Work Text:
“I bet you can’t go more than two minutes without talking.”
Oikawa pauses mid-rant. “You know, Makki, it’s rude to cut people off.”
“My point still stands,” Hanamaki shrugs.
“It would be nice to not hear about every single detail of your life,” Matsukawa cuts in.
“Fine,” Oikawa pouts. He doesn’t even bother asking Iwaizumi who he agrees with. “You guys are mean. I bet you that I can go a full 24 hours without talking.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Iwaizumi tries to say, but the others pretty obviously don’t care about his warnings.
“Don’t tell me you don’t think I can do it, too!”
“It’s not that, I just-” Iwaizumi starts. He stops himself before he can say anything about how he could possibly miss the sound of Oikawa’s voice. “What about practice?” he asks instead and gives himself a mental pat on the back for his save.
“We’ll start after practice,” Hanamaki supplies. “We don’t have anything going on tomorrow anyway, we can have a sleepover so Issei and I can make sure Oikawa doesn’t cheat.”
“Isn’t Iwa-chan enough?” Oikawa asks.
“Iwaizumi is willing to lie for you,” Matsukawa deadpans.
“I wouldn’t-!” Iwaizumi tries to protest, but they continue without him. It’s fair, though. Probably. Iwaizumi had been known to lie occasionally to get Oikawa in less trouble. The tragic part is that Iwaizumi can’t ever lie for himself, but when it’s for Oikawa, he can.
“Exactly. We want to be sure you make it a full 24 hours.”
Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Fine. As soon as I go into the locker room after practice the time starts. You three have to tell anyone who asks why I’m not talking, though. And whoever wins gets to pick the next movie we watch.”
“Deal,” Hanamaki says, sticking his hand out for Oikawa to shake. Iwaizumi drops his head in defeat. He knows there’s no way that he won’t suffer during this.
Practice is, for the most part, uneventful. There’s the usual fuckery from the other third years (okay, yes, Iwaizumi too), but other than that, there’s nothing. Iwaizumi hopes, prays that the others have forgotten about the bet, but he really doubts that.
Oikawa’s dragging his feet by the end of practice and Iwaizumi’s worried he’ll have to find a way to make Oikawa stop at a reasonable hour when Hanamaki, somehow, helps him out.
“You can’t just stay out of the locker room to avoid the bet, you know!” he yells from across the gym.
“I’m almost done, Makki, calm down!” Oikawa yells back.
“I want to leave, so hurry up!”
Oikawa huffs but starts picking up anyway. Normally, Iwaizumi would stay behind to make sure Oikawa finished picking up, but with Hanamaki there nagging Oikawa to go faster, he doesn’t have to worry as much, so he heads into the locker room to change.
It’s strange, to say the least, when Oikawa comes into the locker room without a sound. Iwaizumi’s not sure he likes it. In fact, he’s almost certain he hates it. Silence doesn’t suit Oikawa Tooru. He’s always thinking too much when he’s silent. Oikawa Tooru is supposed to be expressive, loud, present. Iwaizumi glances over at Oikawa again to find him staring at him, biting his lip.
“Shut the fuck up,” Iwaizumi says.
Oikawa tilts his head innocently. But I didn’t say anything, Iwa-chan.
“I know you didn’t say anything. Shut the fuck up.”
Hanamaki nearly flies into the room. “Did I hear you tell Oikawa to stop talking?”
“No,” Iwaizumi corrects him, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “I told him to shut the fuck up.”
Hanamaki gives him a pained look. “There is no difference.”
Iwaizumi and Oikawa share a look. “Sure there is,” he says and Oikawa nods along with him. “He doesn’t need to be talking to shut up. If I wanted him to stop talking I’d tell him to stop talking.”
Hanamaki drags his hand down his face. “Oh my god. There’s not-” he cuts himself off with a frustrated sigh. Iwaizumi and Oikawa shrug at each other. “You know what, let’s just leave.”
The walk back to Oikawa’s house is unnervingly, in Iwaizumi’s opinion, quiet. He keeps glancing over at Oikawa, expecting him to say something eventually. It’s probably around the fifth time his gaze falls on Oikawa that Oikawa finally catches him. (That’s what Iwaizumi tells himself, but he’s fairly certain Oikawa has been watching him since the beginning.) One of his brows raises and Iwaizumi looks away quickly.
“Shut up Oikawa,” he grumbles.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa stop in front of them.
“Oikawa didn’t talk, did he?” Matsukawa asks.
Hanamaki shakes his head. “It’s a weird couple thing they do.”
Iwaizumi nearly chokes on his own spit. “We’re not- that’s not- we’re not a couple,” he manages out. Oikawa looks just about as red as he does, but he crosses his arms and turns his nose up. “Also Oikawa says that if any of us act like a couple it’s you and Mattsun.”
Everyone goes quiet at that, staring at him. Iwaizumi starts to fidget under their gaze. Oikawa’s staring at him, eyes wide open. Hanamaki and Matsukawa are squinting at him, but he’s not sure what that’s about.
“Repeat that for us one more time?” Hanamaki asks.
“I said we’re not a couple and that Oikawa says that if any of us act like a couple it’s you and Mattsun,” Iwaizumi repeats slowly, unsure if he said something wrong. The words really just came out as he was looking at Oikawa’s face. He’d never even thought about the ways that Hanamaki and Matsukawa act like a couple.
“Firstly,” Hanamaki puts a finger up, “we act like a couple because we are a couple-”
“You are?” Iwaizumi interrupts, trading a shocked look with Oikawa.
“We told you about that,” Matsukawa adds. “Don’t you remember the time when we asked what you two would think of us dating and you both said you would be fine with it?”
Iwaizumi and Oikawa nod.
“That was us telling you we were in a relationship and wanted to know what you thought.”
“Ohh, that makes sense,” Iwaizumi says. “We just kinda thought you were discussing hypothetical situations.”
Hanamaki and Matsukawa share a look that Iwaizumi can’t read. “Oh my god no wonder they’re-”
“Shh!” Matsukawa shushes Hanamaki and covers his mouth with his hand. “We don’t want to just tell them. Anyway,” he says, turning back to Oikawa and Iwaizumi, “we’re dating. That’s why we act like a couple. Because we are one.”
“Anyway, moving on,” Hanamaki pushes Matsukawa’s hand away, “the second issue is how you knew that.”
“Knew what?” Iwaizumi asks.
“What Oikawa would say,” Hanamaki clarifies irritatedly. “Did he text you or something?”
Iwaizumi shakes his head. “I just saw him do this,” Iwaizumi repeats Oikawa’s previous actions, “and took my best guess. Oikawa’d make it pretty clear if I was wrong, so I think I just let it slip out.”
“So you just guessed?” Matsukawa asks. Iwaizumi nods. “You know what, nevermind, let’s just keep going.”
Iwaizumi shrugs and follows them as they lead the rest of the way to Oikawa’s house in that same unnerving silence.
The rest of the night goes as one might expect. They play some video games, eat food they really shouldn’t, fall asleep way too late, the usual. The only difference being Iwaizumi accidentally blurting out the things Oikawa would say if he could. His throat is getting sore from all the talking.
Oikawa is a lot more tactile, too. Maybe not enough for Hanamaki and Matsukawa to notice, but enough for Iwaizumi to be painfully aware of Oikawa hanging off his shoulder for most of the night (and into the morning). Okay, Hanamaki and Matsukawa probably notice when Oikawa insists on sleeping right next to Iwaizumi. If one could classify practically-on-top-of as right-next-to. And Iwaizumi’s sure they notice in the morning the way that Iwaizumi and Oikawa naturally gravitated towards each other in their sleep.
When Iwaizumi wakes up to the flash on Matsukawa’s phone, his first thought, surprisingly isn’t of murder. His first thought is how he hopes his weird psychic Oikawa sense has worn off. His second thought is of murder. His third thought is something along the lines of Oikawa is Too Strong in his sleep and really needs to let go. So Iwaizumi is stuck with Oikawa attached to him and Matsukawa taking blackmail pictures.
“You know, Iwaizumi,” Matsukawa says quietly. “If you really wanted to get away from him I’m sure you could.”
“I swear, Matsukawa”
“I know you do,” he cuts him off with a small little smile. “You do it all the time at Oikawa. And if you really wanted to get away you could, you know, not have your arms wrapped around him too.”
Iwaizumi’s silent for a second before taking his eyes off of Matsukawa. “Shut up,” he mutters.
“I’m just sayin.”
“So you and Hanamaki are actually dating?” Iwaizumi asks instead of responding. Matsukawa nods, going through the pictures on his phone.
“Have been for a while now, I think almost six months. I don’t really know, though. I don’t actually remember the specific day we started dating.”
“Huh,” Iwaizumi hums. He shrugs. “I’m going back to sleep.”
“Done trying to pretend you don’t like it?” Matsukawa asks. Iwaizumi shrugs again and presses his face into Oikawa’s chest. What Oikawa doesn’t know he did while fully conscious won’t hurt him.
The next time Iwaizumi wakes up, Oikawa’s long gone. Well, saying long gone makes it seem like Oikawa abandoned him. What Iwaizumi means is that Oikawa has gotten up and is currently being heckled by Hanamaki and Matsukawa only a few meters away.
Iwaizumi picks up his blanket and wraps it around himself, going over to stand by the other three.
“Good to see you’re finally awake, Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki drawls. “We were just trying to figure out what Oikawa wants to eat this morning.”
Oikawa huffs and turns to Iwaizumi, frustration written all over his face. “Obviously he wants an omelette. And his phone back,” Iwaizumi says, pausing in between sentences to cough a little. His throat feels even worse after waking up a second time. “What do you two want?”
“We’ll have the same,” they answer in unison.
“How do you do that, by the way?” Hanamaki asks as they all sit and wait for Iwaizumi to make them food. “The weird mind-read-y thing.”
Iwaizumi shrugs. “It just happens I guess. I mean, I don’t think I can do it all the time, but right now I can’t really help it.”
“What do you mean you can’t help it?” Hanamaki asks.
“I just look at Oikawa and if he would say something, I end up saying it, y’know?”
“No.”
Iwaizumi looks over at Oikawa. “Your opinion doesn’t count because you thought it was normal to stand in your backyard waiting for aliens in the middle of the night.”
Oikawa pouts and looks down at his phone.
“It’s also perfectly normal to want to meet Godzilla and you thought that was weird.”
Hanamaki leans over to stage whisper, “That’s because it is.”
“Objectively, which is weirder?” Iwaizumi asks.
“Both are equally weird,” Matsukawa responds. Hanamaki nods in agreement. Oikawa just points at Iwaizumi.
“No, my thing does not count as the most weird just because technically it’s three votes for me and two for you. You’re biased.”
Oikawa raises an eyebrow and it’s clear to even Hanamaki and Matsukawa that he’s challenging that statement.
“Anyway, why aren’t you making the food? It’s your house?” Hanamaki asks.
Oikawa shrugs. “He says it’s because I just naturally choose to cook for him, but it’s because he can’t cook to save his life.”
“Can he cook to end it?” Matsukawa says.
Iwaizumi laughs. “He melted a toaster once. And he’s set more things on fire while cooking than I care to count.”
Oikawa slams his phone down onto the counter and glares at Iwaizumi.
“Forget I said the part about the toaster, I wasn’t supposed to bring that up ever again,” he corrects himself, ducking as Oikawa starts throwing whatever he can reach at Iwaizumi. Dodging doesn’t work very well because Oikawa just seems to know where he’ll be if he dodges. “Oh or tell anyone else.”
Iwaizumi manages not to slip up and tell any more apparent secrets through the rest of breakfast and throughout most of the day, too. His voice keeps getting worse and worse, though and he tries to stop talking for Oikawa, he really does, but it just. Doesn’t work.
“I feel like, somehow, this may have been a bad idea,” Hanamaki says about five minutes before the 24 hours is up.
“No shit,” Iwaizumi mutters. “Not like I said that at the start of this.”
“What a stunning discovery you’ve made Hanamaki,” Matsukawa responds, completely ignoring Iwaizumi. “You must be the first to have ever thought of that.”
“I hate both of you,” Iwaizumi grumbles. “You’re the worst. Who’s even suffering from this bet? It’s me.”
Oikawa sets a mug of chamomile tea in front of him and pats him on the head.
“Is there honey?” he asks before shaking his head. “Of course there’s honey. Thanks.”
“Honestly, Iwaizumi, I would feel bad for you,” Hanamaki starts, trailing off.
“But?” Iwaizumi asks and winces slightly at how sore his throat is.
“You kinda brought this upon yourself with all the talking,” Matsukawa finishes for him. “You coulda stopped at any point.”
Iwaizumi groans and lays his head down on his arms. “Not really,” he says and tries to tell himself he’s not pouting. Because he’s not. At all. (Maybe just a little.)
“Time’s up, by the way, Oikawa,” Hanamaki says.
“Oh my god, Iwa-chan are you okay?” Oikawa rushes out quickly, grabbing Iwaizumi’s face with both of his hands and staring at him. It takes Iwaizumi a good second to process what Oikawa had said, slowing down the words to an understandable pace in his brain.
“I’m fine,” he responds, burying his face back in his arms when his voice cracks. He can hear Hanamaki and Matsukawa snickering behind him and he picks his head up to tell them to shut up. Only. Nothing comes out. He coughs once, twice, tries again. Nothing. Iwaizumi’s eyes widen in surprise.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa laugh harder and Iwaizumi glares at him. “I can’t believe you lost your voice,” Matsukawa says, apparently unable to stop laughing.
Iwaizumi wants to deny it, but he can’t even do that. Instead, he takes a sip of the tea Oikawa made him. It’s perfect, just how he likes it. For a fleeting second, he thinks about taking advantage of Oikawa’s guilt over this, but that thought is quickly wiped from his mind when he sees the unamused look Oikawa is giving him. Right. He forgot. He’s got the weird Oikawa sense, but Oikawa has a weird Iwaizumi sense.
’I like it. Thanks,’ Iwaizumi signs to Oikawa.
“I’m glad you like it!” Oikawa says brightly.
“Don’t tell me you can do the weird thing Iwaizumi’s been doing too,” Hanamaki groans.
Oikawa laughs. “No, we both learned sign language a few years ago. I was just going to sign instead of talking, but then Iwa-chan just started acting as some sort of translator for me. I might be able to, though. Let’s see,” he hums and stares at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi has a feeling this won’t end well for him and he wasn’t wrong the last time.
Oikawa’s staring at him and staring at him and Iwaizumi gets a little restless. His gaze shifts between Oikawa’s eyes and his hair and his arms resting on the counter and back to his eyes and then his lips and fuck he needs to look at anything else right now. He looks back up at Oikawa’s eyes and sees surprise written there and something else.
And then Oikawa grabs the front of his shirt and Iwaizumi’s entire mind short circuits. He nearly knocks over his tea when Oikawa pulls him forward and meets him in the middle for a kiss. Oikawa pulls back with a smirk and Iwaizumi’s fairly certain that even if he could speak, he wouldn’t be able to.
“I think we’re gonna need a PDA jar,” Matsukawa says, startling Iwaizumi. He had honestly forgotten about Hanamaki and Matsukawa. “What will the children think?”
“Oh my god Mattsun, stop talking,” Oikawa whines.
Hanamaki laughs. “You know, I think I understand now. There is a difference between stop talking and shut up.”