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Anne stared at the numbers on the blackboard and willed them to make sense. It wasn’t that she was bad at math, she was better than most of the class, but this was algebra. She always excelled at reading since it was her safe haven in the orphanage. There was nowhere for her to practice math there, though. So, while her uncanny knack for learning helped her catch up and even excel in math, she still wasn’t the best in class at equations. And, even though her and Gilbert had called a truce, she still felt a competition between them. She didn’t just want to be good at math. She wanted to be better than Gilbert Blythe.
Anne’s mind had wandered so far, she hadn’t even realize class was over. The scraping sound of a bench being pushed back snapped her back to reality. She quickly stacked her books on top of her slate and was cinching the belt when someone tapped her on the shoulder.
“Josie Pye said we’re to play spin the bottle after class today.” Ruby giggled as she whispered between Anne and Diana.
“But Miss Stacy-“
“She’s already gone. She said this morning that she was heading to Carmody this weekend so she had to leave straight after class. Josie Pye’s been planning it since lunch.” Ruby straightened up and smoothed her hair. “This is our first game since Gilbert’s gotten back.”
Anne glanced over to the boys’ side of the class. Gilbert was picking up his books while Charlie whispered in his ear. Gilbert looked up at Anne. She hastily looked away and back to Ruby.
“I really would rather not... That game is such a torture.”
Anne picked up her books and saw Ruby smiling and waving at Gilbert. Anne barely suppressed an eye roll.
Diana grabbed Anne’s arm. “Oh, Anne please play!”
“No, no I really shouldn’t. Marilla and Matthew will be expecting me...”
“Anne you never go home straight after school. They would be more surprised to see you than to not. You must stay.”
Everyone was already filing into the foyer. Everyone except Gilbert. He was still standing at his desk, looking through one of his books. Surely, he wouldn’t be playing, Anne thought. But what if he did... then she would be the only one not playing. She supposed that looked worse than playing and being harassed by Billy Andrews. Since Gilbert had come back and been civil, even friendly, to her, some of the boys had warmed up to her. Maybe she could end up being kissed. Though, she cringed at the thought of her first kiss happening in the context of something so unromantic as a game of spin the bottle. If Gilbert plays, then I will play she decided. Though certainly only because she didn’t want to be the only student not playing.
Anne stood uncertainly while Ruby discussed the odds of her landing on Gilbert, Diana listening and glancing up at Anne. Anne listened while looking out of the corner of her eye to see what Gilbert would do. Suddenly he slapped his book shut and strode straight into the foyer. Well, that settles it.
“Okay, fine I’ll play.”
Ruby squealed and Diana looked between Anne and where Gilbert had just walked into the foyer with a smirk. Anne narrowed her eyes at her and Diana thankfully said nothing.
The three girls were the last to enter. Anne ended up between Moody and Gilbert’s friend Charlie. Gilbert was across the circle from her between Josie Pye and Tilly. He looked up at Anne, a smile tilting up on his face. She looked down to the empty milk bottle sitting in the middle of everyone.
Josie Pye nominated Billy to go first and he hurriedly spun the bottle. Anne swallowed the bile rising in her throat as the bottle slowed, but it thankfully didn’t land on her. The game was relatively uneventful. Ruby kissed Charlie, Diana kissed Tim, and Moody kissed Tilly. Then came Anne’s turn. She willed her eyes to not glance up at Gilbert, who she could feel staring at her. He was leaned back on his hands, looking at her through lowered eyelids. She leaned forward, grabbing the bottle. She spun it, refusing to think about who she wanted it to point to. It felt like the bottle spun in slow motion, turning about the room and landing on... Billy Andrews. She sucked a sharp breath in as the room went deathly silent.
“No way!” Billy shouted. “I’m not kissing the dog! She probably has a disease.”
Anne could feel the tears welling behind her eyes, but she refused to cry in front of her classmates because of this stupid game again.
“Billy that’s very untoward.” Diana said defiantly.
“Her face is untoward!” Even as she heard her heartbeat loud in her ears, Anne recognized the absolute lack of creativity in Billy’s comment. “No. Not happening. I don’t even know why she plays, no one wants to kiss the orphan.”
With that, Anne was on her feet, running out of the foyer before the tears started flowing. She heard shouting and a scuffle behind her as she ran out of the schoolhouse, leaving her books behind her. She ran until she couldn’t anymore, already short of breath from crying.
She wished the weather and woods matched her mood. It was spring and everything around her was blooming and calling to her. As she walked through the woods, though, her perception shifted. The flowers in their colorful crowns no longer felt like they were mocking her, but instead offering her a solace. The trees covered in lively branches were not taunting her but reaching for her, wanting to pull her into their embrace. The soft grass was not trying to make her think of Billy’s opposing harshness, but rather give her comfort. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeves.
“Thank you.” She whispered to the woods around her.
“You’re welcome,” Anne heard behind her. She whipped around and found Gilbert Blythe walking towards her. His bottom lip was busted and swollen.
“Gilbert!”
“Thought you might want these.” He lifted her books. “Mind if I walk you home?”
“Oh. Oh, um, of course.” She turned towards Green Gables and they fell in stride together. Silence enveloped them. Anne realized how crazy she must look to him, running out of a schoolhouse in tears and then talking to herself in the woods.
“You can’t let him get to you like that. Billy Andrews doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” He smiled and nudged her arm.
“He’s just so despicable. Not even his insults are creative. It wouldn’t affect me so much if I didn’t feel the whole class thought the same thing. Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, doomed to die alone.”
“Anne you’re not-“
“Wouldn’t it just be so nice if I could prove them all wrong? What if I showed up to school one day with a boyfriend!” She laughed harshly. “Oh, how that would get under Josie Pye’s skin! Me, the ugly orphan being courted before her! And then Billy couldn’t say things like that.” Her imagination ran wild, picturing herself walking in the school house arm in arm with a shining prince. She imagined the look on-
“I could do it.” Gilbert said, looking straight ahead.
Anne stopped. “What?”
He turned to look at her; they were just outside Green Gables now. “I could do it. I could court you.”
“What- We- You- I- You don’t like me like that.” Anne sputtered.
Gilbert smirked at her. “Well we could pretend. I could court you and be your fake boyfriend.”
For one of the few times in her life, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert was speechless.
“It would prove them wrong, like you said. And you’re sixteen now, an appropriate age to be courted.” Gilbert continued, looking amused at her shocked expression.
“I- You can’t be my boyfriend.”
“Don’t give me an answer now.” He handed her her books. “Just... think about it. See you tomorrow!” And without another word, Gilbert Blythe turned and walked back down the path, whistling under his breath.
Well one thing was for sure and certain- Anne wasn’t thinking of Billy anymore.
When Anne walked into the schoolhouse Monday morning, she didn’t so much as glance over in Gilbert’s direction. She could see from the corner of her eye, though, that he was smirking at her. She felt like it was Gilbert’s life mission to torment her in every way possible. How embarrassing it would be to have him pretend to be her boyfriend! Her episode during spin the bottle was already bad enough, but if the class found out what Gilbert had offered… she’d never live it down.
Miss Stacy thankfully came in shortly after Anne sat down and the lessons took over Anne’s mind. Admittedly, though, it was hard to focus when she felt the side of her head burning from Gilbert staring at her.
“I’m sorry about what happened on Friday...” Diana whispered. “But it was nice of Gilbert to bring your books to you.”
“Oh no, you know about that?” Anne started to fret. “That means Ruby knows, too! Is she angry with me?”
“Don’t worry, she seems to have found a new boy to be smitten over.” Diana nodded back towards Ruby. Ruby was smiling across the room. Anne followed her eyes over to Charlie, who was smiling back.
“Oh… well that’s certainly something.” Anne breathed a sigh of relief. Friday was bad enough, the thought of having Ruby angry with her only made matters worse. If Ruby was preoccupied now, though, that meant… No. Anne shook her head to clear the thoughts forming. She looked back down to her reader.
Since the weather was so gorgeous this time of year, the girls took their lunches outside by the small stream running through the schoolyard. They were all animatedly chatting about the trip to Charlottetown Miss Stacy was planning for the end of spring.
“I told Aunt Josephine we were planning a school trip to Charlottetown to get a hands-on experience with electricity and visit one of the museums there and you’ll never believe what she said.” Diana took a dramatic pause as all the girls leaned in. “She said she will throw us a party!”
The girls shrieked, and all began talking at once.
“Oh, a party! With everyone there! It would be the most magical, wonderous experience.” Anne could already picture the food Miss Josephine would provide. She was so excited to think about the opportunity to see her role model and mentor again.
“All of the boys will be dressed up!” Ruby clutched her chest, already weak at the thought.
“And we will get to, too!” Jane grabbed Josie Pye’s arm who, for once, didn’t look like she had just smelled something horrible.
They began planning what dresses they would wear to the party when Anne heard a splash and felt cold water drench her and her lunch. She gasped and looked up at the boys laughing a few feet away from her. Billy Andrews was practically doubled over, howling.
“Hey Fido! I brought you a treat!”
Anne looked down into the stream where a large bone was sitting beside her. She jumped to her feet, her food spilling out of her lap. Billy was still laughing at his subpar joke, though he seemed to be having a hard time with it. He had a black eye and a cut lip.
“Billy Andrews you are by far the most ignorant and incompetent bully I have ever had the displeasure of meeting!”
She stomped off toward the other side of the schoolhouse, where she knew Gilbert usually ate his lunch. As she rounded the corner, she saw he was sitting with a couple of his friends beside a tree stump.
When he looked up and saw her walking towards them, he hurriedly got to his feet. “Anne!”
She stopped when he caught up to her, a few paces away from his friends. “I’m in. I’ll do it. Let’s do it.” Her anger was boiling her and all she wanted was to make Billy Andrews feel stupid. She knew he was jealous of Gilbert and if he courted her then that would surely shut him up.
Gilbert looked at her for a moment then said, “Okay.”
Anne started to turn to leave but Gilbert grabbed her wrist on one hand and the back of her neck in the other and pulled her towards him. Before she could even register what was happening, Gilbert’s lips were on hers and her entire body felt electrified. He pulled away quickly. She took a breath to start to berate him but then remembered if she was to be his “girlfriend”, she shouldn’t yell at him for kissing her. Instead, she turned back to her friends who were standing a few paces away, staring open-mouthed. Billy Andrews and his cronies were beside them, sharing an identical expression. She heard whooping behind him as Gilbert walked back to his friends. Mercifully, the bell rang, and everyone was broken from their reverie. Anne rushed inside the classroom, a blush burning across her cheeks and neck, her lips tingling.
She looked over at Gilbert when he sat down and he winked at her as she rubbed the back of her neck and looked back towards the blackboard. She pushed against the urge to touch her fingers to her lips.
When lessons were over, Anne rushed to grab her books and head to the door, wanting to avoid the onslaught of questions from her friends as soon as Miss Stacy dismissed them. Somehow, Gilbert beat her to the door and he opened it and followed behind her.
They walked in silence as Anne led him through the woods to a hidden clearing she had found after her old clubhouse has been destroyed.
When they made it, Anne whipped around to face Gilbert. “Okay, we need to establish some rules.”
“Some what?” he laughed as he sat down on the ground beside her, where she was already taking out her notebook and the Pen of Opportunity. Now, though, she figured the pen was back to its old title: the Pen of Duplicity.
“Rules. Like a contract. So we are on the same page.”
Gilbert laughed again, leaning back on his hands in that carefree way that infuriated Anne. His eyebrows scrunched together as he looked up into the sky. “We’re together. I think that’s a pretty easy page.”
“No, there has to be rules.” Rules will help me understand all of this, she thought. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as Gilbert sat forward to examine the paper she began scribbling on. “Rule number one: No kissing.”
“What?!” Gilbert scoffed and threw some leaves at her. “Am I that bad at it, Carrots?”
“No! Certainly not!” Anne shut her mouth as soon as she realized what she had just said. She looked up at him and he looked like he was unsuccessfully trying to suppress a laugh. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean that I have never kissed a boy before, so I would like all of my firsts to not be fake.”
Gilbert’s eyes softened at that and he nodded. “Okay, that’s fair. What else?”
“You could walk me home from school?”
“Okay. I… could also write you notes.”
Anne looked up from where she was writing. “What do you mean?”
“Notes. Like letters.” He scratched the back of his neck and looked over at a tree beside Anne. “I see Mary and Bash do it all the time. They leave little notes around the house all the time. I think its so they can say things to each other without making me uncomfortable.”
“Okay, so, love letters- notes.” She wrote that down. She looked up at him. He was back on his hands again, studying the flowers in the tree line. The sun was coming through the trees and outlined his features. His curls poked up at all different angles and Anne found herself thinking about curling one around her finger. She quickly looked back down at the paper. “Alright so no kissing, walking home from school, and notes. Anything else?”
He sat up quickly and took the pen from her. His fingers brushed the inside of her wrist. “I want you to go to Miss Josephine Barry’s party with me.” He wrote JOSEPHINE’S PARTY across the page.
“Wait, how long do you think we’ll be doing this?” She ignored how their knees were touching as he bent forward over the paper in her lap.
“I don’t know. Long enough for Billy Andrews to learn to shut his mouth. We could be in this for the long haul.” He looked up at her, laughter in his eyes. Their faces were inches apart. Anne noticed that his eyelashes were a little blonde at the ends.
“Last rule!” she exclaimed, wanting to look away. She took the pen back and wrote SECRET at the bottom of the page. “No one can know. If anyone finds out the only boyfriend I had was fake, I would never live it down. I would be the laughing stock of Avonlea, Carmody, Charlottetown, the whole of Prince Edward Island!”
Gilbert pantomimed zipping his mouth closed. They both signed their names at the bottom, sealing the deal. Anne folded the contract up and tucked it into her pocket to put in a safe place when she got home.
“Gilbert Blythe,” Anne reached out her hand. “I am ready to be your girlfriend.”
Gilbert took it, a mockingly solemn look across his face. “Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, I am ready to court you.”
They both burst out laughing as they stood, brushing the leaves off of their clothes. Gilbert took her books from her and they started towards Green Gables. They walked in comfortable silence for a while. Gilbert seemed to be one of the few people she walked in quiet with. He had this calming presence for her. It made her take a second to breathe and just relax. She was so glad for his friendship. She saw the gates of Green Gables come into view.
“Gilbert?”
“Hm?”
“What do you get out of it?” She stopped and turned to him just outside the gate.
“What do you mean?” The crease that formed when he was confused appeared between his eyebrows.
“I mean, in this fake courtship. I get people to stop teasing me but what do you get?” She took her books back from him as she pointedly didn’t look him in the eyes. She was scared he would say something resembling pity. She could take insults from Billy and Josie and everyone else, but she couldn’t take Gilbert’s pity.
“I get to spend time with you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert.” Gilbert smiled and did a half bow before he turned and walked away. She rolled her eyes at his non-answer and walked towards the house.
When Anne opened the door to leave for school the next morning, Diana was waiting outside.
“Diana!” Anne exclaimed. Normally, they met at the fork and walked the rest of the way to school.
“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert you owe me an explanation!” Diana said indignantly.
Anne grabbed her arm and rushed away from the house. “Oh, Diana, I’ll explain everything to you just please keep your voice down. The last thing I need is for Marilla to be cross with me.”
Diana and Anne walked side by side through the trees, the broad leaves diffusing the morning light around them. Anne could smell the baked goods Diana had in her basket for lunch. The birds and insects buzzed about, creating a background symphony as Anne explained everything to her. The entire truth. Anne could hardly lie to her best bosom friend. Diana hardly said a word the entire time and was silent still when she finished.
“So… what does he get from it?” Diana asked after a moment.
Anne sighed, exasperated. “See, that’s exactly what I asked! But in his infuriating way, Gilbert only said, ‘I get to spend time with you.’ and walked away. How annoying!” Anne threw her hand up in the air, still annoyed that he wouldn’t give her a straight answer. The question and his avoidance had plagued her all night. What did Gilbert actually want out of all of this?
“I see…” Diana smiled knowingly at Anne.
“Oh, Diana you can’t possibly believe he was serious. He must truly get something from this that I just am not seeing. I could only see this going one of two ways: one, my reputation gets better, or two, his gets worse.”
Diana only hummed in response as they approached the schoolhouse and saw Gilbert waiting outside, leaned against the doorframe, reading his book. His legs were crossed at the ankle and his face was screwed up in concentration at what he was reading.
“Well he certainly is handsome.” Diana whispered.
Anne slapped Diana’s arm and Gilbert looked up at the sound. His eyes lit up and a smile broke out across his face. “Anne!”
The girls walked up the stairs and stood in front of him. “Good morning, Gilbert.”
“Good morning, Anne.”
They stood there, smiling at each other.
“Good morning, Gilbert.” Diana said, smirking between them.
They both blinked, and Anne looked down at her shoes.
“Good morning to you, too, Diana.” Gilbert bowed his head and reached for the door.
Diana went in first and Anne followed behind her. They hung their hats on the hooks and Anne started to walk into the classroom.
“Oh, Anne.” Gilbert reached into his lunch sack and pulled out a beautifully ripe red apple. “I brought this for you. It’s from my orchards.”
“Why, thank you. This must be the most beautiful apple I have ever seen.” Gilbert smiled in the way that he only ever seemed to direct towards her. She started to tuck it into her lunch basket but decided not to. Instead, she walked beside him into the classroom and placed the apple on the corner of her desk as she sat down beside Diana. She smiled over at Gilbert as she heard Tilly and Ruby whisper behind her. She glanced back at Billy Andrews, who was just staring between her and Gilbert, open-mouthed, looking like a toad.
When Miss Stacy dismissed them for lunch, Anne looked up to see Gilbert leaning against her desk.
“Would you like to eat lunch together, Carrots?”
Anne felt everyone staring at them. Everyone was grabbing their lunch, but still looking at them. Boys and girls rarely ate lunch together. It was an unspoken rule. She fought the urge to look around at her classmates.
With as much nonchalance as she could, she plucked the apple from the corner of her desk and said “Sure!”
They walked outside beside each other and even though everything going on was make believe, Anne didn’t think the electricity she felt when their arms brushed was fake. The irony was not lost on Anne. She spent most of her life with her head in the clouds, imagining stories and acting them out. It was only fitting, she believed, that her first boyfriend was another work of fiction.
That sat across from each other underneath a tree, sharing their lunch. Anne liked Gilbert’s sandwich better than her own, since Bash had put some Trinidadian spices in it. He split it in half and traded her for one of Marilla’s gingersnaps.
Anne took a bite from the apple Gilbert had given her this morning. “Gilbert, this is by far the best apple I’ve ever had the pleasure of enjoying.”
Gilbert was leaned against the tree trunk, his head tilted towards her, smiling. “Thank you. My dad was always proud of our apple orchard…” His face fell slightly, and a silence enveloped him.
“Do you miss him often?” Anne asked. She knew what it was like to not have parents, but she didn’t know what it was like to lose one. Her parents had died when she was so young, she didn’t even remember them.
Gilbert swallowed, and his eyes went to a faraway place. “Yeah, I do. It never really gets easier. They say that time heals all, but I haven’t found that to be the case, exactly. Some days are good, but other days I feel like I just lost him yesterday. It’s especially hard around harvest time, seeing all of the ripe fruits and blossoms throughout the farm. He loved standing among all the colors. He used to get me to read to him in the middle of the orchard. I asked him once why he loved the orchard so much when he had seen places like the Rocky Mountains but all he said was ‘There’s beauty everywhere. Even right in front of us.’”
He looked back at Anne with the last sentence and she felt his gaze too intense to return. “That sounds beautiful, Gilbert.” They continued to eat in comfortable silence for a bit.
“So, I was thinking…” Gilbert said, wiping his hands off on his pants.
“What a shock!” Anne teased him, tucking her napkin back into her lunch basket.
“Very funny. Since we can’t touch or anything,” Anne felt a blush creep up her neck at the thought, “we still have to do something to signify that we… belong to each other. And now, before you even say it, of course you don’t belong to me, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, you belong to yourself only, I just mean a way to show off our… intentions.”
Anne’s mouth snapped shut. Intentions? Of course he meant their fake intentions, but that word only made her think of her real intentions. What did she want? To avoid thinking about it, she grabbed one of her braids and loosed a ribbon.
“Here, tie this around your wrist.”
Gilbert lifted his arm in front of her. She took the ribbon around his wrist and tied it in a bow. She ignored how warm his skin was.
“There.” The sky blue ribbon contrasted against his skin, tanned from working around the farm. It was wrapped tightly around his wrist, the bow tiny, since the ribbon was so short. She probably she looked lopsided now, with only one ribbon in her hair, but she didn’t care. The ribbon looked better on Gilbert’s wrist than it ever would in her hair. “You don’t think it looks too feminine?” Anne said, eyeing the frilly lace.
“That’s the point.” Gilbert winked at her, getting to his feet as the lunch bell tolled. He held his hand out for her
“I suppose so.” She took his hand and stood, gathering her things. As she bent over to pick up her basket, she noticed his hand flex after she let it go. She pushed it to the back of her mind and continued on inside.
The next day started in a similar fashion. Gilbert was waiting for her outside of the schoolhouse, apple in hand, ribbon on wrist. Diana eyed the ribbon, smiling, as he reached to open the door for them. Anne and Diana were a bit later than usual, so the classroom was practically full when they came in. The noise of the classroom was typical, the girls and boys on their separate sides, talking loudly over one another. As Anne and Gilbert walked into the classroom, he grabbed her hand and lifted it, spinning her around. She laughed, surprised at his sudden smoothness.
“Where did you learn to act like this?” she said low enough for only him to hear.
“Just stuff I see Bash and Mary do.” When he turned her completely around, he handed her a note and leaned down to whisper “Good job.” In her ear.
It was a queer feeling, being congratulated on the ability to receive a note. She tucked the note into one of her books and went to her desk, where the girls were gathered.
“Well you and Gilbert Blythe certainly seem smitten.” Josie Pye practically spit at Anne, her arms crossed.
“I-“
“You certainly have no regard for the feelings of others. Imagine how Ruby must feel!” Josie looked over at Ruby, who was hardly paying attention to the conversation. She was twirling her hair around her finger, waving to Charlie across the room.
“What? Oh, Anne and Gilbert? No, I don’t mind. I find Charlie much more handsome now.” Ruby nodded emphatically.
Josie Pye scoffed and stormed back to her seat.
“I find the new courtship oh so delicious.” Tilly sighed.
“We are very happy for you, Anne.” Diana squeezed her arm, breaking Anne into a smile.
“I think Josie is just jealous she wasn’t the first of us to be officially courted.” Jane rolled her eyes, whispering to the girls.
“Yes, well, I am just as surprised as she is.” Anne smoothed her dress down.
“Oh Anne, you’re so lucky. Gilbert is so handsome. Look at his hair! Oh, his hair…” Tilly sighed again, looking over at Gilbert.
He was joking with his friends, and he tilted his head back to laugh at something Charlie said. His eyes crinkled and his smile lit up his face. “Yes, he is, isn’t he?”
There were some days Gilbert’s presence did not dull Anne’s urge to talk.
“I just find the concept of energy so diverting. To think everything, everywhere, has energy. Everything has the capacity to do something. Even something like a rock, that seems so stationary, is just full of tiny little atoms, buzzing about, creating energy? Don’t you just find that so intriguing.”
“Well rocks have more than just the energy in its atoms, it also has the energy given to it by gravity.” Gilbert said, holding a tree branch back for Anne.
“Well, yes of course, I knew that.” Anne bristled a bit, then made herself relax. Gilbert was only adding to the conversation. Old habits die hard. “It’s just poetic that at any given moment, we all have the energy, the ability to just do something. Anything we wanted.”
“Well, not anything…” Gilbert said.
“No, not anything. Like, sometimes I may want to murder people, and, in theory, I have the energy and ability to do so, but society dictates that I can’t. But still, the energy is there.”
Gilbert chuckled and too soon Green Gables came into view. It had been a good day. Billy Andrews hadn’t said one thing to her, and Josie Pye was even mildly friendly. Anne smiled and turned to Gilbert.
“Thank you for returning me to my castle, my prince!” She curtsied low and took her books from him. He always insisted on carrying them.
“Any time, princess.” He bowed mockingly, and reached into his pocket to hand her another note. It was addressed Anne with a heart. She wasn’t sure why he was giving her a note here, privately. Normally they dropped the façade when they got out of the schoolyard. Although, now that she thought about it, nothing really changed when they got out of sight of that white building. They still acted like… whatever they were. He still wore the ribbon and she still smiled at him. She took the note anyway and waved as she started toward the house.
Marilla was in the kitchen when she came in.
“Was that Gilbert Blythe I saw?” she called.
Anne hung her hat and tucked the note in her pocket. “Yes, he was just walking me home.”
“He seems to be doing that a lot lately.” Anne could hear the smile in her voice. “You should have him over for dinner tomorrow.”
“Oh no Marilla I don’t think-“
“Nonsense.” Marilla said, dusting her hands off on her apron. “If a boy is going to walk you home from school every day, he ought to be able to join us for dinner one night.”
Anne couldn’t argue with that logic. What excuse could she offer to dissuade Marilla from having her invite him? And why didn’t she want to invite him? They were good friends. The courting was something Marilla didn’t know about, of course. When Anne came home that day without a ribbon, Anne had just made an excuse about it probably being caught on a branch in the woods. Marilla, knowing Anne’s inclination for climbing and running, thought nothing of it. Anne just didn’t want to include her family in this ruse. It felt easier to omit the truth- that her relationship with Gilbert was a lie- than to lie directly to their faces.
After dinner, Anne went up to her room to get ready for bed. She lifted her dress off of her and the note fell to the floor; she had forgotten it. She picked it up and went to her dresser. Opening the first drawer, she moved aside her clothing to find the small wooden box tucked in the corner. She lifted the lid and placed the note on top of the pile. All of the notes Gilbert had written her were stuffed inside. She hadn’t read any of them, assuming they either didn’t have anything written inside or just something mundane. The image of him giving her notes was the real point, not what was inside. No one could see what was inside. Still, she could not bring herself to look in them. She didn’t know what she wanted them to say. If they were romantic, it would only depress her, knowing they were fake. And if they were empty, it would also depress her. And yet, she also couldn’t bring herself to throw them away. And so here they were, tucked away in her drawer. Tiny little ‘Anne’s stacked on top of each other.
“Okay. Gilbert, Marilla invited you over to dinner tonight, but I don’t think you should go. I don’t think we should include our families in this farce because it will only make things more difficult when it ends. I beg of you to feign an illness. Say Bash is sick. Anything.” Anne practiced her speech on the way to school before she met Diana at the fork in the road.
The morning was a bit chilly for this late in the spring and she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. The birds were quieter than usual, and Anne was left alone with her thoughts. She found her mind wandering to Gilbert calling her princess the day before. Her stomach did a flip as she played it over in her head. Anne had always wanted to be a princess. Princess Cordelia was her favorite made up persona, after all. Hearing someone other than Diana or herself call her a princess made her grin like an idiot. She had to remind herself he was only playing along with a joke she had started.
She loved the way he said her name, though. At first, she had hated it. He always said it like it was a joke, somehow. In the beginning, it always sounded like he was taunting her. Now, though, it sounded like he was laughing with her name, like there was no greater joy than saying her name out loud.
Anne shook her head. None of this was true. Gilbert said her name like anyone else. She was only hearing what she wanted to hear. But what was it that she wanted to hear?
Thankfully, the sight of Diana waving at her in the fork put an end to her dangerous thoughts. She tried to not dwell on her feelings for Gilbert. They were good friends. It had taken them a while to get there and she wasn’t going to ruin it by wanting it to be something else.
“Marilla wants me to bring Gilbert to dinner tonight.” Anne said after her and Diana started on their way.
“That’s amazing!”
“No, it is not Diana! It is the worst possible thing that could ever be suggested seeing as Marilla does know Gilbert is only pretending to court me!”
Diana looked back at Anne, confused. “Oh.”
“Bringing Marilla and Matthew into this would only complicate matters further when this inevitably ends.”
“Will it end?” Diana said, raising her eyebrow at Anne.
Anne sputtered, “Of course it will end, Diana, it isn’t even real.”
“Isn’t it? Hi Gilbert!” Diana left Anne at the bottom of the schoolhouse steps and walked inside.
Gilbert nodded to Diana as she passed and smiled down at Anne. “Good morning.”
It was so hard to remember why she didn’t want him over for dinner when he looked at her like that. He was leaning against the wall, book in hand, pencil behind his ear. His curls were poking out messily.
“I need to talk to you!” Anne blurted before she forgot.
“Okay. I’m right here.” Gilbert gestured at himself standing right in front of her.
“Marilla wants you to come to dinner tonight.”
“Sounds great, I’ll stay when I drop you off after school.” He uncrossed his legs and reached for the door to let them in.
“No!” Anne almost shouted. “I don’t think it’s a good idea because I don’t want to complicate matters further and have her think you’re actually courting me.”
Gilbert raised an eyebrow at her.
“I just mean I don’t want her asking a bunch of questions when this inevitably ends.”
Gilbert looked taken aback.
“I just mean, this is fake, so obviously it will end soon.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, his jaw ticking. “Obviously.”
Without another word, he went inside the schoolhouse, leaving her outside. She huffed and went inside, sitting beside Diana. The girls talked about the dresses they had ordered for the party in Charlottetown and Anne kept sneaking glances at Gilbert. He was pointedly not looking at her. She finally turned away and half-heartedly joined in with the girls’ dress fantasies.
When the school day was over, Anne’s nerves were shot. Gilbert hadn’t even looked at her all day, let alone spoke to her. She knew she had done something wrong, but she wasn’t sure what it was. As she packed up her books, she came to the realization that he probably wouldn’t be walking her home. That also meant he wouldn’t be staying for dinner, which was what she originally wanted, but she still felt sad thinking about walking home alone.
Yet, when she left the schoolhouse, Gilbert was waiting for her at the bottom of the steps.
“Gilbert!” Anne said, surprised to see him. “You’re walking me home?”
He smiled at her like he hadn’t been ignoring her all day. “Of course. Don’t want to miss dinner.”
Even though she hadn’t wanted to bring her family into the fray, she also didn’t want to make Gilbert mad at her again, so she only smiled as they started towards Green Gables.
They chatted about the days lessons, and Anne kept looking at Gilbert to see if he was still angry with her. She wanted to ask, but she also didn’t want to make him mad again, so she just dropped it. Finally, they arrived at Green Gables. Instead of Gilbert leaving her at the gates, though, he followed her through and up the porch.
“We’re here, Marilla!” Anne shouted, putting her hat on the hook. “Do you need our help with dinner?”
The kitchen smelled wonderful and was almost stiflingly warm. Marilla was pulling out all the stops, Anne noticed.
“Oh no, I’ve got it! You two can just chat amongst yourselves.”
Anne wasn’t expecting that. She was counting on being busy with cooking to avoid spending more individual time with Gilbert. It wasn’t that she didn’t like spending time alone with Gilbert, she really did. And that was the problem. He made it hard to remember this was all fake.
“Um…” She turned towards Gilbert, who was standing at the door, his eyebrows raised at her in question. He still had his boots on, so he gestured at the door behind him.
“Would you like to go outside?”
Anne thought sitting outside would make things far less awkward, so she agreed and led him out and to her favorite part of Green Gables.
They lowered themselves cross-legged beneath the white blossoming tree outside Anne’s bedroom. The petals from the fallen blossoms littered the ground, making it look like snow fall. The air was warm and the fragrances strong. It was a nice moment, the breeze ruffling their hair and bringing the smell of flowers to their noses, mingled with whatever Marilla was cooking. Anne took a deep breath in, savoring the magic that the world could bring.
“Do you help Marilla with dinner often?” Gilbert asked, watching birds fly above them.
Anne watched the swallows swoop in and out of each other, chasing tails across the sky. “Oh yes. I had to cook dinner every night in the last house I was in, but I actually enjoy doing it here. Marilla helps and doesn’t get angry if I burn something.”
Anne felt Gilbert turn his head to look at her for a moment, then looked back out across the fields. “Did you ever have a nice home before this one?”
Anne sighed. “Honestly, I never even had a home before this one.” She took a breath and started to explain herself. “I don’t think of my time in service as living in a home. It was work. I was always reminded that I was earning my keep. There was no love, there was no care. I was a maid, a cook, a nurse. You can’t have a home without love.”
They were silent for a long moment, each contemplating.
“I was scared when my father passed that the house wouldn’t feel like home anymore. It’s like you said, without love, a house is only a structure. That was a large reason behind why I left. I wanted to get away from the house before I felt it turn on me.” Gilbert picked up a fallen blossom, twirling it between his fingers. “But since I came back I found the love never left me. I could feel my dad everywhere in the house. On the couch, where he used to read. In the windows, where he used to call out to me that dinner was ready. In the bathroom where he used to give me horrible haircuts.” Gilbert chuckled as he remembered.
Anne looked over at him. A petal had fallen from the tree and landed in his hair. He was still looking at the blossom between his fingers, lost in a memory she didn’t share. And then, before she even knew what she was saying, Anne said “I like the way you speak, Gilbert.”
He looked up at her. She looked away.
“I just mean you say words so beautifully. You take words, an already inexhaustible source of beauty, and somehow make them better just by how they come out of your mouth.”
She wasn’t sure why she said that or what it actually was she was saying.
“I like the way you see me, Anne.”
It was Anne’s turn to look over at him, a question in her eyes.
“I mean, I like the way you see the entire world. There is nothing inherently bad to you. You see the best in everything and everyone. You see the best in me. It makes me feel good to know there is someone who thinks of me like that.”
Anne didn’t look away from him as her stomach did a back flip. She watched his throat move as he swallowed, his profile lit by the lamps on the porch.
“It’s nice to talk like this. It’s easy to be honest with you.” Anne said, still watching him. He was still looking out over the fields.
She felt his knuckles brush hers as he brought his hand over. He slid his fingers down her palm and intertwined them with hers. She looked down at their hands. They were holding fast to each other, laid on top of the flower petals. Their hands looked so perfectly snug, contrasting against the white. She looked out over the trees, hand in hand with him. They sat in silence, each comforted by the other’s presence. The breeze lifted the petals beside them, scattering them across the yard. The sun began to dip lower into the sky. It was one of the best moments she had ever shared with someone and, for a moment, she let herself pretend it was real.
Dinner passed pleasantly, Marilla asking Gilbert about his studies and Anne and Gilbert sneaking glances at each other. None of it was awkward, since it wasn’t their first shared dinner. They talked about Bash and Mary and the upcoming baby. They ate and talked and talked and ate. When everyone was finally full, and the sun was long gone, they all stood, and Matthew offered to give Gilbert a ride to his house
“Oh no, I couldn’t. The walk isn’t far. And I need to walk off some of Marilla’s excellent cookies.” Gilbert smiled at Marilla and she bowed her head gratefully, a shy smile on her own face.
“I’ll clean up here.” Marilla said, already stacking the plates from the table. Anne walked with Gilbert to the door.
“Well, this was nice.” She said as they turned to face each other at the door.
“Yes, it was.” Gilbert replied, smiling at her.
He reached down and grabbed her hand. He brought it up to his face and kissed her knuckles. His lips were like feathers tickling her skin, but she still felt her stomach twist as he looked at her.
“Good night Miss Anne.” He turned and opened the door, leaving a shocked Anne behind him. She ran her fingers over the spot where he had kissed her. The butterflies in her stomach had turned into the swallows they had seen earlier, twisting around rapidly.
As she watched his figure disappear into the night, her heart beat frantically. This was the trouble with her arrangement with Gilbert. She had trouble deciphering what was real and what was fake. No matter which, though, it all made her feel very real things.
The trip to Charlottetown was at the end of the week. The classroom was buzzing with excitement as everyone arranged who they were going to sit with on the train, what they were wearing to the party, or how exciting it all was. For some, it was their first time in a big city. Anne joined in on the excitement, but she found she was also nervous.
She had started to get nervous around Gilbert. Their walks home were quieter and if he noticed he never let on. She was obviously feeling something past friendship for him, but he didn’t share the sentiment. He was just really talented at faking. She supposed she could only blame herself. She should have known she was too hopeless a romantic to not get swept up in this. She didn’t sit with him for lunch as often as she did at the beginning, but he still wore her ribbon around his wrist. She had expected it to be dirty after keeping it on his wrist all this time, but it was still clean and bright against his skin.
She glanced over at him the same time he did her. He smiled at her and she just looked back at Diana and Josie, who were discussing the chances of Charlottetown boys attending the party.
“Oh no, it’s just for us. Aunt Josephine wanted it to be a special chance for us to experience a home full of electricity and still have a nice time together. She didn’t want to overwhelm us.” While this looked to disappoint some of the girls, Anne was glad. She had enough distractions as it is.
Miss Stacy came in and the chatter died. Lessons began, and the day went on. The rest of the week was relatively the same. Everyone buzzing about the trip and Miss Stacy trying to keep everyone focused. Anne and Gilbert would walk home and Anne would talk about lessons or Bash or Marilla or anything other than the trip. She knew she had contractually agreed to attend the party with him, but she hadn’t expected she would actually have to. She didn’t think this would have gone on this long. She didn’t want to think about being with Gilbert at the party.
By Thursday, no one could do anything resembling school work. They were to meet at the train station the next morning to leave. Miss Stacy dismissed them early and everyone practically ran home to pack.
Anne came down the stairs to find Gilbert waiting for her, as usual.
“I can’t walk you home today, I have to get home to help Bash do some things around the farm since I’ll be gone all weekend.” Gilbert walked with her to the edge of the schoolyard. “I’ll see you on the train, Carrots.” Gilbert smirked at her and lightly tugged at her braid, dredging up the memory from one of their first interactions.
Anne smiled and waved, turning to head home. One thing was for sure and certain: she wasn’t sure she was going to make it through this weekend.
By the time Anne had arrived at the train station, she had a plan. She was going to sit with Diana on the train and keep by her side throughout the weekend. It wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary- Diana was her best friend. Then it would keep Gilbert (and her feelings about him) at bay while keeping the façade intact.
She hefted her bag onto the train, handing it to the man at the door.
“Thank you, sir.”
He tipped his hat and Anne started down the aisle. She saw Gilbert sitting in a booth not far from her. Her stomach flipped when she noticed him. Before she had a chance to begin searching for Diana, though, Gilbert looked up and noticed her. He waved his hand and called her over.
“Oh, um, I promised Diana I would sit with her!” Anne scanned the seats frantically, hoping Diana was already there. Thankfully, she found Diana sitting with Ruby in a booth a few down from Gilbert. She started towards them, trying to ignore Gilbert’s look of confusion.
He started out of the booth. “Anne, come on, I saved you a seat with me.”
Anne scooted past him, still trying not to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t possibly break a promise to a best friend, Gilbert. You must understand.”
She slid into the booth with her friends while Gilbert just stared at her from the middle of the aisle. Eventually, he sat back down and was joined by his friends. Anne was glad for the space. Even in the small amount of time when she was close to him, she felt her breathing get short. It really was not healthy. In the end, she was doing this for her own health.
Anne couldn’t avoid Gilbert the entire weekend, though. On the first day, as the class toured the lightbulb factory, she found herself beside him. They naturally gravitated towards each other when it came to learning. It was easier to share exasperated looks when classmates didn’t understand concepts when you were right beside the person you were sharing said look with. They could talk to each other about the factory and the bulbs and the science behind it. It was easy to talk to Gilbert, but that was also the problem; it was too easy to talk to Gilbert.
Their trips to the museum of natural history the next day went the same way. Anne began the tour beside Diana and ended it looking at calcified bones with Gilbert. They leaned over the glass casing, studying the different bones inside a hand.
“Isn’t it marvelous?” Anne breathed.
“Yes, it is.” Gilbert looked at her as she looked at all the complexities forming the body. He cleared his throat. “This is what makes me what to be a doctor. To know how systems like this work to make each of us up as individuals. It’s extraordinary.”
Gilbert and Anne walked back to the hotel together in a group of their friends. The weekend had been pleasant, everyone had been getting along great. That night was the party at Miss Josephine Barry’s. Diana told everyone her aunt had ordered a live band to attend and everyone began excitedly discussing dancing to a live band. Anne already knew the magic of Miss Josephine Barry’s parties. She was happy her fellow classmates got to experience one. They were all headed back to freshen up before heading to the estate. The party was the last event of the trip; they were leaving the next morning.
When Anne got back to the hotel, she pulled her new dress out of her bag. She had worked extra hard around the farm over the last few weeks to convince Marilla to let her get a new fancy dress. Her old blue one had started to grow a little tight. Plus, all of the other girls were ordering new dresses. She felt the fabric of the beautiful puff sleeves. This dress was simple, all teal and only accented in white lace around the neck and on the sleeves, but Anne thought it was beautiful. It brought out the blue in her eyes and hopefully made everyone forget how dreadfully red her hair was.
She thought about how the boys were also dressing up for tonight. Gilbert would be wearing a suit jacket. She thought back to the last time she had seen him in one- during Mary and Bash’s wedding. He had conjured up quite a figure in a tie. She made herself push the though away and she picked the dress up to put on. After she had it on, Diana helped her with her hair. Instead of the usual braids she wore, Anne left half of her hair down, like Diana did. She braided the top half and tied it with a ribbon made of the same lace of the trim of her dress. She stood and looked in the mirror, shocked at what she saw. She actually felt pretty. Her hair fell around her face in curls from the braids she had had in all day. Her hair color had started to darken a bit and was finally back to the length it was before she had to chop it all off.
“Oh, Anne you look gorgeous.” Diana beamed from behind her.
“You should be the one to talk, Diana Barry. You look as radiant as always.” She pinched at Diana’s puff sleeve. “This fabric is amazing. And accents your hair ever so nicely.”
Diana still had to finish putting on her stockings, so Anne decided to go downstairs to wait one everyone. As she descended the last step into the hotel lobby, she looked up to see Gilbert stepping down the last step on the other side of the room. He looked up and their eyes met. They both stopped short and stared at each other.
Gilbert was wearing a simple black suit jacket and white button up shirt, but he looked divine. It hugged his shoulders tightly and Anne noticed how much bigger he had gotten since harvest began. His curls stuck out every which way in the way Anne loved so much and he was staring at her, wide eyed.
He drew a sharp breath in and whispered “Anne…”
She picked subconsciously at her sleeve, looking down at her feet.
He cleared his throat and walked over towards her. “You look… beautiful.”
Anne’s head whipped back up to him and she felt a blush forming in her cheeks and begged it to go away. She took his outstretched arm and tried to remember every single detail of this moment. The first time a boy had called her beautiful. Distantly, her mind reminded her he was only pretending, but she ignored it and instead focused on the rest of the evening.
Josephine Barry’s home was as lovely as ever. As it was at the Christmas Party, the dancing area dripped with flowers. The band’s notes danced around the room as everyone stood, eating their finger foods. The dancing are was noticeably empty, everyone standing around it. No one wanted to make the first move, no matter how much Josephine Barry prompted them.
The band turned over a delightful tune and Anne could take it no more. She set her cup down and dragged Diana and Ruby to the middle of the floor. They held hands and jumped in a circle, laughing merrily. Soon after, the rest of the girls joined in. Eventually Moody and even Charlie started jumping around to the beat of the music, but the rest of the boys stood on the edge of the fray. While Anne lifted her hands above her head and twirled, she noticed Gilbert watching her. He was leaning against the pillar across the room, his lips turned up at the corners as he watched her dance. She flashed him a smile and grabbed Diana’s hands to skip around everyone.
Eventually, the music melted into a slower dance. Anne stopped to catch her breath, thankful for the reprieve, and felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around to find Gilbert standing next to her with his hand out.
“Miss Anne, may I have this dance?” He bowed dramatically, smirking at her.
Diana giggle and Anne stood there, rooted to the spot.
“I-“ Diana pushed her forward and Anne took his hand and stepped into a dance with him. Soon after, the boys and girls started pairing up around them and Anne felt her anxiety ease. Everyone kept an arm’s length away, mindful of Miss Stacy watching them from the side of the room.
Gilbert’s hands were warm on Anne’s sides and she fought the urge to touch his hair with her hands intertwined behind his neck. They swayed to the music.
“I like your hair down, Carrots.” Gilbert said, reaching one hand up to wrap a bit of it between his fingers. Her side was cold where his hand had left it.
“Yes, well, don’t get used to it. I find it most annoying to deal with when moving. It keeps getting caught in my mouth.” Anne looked everywhere but at Gilbert’s face. He put his hand back down on her side and her breath caught and she hoped he didn’t notice. This was the closest they had been, physically, since he kissed her when she first agreed to their arrangement. Her cheeks burned at the memory and she looked at him.
He was staring into her eyes, as if to tell her he was thinking about the same thing. She glanced down to his lips, quickly, but he noticed. The side of his mouth turned up and she found it very hard to breathe. Again, the kiss was fake, but the memory burned real. Him holding her right now was pretend, but the fire on her skin where his hands rested was anything but. She suddenly needed to get away from him very quickly.
“I have to go!” She said suddenly, dropping her hands and stepping out of his arms. She turned and almost ran to the hallway outside the room. She leaned against the wall, holding her stomach and taking big gulps of air. She felt her eyes start to burn.
“Anne?” Of course Gilbert had followed her. He found her and grabbed her shoulder, leaning down to look into her eyes. “Are you alright? Are you ill?”
His hand on her shoulder was not helping the matter. His concern for her health made her stomach ache more. She stepped out of his grasp again.
“Gilbert, I can’t do this anymore.” She said, hated the tears that were forming in her eyes.
“Okay, you don’t have to dance. If you’re not feeling well I can tell Miss Stacy-“
“No, Gilbert.” She gestured between them. “This. I can’t do this anymore.”
His head reared back, almost as if she had slapped him. “What?”
“I just, I can’t pretend anymore. I don’t care if everyone knows this is fake. You can tell them. It’s too hard for me. Being around you all the time, talking, holding hands, all of that. It’s hard for me to tell what’s real and not real.” She took a breath as Gilbert just stared at her. “And I suppose that’s my own fault, Marilla always tells me I spend too much time in my fantasies. It’s just so hard to act like this with you all the time knowing you don’t actually mean it and none of it means anything.”
“Anne-“ Gilbert started.
“No, Gilbert, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. You only suggested this because I was sad and I appreciate it. But it’s worked. Billy doesn’t say those mean things to me anymore and even Josie Pye smiles at me every now and again. So our deal is over.”
“You know, Anne, you’re the smartest person I know. But sometimes, you can be really dense.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” She said, indignant.
Gilbert started to say something but snapped his mouth shut. He turned and strode back into the party, leaving Anne alone in the hallway.
Before she started crying in earnest, she turned and walked out of Miss Barry’s home and back towards the hotel. She knew she shouldn’t be walking by herself at night, but surely Gilbert would tell Miss Stacy something. He would either tell her that she had gotten sick or he will tell everyone the truth and she was sure to never hear the end of it. She decided she would handle it. She had lived through worse. Maybe Marilla would homeschool her.
When she made it back to her room, she flopped back on the bed and cried. She cried until she couldn’t cry anymore and she heard the door open. Diana came in and Anne felt her weight move the bed as she sat down beside her.
“Oh, Anne...” Diana brushed the hair from her face and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.
Anne told her everything she was feeling. How he made her feel. How she hated how he made her feel. How much it pained her to know it was all fake. When she finished lamenting, Diana sighed.
“Anne... do you really believe that?”
Anne looked over at Diana who was looking down at her almost pitying.
“Believe what?”
Diana rolled her eyes. “That Gilbert is faking.”
Anne sat up on her elbows, her eyebrows knitting together. “Of course. We started this as a farce.”
Diana shook her head. “Anne it may have started as an act, but that doesn’t mean that it’s still an act.”
“What do you mean?”
Diana looked at Anne in the way Marilla looked at her when chastising her for leaving her clothes on the floor. “Anne. I told you he had a crush on you long before you started this. Everyone can see it. It’s especially obvious now. You didn’t see Gilbert on the Christmas Pantomime two years ago, but he isn’t a good actor. The only way he could pull this off for this long is if his feelings were true.”
“Diana, he could never feel that way about me.”
“Couldn’t he?”
Diana rose to change into her sleeping gown as Anne stared at the wall, confused. If what Diana was saying was true and Gilbert wasn’t good at pretending, then him actually feeling that way about her would make sense. But that couldn’t be possible.
Anne changed out of her dress and crawled into bed. Diana shut the light off beside the bed, but Anne wouldn’t sleep any time soon. Gilbert had never said he liked her. He did wear her ribbon every day. But that was all part of the game. No, Anne thought. No, he couldn’t possibly like me. He only did this as a favor to me. He had called her dense. She pushed Diana’s thoughts out of her mind and forced herself to sleep.
When everyone came down to the lobby the next morning to check out, Gilbert wouldn’t look at Anne. She kept glancing his way, but he was staring off at a wall on the other side of the room, his jaw clenched.
Anne sat with Diana on the train and by the time she was pulling into Green Gables with Matthew and Marilla, her mood was foul. She relayed the entire weekend detail by detail to them, save the dance and fight with Gilbert. When they got into the house, Anne asked to be excused to sleep for a little bit. Marilla obliged and Anne went back up to her room, brewing.
She was angry, but mostly sad. She was angry at herself for getting involved in all of this in the first place and sad at it ending. She laid on her back, staring at the ceiling, Diana’s words the night before flooding back into her mind.
Diana didn’t know what she was talking about. Gilbert must have just gotten acting lessons or something. Maybe he had seen plays at his time overseas. But it was certainly all an act for other people. But there were times Gilbert things when no one was around... Anne thought.
He held her hand that time before dinner. He gave her a note on their walk after school. The notes...
Anne sat up suddenly, jumping off of her bed. She reached inside her dresser to get her box. Surely, they would be blank. If they were, Anne would end her sadness and just get over it. She had done it to herself, she had no one else to blame. She grabbed the note on the bottom, the first note he had given her. She didn’t think about the possibility of the notes actually having something written inside them, which is why she wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she opened the first one.
You are so smart. Anne recalled the day he had given her that note. Miss Stacy had just passed back their quiz from the day before and Anne had the highest marks in the class. She sniffed and reach for the next one. That didn’t mean much, he always called her smart.
I like when you wear the blue ribbons that match your eyes. That was from the day he had asked her to give him one of her ribbons. She felt her eyes start to sting.
My dad would have loved you. Now the tears welled up in her eyes.
I love the look you get in your eyes when you’re determined to figure out an algebra problem.
Our walks to Green Gables are my favorite part of the day.
Your hair is the color of sunset right after a big rain storm.
You never cease to amaze me.
The tears were falling freely from her eyes. Anne had a wild imagination, but she didn’t think she was imagining Gilbert’s notes reflected what Diana had told her the night before. Gilbert wasn’t pretending.
She took off downstairs, shouting to Marilla that she had to give Gilbert back his notebook for school tomorrow. She didn’t stay long enough to hear her reply. She just ran towards Gilbert’s farm, the wind whipping her braids behind her.
The sun was dipping low in the sky by the time she saw his house in the distance. She was long out of breath, but she ran up to the door anyway. She knocked and tried to catch her breath. She didn’t want Gilbert to see her red from running, her hair sticking out around her head. Instead, it was Bash that answered the door.
“Anne!”
“Bash!” Her chest heaved up and down as she breathed heavily. “Where’s Gilbert?”
He looked surprised to see her in such a state. “He’s, um, he’s out back tending to the-“
Before he could even finish his sentence, Anne took off down the porch and around the house. She saw him standing in the garden, his sleeves rolled up and his arms covered in soil. She stopped as soon as she saw him.
“Gilbert!”
His head snapped up to face her. “Anne?” He said, as surprised as Bash. “What do you have in your hand?”
Anne looked down. She hadn’t even realized she clutched the last of Gilbert’s notes in her hand.
“I...” She took a deep, steadying breath and walked to him. “I don’t want to pretend.”
Gilbert looked at her face and then back down, recognizing his note in her hand. He searched her eyes as he lifted his hands to the side of her face and crashed his lips onto hers.
Much like their first kiss, Anne’s body felt like it had left all things as mundane as gravity behind and her soul was flying towards the setting sun. She grabbed the back of his arms and pulled him towards her. He smelled like dirt and sweat, and Anne thought it was the most beautiful scent she had ever experienced. His lips were soft and firm against hers, lighting her entire body on fire.
Too soon, he pulled back, keeping their faces close. She could see the light brown, almost golden, flecks in his eyes, gazing into hers.
“That was real.”