Chapter Text
Connie put the tape into the stereo and hit play. “Should we get started?”
Steven held his hand to her. “May I have this dance?”
Connie crossed the floor of the temple’s living room to him and took his hand. Steven reached his other hand around his wife’s back as she put her other hand on his shoulder, and they began to slowly dance. The music was played by an acoustic guitar as a man softly sang in a language neither of them knew or recognized. Peridot had given the unlabeled tape to them as a wedding gift but was never able to sufficiently explain where she acquired it or who was performing it. It had become their favorite song.
They were in their thirties now. Steven had finally had a few more growth spurts, one at 16 and the other at 27. He didn’t grow much taller between 16 and 27, just older and bigger. He was very big now. He was tall enough that Connie, who wasn’t short, could rest her head on his upper chest as they danced. His chest and shoulders had grown broader. He still had quite a bit of soft fat, but now someone wouldn’t have to poke hard to feel the muscle he had developed underneath. Connie was all hard muscle. Steven could feel how strong she was even as they danced, in her back as he held her, in her arm that she rested on his shoulder, in her hand as she held his.
Her head still on Steven’s chest, Connie said, “we should go over it one more time.” She was referring, of course, to the list of reasons they shouldn’t do what they were doing, and all the reasons they were doing it anyway.
“Did you think of something else?” Steven asked.
“No, it will just make me feel better.”
“OK,” Steven said. “Well, item one is that if this works, we’ll never be able to fuse again.”
“And I’ll miss that a lot,” Connie said, “but dancing with you the normal way is good, too, and at least we won’t have to worry about being interrupted by accidental fusion.”
Steven chuckled. “Right.”
Connie removed her head from Steven’s chest and looked up at him. “Item two is that, if this works, you’re going to be in a really bad way.”
“Only at first. We’ve tested this a couple times. I’ll feel like death and be basically bedridden for a few weeks, then another month of not being much help to anyone, but eventually I’ll be back to full strength. Well, as full strength as possible considering the circumstances.”
“That brings us to item three,” Connie said. “If this works, you won’t be able to help the Crystal Gems anymore.”
“Sure I will!” Steven said. “Just not in the same way I do now. Besides, someday I’m going to get too old to go adventuring like that, anyway. I might have a few more decades in me, but if we wait that long, we’ll be too old to start this next adventure.”
“ I’ll be too old,” Connie said, “You could find someone younger to do this with.”
Steven was surprised. Everything else they were discussing had been said a hundred times before, it was practically scripted. But Connie had never suggested this before. Steven pulled away slightly so he could really look into Connie’s face. “Connie, if this was something you didn’t want to do, I would find someone else for this, but I want it to be with you.”
Connie smiled. “Of course I want to do this with you, Steven.” She leaned up and kissed him, and they held the kiss for a few seconds.
“And now we’re at item four,” Steven said when they pulled away. “If this works, we have no idea the kind of toll it will have on your body.”
Connie continued to smile. “I know,” she said. “But this is something I’ll gladly take the risk for. And between modern human medicine and the help of the smartest Gems in the universe, I’m pretty confident that it’ll turn out OK.”
“We do have a lot of great friends,” Steven agreed. They danced silently for awhile. “Was there anything else?”
Connie’s head was back on his chest. “No, I think that’s everything.”
“Are you ready?”
“Yeah.”
The tape had run out, but it didn’t matter. The speed of Steven and Connie’s dancing increased, until they were twirling across the floor. As they felt the warm glow start to spread across their bodies and the white light start to cloud their vision, Connie leapt into Steven’s arms, her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms behind his neck, and they fused in a passionate kiss.
Stevonnie came into existence already dizzy from the twirling, and they staggered to the couch and sat down for a minute to catch their balance. They looked around the temple’s common area. It hadn’t changed much in approximately two decades. Many of Steven’s things had been removed or put in storage, since he and Connie lived in their own home down the beach now. But it still had the same kitchen and the same couch, and Stevonnie knew it still had a bed in the loft behind them. The Gems didn’t use these spaces very often, so there wasn’t any reason to change them.
Stevonnie stood up and walked to the bathroom, flipping on the light. They took in their appearance in the mirror. Unlike Steven and Connie, Stevonnie never really looked any bigger or older than the first day they fused. Their clothes were different every time; Steven still had a pretty limited wardrobe but he had outgrown the red star shirt and flip flops at least. And now that Steven was a pretty hairy guy, Stevonnie usually started out with some facial fuzz. Stevonnie considered shaving, but decided against it. They weren’t sure how old the razor in the cabinet was, and spending their last day with razor burn would probably be worse than with a patchy beard. Steven and Connie had at least dressed up for the occasion, and Stevonnie’s outfit seemed to be a combination of Connie’s sundress and Steven’s linen suit jacket, although it all seemed to be one garment. And bare feet, of course.
Stevonnie sighed. “OK,” they said to their reflection, “let’s get this over with.”
Stevonnie stepped out of the bathroom and walked to the front screen door. They looked out the window at the small group of their closest friends and family gathered on the beach near the stairs to the temple. Stevonnie’s hand rested on the door handle for a few seconds before pushing it open and stepping into the sun.
“Hey guys,” they called out. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up, returning Stevonnie’s greeting. Stevonnie walked down the steps and into the small farewell party.
The first person that Stevonnie greeted was Garnet, clasping each other’s hands.
“Thank you so much for teaching me what it means to be a fusion, Garnet,” Stevonnie said.
Garnet squeezed Stevonnie’s hands. “This is an incredibly selfless thing you’re doing for Steven and Connie.” A few tears slid out from underneath her visor. “I’m not sure if I would do the same for Ruby and Sapphire even if it were possible.”
Stevonnie hugged Garnet around the shoulders. “You would do anything for them,” they said, “but they would never ask you for anything you couldn’t give.” They held the hug for a long time, then gave each other one last hand shake.
Stevonnie walked to Amethyst next.
“This isn’t much of a party, dude,” Amethyst said, her hands as always behind her head and trying to look as bored as possible. “It’s not too late to get some music and food out here, really make this an event.”
“We did that last night,” Stevonnie said. This farewell party was really the last of many they had had over the last few weeks, doing the things they liked to do for fun, eating their favorite foods, and meeting with all of the many friends they had met over the years. “Just make sure you keep having lots of parties with Steven and Connie, and in a way it will be like I’m partying with you.”
Amethyst smirked. “You don’t have to be sappy about it. But yeah, I will.”
“Good luck out there, Amethyst, you’re not gonna have me around to watch your back.”
Amethyst rolled her eyes. They hugged, and then punched each other in the arms a few times before Stevonnie stepped to the next partygoer.
“Pearl.” Stevonnie and Pearl went in for the hug immediately, then pulled back to look at each other, arms still around each other’s waists. Unlike the other Gems, the last few times Pearl had poofed and reformed, she made herself look older by human standards. The hair at her temples was gray now, and lines creased her forehead. No one ever mentioned or discussed it, so Stevonnie didn’t know if she did it for Steven’s benefit or if she just admired a mature look. Stevonnie eventually broke the hug and stepped back from Pearl. “Thank you for teaching me so much over the years. And thank you for the opportunity to help on so many missions.”
Pearl waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, Stevonnie, we should be the ones thanking you ! The number of times you’ve saved the day have more than tripled the value of the time and effort I put into training you. Oh, do you remember last year when we visited that Homeworld colony and the native fauna started to overrun the warp pad? I acted calm at the time because I didn’t want to worry you, but until Steven and Connie fused into you and started battling them back, I was really worried we might be stranded there! Oh, oh! And I was just thinking the other day about that time when…”
Stevonnie smiled and let Pearl reminisce about their best adventures for a few minutes, but eventually interrupted her when she got started on the story about how difficult tracking down and curing the last corrupted Gem had been. “Pearl, before I forget, I have one more favor to ask of you.”
“Oh my goodness, anything at all!”
“I’ve written letters for everyone. Everyone .” Ever since this plan had been decided on, months ago now, Stevonnie had started writing letters to everyone they knew as Stevonnie, which at this point was just about every human and Gem in Beach City, lots of people from around the world, and even a good number of Homeworld Gems. The letters ranged in length from the several dozen pages that had to be put in manila envelopes for the Crystal Gems and Steven and Connie’s parents, to a couple sentences on a postcard to the girl who worked the sunglasses stand that Stevonnie had only met once but they had spent a few minutes discussing the latest blockbuster. Basically, if they had ever had a conversation with Stevonnie, they got a letter. “They’re all in the dresser in the bedroom in the loft inside. I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to send them all out, but if anyone ever comes around asking about me, would you give them their letter?” Stevonnie had figured it would be less awkward to pick up the letter from Pearl instead of Steven or Connie, considering that Steven and Connie would know exactly what was in the contents.
“Letters! Oh, of course, I love letters! Oh, Stevonnie, I’m so excited to read what you had to say!”
Stevonnie looked at her suspiciously. “Pearl, there is a letter for you, but please don’t open any letters written for other people.”
“Oh! No, I didn’t mean that . But they would probably let me read it after they did, right?”
Wondering if they should have given the task to Garnet instead, Stevonnie kissed Pearl on the cheek and said, “Thanks, Pearl.”
The next people to say goodbye to were Connie’s parents, Doug and Priyanka Maheswaran. “Hi Mom and Dad.” They all smiled at each other. The Maheswarans had hesitated to accept the familial titles from Stevonnie at first, but at this point Steven was their son in his own way, too, so now it seemed natural.
“We’re really proud of you,” Doug told them.
“As hard as this must be for you, I think congratulations are in order,” Priyanka agreed.
Stevonnie laughed, and threw their arms around both the Maheswarans’ necks. “I didn’t realize how much I wanted someone to be happy for me,” they said, “instead of sad. I’ll be honest, I’ve been a little scared.”
“This is a pretty scary next step for people even in normal circumstances,” Doug said, “and in your case even scarier. It’s OK to be afraid.”
Stevonnie stepped back, rubbing a few tears from their face.
“I want you to know that I’m going to make sure that both Connie and Steven will receive the best possible care, medically speaking,” Priyanka said. “If either of them needs me to come out of retirement for any reason, I’ll happily do so, otherwise I can pull whatever strings they need to be seen by the very best of my colleagues.”
“Thank you. I want to say that they won’t need it, but to be perfectly honest, I’m really not sure. This is all going to be pretty new.” Stevonnie reached out and took a hand of each of them. “Thank you again for accepting me, and Steven, into your family. I know this was all really hard to understand sometimes, but you always did your best to make me feel welcome. I couldn’t have asked for a more loving family.”
“Bringing you into our family was one of the best decisions we ever made,” Doug reassured them.
Stevonnie squeezed their hands one more time and moved on to the last guest.
Stevonnie didn’t say anything before they threw their arms around Greg Universe’s neck. “Dad,” they said softly as they held each other for a long time. Greg had never expected Stevonnie to call him anything else. Like the Maheswarans, Greg was obviously older now. His hair was completely gray, and he finally cut it short, at least by Greg’s standards. It was still down to his shoulders, but it was easier for him to reach it with a brush now, with his increasingly less flexible arms.
Eventually they pulled apart, and it was obvious that Greg could tell that Stevonnie was getting nervous. “This is a pretty big thing you’re doing here, kiddo. You know that no one, not even Steven or Connie, will be mad at you if you decide you don’t want to do it.”
“I know,” Stevonnie said. “But I want to do it, too. It feels right, like this is supposed to be the next step. Did Mom ever act scared before Steven was born?”
“Sometimes,” Greg admitted. “Just like you, she had a lot of friends and a lot of reasons for sticking around. But mostly she was just excited about what was coming next.”
“Yeah. That’s kind of how I feel, too.” They stood in silence for a few seconds. “OK. I think it’s time to get this show on the road.”
“Are you sure? We still have time to make this a real party. I could grab my guitar, we could make a campfire and roast some hot dogs…”
Stevonnie laughed. “You and Amethyst should have talked about this beforehand.” They turned away and walked to the center of the gathering. “Hey guys?” When they had everyone’s attention, which they basically had already, they continued, “thank you so much for being here. I know I didn’t do anything besides say goodbye, but it means a lot to me that I was able to do so. Anyway, I’m going to go unfuse now.”
“Do you want us to be in the room with you?” Priyanka asked.
“No, I need to be alone so I can concentrate. Although, Garnet, if you could wait outside the door? Steven will probably need someone to carry him.” Garnet nodded, and Stevonnie continued. “OK. Once again, thank you for coming. If you want to start a real party, Amethyst, go ahead, but, uh, keep it down for the next couple minutes. All right. OK. I’m gonna head inside now.” They were a little frustrated that their speech hadn’t come out as eloquent as they had been planning, but they turned and headed up the stairs to the temple living area, followed by Garnet. They entered the house and nodded at Garnet who leaned against the exterior wall, facing the other way.
Stevonnie stood in the living room and caught their breath for a minute. When they weren’t calming down, they went back to the stereo and picked up the other cassette that was sitting next to it. It was an instrumental heavy metal song, artist unknown. Lapis was the one who had given it to Steven and Connie, and she had been as evasive as Peridot about where she got it or who it was by, although it seemed that they didn’t get the tapes in the same place. Stevonnie had no idea why they would have a different taste in music as Steven and Connie, but this was their favorite song.
Stevonnie sat down on the couch and listened to the whole song, trying not to think at all. When the song ended and the stereo fell silent, they closed their eyes and started what this whole day had been about. Stevonnie searched themselves for the essences of Steven and Connie, trying to isolate them. Once they had identified them both separately, they focused on Steven.
Stevonnie had split into the three beings that they truly consisted of a few times before, as they were testing whether this could work. There was Connie, there was human Steven, and there was Steven’s Gem, who was totally creepy when separated from Steven. Probably it couldn’t help it; it was just the embodiment of the power of the Pink Diamond, and seemed to need to be joined to a human to express any kind of personality. Stevonnie frowned and pushed that out of their thoughts.
What Stevonnie was doing now was harder. They weren’t trying to split the three entirely, but rather split in a combination they weren’t used to. They briefly considered that they would be pretty embarrassed if they went through today’s whole production only to not be able to do this. They pushed that thought aside, too. If it didn’t work, they would have time to be embarrassed about it then.
Stevonnie took a deep breath. There was Connie, there was Steven...and there was Steven’s Gem. All right. Separate that Gem from Steven. Bring it over to Connie. Stevonnie was breathing pretty hard. “I love you,” they said quietly aloud, although they had no idea who it was addressed to. OK. There’s Steven. There’s Connie and Steven’s Gem. OK.
Stevonnie unfused.
Steven woke up, head pounding and feeling like he was about to vomit, even though he, Connie, and Stevonnie had all avoided food since last afternoon for exactly this reason. He opened his eyes and even though his vision was blurry, he could tell he was in his old bed in the loft upstairs. The blinds were drawn, filtering out the afternoon sun. He also noticed that the dresser that was usually near the foot of the bed was missing.
He looked up, and Connie was sitting near his shoulder, petting his hair. “Hey,” she said, smiling.
“Where’s the dresser?” he asked through a strained, crackling voice.
Connie grinned. “I asked Garnet to take it into her room. She’ll manage the letters.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Steven said. He tried to laugh but that made a new wave of pain and nausea rack his body. He groaned and looked down at his torso. Someone had already stripped him of his linen suit, and he was lying in just his boxers. His Gem was missing, leaving a smooth, belly button-less abdomen. He looked back to Connie, sitting there radiant and calm, and looked her up and down. “...How long was I out?” he managed to ask.
“About an hour,” she answered.
He reached out and touched her stomach. “How are you already this big?” Her belly had a noticeable roundness, even through her loose cotton dress.
“Your Gem isn’t small, Steven! It takes up space!”
Steven felt his face splitting in a smile. “So it worked?”
“Well, we won’t know for sure until it can be detected by a doctor, which if this is anything like it would be in normal cases we won’t be able to do for awhile.” She covered her hands over his, still resting on her stomach. “But it feels good, Steven. It doesn’t feel like I just have a rock implanted in my abdomen, it feels like the real thing.”
“Oh my god.” Tears started pouring freely from Steven’s eyes, and he saw that that made the same thing happen to Connie. “Oh my god, we’re going to be parents.”
“I think we are,” Connie said, laughing through her tears.
After several minutes of just touching his wife’s belly and marveling in everything that they had planned so much for but still felt completely unexpected, Steven felt his tears slow down and dry. “So where did everyone go?”
“Greg and Amethyst really did start a campfire and are roasting hot dogs. I convinced them not to play any music, though.”
“Mm, it’s OK if Dad wants to play his guitar. His acoustic, I mean. And I’d really appreciate a hot dog once my stomach settles down.”
“OK, I’ll let them know. Is there anything else I can get you right this second?” Steven shook his head, so Connie leaned down and kissed him softly before getting up and walking down the loft stairs.
Steven stared at the ceiling, running his hands over his abdomen and feeling where his Gem used to be. They had done this a few times now, and he knew he would get better eventually, but it was scary knowing he wouldn’t be joining back with his Gem ever again. But the excitement of what was coming next overcame that. Out of all the adventures Steven had been on in his life, this was going to be the scariest, most exciting, best adventure yet.
Another wave of nausea hit, and Steven grabbed the bucket they had left near his bed and this time really did vomit what little was left in his stomach into it. He would have to get through this adventure first.