Chapter Text
“Truly?”
Jaime Lannister squirmed at the disbelief in his dwarf brother’s face. Pinched features distorted and looking more grotesque with the frown, Tyrion turned to have a swig of wine from his golden goblet. Jaime listened to him stop before deciding to down the whole thing in a single gulp. Tyrion threw his head back, shook it, blinking rapidly then focused his mismatched eyes on him.
He put the goblet down and stacked his short arms on the table. “Tell me again in exact detail, brother.”
Jaime narrowed his eyes at him. “Why? I just told you.”
“No, no. I have to know exactly what happened. You came to me for help, brother.” He spread his hands. “I can’t be of service to you and your giant of a wife if I don’t know everything.”
“Forget it,” the chair scraped hard on the marble floor as Jaime pushed it back sharply to stand up. “I can face being ridiculed by you but I’m not going to have a hand in it with Brienne.”
“Well, you do have one hand remaining—”
“Tyrion.”
“When have I insulted or dishonored your wife in any way?” Tyrion pointed out, looking hurt. “So, she is. . .quite the unexpected choice—”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“Must I really say our poisoned sister’s name, brother?”
Jaime grimaced. He did not regret loving Cersei. Though it had been two years since her death, he still felt her. There would always be love, but now touched with pity. His heart was now another’s, a woman worth more than all the gold and sapphires in the world. With a beauty inside her that Cersei could never come close to rivaling.
“If you’re thinking that I’m having trouble giving Brienne the satisfaction she deserves because of Cersei, “ he emphasized, refusing to be strangled by the power of her memory, “you’re greatly mistaken. It took a while to stop loving her, true, but I never wanted her again after leaving King’s Landing.”
“As long as it’s clear with you and Brienne.”
Jaime sat down slowly, looking puzzled. “Do you think it’s possible? She thinks I desire Cersei still?”
“Have you told her anything similar to what you’ve just revealed?”
“I took a sword in the gut when the Night King went after her. I married her. I lie with her every night, live between her legs until the sun rises. I tell her there is no woman more honorable in the entire Westeros. How. . .why would she think that, if she does? Do you think that’s why she can’t. . .she can’t. . .” he flushed and cleared his throat. “Is that why she doesn’t seem satisfied in our bed? I think she finds pleasure but I worry she’s not very satisfied.”
“It may be a factor,” Tyrion mused. “Women are different from men, Jaime.”
“I know that.”
“No, you don’t understand. With us we can forget the rest of the world once within three feet of firm tits and a round ass. Women are not like that. Now, I know for a fact that you please your wife—”
“How the fuck do you know that?”
Tyrion looked at him in exasperation. “You must have gone deaf already, brother. Granted Evenfall Hall is small compared to the Red Keep but the bricks shudder from her squeals every night.” He winked. “I counted last night. You fucked her five times, didn’t you?” He grinned. “This is certainly not a boring visit. I’ll make sure to press for more visits as Hand of the King.”
“Never repeat that to Brienne or she’ll throw you to the sea. Seven hells,” Jaime said faintly, looking stunned. Brienne was a screamer, but he didn’t know the entire castle could hear her.
She was always willing. She still insisted wearing that damned shift to bed every night. Battling the undead was easier than removing the fucking garment off her.
He liked it, though. The reward was his wife’s beautiful, strong, scarred body.
Also, part of the pleasure of fucking her was she was still shy, moonlight skin exploding in a palette of gorgeous pinks and reds when in bed with him. Though hesitant, her lips never resisted his kisses. Her legs never shut him out.
And her cunt.
Jaime had only fucked his sister besides Brienne. Cersei’s cunt had never been as wet as Brienne’s. Not even close. She was tight during their first time together in Eel Alley.
When he fucked Brienne the first time, her tightness came close to unmanning him. Then her cries. Lusty, throaty sounds of pleasure. He was a man with little to offer any woman. Fucking his wife well was one of the few things he still had.
He knew Brienne enjoyed taking his cock inside her, but he felt something was missing. He knew he could do so much more for her in this area. Unfortunately, his expertise didn’t go beyond hurried, quiet rutting. It was really a novelty hearing his wife shout her pleasure to the sky—or at least, threaten to have the carved ceilings of their private chambers crashing on them.
“Women love stamina in a man,” Tyrion continued. “Why won’t they? But more often than not, it’s the quality of the fuck and not the quantity that matters to them.”
“The quality of the fuck?”
Tyrion looked confused. “You are aware of the Seven Points of Conquest, aren’t you?”
“Seven? Conquest? Is that a book?”
“By the Seven,” Tyrion breathed in pure shock. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Why the fuck do you think I’m here?” Jaime demanded impatiently. He poured himself a drink and downed in quickly. He coughed. No matter how fine the wine, it still burned the throat and chest when swallowed as peasants did.
“Follow me. Let me put it for you in terms you’ll understand.” Tyrion said, climbing down from his seat and heading for the door. When he realized Jaime wasn’t following him, he turned around impatiently.
“May I remind you that everyone can hear your wife when you fuck her? Despite err. . .her looks, her screams will make any man forget and want to have a turn at her.”
Jaime shot him a warning look. “Never refer to Brienne so crudely again. And while she will never turn heads, mine will always be turned to hers.”
“How about between her legs?”
“I’m not an idiot.” Jaime growled.
“But do you know what you’re doing when you’re there?”
At Jaime’s confused look, Tyrion sighed and opened the door.
*****
In the library of Evenfall Hall was a long, wide table on which a map of Westeros was spread. Markers in the shapes of house sigils were placed strategically. A dragon’s head marker was on King’s Landing, a wolf on Winterfell, lion on Tarth and Lannisport and so on. Tyrion removed them all and looked at Jaime.
“You have to be honest with the details, Jaime. Tell me how you start seducing your wife, what you do when you succeed, how you sustain it and how you bring her to the finish line.”
Jaime looked dubious. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that.”
“Then what are we here for? If you’re sure Brienne will never fuck another man because you keep her happy in bed, why are we here?”
“I just. . .” Jaime sighed loudly. “Look, I can’t explain it very well. I know she likes what I do to her. Trust me. I know the difference between being pleasured and. . .tolerated. There’s more I can do for her. I know it. You say women are different from men and yes, I agree. But every woman is different too.”
“And. . .?”
“But what Cersei liked is not what Brienne does, I think.”
“What do you mean?”
Jaime slumped heavily on a chair, pinching the bridge of his elegant nose. “I was able to fuck Cersei without the fear of being executed only a few times, alright? Most of the time, we had to be. . .fast. So with Brienne. . .it’s usually like that. Fast.”
He wasn’t going to breathe a single word to Tyrion that a kiss was all it took for Brienne’s pants to get soaked. Not damp. Delightfully soaked. He was lucky she was very responsive.
“Alright. Has she made any complaints?”
“That’s the thing with my wife. She’s so fucking honorable and very much a maiden despite having my cock in her day and night that she won’t tell me what else she wants although I can feel it. I only have to look in her eyes to see that there’s something else she wants but doesn’t know how to say it. Or say it without thinking to hurt me.”
“Have you told her you’re welcome to suggestions?”
“Of course, I have!” Jaime protested.
Tyrion held up a hand. “Calm down. I believe you.”
“If she’s not going to say anything, and me knowing there’s more I can do for her, I think the best way is to pleasure her in ways she doesn’t think is possible. But with my limited knowledge, I don’t know how else to go about it.”
“What about your positions?” Tyrion asked suddenly.
“What?”
Tyrion rolled his eyes. “Does she have a preferred position? Both of you?”
Jaime looked at him then around them. “What I tell you should never leave this room.”
“You have my word.”
But he was stern. “I mean it, Tyrion. I can be humiliated. But not Brienne. I won’t tolerate it.”
Tyrion looked pained. “You really don’t trust me, do you?”
“Let’s just say I’ve seen how men can be cruel to my wife. Men who need a fucking mirror to see they’re more deserving of insults than Brienne. She’s as skittish and shy in the bedroom as she is confident and powerful with a sword. If she’s embarrassed in any way because word of our conversation is whispered about—”
“I swear, Jaime.” Tyrion exclaimed. “I’m not going to dishonor Brienne. Or you. Why would I be cruel to the woman who saved my brother? And me, from certain death?”
“As long as you don’t forget,” Jaime said firmly.
“I never have.” Tyrion said solemnly.
Jaime took a deep breath. He will always trust his brother.
“So. . .regarding positions. . .” Tyrion prompted haltingly.
“Right. Positions. Well, uh, I fuck her from behind. It’s one I’m most familiar with and what she expects. I prefer to have her facing me but most of the time, she won’t look at me. She’s very conscious about the scar on her face.” It made Jaime sad, for Brienne to think he won’t love her for a mark that was one of the many testaments to her courage and bravery. “The only time I’m able to take her with her eyes on me is when she’s half-asleep. It’s. . .also when. . .”
He felt himself turn red.
“When. . .?”
He cleared his throat. “I, ah, wake her up by putting my head between her legs. And kissing her. I told you, she’s most receptive on her back when still half-asleep. I’d rather she was more conscious and actually telling me to put my head there but she’s still very shy.”
It was also a kind of pleasure Jaime did not know much about. Cersei told him it was the fastest to get her to come but she never liked it. It made her feel powerless.
Brienne’s resistance was not because she likened it to weakness. She refused to believe Jaime that men really did such a thing and enjoyed it. He really did, with her. She tasted of sweet, sweet innocence and he loved having her flavor lingering in the back of his mouth all day.
“You’ve been married for. . .what? Four moons.”
“And she’s still very shy,” he repeated. “I’m telling you. She even has a fucking privacy screen in our chambers. I don’t want her wearing any clothes to bed but I always have to fight her for that blasted nightshirt. She also got it in her thick skull that sharing my bed is temporary until I told her that even if she were in another wing in the castle she would still get my cock all night and first thing in the morning. You’d think she’ll understand I intend to keep her naked in our chambers but no. My wife will understand battle strategy in the blink of an eye but fucking?”
Tyrion hid a smile at the frustration in Jaime’s voice.
“Fucking difficult taking that thing off her when she’s got the advantage of two hands and twice the strength,” he grumbled, running a hand through his golden hair. “She gets tame after a few kisses, but I don’t want her tamed. I want her to trust me. I want her to know I want her and love her so much. She gets all red when I tell her these things, like she still doesn’t believe me. What I’ve learned from my wife is she has more faith in action rather than words. Which might explain why she can’t tell me what else she wants in bed. Aside from her shyness and her consideration for my feelings, she’s not the most verbose. Not unless we’re talking about swords or battles or military strategy.”
Seven Hells was a woman who prattled about silly things like sewing and table set-ups. Jaime had limited interests and it was men like himself who shared it. Brienne was the only woman who understood the strengths of different steels and swords. She spoke of the things he could speak with any man who knew how to fight with a sword, true. But it was her voice talking about them that he most enjoyed listening to. It was the way her sapphire eyes gleamed that he loved gazing at.
“I know how to pleasure my wife. I’m not a total dunce,” he said, staring at the more practical hook that had replaced his useless golden hand a long time ago. “But I feel like I’m only doing what she expects. I only know the usual, Tyrion. I want to know more and hope one of the things you’ll tell me is what she wants.”
Now Tyrion smiled. “The truth is, brother, telling you will be useless. I must show you. Hence,” he gestured grandly at the table. “The map.”
“What the fuck does a map have to do with my problem?”
Tyrion stood up on his chair and took the lion markers. “Think of the map of Westeros as Brienne’s body, Jaime,” he said, putting them on seemingly random spots on the map. “When you’re going to attack a place, you have a strategy right? You assess its strengths, possible points of penetration, its weaknesses. . .”
“Brienne is not weak. And I’m not going to attack her.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Tyrion said with exaggerated patience. He finished arranging the markers and nodded in approval. “Alright, dear brother. Pretending that this is Brienne’s glorious body, allow me to instruct you on the Seven Points of Conquest.”
Jaime crossed his arms and looked at the map. “Go on.”
“You may be short of a hand but you still have one. Just like what our Andal ancestors did in conquering the south of Westeros beginning from the Fingers,” Tyrion began, slowly moving the lion marker down on the map, “the first weapons you must deploy in conquering your wife is with your fingers.”
“I’ve used my fingers, Tyrion.”
“Believe me, you haven’t explored the many ways they can be used,” Tyrion said confidently. He glanced at Jaime’s serious and curious face. “Good. I have your attention.”