Chapter Text
"So we're working on it. Or, well...Pidge and Allura are, mostly. Hunk's helping."
"You guys really don't have to do that."
"We want to. I want to."
Shiro's copy reluctantly met Lance's eyes, the stars all around him glittering in his own.
Lance stuck his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "You didn't ask for this. It's something that happened to you. You deserve another life. Something you have control of this time."
"I hurt you," said the copy. "I hurt Keith. More than just the scar--the things I said."
"It wasn't you. It was Haggar. And you..." Lance sighed. "You deserve better."
The copy looked at his feet.
"I'm not even sure we should have done this swap in the first place," said Lance. "You--"
"No," said the copy. "If you could have asked me, I would have told you to do it anyway. That's not my face to claim. I'm not Shiro, I'm...something else."
"Someone else," corrected Lance. "And that's okay. You shouldn't be Shiro, you should be yourself. You can be..." He scratched the back of his head. "I don't know, Takashi? Or..."
The copy scuffed his shoe on the reflective surface beneath him. "...Ryou."
"Ryou?"
"I like the name Ryou," said the copy. Said Ryou.
Lance nodded. "Okay. I'll remember that."
Ryou didn't answer, and Lance knew that was as far as they'd get for one day. He took a step back.
"Well, I better go. But, um... Hang in there, okay? The whole android body situation will be ready before you know it. Like, months, not years. Okay?" He took another step. "See you later, Ryou."
"...See you, Lance."
Lance opened his eyes to a white surface and lifted his head off Black's muzzle. He stroked their nose in silent thanks, and they lifted their head, high and proud, taking Ryou with them.
It had been a long couple of weeks. Traveling without the teludav was slow-going, but it was just a couple more weeks before they reached Olkarion, and then, since Allura decided it was safe enough with the Galra Empire essentially dissolved, and they all needed the morale if people were Wish-Walking, the plan was to take a trip to Earth.
Home.
Lance was looking forward to it. He really was. He needed a hug from his mom more than ever after all he'd seen. But he was having trouble feeling happy about it. Or...anything, really.
Lance joined Ralivela on his bed, and she dutifully climbed, snuffling, onto his chest and laid her head down where he could scratch behind her ear.
He'd barely gotten comfortable when the door opened.
"Heard of knocking?"
"Sorry, I was just..."
Lance lifted his head.
Keith--of course it was him--shifted awkwardly in his doorway.
Lance sighed and gestured grandly at the space by his legs. "Okay, fine. Sit down. Tell me why you're here."
"I, um..." Keith crossed the short distance from the door to the edge of Lance's bed. "I just wanted to make sure you were, uh, okay. That everyone's treating you how they're supposed to and...stuff."
"Yeah," said Lance passively. "Everyone's been really nice. It's great."
"Oh. Um. ...Good." Keith shifted his weight. The bed creaked. "You don't...seem--"
"I've seen some shit, Keith," said Lance. "Wish-Walking sucked for me. It was a whole lot of awful followed by a whole lot of wonderful and then the worst day of my life. I have to fight tears off at least one time every day. It feels like I'm going through a breakup with a whole reality and I miss it. I miss them. I miss..."
Him.
I miss him.
But he's you, and I missed you, and I feel so fucking...
...stupid.
Keith stared at Lance, wide-eyed and speechless.
Lance averted his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm--"
"No, don't... Don't apologize," said Keith. "You don't have to apologize to me."
Lance closed his eyes.
"...Do you want to talk about it?" asked Keith. "The...Walk?"
"Yes," grumbled Lance. "But if I say anything, it's going to make things weird."
"Weird?"
"Yeah. Weird."
"...Whatever you wished for, I'm not going to judge--"
"I know, I know. That's not what I mean."
Keith's gloves creaked as he clenched his hands into fists on his knees. "I...guess I should go, then." He stood from Lance's bed and headed for the door.
Lance caught his sleeve as he passed.
Keith stopped.
Lance found his eye, and cautiously, he sat up, setting Ralivela aside.
"Can I, uh..." Lance cleared his throat. "...Can I get a hug, actually?"
Keith raised his eyebrows, then a soft smile tugged at his lips. "...Yeah. I can do that."
"I'm in love with Keith."
Allura didn't answer.
Neither did Hunk.
"I just..." Lance laid his hands on his stomach, careful not to disturb the fresh nail polish. Allura's bed squeaked beneath him. "I had to tell someone."
Hunk rolled onto his front and looked up from the floor. "Okay... Can't say I was expecting that."
"Neither was I, buddy," said Lance. "Neither was I."
"Is that...what you wished for?" asked Allura. "For Keith to be in love with you?"
"...I just wanted to see him," said Lance.
"That's ironic," said Hunk. "You know, considering his wish was to see you and he was right here the whole time and he probably would have come straight home if you asked him."
Lance closed his eyes.
A gentle hand wrapped around his arm.
"Does he know?"
"Know what?" asked Lance. "That his voice ties my entire digestive system into decorative bows and every time he touches me it sets my skin on fire and I'd throw myself into a supernova if it meant he'd live a long life where he smiles as much as he deserves every single day until he dies the oldest recorded part-human to ever exist? Hah, yeah, no, I'm gonna pass on that one."
Lance let go of a heavy breath. "I'm not Wish-Walking anymore. I don't just...get things I want. I have to live with that."
Neither Allura nor Hunk answered. It seemed they didn't know how.
Lance didn't blame them.
"All right! That should do it!"
Coran clapped his hands on the panel he'd just closed and climbed to his feet.
"Thanks to the Olkari--and the two of you, of course--we should arrive on Earth in no time."
"I didn't do anything," mumbled Lance.
"That's not true," assured Pidge. "It would have taken us longer to finish without you running things back and forth for us."
"You mean Rallie running things back and forth," grumbled Lance.
The wolf at his ankles whined.
"She can't hold that whole box," assured Coran. "You're invaluable to us, Lance."
He patted Lance's back before disappearing who-knows-where.
Pidge leaned against the railing.
Lance leaned into the wall and slid to the floor.
"...So," said Pidge. "You looking forward to Earth? I know you've wanted to see your family for a long time."
Lance shrugged.
"Hey." Pidge kicked the sole of Lance's shoe. "At least you're not in my situation. You got yanked into space by a giant robot. I ran away. I have to face my mom after that, and I have to re-come-out. 'Hey, Mom, you know how I said I was a girl and swore it wasn't a phase? Guess what! I might actually not be a girl! I'm still figuring out what I am!' I mean, don't get me wrong, whatever I am, I'm happy to be that, but... You're lucky you never have to deal with coming out to your family. It's the most stressful experience you'll ever go through. Wondering if your family's love for you is conditional, and that condition is something you can't change, is..."
Pidge trailed off.
Probably because Lance had curled into a ball and hidden his face in his knees in a sour attempt to get his stomach to stop twisting.
Pidge kneeled in front of Lance. "Are you okay?"
Lance tried to shrug, or to say yes, to tell Pidge he was fine. His body didn't feel like cooperating.
"...Are you..." Pidge kneeled beside him. "...Are you not the cis, straight guy I thought you were?"
Every word seemed to echo in the vast, empty cylinder they sat in.
A small, thin hand landed on Lance's leg.
"...I didn't know that about you."
The hand retracted, quickly replaced by a weak hug. "Look, you have nothing to worry about. If your family winds up sucking, you have another family here. But they won't. Your family on Earth... I can tell they're cool. You wouldn't talk about them the way you do if they weren't awesome."
Lance lifted his head. He felt tears roll down his cheeks with the change in gravity. "You...actually listen when I talk about them?"
"Of course I do," said Pidge. "If I didn't listen to you, I wouldn't have stuff to tease you about. I just..." They hugged him tighter. "...didn't listen close enough."
Lance sniffed.
"Do you want me to go with you?" asked Pidge. "Be your cool trans friend who shows them how awesome us queer folk are?"
"No." Lance ducked his head. "I should be able to face my own family at least, right?"
"Okay," said Pidge. "But if you need some butts kicked, come find me, okay?"
And for the first time in weeks, Lance felt himself smile.
"...Okay."
It was surreal, to say the least.
Lance was back at his own front door, something so deeply, viscerally familiar it felt like it was carved into his being. He couldn't have possibly counted the number of times he'd walked through that same door, but it seemed so unaccessible to him now, as if his home, his family, his past had died and he stood at its grave.
But that wasn't quite true. His past wasn't what had died. It was him.
The same Lance that had walked through that door so many countless times didn't exist anymore. That Lance died the day he first saw his friends die. Or the day he'd lost Keith again and again, knowing there was no way to save him.
Or maybe that Lance had never even made it off Earth.
Lance rubbed his arms. Would his family even want to see this version of him? The Lance who killed aliens, who rebelled against dictators, who meddled in conflicts that had no bearing on him...who fell in love with boys?
Ralivela hopped up and put her paws on Lance's leg.
Lance picked her up and took a deep breath.
If he chickened out, he'd regret it. He knew he would. He just...had to be brave.
Lance swallowed hard and rapped his knuckles on the door, still holding Rallie like a security blanket.
From inside, he heard the creak of someone standing from a chair and the gentle thumps of feet through the house.
The jiggle of a doorknob.
The creak of an opening door.
Lance looked up.
His father looked back at him, eyes wide and growing wider by the second.
Lance cleared his throat. "...Hey, Pop."
His father promptly fainted.
It was a long time before Lance had a chance to catch his breath.
He sat in the childhood bedroom he shared with Rachel, completely ignored the rule his mother had given him straightaway about letting his alien dog on the bed, and took in the empty familiarity.
It all still felt so far away. His clothes even didn't seem like they would fit, though he knew they would if he tried them. They felt like they were bought for another person.
The door opened, and in Lance's doorway stood Veronica, a plate in her hands. Probably leftovers at the speed with which they were made, but Lance couldn't find it in him to care. It was Earth food. His mom's food. And...
"Are those garlic knots?"
Veronica nudged the door closed with her hip and handed Lance the plate. "I wish I could say they were fresh, but yeah, two days old or not, I figured--"
Lance sank his teeth in.
Veronica set a drink she'd brought on Lance's nightstand. "Damn. What were they feeding you in outer space?"
"Green, starchy goo, mostly." Lance offered Ralivela a piece of bread.
She sniffed it once before rejecting it.
Lance shrugged. Her loss.
"Hunk did the best he could with what we had, though. We didn't eat the goo all the time."
"I'm still trying to absorb all this," said Veronica. "If it wasn't for the little friend you brought with you, I don't think I'd believe any of it."
"Be glad it's just Rallie," said Lance as Veronica joined him on the bed. "Hunk gets the pleasure of introducing Slav to his family."
"Slav?"
"You don't want to know."
"Hm." Veronica leaned back on her hands. "So, some presumed alien named Slav, a space ship with the two survivors of a critically endangered alien species found sleeping inside, the missing Takashi Shirogane and Matt Holt, sentient Lion ships that bond with your soul energy, and a cosmic wolf. Anything else you want to add?"
"The wolf teleports."
"Of course she does."
Lance pushed his pizza in a circle on his plate.
"There's...one more thing. Something I..."
He bit his lip.
Veronica leaned closer. "What is it? Are you okay?"
No. No, Lance wasn't. But...
"Remember that time I made you cry because I didn't realize you were bi and accidentally made a rejection a whole lot worse?"
"Huh? Lance, that wasn't your fault. Sadie made me cry. You just brought it up. You didn't even know."
Lance set his plate aside. "I still upset you, though. I messed up because I assumed you liked her brother and made it seem like the only option and...it was stupid and heteronormative and I was dumb. And I'm sorry."
"That happened years ago," hushed Veronica. "Why are you bringing it up now?"
"Because, um..." Lance shifted his feet. "Because...I'm...bi. I'm bi. There's this guy on my team and I... God, Ronnie, he's so out of my league. If you met him, if you knew-- He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous, and he makes everything he does seem effortless, and he's... He's my best friend. He'd never hurt me, not on purpose, but I know he doesn't like me like that because I was an asshole to him when we first met and I know I'm going to get hurt one way or another. Especially because I just-- Okay, so I was in another reality--yeah, I know, more weird space stuff--and in that reality, I got everything I wanted, including him! But I don't get to have that anymore and now I just know what it's like to lose him and every time I look at him I just remember how great of a kisser he was and how safe I felt in his arms-- Why aren't you telling me to shut up?!"
Veronica reached out carded her fingers through Lance's hair, almost more mother than sister. "Because I know how all this feels." She made a face. "Well... Maybe not the Star Trek parts, but everything else? Yeah. I get it. And..." She ruffled his hair. "Because you're my little brother. It's my job to to take care of you."
"But I was a jerk to you when you came out."
"I forgave you for that a long time ago, Lance. You gotta learn to let things go. It's going to tear you apart if you don't." Veronica reached out and pulled Lance into a hug. "I'm kind of relieved. If you saw other worlds and the big problem you came back with is realizing you like boys, that means we're still on the same level. I don't know if I could handle some kind of...psychological effect humans haven't been exposed to yet, but gay stuff? Gay stuff I can help you with. I can hold you and tell you I still love you and promise to take out any guy who breaks your heart."
"Don't do that," said Lance, half-hearted, blinking away tears that had nothing to do with less-than-serious threats to beat Keith into the dirt. "He's a Paladin. He's kind of important."
"You think I care?" asked Veronica. "I'll rearrange his teeth. I don't give a fuck."
Lance laughed and held Veronica with all his might, hiding his face in her shoulder.
She rubbed his back. "So, what's your plan? Are you telling Mom and Dad?"
"...Do I have a choice?"
"Of course you do," said Veronica. "There's no law that says you have to be out to your parents. If you're not ready, you don't have to tell a soul."
Lance chewed his lip. "...Maybe I'll tell them next time I visit. There's just...a lot of other stuff to deal with right now."
"Got it," said Veronica. "Your secret's safe with me." She patted his back sharply. "But seriously, tell me if this guy hurts you. I'll stuff him in Mom's new food processor."
"...You know, he's part alien. He's probably stronger than you think."
"So? I bet he still purees the same."
Apparently, Sam was in a bit of a bind before they showed up.
Pidge didn't stand for the bullshit the first time, and they sure as hell weren't about to stand for it a second time.
...So it was a good thing Shiro was there to keep them from getting in trouble.
Between him and Allura, Sam's peaceful release was negotiated, but not before Matt was informed.
By the time Matt showed up, the situation was resolved.
And...another situation popped up in its place.
A situation only Lance seemed bothered by.
Matt hadn't come to Earth by himself.
He...
He brought his girlfriend.
And Lance, for reasons he couldn't quite articulate, was taking that more personally than anyone else. All he knew was that watching Shiro and Matt talk made his stomach turn.
They spoke in hushed tones.
Shiro crossing his arms, flesh and new Olkari arm alike, over his stomach.
Matt's eyes wide and uncertain.
Lance stalking them from across the filthy, sandy hangar, feeling as though his stomach had caught fire.
Matt and Shiro nodded to each other in turn and began to walk away from one another, Matt returning to where N-7 waited for him, Shiro seemingly aimless.
Lance couldn't take it anymore. He stormed forward, fists clenched, knowing he had to do something, had to...fix...something. But a tiny, blue hand grabbed onto the sleeve of his jacket.
"I would not recommend that. It's a very dangerous choice."
Lance flinched away from Slav. "Where did you come from?!"
Slav just shrugged. "Eh."
Lance rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Shiro, still meandering away from Matt at a painfully slow speed.
"How am I supposed to just sit here?" snapped Lance. "They're clearly in love! This is so stupid!"
"You wouldn't be changing anything by bringing that information to the surface," said Slav. "You would only cause more pain. Confusing conflict. In attempting to bring them together now, you could ruin their friendship permanently. And think of N-7. She's found love with someone who treats her as an equal. That's something she may never find anywhere else."
"Because she's a robot," grumbled Lance.
"And does that change anything?" asked Slav. "Aren't you and your friends trying to build a robot body for the Shiro replica? Does he not deserve love?"
"That's different."
"Is it?" asked Slav. "They are both sapient beings. What could possibly make them different?"
Lance clenched his teeth.
Slav patted his arm. "You cannot change the past. From the moment Matt met the Shiro replica and assumed his feelings were unrequited, his fate to move on was sealed."
"But I've seen them together!" said Lance. "They were happy! I--"
"Is this really about Matt and Shiro?" asked Slav. "Or is this about you?"
Lance fell silent.
"The past cannot be changed," repeated Slav. "As we move through the paths of our lives, certain doors are closed to us. For Matt and Shiro, one of those doors was their potential for romance, as promising as that potential was. But look."
Slav pointed to where Shiro sat on a bench near the rear bay door.
"Look at what?" hissed Lance. "Nothing's happening--"
"Shhh..."
Lance crossed his arms and grumbled under his breath.
Then, the door opened, and to his surprise, a man stepped out, a cup of coffee in each hand.
He said something to Shiro, something that didn't carry across the hangar, and Shiro looked up questioningly. He looked from the coffee to the man who offered it to him, and with an uncertain hand, he took the coffee.
The man Lance didn't recognize sat beside Shiro, and he picked up conversation.
"Who's that?" asked Lance.
"Does it matter?" asked Slav. "Shiro's smiling."
Lance looked again.
So he was.
"If you'd stepped in to stop Shiro from walking away, he wouldn't be smiling now," said Slav. "You can't change the past, but you can change the future, and there are countless possible futures. There are realities where you died in the Quantum Abyss, or where you couldn't stop the castle from blowing up because Lotor knocked you unconscious when you tried to stop him from taking Carpoidi, or where you tried to pilot the Red Lion despite your injuries and couldn't help Keith follow Shiro's replica through a wormhole. None of those realities end well."
Slav tapped a stubby finger to his temple.
"There are also realities in which you never Wish-Walked at all. In one of those realities, you got everything you thought you wanted. A permanent place on your team, Lotor to be proven wrong and defeated in battle, the girl of your dreams... And in the process, you would never return to the Blue Lion. Lotor's death would result in a much greater foe. And that whirlwind romance you always dreamed of would never feel the way you thought it would, either. There would always be something wrong about it, something unfulfilling you couldn't quite put your finger on. Given enough time, perhaps you would have realized what was wrong, you would have placed your feelings for someone else, and you would have ended that relationship and found happiness elsewhere... But you wouldn't get that chance. Before you could understand what was wrong, that relationship would end in tragedy, and you would spend the rest of your life in mourning, never getting over that girl you romanced for such a short time before her death, never understanding that the reason you were so heartbroken was not that you lost the love of your life, but that you had never been happy in the first place, and your memories of your relationship were twisted by time and grief."
"I don't..." Lance hugged himself around the middle and shivered. "...I don't like that reality."
"Get used to it," said Slav. "It exists. All realities do. Realities where Shiro lives happily ever after with Matt or with that man who brought him coffee or with Princess Allura or with his previous lover who never ended their relationship to begin with. Realities where Altea is brought back, realities where Altea was never destroyed, and realities where new Alteas are created. And in 2.18% of those infinite realities, you and Princess Allura are in a romantic relationship at some point."
Lance might have winced in another life. Only two percent.
"In 2.38% of realities, you wind up with the Green Paladin instead," continued Slav. "In only 1.51% of realities, you engage with the Yellow Paladin. In 6.19% of realities, you are the one who gets his happily ever after with Shiro."
Lance rubbed his arms. "How do you even know all this?"
"Determinism," said Slav. "From seeing you interact with your friends, I can calculate a rough estimate for where your countless lives could have led."
Lance rubbed his shoulder. It was summer. He shouldn't have felt cold. But he did.
"So where do the rest of the realities put me?" he asked. "With the girl who chained me to a tree? With Plaxum? All alone?"
"Some," conceded Slav. "But not most of them. Do you want to know which path is most common for you out of every calculated reality?"
"I don't have a choice, do I?" grumbled Lance. "You're just going to tell me anyway."
"The most common path your life could take romantically--"
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"--is with the Red Paladin, Keith."
Lance's brain short-circuited. The gears groaned to a halt. The lights went out. Every process shut down.
"...What?"
"At 40.56%," elaborated Slav, either oblivious to or just flat out ignoring the crisis he'd just sent Lance spiraling into. "It may not seem like much--still less than 50%--but consider that every single person you've interacted with in your entire life, every person you've glanced at through the corner of your eye in a crowded place, has had a chance to stake their claim as your romantic partner, and there is a sizeable number of realities where you never fall in love at all, or you die in your infancy, never to truly have a story to tell. But out of all those realities, you and Keith have managed to climb all the way up past 40%. In fact, out of all the people you've met in your life, no other romantic connection comes anywhere close. Not even past ten percent. Few past five."
Lance laughed faintly. "Oh, come on. We're not--soulmates or anything. We're not exactly fairytale. I bet Hunk and Shay--"
"Only 3.4%."
"Okay, fine. Matt and Shiro--"
"2.5%."
"I-- Allura and Lotor?"
"1.7%."
Lance dragged his hands through his hair. "Okay, you're fucking with me. You have to be. There is no way in the entire fucking universe--ANY universe--that Keith and I are at almost fifty percent when every power couple of the century I know is less than five. No. No way. Not possible."
"Ignore it if you want," said Slav. "Being stubborn won't change facts."
"I've spent a pretty big chunk of my life making Keith's a living hell," said Lance. "I've called him names, disregarded his feelings-- I accused him of using Shiro's disappearance to steal his place as the leader when he didn't even want to be the leader in the first place! I'm awful!"
"You also put your faith in him more than anyone," said Slav. "You were there for him as a friend when Shiro disappeared, and you were ready to support him when he took the helm as your leader, to shoulder the weight and the blame."
"That--is so creepy! How do you know everything?! Stop that!"
"You've already been in more than one reality where he's been in love with you," said Slav. "You've seen the possibility with your own eyes."
"Yeah, when I was Wish-Walking," snapped Lance. "Emphasis on the Wish."
"Covews can't change reality any more than the rest of us! The possibility was always there!"
"So what if there's a possibility?" asked Lance. "Even if there are 40-something realities out of every one-hundred where Keith miraculously falls in love with me, I still have better odds if I flip a coin! Who says this reality is one where that's going to happen? What if I go up to him right now and I tell him everything I've ever felt and he looks at me like I'm something he stepped in?! How do I know that won't happen?!"
"You don't," said Slav. "You can only try and see what happens."
"But you know!" Lance gestured sharply at Slav's face. "You know everything! You know exactly what I could say to mess everything up, don't you?!"
Slav puffed his chest up.
"Do you want to end up like me?!"
He grabbed the lapels of Lance's jacket and pulled him down to eye-level.
"LOOK AT ME! Do I seem like the kind of person you want to be?! Do you want to hop on each foot three times every morning to avoid losing your tail in an airlock accident and base your tactical decisions on what you ate for breakfast?!"
Lance blanched. "I--"
"I was held captive in a Galra facility for decaphoebs!" screeched Slav. "I was tortured each quintant and spent every moment of my waking life trying to understand what led me to that moment in my reality! I had nothing else to think about! There was nothing else my brain would let me think about! You don't have an excuse!"
Lance's mouth fell open. He never gave any thought to why Slav might have acted like Slav. He supposed he just assumed Slav had always been like that.
Slav dropped Lance and dusted off his hands in a very methodical way, like he was counting each time his palms met. "If you go the rest of your life without telling someone you love how you feel about them, you will never be happy with that person. Your chances are zero. You don't need me to tell you that. But if you take a chance, if you tell them, there is always a chance that they will feel the same way. You can either wind up like Shiro and Matt in this reality, or like Shiro and Matt in the reality you came from. It all boils down to seizing opportunities. Like I said, you cannot change the past. You can only change the future. And I've already told you that your chances of finding happiness with Keith are greater than any other path your life could go." Slav narrowed his eyes. "The only question now is whether you believe you deserve the probability of your own happiness."
Slav turned away and slinked out of the hangars, toward where Coran and Sam argued over a tablet in the setting sun, leaving Lance with nothing but his thoughts.
Leaving Lance with just one decision.
A gentle knocking grabbed Keith's attention, distracting him from the stack of boxes he was organizing.
"Hey, Lance."
"Uh..." The door creaked open. "How'd you know it was me?"
"Because you and Shiro are the only people who'd bother to come out here and Shiro's apparently on a date."
"...Oh. Uh, cool."
Keith looked over his shoulder. The first thing he noticed was the brown paper bag in Lance's hand, but the second thing he noticed put that first thing quickly out of his mind. "...Why are you dressed like that?"
Lance looked down at himself, at his blue button-down shirt and his black slacks. "...Does it look bad?"
"...No?" Keith raised an eyebrow. "You look...really nice. That's why I'm asking."
"Oh, well..." Lance averted his eyes. "I just figured, since I have access to my closet again, I might as well wear something different."
"So...you chose that."
Lance shrugged.
It was difficult to tell in the low sunlight, but...was his face turning red? From that one little comment? Surely not. It was probably just the light through the window.
"I, um... I brought you a cheeseburger."
Keith eyed the paper bag in Lance's hand. "Oh. Uh... Thank you. I haven't eaten since this morning."
"Yeah, I didn't think so."
Lance set the bag silently on the makeshift coffee table in the center of the room. "It's kind of nostalgic, being in here now. I mean, this was the last place I saw before Voltron."
"Well, I wasn't expecting a bunch of strangers to be in my house."
Lance walked around Keith's coffee table, toward the corkboard he had on the wall, and ran his fingers down a cave drawing of his own Lion.
"Man, it feels weird looking at this now," said Lance. "I mean, it was weird the first time, but, you know. Different reason."
"Yeah." Keith returned to his boxes and pulled a stack of books off his shelf. "It's like looking at a message sent to a different version of yourself."
"Mm. So what are you doing, exactly? With the boxes?"
"Oh." Keith closed the top box, tucking one flap between the others. "I'm just... I thought I might as well bring my stuff to the castle, since... I mean, it's my home now, right? I might as well."
"Yeah. Good call. I should do that. ...Do you want some help?"
"Carrying boxes? Yeah, I could. Thanks."
"No problem."
Awkward.
It was awkward.
That wasn't just Keith, was it? It was legitimately awkward. But why?
"So, how long do you think we're going to be here?" asked Lance. "On Earth? Before we start focusing on humanitarian stuff?"
"I don't know." Keith loaded a box into his arms and pulled it away from the stack. "Allura will probably tell us."
"Right."
Lance cleared his throat. He tapped his shoe on the floor. The awkwardness doubled.
No... Awkwardness wasn't really the right word. Apprehension. Potential energy. The detonation before the explosion. A deep breath before a dive.
Keith looked into the back of Lance's head, as if that would tell him what Lance was thinking. He wanted to know what Lance was thinking. Why he showed up at Keith's house at sunset with a cheeseburger, knowing somehow that Keith would be hungry. Why he hadn't brought Ralivela when they were attached at the hip. Why he was dressed up like he had a job interview. Why he seemed so...nervous?
Was that it? That awkwardness? Was Lance nervous?
Why?
"I've been, uh..." Lance shoved his hands in his pockets. "T-Thinking. I've been thinking."
"About what?" asked Keith.
"A lot," said Lance. "Well-- A lot of-- Like, one thing, but a lot about it. Um..."
"Are you okay?"
"No-- I mean, yes--" Lance huffed a sigh. "I'm fine, I just-- I'm trying to--"
He kicked the base of the wall he was facing. The breath he breathed in shook so much Keith almost wondered if there was something wrong with his lungs.
"I've... I've been thinking about you," said Lance. "You and...m-me, and... I w... I was... I just thought..."
He was shaking. A lot. Keith eyed the trembling of his shoulders, increasingly worried. Something big was happening, he just couldn't figure out what.
"B-Before we leave Earth," said Lance, "I was just... I was wondering if you and me c-c-could..."
"Could...?"
Lance turned around and met Keith's eyes. There was no denying how red he was anymore. He looked mortified, that kind of stomach-churning embarrassment that rips through you like horror. He...
He was crying.
"We could...go...on a date," said Lance, barely speaking, barely audible, like his throat was tightening around the words in a desperate attempt to wrangle them back into his body, but it was too late. The words were out in the open, leaving Keith to take them in.
Which...Keith was struggling to do.
He glanced over his shoulder, half-expecting a pretty girl to be behind him. Allura, maybe. But...no. There was no one behind Keith. Lance had been asking him.
Lance had asked him--
"You... You want...to..."
"Watch it!" Lance dashed forward, face still cherry red, tears still in his eyes, to catch the heavy box of books sliding out of Keith's hands. A box Keith was still at least trying to hold onto.
Keith found himself inches from Lance's face, still trying to understand what was going on.
Lance swallowed hard, audibly. "You don't have to. It... It was stupid. I shouldn't have asked. I just... Slav convinced me it was worth a shot and-- I mean, what am I doing? Listening to Slav of all people. I'm sorry. You can forget I asked."
"I..." Keith's heart was doing a million different things, pulling in different directions. Scared and confused and, somewhere underneath it all, what little of it understood what was going on was trying its hardest to explode in bliss.
"I thought you were..."
"Straight." Again, Lance swallowed. "Yeah, well... Surprise? Like I said, just forget I said anything and we can pretend none of this happened--"
"No!"
Lance recoiled, startled.
Keith dug his fingers into the bottom of his box. "Are you insane? I don't want to forget this! I want to say yes!"
"Wh-- You want--?"
"Yes," repeated Keith. "Hell yes. I-- Why wouldn't I want to go out with you?!"
"Because you don't like me?" offered Lance, bizarrely offended. "Because you've never liked me?"
"Uh--" Keith laughed bitterly. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes!"
"Well, I'm not!"
"You-- What?"
"I like you! What do I have to do, prove it?!"
"Yeah! That'd be nice!"
"Okay, fine!"
Keith yanked his books out of Lance's hands, dropped them with an unceremonious thud on the end of his coffee table, and yanked Lance into a kiss.
And slowly, slowly, slowly...Keith felt Lance begin to relax.
Years had passed since the day Lance left Keith's reality.
It hadn't been easy. Keith spent months watching Hunk turn a bottle of salt between his hands, a distant look in his eye. Watching Allura stare into the ring on her finger a little too long. Watching Pidge fall asleep in front of their laptop, which proudly displayed ancient journals about ancient cross-reality projects that were never fruitful. Watching Coran try to play video games he couldn't read. And Keith knew Shiro and Matt spent a lot of time watching him.
But life moved on. It had to. Zarkon had a son, there were people out there who needed Voltron's help, and there was no time to break down.
However, after a long, grueling battle on Earth, a battle only won when one of the attacking mechs changed sides and protected them instead--a mech belonging to a girl named Romelle, who had only joined Honerva with the intent of betraying her--things finally seemed to slow down. Voltron switched purposes from a defender of the universe to...a rebuilder. Earth was barely more than a pile of rubble, and it was personal to the Paladins of Voltron, so that was where they stayed, where they would stay until their home was properly livable again.
"Keith, could you come here a second?"
Keith snapped out of his reverie and looked across the rubble to where his mother stood.
Krolia... Someone he'd only managed to track down between Zarkon and Lotor thanks to Thace.
Well... Thace and Lance.
"What's up?" asked Keith.
Krolia handed him a folded-up sheet of paper. Hard to believe they'd gone back to paper, especially with the world's environment worse than it had ever been. But they were desperate.
"There's a warehouse at what used to be the intersection of Fairview and Jordan. Do you know where that is?"
"Yeah. I remember."
"Inside is a welder," said Krolia. "Deliver this to him. It's a list of instructions for ongoing projects."
"Got it."
The ride was swift, only a quick twenty minutes on Keith's old bike, even with the rubble to weave around. Everyone was doing their best to clear the roads, at least in denser areas. Still, Keith barely had room to park his bike outside this mysterious welder's warehouse before stepping inside.
It was dimly lit. There were no windows, really. Just a few slits in the wall where wires had been fed to the solar panels outside, and only two light bulbs hung overhead. Most of the light came from the welder himself, a silhouette blocking off a section of a small sun.
Keith approached the welder cautiously, more worried about distracting a man with a dangerous tool in his hand than about anything that might happen to him.
"Excuse me!" he called, struggling to be heard over the man's work. "I'm supposed to deliver something to a welder. I'm guessing that's you."
The welder lifted his head and shut off his stick welder before turning around.
And when he did, he was quick to slide off his gloves and leathers--borderline frantic--before pulling off his welder's helmet.
Keith's heart stopped.
"Hey," purred the welder, deepening his voice past how low it was supposed to be, which Keith knew well because he knew how that voice normally sounded. "The name's Isamu. Friends call me Moody."
"...Moody," repeated Keith, deadpan in disbelief, because that was not the name Keith generally associated with that face.
"Yeah, Moody," said Isamu, his voice closer to where it was supposed to sound. "You know, Isa-mu. Moody."
Keith looked "Moody" up and down. He didn't even look "Moody". More like "Flirty".
Underneath the leathers he'd thrown off, there was a blue turtleneck, a pair of fingerless gloves, and an olive green jacket that was hauntingly familiar.
"Moody" cleared his throat, and his previous low register returned. "So I guess that scrap of paper you're holding is for--" Isamu leaned against whatever he'd been working on when Keith arrived--a bedframe, maybe?--and it quickly tipped over behind him and clattered noisily on the concrete floor. "Uh. Me. Aaaand...this is the part where I'd normally ask you if you want to trade it for my phone number, but now you're...crying. Am I coming on too strong? I'm sorry, I was just--"
"No. No. Just..." Keith took a trembling breath he tried to pretend wasn't a sob. "You remind me of someone."
He shoved the paper Krolia had given him at Isamu's chest. "Here."
"Oh. Um. Thanks?" stammered Isamu, but Keith barely heard him on his way to the door.
Once outside in the summer heat, Keith pressed his back to the wall of the warehouse and tried desperately to catch his breath.
"Shit." He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Shit..."
That wasn't Lance. Keith knew that. He understood that. But Isamu was clearly the "Lance" of his reality. And meeting him... Keith didn't know how he was supposed to feel.
But he knew how he felt. And he was lonely.
"Excuse me..."
Keith threw his hands down and quickly wiped the tears from his face with the back of his arm before turning to look for the source of the voice.
He expected a human, some Earthling looking for help from a Paladin.
"Human" was not what he got. What he got was a tall waif of a woman with four-fingered hands and, periwinkle skin, and a mantis-like face.
"I've been looking for you."
Keith instinctively reached for his knife.
The woman held up a hand. "No, I'm not here to fight. I'm just doing a simple errand in return for a simple payment, and I would very much like to get back to the 'ice cream' I've been offered, so if you could..."
She held out a familiar phone, Garrison orange, like the one Keith often saw Hunk crying at while he looked through pictures.
Frowning, his crisis from only a moment before all but forgotten, Keith snatched the phone and looked at the screen.
At first, he thought he was looking at a photo of a familiar couch--his own from the shed where he kept his notes, but moved to somewhere inside the Castle of Lions.
Then he saw the play button.
He pressed it.
Two familiar faces appeared from out of frame.
The first he'd seen only a moment prior, inside the warehouse at his back.
The second was his own.
"Hey, Keith!" greeted the Lance on the screen. "Been a while!"
Keith bit his tongue to keep fresh tears from forming.
"I realize this is probably pretty weird," said Lance. "But the second I learned there was a Covewish refugee in the area, I knew I had to try to send you something."
"With her consent," added the Keith beside him.
"Yeah, yeah, with her consent, obviously," said Lance, waving off that Keith's comment. "Goes without saying. But anyway, hey! I just thought I'd give you an update on what's been going on in my old reality.
"So here's a summary of the last three years.
"After I got home, there was about a month where I moped and cried and refused to tell anyone what I was dealing with. As I'm sure you remember, I was going through some serious emotional garbage back then."
"He cried like a baby when he asked me out because he thought I was going to say no."
"Hey! ...Okay, yeah, that's true. But yeah! Surprise, Alternate-Universe Keith! You were right! I was being ridiculous and Keith really did like me.
"Of course, it's not like I magically started loving myself overnight just because Keith kissed me. The power of love just ain't that powerful. It took a lot of hard work, both on my part and on everyone else's. But I'm feeling better now.
"Back to Shiro, after I got back and made the big reveal, it turns out the non-real Shiro--now Ryou Shirogane--was as much of a victim as the rest of us. So we kind of put Shiro's soul in his body and, through the efforts of our favorite alchemist and all our very special engineers, we were able to get Ryou a cool robot body and he's a teacher at the Garrison now. And he found a boyfriend! You'll never guess who! It's... It's Shiro's ex. Adam. Yeah, it's weird. We're all still getting used to it. I guess Ryou's just different enough from Shiro that they're kind of perfect for each other.
"Issue number 2: I have no idea what went down with Lotor in your reality, but in this one, he just sort of...vanished? Like, he popped in right after I showed up, implied there was something dangerous trying to hunt down this little girl, took her, and...that was the last we ever saw of him. We never even found out what he was supposed to be running from. Anyway, since then, the Galra Empire hasn't really been a threat. There are little groups of pirates here and there to take care of, but aside from Sendak showing up on Earth and trying to take over, the Galra just haven't been a real threat. Even with Sendak, he kind of decided to attack Earth while we were there. So. Dumb. Right in the middle of our first date! He was just a real piece of work. Keith and I took him out in, like, five minutes 'cause he ticked us off. I mean, the others helped, but it was totally mostly us.
"What else...? Oh! I think you'll be proud to know that I'm officially out to everyone I know now. I'm bisexual! My mom knows, my dad knows, all my brothers and sisters know, and, most importantly, everyone on the team knows. And they all support me. They love me for who I am, and honestly, knowing that, without a doubt, is the best feeling in the world.
"The team's all still together, by the way. Allura stepped-- Well, I was going to say she 'stepped down' from Blue Paladin, but honestly, it's a step back up. She's taken the role of our commander again, and honestly, she just seems happier there. Keith's in Red, of course. Shiro's kicking butt with his new Olkari arm--which, uh, he's recently discovered he can switch out for his Bayard? Like the Black Bayard becomes his whole arm, it's super cool--and he's more than happy as our leader in the Black Lion. And me, well... Blue and I are tight as ever.
"Speaking of Shiro... I hope he and Matt are still happy in your reality. In this reality, he's with this guy named Curtis. He's kind of quiet, but he's nice, and he makes Shiro happy, and that's all that matters. Actually, he's getting married this Friday. Keith's his best man, naturally. He threw up in a potted bush last night from nerves alone."
"Uh, pretty sure that was you who threw up," said Keith.
"Don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, really? Because I distinctly remember Luis trying to drag you off before mall security found you."
"Hup-bup-bup! This is my story. And as long as we're talking about weddings, I don't think I'm ready to take criticism from you until someone decides to get off his lazy butt and propose already. Like, seriously? Shiro and Curtis met years after we did. There's no excuse for this."
"You could always propose if it bothers you so much."
"Um, hello? I was the one who asked you out? When I had really low self-esteem and thought you were definitely going to say no? You can't expect me to carry the whole relationship, man."
"Uh-huh."
The Keith on-screen rolled his eyes, but the Keith watching saw his hand wander idly to the pouch on his belt, as if he was thinking about something inside.
"Ugh, now I've lost my place," grumbled Lance. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter. None of this is the point of this message. The point is just to tell you, the Keith out there that I once loved, that...I'm happy."
Lance smiled a crooked, sheepish smile.
"I'm happy, and I've moved on, and...you deserve to be happy, too. So if you've met some guy out there that makes you swoon every time you talk to him and you haven't started dating him because of some dumb misplaced loyalty to me, or you have started dating but you feel guilty about it, or... Or if you just haven't let yourself even think about it... This is your get out of jail free card. This is me giving you my blessing. Go be happy. No matter what that means for you right now. Even if it's not a guy. Even if it's just watching a sunset every now and then. Just don't let yourself become the way I used to be. Be the happiest Keith out there."
Lance grabbed the hand beside his and held their joined hands out to the camera, much to that Keith's annoyed amusement. "You've got a hell of a lot of competition."
He grinned, and a flash of light appeared off-screen. His eyes followed it.
"Rallie... Rallie, no--!"
A white...dog, presumably? Jumped into frame and onto Keith and Lance with its full weight, earning a pair of screams layered with pained laughter.
The phone tilted forward, landing face-down, and the video ended.
As well as Keith thought he'd been taking Lance's disappearance over the past few years, he realized...seeing Lance happy, happier than he'd ever seen Lance while they knew each other, lifted a twenty-stone weight off his chest.
"...Hey, uh, Ma'am?"
The lady who had handed Keith the phone looked up from the fingernails she'd been expecting and blinked her long lashes. "Yes?"
Keith pointed to the phone. "Do you mind if I record a response? It should only take a minute."
"Go right ahead," said the woman. "He expects it."
"Great."
Keith stepped away from the wall.
Half-jogging, he rushed back through the door to the warehouse, opening the camera app as he walked.
"Hey, Moody!"
Isamu looked up from the note Keith had delivered him. "Hey, you okay now?"
"Yeah," said Keith. "I'm fine. Just, could you come here for a second?"
Warily, Isamu stepped forward, and Keith, in a rare moment of boldness, threw his arm around his shoulders.
"Are... Are we taking a selfie?"
"Something like that," said Keith.
"Oh, man, I haven't taken a selfie since before the Galra attacked!" Isamu brightened quickly, then the smile faded. "Wait... Are you recording?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I wanted to catch your answer to a question."
"Okay... What question?"
Keith turned his head and looked Isamu in the eye.
"Are you free tonight?"