Chapter Text
i.
It starts like this, with Alex alone in her apartment, drinking straight from the bottle because there’s no one left to watch her disapprovingly. Kara’s gone, off on what remains of her planet with what remains of her people, and Alex’s faith that she’s coming back waxes and wanes with her mood. Kara’s never been more than a phone call away, and Alex hadn’t realised how much she relied on that until she was too far for anything more than a slightly garbled, one-way message every couple of months.
Losing Kara alone would’ve been hard enough, but Alex was also struggling to fill the holes left by Winn and J’onn. She couldn’t begrudge either of them the journeys they were on, but their near-simultaneous departures left Alex alone, coping with an abandonment complex she hadn’t realised she had. Even Sam had disappeared back to Metropolis in the wake of Reign, taking with her the aching sense of potential that Alex had barely begun to acknowledge before it was gone.
Kara, J’onn, Winn, Sam, and in one fell swoop, Alex lost almost eighty percent of her support network.
All of which cumulates in Alex laying sprawled on her couch, rolling an empty bottle between her hands and debating if it was worth standing to retrieve a fresh one from the kitchen. She’s somewhere between buzzed and comfortably numb, and she’s leaning towards just letting herself drift off to sleep when her phone chimes loudly from the coffee table.
She almost ignores it. Her agents know to call her if it’s important, and there’s nobody else on this side of the galaxy that Alex wants to hear from. She lets her eyes drift closed again as the screen fades into darkness, and she’s most of the way to asleep when it beeps again.
Groaning, Alex gives in and rolls over, letting the bottle in her hands roll onto the floor and reaching for her phone. She squints when the light from the screen hits her face, painfully bright after the darkness, and waits for her eyes to adjust enough to see the screen.
Hey.
You awake?
It’s from James, which isn’t unusual. He’s taken to checking in with her every few days, and Alex has a sneaking suspicion that Kara’s responsible. Alex mostly humours him, aware of the lengths most of Kara’s friends will go to in order to avoid disappointing her, but tonight she’s tempted to let it go unanswered. The niceties of social interaction feel beyond her, and it’s close enough to midnight that she doesn’t think he’ll question it.
It is odd that he’s contacting her this late, though. His messages usually fit around his schedule, a quick check-in at lunch time or as he’s leaving work. This is well outside his normal hours, and it’s just strange enough to push Alex into responding.
Yeah.
Alex waits, but her screen goes dark before he replies. She lets the hand holding her phone drop onto her chest and closes her eyes, and she’s close enough to sleep to be jolted when it chimes and vibrates against her sternum.
James’s new message is long and rambling enough that she has to scroll to read all of it, and she squints at it for almost a minute before she gives up trying to make her eyes focus long enough to parse the words and just calls him.
“Alex?”
“What’s the problem?”
“Are you drunk?”
Yes. “No.”
“Alex, it’s not urgent, I’ll just—”
“It’s something about Lena.” She’d picked out her name enough times to realise that much. “Do I need to wake up my tac team?”
“No! No, it’s nothing like that. I just…” He trails off, but when Alex makes an impatient noise, he launches into an explanation that’s only slightly less rambling that his text. Alex only gets the gist – something about a fight, and a break-up, and Lena now into day five of radio silence – but by the time he stops talking she’s worked out what he wants.
“You want me to check on her.”
“You sound like you’re busy, don’t worry about it, I’ll find her.”
‘Busy’ isn’t the word he wanted to use. Alex can tell from the slight hesitation when he says it, but she doesn’t have the energy to pick a fight about it. She does roll her eyes, and makes sure he can it in her tone. “No you won’t, not if she’s avoiding you. I’ll find her.”
The last thing Alex wants to do right now is stand up, let alone leave her apartment, but Lena is Kara’s best friend. If something happened to her on Alex’s watch, Kara would never forgive her.
James lets out a long breath that hisses over the line. “Fine, just… Don’t drive.”
…
Alex doesn’t drive. She calls a cab, and ignores the side-eye the driver shoots her when she recites the address from her phone screen. It’s in a part of the city she’s almost totally unfamiliar with, but according to the very helpful and only moderately illegal piece of software Winn had given her before he left, Lena’s been there for at least a couple of hours.
When they pull up in front of the building, Alex is surprised. It’s not what she’d call a dive, particularly in comparison to some of the places she’s found herself in the past, but it’s definitely not the sort of establishment she’d expect to find Lena Luthor in. There’s a bouncer on the door, and he’s eyeing Alex like he’s trying to decide how much trouble it would be to stop her. She’s come prepared though, and brushes past him with a quick flash of her DEO badge, altered to resemble an ATF identification, and he lets her go without comment.
Inside is less shabby than it appears from the outside, though that could be down to the pulsing lights and music that’s just loud enough to distort Alex’s already-muddled senses. The club is packed with enough people that picking out any one individual is difficult, and Alex spends a good ten minutes prowling the edges of the crowd, searching for Lena in the mass of bodies, before she spots the narrow flight of stairs tucked in the back corner of the room.
Upstairs is quieter, with only the echo the pounding bass and the hint of a melody from the club. The room is just as dimly lit, but it’s closer to a soft, firelight glow than the strobing light of the dancefloor. It takes Alex a second to adjust to the difference in atmosphere, but when she does, she realises that she’s in a bar that reminds her strongly of the places the med students with trust funds used to drag her classmates to when they wanted to wallow in their existential nihilism.
There are far fewer people up here, and it doesn’t take long for Alex to pick Lena’s form out, even in the low light. She’s slouched at the far end of the bar with a whole flight of empty shot glasses in front of her, and the bartender is leaning close enough to her as he refills her tumbler that Alex feels her hackles raise instinctively. He eyes her as she approaches them, trying to stake his claim with his expression, but Alex just glares at him until she’s close enough to touch Lena on the shoulder.
Lena twitches and stiffens at the contact, but after a second of blinking up at Alex warily, she relaxes.
“Agent Danvers,” Lena murmurs, surprised, and the bartender scowls and moves away. “I didn’t know you came here.”
“I don’t,” Alex says, trying to gauge how many of the shots Lena’s taken and how many are in the small puddle at the foot of her stool. The bartender’s attempts to get her drunk were apparently less successful than he’d thought, though judging by the way her vowels are running together, she’d swallowed at least a few.
Lena frowns in confusion. “Then why…James sent you,” she says, something like disappointment flashing across her face before her eyes narrow. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Then consider me your escort home,” Alex says, trying and failing to keep her irritation out of her tone. She’s not in the mood to deal with a belligerent Luthor, but judging from her expression, Lena isn’t going to make this process easy.
“One of the many upsides to a break-up is that I don’t have to deal with someone hovering over me,” Lena says, turning back toward the bar and taking a sip of her drink. Her glass is generously full, and Alex takes a second to glare at the bartender again, wondering idly how much trouble she’d have justifying herself if she arrested him for being a creep.
“One of the upsides of dragging me out of my apartment at midnight is that I don’t care,” Alex shoots back. “It’s time to go.”
“Not until I’ve finished my drink,” Lena says, gesturing with her over-full glass and somehow managing not to spill any of it.
Alex grits her teeth and reaches forward to pluck the drink from her hand, ignoring Lena’s noise of protest, and downs it in one go. It burns in her throat the way only expensive liquor can, and Alex regrets it for a moment when it hits her stomach and mixes with the cheap scotch already there. She drops the glass back onto the bar with a thunk, and turns back to Lena to find her looking at her with hooded eyes. Her expression ignites a swirl of heat low in Alex’s stomach that has nothing to do with the alcohol settling there, but before she can explore whatever that is, Lena speaks.
“Why do you care?”
“Kara asked me—”
“Kara’s not here,” Lena snaps, angry, and Alex feels the thrill of something inside her rising to meet her.
“I know that,” Alex hisses, aware of the looks they’re getting from the other patrons. “I also know that before she left, she asked me to keep her friends out of trouble. I thought she meant keeping an eye on James when he goes running around in his stupid metal suit, but it turns out it also covers dragging you out of rich-people dive bars when I should be home in bed.” Home passed out on the couch was closer to the truth, but Lena didn’t need to know that part.
“Yes, I’m sure you need to be well rested to run your government black site.”
“Oh, don’t start Ms Corporate Billionaire. We still haven’t spoken about that kryptonian-proof lab you just happened to have when Sam needed it.”
Lena’s eyes narrow, but instead of responding, she picks up her now-empty glass and waves it in the general direction of the bartender, who’d been subtly inching closer. He perks up at the unspoken command, but freezes when Alex catches Lena’s wrist and shoots him the most intimidating glare she can manage.
“No, she’s done. Is she paid up?” Alex asks, her expression daring him to lie, and he nods, avoiding her gaze.
“She has a regular tab,” he says, and Alex smiles viciously.
“Outstanding. We’re leaving.” She tugs on Lena’s arm, fully prepared to drag her outside if she had to, but the expected resistance never comes. Instead, Lena slides pliantly off the barstool, only stumbling slightly as she finds her balance, then starts towards the stairs, towing Alex behind her. The dress she’s wearing is surprisingly revealing, leaving enough uncovered that Alex can tell she’s not wearing a bra under it, and she wonders if Lena changed specifically to come out or if that’s just what passes for corporate wear at L-Corp.
Outside, the air is cold enough to be bracing, and Alex tilts her head back takes a deep breath, trying to clear the fog from her brain. She opens her eyes and catches herself looking for Rao’s pale glow in the sky, which only serves to make her sad and angry all over again. Looking down, she realises with a start that Lena has moved away from her, towards a car parked on the far side of the road.
Alex hurries to catch up with her, grabbing at her arm clumsily. Lena’s skin is warm in her hand, and it distracts Alex long enough that Lena turns to look at her with a frown.
“What the hell, Lena, you’re not driving,” Alex says, but Lena just rolls her eyes.
“Of course not,” she says, pointing towards the driver’s seat, and Alex realises that there’s already somebody sitting there.
“You made your driver wait for you?”
“I pay him very well,” Lena says as the driver notices them and opens the door cautiously.
“Ms Luthor?” the driver asks, looking Alex and the hand she still has wrapped around Lena’s bicep, but Lena waves away his fears.
“It’s fine, George. Agent Danvers is coming with me,” she says, eyes dark and challenging. “Who knows where I’ll end up without you there to watch me,” she adds, and Alex finds herself slipping down into the back seat, sliding in beside Lena as the driver shuts the door behind her.
…
The drive to Lena’s apartment is silent, but Alex looks over more than once to see Lena watching her with glittering eyes. Alex is firmly in what-the-hell-am-I-doing territory, but she’s feeling drunk and angry and wild, more than she has since she crashed and burned out of med school, and there’s something in Lena gaze that’s tugging at the reckless parts of her that leap off buildings in the middle of a firefight and pick fights with aliens twice her size.
Alex isn’t sure if her sense of time is as fuzzy as the rest of her or if Lena’s driver is secretly a wizard, but either way, it only feels like minutes before they’re pulling up in front of Lena’s apartment building. It’s only a couple of blocks over from the L-Corp building, and surprisingly close to the DEO headquarters Alex notes with distant curiosity until she realises that the door is open and Lena is sliding away from her.
Lena doesn’t say anything as she gets out of the car, just looks over her shoulder with a challenging smirk that Alex is annoyed to realise she finds attractive. She knows she should leave; her apartment is within walking distance, and she’s fulfilled at least the letter of her promise to Kara. But her sister is annoyingly all about the spirit of things, and there’s something magnetic about the way Lena is looking at her.
Lena doesn’t wait for her to make a decision, but after a moment of consideration, Alex slides out past a professionally blank-faced George and catches up to Lena before she’s passed the doorman.
The elevator ride up is as silent as the drive over had been, and the sense of unseen movement in the mirrored box is messing with Alex’s balance more than usual. When they finally reach Lena’s floor – the penthouse, judging from how long the trip takes – Lena steps out and taps a code into the pinpad nestled discreetly next to the only other visible door. Alex follows her in a haze, her reasons for being here feeling fuzzy and indistinct until she realises that Lena’s kicked her heels off and is heading for a shelf that holds several expensive-looking bottles of various shades of amber.
“I think you’ve had enough for tonight,” Alex tells her, crossing the room quickly and catching Lena’s wrist as she reaches for the closest bottle. The move leaves them pressed together, close enough that Alex can see the places Lena’s lipstick has been rubbed away and reapplied, but Lena makes no move to shift away from her. The apartment is lit only by the reflected glow of the city outside the windows, and Lena’s eyes are sparkling dangerously in the dimness.
“You’ve delivered me safely home, Alex,” Lena tells her, drawing out the syllables of her name mockingly. “Unless you plan on drinking everything on this shelf before I can, your services are no longer required.”
“Yes, because I’m definitely gonna leave you here to drink yourself into a coma. That absolutely won’t earn me a lecture from Kara when she gets back.”
“Kara. Isn’t. Here. If she wanted me to give a fuck about what she wants, she should’ve stayed where I could see her,” Lena says, her eyes betraying more emotions that her tone would suggest, and if Alex wasn’t set on giving in to her more destructive impulses tonight, she might have offered her comfort. But as it is, comfort feels far out of her reach, so she settles for the next best thing.
“Self-pity’s a terrible look on you, Luthor,” Alex says, motioning vaguely to their luxurious surroundings, and Lena’s eyes light with angry fire.
“Oh fuck off, Alex,” Lena spits, curling her hands into the lapel of Alex’s jacket and pulling her forward.
And then Lena’s kissing her. Or she’s kissing Lena – Alex isn’t really clear on the sequence of events. All she knows is that Lena is in her space, hot and forceful and angry, and Alex is meeting her with equal fire. Lena sinks her teeth into Alex’s lower lip, grinning when Alex moans, then runs her tongue over the indents in her skin before trailing her lips up along Alex’s jaw.
“If you want me to stop,” Lena breathes into her ear, nipping at the lobe just hard enough to sting, “say Krypton.”
And Alex should. There are so many reasons this is a terrible idea, not least of which is Lena’s choice of safe word, which Alex really should ask about. But she doesn’t, instead just digging her nails into Lena’s skin and relishing the soft curse Lena hisses against her ear before she brings their lips back together in a searing kiss.
Lena pulls her deeper into the apartment, walking backwards with the confidence of familiarity until her back hits the solid wood of a door. Alex pins her there with her body, pushing her knee up between her legs as Lena moans and scrabbles for the handle with the hand that isn’t tangled in Alex’s hair. Even through the fabric of her jeans, Alex can feel how wet Lena is, and it makes her grin as she locks her teeth around the muscle of her shoulder, pressing an imprint into her skin until Lena gets the door open and they stumble together into her bedroom.
Halfway to the bed they stop, giving Lena the chance to push Alex’s jacket off her shoulders and strip her shirt off. Alex lets it drop to the floor then paws at Lena’s dress, looking for the fastening, and she’s on the verge of simply tearing it off her when Lena guides her hands to the hidden zipper. Once loosened, the dress slides down her body like liquid to pool at her feet, leaving Lena naked except for her panties. She’s breathtakingly beautiful, and if Alex had been in a better state of mind, she probably would’ve paused for a moment to appreciate that.
But Alex isn’t in a better state of mind, so instead she just drops her mouth to the newly-exposed flesh, sucking a bruise into the skin just above her nipple as Lena arches against her. Alex’s hand is palming roughly at her other breast, but when her fingers dig in slightly too hard, Lena hisses and pulls on her hair to guide her head back up to her throat.
“Is this what Kara meant about looking after me?” Lena asks, her voice low and breathless, and Alex bites down on the skin under her mouth until a guttural moan tears out of Lena’s throat. She doesn’t want to think about her sister right now.
“Shut up,” Alex growls, shoving her down onto the bed then climbing after her, straddling her hips and pressing her down with her body. Starting at her lips, Alex works her way slowly downward, licking and biting a trail on her skin until she’s mouthing at the elastic of her underwear. They’re flimsy, lacey things, and Alex gives in to her earlier impulse and just tears them off Lena’s body, leaving thin scratch marks over her hips. Lena arches up off the mattress, searching blindly for any source of friction, but Alex pushes her back down, digging her nails into the soft skin of her thighs and leaving little crescent-shaped indents behind.
“Fuck, Alex, please,” Lena pants, clenching her hand painfully in Alex’s hair and writhing desperately. There’s something intoxicating about having someone as powerful as Lena Luthor underneath her, naked and breathless and begging for release, but Alex doesn’t have the patience to savour it for long, letting Lena tug her mouth down to her centre. She scrapes her teeth over Lena’s clit, pinning her hips to the bed when they try to buck upwards at the sensation, then alternates between her teeth and her tongue until Lena screams her name and spasms against her.
It takes Lena a minute to come back to herself, but when she does, she tugs Alex back up until they’re face-to-face and then flips them, planting her knee on either side of her hips. A predatory smile creeps onto her face, and she rakes her nails down Alex’s torso until she gets to the waistband of her jeans.
“These off. Now,” she husks, dragging her teeth across Alex’s pulse point as she fumbles with her zipper. Once it comes loose, she shoves Alex’s jeans and underwear down together, getting them down around her calves before leaving them for Alex to kick off. She doesn’t resume her perch on Alex’s hips, instead stretching herself out to lay beside her, trapping one of Alex’s arms under her body. She scrapes her nails down Alex’s abdomen again, and Alex hisses at the sting when she presses hard enough to break the skin.
Lena’s hand lingers when it gets to the apex of Alex’s thighs, and she lets it slide down between her legs, reducing the pressure of her nails until it’s barely there. Alex’s hips roll up involuntarily, and she makes a low keening sound in the back of her throat. She feels Lena’s answering grin against her neck, and her hand slides lower, brushing lightly over her clit and continuing.
Alex makes a noise that starts as Lena’s name and trails off into a moan, and Lena slips two fingers inside her with no warning, letting Alex’s hips buck upward before angling her hand so she can trace little circles around her clit with her thumb as she thrusts, keeping the pressure just shy of where Alex needs it to be. Lena intercepts the hand that’s not trapped under her body with her free one and pins it to the mattress above Alex’s head, leaving her no way to relieve the building ache until Lena allows it.
“Beg me,” Lena whispers, running her tongue along the shell of her ear, but Alex just arches her back up off the mattress, desperate for friction but refusing to ask for it. Lena trails her lips down to her neck, licking the sweat off her skin, and nips at the straining muscle.
“Beg me,” Lena growls, adding a third finger and increasing the rhythm of her thrusts, and Alex breaks.
“Fuck me, Lena, please, fuck, Lena,” she gasps, her voice trailing off until she’s just panting Lena’s name over and over, and Lena shifts her thumb to press against her clit at the same moment she bites down hard on her shoulder. The twinned sensation of pleasure and sharp pain is more than enough, and her vision explodes with stars as she plummets over the edge.
When her awareness returns, the first thing she sees is Lena licking the moisture off her hand. It’s an almost unbearably erotic sight, but when Lena sees her watching, she stops and sits up, shifting until she’s straddling Alex’s hips again.
“Don’t fall asleep. I’m not even close to done with you, yet,” she purrs, shoving Alex’s bra up so she can mouth at her breasts as Alex’s hands run down her back to knead at her ass.
…
Later, when the sun is just peeking in through the window and they’re both sprawled beside each other, spent and sporting a matching constellation of bruises and bitemarks, Alex lets reality creep back into her brain. She’s no less angry, no less sad, and now there’s an added sprinkling of guilt to go with it. Lena is passed out beside her and Alex’s body longs to do the same, but she fights it, instead edging over until she can slip out of the bed. She gathers her clothes quietly and heads for the door, leaving Lena and the evidence of her terrible decision-making behind.