Chapter Text
Josie did not know what to expect when MG put a notice up on the board advertising her lack of a date for prom.
See, that’s the problem with having a twin sister who has kind of sort of similar interests and tastes to yours; you can’t go with anyone she might remotely fancy or have any kind of history with. The first boy who had asked her out used to be Lizzie’s ex-almost-flame, the second had turned her down for something or the other three years ago, and the third was Rafael which, obviously, Josie wasn’t stupid enough to entertain any thoughts of that happening, not while her twin was still wandering around with a scowl on her face.
“Okay, this way you’re going to end up sitting alone in the corners and drinking almost three-quarters of the spiked punch by yourself,” Hope told her flatly.
“How do you know the punch is going to be spiked?” she asked her.
Hope stared at her, then at M.G who was sitting on top of their table, then back at her again.
“Oh.”
“Yes,” she continued “You’ve got to pick someone out before all the good ones are gone.”
“Ugh,” Josie groaned “Why can’t you just go with me?”
“You know I would have. It’s just that Landon asked me already and I don’t have the heart to turn him down now.”
M.G whistled “Ah well, there’s always some Axe-wearing, bro-saying frat douchebro you can pick.”
She made a face, and both of her friends laughed.
“Wait,” M.G said, his chuckles fading into a look of intense concentration (Josie personally thought it looked constipated) “Why not do exactly that?”
“Do what?” she asked him.
“Pick a random. I mean, just off the top of my head, what if you post a notice on the board about you not having a date and the first person to find out and ask you out after that gets to be your prom date?”
“What? We’re not doing……”
“Wait,” Hope jumped in “It’s actually not a bad idea, to be honest.”
“Okay, even considering for a second that you execute this brilliant plan of yours,” Josie questioned “What if the person who answers is actually some Axe-wearing, bro-saying, frat dudebro? Either way, wouldn’t I have to go with some random?”
M.G looked stumped for a moment before Hope replied “I mean, that’s a risk we all take at some points in our lives, don’t we?”
“You’re agreeing with him? Really? A poster? The hell, Hope.”
“It makes complete sense, Jo,” M.G told her, seriously.
Josie could see her entire life falling apart in front of her.
“We are not doing this,” she said, gathering her bag, and getting up to leave “You hear me? Absolutely not.”
**********
So of course they did it.
Josie self-consciously adjusted her coat and bag, hoping nobody else would see the huge neon green paper with the words “Josie Saltzman needs a prom date. Are you ready to be the one?” printed out in bold. As if. There were other things stuck there, but none as flashy or as stupidly huge as the one with her name on it. She could feel the looks of those standing beside her, could hear some girls giggling softly.
“Isn’t that……?” someone asked, tapping her on the shoulder.
“Yes, it’s me. No, it wasn’t my idea. Yes, I’m going to absolutely kill whoever it was that was responsible for this” she muttered, turning around and shoving past them on the way to wherever M.G was. Because boy, was someone in for about three million boatloads of trouble.
**********
“Ow, ow, Jo, stop it, damn, it hurts.”
Josie stopped, book in midair, just to pin him with a glare and say “Good. I was rather hoping it would.”
“Can someone tell me what’s happening?” Lizzie’s voice cut in the din. She’d just wandered onto the scene (Josie assumed it had been to get to her locker), and was looking more and more confused with every passing second “Why are you beating the boy? What did he do?”
“It wasn’t just him,” Josie muttered under her breath “Hope better have a grave ready for me to bury her in, because I am not spending valuable time digging it for her.”
M.G cast a baleful look towards Josie, and then started explaining. Lizzie, for the most part, listened quietly, her arms crossed and her eyes moving from Josie to M.G to the ceiling when it was time for the occasional eyeroll.
“And that’s why she’s been beating me for the past ten minutes, all because I had an absolutely brilliant idea to procure her a prom date,” M.G finished proudly.
“Uh, huh,” Lizzie replied “And did it not occur to you for one moment what would happen if…..”
Before she could finish, the entire corridor stopped breathing at the sound of a tremendous crash that came ringing in from the corner. Josie could hear loud running, people shouting and screaming and cheering, and then three people came running into view. Tripping and jumping, the girl and two guys made their way almost to her, when the girl somehow managed to beat both of them and managed to reach them, grabbing Josie’s hands, and falling down to her knees in front of her.
“Haha, suck it, losers,” she gloated, smirking back at the two boys, who gave her looks of intense disappointment, and then slowly turned away and started walking back “Amateurs.”
And then Josie was suddenly staring at Penelope Park, Satan Incarnate, Evil Personified, her terrible ex, who looked her right in the eyes and asked “Josie Saltzman, as the winner of the competition posed by the neon poster on the school board, will you do me the honor of going to prom with me?”
The utter silence was then broken by Lizzie, who stamped her foot. Hard.
“M.G, I’m going to kill you,” she declared, and if Josie had been capable of coherent thought at the moment, she would have completely agreed.