Chapter Text
1 month later…
It was a Friday. Castiel’s least favorite day as of now. He was the day he had his last moments with Dean. He hated Friday’s because all he could think about was the boy he loved. The boy that was gone forever.
Castiel thought about him every day. He was in his dreams, he was in his thoughts, he was everywhere and Cas’s mind hated it. ‘I just want him back…’ He thought. Cas would cry every single night and on bad days he’d sob the whole day long.
‘I’ve failed you Dean…’ He thought. ‘I am not strong…I was only strong with you, and I let you fall. I let you crumble and it’s my entire fault. I’m so sorry…’
Castiel would think that daily, killing any happiness any him. He hadn’t smiled since the day before Dean’s death. The school would send him his work to do from home; he was unsafe in the school zone. There were more days than not, that he wouldn’t even do the work given because he felt like it wasn’t even worth it. Today was one of those days.
It was 3:45 PM so his brothers and sister would be coming home soon. Everyday Cas would look out the window and see them pull in; they all would have smiles and happy thoughts planted in their minds. Castiel wished he did too. But today was a different day…the car came flying into the driveway with Gabriel running out the car and the others following.
Castiel cocked his eyebrows and ran down the stairs as they were walking in. “W-what’s g-going on?” Cas stuttered. He couldn’t say a single sentence straight anymore. He was always sad or nervous. Gabriel ran past him on the phone and Michael came up to Cas smiling.
“Kali’s having the baby.” He smirked and patted Cas’s shoulder. “Do you want to come to the hospital with us? Gabriel needs all the support he can get. He is a total wreck.” Anna asked pointing over to Gabriel who was pacing in circles as he was on the phone, getting an over the night bag.
‘Dean didn’t like hospital’s Cas…you can’t go there…’ He looked down at his feet and walked back up the stairs. ‘You’re not going be there for your brother, Cas?’ He thought. ‘Dean would want you there with your brother…Even if it’s in the hospital. He’d do that for Sam. You go do it for Gabe.’
He decided he should go, he needed to go. When he walked down the stairs only Lucifer was there. “W-where did—did everyone g-go?” He stuttered looking around. Lucifer pointed to the door and Castiel ran, but was too late. They were gone. ‘You’re a failure Cas…’ He thought to himself shutting the door behind him and walking slowly back the stairs.
“Hey Castiel?” Cas looked over at Lucifer. “If – if you really want to go, I’ll drive you there. Everyone just thought you didn’t because you just left to your room, buddy. So do you?” Lucifer asked tapping his foot. Castiel looked up to his brother. He was being dead serious.
Cas shyly nodded and Lucifer sighed. He got up and got the keys to his car, walking in front of Cas. They got into his old rusty red car, and Lucifer started to drive. It was quiet, almost too quiet.
“Lucifer, w-why weren’t you – you going?” Castiel asked timidly in a whisper. Lucifer smiled. “Because I didn’t want to be reminded of the past.”
Castiel looked up at Lucifer. “W-what do you m-mean?” He stuttered out. Lucifer looked down as they hit a spot light, then back at the road. “Cas, why didn’t you want to go to the hospital?” He asked, looking over to Cas.
Castiel looked down. Lucifer knew. “Exactly Cas, because you didn’t to be reminded of the past. I didn’t want to go back to the place where Mom was sick or where Michael was the day after Papa left. I hate hospitals. But, I’m going now because, if my baby brother can go then I can too.”
He could see Lucifer’s eyes twinkle in the sun but not letting one tear fall off his face. Castiel nodded stared out the window. Lucifer was right, he couldn’t live in the past. He had to make it for the future, for everyone he loved that where alive or dead.
They got to hospital and had been there for hours just watching Gabriel pace. “Gabriel calm down, you’re scaring me.” Anna said grabbing his shoulder, only to get it shoved off. “Don’t – don’t touch me!” Gabriel stumbled over his words, walking away to the men’s restroom.
Castiel looked around seeing him storm off. No one was going over to help him. “A-aren’t you going t-to any—anything?” He asked looking at Michael. Michael shook his head. “He’ll just freak out like he just did with Anna and end up hurting one of our feelings or literally hurting us.”
Castiel looked behind him at the men’s restroom and got up. “No Cas, sit back down, he’ll hurt you. Cas!” Michael yelled, getting his attention for a second. Cas looked back as he stepped into the bathroom. Gabriel was sitting on the toilet just crying.
He looked up, looking embarrassed and ashamed. “Guess I didn’t lock the door, did I?” He smiled a bit wiping his eyes as Cas locked the door behind him. It was a one person bathroom. “That would have been funny if I wasn’t just crying.” Gabriel chuckled in his cry.
Castiel looked down at Gabriel. “W-why are you c-crying?” Gabriel looked up and wiped his eyes. “I’m not ready, Cas…” He mumbled. Castiel cocked his eyebrows and tilted his head in confused.
“Cas, I’m not ready to be a single Father…” He explained seeing his confused state. Castiel looked down and nodded. “Cas, I can’t do this alone…I can’t. I’m not ready.” Gabe went on talking to his baby brother.
“But—but G-Gabe you’re not a-alone.” Castiel said patting his shoulder. Gabriel looked up and sighed. “You’ll be there with me, Cas?” He asked being completely serious. Castiel nodded. “What else am—am I s-supposed to do?” Next thing Castiel knew his brother was wrapping his arms around his neck. “Thank you, Castiel. Thank you.” He could feel a tear on his shoulder and patted Gabriel’s shoulder, nodding.
Gabriel let go and smiled at Cas and walked out the door, looking back at Cas. “Are you coming?” He asked as Cas turned around. He nodded. “I’m h-here.” He said walking out the door.
Hours went by and finally Gabriel was in the room with Kali as she gave birth. The Novak’s all waited outside in the waiting room. Michael paced around the room, not being able to just sit on his feet, Lucifer was asleep because of how late it was, Anna was reading a children’s magazine with Balthazar who was cracking jokes at the tiny pictures. Their mother was reading the bible as she always did and was smiling; that was something she hadn’t done in awhile.
Another hour went by and a pair of golden eyes poked through the door with a tiny blue blanket in his arms.
Everyone stood up instantly walking over to him. Gabriel was smiling wide, and laughing as he held the baby boy. “You’re a father now, Gabe. How are you feeling?” Michael asked. Gabriel bit his lip and looked up. “I feel like the happiest man alive, Michael.” He said as if you could hear the smile on his face.
“Can I hold him?” Anna asked looking down at the little guy. Gabriel looked up. “I actually want Castiel to hold him first.” Anna looked with confusion as Gabriel pushed through his family going over to Cas. Castiel stared in confusion and surprise as Gabriel laid the boy and the blue blanket into his grasp. It was tiny, fresh, and loving.
Castiel sat down at a chair and looked down at the tiny baby. The baby reached up for him, smiling. Castiel smiled for once in a long time. “What’s – What’s his name?” Castiel asked, smiling looking up at Gabriel.
Gabriel smiled. “Dean – Dean Alexander Novak.”
Castiel’s eyes went wide and tears started to form in his eyes; for once not because of being sad, but in the joy of the tiny baby. “Hello Dean.” Castiel mumbled wiping his face as a tear fell. Dean smiled up at him grabbing his index finger and playing with it in his strong grip.
Cas smiled wider and another tear fell off his face. “I promise to you, Dean that I’m never letting any harm come to you.” Gabriel and the whole family watched as Castiel talked. “I’m gonna be here for you every day of your life. You’re going to be loved and cared for like no other child. I will be the best Uncle for you. Everything is going to be okay as long as I am here, okay? I promise.”
The baby smiled and giggled to himself looking up at Cas. The whole family was tearing up as Castiel gave the baby back to Gabriel, as the baby let out a whimper from the loss of warmth. “He already loves you, Cas.” Gabriel chuckled. Castiel smiled and got up, looking out the window. ‘I am strong Dean, and I still love you. I will always love you. When I look at this baby, I will think of everything happy we did together. I will remember the love you gave to me.’
And as if Dean was there a breeze hit Cas’s back sending a chill through his body. Dean would always be with him. In his heart or in his mind.
Because true love is not normal or perfect, but it lasts forever and that is all that mattered to Cas.
