk to him. Thanks dad.”

“Of course, any time,” Ulaz said. Keith got up from the chair, feeling like he'd dropped a million pounds off his shoulders. “Oh and one more thing,” he said as Keith went to leave.

“Yeah?”

“In my truck… please don't… I'd prefer you two did not engage in certain…activities…”

“Dad dad dad stop stop please stop I'm not gonna do that,” Keith said, his face instantly heating up with embarrassment.

“Ok but earlier the two of you were—”

“Dad please I'm begging you to never bring this up again,” Keith said pleadingly.

“Alright, I won't,” Ulaz said. Keith sighed in relief and turned again to leave the office. “Don't have sex in my truck,” he said just as Keith closed the door behind him.

“Oh my god,” Keith exhaled, closing the door tightly behind him.

---

“So how does this look?” Lance asked for about the tenth or twelfth time that night. He stood next to the bed in front of Keith, holding his arms up expectantly, showing off yet another outfit.

Keith, who had stopped paying full attention after the fifth or sixth one, gave Lance the same answer he'd given him with each outfit. “Yeah this one looks even better than the other babe,” he said monotonously as he stared at the Sims game on his computer screen.

“Aha! See I knew you weren't paying attention,” Lance said pointing an accusatory finger at him. “This is the same outfit as the last one I showed you, I tricked you. You're not even paying attention to me.”

“No, no of course I am,” he said as he closed his laptop and put it next to him on the bed. Keith looked over at Lance who was standing with his arms crossed angrily over his chest. “Come here, let me see your outfit,” Keith said moving to sit on the edge of the bed and reaching for Lance’s hand.

He uncrossed Lance’s arms so he could better see what he was wearing. He had on a pair of light washed jeans that had a slight rips at the knees, with a soft gray henley tucked in just behind his belt buckle. It was such a simple outfit but on Lance it could have been a tuxedo for how good he looked in it.

“You look really good,” Keith said softly, sliding his hands down Lance's arms and taking his hands in his own.

“Really?” Lance smiled. “You think so?”

“Mhm,” Keith nodded.

“Good, I wanna look good,” Lance said. “I'm kinda nervous to hang out with Shiro in like a casual, no parents present, alcohol drinking type scenario.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because he's so cool and awesome and I'm like,” he made a face and shook his head vaguely.

“You're…also cool and awesome?” Keith said like it was obvious; because to Keith it was. “Don’t be nervous. He’s chill.”

“But what if he doesn't like me? And what if he doesn’t think I'm good for you? And what if—”

“Hey Lance?” Keith said getting his attention. “Cut yourself some slack.” His dad's words felt good to say. Even better to see the anxiety leave Lance’s face and feel his whole body relax. “They’re gonna love you because I love you.”

Lance looked at him with soft smile. “I love you too.” He leaned down and gave Keith a quick kiss. “So you’re sure this looks good?”

“Yeah, you look really good,” Keith said. “But you always look good so that isn't saying much.”

“Aw you're sweet,” Lance smiled. “Says the guy that is literally dressed like sex on legs right now.”

“What?” Keith choked out. He looked down at what he was wearing. It was his relatively normal clothes, maybe a touch nicer. Black skinny jeans, a red tshirt, his black and red leather biker jacket. “This is how I normally dress?”

“Yeah and it's a goddamn crime that you live so far from me so I can’t see it on the regular,” Lance said shaking his head. “Ok, I'll be ready to go in like a minute,” he said letting go of Keith's hands and walking back into the bathroom.

“Ok,” Keith said still feeling kind of red from Lance’s enthused comments about his appearance.

He never really considered himself good looking until he'd met Lance who seemed to find him attractive. If anything he'd spent most of his life thinking he was too awkward, too small, too plain looking. Even with Lance’s frequent comments and flirtations, Keith still found himself surprised that someone as beautiful as Lance found him attractive.

“Alright my hair is done and I'm ready to go,” Lance said adjusting his last strand of hair into place as he walked out of the bathroom. “I look hot. You look hot. Let's go make people jealous.”

“Ok,” Keith said, amused. He pulled on his converse and got up from the bed. “Oh wait you should get a jacket, it’s probably gonna get cold.”

“I don't have a jacket that's like not my New York grade cold weather jacket,” Lance frowned.

“Here,” Keith went into his closet. “Use one of mine. He moved aside the racks of shirts and pants until he got to the jackets and coats on the right side. “Denim or leather?”

“Leather, definitely,” Lance said enthusiastically. Keith took out a simple black leather jacket that looked like it could fit Lance and handed it to him. “Is it weird that I find it so hot that you have a bunch of these?” he ask as he pulled the jacket on.

“At this point I just assume you find most things hot,” Keith shrugged with a smirk.

“So what do you think?” Lance asked showing off the jacket.

Keith’s mouth felt a little dry at the sight of Lance in his jacket. It was so inconsequential that he felt kind of silly being so impressed by the sight but at the same time, Lance was wearing his clothes . “G-good, you look good,” Keith said, clearing his throat.

Lance grinned at him. “Ok let's go.” He reached over and took Keith's hand and led them out of the room.

“We're going out,” Keith called out to his dad's who were sitting on the couch together watching a movie. “We'll be back late, don't wait up.”

“Have fun,” Thace called back just as Keith grabbed the car keys out of the key bowl and they walked outside shutting the front door behind them.

It was dark outside, the sun having set several hours before. The sound of the wind rustling through the tall grass and the occasional cricket filled the cool night. They both climbed up into the truck and buckled their seat belts.

“Oh I just realized you can't drink with me because you'll be driving,” Lance said disappointedly.

“It's ok,” Keith shrugged, turning on the truck. “We'll get super wasted together another day.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah I promise,” Keith chuckled as he backed the truck out and turned to drive down and out the driveway.

“Good,” Lance said.

They sat in silence for a while, but it was a good kind of silence. The kind that comes up only when there's nothing that needs to be said and the quiet doesn't need to be filled. Keith looked over at Lance for a moment; he was sitting comfortably in his seat, looking out the window into the star filled sky and the moonlit basen.

Briefly Keith wondered if maybe they should skip the bar altogether and go lay under the stars somewhere. But he shook his head free of that idea and looked back out at the road. There was plenty of time for that sort of thing later. Right now, they were going to a bar. For the first time together.

“So Shiro's friend Matt? What's he like?” Lance asked after they'd been driving for a few minutes.

“Oh, he's pretty cool,” Keith said non committally. “He's an engineering major I think, but he's transferring to a new school or he's doing a semester abroad or something… I don't remember why actually.”

“Remind me not to get my gossip from you,” Lance laughed. “So he's like Shiro's friend or like his friend ?”

“They aren't together if that's what you're implying,” Keith said glancing at him from the road. “They're just like, really good friends. Matt's a cool guy. I don't know, I don't know a whole lot about him but from what I've seen when I've met him I like him.”

“Cool cool cool,” Lance said nodding. “So is he like also like a super beefed up dude like Shiro or what? What's the deal here? Are we walking into like a group of gay porn looking dudes or?”

“What? No,” Keith laughed. “Matt's like, a small fella. Well not small but like not—what'd you say? Beefed up gay porn looking dude?”

“Yeah you know, like Shiro.”

Keith sputtered. “What in the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh come on, you're not blind,” Lance said feigning exasperation. “Shiro, he's like yoked. Like he looks like a Japanese version of the dudes from The Jersey Shore.”

“I mean he's muscular but I never thought about it like that,” Keith said making a face.

“Keith,” Lance said incredulously. “You're telling me you've never thought about Shiro that way? Never?”

“No way,” Keith said screwing up his face even more as he drove. “He's my best friend, and that's it.”

“I'm also your best friend,” Lance said smugly. “And you like me,” he said as if that proved his point.

“You're different,” Keith said, coming to a stop at traffic light.

“Different how?”

Keith sighed, glancing over at him. Lance was sitting looking at him expectantly. “Because you just are.”

“How?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because I've liked you since the beginning and I didn't feel this way about anyone else!” Keith sort of half shouted half stated without even really thinking about it.

Lance just stared at him, blinking owlishly. The light turned green and Keith looked away and continued driving but from the passenger seat he heard Lance speak. “You… you liked me since the beginning?” He asked quietly. “Like from when we first started talking?”

Briefly Keith thought about walking his statement back and amending it. But it seemed useless to do that. “Yeah,” he said thickly, keep his eyes on the road.

“I never knew that,” Lance said quietly. “I thought… I thought you liked me later on. You never said anything.”

“I mean it turned out just fine right?” Keith said, trying for a joke.

“But that whole time, like a whole freaking year, you liked me and I had no idea,” Lance said sounding sad. “And you never told me afterward until now either.”

“I don't know,” Keith shrugged. “It didn't really seem to matter anymore. Who cares who liked who for how long. We're together now and that's what matters, right?”

He glanced over at Lance who was looking at him fondly. “Yeah,” Lance said tenderly. “You're right.” He smiled and went to looking back out the dark window. “But for the record, things with you are different for me too.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, well besides being the first guy I've ever dated,” Lance said, “you're the only person who's ever made feel like… like I'm worth something.” Keith looked over at Lance who was staring at him with a loving smile. “Like maybe I actually make you happy and you're genuinely glad to be with me.”

Keith looked over at him and reached over and took his hand. “You actually make me happy and I'm genuinely glad to be with you.”

“Ditto,” Lance said clutching his hand.

Chapter 8: So A Gay Guy, A Bi Dude, And A Totally Yoked Bro Walk Into A Bar,

Notes:

sorry i missed last week's update because of the holiday but this week's is coming a day earlier!! also i just really like this chapter— nothing's funnier than being the only sober one at a party

---

Keith and Lance walked into the bar, hand in hand, and it was like something out of a movie. The music seemed to lower, people turned their heads, they stood awkwardly in the doorway. Keith swallowed thickly and gripped Lance’s hand tighter, refusing to let go. He could feel Lance stiffen next to him but neither of them said anything.

Keith braced himself to step further into the bar, when he caught sight of the owner, Zethrid, behind the bar. She gave them a welcoming nod, and he relaxed. All the other patrons turned back around and the music seemed to raise in volume again.

“Well,” Lance whispered to Keith. “That was an experience.”

“Yeah, I’m still not sure when my heart is gonna stop beating super fast but I’m glad that it’s all ok,” Keith said with a heavy exhale. “Let’s go find Shiro.” They walked through the entrance, still hand in hand as they went around tables and walked up to the bar. Zethrid, a very large, burly chicana woman, was standing behind the bar cleaning a Wiezen glass with a rag, eyeing them as they walked over. “Hi, we’re looking for—”

“Right over there,” she said before Keith could finish, pointing to the more secluded booths on the other side of the pool tables.

“Oh, thanks,” Keith said blinking at her. “How’d you know who I was—”

“Lookin’ for?” she completed. “Yeah, we don’t get many asians comin’ into here, figured y’all might be together.”

“Oh… right…” Keith said, exchanging a look with Lance. “Thanks.”

Lance pulled lightly at Keith’s arm and led them off towards the tables behind the pool tables and away from the bar. “Coño pero like you can only get one or the other down here can't you? Even your POC’s are racist, but she’s gay so she’s not homophobic. I don’t understand Texas.”

“That’s literally just how it is down here,” Keith shrugged.

“Remind me to never leave New York again,” Lance said with a huff.

Keith laughed and turned as he heard his name being shouted. He saw Shiro getting up from a large table and walking towards them.

“Hey you made it,” Shiro said clapping hands with Keith.

“Yeah man,” Keith said with a nod. “So where’s—”

“Matt?” Lance said with a tone of surprise. Keith snapped his head around to look at Lance and then turned to see where he was looking at Matt sitting at the table.

“Lance?” Matt said equally as excited, jumping up from the table and rushing over to Lance and giving him a big hug, that Lance returned enthusiastically. Keith and Shiro just stared at them in bewilderment. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here staying with my boyfriend, Keith,” Lance said gesturing back to Keith who was looking between them confused.

“Oh my god this Keith is your boyfriend,” Matt said with heavy realization. “I didn’t realize it’s this Keith! I know this Keith!”

“Yeah you know when Shiro said his friend Matt I didn’t think it’d be you,” Lance laughed. “I know you!”

“This is so wild, what a small fucking world,” Matt said with a smile.

“Are either of you guys going to explain what’s going on?” Shiro asked looking between them. “Because we’re really fucking confused.”

“Oh, this is Lance, he’s one of my little sister’s best friends,” Matt said gesturing to Lance.

“This is Pidge’s brother,” Lance said to Keith.

“Oh,” Shiro and Keith said in unison.

“Yeah,” Lance nodded.

“I mean, I knew you guys were both from New York,  but I didn’t realize you’d know each other,” Shiro said. “I thought it was a big city.”

“It is, but it’s also kind like a small town,” Matt said. “Well come, come sit here with me,” he said pulling Lance over to go sit with him.

Keith watched him go and sit and be introduced to all Matt’s other friends sitting at the table already. “That’s pretty weird right?” he said to Shiro who was also watching them.

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded. Keith looked over at him, and watched him watch Matt and Lance for a few seconds. “Do you think they’re gonna hang out together all night or…?”

“Well,” Keith began narrowing his eyes briefly, “for like as long as we’re here, yeah…”

“Right, right. Nevermind,” Shiro said waving his hand dismissively. “Come on let’s go sit,” he said patting Keith’s shoulder as he moved to walk back over to the table.

As they walked back over, Matt and Lance saw them approach and moved aside so that Shiro could take his seat back on the other side of Matt across from Lance, and Keith took the one empty seat left next to Lance on the booth side of the table. He slid into the tight spot, putting an arm around Lance’s shoulders as they were closely squished together. Not that Keith was complaining.

“You guys look so cute together,” Matt said putting his chin in his hand. “Like a beautiful gay couple in a subway ad.”

“Thank you?” Keith said unsure how to take that compliment. He looked to Lance for guidance, which was easier than normal to do because their faces were only inches apart.

“It’s a good thing,” Lance said leaning his head towards him to speak. “Thanks Matt.”

“It’s so wild that you guys are dating, like what are the fucking odds you know?” Matt said shaking his head in disbelief. “You know Lance, when you told me you met your boyfriend online, I was thinking more along the lines of Tinder and like, local.”

“Believe me it was a surprise to us both,” Lance said looking back at Keith with a soft smile. “We were just friends for like a year but when he came to visit me,” he paused to grin at Keith, the sight of which sent Keith’s heart racing, “we both knew that we were more than friends.”

“God that’s so sweet,” Matt said with a heavy sigh. “How you guys found each other like that, by chance. So how long have you been dating?”

“It was six months last week,” Keith said, moving even closer to Lance. “And Lance came to stay with my dads and me for New Years for this week before he goes back to school.”

“Ugh don't remind me,” Matt said with a heavy sigh, slumping his head against the table.

Shiro lifted his hand and gently patted Matt on the back. “He's conflicted about leaving for his semester abroad.”

“Really? Why?” Lance asked.

“Well because on one hand, I'm going to Tokyo, and I'm super fucking lit for that,” Matt said lifting his head up from the table. “But on the other, that's literally on the other side of the world and it's so far and I barely speak Japanese and what if it's horrible?”

“It's not gonna be horrible,” Shiro said lightly like he'd said this to Matt a million times before. “You're gonna have an amazing time and it's gonna be a life changing experience.”

“Yeah I guess you're right,” Matt said with a slight frown.

“I know I'm right,” Shiro said. “Look, let me buy you a drink?”

“Ok,” Matt said the smile growing back on his face. “Whiskey sour?”

“Of course,” Shiro said getting up from the table. “Did you guys want anything?” he asked Keith and Lance.

“I'll take an old fashioned,” Lance said.

“A beer, I don't really care what kind,” Keith said.

“Ok, I'll be right back,” Shiro said as he pushed his chair in.

Matt turned to watch him go, waited until he was out of sight, and then slumped down onto the table. “This is the worst,” he mumbled into the wooden table top.

“What's the worst?” Lance asked.

“I've got like 5 days until I leave for Tokyo and 3 of them I'm spending here, miserable,” Matt mumbled.

Lance and Keith exchanged a confused look and a shrug. “Why are you miserable?” Keith asked.

“Because I'm too chicken to go up to Shiro and tell him how I feel and now I'm flying halfway around the world for 5 months and that's gonna be the end of it,” Matt whined.

“Ooooooh I see,” Lance said nodding. “You like Shiro.”

“A little bit yeah,” Matt frowned lifting his head up and resting his chin in his hand. “But it's whatever now. He doesn't even like me that way so… whatever, I'll get over it.”

“Well speaking as someone who's kinda been in your position before,” Lance said leaning in to talk to Matt. “I say you gotta go for it.”

“Really?” Matt asked. “You think so?”

“Listen, I wish I was the one who made the first move,” Lance continued. “I was terrified and worried I was gonna fuck up our friendship and if Keith hadn't kissed me I don't know where we'd be right now.”

“Wait,” Matt said. “Keith made the first move? Really?”

“Is that so surprising?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow at Matt.

“I mean, sorta yeah,” Matt shrugged. “No offense.”

“I think Matt means that you're sort of insular with your feelings and it's surprising to people that you're the one who took the first step in our relationship,” Lance explained.

“I guess so,” Keith nodded, not exactly agreeing.

“Either way, you should totally be direct with Shiro,” Lance said turning back to Matt. “It's better to be upfront and honest with him than wish you'd done something later. Plus what's the worst that could happen? He says no? So what? Then you go to Tokyo knowing you tried. But you gotta try first.”

“You know what,” Matt said nodding vigorously. “You're right. I'm gonna tell him.”

“Yeah man!” Lance cheered.

“I'm gonna go up to him, and tell him how I feel about him,” Matt continued.

“Right on man!” Lance said happily.

“And I'm gonna have no regrets for when I leave!” Matt said pounding his fist on the table.

“Hell yeah!” Lance cheered, pounding his fist too.

“But I'm gonna get super drunk first!” Matt said excitedly.

“Yeah!—wait, no,” Lance said. But it was too late, Matt said already gotten up from the table and was heading to the bar with determination. “Well… alright I guess that’s one way to do it…” Lance looked over at Keith who was frowning at him. “It's not like I told him to get super drunk?”

“Shiro isn't gonna take some drunken confession seriously,” Keith frowned.

“Well, what if he was also drunk?” Lance said looking towards the bar.

“I've seen Shiro drunk like twice,” Keith said with a vague hand motion.

“And tonight might be lucky number three,” Lance said pointing with his lips over to the bar area.

Sure enough, when Keith glanced over at the bar he saw Matt and Shiro knocking back a shot with a line of upturned empty shot glasses already on the counter. “This is sure to be interesting.”

---

Being the only sober person at a bar is always an experience. And for Keith that experience was half torture half endlessly interesting. Torturous because he had to play babysitter for drunk Lance, Matt, and Shiro. But interesting because he was babysitting drunk Lance, Matt, Shiro.

There was Matt: who was a very loud, very excitable drunk. He'd done about 5 shots with Shiro and then proceeded to pound down the whiskey sour he'd ordered. Then had spent the past hour singing along to the radio and talking to (fawning over) Shiro. Occasionally he posed a small danger to himself with his impaired balance and Keith had to keep him from falling into the floor numerous times, but once Keith sat him in a booth next to Shiro he didn't move again.

Then there was Shiro: who was a quiet, musing sort of drunk that would wander off. After he'd done Matt's shots, he'd been recruited by Lance to do a few more and then dropped into a booth with Matt. Keith had managed to contain him in the booth while he nodded and listened as intently as a drunk person can to Matt's inebriated ramblings.

And finally, there was Lance: who was by far the biggest handful of the bunch. After a few minutes of casual conversation with the other people at the table once Shiro brought over their drinks, Lance managed to down his drink in a surprisingly short amount of time. Keith was mildly surprised when he got up and convinced an already tipsy Shiro to do more shots with him, and he was even more surprised at how many and how expertly he watched Lance knock them back.

Then, taking his eyes off Lance for just a few minutes to settle Matt and Shiro in a booth, he turned back around to find that Lance was engaged in a heated and drunken game of pool with another of Matt's engineering friends, and two burly looking men from another table. Keith watched the game, worried for his boyfriend, but also weirdly attracted to his drunken brazen confidence, and saw Lance handedly beat the other players. Concerned for a moment that there might be some retaliation from the other players, Keith hurried over to interfere when it turned out they all went to buy Lance and everyone in his party a drink. Which Lance brought over to Shiro and Matt, bragging about his victory in his slurred and affected speech.

And that's how Keith found himself, with a lap full of a very drunk and very chatty Lance.

“Keith—Keith did ya’ see the way I totallywonthatgame,” Lance slurred against Keith's cheek. He was draped all over Keith, his legs thrown over Keith's lap, his hands running through his hair, his lips mouthing at Keith's neck and face.

“I did, I saw,” Keith said finding it difficult not to find his very drunk boyfriend’s behavior somewhat amusing. He had his arm around Lance’s waist and legs holding him in place as they sat at the booth across from Matt and Shiro who were in the depths of a very drunk conversation.

“—an’ an’ I jus’ feel like like it's never gonna get like, any better ya know?” Matt slurred, gesturing vaguely at a very serious and glassy eyed looking Shiro.

“Yea’” Shiro nodded lifting his almost empty mug of beer up to his mouth.

“It's jus’ like… like… this is it,” Matt said with drunken seriousness. “Anything aft—after The Cursed Child is gonna—gonna be super bad. Like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Beast Them? Super bad ya’ know?”

“I total agree,” Shiro said earnestly, slamming back the rest of his beer.

“Keith Keith hey hey hey listen listen listen,” Lance said pulling at his chin so he'd look at him.

“Yeah?” Keith said looking over Lance’s alcohol reddened cheeks.

“Can we like uh like uh make out like real real quick for like thirty minutes real quick like super quick,” Lance asked already beginning to kiss at his cheek and chin.

“Lance no, come on we're in public and you're super drunk,” Keith said moving his head to the side to avoid Lance’s mouth.

“Fine fine fine then like jus’ half an hour then,” Lance said mouthing at his jawline and ear.

“Lance,” Keith laughed, feeling ticklish. “Come on, if you sober up then yeah maybe.”

“Ok,” Lance nodded drunkenly trying to untangle himself from Keith's lap.

“Where are you going?” Keith asked amused by Lance’s clumsiness.

“I'm gon’ get ‘nother drink,” Lance said. “Gonna get sober.”

“No no Lance, babe, sit down, I'm cutting you off,” Keith said holding him back from getting up. “No more drinking for you. You need to sober up.”

“But but but—”

“No Lance,”  Keith said gently, settling him back in his lap.

“Ok ok I'll stay here an’ we'll— we’ll make out for a lil’ bit,” Lance said entangling himself with Keith again, mouthing at his jaw and cheek. Keith could do nothing to stop him but just turned his head back to Matt and Shiro across from him.

“There's jus’— jus’ never gonna be ‘nother series like Harry Popper—Harry Podfer—Potter,” Matt slurred passionately, shaking his hands aimlessly around while Shiro nodded intensely. “It was perfect. An’—an’ don't let anyone tell you that the Cursed Child wasn' good—it was great .”

“‘Was so good,” Shiro mumbled back, still nodding his head.

“It was though,” Matt continued with vigor. He sat back in his seat in the booth, cradling his drink with both hands. Matt leaned his head back against the soft seat backing and mumbled, “it was so good,” under his breath several times.

At this point, Keith felt like if he didn’t get everyone out of the bar now, he was going to have to start carrying people out, and he did not want to do that. So he made an executive decision. “Ok guys, fun time is over. It’s time to go home.”

“But we jus’ got here,” Lance said pausing from his mouth mapping of Keith’s face to whine. “Five more minutes.”

“No, babe it’s time to go home,” Keith said slowly moving Lance’s legs off his lap, pushing his feet to the floor. “I’m gonna drive everyone home now.” He unlatched Lance’s hand’s from him and grabbed their jackets they’d discarded earlier. “Come on guys, let’s go,” he said giving the table a few hard pounds with his hand getting Matt and Shiro’s attention.

“What?” they both said in difference stages of consciousness.

“The car, let’s go. I’m taking you guys home,” Keith said motioning towards the door with one hand as he supported Lance up with the other.

“Ok,” they both said, drunkenly shuffling out of the booth, tripping over their own feet and each other.

With Lance slumped over his side, Keith managed to maneuver them all out of the bar, dropping a few bills on the bar on the way out for whatever last few drinks they hadn’t paid for. Once he got the three all outside, he herded them over to the truck.

“Ok, now if anyone pukes in my dad’s truck I’m leaving them on the side of the road do you hear me?” Keith threatened as he clicked to unlock the doors.

“Yeah ok sure yeah,” Matt mumbled stumbling as he climbed into the back seat. Shiro helped him slightly, lumbering in after him and barely missing his foot when he closed the door.

“Hey Lance? Babe? Are you still awake?” Keith asked as he reached up and opened the passenger side door with one hand and held Lance upright with the other.

“‘m — I’m wake,” Lance murmured into Keith’s neck.

“Great, I need you to climb up into the truck ok?” Keith said shifting so Lance was closer to the truck. “Because I probably could lift you, but like, I could also drop you.”

“I got this,” Lance said summoning up all his strength and confidence and sobriety as he moved for the truck. Clumsily, Lance made it up and into the truck not without banging his head on the ceiling that was sure to leave him with an extra powerful headache for the morning.  “‘K, I’m in,” Lance said giving Keith a thumbs up as he struggled to click his seatbelt. Keith gave him a thumbs up in return and closed the passenger door, before letting out a heavy sigh and walking around to the driver's seat.

“Ok is everyone buckled in?” Keith asked as he climbed into the driver's seat and shut the door behind him.

“Yes mom,” Matt said from the back seat. Keith sent him a frown in the rearview mirror. He was slumped over on his left, leaning his head against the window with a passed out Shiro laying his head in his lap.

“Matt where am I taking you?” Keith asked turning on the car. “I don’t know where your place is, can I just take you to Shiro’s?”

“You can jus’ take me to deez nuts,” Matt drunkenly giggled from behind him. Lance, who Keith thought had passed out, broke out into a fit of giggles.

“Deez nuts,” Lance repeated under his breath, laughing to himself.

Keith rolled his eyes, and pulled out of the parking lot in front of the bar and started to drive to Shiro’s home. The smell of booze and sweaty dudes filled the cabin of the truck fairly quickly and Keith rolled down the windows to let the chilly December air flow through the car. In his periphery he saw Lance shivering so he reached back and pulled out the jackets he’d tossed in the back and at a stop light draped one over Lance.

“That’s real nice of you,” Matt mumbled quietly behind him. “You’re a good boyfriend. You mus’ love him a whole bunch.”

Keith glanced up at Matt in the rearview mirror. Though drunk, he was very much awake and seemed to have been speaking completely honestly. “I do. Love him. A lot, I mean.”

“Yeah… yeah I can tell,” Matt nodded. “That’s good. He needs someone… someone good. Lance’s never really ever really had a really good time with relationships in the past. An’ I’ve known him a while. An’ he’s a nice boy—a good boy. He jus’ needs someone who can—can love him. ‘Cause once he loves someone he doesn’ let ‘em go. And I think that you’re good for him.”

Keith wasn’t sure how to respond to Matt’s ramblings, or if Matt even wanted a response. He glanced at Lance who had now passed out in the passenger seat. Matt’s words rang in his ears as he looked at the soft sleepy features of Lance’s face. Lance was a nice, good boy who needed someone who loves him. And in that moment, Keith knew that he wanted nothing more in the world than to be that someone.

For the next few minutes Keith drove in relative silence, the only real sounds were the wind whooshing past them and the rumbling truck engine. He thought about what Matt said about Lance, and how Keith felt like he was that someone that was there to love Lance. And it made him feel legitimately good to have some actual—though drunken—validation of his relationship with Lance in this moment. Especially when he’d been flip flopping all day on his rollercoaster of emotions, to have it end with someone close with Lance saying that he was good for him, was about as perfect an ending as he could get.

“Hey can we pull over so I can get doritos and throw up a little bit?” Matt asked.

Well, perhaps not so perfect.

“Ok, I’m pulling over, don’t puke in my truck,” Keith said sternly, pulling over into a convenience store parking lot. He turned off the truck and turned around. “Does anyone need anything from the store?” All three of them raised their hands. “Great. Ok what is it?”

“I want a Dr. Pepper an’ a family sized bag of nacho doritos,” Matt said, trying to unbuckle himself.

“Can you get me one of those… like… the yellow thing with the cream in the middle?” Shiro tried to describe, his head still in Matt’s lap.

“A twinkie?” Keith offered.

“Yeah, that,” Shiro said. “I want four.”

“Ok,” Keith said dryly. “And Lance? What do you want?”

“Can you get me some cookies? No, cookie—wait, no I mean cookies,” Lance said confusing himself. “Whatever kind is fine, jus’ make sure it’s chocolate chip.”

“Ok,” Keith said laughed despite himself. He climbed out of the truck and closed the door behind him.

Rubbing his eyes free of the tiredness that had begun to settle, he walked into the bright and sterile convenience store. A latin radio station played at a very low volume in the background almost overpowered by the hum of the refrigerated aisle. Keith grabbed a shopping basket and proceeded to go down the aisles collecting all the crap that his friends wanted.

He piled in the bottle of Dr. Pepper and doritos, the last three twinkies he could find and cosmic brownie to make up the difference, and a whole package of soft baked chips ahoy. Taking his time walking to the counter to pay, he stopped into the health aisle and grabbed a bottle of aspirin and small container of mouthwash that he knew someone was definitely going to need later. Keith was just exiting through the aisle when he stopped at the very end of it in front of the sexual health section.

Much less expansive than the one at Walmart but still with enough variety to make Keith feel lost, Keith just stared at the boxes and packages of condoms and lubes. He knew in his mind that this was probably the only opportunity he was going to have to buy condoms without Lance seeing it. Though it did feel sort of weird buying condoms when Lance was super drunk in his truck.

It’s not like I’m using them right now, I’m just trying to be prepared for when I do need them. For later. Definitely not now.

Seeming to have rationalized and convinced himself enough, Keith reached for the first package of condoms he saw, and then grabbed the first box of lubricant that he saw and threw them into his shopping basket. And before he could chicken out, he walked straight over to the counter and placed his basket on top.

Behind the counter was a sleepy looking teenage boy, with an acne riddled face and floppy brown hair that looked like in a few weeks it would be a complete mullet. Keith stood awkwardly in front of him as he begun to ring up his items painfully slowly. He swallowed uncomfortably as he got to the condoms and lube, looking like he was examining them in depth before he scanned them.

“These ones are really good,” the boy said holding up the package of condoms. “I’ve used them a bunch of times before with my girlfriend. Although she likes the flavored ones if you know what I mean.” He looked a Keith with knowing smirk and moved his hand towards his mouth suggestively.

“Oh,” Keith said wanting to be anywhere else than there in that moment. “That’s… totally gross,” he added under his breath as the boy put all his items in a plastic bag. He barely even heard the total as he handed the boy his card and punched in his pin faster than he’d ever done before in his life.

“Have a good night man—is that puking guy with you?”

Keith looked out the large window and saw Matt throwing up into the garbage can right out front. “Nope,” he shook his head and walked out as quickly as possible. He waited until he was a little past Matt’s hunched over body to call out to him. “Matt,” Keith whispered trying to get his attention. “Let’s fucking go.”

“Ok I’m coming just—” he said cutting himself off halfway to hurl again. After a few seconds of spitting, Matt lifted his head out of the garbage can and shuffled back over to the truck, weakly lifting himself into the backseat and slamming the door shut behind him.

“Here, for you,” Keith said handing out everyone’s requests. “Dr Pepper and doritos, and also here’s some mouthwash.”

“Oh lord bless you,” Matt said taking his items with excitement.

“Shiro there were only three twinkies left so I got you a cosmic brownie to make up the difference,” Keith said handing it back to Shiro who’d finally sat up.

“The only acceptable substitution,” Shiro nodded taking his items with reverence.

“And for you Lance,” Keith handed him the entire package of cookies.

“Ugh I love you so much,” Lance said moving the jacket onto his lap and taking the box of cookies.

“Ok, now everyone buckle up and I’m driving y’all home now,” Keith said, hiding the bag that still had items in it in the middle divider pocket hoping Lance was too distracted by the cookies to see it.

Chapter 9: Don't Drink and Have Emotional Conversations About The State of Your Relationship With Your Significant Other

Notes:

uhhhh sorry i was dead. im alive. for now.

“Lance, shush, we gotta be quiet, my dads’ are asleep,” Keith whispered as they walked into the house.

“Sorry,” Lance whisper yelled, still very drunk as Keith half walked, half carried him into the house. “I’ll be more quiet now.”

“Yes, please,” Keith said quietly shutting the front door carefully behind them. Weighing his options on shuffling Lance all the way to his room, Keith decided it would be better for him to make two quiet trips rather than one potentially loud one. Deciding on the first option, Keith set down the plastic shopping bag on the floor, placed one arm under Lance’s knees and one around his back, and lifted him up in one swift movement.

“Holy shit,” Lance said far too loud.

“I’m gonna carry you to my room but you need to be quiet,” Keith whispered as he began to speed walk towards his bedroom.

“Ok,” Lance now only stage whispered into Keith’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Keith’s neck for support. “This is super awesome hot by the way. Like it’s super hot that you can do this. Like you’re really hot.”

Keith smirked. “I know,” he whispered. He made it past the door to his parents bedroom without making any extra noise and slowly opened the door to his bedroom so as to keep it from creaking. “I'm gonna set you down on the bed ok? You start to undress, I'll be right back.”

“Are we gonna fuck?” Lance asked as Keith set him down on the bed, sounding a mix between tired and curious.

“What? No,” Keith said pulling off Lance’s shoes and placing them gently on the floor. “No, you're drunk.”

“You're right,” Lance nodded sleepily. “That's a good idea. We shouldn't do it right now.”

“Right…” Keith agreed cautiously. “It is a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Lance said closing his eyes and tossing his arms above his head on the bed. “Plus I don't think I can.”

“What?” Keith asked a little stunned.

“I'm… I'm kinda scared to do it,” Lance said quietly, almost to himself.

“You—you are?”

Lance moved his arms to prop himself up slightly and tried to look at Keith with half lidded eyes. “I'm worried I'm gonna be… like… bad. Like what if we do it and it's horrible and you hate me for ruining your first time?”

“Lance I would never,” Keith shook his head.

He tossed his head back against the bed, still propping himself up slightly. “And then I've ruined it and it'll be bad and it'll be all my fault. And there it is, there goes an important moment, ruined.”

“Lance that's—that's not going to happen,” Keith tried to say calmly, feeling himself get anxious for Lance.

He dropped his elbows, flopping him completely back on the bed. “And if—if I'm bad, then you're gonna feel like you've wasted your time with me. Like I can't even get the basics right. I live so far from you and if I can’t even do this one thing good then like, what’s the point right?” Lance lifted his head slightly to look down his body at Keith. “You expect me to be good right? Like you expect our first time to be good?”

Keith opened and closed his mouth a few times in disbelief. “I don't expect anything.” The words felt like he was having a conversation with himself. “Lance I have zero expectations.”

“Really?” Lance asked surprised.

“Really,” Keith nodes earnestly. He knew he probably shouldn't be having this conversation with a drunk Lance, but he wasn't sure it would have gotten brought up if Lance was sober. “Lance, are you… do you think that I'm gonna break up with you if you're not perfect?”

“Why wouldn't you?” Lance asked staring up at the ceiling. Before Keith could say anything, Lance’s face skewed up and tears gathered in his eyes and he immediately began to cry. Thick, heavy tears streamed down his face and he made no move to clear them away. “Why should you keep me if I'm not perfect for you?” he cried. “I try so hard but I've already fucked up so many times.”

He couldn’t believe Lance was feeling this way—especially when he had no reason to feel inferior in their relationship. Not the way that Keith had. “What? No you haven't,” Keith said. He grabbed at Lance’s arms and pulled his floppy drunk body to sit up right for a hug. Keith held Lance close to his chest, wrapping his arms around Lance’s shoulders and back as Lance cried into his chest.

“I'm no good for you,” Lance cried, hot tears staining Keith's tshirt. “I'm not worth this effort. I'm not. You should find someone who's worth being there for you. And you’re so good to me and I wish I could be with you every day. Like I’m not even literally here all the time like the fuck is the point of me.” Lance wrapped his arms around under Keith's arms and around the back of Keith's shoulders, digging his fingertips into his back. He continued to cry unabashedly, making a sizable wet spot on Keith's shirt. “I love you Keith,” he let out in a half sob half plead.

“I love you too Lance,” Keith said softly, holding Lance as tight as he possibly could. “And I've already found someone worth being with me and it's you. If anything, I'm not worth being with you. You're funny and kind and caring and beautiful and I love everything about you.”

Lance sniffed and lifted up his head, his face covered in red tear tracks. “You really think so?”

“I do,” Keith nodded looking down at him fondly.

“And you're not gonna leave me if I'm not perfect?” Lance sniffled.

“No way.”

Lance regarded him for a moment, his crying finally having subsided leaving him with the hiccups and the occasional sniffle. His face was red and streaky, thick strands of tear marks covered his cheeks and chin. And even though he still looked more than drunk and desperately sad, Keith couldn't help but think that somehow he made it look beautiful.

“I'm gonna go get the bag I left at the door and turn off all the lights, ok?” Keith said prying Lance’s hands off him. “But I'll be right back.”

“You promise?” Lance asked flopping back into the bed.

“I promise.”

He placed a brief kiss to Lance’s forehead and walked out of the room. Quickly but quietly, Keith grabbed the bag he'd left and began turning off all the lights. Keith went into the kitchen and got Lance a large glass of water and then went back down the hallway to his room.

By the time he'd gotten back, Lance had shed the rest of his clothes and was laying in his boxers on top of the blankets with his eyes closed. Keith took the opportunity to put away the box of condoms and lube into his desk drawer.

“Hey Lance? Babe, come on get up you can't fall asleep just yet,” Keith said leaning over him trying to wake him up gently.  

“What?” Lance said sleepily, sitting up.

“You need to drink this and take an aspirin,” Keith said handing him the glass of water and one of the pills he'd bought. “You'll thank me in the morning.”

“Ok,” Lance said, taking the pill and cup without any argument.

Keith left him to use the bathroom and by the time he came back the glass was empty and Lance was passed out on top of the blankets. With a sigh, Keith pulled the sheets out from under Lance and tucked him in into bed. Finally he shut off all the lights and crawled into bed next to Lance, who turned and cuddled into him when he felt his weight next to him.

“Goodnight Lance,” Keith whispered, wrapping his arm around Lance’s shoulders and kissing the top of his head. He listened to the soft sounds of Lance’s breath as it lulled him to sleep.

---

Keith woke up to the sound of Lance groaning “oh god” and then rushing out of bed. Still groggy from sleep, Keith just rolled over and closed his eyes. Though falling back asleep was hard to do with the sound of muffled retching coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

After a few seconds of trying to go back to sleep, Keith gave up, and slowly sat up in bed. Though all the curtains were drawn it was fairly bright in the room meaning that it was well past his usual running time. He reached over and grabbed his phone off his desk, and saw that it was well past 10 in the morning, which was several hours later than he normally slept but he somehow still felt exhausted.

“Did I eat cookies last night?” Lance asked standing in the doorway of the bathroom as he brushed his teeth. “Cause that tasted like Cookies Round Two.”

“You don’t remember?” Keith asked looking over at him.

Lance leaned over and spit into the sink, and stood up and continued brushing his teeth. “Apparently not.”

“Do you remember anything?” Keith asked, sitting up more and crossing his legs under the blanket.

“I remember getting to the bar, drinking my whiskey,” Lance spit into the sink and rinsed his brush as he continued talking, “then I think… I did shots with Shiro?”

“Mhm,” Keith nodded.

Lance walked out of the bathroom and turned off the light. “And then after that it all kinda goes fuzzy.” He went over to his open suitcase on the floor and pulled out a clean white t-shirt and pulled it on over his head. “I think I played pool last night. And won?”

“Yup,” Keith nodded, leaning his head back against the wall. “You did.”

“Sweet,” Lance said proudly crawling back into bed. He settled on his side, laying down next to Keith, propping his head up in his elbow. “But that’s pretty much all I remember. I don’t remember leaving the bar or getting back here or when in between that I ate just like, a shit ton of cookies.”

“You don’t remember coming back?” Keith asked carefully.

“No,” Lance shook his head. Keith must had made some expression because Lance looked at him curiously. “Why… did something happen?”

“No,” Keith said too quickly, shaking his head. Lance raised his eyebrow at him. “I mean kinda. Nothing big just—we just… talked. Well you talked, I listened.”

“What’d I say?” Lance asked sounding curious but worried.

“Well, um…” Keith began unsure how to rephrase Lance’s drunken crying into something that wasn’t going to make now sober Lance feel bad. “You just… talked about us. Our relationship.”

“Anything specific?”

“Just like…” Keith looked off away from Lance and down at his phone in his hands that he was turning anxiously. “That you felt like you had to be perfect and if you weren’t, you were afraid I was going to… um… break up with you because we only get to see each other so few times in the year and if things aren’t perfect then like, what’s the point right?” He looked back up at Lance to see that he was staring at him with his mouth downturned in the way that it gets when he’s about to get emotional.

“And what’d you say?” Lance asked quietly.

He paused for a moment. “I don’t expect you to be perfect.”

Lance’s lip continued to tremble slightly. “And—and what’d I say?”

Keith swallowed. “That you loved me.”

He watched Lance’s face curl up into a soft smile. “Sounds about right.”

“For the record, Lance,” Keith said carefully. “In the interest of being honest and open with you… I… I felt like that too.” He swallowed thickly, watching Lance’s face turn from a smile into a vulnerable hesitation. “Like you were coming here and you were expecting so much out of the visit, and I had to live up to this trip we’ve been imagining for six months and I was so… so afraid that I was gonna fall short of it and you were gonna think you wasted your time with me and that when you went back home you’d… you know… wanna end this.”

“Keith,” Lance breathed, moving to sit up in the bed next to him. “Keith I would have never thought that. I wanted nothing more than to just see you and be near you again.” He reached over and took Keith’s hands in his. “You’ve never disappointed me. If anyone was gonna mess this up… it was me.”

“Lance, no—”

“Look, let’s just be real for a second here,” Lance laughed humorlessly, dropping his hands to the bed with a loud bounce. “I’ve sort of been barreling my way through this relationship, half cocked. I mean, I’m the one who pushed us into it—”

“Which was a good thing,” Keith insisted.

“I started our first real fight,” Lance said.

“So what?”

“I don’t know, I just felt like I was gonna mess this up at some point,” Lance said with a shrug. He went to open his mouth but paused, the words forming on his tongue before he voiced them aloud. “And part of me… part of me thinks that you’re gonna… we’re gonna break up eventually… that I’m gonna do something that’s gonna make you wanna break up with me.”

That hurt Keith. Not that he hadn’t had that exact thought himself, but hearing it come from Lance was like he’d confirmed that their relationship hanging on by a thread. He just didn’t know when it was going to fall.

“And…” Lance continued. “And I just can’t stand the thought of messing something up and you hating me later for it. So if I could just be… be perfect for you, then… I don’t know… it doesn’t make much sense but that’s just how I feel.”

“I understand,” Keith nodded. “I feel the same way.”

They both just looked at each other waiting for something to happen.

“So what do we do now?” Lance asked.

“I don’t know,” Keith said.

They were silent for a while, just sitting on the bed next to each other. It was like a chasm had formed between them and they were standing on opposite cliff edges, waiting to fall together. And Keith hated it.

“You know what?” Keith said suddenly, startling Lance. “Fuck it.”

“What?” Lance said confused.

“Who cares? Who cares if our relationship isn’t perfect? I don’t care,” Keith shook his head. “I don’t care that you live in New York or fucking Timbuktu—I literally do not care.”

“Keith—”

“No hold on, we’re so fucking preoccupied with us living far apart that we literally forgot that we’re here together, right now ,” Keith said with a smile of disbelief. “Like look,” he pulled his hands from Lance’s grasp and placed them on Lance’s face, “I’m literally holding your face, with my actual hands. I never get to do this.”

Lance let out a small laugh. “Yeah you’re right.” He reached his hands forward and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. “I’m touching your hair, I miss that.”

“Exactly,” Keith said happily. “And look,” Keith leaned in kissed Lance. “I never get to kiss you when I want to,” he breathed as he pulled back. “I’m not gonna waste any more time worrying about it not being perfect.”

“You’re right,” Lance said tenderly, sliding his hands down from Keith’s scalp to his jaw.

“We’re here right now,” Keith said. “We’ll worry about later on, later on. Right now, can you just… just kiss me and we forget that we’re fucking idiots?”

“Yeah,” Lance breathed as he leaned in to seal their mouths together.

Notes:

im gonna update like 3ish chapters to make up for being gone for like, a month. lmao

Chapter 10: you can pry this small family out of my cold, dead, gay hands

---

Sometime later, after getting dressed and leaving Keith’s room and eating a very late brunch, Lance and Keith found themselves enlisted in helping to take down the giant Christmas tree in the living room. Before they’d started helping, Thace and Ulaz had begun taken down the truly enormous amount of ornaments and laid them all out on the table, ready to be put back into their boxes and stowed back in the giant red bin for next year. Lance and Keith had been placed in reboxing duty, sat at the dining room table with a pile of boxes and field of ornaments and told to repack while Thace and Ulaz fought with the strings of lights still clinging tightly to the tree.

Normally reboxing was something Keith did—and loathed— on his own without help. But with Lance there helping him, making small comments on all the different ornaments, keeping him organized, and just generally being here next to him, the task didn’t seem so arduous.  

“Oh we have this one on our tree too,” Lance smiled, holding a small picture frame ornament in the shape of a house that had a tiny picture of Thace, Ulaz, and Keith from when they had taken a cruise vacation in the summer after Keith’s 8th grade year. “Only instead of   A Happy Family it says Una Familia Feliz on the bottom here,” he said pointing to the embossed words at the very bottom. “Not for any other reason other than my mom thinks it’s her Hispanic Obligation to get the spanish version of every Hallmark ornament.” Keith let out a small huffed laugh out his nose.

“Her hispanic obligation?” Thace repeated from behind them, amused.

“Yeah, she’s kinda obnoxious,” Lance said turning around in his chair to look back at Thace who was trying to unknot a huge ball of string lights. “It’s not even an “I can’t speak english” thing because she immigrated here when she was like five and grew up in West New York. It’s really just an obnoxious hispanic thing.”

“Are both your parents Cuban immigrants?” Ulaz asked, looking around the side of the tree from where he was currently elbow deep in the branches trying to unwind the wires of the lights and extension cords.

“Yeah,” Lance nodded. “My mom came here was she was five with my grandparents in the late 1960’s, like either 1968 or 67, I don’t remember. But my dad came here much later in the early 1970’s after he and his family fled to Mexico for a few years right at the start of the revolution. Then they went to Florida for a year and then moved up to New York.”

“Do you guys have any specific Cuban holiday traditions?”

“Yeah, a few,” Lance nodded. “Mostly for Christmas though, like Nochebuena for Christmas Eve. And we keep our tree up until past the 6th of January. You know, Three Kings Day.”

“Ah,” Thace nodded. “You guys are able to maintain your tree that long? After the 26th’s I’m itching to take this thing down,” he motioned to the tree. “Literally itching, those pine needles get everywhere. I can’t wait to set this thing on fire.”

“No, um we actually have a fake tree,” Lance smiled. “Yeah when I was little we had real tree until I think I was in 3rd grade when our tree caught fire. After that my parents were like “no more real trees” and my mom went to the Fortunoff after Christmas sale and bought a big fake tree that we use now. My dad calls it ‘el Monstruo Arbolillo’,” he laughed. They all looked at him. “It’s funnier if you see it, because it’s kinda yellowed from time and the heat of the lights on it but also it’s huge like a monster, so it’s like a combination of tree and yellow.” They all continued to look at him. “It’s funnier if you speak spanish.”

“And do you speak spanish at home?”

“Mhm,” Lance nodded. “It’s kinda like half and half though. More when I was younger than now, but it’s kinda like Cuban spanglish now. Which is just like regular spanligsh, only you can’t curse in front of your parents in english, only in spanish, and it’s very loud.” Thace and Ulaz both found that funny and laughed.

“We don’t have many Cubans around here,” Thace said thoughtfully. “It’s a pretty Mexican area. Although I think the supermarket is owned by a Guatemalan guy.”

“Yeah I didn’t expect there to be,” Lance shrugged.

“But everyone thinks he’s Mexican because people see hispanic person and just assumed they’re Mexican because that’s the only Latin American country to them,” Keith said tersely.

Lance looked back at him with a fond smile. “I see you’ve been reading my tumblr rants.”

“I mean, you are my boyfriend,” Keith said with a one shoulder shrug. “Plus I have dealt with my fair share of racist remarks. Do you know how many time someone has asked me where in China my dad’s adopted me from?” he said annoyedly. “Like, wow super racist that you think all asians that look alike, and also, hello?” he gestured to his face. “I’m Korean. And I was born in El Paso.”

“I know sweetie,” Lance laughed. “And getting confused for being Mexican is just like par for the course of being hispanic to be perfectly honest. Do you know how many times people have legitimately asked me if I spoke mexican?”

“Seriously?” Ulaz asked from behind the tree.

“I’m dead serious,” Lance nodded. “People legitimately think we are literally all the same. Like when I was in first grade we had this international day thing at my school where we all brought in foods from our countries and cultures, and a teacher asked me why I didn’t bring in taquitos.”

“Really!?” Thace said shocked, looking a little angry.

“Yeah, I was six,” Lance said, exhaling heavily. “So there I am, little six year old me, with a big container of croquetas that my dad made fresh the night before, just crying because I thought I did something wrong. I didn’t even know what a taquito was.”

“That’s horrible,” Thace shook his head, horrified.

“Yup,” Lance nodded.

“Well, imagine trying to explain to Texans why you’re black but you have a british accent,” Ulaz said dropping a thread of string lights into a box. “Now imagine you’re their doctor and they are literally sick but they need to know where you’re from first.”

Keith watched Lance roll his eyes hard and let out the longest, most frustrated sounding “oh my god.”

“I’ve also had far too many instances where people do not wish to be treated by me because of my race,” Ulaz said with a resigned hand gesture. “Some people value their opinions over their health.”

“Ugh, white people, right?” Thace huffed indignantly. All three non white people turned to look at the only white person in the room. “...can I not say that or…?”

The three of them shared a look. “You can,” Ulaz nodded after a moment.

“I’m not ‘ugh white people’ right?” Thace asked looking between his husband and son.

“No, dad you’re good,” Keith said.

“Good,” Thace nodded turning back to taking down the string lights from the tree.

Lance turned back around to face the table and went back to looking at the picture frame ornament. “How come you’re not smiling in this picture?” Lance asked showing Keith the ornament.

Keith looked at him and sighed. “Because I had braces.”

He watched Lance’s face contorted into a mixture of awe and glee. “That’s so cute.” he lifted the picture up closer to get a better look at it. “You were so cute. And look at you with short hair, you look so different.”

Keith looked at the picture again with a distressed frown. “Ugh, I look awful.”

“No you don’t, you look adorable,” Lance said finally putting it away in it’s rightful box. “I never get to see picture of you when you were younger. I still can’t believe you’ve kept your short lived goth phase from me for so long. Especially when I told you all about the few months I was emo because my parents wouldn’t let me be scene.”

“That’s because I destroyed all the evidence of that period,” Keith said as he put away several ornaments in boxes.

“Which reminds me,” Thace said setting down the lights he was still working on. He walked over to a bookshelf and pulled out a thick deep purple colored leather bound book. “Thace I found the album the foster home gave us when we adopted Keith.”

“You did!?” Lance said excitedly, getting out of his chair so fast and rushing over to Thace.

“Oh, can we not though?” Keith said feeling mortified. “Like can we not do this?”

“But it’s baby pictures,” Lance said pleadingly. “Please?”

Keith felt his whole soul deteriorate and leave him a hollow, uncomfortable shell. “Ok,” he agreed despite the physical distaste that gathered in his mouth. He got up and trudged over to where Thace and Lance had settled on the couch together to go through the album on the coffee table in front of them. He sat down on Lance’s other side, looking over his shoulder at the first page of the album.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Here’s a copy of his birth certificate,” Thace said pointing to the black and white photocopy glued to the page. “Look at how small his feet were.” Keith listened to Lance cooed over his small ink footprint.

“You were a preemie,” Lance said surprised. “Only 4 pounds. That’s so tiny.”

“And here he’s about a year old,” Thace said turning the page. He pointed to a picture of a very small toddler Keith in the arms of a very young Korean couple. They were all dressed in matching red sweaters and had Keith sat between them on the park bench they were all sitting at. All three of them were smiling, even Keith with his few teeth.

“They were so young,” Lance said softly, gently touching the bottom of the page.

“They were still in high school,” Keith said thickly. He was older and could handle things better now as an adult, but the thought of his young parents still made him emotional. Lance must have heard the change in his voice, because he turned to him and wrapped a comforting arm around his waist.

“You look so much like your mom,” Lance said. “You have her eyes.”

Keith looked down at the photograph he’d spent so much of his life pouring over. He’d practically had it memorized, burned into his brain. It was one of only a few pictures he had of his mother. And in this moment, he realized that no one besides his dads had ever really seen it until now.

“Thanks,” he said, his mouth turning up into a soft smile.

“And this one is a year later,” Thace said turning the page. He pointed to a photo that only had an older toddler Keith with more hair, completely asleep in the arms of his also sleeping father. Only he looked much older than he had in the picture from only a year before, his hair longer, and tucked behind his ears with a scruffy, patchy beard.

“This is couple months after my mom died,” Keith said trying to sound like he wasn’t emotional. No matter how many times he thought about it, the pain always felt fresh. “My dad was in the middle of his senior year, applying to colleges, and working at a garage. That’s why he looks so stressed.”

“How do you know?” Lance asked looking over the photo.

“Because he told me,” Keith said. Lance looked at him curiously. “I lived with him until I was like 7 years old. Then he… he died, and I went into foster care.” Lance rubbed his back comfortingly. “This was his album, and we went through it together when I was really little.”

Lance looked at him, with a small empathetic smile. “It’s nice that you have memories of him though,” he said. “That you have something to think about and look back on.”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. He felt Thace’s hand rub his shoulder sympathetically. “Thanks dad,” he said looking over at him. “I’m ok, I promise.”

“I know you are,” Thace nodded. “We can stop if you want?”

He looked down at the album and then up at the two of the three people he cared about the most. “No it’s ok, we can continue.” Lance leaned into him and hugged him into his side, giving him a quick kiss on his temple before looking back at the album.

They continued to look through the pictures in the album as Keith explained each one to Lance. There were a few more pictures of his mother, some with Keith as a baby, and one of her by herself. It was the only picture of just her in the whole album, and like the other pictures of her, Keith had it ingrained in his memory.

She was sitting at a wooden table, grinning up at the camera, with her long hair tucked behind her ears as she leaned her chin in the palm of her hand. Her other hand had the tip of her forefinger resting on top of a sleek solid black knife that was stuck into the tabletop in front of her. There was nothing else remarkable about the photograph. In fact it wasn’t even completely in focus. But Keith knew every pixel.

“That’s your knife,” Lance said pointing to the photo. “Well, your mom’s knife, your knife now.”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “It’s the only thing of her’s I have left.” Lance leaned into him again, rubbing his side softly.

They were all quiet for a moment. Keith leaned against Lance’s side, resting his head on his shoulder with Lance’s arm securely around his waist. Keith wanted to break the silence, he just didn’t know what he should say.

He often found himself thinking about his biological parents, what they might have been like to grow up with, if they would have approved of him, how his life would have been different. He only got to know his father for such a short period of time— he didn’t like to admit it to himself very often, but he could barely remember what he was like. Keith could remember his face but that was mostly from the pictures he had. But he couldn’t remember his voice, his laugh, anything else about him that Keith couldn’t get from a photograph.

And his mother was a complete mystery to him. He only had the images of of the few photographs he had of her to go by, plus the vague half fabricated memories of stories his father told him when he was younger. And that was it.

Keith saw the tear hit the page before he felt himself crying. He blinked down at it confused. Slowly he lifted his hand up to his face and swiped at his left eye, pulling away to see shiny wetness on the tips of his fingers. Quickly he wiped his other eye before anyone could see he was crying, even though he knew that they all already knew.

“Let’s put this away for now,” Thace said quietly, getting up and closing the album. “That’s enough for today.” Keith watched him in his periphery walk the book over to the shelf and put it back.

“Come here,” Lance said quietly, pulling Keith close, wrapping both arms around him and holding him in a tight hug. Keith let himself fall into the hug, putting his arms around Lance and burying his face in his neck. “It’s ok, you can be upset,” he said, rubbing his back.

“I’m not upset,” Keith mumbled into his neck.

“Keith,” Lance said disbelievingly. He felt the emotion bubble up and threaten to surface and he only hugged at Lance tighter. “It’s ok, really. You can be upset.”

“I guess I still have some walls up,” Keith said, his voice thick in his throat. He shut his eyes tight but he couldn’t control the tears that gathered and began to spill down his face and onto Lance. His hands fisted in his Lance’s t-shirt, as Lance held him. “Ugh, I said I wouldn’t cry,” he whined.

“It’s alright,” he heard Ulaz say from behind him. “You were sharing this part of your life with someone new, it’s understandable that would get emotional.”

“Well I don’t like it,” Keith said sitting back from Lance’s embrace. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, frustrated at how much he was crying.

“Sorry,” Lance said quietly, his voice thin and watery like he was also on the verge of tears.

Keith looked up at him and saw how guilt ridden he looked. “It’s not your fault,” Keith said shaking his head. “I’m glad you know, and that I showed you.”

“I shouldn’t have insisted, you obviously were uncomfortable with it from the beginning and this is my fault, I’m—”

“Lance,” Keith said. He sniffled, running his hand quickly over his face to get the last of his tears. “It’s ok.” He took a deep breath, and sat back against the couch. “I want you to know those things, I just… I don’t know, I guess it’s still kinda raw.”

“I understand,” Lance nodded.

There was a pause.

“I think… this is about as good a time as any to take an ice cream break, right?” Thace suggested. He looked at all of them. “Right?”

“I think so,” Keith agreed.

Chapter 11: Soft Boys

Notes:

i totally should have updated this chapter like two days ago but oh well

---

The sun had already completely set by the time Thace and Ulaz had finished setting up and tying the wood together for the bonfire. Keith and Lance had begun helping them but soon found themselves being told to just go eat when they were spending more time, as his dad put it, “chattering like chickens” rather than helping. They relocated to the patio table to eat their dinner to be out of the way and alone.

“So you and your dad's do this every year?” Lance asked out of the side of his mouth as he took his last bite of food. He gestured over to the set up for the bonfire that Thace was just putting the finishing touches on. “The lighting of your tree on fire?”

“Mhm,” Keith nodded pushing around the last few crumbs of his leftover cornbread with his fork. He looked up at Lance sitting across from him at the patio table only a few yards away from where the bonfire set up was.

“How long have they been doing this?” he asked, turning around to get a look at the tower of wood encasing the now brittle and dry pine tree.

“My dad’s started this back before they were married— well, it wasn't called marriage back then it was a civil union, but you know what I mean,” Keith said. “I remember the first year I lived here they almost didn't do it because they were afraid that my social worker was gonna do a surprise visit on New Year's Day and they didn't want her to see a big pile of burnt ash in the backyard.” Lance laughed, turning back around in his seat to face him. “It might have slowed down the adoption process.”

“You weren't adopted when you came to live here already?” Lance asked surprised.

“Nah, that's not how it works exactly,” Keith shook his head. “I wasn't officially adopted until my 14th birthday. But,” he shrugged, “it wouldn't have mattered to me. They were my dads.”

Lance regarded him a long moment. He looked like he had a million things he wanted to say but he couldn't decide where to start. “I like your family,” he decided on after a moment.

“Thanks,” Keith said with a small smile. “I liked your family too.”

Smiling back at him, Lance reached across the table and extended his hand, leaving his face up in an open invitation. Keith eagerly placed his hand in Lance's, holding onto him and letting Lance interlock their fingers. He looked down at their hands, his paler one in Lance's tan one, and the sight made his heart swell. Keith didn't like to show that he was prone to melt at overly sappy and heartwarmingly romantic moments, but he really was having a hard time not showing just how in love with Lance he was in that moment.

But here he was, all dewy eyed and swooning just because a boy was holding his hand. Not just any boy, his boyfriend. A word he still couldn't even believe he gets to use. And yet here he was, holding his hand and smiling softly at him across the table like he couldn't believe Keith was real either.

“I love you so much,” Keith said; the words came out before he could think about them, tumbling out of his mouth and falling in front of him.

Lance smiled at him, tender and soft. “I love you so much too.” He got up on his feet and leaned over the table and pressed his lips to the back of Keith's hand and then sat back down. Lance’s thumb lightly rubbed against his own as they held hands across the table. “So you're gonna kiss me at midnight, right?” he asked coyly. “When the clock strikes twelve and it's the New Year.”

Keith blinked at him. “I totally forgot that was a thing.”

“Really!?” Lance said in surprise.

“Yeah I swear, I completely forgot,” Keith nodded. “I've just, you know, never had the opportunity so I didn't think about it.” Lance looked at him with what seemed like a mixture of sad and deflated. “But—but of course I'm going to kiss you at midnight,” he added quickly. “I'm glad it's you that I get to, you know, do that with first.”

Lance smiled softly at him. “I'm glad I get to be your first.” Keith felt his heart beat a bit faster in his chest. “First New Year's Eve kiss that is, of course,” Lance added with a knowing grin.

“Of—of course,” Keith repeated. Lance's grin grew wider and Keith's face grew redder. His eyes were glued to Lance's knowing smirk but his mind was on the box of condoms in his desk. “Actually, um, about that I—”

“Hey guys come on over! We're gonna light it now,” Thace called out to them from the bonfire set up all ready to be set ablaze.

Lance and Keith looked over at him before looking back at each other. “What were you gonna say?”

“It's ok, it can, uh it can wait,” Keith said trying not to sound so nervous.

“You sure?” Lance asked.

“Yeah come on,” Keith said getting up from the table and pulling Lance over to his dads’ without unlocking their fingers.

He walked them over, holding Lance's hand the whole time, enjoying the warmth and the weight of it. It still felt sort of weird for him to be so outwardly affectionate with someone in front of them— but he was getting used to it. And if was being honest with himself, he loved it.

Of course it was still kind of awkward but at the same time he could show his dads’ just how serious he was about this. That Lance meant something important to him. That he was treating this relationship as something real. That he wanted his dads’ to know it was serious too.

And judging by the looks on their faces as they came to stand next to them, Keith could tell that they believed this relationship was real and important to Keith. Ulaz gave Keith a tender smile as he looked down from Keith's face to where Lance's and his hands were interlocked, standing beside a grinning Thace was had one arm around his husband’s waist and the other with a lit match.

“Ready?” Thace asked.

“Yeah, light ‘em up,” Keith nodded.

Thace took a slight step forward and tossed the lit match into the lighter fuel soaked tinder wood at the heavy bottom of the bonfire set up. Igniting in a burst, the flames died down slightly after the íntial tall flame, leaving a burning tower of fire delicately crackling in front of them. The dry pine needles and branches quickly caught fire, burning and dying out within a few minutes leaving a distinct pine smell coming from the fire.

“Oh I guess we’re late,” Shiro’s voice came from behind them. They all turned around and saw him carrying a dry and slightly smaller bare pine tree on his shoulder followed closely behind by Matt who looked like he was carrying a cooler with both hands.

“Not too late that we can’t toss your in the pile,” Thace said going over to him and helping him with the tree. “Hi Matt, nice to see you again.”

“Hello Thace, thanks for inviting me. Where can I put this? It’s mostly beer,” Matt said clearly struggling to hold onto the cooler for much longer.

“I’ll take that,” Ulaz said walking over and getting it from his hands. He walked it over to near the table and began accommodating the other drinks they had in the cooler.

With a small wave, Matt walked over to where Keith and Lance were standing a little further away from the bonfire and Thace and Shiro tossed in his tree. “Hey guys,” Matt said, stuffing his hands in his front pockets. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” Lance said as Keith just gave him a half nod half shrug. “I didn’t know you were coming?”

“Yeah Thace told Shiro that I was welcome to over,” Matt nodded. Lance gave him a surprised look. “He asks for my computer help from time to time and he knows I’m friends with Shiro, so yeah.”

“Oh yeah speaking of Shiro,” Lance said lowering his voice slightly and leaning into Matt with a knowing grin. “Did uh, you know, like did anything happen last night?”

“Last night? No,” Matt laughed sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “We were both pretty drunk and super tired.”

“You guys were incredibly drunk,” Keith said remembering the ordeal it was to get them into Shiro’s rental. How he had to half carry/half drag Shiro and then Matt into the small house. And how he dropped them haphazardly in Shiro’s bedroom hoping they could get themselves to bed if they wanted to. “You puked in a garbage can outside a convenience store.”

“Yeah I know, sorry about that,” Matt winced. “Not my proudest moment. Neither was knocking the fuck out on the floor of Shiro’s bedroom and waking up with my head under his bed on his shoe.”

“But what about your plan?” Lance asked still keeping his voice low. “Did you not tell Shiro last night?”

“Well no, I didn’t,” Matt said with a resigned shrug.

“Oh damn, I’m sorry man,” Lance said sounding sad, taking his hand that wasn’t still holding Keith’s and placing it on Matt’s shoulder comfortingly. “But you still have time, you don’t leave for two more days. Well… one more day.”

“Yeah that’s true,” Matt said evasively. “But I mean, I did say I didn’t tell him last night.” He paused and looked around behind Keith and Lance to make sure they were still far enough away from everyone else. “I didn’t say anything about this morning ,” he added smugly.

“Matt you tricky bitch, you had me going there,” Lance tisked shoving lightly at Matt’s shoulder excitedly. “Tell me everything.”

“Ok well,” Matt began taking a step closer to Lance and lowering his head slightly so he talk more quietly. “So I wake up in his room, like half under his bed and super hungover right?” Lance nodded excitedly but Keith was a bit wary of where the story was going to go, not quite in the mood to hear about the gory details of his best friend’s romantic life. “And he’s like also passed out half on the bed half off and he’s like “um maybe you wanna go get breakfast?” so of course I’m like sure, like always.”

“Of course,” Lance nodded.

“Right so we go to this diner and we’re ordering coffee and food and stuff and he’s sitting across from me and he’s just like… like unfairly hot. Like he’s literally hung the fuck over, he’s wearing the clothes he was wearing last night, his hair was kind disheveled, and he’s pouring about 30 pounds of sugar into his coffee mug and I just sorta… say it.” Matt bit his lip glancing over their shoulder again to make sure they were still unheard.

“Say what?” Keith asked.

“I’m in love with you,” Matt said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean for it to come out so blunt it just sorta fell out of my mouth.”

“And what did he say?” Lance asked very interested.

“He just kinda blinked at me like he hadn’t heard me correctly or like he was trying to process what I said,” Matt said. “And then right then our food arrived and then we both sorta didn’t say anything about it for the rest of our meal and I felt super awkward and it was so awful.” He put his head in his hands, cradling his face.

“Oh Matt I’m so sorry,” Lance said empathically patting his shoulder again. “It’s ok, you did the most you could do. It happens.”

“Yes,” Matt agreed sounding evasive again. “But then when we left—“

“Oh Jesus Matt, tell the whole story all at once and stop fucking with my emotions,” Lance reprimanded, shoving at his shoulder playfully again.

“So when we left, we got in his truck again and he started driving really fast,” Matt said. He began to laugh, “for a second I thought he was driving me out to some secluded place to kill me.” He laughed, “Boy was I wrong.” Lance gave him an excited little punch in the arm and let out a few happy squeaks.

“What did he drive you there for then?” Keith asked.

Both Lance and Matt sent Keith an incredulous look. “Babe,” Lance said flatly, looking incredulous.

“Keith,” Matt said still looking at like Keith was missing the obvious.

Keith looked between them, still confused. “What?”

“He fucked me in his apartment,” Matt said like it was obvious. He turned to Lance and added in a much lower, much more excited voice, “I came thrice. Thrice.”

“Dude! Holy shit—my dude—I’m so happy for you! Ok ok you need to tell me everything,” Lance said letting go of Keith’s hand and pulling Matt even closer to him and lowering his voice to barely audible above the crackling of the bonfire behind them. “How was it? Is he really good? I imagined he’d be like a sort of gentle but rough kinda guy, and he can just throw you around with those muscles.”

“Oh my god he can and he did,” Matt added in a gossipy tone.

Keith took a deep breath and stayed back from their conversation; he had no interest in hearing what his best friend was like in bed. Literally at all. He tried not to listen but after hearing snippets about Shiro’s washboard abs and his nimble yet dexterous fingers, Keith had heard enough and wandered back over to where Thace and Shiro were talking while admiring the bonfire.

“—but yeah don’t worry, take the day tomorrow,” Thace was in the middle of saying to Shiro. “There’s not a whole bunch that we were going to do but the main stuff I can do, or at least get someone else to help with.”

“Thanks a lot Thace,” Shiro said with relief.

“Of course,” Thace nodded. He looked around Shiro and saw Keith standing there. “Oh look, there’s one of my helpers now. One of my top best employees. So good that I wanted to legally keep him forever.”

“Hilarious,” Keith said dryly, even though he always did find his dad’s adoption humor amusing.

“You know I’m messing with you,” Thace said reaching over and tousling Keith’s hair. “I’m not legally required to keep you anymore, you’re over 18.”

“And that joke just gets funnier and funnier the older I get, dad,” Keith said trying to fix his hair.

“I know it does,” Thace nodded. “I’m gonna go grab a beer do either if you want anything?”  

“I’m good,” Shiro said shaking his head quickly, trying his best not to look disgusted at the thought of putting any more alcohol into his body.

“I’m ok thanks,” Keith said. Thace nodded and them and turned and walked away towards the cooler. There was a brief moment of silence between Shiro and Keith, the only sounds being the crackling wood and the hot air coming off the fire. “So,” Keith said breaking the tension. “You and Matt huh?”

With a small exhale, Shiro glanced at Keith from the corner of his eye. “Is this disapproval?”

“No, no not at all,” Keith said quickly. “The opposite. I’m just surprised is all.”

“Surprised?”

“Yeah, I mean,” Keith shifted in place awkwardly. “I never knew that you liked him. You never said anything.”

He watched Shiro’s mouth turn downward slightly at the corner. “I…” He took a breath again, as if he wasn’t sure where to begin the sentence. “I didn’t know myself.”

Keith blinked at him, having a weird sense of deja vu. “You… you didn’t?”

“Not until he said something at least,” Shiro said shuffling in place.

“What do you mean?”

“Like—” Shiro sighed glancing back over at where Matt and Lance were still huddled gossiping together. He stepped slightly closer to Keith, and lowered his voice when he spoke. “It’s like, I knew that I had feelings for him but I didn’t know that I knew until he said he did. Does that makes sense?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “I mean, no, but I understand you.”

Shiro gave him a thankful half smile. “Thanks, I felt like you would.”

“This is kinda what Lance was feeling for me back in June,” Keith continued. “Like he didn’t realize that he liked me until I was there with him and I, um… you know, kissed him. So this makes sense. He’s leaving and it’s high emotion and he broke the ice and everything clicked for you.”

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded, looking past Keith back over at Matt and Lance. “It did.”

Keith eyed him, watching the stupidly fond look on his face as Shiro looked a Matt. “So what now?”

He watched the fond look slowly drip from his face. “I’m not sure,” Shiro said quietly. “I mean he’s leaving.”

“Yeah.”

“And he’ll be gone for so long, and I don’t know if he’s coming back to school here afterward,” Shiro continued.

“Right.”

“And six months away from each other is such a long time, I mean Allura and I didn’t even spend that much time apart and we broke up. How can I expect us to survive being apart so long?” Keith looked away, biting his tongue. Shiro must have realized what he’d said because he looked at Keith apologetically. “I didn’t mean to say that people can’t—”

“It’s fine, I understand,” Keith said tightly.

“No Keith wait, what I meant to say was—”

“Shiro, it’s fine,” Keith said again, looking up at him. “You have every reason to be concerned and doubtful,” he paused letting out a small sigh, “I know I was. But Shiro,” Keith looked up at Shiro with a serious expression, “my doubt and my fear that a long distance relationship couldn’t be done almost completely sabotaged my relationship from the get go. We still are having some… issues I guess, because of how apprehensive I was about long distance. Don’t start your relationship off like that.”

Shiro looked at him appreciatively, nodding his head. “Yeah ok you’re right,” he said.

“I’m not saying don’t be honest with him but being overly cautious might hurt you guys in the long run.”

“No yeah I get you, and you’re right,” Shiro said. “Matt’s…” he looked off towards him again with a small smile, “he’s worth the effort.”

Keith smiled up at his best friend, the swirling sense of deja vu in the pit of his stomach rising up in his chest. “I’m glad you feel this way. And I hope it all works out between you guys. I like Matt— even if he is a messy drunk.”

“Yeah he is,” Shiro laughed. “I’m going go over there and hang out with him now. I miss him.” And without waiting for Keith to follow, Shiro walked over to Matt and Lance, calling out to them as he approached.

Not wanting to be left alone, Keith followed behind, walking over to be next to Lance. He came up to stand slightly behind him, slinging his arm around Lance’s waist, who instantly leaned into his touch. He moved closer towards him instinctively as he spoke without pause.

He and Matt were still talking but they’d moved on from his sex life to gossip about people they knew from New York. Keith looked over at Shiro who was standing beside Matt in a similar way with his hand resting on Matt’s lower back as he listened to him and Lance chat. He looked like he was slightly apprehensive about his decision to be openly affectionate with Matt, but judging by the way that Matt moved unconsciously to stand even closer to him he seemed to have made the right decision.

---

As the hours passed and midnight crawled closer and the bonfire flame grew less intense, they all scattered around the yard and settled in different more secluded areas.

Sitting on the porch swing, Thace and Ulaz sat together using just the tips of their feet to lazily move the swing back and forth. Ulaz has his long arm wrapped around Thace’s shoulders and was listening intently as Thace spoke to him in a low voice. Every so often Ulaz would give him a small smile and Thace would return it.

Shiro had at some point helped Matt up to sit on top of the side edge of the outdoor table. He had both hands on either side of Matt’s hips as he stood between his legs with Matt’s forearms resting on Shiro’s shoulders with his hands interlocked loosely behind his neck as they spoke quietly to each other. Their heads were tilted in close to each other and once in a while, while listening to Matt talk, Shiro would lean in and press his lips to Matt’s briefly before moving back and resume listening.

And separated from the rest of them, leaning with their backs against the halved logs that Thace had set up in a semi circle as benches, sitting on the grass a few feet from the fire. Keith had his left arm wrapped around Lance’s shoulders who was leaning heavily into his side with his right arm draped over Keith’s bent knees. Lance’s head was tilted back against Keith’s chest twisted upward as he spoke softly.

“This is really nice,” Lance said quietly. The tips of his fingers absentmindedly ran up and down Keith’s calf, tracing lose shapes into his jeans. “Sitting here with you, by the fire, on New Years. It’s very romantic.”

Keith smiled down at him, looking at Lance’s upside down face against his chest. “It is isn’t it?” Keith nodded. “Not my intention. I just sort of keep stumbling into these romantic scenarios.”

“Well you’re really good at it,” Lance said shifting even closer. “The stumbling I mean. Keep stumbling.”

“I’ll definitely do that,” Keith smirked pulling his arm around Lance even tighter.

He sighed softly against him, bringing up his other hand to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. “I’m not ready to leave you yet,” Lance said with a small frown a few minutes later. “I know I have a couple more days but it’s not enough. I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t want you to go either,” Keith admitted softly. “But you’re here right now,” he lowered his head enough to press a small kiss to Lance’s forehead. “Like I said, we’ll think about later on, later on. Right now you’re here and I’m gonna focus on that.”

“Yeah you’re right,” Lance nodded.

He could tell Lance wasn’t placated completely by that answer; it just wasn’t how he operated. “Ok, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Lance said quickly. Keith looked at him disbelievingly. He sighed, “it’s just that it’s hard for me not to think about it. I mean it’s all I can think about.”

“I know,” Keith said.

“Like I’m here and I’m so happy but at the same time I know how much I’m…  I’m gonna miss you later,” Lance frowned. “It makes you think, you know?”

“Think about what?” Keith asked.

“About how important this is to me,” Lance said going back to tracing lines on Keith’s calf. “How important you are to me… That I hope that I’m that important to you.”

“Of course you are,” Keith said seriously.

“I know,” Lance said quickly. He hesitated, as if his had a prepared thought on the tip of his tongue but he wasn’t sure how it would sound.

“What is it?” Keith pressed.

“I just also been thinking,” Lance continued carefully, pointedly not looking up at Keith. “And you can say no of course because I know we’ve sort of talked about it and we weren’t ready before and we both had reservations about it and—and maybe we're not even ready yet but I feel like I might be especially now that we kinda talked about it—“

“Lance just tell me—“

“I want to have sex with you,” Lance said all at once in a rush, looking up at him. Keith blinked down at him, dry mouthed. “I obviously will wait until you’re ready because I know we had that whole conversation before but I feel like if we’re both so worried what the other one gonna think why don’t we just, I don’t know, just do it.” Keith continued to stare blankly at him but Lance seemed to be standing his ground. “I—I want to do it. I love you and I’m ready and I want to be close with you and so… yeah… I’m—I’m ready.”

“I—ok,” Keith swallowed.

“Ok?” Lance repeated skeptically. “Ok as in ok, or ok as in ok I heard you?”

“Both.”

“So… yeah I mean you’re ok with that?” Lance asked nervously.

“Lance like I said earlier, I’m done being scared that I’m not perfect,” Keith said honestly. “I mean, I’m still probably gonna be super insecure don’t get me wrong.” Lance chuckled softly, “But I can’t… I just can’t spend our entire relationship thinking I’m gonna fuck it up. Because then I really am gonna fuck it up.”

“Yeah I get you,” Lance nodded. “To be perfectly honest, I’m also gonna be super insecure,” he added with a laugh. “But I think I’m ready to, you know, take that next step with you.”

“Me too,” Keith smiled.

Lance smiled softly back at him and they just held each other for a long moment. Keith could feel the swirling of excitement and nerves in his stomach but somehow knowing Lance felt the same way, that he was feeling that same spinning nervous energy, made Keith feel calm.

Keith was too preoccupied with Lance and their whispered conversation to hear when his dad announced they were only a few minutes from midnight. By the time he realized it was when Ulaz was handing them both flutes with champagne and telling them to come inside to watch the ball drop.

Holding his glass in one hand and Lance’s hand in the other, Keith got up and followed everyone else inside to the living room. The live New Year's footage was playing on the tv and Thace was already waving everyone to come in as the event hosts said there was only seconds left before the ball drops.

He was sat on the couch arm rest, next to Ulaz with his arm thrown over the back of the couch. Shiro and Matt were standing with Matt’s back against Shiro’s chest watching the tv from the far wall. And Keith stood hand in hand with Lance next to the couch.

“To a good year,” Ulaz said raising his glass to everyone as the ball on the television began to drop. Everyone raised their glasses as the countdown began on the tv.

“10, 9, 8…”

“It has been a good year,” Lance grinned squeezing his hand.

“Yeah,” Keith smiled softly.

“7, 6, 5…”

“I love you Keith,” Lance added quietly leaning into him, turning his face towards him.

“4, 3…”

“I love you too,” Keith said tilting his head up to him.

“2, 1! Happy New Year!”

Keith leaned in and closed the distance between them, sealing his mouth to Lance’s. His soft lips gently moved against his own in a feeling Keith had come to think of as home. Their kiss was brief but it left Keith feeling breathless when Lance slowly pulled away. His eyes flickered open to see the same soft, blissed out expression on Lance’s face.

“Happy New Year y’all,” Thace said clapping a hand onto Keith’s shoulder and shaking them both back into reality.

“Happy New Year Dad,” Keith said looking away from Lance. He saw that his dad had his champagne flute raised up expectantly. He lifted his own and clinked them together and then against Lance’s and the three of them took a sip.

“Well we should put out that bonfire and then head to bed,” Ulaz said setting his empty glass down on the coffee table. “I don’t know about you, but staying up for midnight get’s harder every year.”

“Oh thank god I’m not the only one,” Thace said with relief, putting down his own empty glass. “New Year’s is a young man’s game. I’m exhausted.” They both walked out the back door into the yard to put out the low dying fire still burning away outside.

“Actually we should probably get going too,” Shiro said collecting his and Matt’s empty glasses and walking them into the kitchen.

“I still have to pack,” Matt said disappointedly. “Obviously I left it all for the last possible day, because of course I did.”

“I totally get you,” Lance nodded. “I didn’t finish packing for this trip until the morning before i got on the plane. Plus I overpack.”

“Oh same,” Matt agreed.

“Matt are you ready?” Shiro said walking from the kitchen. His keys were in his hand and he was already slipping his feet back into his boots not bothering with laces.

“Yeah,” he nodded before turning back to Lance and Keith. “I leave after tomorrow so if I don’t see you guys again before I head out, goodbye.”

“We’ll make a point of seeing you tomorrow,” Lance said.

“Ok good, I’ll see you tomorrow—well later today,” Matt said with a light laugh. He turned and walked towards Shiro, taking his extended hand as they left.

It took a couple of seconds for Keith to realize that meant he and Lance were alone now. It seemed to also be what Lance was thinking as they both looked at each other expectantly. There was a long stretch of silence where neither of them said a word. Keith opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to think of something to say but he was coming up short. Lance clearly felt the same way from the way that he visibly swallowed.

After a few moments of staring at each other, they burst out laughing at how ridiculous they were both being.

“This is silly,” Lance said placing his empty glass down. “Why are we like this?”

“I don’t know, because we’re dumb maybe?” Keith offered, putting down his own glass. He looked up, forcing himself to look and sound less nervous than he actually was. “Do you wanna like… go back to my room now?”

The implication was thick in the air between them and Keith felt like he’d basically started to strip down right then and there for all the embarrassment he was feeling bubbling inside him. But he squashed it down, extending a hand to Lance which he took with a small smile as they walked through the house and to his bedroom.

Chapter 12: Start The Year Off With A Bang

Summary:

literally

Notes:

yo who's ready for 6k of porn?

---

Keith was nervous. Not that he wasn't trying to hide it, he absolutely was.

He was sitting on his bed, staring at the bathroom door waiting for Lance to come out. When they’d got to his room Lance had told him to wait a few minutes while he got ready, and Keith was obviously ok with—he just had no idea what to do with himself in the meantime.

At first he was just standing there awkwardly, pretending like he totally wasn’t waiting for his boyfriend to come back so they could have sex. And that made him feel super comfortable so he moved to the bed. Now sitting there he felt like he looked exactly the same only sitting down.

Drumming his fingers on his knee, Keith looked down and saw that he was still wearing his shoes. Glancing at the bathroom door every few seconds, Keith bent over and pulled of his shoes and socks, tossing them unceremoniously into a corner of his room. Now he was sitting on his bed fully dressed with no shoes or socks on and somehow he felt more ridiculous.

His gaze bore into the wood of the bathroom door for what felt like impossibly long hours, but when he looked down at his phone it’d been under a minute since they’d walked into his room. Letting out a slow shaky breath, he forced himself to relax, leaning back on the bed in a pose that hopefully looked relaxed and alluring and not awkward and nervous, like he actually felt. It took about two seconds of trying to relax when he remembered that his bedroom door wasn’t locked and a spike of panic shot down his spine. Keith jumped up and rushed over to the door and quickly turned the lock on the knob—he didn’t think his parents would just burst in on them, but he wasn’t taking any chances.

Now that he was standing up he surveyed the room; an unmade bed, some clothes on the desk chair, Lance’s open suitcase on the floor, a couple random cups filled to various amounts with water. It was not exactly the sexiest looking location. Glancing at the still closed door and hoping he had a few more seconds, Keith quickly grabbed his discarded clothes and bundled them up in one hand and tossed them into the closet, closing the door quickly behind them. He gathered all the cups and poured them into each other and placed them behind a few photo frames so they wouldn’t be seen. And he messily pulled at the blankets on his bed trying to flatten them as best he could so it looked slightly more presentable. Keith squinted in the darkness of his room, only really lit by the glow from his computer charger and the light coming from the bathroom. On a whim so as to not fumble around in the dark, he leaned over and plugged in his salt lamp, bringing a soft pink light to the corner of the room.

He glanced at the door again. This time he heard Lance behind the door. Swallowing nervously, Keith dropped himself back on the edge of the bed, facing the door waiting for him. He took a steadying breath when he remembered the condoms and lube in his desk. Quickly, he reached over and opened up the drawer where he’d stashed them and placed them on top of the desk.

Keith stared at the unopened container of lube and the fresh box of condoms. Deciding that it looked insane to have an entire box of brand new condoms right there, he tore into the box and pulled out a few, laying them on his desk and put the rest away in the drawer. Next he grabbed the bottle of lube and began trying to remove the plastic around the lid, resorting to using his teeth when he heard the bathroom door unlock and he tossed the bottle back on the desk unopened.

As the door opened, he re-adjusted himself back on the bed sitting normally like he hadn’t been fiddling around with stuff in his room. The bathroom light had been turned off and so Keith watched Lance step out slowly, illuminated in a delicate pink glow. Keith let out a small exhale to calm his nervous but he could hear his blood rushing in his ears. He’d never been more nervous in his life— maybe when he’d stepped off the plane to meet Lance for the first time.  

“Hey,” Lance said softly, breaking the silence. He stepped out of the bathroom completely, closing the door behind him.

Keith didn’t know what to do, so he stood up. “H—hey,” he said back. He didn’t know what to do with his hands or how to stand or if to walk over to him or not. It felt like he’d completely forgotten how to be a person.

Luckily Lance hadn’t. He walked over to Keith, smiling softly at him, putting a gentle hand on the side of his face. “You alright? You look nervous.”

“I’m—I’m ok,” Keith said nodding his head. “I’m uh—” he cleared his throat, “—I’m a little nervous, but I’m ok.”

“We don’t have to do this you know,” Lance said lowering his hand. “It doesn’t have to be now. We can do it later. There’s no rush.”

“I’d uh… like to, um, do it now… if that’s ok with you?” Keith said shifting in place.

He watched the smile grow on Lance’s face as he leaned in and closed the distance between them. Lance’s lips pressed against Keith’s and it was like all the nerves that were flooding his body rushed out of him. He fell easily into their established rhythm, letting Lance lead the way.

As Lance’s hands found their way onto his hips and neck, Keith felt his body start to relax. His fingers grazed the edges of Lance’s sleeves, slowly moving up his arms and towards his face. Keith could feel and hear Lance let out a soft sigh against him, pulling Keith even closer to him.

Keith wasn’t sure how long they stood there, testing the waters and finding their groove, but he found his knees hitting the back of the bed before he even realized they’d been moving towards it. With no resistance, he let Lance maneuver him onto the bed, laying down on his back as Lance kneeled over him. He used his elbows to push himself up more on the bed until his head hit the pillow, giving Lance more room to crawl over him.

Now, laying down completely on the bed, Keith lifted his hands again and placed them on either side of Lance’s face, holding him as they kissed, his fingertips playing with the soft ends of Lance’s hair. His legs were spread slightly, allowing Lance to fit one of his legs between and press his knee up against his groin with a light pressure that Keith wanted to move down hard against. Carefully, Keith bent his leg so that he could find some friction against Lance and felt him grinding down subtly on his thigh.

Their pace had started off slow and careful but started to increase and become less controlled by the moment. What began as a hesitant grind turned into a full rut, with Keith and Lance both barely keeping their mouths connected as they panted and gasped, their hands gripping onto one another. Keith had moved his hands so they were fisted in Lance’s shirt, holding onto his back while he moved himself against Lance’s thigh. And resting on his forearms, Lance was still barely hovering over Keith as he ground down on his thigh.

“Kei—Keith,” Lance managed to gasp, his voice throaty and tight. “I need—I need to see you. Can I please just like…” he moved his hand so he was pushing up at Keith’s shirt exposing his stomach.

“Yeah,” Keith breathed, nodding as unclenched his hands from Lance’s shirt and started clumsily pulling at his own.

Lance leaned back, giving themselves space to pull off their shirts, tossing them uncaringly off to the side of the bed. Keith struggled with his, awkwardly trying to get it over his head while lying down but eventually, after taking off his own shirt, Lance helped him and threw it off the bed behind him. Letting out a shaky breath, Lance placed his hands on Keith’s chest, sliding them down slowly to his taut abdomen. Not exactly knowing what to do next, Keith just silently watched Lance move to straddle his lap, sitting back on his heels as his fingertips traced the lines of his abdominal muscles.

“You’re… gorgeous,” Lance whispered with a small laugh. Keith felt his face heat up, and he turned his head to hide a half smile. “I mean you really are. Like I knew this already but like… wow.”

Keith looked up at Lance sitting above him. Though not as overtly muscular as Keith was, Lance still had a sinewy look about him just in a much more leaner way that gave a much more softer appearance. His flushed cheeks and kiss red lips only looked pinker in the dim pink hue of his salt lamp that cast a warm ethereal glow on him making the rest of his tan look an almost rose gold.

If anyone looked gorgeous here, it was Lance. But Keith wasn’t even sure if he had control enough over his mouth and brain to form those words. So instead he settled for taking ahold of Lance’s hands and threading their fingers together. And with a small tug he pulled Lance down again for a kiss. Much less frantic than before, Keith pressed his lips against Lance’s, taking his time to build a rhythm.

Slower than before and with more direction, Lance rolled his hips down against Keith. The friction between them made Keith gasp softly into Lance’s mouth, feeling himself grow in his ever tightening jeans. Keeping one hand still interlocked, Lance slide the other down the length of Keith’s chest, pausing to thumb at his nipple before moving to rub him through his jeans.

Keith’s reaction was immediate. Turning his head to the side to catch his breath, he let out a small moan. He could feel Lance’s mouth work across his jaw and down his exposed neck, his hand still rubbing at him over his jeans. Keith lifted his hips slightly seeking more and more friction from Lance.

“Keith,” Lance breathed hotly against the skin of his neck. “Keith can I? Please?” He moved his fingers so they were poised at the waistband of Keith’s jeans, dipping slightly underneath and fingering the band of his briefs.

It took a second before Keith could find his voice to answer. “Ye—yes.”

Without wasting a moment, Lance’s hand undid the button and zipper on Keith’s jeans with surprising dexterity and he quickly moved the fabric out of the way. Dipping his fingers under the cloth of Keith’s briefs, Lance’s hand slid over Keith’s hardening dick. Instantly, Keith moved his free hand up the bed behind his head to rake his fingers down the sheets, closing his eyes and turning his head to the side as he let himself forget about everything but Lance’s hand on him.

Lance’s hand found a smooth rhythm, stroking him slowly up and down, and thumbing at the precum, smearing it around the head. His mouth was latched onto Keith’s neck, switching between sucking a bruise and licking at the skin gently. Lance had his legs straddled on Keith’s thigh, rubbing himself down against him in time with his strokes.

“Lance—Lance, I’m— I’m gonna cum if you keep going,” Keith gasped out after a few minutes. His free hand weakly brushed at Lance’s hair as the one still holding Lance’s hand tightened its grip.

“It's ok,” Lance whispered, lifting his head from where it had been buried in Keith's neck. “Cum now so you'll last longer later.”

That was all Keith needed to hear before he felt his release spill all over Lance’s hand. He let out a low choking gasp as Lance stroked him through it, slowing down as Keith came down. Letting his eyes flutter open, Keith looked at Lance’s face that was inches from his own and immediately closed the gap between them.

“Keith,” Lance breathed against his lips. “I want you...”

Feeling sort of spent but not completely gone, Keith took a moment to catch his breath before answering. “Ok,” he said nodding. He could feel Lance was still hard in his pants and he knew it'd take a few more minutes before he'd get there again. Maybe even less with the way Lance was whispering and grinding against him.

“I’m gonna um… I’m gonna prep myself ok?” Lance said removing his warm hand from Keith’s dick and leaning up from him, leaving Keith feeling slightly cold. He looked around the dimly lit room, over the edge of the bed and at the chair where the was a pile of clothes and towels until just a few minutes ago. “Let me get you something to clean you up with.”

“Um in my bathroom there’s a hand towel,” Keith said leaning up on his elbows.

Lance nodded and got off the bed, moving sort of awkwardly. He went into the bathroom without turning on the light and grabbed the hand towel. Keith could hear the sink and Lance washing his cum from his hands. He dropped back against the bed, waiting for Lance to come back when he felt a soft towel cleaning him up.

“You didn’t get cum on your jeans,” Lance said folding the towel in half and dropping it onto the floor next to the bed. “That’s good at least,” he smirked. He was kneeling next to Keith on the bed, looking flushed but grinning.

“Thank god for small miracles,” Keith joked putting himself back into his briefs, and pulling off his jeans completely. He tossed them onto the floor and sat up next to Lance.

They shared a brief look before they both leaned in and kissed. It was nothing rushed or hurried or anything like that. It was more soft and grounding, like they were just both reaffirming that they were both there, both doing this, both together.

“Do you wanna lay down?” Keith whispered after a moment.

“Yeah,” Lance breathed.

He placed his hands on either side of Keith’s face and carefully laid down on the bed. Keith moved down with him, laying in his side and propping himself up on his forearm, keeping his other hand on Lance’s waist. Slowly Lance’s hands moved down to Keith’s chest, resting his palms flat against him as they kissed.

“Do you, um, have lube?” Lance asked quietly.

“I—I do, yeah,” Keith said leaning up. He extracted himself from Lance and got up quickly and grabbed the lube from his desk. With his teeth he tried to continue his attempt to pull off the plastic getting distracted halfway through by Lance undressing completely on the bed.

“What?” Lance asked pausing after he’d gotten his jeans and underwear off, dropping them onto the floor.

He was leaning up on his elbows, lying on the bed completely nude. His face was still flushed and his hair has a sexy messy look to it that he only got when they’d had a particularly good make out session. The dim pink glow of the lamp cast a faint tint on his entire body making him look unearthly in the most beautiful way.

Keith was frozen in place. He lost grip on the bottle and it slipped out of his hands and onto the bed, luckily it was still sealed. He’d never seen Lance completely nude like this, in front of him, in person. He’d never seen anyone like this, laid back in his bed waiting and ready for him. His brain short circuited for a moment.

“No—nothing you just—it’s nothing,” Keith swallowed, blinking at him. His mouth felt dry and his heart was racing.

“You sure?” Lance asked sounding vulnerable. “You’re just staring at me and I’m not gonna lie, I’m sorta feeling a bit self conscious here.” He gave a small awkward laugh and it pulled at Keith’s heart.

“Sorry,” Keith said, his eyes raking all over Lance’s body. “It’s just… you look like something out of a dream.”

Instantly Lance’s face heated up, his cheeks turning even pinker in the light. He turned his head away, biting through a smile that threatened to take over his whole face. “Wow,” he said almost to himself. “You really are much better at this stuff than you give yourself credit for.”

Keith smiled softly. “Thanks.” He swallowed again, trying to get rid of his dry mouth. “You really do look so beautiful right now though. I mean, I’m sort of blanking on words because I’m so taken back.”

“Wow,” Lance breathed looking up at him. “Do you mean it?”

“Every word.”

He took in a shaky little breath that Keith knew well enough was the praise riling him up. Keith knew that Lance had a thing for praise but he wasn’t even trying to intentionally hit on it, he just legitimately felt this way. Lance did look like something out of dream— one of his own dreams.

Keith had imagined this many times before. How he’d feel, what it’d be like, what Lance would look like splayed out in front of him. And in all his imagination nothing measured up to the real thing. The reality of Lance lying naked on his bed looking up at him so vulnerably with such want, his soft tan skin cast in a rose glow. Nothing Keith could have imagined would be even half of this.

He watched Lance visibly swallow. “Can I have the lube?”

Keith tore his eyes away from Lance looked down at the bed and found the still unopened bottle of lube. Bringing it to his mouth, Keith ripped the plastic wrapping around the lid with his teeth and handed the bottle over to Lance. He sat back on his heels watching Lance roll the bottle in his hands a few times before popping the lid and squeezing some out onto the tips of his fingers.

Holding the bottle in his right hand against his stomach and spreading his legs apart, Lance reached under his left leg and fingered his hole with his middle finger, spreading his ass apart with his other fingers. “Wow this is the first time time I’ve ever done this in front of someone,” he said closing his eyes and tossing his head back. “Usually it’s just me alone in my room. Actually it’s always me alone in my room.”

The image of Lance fingering himself alone late at night in his bedroom filled Keith’s mind. But it was quickly overpowered by the sight of Lance fingering himself in front of him. His mouth went dry at the sight.

Keith found himself rooted to the spot, watching intently as Lance used one, then two fingers on himself pausing every so often to re-apply lube. He knew Lance did this to himself but knowing and seeing were two very different things. Knowing Lance fingered himself was nothing compared to seeing Lance finger himself and listening to the raspy moans he let out or seeing him writhe in place or watching him reach with his other hand and stroke himself.

He knew Lance wanted to prep himself but he wasn't sure if he didn’t want himself involved at all. Keith sat at his feet, watching with bated breath as Lance stretched himself open. Desperate to touch him, Keith moved a hesitant hand towards Lance’s leg running his fingertips over the inside of his thigh.

A soft moan escaped Lance’s lips as he went further up his thigh and it encouraged him to add his other hand. But still unsure how much Lance wanted, he didn’t go further than mid thigh.

“Touch me more,” Lance breathed, thrusting his fingers in and out of himself. He spread his legs even more, taking advantage of his flexibility. “Keith please touch me.”

That was all Keith needed to dive in head first. He moved from just kneeling between his legs to lying on his stomach. Right in front of his eyes he could see Lance’s fingers stretching himself and his dick, hard and leaking onto his stomach. But he ignored that for now to press a line of hot, lingering kisses up Lance’s thigh. Starting from the bend of his knee, Keith worked his way up the leg until his mouth was were his leg met his hip, and then he’d move onto his other leg.

“Kei—Keith,” Lance gasped. “I need you. Please—fuck—Keith.”

“Of course,” Keith whispered against his skin.

He reached up with one hand and grabbed the bottle of lube. Leaning back slightly, he poured some lube onto his index and middle finger. Keith watched Lance pull out his fingers with an obscene wet sound from the excess lube now dripping down his skin. Circling his hole with his fingers, Keith let out a small exhale before pushing past the ring of muscle.

He watched his fingers disappear into Lance, holding his breath as he moved them further and further in. Slowly he thrust in, feeling the soft, wet heat encase him as the lube squelched around him. Keith was mesmerized by the sight of his fingers moving in and out of Lance, pulling gasping moans from his mouth.

“Oh god—fuck that’s so good,” Lance exhaled, his breathing heavy and raspy. “Just just curl your fingers—oh fuck—curl them up towards my belly button.”

“Like this?” Keith asked. He turned his hand so his palm was facing up and he bent his finger up towards Lance’s abdomen.

“Yeah like that,” Lance nodded, shutting his eyes tightly. His hands were clawing at the sheets below him, his legs spread impossibly wide. “Just like that but feel around.”

“Ok,” Keith said moving his fingers around inside him, keeping them as bent as he could.

“You’re almost there, you’re like just—ah ah you found it you found it,” Lance gasped sharply as Keith found his prostate. He arched his back, his hands really gripping onto the sheets below him.

Keith rubbed at the spot inside him, watching Lance’s whole body react. He was letting out small shuddering breaths, his head turning from side to side with his eyes shut tight. His dick was leaking heavily now, almost purple at the head and bouncing as he breathed. Feeling himself grow hard at the sight, Keith put more force into rubbing at Lance.

“Ah—Keith I’m gonna—I’m gonna cum,” Lance whined, bringing one hand to his chest to rub at himself.

Keith raised himself up marginally, just enough to kneel above him and kiss at the base of his cock without stopping his other fingers inside Lance. “Cum for me,” Keith whispered into the bend of his hip.

That was all Lance need as he reached down and barely had a hold of his dick with one hand before he was cumming into it. He let out a shuddering gasp as cum shot out onto his abs, clenching down around Keith’s fingers still rubbing up inside him. Keith continued to rub at him until Lance whined with over stimulation and he pulled out his fingers, dripping lube onto the bed below him.

It took a few minutes for Lance to catch his breath. His legs were still spread out displaying how wet and spent he was, the pinkish lube glistening against his skin. Keith was kneeling between his legs, staring at him as his breathing slowly returned to a form of normal, his eyes opening more and more with each breath. The whole sight was enough to make Keith hard in his briefs again, locking the image in his memory.

“The towel,” Lance said licking his lips. He motioned weakly to the side of the bed. “Before this stuff dries.”

“Y–Yeah,” Keith said reaching over the side of the bed and grabbing the folded hand towel. He wiped at the cum on Lance’s stomach and dick, which was still half hard. Once he was done, he folded the towel again and put it on the floor once more.

“Come here,” Lance whispered gesturing for Keith to come close to him.

Keith moved to lay down on his side next to Lance, resting his head in his hand and placing his other, still lubed hand on Lance’s lower abdomen. “Hey,” he breathed, nosing against the side of Lance’s face.

“Keith,” Lance breathed, turning his head so their lips were touching but he didn’t kiss him yet. “Keith I still want you.”

“I know,” Keith said softly. He moved his hand down slowly and wrapped his hand around Lance’s half hard dick, giving him a few slow strokes.

“I feel so—ah fuck—so… so,” Lance tried to speak but he couldn’t form a coherent thought as Keith’s hand worked him.

“It’s ok I understand,” Keith nodded. “I feel the same Lance.”

“Keith,” Lance whispered again, so tenderly it pulled at his heart in the most loving way. Lance reached up his hands and held Keith’s face gently as they breathed together, neither quite able to just kiss the other yet. “Keith, please.”

He wasn’t sure what he was asking for but his hand sped up on Lance’s dick. Lance gasped softly against his lips, turning his body towards Keith’s. Missing his mouth, Keith kissed down the side of Lance’s jaw, feeling his heartbeat underneath his lips.

“Just fuck me,” Lance breathed after a few moments. “I can’t— I can’t wait any longer. Please Keith.”

Keith lifted his head and looked down at Lance. He was staring up at him pleadingly, raspy shallow breaths coming out of his bitten and kiss reddened lips. His hands were still cradling Keith’s face, holding him carefully like he was something precious.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Keith whispered nodding his head briefly. He bent down and pressed his lips to Lance’s.

“Hurry,” Lance said letting his hands slide from his face and down onto the bed.

Keith let go of Lance’s dick with one last stroke and got up from where he was laying down on the bed. With a shaky breath, he went over to his desk and grabbed one of the condoms he’d laid out for himself. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, he knelt back on the bed as his shaking fingers ripped open the packet and he pulled out the condom.

He looked over at Lance who was watching him and fingering himself. Keith swallowed and looked away, needing to concentrate. Standing up on the floor, he pulled off his briefs tossing them behind him, and carefully rolled the condom on, dropping the ripped packet on the desk.

Once on completely, Keith got used to the unique sensation of the condom, grateful he was able to put it on with no hassle. He looked over at Lance, who’d in the time that it’d taken Keith to get ready, had lubed up and fit a third finger inside of himself. His breath caught in his throat as Keith watched Lance finger himself open.

“Keith,” Lance moaned quietly. “I’m ready just—please.”

“Ok,” Keith breathed.

He knelt on the bed, moving himself close to Lance between his spread legs. He watched Lance’s fingers pull out from inside him, dribbling lube down his skin. Reaching above Lance’s head, he grabbed a small pillow and fit it just underneath Lance’s hips, raising him up slightly. With a surprisingly steady hand, Keith took the bottle of lube and poured some out into his hand, covering his dick and Lance with the excess.

“Are you ok?” Keith asked, holding Lance’s legs apart, his dick brushing against him.

“Yeah I’m good,” Lance whined rolling his hips to get Keith’s attention.

And he had it. With one hand Keith held onto Lance’s hips and with the other he lined himself up. Taking a steadying breath, Keith watched his dick push through the ring of muscle and slowly go into Lance.

His reaction was immediate, Keith had never felt something like it. It was warm, warmer than Keith had been expecting and even through the condom it was so soft. Every impulse in his body was telling him to thrust in hard and fast but he knew that he needed to give Lance a moment, ask him how he was feeling.

“Lance… Lance are you alright?” Keith said, practically straining to remain coherent and in control but making sure Lance was completely ok was more important.

“Just—just give me a second,” Lance said taking in a sharp breaths, grabbing at the sheets behind him. Keith let out a shaky exhale, rubbing small soothing circles with his thumbs on Lance’s hips. He wanted nothing more than to move but he forced himself to wait until Lance gave him the go ahead. “Ok ok, I’m ok. You can move. Just start slow.”

“Alright,” Keith said thickly.

Getting a good but not tight hold on Lance’s waist, he started to move. At a mind numbingly slow pace, Keith thrust in and out of Lance, going deeper and deeper with each move. After a short while he finally established a rhythm, slow but steady.

“More,” Lance moaned, moving his hands from the sheets to his chest, running his fingers across his skin. “Keith I need more.”

He silently obliged him, picking up the pace a bit. Keith’s grip on Lance’s waist tightened, fucking into him with more force losing a bit of his steadiness. But Lance didn’t seem to mind, if anything it was exactly what he wanted.

Lance tossed his head back, letting out a series of soft moans. His fingers moved up and down his chest, brushing over his nipples before dipping back to just above his bouncing dick. He looked obscene underneath Keith, lightly touching himself and moaning and it only made Keith fuck into him harder.

“Oh fuck— yes,” Lance gasped, running one hand up, fingers splayed over his neck. “Fuck yes you’re so close just a little bit more—”

Keith adjusted his grip on Lance’s hips and tried to aim up towards his stomach, trying to hit his prostate. He knew he was close, that he was was probably just grazing it. He started losing speed and went for accuracy, thrusting into one direction in particular and eventually he found it.

“Oh—fuck fuck fuck—oh god fuck,” Lance streamed out in a raspy whisper. “Oh god you got it, keep going.”

Having hit the mark, Keith tried to aim for it again and again. Somewhat clumsily at first, after awhile Keith got the hang of it and Lance was reduced to a moaning, babbling, writhing mess below him.

“Keith—oh fuck Keith you’re so good oh god—fuck fuck I’m fucking—fuck,” Lance whined.

Keith could only stare at Lance beneath him. He was flushed, covered in a thin layer of sweat glistening in the rose light of the room. Small moans and gasps would escape from his lips with each thrust. His hard dick was bouncing against his stomach, making a line of precum on his skin.

To Keith the sight, the feelings, the sounds, the everything about this was surreal and amazing. He’d spent so long worrying over this moment, whether or not he’d be any good, or if he could satisfy Lance, or if he could even go through with it at all. But now, seeing Lance under him as he fucked into him, feeling what it was like to be inside him while Lance cried out for more, Keith couldn’t imagine why he’d been so worked up about this.

“Keith,” Lance breathed, motioning his hands up weakly towards him. “Keith kiss me, plea—fuck oh god—please, kiss me.”

He didn’t waste any time. Keith let go of Lance’s hips and bent over him, holding himself up on his hand on other side of Lance’s head, and kissed him. Their kiss was messy, neither of them quite meeting neatly in the middle. But it was full of everything they’d been thinking and wanting to say— at least it was for Keith.

In that kiss Keith tried to show Lance how he was feeling. That he loved him. That he meant the world to him. That this was so special to him and it meant everything that he was doing this with Lance. Everything, all he was thinking and feeling he poured into the kiss.

He felt Lance lift his legs and lock them around his back, holding him in place as he thrust into him. In this new position he couldn’t aim as well but he could go faster. And with Lance as far gone as he was, that didn’t matter to him.

“I love you,” Lance whispered, raspy and out of breath. He wrapped his arms under Keith’s and placed his hands on Keith’s back, lightly dragging his nails down the skin. “I—fuck—I love you.”

“I love you too Lance,” Keith managed to say, feeling out of breath and so closing to cumming.  “God I love you so much.”

“I’m gonna cum,” Lance breathed. “I’m gonna—fuck I’m gonna cum— Keith .” He dragged his nails down Keith’s back making stinging red lines that to Keith’s surprise, actually felt good.

“Cum,” Keith whispered, fucking into him even harder. “Lance please, I need to see you cum.”

After a few more hard thrusts, Lance was cumming between them, shooting out cum onto both their chests. He clenched and tightened around Keith’s dick which was enough to send him over the edge cumming a few seconds afterward. Keith gasped into Lance’s neck, emptying himself into the condom. And once he’d given him his last few fucks, he half moved half collapsed on top of Lance, feeling totally and completely spent.

They both laid there, catching their breaths and feeling each other’s racing heartbeats. Keith’s face was buried in Lance’s sweat slicked neck, breathing in the heady scent of his skin. He could feel Lance’s hand resting still on his back, his fingertips moving gently over the angry marks he’d just made.

Keith felt himself going soft inside Lance and with a bit of a struggle he lifted himself up to pull out. Lance’s legs unlocked from behind his back, falling weakly onto the bed. Keith pulled out, making an obscene wet squelching sound as the excess lube dribbled out.

Mustering all the energy he had left, Keith got up and took off the condom, tying it in a tight knot before walking it over to the bathroom garbage. In there he cleaned Lance’s cum off his chest and grabbed a fresh small towel for Lance to use. He shuffled back into the room where Lance was still laid sprawled out in the bed, and wiped him down completely.

“Thanks,” Lance said throatily, looking at him down his body as Keith cleaned him up. “I’d help but I don’t think I can move.”

Keith smirked. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He bundled up the towel and dropped it onto the floor with the other.

“You should,” Lance grinned. “You definitely should.” He removed the pillow from under his hips and he fell down onto the bed. “Fuck— fuck that was a mistake.”

“Are you alright?” Keith asked worriedly, rushing over to his side, looking him over.

“Yeah I’ll be fine, it’s just my ass is sorta sore, obviously,” Lance said moving gingerly to the side to give Keith room to lay down next to him. “But so worth it,” he added with a grin.

“Yeah?” Keith questioned, settling back on the bed next to him.

Lance instantly curled towards him, fitting a leg between Keith’s and resting his head on Keith’s chest. It was similar to a position they had just been in a few minutes ago, but somehow now it only seemed comforting and intimate. “So totally worth it,” he smiled.

Keith looked down at him, wrapping an arm around Lance’s body and pulling him close. He was exhausted but he didn’t want to fall asleep just yet. Not while Lance was still awake and there in his arms and talking to him. He wanted to remember this as much as possible.

Not just what they’d done but everything. The way that Lance’s hair was all mussed against his chest. How he could still smell Lance’s citrusy shampoo through the scent of sex and sweat. That all the skin on his body was just as soft as his face. How in this dim pink light it really feels like he’s staring at Lance through rose colored glasses. That he loves him right now more than he’d ever before.

“You know you’re just smiling at me and not saying anything right? Weirdo,” Lance teased, poking Keith’s cheek with his finger.

“Sorry,” Keith said with a small smile, coming back to reality.

“What are you even thinking about?” Lance asked. “How awesome I am? How hot I am right? Or how good I am in the sack. It’s ok you can say it, I already know.”

“Yeah all of the above,” Keith laughed quietly, brushing his fingers through Lance’s hair.

Lance narrowed his eyes at him playfully, as if he was doubting Keith’s veracity. “Yeah ok, I believe you.”

He went back to laying his head on Keith’s chest, his fingers making lazy circles on his chest. Lance was quiet for a few minutes, they both were. Almost as if they’d both need a few quiet moments process everything.

“Keith?” Lance whispered after a while. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” he answered, rubbing at Lance’s back comfortingly. “I’m awake.”

“I’m glad we waited,” Lance said softly. He paused for a moment, curling up even closer to Keith. “I think… I think it was better this way. Having waited.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah me too.” He took in everything— Lance’s hand on his chest, his leg between his own, his hair against his cheek, his soft breath on his skin— it all meant so much to him. More than it would have six months ago. Six months ago Lance would have just been a boy he liked. Right now he’s the boy he loves.

Chapter 13: Keith Just Loves Him You Know?

Notes:

yoooo so im sorry my life go way crazy for a while and writing this unfortunately took a backseat but the good news is that now i have all the chapters and i can do actual, scheduled updates like a real human person. so until the fic ends, i'm gonna update every two days!!!

---

A mixture of the tantalizing scent of bacon and the powerfully strong need to pee woke Keith up the next morning. However when he tried to get up, it took him a few sleepy moments to realize that he was, for all intents and purposes, pinned down on the bed by Lance who was passed out on top of him.

He looked down as best he could at Lance. He was sound asleep, even snoring a little. His head, and most of his upper body, was resting directly on top of Keith, with his arms bent to hold on Keith’s shoulders. If Keith wasn’t so hungry, and didn’t need the bathroom so badly, he’d probably just lay there for as long as it took for Lance to wake up.

But unfortunately, he wasn’t going to wait and he started trying to extract himself from underneath Lance. It was harder than he’d imagined, their sweat slicked bodies seemed to have stuck together during the night and Keith felt like he was pulling his bare skin off a leather couch on a hot summer day. Carefully and slowly, Keith slid Lance off him and onto the bed next to him, trying not to jostle him too much. After several excruciating minutes, Keith finally managed to free himself and he hopped out of bed, only to slip and fall on the mountain of clothes they’d dropped on the floor the night before, and hit the ground with a loud yelp .

“Wha—what the fuck” Lance jolted awake, half asleep and looking around the room in a daze, searching for the source of the noise. “Kei–Keith? Wha’ happen?”

“I fell,” Keith said feeling sort of stupid. He was crouched on the floor feeling around for any sort of clothes to pull on, feeling dumber by the second.

“Are you ok?” Lance asked, still clearly very much half asleep.

“Yeah I’m fine, go back to sleep,” Keith said leaning forward over the bed and patting Lance’s cheek until he fell back onto the bed with his eyes closed.

“M’kay,” Lance yawned, closing his eyes.

Waiting a few seconds to make sure he was really asleep again, Keith speed walked into the bathroom, careful not to slip on anymore clothes. Quickly he used the bathroom, jumping into the shower after he realized that he still totally smelled and looked like he’d had sex and there was no way in hell he was going to let his dads see him like that.

He smirked to himself after a second of realization while the hot water of the shower beat down on him. He had sex. With Lance. Last night. He and Lance actually had sex last night.

Just remembering everything made his face heat up, and it had nothing to do with the hot water. Images of Lance moaning, writhing underneath him, cumming as he Keith fucked into him— he couldn’t believe these were actual memories and not just his imagination. He barely remembered to wash his hair and body with soap because his mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Lance. Sweet, nice, super hot Lance that was so very naked in his bed right now.

He shook his head free of those thought and turned off the water. He grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around himself as he stepped out of the shower. The mirror over the sink had fogged up and he leaned over and wiped it with his hand and he was actually surprised at what he saw.

Clearly he hadn’t gotten a good look at himself before because he was seeing all sorts of things now. He tried to imagine that he looked slightly different, older maybe, more confident. But tangibly there were a few things. Like the the purpling hickey on his neck. He lifted a hand to poke at it gently only to hiss in pain when he touched it. Still, he’d never had a hickey before. It was nice.

Keith turned around a bit so he could get a look at his back. He remembered Lance not only gave him a hickey last night, but he also scratched down his back. And sure enough six or so faint red marks were scratched into his back; nothing too serious, and they will probably go away in a few days. But the fact that they were there, that Keith actually had them, made everything feel so much more real.

He stepped out of the bathroom, seeing that Lance had managed to fall back asleep, face down on the bed. Keith dressed quietly, pulling on a clean pair of briefs and a t-shirt before he crawled back into bed, cuddling up next to Lance. He put an arm around his back and laid his face very close next to Lance’s.

“You smell clean,” Lance mumbled, still looking completely asleep.

“I am clean,” Keith said with a small smile. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was but after you woke me up I could smell bacon and I couldn’t go back to sleep,” Lance continued, still keeping his eyes closed.

“We could get up you know,” Keith suggested. “Go have breakfast and stuff.”

“Mmmmmm maybe later,” Lance said moving closing to Keith. He tucked his face into Keith’s neck and moved one of his legs between Keith’s, who pulled Lance close and wrapped his arms tightly around him. “I just wanna like, lay here for a bit with you.”

Keith smiled, nuzzling his cheek against the top of Lance’s bed messy hair. “Yeah I can do that.” His hands moved slowly up and down Lance’s exposed back, using his fingernails to trace swirling patterns. He could feel Lance’s soft breath through the warm fabric of his shirt hitting his chest. The weight of Lance on him was more comfortable than anything he’d ever felt before. Right there, holding Lance like this, he was happy.

“Nope, I lied I have to pee,” Lance said forcing himself up. He pulled himself up from Keith’s grasp, pushing aside the blanket as he climbed out of bed. Keith watched his naked form walk off the bed and go into the bathroom.

With a sigh, Keith leaned on his back in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He waited for Lance, again replaying the memories of last night in his mind. The way Lance’s face looked when he touched him, the many expressions he made, the way his whole body looked. He heard the bathroom light click off and he leaned up on his elbows to see Lance, still completely nude, walking out of the bathroom and coming back to the bed.

“I probably should get dressed too,” he said crawling up in the bed and laying down on top of the blanket next to Keith. “But it’s almost too fun to watch your eyes bulge out every time you see me.”

“My eyes don’t bulge,” Keith scoffed embarrassed, grabbing an extra pillow and smacking Lance with it.

“Yeah they do, you make this adorable face like,” Lance made an exaggerated look of awe, “it’s really cute and flattering of course. I mean, I know I have the body of a Greek statue, but it’s nice to have that confirmed once and awhile.”

“Well now I’m just not going to react to you on purpose,” Keith said defiantly.

“Yeah ok,” Lance nodded sarcastically. “We’ll see about that.”

He got up from the bed and Keith made a point of keeping his face neutral even as his eyes followed the curve of Lance’s ass as he walked over to his suitcase. Almost obviously on purpose, Lance bent down slowly and grabbed clothes from his bag and slowly started to dress himself. Keith rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's very unsubtle attempt but he couldn’t help but smile that he was in fact enjoying it.

After an extra long dressing process, with a lot of unnecessary bending and slow, sort of seductive movements, Lance was clothed in jeans and light gray Batman shirt. He grabbed his phone and moved to sit on the bed next to Keith, leaning back against the headboard. Keith sat up, sitting close to him, half wishing Lance hadn’t gotten dressed yet.

“Shit I have a missed call from my mom,” Lance said with a wince. “Oh it was from last night. Yikes, well I wasn’t gonna answer that one anyway I guess,” he added with a laugh. “Cause we were starting the new year off with a bang if you know what I mean.” He grinned knowingly at Keith.

“That wasn’t even clever,” Keith laughed anyway. “Why don’t you call her now?”

“Nah I’ll call her later,” Lance shrugged. Instantly the phone began ringing in his hand with his Mom’s contact on the screen. “Ok nevermind I guess we’ll talk now.” He pressed to answer and brought the phone up to his ear. “Hi mami… yeah… yeah Happy New Year to you too… ¿que?...” he glanced at Keith who was not exactly listening in on their conversation but just sitting there hearing Lance’s side and the muffled warbled sounds of his mother on the other end.

In a very conspicuous way, Lance turned his body slightly away from Keith to continue speaking at a slightly lower, more serious volume. “Todavía no, pero tengo bastante tiempo… si cuando… wha—no no no mom, no— the em—el correo electrónico dice durante la primera semana de febrero , no enero… ok but I told you that… fine,” Keith could see him rolling his eyes, “I’m not… no, hace horas que nos despertamos… porque me olvidó… I will… te quiero tambien… ok bye.” With a sigh he hung up the phone and dropped it into his lap looking slightly put out.

“You ok?” Keith asked cautiously.

Lance was still slightly turned away from him and he quickly twisted back to face him, putting on a smile. “Yeah I’m fine.”

“You sounded like you were arguing, is everything ok?”

“Of course,” Lance nodded. “We weren’t arguing, my mom was just asking me something I’d already told her and it’s always super annoying when I have to repeat it like a hundred times.” He shrugged.

“Ok,” Keith said not wanting to push him anymore.

“So what’s the plan for today?”

“Well seeing that it’s— oh jeez, almost noon,” Keith said stretching his arms above his head and glancing at his phone on the desk. “I thought maybe we could eat something and then I’ll take you to my workshop?”

“Ooh do I finally get to see the hog?” Lance asked excitedly.

“Only if you don’t call it that and yes.”

“Ok,” Lance laughed. “I’m excited to see it. But right now I’m more excited to eat. I’ve been smelling that bacon and I’m dying to ingest it.”

“Super weird phrasing again but yeah let’s go,” Keith said getting up. He rummaged through the floor clothes until he found his jeans and pulled them on with a few jumps to get them on all the way. “Ok, come on.” He instinctively reached for Lance’s hand as they walked out of his room and down the hall to the kitchen.

---

“Here,” Keith said handing Lance the leather jacket he’d used the other night. He seemed to have startled Lance because he sputtered and blinked a few times before taking it from him. Keith then took his jacket from the coat rack next to the door and pulled it on.

“What’s this for?” Lance asked slipping his arms in over his tshirt. “Or is it just ‘cause you like when I wear it?” He gave Keith an exaggerated wink as he adjusted the sleeves.

“It’s for protection,” Keith said grabbing his keys from the bowl next to the front door.

There was moment before realization dawned on Lance’s face. “Oh! For the bike!—wait we’re gonna ride it right now?”

“Yes…?” Keith said, thinking it had been obvious.

Lance had done nothing but talk about it while they’d eaten brunch. On whether or not he’d find it scary. Or if wearing a helmet was gonna give his short cropped hair helmet–hair. And how, though he’d never been on a motorcycle before, he knew he was probably going to be as much of a natural as he was on the horse. But now he looking at Keith with a mix of hesitancy and excitement.

“Did you not want to?” Keith asked slipping the keys and his hands into his pockets.

“No no I do—I super do,” Lance said quickly, shaking his hands in front of him. “I was just surprised that we were gonna go like right now, like right right now. But like hell yeah man, I’m lit for it. Let’s go.”

“Ok,” Keith laughed softly. “Come on.” Again he instinctively reached for Lance’s hand, taking it in his own as they walked out of the house and around towards the back towards his workshop.

Keith’s workshop was a repurposed small old barn that Thace had let him use to tinker around him when he was in middle school, that by the time he got to high school, it became a fully fledged workspace. The high ceilings, cement flooring and lots of available space for storage and workspace made it perfect for Keith to turn it into his own little mechanic’s shop. Over the years he’d made it better, installing lighting, a drain, a small kitchenette when he was too lazy to walk back up to the house to get a snack while he’s working, and even putting in an old half lumpy couch that’s he’d taken more naps in than he’d like to admit.

As they approached the old barn, Keith pulled out his key for the padlock on a chain on the doors. With a well practiced ease, he unlocked the lock and removed the chains in one fluid motion, kicking up the door stand and swinging out the door. He then swung out the other door and  locked them both in place so they would stay open while they were inside.

Taking a few steps in, he switched on the humming fluorescent lights suspended from the rafters and turned back to look at Lance slowly walking in. He had his head moving from side to side, taking everything in with a small smile on his face. “So,” Keith said awkwardly, stuffing his hands into his front pocket. “What do you think?”

“This is so cool,” Lance grinned. He walked over to the truck Keith currently had up lift stands, looking over at the tools he’d left out for himself. “Is this what you’re working on right now?”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded walking up behind him. “It’s a neighbor’s truck. I’ve almost finished with it but I still have to fix the motor mount and do a few engine checks before I’m done.”

“And what about your bike?” Lance asked turning his head to look at him.

“That’s parked over here,” he said moving towards the covered shape against the right wall. He pulled off the burgundy tarp covering carefully, folding it between his arms and placing it on the shelf next to him on the wall. “Ta–da I guess.”

A big smile grew on Lance’s face as he walked over to the motorcycle, tilting his head from side to side taking in all its angles. “I know nothing about bikes but this looks super badass.”

Keith looked back at his bike with a small amused smile. It did look badass. Sleek and black with red piping going down the length, light reflecting off the shiny chrome features, his motorcycle was a perfect combination of his tastes and interests and personal style and somewhat secret want to look awesome. And it did. It looked awesome.

“Thanks,” he said folding the cover up and placing it on a nearby shelf. “I’m quite proud of it actually. I built her completely by myself from scratch.”

“That’s like… really fucking cool,” Lance said impressed. He looked between Keith and the gleaming bike a few times before he let out a small huffed laugh. “You’re all kinds of amazing. I mean, every time I think I find the end of your ‘cool’ threshold you surprise me by going past it. It’s amazing.” His eyes meet Keith’s and for a long second they held their gaze while Keith tried to process what he could even possibly say back to that. Luckily he didn’t have to. “So,” Lance said hooking his thumb inside the pockets of his jacket, “where to?”

Keith cleared his throat before looking away to speak, preoccupying himself with collecting the helmets. “I thought we’d go for a drive out away from town, drive through more of the ranch area, farms, countryside, that sort of thing.” He turned and handed Lance a spare black motorcycle helmet he had. “Is that ok?”

“Yeah sounds perfect,” Lance smiled, taking the helmet.

Swallowing, Keith tucked the helmet under one arm and moved to wheel his bike out of the shop. Closing up his workshop behind him, Keith placed his helmet on the ground for a moment, turning to give Lance a brief instruction on the rules and safety of riding a motorcycle. He could tell that as he was explaining why it’s safer for them to be moving faster than slower, and how to properly sit on the backseat, and where to hold onto, that Lance was looking increasingly nervous. He kept giving the bike behind Keith furtive glances and twirling the helmet in his hands. But when Keith asked him point blank if he was going to be ok, he was adamant in saying he was nervous but very excited.

“Are you sure?” Keith asked again, getting in position to turn on the bike.

“Yeah I promise,” Lance nodded emphatically.

“Ok,” Keith said, feeling like he’d made sure enough times that Lance was going to be alright. With ease, he turned on the engine and the bike roared to life, letting out a booming rumble that made it a bit harder to talk. “When we’re moving and we have our helmets on it’s gonna be really hard to talk to each other,” Keith explained over the sound of the engine. “So if you need my attention just squeeze my side twice.”

“Gotcha,” Lance said, sliding on his helmet.

“Alright, get on,” Keith motioned behind him to the slightly elevated back seat on the bike. With great care and hesitation, Lance threw his leg over the side and sat down behind Keith, delicately placing his hands on Keith’s hips. “You good back there?” he asked twisting his head over his shoulder slightly, making sure Lance had his feet where they were supposed to be. He received a sure nod in return. “Ok, here we go.”

Moving the bike upright and kicking back the stand, Keith paused for a moment to make sure Lance was still situated behind him. He felt a small, gentle squeeze on his waist from Lance’s hands placed securely around him and Keith revved the engine and peeled down the dirt drive.

Instantly he could feel Lance’s grip tighten around him as he sped through the drive and out onto the main road leading up to the ranch. On muscle memory alone, he turned and navigated his way down the dust covered roads and out onto the more secluded open country road that meandered through the backs and sides of the neighboring farms and ranches.

It was a drive he’d done a million times; driving was something he did to clear his head, be alone, find some peace. Keith had created his perfect route during high school, when he needed most to find some escape from his life. The winding, featureless road leading directly and unwaveringly to nowhere in particular was a comforting scene for him. It was familiar and welcoming in a way; just him and the expansive rust colored grass on either side of the ash grey road.

Keith almost forgot, just for a moment, that he wasn’t alone. He’d almost let the mesmerising rhythm of the road underneath him lull him into his own mind when he felt a warm squeeze on his waist from Lance behind him. And immediately he remembered that he wasn’t alone, he wasn’t riding out there to clear his head or be alone or find some inner peace. He’d found it.  

There was a sort of bittersweet realization Keith came to as they rode along the well traveled road: it’ll never be as good as this ever again. No way would he ever be able to hop on his bike and go out down his favorite route and look for some happiness, it would never be the same. Here, like this, with Lance’s arms wrapped around his waist, with his body pressed up against his back, trusting him with his whole life in a real tangible way, Keith realized that this was perfect. 

---

Sunset found them on a long stretch of road just a few minutes outside of the ranch. They'd spent a good part of the day riding around, stopping so Lance could look at the neighboring livestock, taking selfies at Lance’s instance to Keith's half hidden amusement.

They stopped at a small, half empty diner after a while and several miles. Keith had convinced the waitress to give them a seat in the back, tucked away in a far corner so the handful of other customers wouldn’t see them. And hidden in a booth that was closer to the bathroom than the kitchen, the two of them shared a meal.

“So this counts as a date right?” Lance asked quietly in between bites of an extra thick and long fry. He swirled the end in a pool of ketchup he’d dumped onto his plate, looking up at Keith through his lashes. The tip of his foot was poking and softly rubbing along the side of Keith’s under the table.

Keith was surprisingly caught off guard by the question. Part of him hadn’t even considered the fact that he’d taken Lance out on a date, while the other part of him instantly responded “of course.”

“Just making sure,” Lance grinned, eating the rest of his ketchup soaked french fry. “I can’t go back to New York without going on a proper date.”

“Well we went on that horseback riding date earlier in the week,” Keith said dipping one of his fries into Lance’s ketchup pile.

“Do blowjobs by a pond count as a date?” Lance asked with an amused smirk. He hooked his foot around Keith’s ankle.

“I don’t see why not,” Keith responded.

“Fair enough,” Lance nodded. He reached over the table and picked up one of Keith’s uneaten pickles and popped it in his mouth. “So that’s two dates.”

“Three if you count the bar.”

“But I barely remember that one,” Lance pouted. “No no I’m not counting it, we’ll have to fit in a third real date.”

Keith looked up at his boyfriend across the booth from him. Lance was giving him a perfectly innocent look, casually eating his fries and smiling at him. As if they did this all the time and their time together wasn’t something finite and ephemeral. Like they had all the time in the world.

“Yeah,” he agreed softly. “We’ll go on that third date.” He felt Lance’s foot trail slowly up his calf. “Are you playing footsie with me under the table?”

“I have been for the past half hour but thanks for noticing,” Lance said with a sarcastic grin.

“It just occurred to me that that’s what you were doing,” Keith said moving his foot to be closer to Lance’s. “I just though your foot was asleep or something.”

Lance laughed, “you’re an idiot.” He leaned his head to the side, looking at Keith with a small but pleased expression. It was delicate and it made Keith think of a similar expression Lance had made the night before.

He squirmed slightly in place. “What?”

“Nothin’,” Lance said softly. “Come on,” he popped one last fry in his mouth and wiped his fingers off with a napkin, “let’s get outta here.”

“Ok,” Keith said pushing aside his plate. “I’ll go find our waitress, can you meet me by the bike?” He grabbed his jacket and slide out of his side of the booth.

“Yup,” Lance nodded, grabbing his jacket and getting up. Glancing around for a second to make sure they were out of sight, Lance then leaned in and kissed Keith quickly, his hand low on his back. “See you outside,” he smirked.

Caught off guard, Keith blinked at him for a moment before nodding. He stood there watching Lance walk out and go into the dusty parking lot. Alone in the back of the diner, Keith let out a half laugh, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all before walking towards the front to wave down his waitress.

He managed to find her by the counter, and she waved him over towards the register so he could pay. As he pulled out his wallet he could overhear two girls sitting together at the counter talking in half whispers just a few feet from him. Normally he would ignore people around him if he could help it, but as he was handing the waitress his card he couldn’t help but eavesdrop when they caught his attention.

“...and he’s really cute.”

“Wait which one?”

“The one outside.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

“I mean… he’s cute too of course. But— look look look the other one's standing by a motorcycle.”

“Oh my god.”

“I know I know I know.”

As non obviously as he could, Keith glanced out the nearest window into the parking lot and could see, sure enough, Lance was standing by his bike looking gorgeous as usual. He’d pulled on Keith’s leather jacket and was tapping his fingers against the top of the helmet as he looked at his phone, completely unawares. Keith didn’t want to make it clear he was listening but the sight of his boyfriend did make his smile a little bit.

“Sign this please,” the waitress said, sliding him a receipt and pen.

As he signed he could hear the two girls talking again.

“Ok ok but he’s really cute too.”

“They’re both cute.”

“I dare you to go talk to that one.”

“What—no way.”

“Fine, I will.”

“No no no don’t don’t.”

“But they’re gonna leave.”

“Yeah but what if they’re, you know…”

“What? No.”

“Maybe though. They were sitting together in the back. They came on one motorcycle.”

“Now you’re just being crazy. I’m gonna go talk to him.”

Keith quickly handed the waitress back the receipt and took back his debit card and left the diner without even looking back just about as fast as he could. Listening to those girls gush about Lance was one thing, but listening to them talk about going up to him and talking to him and even potentially hiting on him? Untenable.

He knew his face must have been red and flushed because when he walked over to Lance he gave him a confused look.

“You alright?”

Keith hadn’t really even thought about it until he was already kissing Lance. It took him a second to realize he’d pulled Lance forward by the front of his shirt and connected their lips together. For a moment Lance was surprised but he quickly grinned and kissed back, lifting his hand to card his fingers gently through Keith’s hair.

“Well ok then,” Lance grinned as they pulled apart. Keith was still breathing slowly, his eyes heavily lidded and looking at the soft mouth in front of him. “Not very inconspicuous but still very nice.”

“There were two girls in the diner,” Keith said after a second. “I think one of them was gonna hit on me or you or something. I panicked.”

Lance glanced over the top of his head back at the diner behind him. “You mean the two chicks in the window gawking at us right now?”

Keith turned his head slightly to see two teenage–ish looking girls with their bewildered faces plastered against the window. “Yeah them.”

Lance shrugged. “Oh well.” He pressed a quick kiss to Keith’s forehead. “Come on, let’s go home.” he grabbed his helmet and put it on as he walked around the bike.

“Yeah,” Keith said with a small smile. “Let’s—let’s go home.”

Chapter 14: Exercise Is Healthy But At What Cost?

Notes:

only a few more chapters left!!! ahh i'm gonna be so sad to see this end!

---

Waking up naked in bed with Lance was something Keith was rapidly getting used to. Granted, it was only the second time it had happened and the last time he fell out of bed, but even so it felt so ridiculously normal he couldn’t believe they hadn’t been like this the whole time.

He thought it would be something he’d be uncomfortable with especially after never having that sort of intimate relationship with anyone before, but in actuality the warmth of their bodies under the blanket was so incredibly comforting Keith actually considered skipping another day of his morning run just to lay there some more with Lance. And he really, really considered it.

Keith took a second to actually look at Lance. Of course, he’d done a lot of looking at Lance during the week— he’d practically done nothing else. Yet it felt sort of different now in this moment, like things had shifted. But not in a negative way; no, it was like he woke up in a perfectly worn groove of a relationship and he just noticed how comfortable he felt in it.

Lance’s head on his chest, his arm wrapped around his waist, a warm foot hooked around his own. All of it was so pleasantly homey that Keith had trouble even remembering how it felt just last week to be alone without Lance there. Even the thought of him leaving soon didn’t seem plausible because he felt too good, too happy. And he couldn’t even think about things changing.

“Hey are you awake?” Keith whispered, gently brushing aside some of Lance’s hair from in front of his eyes. He got a small, weak groan in response as Lance curled in closer, hiding more of his face in Keith’s chest. “I need to get up.

“Mmmmm” Lance groaned, not moving at all.

“Come on,” Keith laughed quietly. “I gotta pee. Also I’m gonna go on my run.”

“No, stay,” Lance mumbled, wrapping his arm more tightly around Keith. “Don’t go. Exercising is dumb. Stay here with me.”

Keith smiled softly, running the tips of his fingers up and down Lance’s back. The temptation was strong and the feeling of Lance holding onto him was very convincing. He knew they had not much time left together and being away from each other, even for an hour or so, felt upsetting. “Why don’t you come with me?” he suggested. He tilted his head to look down at Lance’s reaction, which was to make a quite displeased face.

“Exercise?” Lance said with distaste.

“Yeah, you know, that thing people do to stay healthy.”

“Hmmm hard pass.” Lance shifted even closer, fitting his leg between Keith’s and sliding his hand down to rest low on his waist. “Sleep is healthy.”

“Yeah, and we’ve done that,” Keith said, completely amused. “Come with me, it’ll be nice. I promise I won’t go too far or too fast.” He got another weak groan in response. “Please?”

Lance lifted his head, looking up at Keith with a sleepy frown. “Compromise?” he suggested.

“Sure,” Keith nodded.

“I’ll go on your stupid run if we come back and have a chill do nothing day,” Lance said, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on Keith’s chest.

“Ok deal,” Keith smirked, feeling like he’d wholly won the compromise.

“Oh and you shower with me,” Lance added, slowly moving his circling fingers down Keith’s chest. He reached his face up so he could brush his mouth against Keith’s jaw as he spoke. “When we come back of course.”

A little over a day ago, this entire scenario might have flustered Keith beyond the ability to properly respond to Lance’s cheap attempts to shorten their run with some sort of lewd promise. But current Keith—the Keith that overcame an emotional breakdown and pushed aside insecurities and had sex twice with his boyfriend and had taken said boyfriend out for a date on his motorcycle and kissed him in front of people in the actual town he lives in— that Keith didn’t get overwhelmed so easily. In fact, as Lance very deftly attempted to distract him out of exercising, Keith realized he was very much still in control of himself.

“Well the faster we go, the faster we can come back,” Keith said putting his hand on Lance’s, stopping it before it got any lower. He watched Lance groan as he pushed his hand aside. “Come on,” he began getting out of his bed much to Lance’s chagrin, “half an hour tops.”

Lance let out another groan but got out of bed anyway. “Ugh fine, fine. You know, you’re lucky I love you.”

“Yeah I know,” he grinned.

---

“Hold… on… a second… I need… to catch… my breath…” Lance panted, swatting at Keith’s arm to get him to stop running.

“We’ve only been running for like 10 minutes,” Keith said jogging in place.

“Yeah, and that’s like 9 and a half minutes longer than I’m used to,” Lance said out of breath. He was bent over, his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. His batman t-shirt was already forming a sweat patch on his back and the water bottle Keith had given him was already a half empty. “Can I take a breather?”

“Of course,” Keith said with an eye roll that was softened by a small smile. “Let’s sit over here.” He gestured to a low grouping of rocks for them to rest on. Lance let out a throaty cough and spit on the ground before shuffling over and sitting down next to Keith. He eyed him up and down, watching Lance drain more of his water with desperation. “You know, I’m kinda concerned that you’re this winded after only a few minutes.”

“How are you not?” Lance asked, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand.

“‘Cause I do this all the time?” Keith said. “Also ten minutes of running isn’t even a lot.”

“Any amount of running is a lot,” Lance said putting his mostly empty bottle on the ground next to his feet. “Running is the worst. How do you stand it?”

Keith shrugged. “I like it. I like being outdoors.” He looked out at the ranch around them. The sun had already begun to rise and the grounds were cast in a milky golden hue as the sunlight mixed with the early morning fog hovering over the tall grass. It was a sight he was very familiar with and it always brought him comfort. Looking over at Lance next to him, even though he was tired and sweaty and slightly miserable looking, he still felt even more comforted. Lance had that effect on him.

“Ugh, why do I even like you?” Lance groaned, tossing his head back. “Running. The outdoors. You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Keith laughed, nudging him with his shoulder.

“I mean yeah, but still,” Lance said picking up his water bottle to take another drink. “What even made you get into running? I remember you said something about not getting into it until after high school, but why start at all?”

“Oh um,” Keith began surprised that they hadn’t had this conversation already.  “When I was in college— well for the year that I was, I didn’t really have much friends… or… any. And my building had a gym so I’d go there to kill time for a few hours sometimes. I mean there’s only so many hours you can spend in a library,” he added as a small joke. Lance looked at him sympathetically. “So yeah I just… I don’t know, running seemed like the least awful out of all the things to do there and the treadmills had TVs which was cool so I just started running. And then when I left I realized I really liked doing it so I just started here. And yeah… that’s why.”

Lance looked at him for a long moment before he reached out and took Keith’s hand in his. “Every time you tell me a story about your life, I have this urge to give you a 30 minute hug and tell you that I love you.”

Keith let out a small laugh. “It’s ok, I didn’t mean for it to sound so pathetic.”

“No, no not pathetic,” Lance said quickly. “I meant it like, I care about you and it makes me sad to think about you being unhappy or lonely. Like I wish I could go back in time and tell past you that I love you.”

“That would confuse the hell out of past me.”

“You know what I mean,” Lance laughed. “Like if I’d known you, I would have been your friend and made sure you weren’t so lonely.”

“You would’ve?” Keith asked surprised. “Been my friend, I mean.”

“Yeah, of course,” Lance said like it was obvious. “Why not?”

“Oh I just,” Keith shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t have any so… I’m glad we met how we did. Otherwise, who knows, maybe if we’d met in college we wouldn’t be together, or even friends.”

“Nah,” Lance said with a soft smile. “You and me are destiny.”

Tension left Keith in an instant. “Shut up.” He actually felt himself relax at the sight of Lance’s easy smile. He had no idea why he kept putting himself in scenarios where he’d built up tension and anxiety in himself but he was glad he had Lance to release it. “You’re right, of course.”

“I know I’m right,” Lance smirked. He laced their fingers together, leaning into Keith’s side as they sat there, enjoying the moment. “Actually,” Lance began after a minute, “that reminds me, I did um… wanna talk to you about something, now that you bring up school.”

Instantly all the anxiety that had left Keith came racing back up again. “Sure,” he said nervously. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing bad,” Lance said clearly sensing Keith’s hesitation. He let go of Keith’s hand and turned a bit more towards him so he could face him better. “It’s… well it’s good, in a way. Or, not good. Well— not “not good” but like it depends on how you feel about it whether or not it’s good or not good or—”

“Lance,” Keith said cutting him off. “Get to the point.”

“Right,” Lance nodded. “Um ok, so you mentioned school and I uh… well I haven’t been too sure on how to approach this with you and I maybe should have done this earlier in the week but I was too nervous and I did want to tell you in person because it didn’t feel like something I should do over the phone and I feel like we’re in a really good place right now and I think that I should just be upfront with you and direct and—”

“ Lance ,” Keith interrupted again.

“Ok right, sorry,” Lance said flustered. He looked at Keith for a long second, gathering himself before he spoke. “So I didn’t want to say anything about it before because I didn’t want to jinx anything but I’ve been applying to summer fellowship programs.”

“Ok,” Keith nodded, not shocked but a little surprised that Lance hadn’t already told him. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal; Lance was smart, of course he’d apply to programs.

“And they are like these several week long programs in different universities around the US,” Lance continued carefully.

“Right, ok.”

“And I’d have to live there for the duration.”

“Ok,” Keith said furrowing his brow. “But what does this have to do with me?”

“Well I… it’s looking like… I might be, you know, in one for the summer,” Lance said cautiously. “That’s what the phone call with my mom was about yesterday. What we were talking about and stuff, she was asking me when I’d hear back about my application and stuff.”

“Like if you got in?”

“No… I um… I know got in,” Lance swallowed. “It’s for like scholarship money and stuff. If I can even afford to go. Which… I’m hoping… I can.”

“That’s great news,” Keith said happily. “That’s so amazing but… I still don’t…” Lance looked at him with a apprehensive smile. “Oh… I see.”

“It’s not for very long and it’s months away and obviously you don’t have to answer now but… yeah…” Lance said nervously. “It’d be awesome if you came with me… to like, live with me.” Keith stared at him silently as he tried to wrap his head around Lance’s proposal. With each millisecond that passed Lance seemed to grow more and more nervous. “Like I said, it’s not for months and I don’t even know if I’m going yet because like it could be too much money or whatever and even if I do the longest one is like 10 weeks which isn’t even that long and…  yeah it’s months away and so like… yeah…”

The words were entering Keith’s brain but he couldn’t even make sense of them. He swallowed, preparing to speak but no words came out. The apprehensive look on Lance’s face grew more and more embarrassed as the seconds dragged on but Keith couldn’t figure out what to say.

“I’m only asking because like, we’re allowed to bring a significant other to live with us if I use the dorm or if I just sublet an apartment but like either way you could come if you want to but of course you don’t have to I just wanted you to know that you um… you had the option. If you want it.”

“I um…” Keith began, trying to formulate real words. He cleared his throat, attempting to talk again. “You want me to come live with you for the summer.” It was less of a question but Keith still wasn’t sure if he’d heard Lance correctly.

“I mean… yeah,” Lance said with a half shrug. “By then we’d have been together for like a year and it’d be just us without parents or whatever and we could be like… you know… a real couple… for a little while at least.”

Keith found himself nodding in agreement before he even found his voice again. “I’d love that,” he said earnestly. He watched the nervousness drain from Lance’s face and leave relief in its place.

“You don’t have to agree now— I don’t even know if I’m actually going,” Lance said quickly.

“Doesn’t matter,” Keith shook his head. Gently he took Lance’s hand and threaded their fingers together. “Whatever you end up doing, or going… I’m coming with you.”

Lance let out a shaky breath he was holding. “Keith… thats… that’s a big promise,” he said half apprehensive, half excitedly.

“I know,” Keith nodded.

“A lot could happen in between now and then,” Lance continued.

“I know,” Keith nodded again.

“You might change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

Lance gave him a soft look, his eyes searching Keith’s face. “Are you sure?”

“I want to be with you,” Keith said, giving Lance’s hand a small squeeze. “Subletting a place, moving in with you for a few weeks, being with you—or not seeing you for months. That’s not exactly a hard choice.”

“You don’t have to decide now,” Lance repeated, though his smile betrayed whatever hesitation he had in his voice. “There’s time. I just wanted to tell you in person.”

“I know,” Keih nodded. “But I was always gonna go with you.”

Chapter 15: He Did A Good (Blow)Job

Notes:

i've had he most busy two months so here are the last two chapters!! sorry for the long ass wait!!

---

Once Keith realized he only had about 48 hours left with Lance before they had to drive to the airport, suddenly the time started slipping by faster.

Their “20 minutes tops” run had turned into an hour of talking and then a leisurely walk back, that then led to an equally slow shower together, and then a peaceful breakfast in front of the TV. Keith tried to take a second and pause and live in each moment but by the time he was able to savor it, the time had slipped away. It was like he was living in slow motion and in double speed at the same time.

Even Lance noticed it, after they found themselves with half the day passed, in Keith’s garage as he worked on the car while Lance watched. They’d moved here to see if they could pass the time slowly, as if doing something normal and uneventful could somehow circumvent this feeling of running out of time.

“I feel like today’s moving faster because our time together is running out,” Lance said. He was leaning with his back against the car next to Keith who was hunched over under the hood. “I wish I could stay the whole month.”

“You can if you want to,” Keith said glancing up.

Lance gave him an amused but knowing look. “You know I can’t,” he sighed. “My classes start in a week and I have so much work to get done first. But trust me if I could, I’d stay here until the very last second.”

“I know,” Keith said turning back to the engine. He wanted more than anything for Lance to stay indefinitely but he knew Lance was going to have to leave eventually. He just didn’t like thinking about it.

“Hey can I ask you something?” Lance said after a few minutes.

“Sure,” Keith nodded, not looking up from where he was working.

“When did you tell your parents we were dating?” Lance asked. Keith stopped what he was doing and looked up at him. “You never actually said and I was just wondering.”

Keith stood up, pulling his head out from under the hood of the car. He reached over and grabbed a rag he kept around to wipe the motor oil off his hands. “Um, pretty much immediately,” he said as he cleaned his hands.

“Really?” Lance surprised.

“Yeah,” Keith nodded. “Why wouldn’t I tell them?”

“No didn’t mean it like that, I just…” he paused looking for the right words, “I guess ‘cause I told my parents and came out at the same time I assumed you weren’t out yet which I guess is a ridiculous assumption.”

“Not ridiculous,” Keith shrugged, moving over to stand closer to Lance, pulling down his white motor oil stained t-shirt that had ridden up while he worked. “I didn’t come out to my parents until I was in my senior year of high school.”

“Really?” Lance said shocked. “But… like it’s not like you had to hide it. You’re parents are like… um… you know…”

“Gay?”

“Yeah I didn’t want to say it like that but yeah they’re gay.”

Keith let out a small laugh. “Well that’s sorta the reason I didn’t wanna come out.” He scratched the back of his neck and adjusted the ponytail that held his hair back. “It’s weird but like… I guess I didn’t want them to think I was saying that just to be like them. Or that I thought I had to be, if that makes any sense?”

“No yeah I get you,” Lance nodded.

“I mean, I always pretty much knew I was gay from when I was small,” he laughed softly to himself, “no one watches George of the Jungle that many times in row if they aren’t a little gay for him.”

Lance let out a full, unexpected laugh, doubling over and ending in a coughing fit. “Oh god that’s so relatable.”

Keith felt a small, nostalgic small on his face as he remembered the conversation he’d had with his parents. “They were really cool about letting me come out on my own,” he said. “It was an easy conversation— well, it was less of a conversation and more of a brief exchange.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah it was basically my dad asking me if I had my eye on any cute girls to take to prom, and when I said no he asked me if I had my eye on any cute boys,” Keith said with a shrug. “I said there was a guy in my shop class I liked, that was basically the extent of it.”

“Oh boy I wish I could have seen you go to prom,” Lance said with a wistful expression. “I would pay to have seen that. Did you ever asked the guy?— which just by the way, I had a huge surge of jealousy for that I thought I should mention.”

Keith chuckled. “Well fortunately for you I didn’t ask him and I didn’t go to prom, so no need to be jealous.” He leaned forward and placed a brief kiss on the corner of Lance’s mouth before bending back under the hood of the car and going back to work. “Plus you’re way hotter than him anyway.”

He could feel Lance preening next to him. “Oh that makes me feel way better. What are the other guys you liked in high school? Just curious. It’s not like I’m gonna search for them on Facebook and see how republican and married they definitely are now.”

“Don’t do that,” Keith said sticking out a hand and stopping Lance from going for his phone. “Just rest assured that the hottest guy in my high school looked like a mix Jake Gyllenhaal and Niel Patrick Harris but like in a bad way.”

“So... like a white guy?” Lance said. He paused for a moment. “Yeah ok, I was hotter than that in high school—even if I wasn’t the hottest guy in my school. You would have dug me, even compared to your crush on the shop class guy or whatever that I’m not super jealous over.” Keith let out a snort, taking his hand back and continuing to work on the car. There was a brief pause. “Also the hottest guy in your high school was definitely you just saying,” he added quickly.  

“It really wasn’t,” Keith scoffed.

“ Keith, ” Lance stressed. “We’ve talked about this. We already agreed, many times, that you were and still are a snack and being captain of the mathletes is both adorable and hot because of the authority and power, and you were too oblivious to see that people were probably throwing themselves at you, like how many times do we have to go over this? You are a hot guy and people wanna date you and I’m gonna have to fight people off of you until we die.”

He pulled his head out from under the hood and looked up at Lance who was looking at him with his arms crossed and a small grin on his face. Keith leaned his hands on the lip of the hood for a moment before taking a step closer to Lance. “What about you?”

Lance visibly swallowed. “What about me?”

Keith took around step closer to him, rounding the front of the car. “Should I be jealous?” He got even closer, only about half a foot away from Lance.

“What, no, not at all. Of—of who?” Lance said quickly. His eyes quickly ran up and down from Keith’s lips as Keith got even closer to him.

“All the people you thought were hot, or think are hot right now maybe?” Keith said stepping into Lance’s space. He gently wrapped his fingers around Lance’s wrists and pulled his arms, uncrossing them and holding them out so they’d fall on either side of Keith’s body. “Or of people who think you’re attractive.”

“No,” Lance breathed out holding onto Keith’s hips and openly licking his lips as his eyes stared at Keith’s. “There’s no one.”

Keith shook his head briefly and sucked his teeth. “Yeah, see I disagree with that.”

Lance was staring up at him hungrily. “Are you jealous?”

“Nope,” Keith smirked. He moved his hands up to Lance’s face, leaving a streak of black motor oil on his cheek. “But I like that you are.”

He connected their lips, feeling Lance melt against him. A needy sound pulled from Lance’s throat as Keith pushed him up against the car. The both of them gripped each other tightly as they kissed, rocking up against one another. Keith fit a leg between Lance’s legs as he held Lance’s neck and face between his hands.

Wanting to be closer, Lance stuck his hands underneath Keith’s shirt, running his fingertips over the exposed skin that was slick with sweat from working. Pushing closer to him, Keith maneuvered his thigh to press up against Lance. He licked his way into Lance’s mouth, enjoying how pilant he was under him as Keith held him flat to the side of the car.

Something about Lance’s little jealousy act got inside Keith and made him feel like he needed to show Lance that there was no reason to be jealous. That Keith was entirely consumed by Lance and he shouldn’t worry. And that the best way of showing him that was to make him forget about anyone else but him for a while.

Keith pulled his mouth back, watching Lance’s lips chase him wanting him to come back. He had his thigh pressed against Lance’s groin, feeling him begin to grow stiff in his pants. The fingers Lance had under Keith’s shirt dug dully into his skin trying to bring him closer while a low desperate moan came from his throat.

“This is exactly what you wanted wasn’t it?” Keith breathed, his heavy lidded eyes scanning Lance’s flushed face. “You wanted me to push you up against the car like this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lance said, clearly lying. He kept trying to connect their lips but Keith kept moving his face out of range. “Ok yes,” he admitted with a half smirk.

“You think you can manipulate me so easily?” Keith said, applying more pressure with his thigh. Lance let out a shaky whimper, pulling Keith’s hips closer with his hands. He dipped his head down to rest his forehead on Keith’s shoulder, breathing heavily into the fabric. Keith grinned, “it’s shame I figured it out. You’re actually pretty good at it,” he added in a lower voice.

Lance sucked in a breath, digging his fingers more into Keith’s back. “Keith,” Lance exhaled quitely between breaths. “Keith please…”

“When are you gonna learn to not be so jealous?” Keith tisked.

He began moving his hips, grinding down against Keith’s thigh. “I won’t be anymore, I promise,” Lance whispered. “Keith, please….”

“What is it?” Keith asked.

“I need you…” Lance mumbled.

Keith slipped his hands down Lance’s chest, letting them rest at the waistband of his jeans. “I’ll do this for you if you promise me one thing.”

“What thing?”

“When you leave, and you’re home and you’re missing me and feeling jealous, remember this,” Keith said, dipping his fingers into Lance’s jeans. Kissing him one more time, Keith glanced back at the door to his workshop to make sure it was closed before moving down to his knees in front of Lance.

It was so strange to feel this confident doing this but he couldn’t deny that is exactly how he felt. There was a heady, powerful feeling of knowing precisely what to do to make Lance melt underneath him and that he could do it. He felt miles away from who he was only a week ago; nervous, unsure, and hesitant.

But this new Keith—the Keith that undid the fastenings on Lance’s jeans with ease, pulling him free of the fabric and working his length in his hand until he wrapped his mouth around the head— that Keith had no fear and no hesitation. He knew where he stood with Lance and he was ready to take some charge of their relationship. The thought of him anxiously choosing between condoms and fretting over the appropriate timeline of sexual milestones was hilarious to him now. He couldn’t believe how much he’d grown in the space of a week— in the space of a few days.

Lips wrapped around Lance’s cock, Keith looked up at him as he bobbed his mouth up and down, taking him in as deep as he could, working his hand on whatever he couldn’t reach. Meeting his gaze with heavy lidded eyes, Lance’s hand fingered through Keith’s hair holding it out of his face. A string of stifled moans and soft whimpers poured from Lance’s mouth, muffled by his other hand he had clamped over his lips.

After a little while Keith’s knees began to hurt but he ignored it, the reaction from Lance was too good to stop now. Closing his eyes, Keith quickened his pace on Lance’s dick. Still a novice, he gagged slightly at the intrusion in the back of his throat as he tried to take it as far as he could but that was all Lance needed before he was tugging at Keith’s hair, whispering that he was about to cum. Keith kept his lips around him, closing his eyes tightly as he felt cum fill his mouth. With a clumsy move backwards, Keith released his mouth from around his dick, a string of spit and cum still connecting them. Quickly he leaned to the side, his hand still holding Lance’s dick, and spit the rest on the floor.

Suddenly weak at the knee, Lance began to falter, held up by Keith’s hand on his hip. Releasing his hold on Lance’s dick, Keith got off the ground feeling equally as shaky. Letting out a heavy exhale, Lance rested his forehead on Keith’s shoulder as he tucked himself back into his pants. They stood here for a long moment, catching their breaths and holding each other with delicate hands.

There was an overwhelming feeling of having overcome something. Like a mental block that finally was gone Keith felt as if he’d finally done something he’d been wanting to but couldn’t until now. It was a weird sort of feeling to have after giving a blowjob but there he was, feeling it.

Thinking that he had to be perfect, that he was going to mess everything up, that Lance wouldn’t want to be with him if he wasn’t experiences or amazing, all of that sounded so stupid now. All the embarrassment and the fear that had been tormenting him felt years in the past despite being only a few days. He was feeling like the lifetime of hesitation and anxiety and ineptness evaporated with him taking control even for just something so ridiculous as this.  All his horrible and negative emotions that he’d convinced himself as being a huge insurmountable thing that was constantly sabotaging his happiness, was bested by one, messy, inexperienced blowjob. Who would have know?

“Hey,” Lance said softly after a minute. “Did you want me to?”

“No I’m actually ok,” Keith said. And he meant it in all ways possible.

Lance lifted his head from Keith’s shoulder and looked up at him. “You sure?”

“Mhm,” Keith hummed softly. With wobbly knees, he propped Lance up so he was standing.

“Ok,” Lance smiled, letting himself be manhandled. Keith went to walk back but Lance held him for an extra second. “Hey wait,” he said gently, still all soft from his orgasm “I don’t want you to think I’m like… you know, some jealous monster. I’m not, I swear.”

“I know,” Keith said with a short nod. He tenderly ran his thumb over Lance’s cheek, rubbing away the line of motor oil there.

There was a brief pause as they just looked at each other, eyes full of love.

“There’s still cum on the floor,” Lance said, breaking through that sweetness.

Keith snorted. “Yeah I’m gonna clean it up, I can just hose it down.”

“Oh ok I just didn’t want you to forget,” Lance said. “I’d be mortified if one of your dad’s came in and saw that.”

“God please, I was terrified that someone was gonna walk in on us,” Keith said grabbing the hose he kept on the back wall. Unspooling it, he dragged it over and rinsed down the cum into the nearby drain.

“Yeah that would have been fairly traumatic,” Lance shuddered. He watch Keith respool the hose and hang it in the wall before walking back over to him. Lance held out his arms, wiggling his fingers so Keith could walk into his embrace. “Are you almost done yet?” Lance asked pulling Keith into a hug. “I’m all tired now and I want to cuddle and watch a movie with you.”

“Almost,” Keith said into Lance’s neck. “But it’s gonna take me longer if I have to stop to suck your dick every few minutes.”

“Fair enough, that’s on me,” Lance shrugged. “Ok, I promise. No more distractions until you’re done.” His hands that were around Keith’s back began to slip down his spine until they reached the curve of his ass.

“Lance,” Keith said flatly.

“Oops.”

Chapter 16: The Bi says Bye

Somehow Keith had lost track of time. He wasn’t sure how they gone from having days left together to only a handful of hours. He couldn’t remember where the last of their time went and he desperately wanted it back.

His heart ached so painfully as he watched Lance pack his suitcase. He was sat cross legged on his bed, leaning his head in his palm, watching Lance get ready to leave. It was a pain that he hadn’t ever experienced before.

Even when he’d packed his things at Lance’s house he didn’t feel this level of heartache. Their relationship has grown so much and evolved into something so amazing during this brief week that the thought that Lance now had to leave after all that was so disheartening. He wished things were different and Lance and him never had to part, especially now that they’d got themselves to such a good place.

Keith wanted nothing more than to run over to Lance and throw his clothes out of his suitcase and beg him to stay. But he didn’t. He stayed quiet, watching Lance pack his things as he got ready to go.

Lance however seemed to be ignoring the melancholy and bittersweet emotions he should have been feeling, in favor of happy, excited emotions. The entire time he packed he talked about the road trip they were gonna take up to Austin, where they should stop for lunch, all the cool and weird parts of Texas he was gonna see again. His good mood was almost infectious if only Keith wasn’t so deeply steeped in his sour mood.

“—and you know what, I never did go to a Starbucks to get my mom one of those “you are here” mugs she loves but I’m sure I can probably get one at the airport or something, or if we see a Starbucks on the drive up let’s stop in real quick so I can get one and maybe also a caramel macchiato I miss those things so bad not that your coffee hasn’t been good it’s just that, well, you know, those things are delicious and I…” He trailed off as Lance finally stopped for breath.

Keith caught his eye realizing that Lance had stopped speaking because he looked up at him. “What?” He asked, slightly lifting his heads from where it was resting on his open hand.

Lance looked down for a moment, his smile slowly fading. “You look so sad.” He exhaled, putting down the shirt he was folding and got up from the floor and climbed up on the bed with Keith. Lance took his hands and maneuvered them so they were both lying down facing each other on the bed with their feet dangling off the side.  “Please don’t be sad,” Lance whispered. “If you’re sad, I’ll be sad and I don’t wanna be sad.”

“No promises,” Keith mumbled. Lance gave him a frown. “I’m just gonna miss you is all.”

“ Keith ,” Lance said affectionately with a shake of his head, taking Keith’s face in the palms of his hands. Keith let his face be squished and he looked up at Lance to see the knowing, nostalgic look on his face. “I’m not dying you know, I’m just going to New York.”

“You might as well be going to China,” Keith mumbled through squished together lips, finding himself smiling through the words.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Lance laughed.

“I’m gay, we’re always dramatic,” Keith continued through his squished cheeks. He could tell their little exchange, a fun reversal of their conversation in New York, had cheered them both up a bit.

Lance leaned in and kiss him, a brief, delicate kiss. “Come on, let’s not spend our last few hours being mopey.” He released the squish hold he had on Keith’s face.

“Ok,” Keith agreed.

---

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you guys?” Thace asked as they loaded Lance’s stuff into the truck.

“Yeah I’ll be ok,” Keith said closing the back door. “But thanks.”

“Honestly Keith I don’t mind, six hours round trip is kinda a long drive to do by yourself,” Thace said concernedly.

“I…” Keith paused, glancing over at where Lance was saying goodbye to Ulaz by the front door out of earshot. “I kinda want to um… I kinda want to have that time with him like uh… alone.” He looked back over to his dad, trying to say it in the most serious and not embarrassed way possible.

“Oh—oh of course,” Thace said. “You’re right. I was just Dad-ing you, but you’re right. Just be careful.” He patted Keith’s shoulder and turned to walk up the steps to the house.

Keith watched him embrace Lance as they said goodbye, telling him that he couldn’t wait to see him again. That made Keith feel ridiculously happy, even though he tried not to show it. Seeing the most important people in his life interacting and being happy was like being in a dream; one he never wanted to wake up from.

“Ok, I’m ready to go,” Lance said jumping down the steps and coming over to him.

Perhaps he’d woken up.

“Alright, let’s go,” Keith said gesturing to the truck behind him.

They both walked around to their respective seats and climbed inside. The mood between them was a quiet one. Keith shared a brief smile with Lance that didn’t quite reach either of their eyes. Even as they buckled in and Keith turned on the truck, neither of them made a comment about getting going.

They just looked at each other, silently saying more than they could ever do out loud. Keith could see the sadness and longing in Lance’s eyes and Keith was sure that Lance could how hard this was for him. Without a word, Lance reached his hand over and took Keith’s in his. There was a half smile on his face that melted Keith’s heart.

Taking a deep breath, Keith put the truck in drive, and drove away.

---

The drive to the airport was nice. If Keith pretended that this wasn’t the last time he was going to see Lance for a while.

It was warm for January, even in Texas. They drove with the windows down, the wind whipping through the car and onto their faces that were being warmed by the sun. Around them the scrublands and desolate restaurants with ominous names on lengthy roads punctuated by blink-and-you-miss-them small towns that they had passed by the first time seemed even sadder now somehow.

He knew he was going to pass again the long stretches of dust covered roads branching off into dirt paths with no streetlight illumination, every abandoned truck left to rust in the scrub brush, the smattering of trailers with almost all of the inhabitants belongings spread out in front of the lawn, the standalone barbecue eatery that had customers overflowing all which seemed to come from nowhere, the rolling hills that went on for miles in every direction, the cluster of houses that seem to crop up out of the surrounding bush. But on the way back alone, without Lance holding his hand.

Because now, as he drove towards the airport with one hand on the wheel, the other was held tenderly in Lance’s hand between their seats. And this, this was something Keith could get used to. And he had. And quickly. It was such a comfortable and easy thing for them, as if they’d been doing it for months.

Keith chanced a glance over at Lance in the passenger seat. Earlier, Lance had setup his Spotify to play, putting on what he called his “Dope Ass Road Trip Playlist” which was mostly just 70’s soft rock. It made for a nice tableau of Lance leaning back with his legs curled up, feet on the dashboard, the wind pushing his hair back and letting the bright Texas sun illuminate his face, as the distant rift of guitar strummed from the speakers. Keith wanted to live in this moment forever.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Lance hummed softly looking over at him.

“I’m not staring,” Keith denied, looking back out the windshield, knowing fully that he had been.

“You don’t have to deny it anymore you know,” Lance smirked. “There’s no use playing hard to get when I already got you.”

Keith laughed. “Fair enough.”

They lapsed into soft silence as the song changed. Out of the corner of his eye Keith watched Lance tapped his fingers on the top of his knee, happily humming along in time with the music. He felt a strong pull inside him to kiss him.

“I had fun,” Lance said after a minute. He rolled his head to the side and looked over at Keith. His thumb rubbed a small circle on Keith’s hand. “Spending this week with you, it was nice.”

Keith glanced at him. “Yeah it was.” He could feel the smile on his face.

“I’ve never been with someone like you before,” Lance said thoughtfully. Keith felt his heart beat a little faster in his chest. “This is like… a whole new feeling.”

“What is?” Keith asked.

Lance let out a small exhale. “I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” He paused, shifting in place as he thought. “It’s like… I’m happy, but it’s a different happiness. Like…like when I think about you my heart swells up and I feel like I’m gonna burst and then when I look at you…I’m calm again.”

Keith had no idea what to say to that. He could see Lance in his periphery, looking up at him with a open, warm expression. Their hands were still linked together in the middle between them. His hand was so warm and comforting in his hand and it was like they fit together so perfectly, as if they were made to hold hands. Lance’s words sunk into his mind and spread the love and happiness in his own heart.

“That’s gay,” Keith said after a moment.

Lance’s resulting laugh came out like a sudden wheeze and turned into a coughing fit he was still trying to laugh through. “Oh my god,” Lance half laughed half choked. “I mean, you’re not wrong.” He looked up at Keith with a big smile on his face and Keith glanced over at him a few times, trying not to get distracted by the dazzling expression Lance was giving him.

---

It was too soon by the time they pulled into the airport, a few hours later. No amount of preparedness was going to ease watching Lance leave. Keith felt heavy weight in his chest as he drove up to the drop off area, looking for Lance’s airline.

“It’s right there, up ahead,” Lance said pointing to the American Airlines sign. “All latinos fly American,” he joked. His voice didn’t seem to hold as much humor. Keith saw his face looked just how he felt.

Quietly, Keith pulled up, putting the truck in park. There was a brief moment where they both sat in their seats not moving. Like if either of them were to make a move suddenly all of this would be real.

But with a half smile, Lance sighed and unbuckled himself, Keith following suit. They both jumped down from the truck, opening the back doors and pulling out Lance’s bags. The silence between them seemed louder than the hustling soundscape of the airport all around them. Keith watched with a sad resignation as Lance stood on the sidewalk, making sure he had all his things with him.

“Ok,” Lance said with a wistful expression. “I guess this is it.”

Keith took a few steps forward, coming in close and taking Lance’s free hand in his.It felt so familiar after their week together and he was afraid he’d forget the feeling. “Yeah.” He looked up and met Lance’s gaze that was equally as dejected.

“You gonna miss me?” Lance asked knowingly with a small grin.

“Nah,” Keith said facetiously. Lance nudged his shoulder playfully. “Yeah of course I will.”

They looked at each other for a long moment. Keith watched as Lance’s eyes dipped down to his lips, and he instinctively licked them. “Can I?”

Without pause, Keith nodded briefly before leaning up and pressing their lips together. And it was soft and sad and loving and happy and everything. Every emotion Keith had felt this week— good, bad, love, fear, everything—it all went into their kiss. He quickly brought up his free hand and gently placed it on Lance’s cheek pulling them closer.

As emotion bubbled in his chest, Keith moved back slowly separating their lips. He saw Lance’s eyes flutter back open. For a second Keith almost forgot where he was until he heard the sound of cars honking and people moving and planes overhead.

“No goodbyes right?” Keith said remembering their last airport departure.

“No goodbyes,” Lance nodded. “See you later?”

Keith smiled softly. “Yeah see you later.”

Lance took a long, strained few seconds before forcing himself out of Keith’s grasp, though not without kissing him one more time. As soon as they were seperated, Keith immediately missed the feeling of Lance holding him, but he said nothing while Lance collected his bags and readied himself to walk away. He paused, looking at Keith like he had a million things to say but he couldn’t pick one.

Keith felt the same. Standing there, moments before Lance had to leave and he suddenly had so many things he wanted to say. He mentally kicked himself for wasting the week worrying when he could have been telling Lance he loved him every second of every day.

But Lance gave him a small smile and he returned it. And all those feelings of missed opportunities just vanished. He watched Lance take a step forward and then another and the walk into the airport eventually getting obscured by the throngs of people milling through and about the airport. It was bittersweet watching him walk away but Keith felt surprisingly ok about it.

Just as Keith turned and got into his truck he felt his phone vibrate with a text notification. Thinking it was his dad messaging to ask if he’d dropped off Lance, he pulled it out of his pocket but he was surprised to find a text from Lance. He smiled to himself as he read it.

Lance: I already miss you. I can’t wait for this summer

Notes:

thank you all for reading this!! i'm not 100% if i'm gonna write the third part but you can totally come and talk to me about it and all things klance on tumblr @daddyroboarm

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Online Relationship