Chapter Text
“Ben… Ben…“ he seemed to hear the whisper all the time now when he was alone in his room, when he walked down the long corridors of the Supremacy, when he flew his fighter. “Ben…“ spoken alternatively in Her voice, in Han’s, in his Mother’s – and most often in Skywalker’s.
He had killed Han and thought he might have killed Luke too – but then he was not certain. There was no body left behind on Crait, Skywalker had never really been there, not in the body anyway – and the shift in the Force he had believed to have felt – it might have been anything – Snoke dying and the Scavenger preserving – firmer than ever positioned in the Light now.
No, there was no guarantee at all that Luke was dead – and if Kylo Ren wanted to get rid of him for once and for all – he needed to find that damn island his traitorous Uncle had decided to call his home – the place he had seen in the Girl’s thoughts, in her memories. But then he was still lacking the name – and the place itself.
ooooo
It was hard to believe how much could happen in a single day, Kylo Ren mused when he, exhausted beyond belief, dropped down on his cot on the board of the Supremacy. Lying flat on his back and blankly starring at the cabin’s ceiling, the happening of the previous day played out in front of his eyes – Snoke, Hux, the Scavenger, Skywalker, his Mother…
He hated them, hated them all – all with the single exception of the girl, Rey. But then even the Scavenger had deserted him, had refused his hand, had rejoined his enemies – rather than accepting his offer that she would stand by his side, supporting him and ruling the Galaxy alongside with him. No, she was foolish enough as to believe the Light Side of the Force was stronger; to trust his murderous Uncle – who had almost killed him all the years ago, back when Ben Solo had only been a troubled teenager whose only sin was that he listened entirely too much to a mighty voice whispering in his head and promising him to finally be important to someone.
He had hoped the Scavenger would be the final answer to his quest for belonging – but she had abandoned him as everyone else had – Mother, Father, Uncle Luke. And now Her. He was the Supreme Leader now, damn it, he raged, his hands suddenly clenched in tight fists and the air around him cracking with the ever deepening Darkness summoned by his anger.
If she wouldn’t join him, there was only one way forward – to destroy her, and all her little friends – his Mother included. There was no place for a weakness like that in his life – no, especially not now when he was the sole heir and ruler of the Dark Side. And rule he would – while Armitage Hux would serve. He smirked in the anticipation of their next encounter. Nobody doubted the Supreme Leader. Nobody! And if anyone thought it wise to not follow his orders or even openly protest against them – well, he could not be hold responsible for their fate.
ooooo
Unless the Supreme Leader doubts himself. He could swear someone spoke those words aloud in his room. But nobody was there – not a real person, neither a hologram or an apparition – such as Her – or a Force ghost he had heard about from his Uncle many years ago.
He shuddered, no, Skywalker would not stay behind. And neither would Snoke. Not if even Darth Vader had not replied to him – no matter how much he had tried to find and contact him within the undying Force.
Don’t be so sure, Ben – again the whisper. Stranger things have happened in this Galaxy, remember, young man!
No, no more listening to this nonsense – He was powerful, He was invincible, nobody told Him what to do and how to act – no, not now when He was finally free!
And are you? Are you indeed? Skywalker’s aged voice resonated all around him. Kylo did not see him – but he felt his presence. He drew out his lightsaber and ignited it – the unstable fire blade dancing all around him as he tried to follow the voice and attack the man behind it. “I will kill you,” he hissed into the empty air surrounding him.
You cannot do what has already happened, Ben. The voice was calm and strangely fond.
“I did not kill you yet! You cannot deny me the right to!” Kylo Ren thundered, his blind slashes becoming wilder and wilder, the fire blade never stopping. “I will kill you, no matter what it takes!”
No, you won’t. Nobody can do that now.
“I don’t believe you!” Kylo shouted, the walls of his sanctuary shaking with his awakened temper. “I will take my revenge! I promise you!”
I have already been punished; my pride robbed me of all I had held dear once. Death is nothing else than deliberating for me, Ben. Remember that old saying? The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Think about it. I thought I was right – and now you are repeating my mistake.
“You hypocrite!” Ren was out of his mind with rage by that point – the spare pieces of furniture in the room around him threatening to come apart with the power of his anger.
Yes, that I might be. Or was anyway… Good night, Ben. No need to destroy your room. I will be back though. At some later point. We need to talk.
“You are not welcome here! Not wanted!” Kylo Ren did not want a repeat of this. Skywalker would better listen to him!
Perhaps. But that does not mean I am not needed. And with those words the strange feeling in the Force disappeared.
Kylo was none the wiser if Skywalker had indeed been there or not. He switched off the saber and sank on his bed, hanging his head and gripping it by his hands in frustration. This was not happening, not now. Not when he finally fully embraced the Darkness… But then – did he? There was still doubt in his core – a doubt he had to erase – and better sooner than later…
ooooo
Then another voice resounded in his mind – much more welcome and dearer to him. The Girl, that little Scavenger. His counterpart in the Force. The other half.
And she repeated the words from that very afternoon: “You are not alone. It isn’t too late…”
But wasn’t it? He did not know any longer.