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A/N: I know I shouldn't be starting something else, forgive me. Can't help it. I've had this for a while and I couldn't bring myself to work on anything else while I lay up in bed. I was in a Sastiel mood for last two days. I did try to find something to read to get it out of my system, however, I was finding it hard to locate a Sastiel story. I mean one that didn't involve any other relationships, such as Cas or Sam with someone else too. Especially, Dean. A lot seem to have Destiel or Winchest, if it also had Sastiel in it. That isn't what I was looking for. With that said, I have a few things to add about this fic:
1. This is going to be a straight Sastiel fic, although Destiel will be implied but only in Sam's mind. There will be none of that in this fic (even if I also ship it, it won't be in this).
2. This fic will have a few things that may make one not wish to read it. These things include: a very gray Sam, dub-consent, violence, canon-divergence, and self-lubrication.
3. It diverts from Canon mostly after Season 14 (which still isn't really finished). Going with Michael was defeated (not going into detail I have no idea how they are going to do it, it hasn't happened yet and it really has NO bearing whatsoever on this fic). I have Bobby and Mary still alive, I am not bringing John into it although I have seen and read hints that he will be returning for some reason, once again because he, Mary, or Bobby won't have any bearing on this fic. Dean and Jack will make random appearances but the fic will not be centered on their characters.
4. SPOILER ALERT! I am keeping the fact that Castiel made a deal with The Empty to save Jack. That it will come for him when he allows himself to be truly happy more or less.
5. I will be playing with Sam a bit. (Don't I wish!) I've always been disappointed that after a certain point the entire situation with him being the boy with the demon blood kind of lost it's mojo! I kind of wish they would have explored more into that. Would be hard without making him evil but it lost a lot of it's potential IMO. So I'm just going to play with this plot bunny.
6. I don't get why there is a debate whether angel's have a soul or just grace in SPN. They have grace, not a soul. However (gonna debate here for a second), I got confused when The Empty spoke to Cas about how IT gets the angels and demons when they die. Okay, angels I get, if they have grace not a soul. Gotcha! But aren't demons human souls that went to hell because of sin and were tortured which made them demons? Demons don't have grace. So why would they go to the empty? Even if demons lose their human souls, they still aren't angels with grace. There lies my confusion.
7. There will also be a time skip after the first chapter, which is more of a prologue. Naturally, it will be meant to leave the reader with many questions.
8. Normal warnings: Angst, violence, language, slash, sexual content, oral sex, anal sex, rimming, somewhat dark and bitter Sam at times, and a lot of confusion.
Disclaimer: Don't own SPN or make any profit from this.
Warnings for this chapter: Language, Smut, and Mild Angst
Chapter One
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The damn response hadn’t been that funny! In all honesty there was nothing hilarious about Castiel’s comment that should warrant that kind of overrated response from his brother. The deep chuckle echoed throughout the dinky diner catching the attention of the waitress that had yet to bring their order. Over thirty minutes had gone by since they had informed her what they wanted to eat. What was the cook waiting for? Or was it a higher power at work? Something was keeping them from obtaining their meal, so they could eat and leave. Or it could be his brother’s difficult decision of combining two meals because he hadn’t been sure what he wanted? Because of how slow the staff worked, he was to sit here longer and be forced to examine the many feelings that were coiling deep in his gut. Sam had been drowning in happiness for the first few weeks after Dean’s return. They had all somehow managed to make it back home and he had his brother back. What they had been through, he knew he should feel nothing but gratitude and joy. Things were calm on the surface and the team was back together. Once more another tragedy averted, and they were returning to their reckless lifestyle.
This hunt was just the four of them, Bobby and their mother had stayed behind at the bunker. Sitting opposite of the pair, Sam was starting to wish he had also claimed to need the rest and stayed out of it. The three could handle the small cult without him. He didn’t like the feelings that made each second unbearable and he hated having to examine where the negative feelings were coming from. He recognized what several of them were. Having dated plenty in his life, Sam knew jealousy when it reared its green head. Just like he realized that what was causing it was the atmosphere between his brother and the angel. The forced laughter had his stomach knotting and it wasn’t because of the greasy food that was being deposited in front of him. It had everything to do with the budding relationship that was unfolding before him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Why Dean? After years of asking himself the same question over and over, this time the answer was pissing him off. Why Dean? When had it begun? It didn’t really have a beginning, it had always been there. Since the first day he had extended his hand towards an angel. The friendship had grown into more over the years. Grown to the point there was no denying what he felt and why it was fruitless to allow himself to entertain such emotions. Cas, the angel was so much more than a dear friend to him. Sitting across the table was someone he had ignorantly loved for years and someone he would never have. Not because Heaven would never allow it. Or because he wasn’t worthy. The reason he would never be anything more than a friend to the angel was the only person he would never be able to compete against.
There was no competing with Dean. Sam had long accepted the fact that deep down his brother was better. Smarter, braver, and completely worthy of Castiel. There was no point in comparing himself, not when the truth was as bold as the neon lights of the shitty café. Dean was so fucking perfect, he was the true vessel of the first archangel, while he was so tainted he was the true vessel of Lucifer. That alone demonstrated the difference in them. Sam wanted to be a good person, he didn’t want to be evil. He didn’t want to wallow in the anger and pity that was a constant weight in his soul. It was there, no matter what he tried to tell himself to erase it. Telling himself that there was a reason the two would one day end up together didn’t hinder the jealousy that was currently coursing through his veins.
Seeing Dean not-so-causally throw an arm around the back of the seat made him want to cross that table and remove it. It was a sly way of putting the arm around Castiel’s shoulder and the action wasn’t lost on him. Jack didn’t seem to notice the slight flirtations or the not-so-accidental touching between the two. His brother could just ask for the ketchup to be handed over, but instead leaned to reach for the condiment bottle. The movement made the arm slide down the cushion and to comfortably rest across Castiel’s relaxed frame. One normally used two hands to open a bottle, one did the trick, because Dean wasn’t going to move his arm now that it was where he had meant for it to be all along. He was the only one unnerved by the open display of affection.
“Sam?” Jack poked at the ooze dripping across the bun. Dean had suggested the mushroom swiss burger. Was it supposed to be this sloppy? The simple cheese burger that was in front of Sam looked much more appetizing. He opened his mouth to ask if they could swap meals, but the words got stuck on his tongue. His gaze went to the fist, “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” but he had no desire to eat. Sam didn’t wish to discuss what was bothering him, because he had no right. Not once had the angel given him a reason to hope for more. From the beginning, Dean had always been more special. It was fate that as soon as his brother got over his homophobia, the two would become a couple. If they weren’t already fucking. Their reactions during the last few weeks, Sam was positive things were heading that way if that bridge hadn’t already been crossed. It would explain the open caresses, the longing looks. One had to be blind or an innocent virgin, like Jack, to miss the signs. Dean was much more experienced and more capable of hiding his reactions. However, Sam knew what he saw every time he chanced a glance at the blue-eyed beauty. When Cas thought no one was paying attention, the angel was always deep in thought. The deep sighing, the longing in the gaze, and the blushing. Like that. The cheeks were turning pink from the intentional touching. Sam fought the urge to deliver a solid kick to the groin underneath the table. His boot would get his brother’s attention and would stop the flirting. There was no reason for Dean to be removing a non-existent piece of lint from Cas’s ear. It was done to elicit a reaction.
“What is the plan?” Jack lifted the top of the bun to examine the mess sitting on the meat. If he were to scrape off the sauce, it may be edible. They would be there in the morning and they had yet to discuss how to handle the case.
“We do what we were asked to do. We will examine the evidence and decide if it is the work of a cult. Could just be some nutjob getting his kicks.” Dean dipped two of the fries in the ketchup. He was starving and there was no real clue as to what they were heading into. The woman had called claiming to know of their reputation and that there had been a few murders. They would be given the rest of the case information when meeting up with the police officer.
“Would you care to exchange?” Castiel wouldn’t want the concoction that had been delivered on the plate either. It looked wet and as much as he loved hamburgers, he wouldn’t force himself to eat that. He could go without eating and Jack was looking at Sam’s plate.
“No, thank you.” Jack was going to try it. Dean was happily shoving the food in his mouth, it had to taste delicious despite the appearance. His actions mirrored the hunter and he took a bite. The combination was rather good if a little mushy.
“We can always get you something else, Jack.” Sam would offer his own, but his lack of eating would be remarked upon. He had to force himself to eat or be lectured. Not eating might be worth the few seconds it would force Cas to pay attention to him. These days it was all on his brother. Was it him or was the embarrassment due to Dean being too close? Would the two announce their relationship before long?
Heat. Castiel could feel it coming off of the thick body sharing the seat. What was the reason for the arm remaining at his back? The weight wasn’t annoying as much as it was confusing. At times he didn’t understand the behavior of the brothers, now was one of them. Dean was acting odd, peculiar even for him. Why had Sam chosen to sit down on the same side as Jack? Normally Sam would sit next to him, but not today. Did Dean always make a habit of draping his arm? It was making him uncomfortable. Moving away may be taken the wrong way. He didn’t wish for Dean to think that he didn’t want to sit next to him. What he didn’t want was the light caressing at his nape. The touch made him wish to stand and move away. “You should eat, Sam.”
And they should get a damn room. Sam winced at the thought, because they would be doing just that in an hour. They had already paid for two rooms across the highway. After they ate, they would be retiring for the night. Jack would be sharing the room with him, while the two would be together. Due to the fawning, he knew what would be taking place in the swanky motel. Dean’s interest was clear, and his brother wasn’t the type to play around. They would be fucking moments after entering the room. While Jack explored the wonders of cable television, his brother would have Cas on his knees. “I’m not that hungry. I actually need some air, excuse me.”
A light mist was in the air, rain was coming in. He didn’t want to head back inside. The echoing boom in the distance meant a thunderstorm in the next hour. Sam could see inside through the dirty glass. The three remained seated at the table minutes after he stepped out. Castiel remained snuggled in the folds of Dean’s arm. A few inches to the left and they could exchange meals orally. What kind of hypocrite would he be to walk in there and demand to know what made his brother so special? Never before had he considered what it would be like to have a sexual relationship with another male. He still didn’t find much appeal in pursuing sex with a man. It had nothing to do with being male or female, it had everything to do with it being Castiel. It wasn’t the body or vessel that Castiel was inside. It was the soul, the personality, and the heart. Grace or soul, what to call it made no difference. It was the man he wanted to be with. It was Cas, the angel, that he was in love with.
If he weren’t concerned about the feelings of others, he would disregard the bond between the two and pursue what he wanted. If Dean were anyone but his brother, he’d take what he wanted. Brother or no, it was tempting to start showing his own line of affection. He hated Dean’s idea of courting. The coy flirting wasn’t what Cas deserved. He deserved someone that would openly show their love. Dammit, what Cas deserved wasn’t what Cas wanted it seemed. The smile lit up the face, the adoration turning the features soft. The smile wasn’t for him.
What they felt for each other was out in the open. Cas would openly admit that his relationship with Dean was unique; special. The two shared a bond. It was that connection that had the love shining in the deep blue eyes. Something Dean was doing unseen had the heat rising in the cheeks and the lush mouth opening. Was that a kiss? It was impossible to tell from where Sam stood. The two heads tilted and came together. They were sharing secrets or swapping a quick kiss while he was outside.
“His heart is fickle.”
“What?” Sam turned to the voice, almost certain that Jack had somehow managed to sneak out to check on him. Not the Nephilim, the confused look was on the boyish face at whatever was occurring between the couple inside. Not Jack, someone to his left had spoken, the aroma of garlic and dirt on the breath. A young male, very similar in appearance to Jack. Five-ten, dirty blonde hair, feminine features, that made him a pretty-boy, and full lips. “What did you say?”
“I said, his heart is fickle.” A mortal’s heart was barely worth understanding. One could spend centuries trying to discover what made them do the foolish things they did. Or why it was so easy for their emotions to be manipulated and how their hearts could change on a whim. The one inside was just one example of why these mortals needed guidance. However, she didn’t care about the one hunter or much for the angel at his side. “How many has he loved? Out of everyone he has chosen to seduce, why suddenly decide that he wants that one?”
“Don’t refer to him as that one.” ‘That one’ signified someone of unimportance, Cas was far from that rank. Sam would have classified the young boy as adorable, if not for the eyes. The orbs were an odd red, and almost orange in pigment. A demon. He felt nothing short of disgust at the bright pink garments and multiple piercings. Who the hell was this? And what did he think he knew about his brother? “Who are you and what do you know?”
“I see into his soul, his heart, and I know what brings you out here, Sam Winchester.” It was the pain that had called to her. It was the intense desire resonating from the tainted soul that shone like a beacon. “Forgive me, you may call me Isadore. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
“I’m not shaking your damn hand.” Sam wasn’t that much of a fool. This was a demon in a human skin. The hint of sulfur was on the air. How quickly he had appeared suggested to a sort of teleportation being used. A powerful one. What did it want from him? To show itself, it wasn’t out for an evening stroll. “And that doesn’t answer my question. What are you and what are you doing here?”
“I am here because you reek of pain and longing, I could smell your anguish.” Isadore had been waiting for an opportunity like this for ages. Waiting patiently for centuries for the right one to come along. Thousands had presented the same level of desperation; all for the emotion called love. So many that would do anything for the one they labeled with the word. Coming upon this one, the chances; fate had delivered the perfect specimen. All this time, her patience was going to finally pay off. “Look at them, see how he touches him.”
He didn’t need someone else pointing it out. Okay, so it was here to help torture him. Sam moved closer towards the supplied cigarette bin, he may need something to swing in a moment. Was it here to discuss his brother’s relationship or did it have business with him? Whatever it was, it had a purpose. Inside, none seemed concerned that he had yet to return to finish the meal or was standing out in the weather. Jack was too naïve to realize that his missing was due to his unfound jealousy. Cas probably didn’t realize it either, yet it was possible that Dean would soon realize what was causing his behavior. “What is your point?”
Isadore swam in merriment having the handsome face turn at the suggestion of checking it out. “Note the tenderness in your brother’s actions. How his eyes light up when your angel laughs or smiles. The possessive gesture as the arm continues to crowd. Not really holding, but a way to remind the other that he is there physically as well as emotionally. The adoration in those blue eyes is almost sickening. Wait, it is sickening to see. Oh, but with the memory that just flashed through their minds. Someone has been a naughty little angel. This Castiel is obsessed with your brother’s mouth. Is thinking how that mouth had made him weak in the knees earlier. A kiss that had his stomach tightening in lust. He seems genuinely confused over this, as to why Dean Winchester’s touch can make him feel on fire. These strange urges are new to him and he is positive that what he feels is known to you humans as being in love.”
“Would you shut up!” Sam stormed away from the café and the stranger that was informing him of the reason Cas was indeed watching Dean’s face with such an intense look. To know what was going through the angel’s mind, it hurt. He didn’t need it spelled out to know that another had fallen in love with Dean. “What, you’re some kind of monster that thrives on annoying humans?”
“A cambion, actually.” Not really. The details of her creation didn’t need to be shared. Her origins weren’t important. What was important was that the words had caused the man’s heart to ache, his soul to darken with negative emotions. Isadore was thrilled that Sam Winchester wasn’t the type to confront his problems when it meant dealing with the one he was in love with. Instead of rushing inside to declare that the angel was his, the moron would wallow in his pain and let his brother have it all. It made things easier; that form of self-sacrifice. If her prey were to take a chance, he would learn that every word just spoken was a lie. In truth, the angel was not enjoying the attention. When the eldest had leaned forward, Castiel had been thinking of the youngest. The confused mind comparing their mouths, finding the one so close lacking in comparison. Only one of the two was considering crossing boundaries; Castiel. However, those thoughts were straying to the one she was going to use.
Perfect. What he wasn’t equipped to deal with. Sam hadn’t a clue what one of the demonic offspring would want with him. Hell, they still didn’t know much of their kind. Not counting Jesse Turner, the one meant to be the Anti-Christ. It would explain the strange feeling from being around the young man. What would a hybrid want from him? Or was it here to simply state things to see what it would take to make him cry? Also, over fifteen minutes had gone by and no one had come out to check on him or why he hadn’t returned. By now at least Dean would have stepped outside to see when he was coming back.
“You aren’t in their thoughts at the moment. We need to speak before they realize that you have yet to return.” Isadore didn’t want any of them to step outside. Not until Sam and she had come to an agreement. There was something to be had from this meeting. “The little Nephilim thought of you for a moment, but I quickly turned his attention back to his meal. As for your angel, you are the furthest thing from his mind. That is because he is not your angel, he is your brother’s. Dean plans on making if official in their room tonight. He wants to experiment and test how tight an angel’s virginal ass really is.”
And? Sam contemplated if he’d be able to land a successful hit. “So. I’m already aware that my brother loves to have sex and seeing as he’s into Cas, do you expect me to be shocked that he plans on fucking him? I’d be more stunned if you told me Dean plans to wait for marriage. If you have nothing interesting to discuss, I’ll be going back inside.”
“What if I told you that I can give you what you want?” Isadore knew how to get what she wanted. “Not permanently, of course. But what if I could give you what you want? You were thinking what you wouldn’t give to have just one night with him.”
One night with Castiel? Sam wanted exactly that. Seeing the two inside, getting comfy and affectionate, it was true. He’d already experienced what it was like to pull the angel into an embrace. He knew what it was like to have the man in his arms, but he wanted more. He had been the first to hug Cas, but he wanted more than that. Sam wanted to be the one to lay him down and experiment with the pleasures of anal sex. Just one night with Castiel, it was something that would never happen. “One night with Cas, what is the catch?”
“Yes, one night.” Isadore knew how to sweeten the deal to get Sam to agree to the final deal when it was time. “One night with him. No interruptions from your brother or any outside force. Just you and he in a room. No time lost on talk of cases. A single night of passion between you two. All I ask for in return is something really small, something simple, and you should have no problem agreeing to it. During your night together, you will partake in his blood. I know most of your fantasies have focused on your being tender with him. I don’t care how you spend the evening, as long as you take a few moments and claim him properly by biting him.”
“Are you kidding?” What kind of favor was that? Sam gawked, taken aback. Why ask that of him? Why have him bite Cas? He wasn’t a vampire, and nothing would come of it. Nothing except he’d taste the blood of the angel in his mouth. Or was it to leave a scar? “You’d give me one night with him and all I’d have to do is bite him during sex? Why? What do you get out of it? What do you gain?”
“Me, I will gain nothing from it. It is just a simple favor, you don’t have to do it. However, you of all people should know about deals.” Isadore decided to play her trump card at the hesitation. He would offer the one thing Sam wouldn’t be able to say no to. “Did I mention that he would know that it was you? Even if he is an angel, I have the ability to distort reality to a certain extent. He will not remember anything about your night together. However, for the entire night, Castiel will be in love with you. You want to know what it is like to have what your brother has, the love of Castiel. Until dawn arises, you will have his heart. You will know what it means to have him adore you. It will be your touch, your body, and your love he will crave. And all you have to do in return is mark him.”
A night with Cas? An entire evening of being able to hold and openly show the angel how he felt. To touch, stroke, and give his heart without holding back. As much as he wanted it, Sam knew he couldn’t bring himself to do anything that would have a negative effect on them. He didn’t want Cas hurt, or Dean. “If I agree, then you have to guarantee that Castiel won’t be harmed in any way. You don’t use this to hurt him or my brother. Also, he nor the others can know about it.”
“Deal. No one will be harmed from the deal. Dean and Jack will not be aware of what is taking place. When dawn rises, Castiel will lose all memories of the night as well. You get to experience the love of Castiel for one night and in return, you only need to nibble on him a bit. Now, what is your answer?”
A night of knowing Cas’s love. Sam couldn’t pass it up. Making deals, it was stupid, he knew it was. There was always some kind of catch to these things. Weren’t his bases covered? Cas or Dean wouldn’t be harmed due to the night and they would never know of it. The only one that would end up hurt in the end was him, nothing new. The price was a bit of blood, he could do that. It would be painful to know that the two would be together afterwards, but if he could just have one night. He knew the answer and from that smile, so did Isadore. “Yes, I agree to it.”
“Then we have a deal,” Isadore didn’t need to shake any hands. The verbal agreement was enough to seal the deal. Sam Winchester had just walked into her trap. Anything to be with the angel. Ironically, all it would take would be for the hunter to approach the other to get what he wanted, but Sam’s guilt was keeping him from pursuing what he wanted most. “Tonight, he will come to you. Remember my words and make the most of your time together.”
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It was already past nine o’clock and Sam found himself alone in the room. Was it the demon’s interference that had Jack asking Dean if they could share a room together? The talk at the end of dinner had been on a wrestling match to be broadcasted on pay-per-view. It had worried him when Dean had convinced Cas to check out the match. Sam had taken the second room hoping the deal would go through. Begging a migraine, he had snatched up the keycard and walked down the hall.
How much longer? When would Cas come to him? Was he anxious? Yes, he was. He didn’t want to waste any time once it began. He had stripped down to wait it out. How was he to experience what it meant to be loved by his sweet angel? Would it be anything like he imagined? Laying in the dark with the television on to appear to be relaxing, he was agonizing over each second. Until the door opened, and the deal began. It was Cas, and no one else.
“Sam,” Castiel let the click echo in the room. The nerves in his stomach oddly didn’t prevent him from stepping further into the motel room. The wrestling match hadn’t been interesting enough to keep his attention and he had left Jack to enjoy watching with Dean. He had lied by saying that he was going to take the room with Sam to get some rest. The compulsion to go forward was too strong to ignore. There was no confusion as to the why he wanted to, just the cause behind finally wishing to give into the strange and unknown desires. Would the younger Winchester understand and be receptive to the urges that were the driving force behind his arrival? He wasn’t completely ignorant of the physical pleasures that went on between humans, that led to procreating. What he knew of two men wouldn’t fill a thimble. His vessel was male, as well as Sam.
Indulging in a physical relationship was possible, he just wasn’t one-hundred percent certain if it was possible with Sam. The two hunters were keen on the softer sex. Dean wouldn’t be the kind to entertain a relationship with another male. However, the one that had his heart was different. Months of examining the change in his feelings, the difference between what he felt for each. One was family, a son. The other family but akin to a best friend, a brother. That left the reason his emotions were in turmoil. By now he was already too attached, too involved with the Winchesters. His loyalty was to his family, above all else. The truth of his concerns was there for any to see, if they cared to look. There was one that took priority above anyone else in his existence. As much as he tried not to show favoritism or to let it affect his decisions. He was in love with Sam. Although he couldn’t find a way to voice what he felt, he wanted to spend time alone with him tonight.
This was it, what he had been promised. Sam saw the hesitation and uncertainty of what was to happen. This was new to Cas. Normally, he would court and woo his potential partner, there was no time tonight. He didn’t want to waste hours talking. Every minute spent in the angel’s arms was a minute he meant to take advantage of, all to cherish the memories. Just one night to keep him content for the remainder of his life. The deal was that he’d get what he wanted, “Strip and join me in bed.”
Strip? Castiel found his hands moving to obey. The coat was dropped to the stained carpet. The remainder of the clothing was discarded in under a minute. The need to undress and climb onto the mattress was a song, the words resonating in his mind. Sam, it was Sam. That was all he could contemplate as the flesh became bare for appraisal. For the last few weeks all he could think about was how it was foolish to wish for more when it came to the hunter. Admitting to how he felt would destroy their friendship. He also knew that Dean would not be accepting of his sexual interest. While his heart belonged to the boy with the demon blood, he found himself craving things of a sexual nature as well. Finding himself watching and admiring Sam’s mouth. The strong lips, the pink tongue, and the hands. He was damned, how he adored the large hands. Just the simple appendages that he was blessed to see on a regular basis caused the new and now-familiar sensations to stir. He fancied the little things. He was lost when it came to Sam’s soul. He admired him for his strength, his wisdom, and his compassion. What he loved was Sam’s vulnerable side. “Are you sure, Sam?”
“Positive, come here.” Sam yanked the covers aside to indicate the spot. Without a doubt, Cas was coming to him. He’d seen glimpses here and there of the body that the angel occupied. It was stunning, and it would be a lie to say seeing the naked form coming towards the bed didn’t arouse him. Just being alone had his lower extremities tightening in awareness. After tonight, things would go back to normal. It was wrong, it wasn’t something he should consider doing to the one he loved. Most importantly, Sam knew he was being selfish. It was, doing this was wrong to Cas. As much as it made Sam hate himself, he found that the little voice was winning. Why shouldn’t he take this? After all he had done for others, done for Dean, why not take something for himself? Why not accept this one opportunity to know the love of another? It wasn’t real, he knew it. Whatever emotions had brought the beautiful man to his door wasn’t real. At dawn it would all end. He would return to being just a friend and having the warm body lay to press against his own, Sam couldn’t find the dignity to tell him to leave. He was going to take this and find some way to live with the guilt. “Can I touch you?”
“Yes,” he’d like that. Castiel felt the blood and heat rush lower as he answered. Sam’s response was to carelessly toss the television device onto the floor and turn towards him. The large palm cupped his nape, pulling his head forward. A part of him realized that Sam was coming in for a kiss, it didn’t prepare him for the result. The mouth glided across his own, urgent and demanding, yet soft and gentle. He wasn’t in control of it. The tongue pried his lips apart to gain access.
Sweet and hot, just like his beloved angel. Sam indulged longer, coaxing the thick tongue to play. Having the mouth respond did more for his arousal than any of his past experiences. Every drop of blood went south to fill the engorged length, leaving his heart racing. This was a good start. Beyond the timid ministrations, each pass was being met without fail. Unable to keep his hands to himself, he placed his hand on the waist.
Castiel found himself going back and ended up with Sam partially over him. Fingers were making short work of any reservation, exploring his chest. Light touches travelled the area above his navel. Not far from his erection and the proof that he was more than curious. His body was eager for the attention and reveled in the fact that it was Sam doing the touching. Instead of going lower to where he ached, the fingertips went north to find something else to play with.
The mewling noise was cute. Sam broke the kiss to let the sounds escape freely. The nipple budded, peaking with just a flicker. Wanting to give the max amount of pleasure during their first of many experiences of the night, he lowered his head. A chaste kiss was placed on the nipple to test the waters. This would not be a quick session.
That was nice. Castiel already knew that he enjoyed having the area seen to. However, Sam’s mouth was hotter, rougher, and the sucking had his back arching. The lips were tugging, teeth scraping the bud. There was no pain, only a way of strumming the invisible cord that seemed to lead directly to his groin. Leaving both thoroughly wet and pebbled, the mouth began a trail down his stomach. Finally, back to his navel and the top of the scant trail of hair. Was this the point where they got intimate? How did two men go through the act of having sex? Was it simply touching? Or was there more it?
“You’re perfect.” Sam ignored the stench of foot that got stronger as the heater kicked on. The temperature was still chilly in the room, but that didn’t prevent him from leaving the discarded blanket where it had landed. “Lay back and don’t move.”
It was a demand. Castiel shivered, the tone did things to him. He found he couldn’t wait to obey and in his haste his crown smacked the back of the headboard. Sam was in the process of moving further down the mattress. Instead of jumping on top and doing the deed, he was left to lean back and wait. Being inexperienced, he had no idea what he should be doing, so he chose to continue doing as he’d been instructed.
Sam wanted to taste all of him. He started by getting settled between the legs and placing his palms on the knees. It was beautiful, a sight he would never forget. Cas naked and waiting for him. What he wanted was to remove the resistance and discover what the inside would be like. He opted to start at the bottom and work his way up. Both feet were lifted and placed flat against his chest. It gave time to run his palms along the sculptured calves. The hair was soft, and his gaze fell to the feet. Beautiful feet, they were as perfect as the rest of him.
What was Sam doing? Castiel’s mouth went dry with each loving kiss being placed on the top of his feet. The right was lifted with a hand, the lips tenderly placing feather-light touches near the instep. His leg twitched when it went to the toes. The affection was erotic, and he gasped as the wet heat went around the biggest digit. Sam was sucking on his toe, licking each before starting to suckle. It was the farthest area from his member, “Ah, Sam.”
That meant he was doing it right. Sam ignored the plea to continue, moving to the other foot. It had been a risk, some didn’t like having their feet touched. The cock was twitching without being teased with each swipe of his tongue. Would Cas be receptive to being tickled during sex? It was too soon, but a thought for later. It was interesting to see how worked up the angel was getting. He knew what he wanted, but he wanted to put the decision in Cas’s hands. “What do you want me to do?”
End the torment. Cas was close to moving lewdly on the mattress to relieve some of the tension. The hardness was there, forgotten. He didn’t want to be touched there, not yet. He wanted Sam to touch him elsewhere, lower down. The mouth was doing wonders on something as simple as his toes. What kind of pleasure could he receive if the mouth were to touch him elsewhere? Sam was asking what he wanted and the first thing that came to mind was what slipped from his lips. “Use your mouth down there.”
Down there? Sam had a good idea where down there was. A kiss was placed on the heel then the ankle. His hands discovered the back of the thighs, caressing the skin. He wanted a more direct answer, he wanted Cas to be more precise in his instructions. “Here? Is this where you want my mouth?”
Not there. The stroking was comforting, not what he was longing for. The thumbs were rubbing closer but never quite making it. A negative shake was enough to further the exploration. Almost there, how he longed to let his knees fall apart and expose himself to the gaze. It was wanton behavior and with his legs closed, the finger pads couldn’t really reach it. The crack was pried apart, “There. Lick me there.”
“Open for me,” the thighs had to give him room. Sam aided in getting the knees parted and up. There was slight amount of hair scattered where leg met cheek. The rest of the curve was free of any hair. Spreading the globes to expose the hidden treasure was the turning point. Teasing became a double-edged blade. This was something he knew how to do. Fingers went to his hair before his mouth could make complete contact with the flesh. Cas had asked to be given the pleasure of his mouth and he wouldn’t disappoint.
It was possibly blasphemy to crave the dirty act of having the hunter place his tongue along the opening. Crave it he did. Castiel was in knots as each second had the not so chaste kissing making a spit covered path towards the area. By the time it touched the outskirts, his fingers had found a tight grip in the mass of hair. The ring clenched in anticipation and the first touch was heaven. The lick a testament to what was to come. Another three, then four, and his limbs began to shake. Over and over, the opening was receiving the bathing. The wiggling managed to push through, “Sam.”
The inside was soft and wet. Sam lapped vigorously at the slick oozing and over his tongue. It tasted faintly of salt and caramel, a combination he hadn’t thought to find. Nor was the moisture that increased as he speared the hole repeatedly. If he was meant to fuck the angel, would the demon be considerate enough to make the union easier? Or was it for another reason? Had causing the false need also made Cas more receptive to being a bottom? He wanted to test it out. His tongue was replaced by a finger, the digit wiggling inside. Tight, so tight the angel bucked upwards from just one finger. Prepping would take a few moments to do properly.
Yes, that was good. Castiel rocked into the probing. The intrusion was odd but not uncomfortable or unpleasant. Once the second was added, he found the reason for the need. Having his inner wall stretched was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. Better than experiencing what it felt like to insert his own erection inside someone. This was much more enjoyable and stimulating. Fingers felt good, having a man had to be better. That was what he wanted, to have Sam take him. To feel the hunter’s cock moving inside the passage. How many times must he indicate what he wanted? A third was pushed in, scissoring and rotating. He wanted to swear at being denied. “Please, Sam.”
Please wasn’t enough. Sam didn’t think Cas truly understood what he was in for. Removing the fingers, he sat up to get in position. Foolishly, his angel wasn’t paying attention, lost in the throes of pleasure. The entire time he had made sure to stay away from the spot. He didn’t want to use it to get Cas off until his cock was in. The first orgasm would be accomplished without the use of anything but internal stimulation. Moving forward, he climbed over the heaving chest. Cas wasn’t looking, so he stressed the need for consent by grabbing a hand. “Are you sure? Is this what you want?”
It was. Castiel nodded as his hand was guided between them. Not to touch himself, but his fingers laced around Sam. Hard as steel, as thick as his wrist, and there was no end to it. Somewhere between ten and eleven, from tip to base. Up and down, the stroking was giving him a good impression of what it might be like to accept the impressive manhood. There would be a lot to take and the reason Sam had brought up fearing causing him pain. It may cause some pain, but it didn’t sway his determination. Why the delay?
Sam teased them both, directing the head to the pucker and rubbing. He would be pushing in very soon, but he wanted Cas to have no doubts. There was no changing of minds once he popped through. The moment it began, there was no ending. Not until he had the angel shaking and screaming beneath him. It took all the love he felt not to take what he wanted without considering the consequences. “I can’t go back, Cas. Not after. Yes or no?”
“Yes. Yes, as much as you need me to say it. Yes.” As long as it gave him Sam. Whatever gained him the hunter. Castiel let go to drape his arms around the broad shoulders needing to feel close. Both feet were raised to lace the waist. The dark head nodded, and the palm pressed against his mouth. The action was confusing until the pressure returned and the sting did indeed make him scream into the hand. Having the round tip make it through was painful. Not near enough to call a stop. Thick and unrelenting, the shaft invaded the virginal hole. The three fingers hadn’t been preparation enough for what his new lover had to offer.
Deeper, it took using added force to get the head fully seated. Sam savored the searing heat and tightness. He was the first to sample the angel, even if he wouldn’t be the last. Isadore had been right, he had been denying himself. All because he didn’t think himself worthy of someone so beautiful. Worthy or not, he would take what he wanted. What he wanted was beneath him, eager to become his. Without easing out, another inch was pushed.
More. Castiel wanted a lot more. The more he was given, the better it felt. The burning accompanied the stretching. Just when he believed that the stretching alone made their coming together perfect, Sam began to move. Slowly pulling out, almost leaving his body. The next thrust sank twice as much inside, leaving him gasping in wonder. Smooth, the strokes working in and out steadily to keep the friction going. Each pass giving him just a fraction more of the hardness. He’d gauge at a little before four inches was buried, the world exploded. The sharp spike of pleasure so unexpected, it had to be a fluke. The next didn’t go as deep making him anxious for an attempted repeat. He wanted to feel it again, “Please, I’m begging you.”
For this? Sam came undone at the loud scream. He removed his hand, no longer caring if the neighbors thought him to be assaulting his company. Just enough to get his head to rub against the area. The penetration enough to apply some pressure to the prostate. So tight and hot, he gave Cas what he wanted in order to please himself. Pumping his hips, going deeper once he felt it was safe. More than half had them both panting and frantic. “Fuck, you belong on my cock.”
Not just his cock, he belonged to Sam. Castiel voiced his agreement by rocking into the hips. The only words were garbled, and half formed pleas. All he could focus on was the constant and deliberate strikes that had his lower half swimming through wave after wave of…. it was better than pleasure. Like finally coming alive to know what someone was capable of making him feel. Should it concern him that all four limbs had taken to shaking uncontrollably? It was becoming too much, something had to give, or he was going to expire.
Nails clawed at his back, raking downwards repeatedly. Each time he snapped and gave all Cas could take, the scratching went from shoulder to waist. So hot, the bottom was lifting to meet him. This was no longer about making sure they could enjoy the deed. That question had been answered. His pride swelled along with his already stiff prick. His blood was hot, singing with the need to possess and claim the angel. Magic, it crept along his skin, entering every nerve.
“Sam!” Castiel’s conscious demanded that he try to warn Sam. He couldn’t stop it. Warmth surrounded him, his being stuck in a state of bliss. The pain in his shoulder dulled and he barely realized what it meant. The mouth was on his flesh, teeth bearing down, driving into him with the same fierceness as the thrusting cock. The magic, it was coming from his abdomen. Not only affecting him, it was spreading to his lover. Why? The world crashed and the tension broke. The shaking grew worse, and his head was thrown back as it struck. The orgasm too much, the release escaping.
Amazing. Sam savored the pleasure of both sins. The skin broke under the pressure of his teeth, the coppery fluid oozing across his tongue. Sam let Cas have it first, holding off until the shaking began to ebb down before letting go. The creamy substance stuck his stomach and chest, as the wetness leaked from his own cock. The clenching pulling out his last drop, completing their first time together.
“Sam!” Castiel panicked through the aftermath. Being held only intensified the panic. Something was happening, he could feel it. As the minutes ticked, the magic settled in the room and he feared what it meant.
“What is it?” Sam removed his weight hearing the panic. What was wrong? Had he done something to upset Cas? They had both agreed to it. Or was the aftermath reminding the angel that doing this meant being unfaithful to Dean? Dawn wasn’t here, his time wasn’t up. “Cas?”
Sam! Castiel twitched and his muscles ceased moving. He couldn’t speak, his warning lost in the fear. What had been done? They were no longer alone in the room. What were the chances of Dean or the others realizing that something was amiss? Sam reached for him instead of running.
“Oops, I fear your time is up.” Isadore hated to interrupt such a touching moment, but their time was done. She had felt it, which meant others would have too. If she was to get what she wanted, then she had to make sure Sam Winchester survived. “I am so sorry, I didn’t realize that your little angel was that powerful.”
“What did you do? You promised you wouldn’t harm him. Let him go,” Sam could see the chest rising and falling, Cas was awake and aware. Was he paralyzed? Why? This wasn’t part of the deal. “This wasn’t part of the deal, I had until dawn. You weren’t supposed to show until my time was up.”
“True, but I didn’t expect you to fulfill your part of the bargain so soon. I figured you’d leave it for the last moment.” Isadore increased the hold keeping the winged shit still. How could Sam be so blind, it worked in his favor, but not being able to see was blind. The angel was trying to fight the hold, sheer terror working at the restraint.
“Why does that matter? We never agreed that it would be over when I fulfilled it. You owe me several more hours with him.” Sam wanted her to leave, but would it matter? Things were ruined now. “You just ruined it. He has seen you and my time is lost. That wasn’t part of it, you went back on your word. You broke our deal.”
“Because I have no choice,” Isadore regretted that, but her time was almost up. She had wanted to give him the entire night, she owed him that much. Sam was about to become someone very important to her. “The deal is intact, Sam. The moment you bit down and took his blood inside. You are the one we have been waiting for, the one to save us. Silence, Castiel! He has already made the deal and it is done. Sam didn’t think twice about my offer.”
This couldn’t be happening to them. What deal? What could Sam gain from aiding the abomination? Castiel could feel the hold weakening, and not on purpose. What had Sam agreed to? For what? Did the hunter not realize who had joined them in the dirty room? How could Heaven not feel the presence of the traitor?
“You know each other?” Sam didn’t get it. Cas seemed shocked at the appearance, but the recognition was there. They knew each other? How? Demons didn’t make the habit of getting friendly with angels. Getting up, he stood from the bed. The aftermath of their time together clinging to his skin.
“Yes, we do. As I told you, I am Isadore. Sadly, you were under the mistaken impression that I am a demon. I am actually just like your lover, mostly. I was once a Seraph, one that abandoned Heaven for something better. During my time away from home, I gained knowledge on how to remain hidden from our peers.” Isadore didn’t wish to be hated, not by the dark human. “If Castiel could speak, he would explain the reason you mistook me for a demon is because I once dwelled in hell. Like many others I was released years ago. Condemned because I spoke out against Lucifer’s punishment. And what I want, you are already giving me.”
“I’m not giving you anything.” He wasn’t letting an angel possess him. Never again. He hadn’t agreed to that, he hadn’t agreed to anything. Sam had never heard of an angel by the name and couldn’t recall agreeing to anything. “Whatever it is you think you are getting, forget it.”
“My dear Sammy, you have already given us what we need.” Isadore beamed feeling the connection to the already blossoming magic strengthening nearby. “You really should be more careful when you agree to something. When our deal was struck, your fate was decided. When you said yes, it began. They have been keeping secrets from you. Haven’t you, Castiel? He didn’t tell you of the little seal that was placed in your blood when you were drug from the cage. Even if you gave into the temptation of consuming demon blood, your potential would never fully be reached. The final way of controlling you. However, all it takes is a bit of blood from his kind to pollute the seal. His blood is already destroying the seal, I shall have what I want. The power shall grow and flourish inside you.”
“No,” Sam shook his head in denial. It wasn’t possible. Cas was still his friend, he wouldn’t have done that. He didn’t need to be controlled, he was in control. He didn’t need to be sealed or have his power suppressed. Cas wouldn’t have kept something like that from him. “I don’t care, I never agreed to that. Whatever you think is going to happen, it won’t. I didn’t agree to anything else.”
“You didn’t disagree either. Your only stipulation was that I didn’t hurt anyone you care about. That and I am to make him forget once dawn rose. Which he will forget, that is done. When he wakes in a few hours, he will not recall anything. He will believe he came into the room to sleep and you were never here. With the seal gone, your power will grow. With it being suppressed for so long, it will be like a damn breaking. You will soon be more demon than human. He didn’t love you before, do you really believe he could come to care for you now?” Isadore wouldn’t be denied, the spell had been cast the instant Castiel had begun to orgasm and gave his blood to the hunter. “We need a ruler, we need someone to lead us. Don’t you see that I am offering you more than you asked for, Sam?”
“How? By changing me? You are getting what you want. I don’t want to become even more of a freak. I don’t want this.” Sam couldn’t argue that keeping Cas from moving wasn’t the same as physically injuring someone. The look was pained and pissed, but there was no wound. He should have been more specific in his details. He was glad that the angel wouldn’t remember any of this. The disappointment would be too much too bear.
“You wanted a chance with him, I have given it. Without my interference where would he be? He’d be in that room about to spend the night with your brother.” Isadore didn’t like being forced to lie and manipulate to get her way, but Sam had to be willing to take his rightful place. “I didn’t go into details of the consequences of getting what you want but think of it. How long before you are forced to watch him lavish the love that you so crave upon your brother? After having him, will you honestly be able to see them together? You know as well as I, that tonight was the end of it. As much as you love your family, deep down you know you will be leaving. What I have just given you is a purpose. My grace may have altered you slightly in order to give you a new life, but what else is there? What keeps you here? You will have to walk away from him, but you will leave with a gift.”
“A gift? You mean a curse, don’t you?” Castiel snapped his jaw at the pull. Sam’s involvement aside, which he’d deal with later, he wouldn’t allow Isadore to use Sam. What she’d said, it was all wrong. The deal would explain the pull to come to the room and act upon his desires, but they weren’t the root of them. What he felt for Sam was his own feelings, not something implanted by Isadore. “That is why you showed up immediately. I felt it, so did they. Whatever you did to him, I felt the contamination. You didn’t just break the seal, you’re enhancing his blood. You would condemn him to death, I won’t allow it.”
“Posh,” Isadore waved aside the concerns. “Sam, don’t listen to him. He is correct about them realizing that the seal was broken. Let us make a new deal Sam, actually an understanding. I am going to leave this vessel, because you agreed to my assistance. So until dawn, you are receptive to me. Within the hour, I will cease to exist as I am. To fulfill my end of the deal, I will commit the greatest crime our kind can commit. I will remove my own grace and use it to charge the demonic blood that resides in your veins. There is no stopping it. It has been done, you will soon be blessed with the pinnacle of your power. I have arranged it that when I go, you will become what we need. Only you are acceptable of replacing our Lord.”
“Sam, don’t.” Castiel warned him. It wasn’t that simple. It was true, he could tell that Isadore was losing more of her grace and it was going to Sam. Why would the Seraph destroy herself? If Sam did agree then Isadore would truly die. “I can get rid of it and reinstate the seal. They will not let it happen. She is a traitor and they will hunt you. Don’t let her use you.”
“He is being honest.” All of it. Isadore wouldn’t deny that she was using him. All for a chance at stability, a real leader. “Once I’m gone, he could destroy what I have given you. Others will no doubt try to do the same. Before you decide, remember the reason you agreed to my deal. What you wanted. I can’t make his love remain once I am gone. The moment this ends, so does the way he feels. He is only here now because of my doing, he will never want you. You will never have him, but I have given you a chance to be more than a puppet. Will you let Dean have everything and allow yourself nothing? Or do I erase this entire night for both of you?”
“Don’t listen to that, it isn’t true.” Castiel whimpered seeing the pain cross the features. How could Sam believe that? Dean had nothing to do with what happened between them. It had happened because Sam was special to him. “I want you, Sam. I came tonight to be with you, she had nothing to do with it. What I feel will still be here after she is gone. She can’t manipulate my feelings, she can’t. What I feel for you is real. Look at me, look at me.”
Sam did and what he saw was like a sword to the heart. The moisture crowded his eyes making his vision blur. What he saw was what he had been longing to see for months, if not years. There was no shielding the raw emotions on display for him to see. Love, love so deep it was heartbreaking. In all the times they had spoken, and Cas had made to tell him that he cared, not once had it been close to the depth of what he was witnessing. It was a reflection of what he felt in his own soul, the intensity of his own love. For a night, he was to know Castiel’s love. It was enough, Isadore had given him this. To have that gaze look upon him that way, if just the once, it was what he had wanted. He’d gotten to be with the angel and was the object of that devotion, even if it was a lie. It was something to take with him to the end. “I’ll do it.”
“You can’t. I’m begging you,” Castiel didn’t want to lose him, not like this. Sam would become hunted and be labeled the enemy. The tears came, he wouldn’t let Sam die for this. “You don’t have to do this. She’s wrong, you don’t have to accept what she is offering to have me. I love you, Sam.”
“No, you don’t. What you feel isn’t real.” Sam sobbed at openly speaking the truth. Cas was feeling what he felt, nothing more. This wasn’t meant to happen, and he was going to pay the price for it. Isadore had given him his night and in return, he would give the thing what it wanted. He wouldn’t stop anything. Not if it meant losing this night. It would most likely be his downfall in the end, but that was payment. It was done. “I was being selfish, and I will pay the cost. You will not remember this, and you will forget about me. I’m going to let you go, because I love you.”
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Yay! I know lots of questions. Like who Isadore really is and what exactly will happen to Sam? Will Cas remember? I thought of the concept of heaven possibly putting a seal on Sam to be very intriquing. He wasn't slurping down demonic blood that long and was already bad-ass. Would loved to have seen him be allowed take it further. Maybe I'm creepy that way.
Next chapter: Dean has visitors and Sam considers his options. Please comment for me! If any follow me, you know that I am currently on medical leave from work due to my upcoming surgery. I do have some free time due to this, whenever I feel well enough to write. I would like any feedback, so I know whether or not I should focus more on this or something else. Would mean a lot, so if you'd like to read more please let me know. Thanks!