Chapter Text
A short ten minute walk brought them to Bakugo’s street two intersections away from his apartment. When they got closer, he could easily see that both Kirishima and Midoriya were still where he had left them despite the time that had passed. Tohru put her feet back on the ground when she caught sight of her other father, releasing both of their hands to run towards him. Her yelling drew both of their gazes in their direction, Bakugo hesitated his step. While Midoriya only momentarily locked eyes with him, Kirishima kept them trained on him – his expression unreadable. He didn’t want to speak to either of them, he just wanted to go home and be alone.
“Don’t worry.” Todoroki whispered briefly, “I’ll take Izuku away.”
“Tohru!” The Number One Hero smiled, gathering his daughter in his arms and raising her above his head. “Did you have fun at the park?” Her response came with a loud “rawr” and a flame of fire from her mouth. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
Cradling the toddler to his chest, Midoriya exchanged a look of concern with Kirishima. There seemed to be a sense of mutual understanding in the unspoken message, indicated with a brief but firm nod. The former went to take a step towards Bakugo, but Todoroki intervened as he had promised. Gently placing a hand on his arm, he said: “Let’s go home. Tohru needs to take a nap.”
“But…” Midoriya tried. Though Bakugo couldn’t see the look Todoroki gave his husband, it got him to concede. He flashed him another look of sympathy with a “we’ll see you later” before the three left for their car.
Now, all Bakugo was left with was confronting Kirishima.
To his credit, the redhead presented himself as an immovable force what with his stern look and sturdy demeanour. Arms crossed tightly across his chest and legs akimbo – he wasn’t going to be cast aside as easily as Midoriya. And yet, Bakugo wasn’t in the slightest mood to entertain another “talk”. He broke eye contact with the other and headed for his apartment’s entrance; predictably, Kirishima moved to stand in his way. The blond had intended to wordlessly convey his annoyance with a single glare, but was caught off-guard by the look of hurt etched onto his friend’s face. A pang of guilt and regret resonated in his chest.
“You’re not even going to talk to me…?” He commented more than asked.
“There’s nothing to say.” Bakugo maintained dryly, reaching for the door handle.
Kirishima pressed a hand on it roughly, some of his own anger and frustration seeping out. Bakugo couldn’t help but to get irritated in turn after all, who was he to get upset? Kirishima hadn’t been told his career was over, Bakugo had. “Yes there is!” The redhead snapped. “There’s so much to say, to-to discuss! Look, I’m sorry I told Midoriya about your examination, I didn’t mean to hurt you!”
“Hurt me?” Bakugo retorted furiously, the word had set him off. “You didn’t hurt me, Kirishima, you fucking embarrassed me! After that fucking examination, I saw the last two people I ever wanted to see because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut!”
“I know and I’m sorry!” Kirishima shouted, “And I’m not going to try to defend it, I know I fucked up. I just…I thought…”
“You thought I would pass, that I would get my Hero license back.” He finished for him, the pain in his chest intensified as did the itch from his scarred gunshot wound.
Kirishima frowned and glanced away. “Yeah…” He admitted quietly, but then he perked up. “B-but it’s not like it’s out of your reach forever! You just need to get examined by a specialised psychologist—”
“No, Kirishima!” Bakugo interrupted heatedly. He hated how optimistic his friend was. “I’m not talking about this with you! Not now!”
“Why not!?” He snapped back, “Seeing a psychologist isn’t a big deal!”
“I’m not talking about this!” Bakugo restated.
The family-owned store was deathly silent and yet the mess of tipped over shelves and scattered bags of snacks – Haribo gummies – made it seem as though it were the loudest place in the world.
“Just call Best Jeanist and have him arrange a meeting!” Kirishima yelled.
The gunman yelled through his terrified tears, it was evident that things hadn’t gone the way he had planned. He had meant to rob an unassuming family owned store but, much to his misfortune, Ground Zero had stumbled upon him.
“No!” Bakugo shouted.
He had only been fast enough to grab the grandma from behind the counter, pressing his gun to her temple while the father and son cowered down onto the floor, holding each other tightly. Her pink dress with white poke-a-dots brought out the rosiness of her tear-stained cheeks.
So loud…
“Fine! I’ll call him for you!” Kirishima declared, taking his phone out of his pocket.
Bakugo had been trained in hostage situations, but had chosen to utilise his own brand of diplomacy: threats and taunts. He didn’t consider the gunman as a danger mainly because it was quite evident he was Quirkless given how much he relied on the gun he waved around so carelessly.
With hindsight, he wished he had been more sympathetic.
“Kirishima, just stop it!” Bakugo growled, reaching for the phone but it was pulled out of his reach.
It was obvious the gunman had attempted to rob the store because he was struggling financially and was desperate. Fundamentally, he wasn’t a horrible person, just someone who had been beat down by capitalism and left with few options. Not that it justified his actions.
“Then tell me what’s going on!” Kirishima demanded. “Why won’t you get assessed!?”
“I said stay back!” The gunman cried, “I’ll fucking shoot her!”
“Don’t fuck with me!” Bakugo snapped, much to Kirishima’s confusion.
While the gunman did wave his pistol around, pointing it to everyone sequentially as though it were a game, he clearly didn’t intend to shoot anyone. This awareness made Bakugo all the more careless, not considering that his finger was resting on the trigger and that, in his agitated state, it would inevitably slip.
“I-I swear to fucking God I’ll blow her brains out if you take one more fucking step!”
“Bakugo…?”
“Just drop the fucking phone!” He yelled, and used his Quirk to blast it out of Kirishima’s hand.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
“Bakugo!”
Kirishima was knelt in front of him, hands gripping his shoulders tightly. Bakugo slowly lowered his hands from his head, finding himself sat on the ground with his knees tucked into his chest. The echo of a gunshot rang in his head, gradually fading.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Kirishima asked, a nauseating look of worry deforming his face.
Bakugo grit his teeth together, shoving the other away roughly. “I’m fine!” He spat, burying his face into his knees and covering his head with his hands. “I’m not broken! I’m fine!” Kirishima stared at him quietly, the concern and belittling sympathy burning into his flesh and stoking the flames of his anger and self-hatred. He heard him shuffling back onto his knees; a few seconds passed before he felt the gentle press of his hand onto his forearm. Bakugo shrugged him off dryly again. “Do you get why I don’t want to bother with another assessment!? I’m fine, but they’ll tell me I’m not and they’ll force me to give up being a Hero for good!”
Kirishima paused. “Were you…were you planning on going rogue…?”
“M…Maybe—I don’t know!” Bakugo snapped. He pushed himself from the ground and stomped to the door. “Fuck this, I said I didn’t want to talk about it!”
He pulled the door open and finally walked in, hoping to leave Kirishima behind. However, the redhead caught it just before it closed, pursuing him further. “Fine, I won’t push you!” He promised. Bakugo pressed the elevator, intending to enter and leave before the other could catch up. “But I’m not leaving you! Not today!”
Kirishima managed to catch the doors and pried them open. He tried to walk in, but Bakugo moved in his way pressing a firm hand to his chest. “Go home, Kirishima.” He ordered.
The demand wounded him, but he kept persisting. “No.” He said, forcing his way in. Bakugo glared at him, growling lowly as the elevator began to ascend. “I promise I won’t nag you about anything anymore. I just don’t think you should be alone right now.”
“See, Kirishima? That’s the problem.” Bakugo hissed, losing his composure again, “You don’t think. You don’t know what I need, so just go home and leave me alone.”
Perhaps he had been a bit too cruel, but he had finally gotten Kirishima to stop. The latter remained speechless until the elevator doors opened anew on Bakugo’s floor. He attempted to pass by, to finally be alone, but the redhead caught his wrist. “Can I just tell you something?” He asked. He sounded so dejected and wounded that, while Bakugo was still fuming, he couldn’t bring himself to shut him down as harshly again. No matter how upset he was with Kirishima, he was still his friend. “I get that this is hard for you; really hard. You’re suffering way more than I ever understand.” The elevator doors shut, but it didn’t move as no one else had called it. “I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel and how this is affecting you. But it’s not just affecting you.” Kirishima’s grip tightened and Bakugo could feel him trembling. “That day, three months ago, I thought I had lost you. I thought I was going to get to the hospital and find you dead. Do you know what that was like? It was my day off and I felt like your death would be my fault because I wasn’t there with you – because I had the audacity to enjoy myself a-and be lazy for a day.”
Tears began to pool in Kirishima’s eyes and Bakugo didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t considered how the people around him had felt about his incident, namely because he hadn’t died. What was there for others to be upset about if he had lived?
“And, listen,” Kirishima continued, lowering his head to hide the tears that were threatening to spill out. “I know it wouldn’t have been my fault, I’ve heard it enough, but the thought still haunts me. It makes me sick.” A few of his tears rolled down his cheeks and fell onto the floor. Bakugo didn’t know what to do or if he should do anything. “That ride to the hospital only took a handful of minutes, but it felt like years. I had time to reflect on so many things – and I just want you to know how much I would have regretted my time with you had you died. I don’t know how I would have continued living with myself. We always told each other we would do so many things together – things we never found the time to do. And up until your incident, we hadn’t seen much of each other. Had you died, I would have regretted all the things we never got to do – the important things I never got to tell you.”
His grip on Bakugo’s wrist loosened and he lowered his hand until he was holding onto his fingers. The blond stiffened, unsure how to interpret the gesture. His heart skipped a beat when the elevator whirred back to life and began its descent.
“I know you, Bakugo.” Kirishima sighed, smiling sadly. “I know you don’t understand why I feel this way, or why I’m haunted by what could have happened even though it clearly didn’t come to pass.” He looked up and held the blond’s troubled gaze. “And I’m sorry I’m making this about me, that I’m being so selfish right now, but I need you to know that I’m annoying you and pissing you off because you mean so much to me. And…maybe knowing that I’ve loved you for years will help you understand where this is all coming from – that I never meant to hurt you or upset you.” He released his grip just as the elevators slowed to a halt on the ground level. He patted Bakugo’s shoulder and walked past him as the doors opened. “I don’t expect you to say or do anything now or even later. This was for me. I’ll leave you be, but please call me if you need anything.”
A young woman passed by him and walked on the elevator, peeking awkwardly at Bakugo and seeming very uncomfortable. She must have been acutely aware that she had wandered into a serious conversation and was trying to make herself invisible. Bakugo hardly noticed her. He was too stunned by what Kirishima had confessed to, to register much of anything else. He stared at him dumbly as he left for the exit while the elevator closed its doors once again. This time, it was Bakugo who stopped them at the last possible moment and pried them open to chase after the redhead.
“You idiot, stop!” He shouted.
Kirishima made the mistake to listen and was promptly met with a fist to the face. The abrupt gesture tugged at Bakugo’s wound, striking him with pain. He quickly found himself doubled over with Kirishima, clutching at his stomach.
“Why did you hit me!?” Kirishima groaned, rubbing his sore cheek.
“I don’t know, I felt like I had to!” Bakugo barked back. “Why did you try leaving?”
“You said you wanted to be alone!” Kirishima retorted.
“Well, how am I supposed to be alone after all of that!?” The blond demanded. “I need space to think, I need space to be sad – to mourn, but I can’t do that when you’re like this!” Kirishima stared at him, mouth agape and eyes confused. “Gah!” Bakugo yelled, gripping his hair and wanting to yank some of it out. “There’s so much to unpack! Look, just come to my flat and we’ll be sad together for a bit. Then, you can leave and I’ll have space for myself. Okay?”
“…It won’t be weird for you?” Kirishima asked after a beat.
“No, you gay bastard! Now come on.” Bakugo growled, grabbing the other’s hand and dragging him back to the elevator. “And stop crying!”
“Does this mean you reciprocate my feelings?” Kirishima asked as they climbed back into the elevator.
Bakugo sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Kirishima,” He said slowly, “I have so much more shit on my mind than your misplaced love confession. We’ll talk about it when I’m ready.”
There was a beat of silence as they made their way back up to Bakugo’s floor. “Do you think I have a chance?” He added.
Bakugo grimaced at the bizarre set of question, realisation only dawning on him when he glanced at his friend to find him holding in a laugh. “You’re so fucking stupid.” He chuckled. Kirishima seemed satisfied to have achieved his goal.
This wasn’t what he had wanted. Bakugo would have much preferred to lock himself away until he was ready to confront the world again. However, this wasn’t so bad. He was still immeasurably upset with Kirishima, but he could look past it after seeing just how much he had also been affected by what had happened. He placed a hand over his scarred wound, realising that going back to normal would be impossible. He still didn’t know how to grasp this new reality, however he was begrudgingly aware Kirishima would be by his side through it all. The notion was somewhat comforting.