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“Are you finally gonna fess up to Dazai-san? I mean, it is White Day and all,” Ranpo laughs as he nearly staggers backwards beneath the weight of the three heavy textbooks clutched against his chest in a white-knuckled grip.
Atsushi swallows thickly, embarrassment coloring his cheeks a soft pink as he caresses the soft fur of the little white tiger keychain clipped to the zipper on his bag.
“I...m-maybe...” Atsushi flinches as Ranpo firmly plants his hand atop his shoulder, staring him down with that strangely intimidating aura.
“You have to.”
Ranpo delivers his message ominously, like the final toll of church bell in the seconds before someone was to be executed. A chill runs down Atsushi’s spine and he opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a voice from behind. Recognizing the voice instantly, a wave of relief washes over Atsushi.
“Hey.”
The voice is that of Izumi Kyouka, one of the many underclassmen on campus and a close friend of Atsushi’s.
Atsushi turns to face the girl. She looks much better in the seifuku, he thinks, taking notice of her obvious change in demeanor ever since she’d hung up her gakuran and made the choice to live as the real Izumi Kyouka.
“Are you gonna tell Dazai-senpai that you’re in love with him?” Kyouka asks flatly. Atsushi nearly has a heart attack upon hearing that, but manages to keep himself together with only a dark blush painted over his face.
“That’s what I was saying,” Ranpo starts as he tosses a small handful of konpeitou into his mouth, “it’s White Day, meaning he has to confess.”
“Atsushi-senpai. You should tell Dazai-senpai that you like him. I saw Nakahara-senpai and Akutagawa-senpai eyeing him this morning.” Kyouka brushes some unseen dust from her blue skirt, glancing back up at Atsushi with an unreadable expression.
Atsushi says nothing, merely shifts his weight awkwardly between both feet, an anxious sweat collecting on the back of his neck.
“How ‘bout this?” Poe smiles as he slings his arm around Atsushi’s shoulder, bag of konpeitou clutched in his free hand.
“I confess to Poe-kun, and you confess to Dazai-san.”
Atsushi’s eyes widen.
“Poe-san? The...the exchange student?” He asks, unsure if Ranpo meant someone else with that surname. Atsushi didn’t know anyone with the last name ‘Poe’, but Ranpo had a different circle of friends. The possibility also existed that he’d met a guy he liked in the Armed Student Council and Atsushi wasn’t made aware.
“Yeah! The American,” Poe nods fervently, passing another handful of konpeitou into his mouth.
“Kyouka-chan, what should I do?” Atsushi turns to look at the girl only to see her small form already disappearing down the hallway.
“Weeeeell?” Ranpo raises a curious eyebrow, a devilish grin pulling the corners of his lips upwards as he speaks in a cloying, smug tone.
“How am I supposed to confess? Dazai-san is so cool and mysterious and the secretary of the Armed Student Council. I’m just...I’m just another awkward underclassman that he barely even knows,” Atsushi murmurs, barely loud enough to be heard over the din of the students talking and traversing the halls.
“It’s White Day. Just give him some chocolate or something and tell him you like him. You did buy some, right?” Ranpo asks, finishing off the bag of konpeitou without a care in the world.
Atsushi nods hesitantly again. He did buy some. In fact, he woke up at 6 AM just to wait outside the local downtown chocolate shop, knowing they would likely be sold out the moment they opened.
He couldn’t help but get a little flustered at the thought; he’d woken up extra early and braved the much-hated White Day crowd just to buy chocolates for Dazai.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Pfft, knowing you, you probably did something super cheesy. Atsushi-kun is definitely a ‘hopeless romantic’ type!” A hearty laugh passed Ranpo’s lips as he let go of the other, fishing around in his locker for what was undoubtedly some type of candy or snack.
“Did you get flowers too?” Ranpo teases playfully, cocking his head to one side as he picks up on the sound of sneakers shuffling down the hall.
Of course, it’s Dazai. Atsushi’s whole face goes red and he thinks he might faint.
“Oi, Dazai-san!” Ranpo waves him over whilst opening a box of pocky, receiving a friendly wave in return.
“Hey Ranpo-kun, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai cooly combs a hand through his mop of soft, shaggy dark brown hair, bordering on black.
Atsushi’s heart fluttered in his chest like a caged bird, hands clenched into white-knuckled fists.
“Atsushi-kun has something he wants to say, I think.” Ranpo snickers, fleeing the scene before Atsushi can chew him out for basically forcing him to confess to the pretties boy in the entire school.
“Oh? Did you want to talk to me?” Dazai asks in that playful, teasing tone which sends Atsushi’s stomach churning violently.
“I...um...well...” he goes back to caressing the soft fur of his tiger keychain, fumbling with the zipper of his bag as he does so.
Dazai cocks his head curiously, raising an eyebrow as he cranes his neck to sneak a peak at whatever Atsushi is doing. His anxious mannerisms were so cute.
Atsushi fishes around in his bag for a few moments more, producing a small, neatly-wrapped white box, clutching it tightly in his shaking hands.
“Um...”
Dazai’s amber eyes widen, and his expression becomes suddenly more somber, a genuine smile pulling at either corner of his lips.
“Atsushi-kun?” He says softly, watching his flustered best friend stumble over his words as he tries to put his feelings into words.
“I...I really like you, Dazai-san!” Atsushi says it quickly as he thrusts the box in Dazai’s direction, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment.
One bicolored eye opens just a crack, looking out at Dazai from beneath silver lashes. Dazai looks confused for a moment but gingerly takes the box with both hands as if accepting his diploma or something. A soft blush is scattered across his perfect cheeks, barely visible beneath the flickering, buzzing white bulbs lighting the school hallway.
“Thanks, Atsushi-kun.” An awkward laugh passes Dazai’s soft-looking pink lips; that strangely kissable mouth keeping Atsushi thoroughly mesmerized. Another comb of his thin fingers through his hair and an anxious glance around the locker-lined hall leads to Dazai clearing his throat quietly, albeit in a quite exaggerated fashion.
“You know...” he starts, holding the box close as if it’s a treasure, “I like you too. I was wondering if you wanted to go down to the park after school to study for Odasaku-sensei’s test.” Dazai blurts the words out in one clunky, unwieldy chunk, but they reach Atsushi nonetheless, and he feels his eyes grow wide as his heart jumps into his throat, pounding wildly.
“Really? I would...like that,” Atsushi nods with a sincere, bright smile. He wishes he could kiss Dazai, finding his lips tingling at the mere thought of sharing his first kiss with the handsome and enigmatic Dazai Osamu.
“Alright~! I’ll text you after last period, then! I don’t have a student council meeting today either!” Dazai says in a sing-song tone, slipping the box of chocolates into his bag as he waves a brief goodbye to Atsushi and rounds the corner of one of the school’s many corridors, disappearing out of sight.
***
Dazai remains on Atsushi’s mind for the rest of the day, and he finds it impossible to stop fantasizing about walking hand-in-hand without any judging stares or scathing remarks from passersby, even going so far as to share his first kiss beneath the plum tree in the park with his handsome high school crush. Giddiness filled him at the thought of sharing the chocolates together or stopping at the convenience store just a few blocks from the park and buying pocky amongst other delicious, sweet and salty snacks, then playing the pocky game together on a bench, Atsushi knowing his shy and anxious nature would cause him to lose every time. Still, he’d gladly lose to Dazai if it meant the two of them could share in an even sweeter indulgence.
When the last bell rings and the many students of Bungou Academy start leaving their classrooms, Atsushi goes to sit outside in the small school garden, staring anxiously down at his silver flip phone as he awaited a text from Dazai. When it did come, the notification’s beep nearly caused him to drop his phone, heart racing as he held it close and read the message.
‘Heyyy Atsushi-kun! I’ll wait outside on the steps for you, so don’t leave without me, kay?~☆’
Just reading the message makes Atsushi’s cheeks heat up all over again. Shutting his phone and slipping it into the pocket of his gakuran, Atsushi leaves the garden and heads towards the steps where, sure enough, Dazai is sitting, tapping away on a handheld gaming system Atsushi wasn’t familiar with. Upon spotting his ‘date’ out of his peripheral, Dazai glances up at Atsushi, smiling cheerfully before tucking his game away inside his bag.
“Ready to go? Let’s walk to the park together! You have your books, right?” Dazai asks, pointing to Atsushi’s bag. Atsushi nods in response, following close behind Dazai as the two of them exit the school grounds and make their way towards the quaint and romantic park towards the outskirts of town.
***
If he were being perfectly honest, Atsushi didn’t remember much of the walk; he’d spent most of the ten or so minutes just staring at Dazai.
When the two finally arrived at the park, the sun still hung high in the cloudless blue sky and a soft and playful breeze danced about, running its mischievous fingers through the two boys’ hair.
“Atsushi-kun, let’s sit down,” Dazai told him, gesturing to a wooden picnic table. Even better than a bench, Atsushi thought, because they’d actually have a place to set their books and notes down. Typical Dazai, always thinking one step ahead of Atsushi. So smart and insanely talented as well as handsome to boot.
He really was the whole package.
And the two really did study, at least for a bit, until Dazai got hungry and began to eat the chocolate Atsushi had given him.
“Oh, this one’s your favorite, right?” Dazai asks, picking up one of the square-shaped chocolates with a wavy pattern on the top.
Atsushi nods, face flushed. “I don’t really want it though. I bought it for you. Besides, I’m not really hungry,” his voice shakes a little as he speaks, not wanting to cause any trouble for Dazai.
“We can share!” Dazai smiles, cute face rivaling the glowing yellow sun above.
Atsushi feels like he’s going to pass out again as his heart pounds violently in his chest. Still, he hangs on firmly to the rope of his consciousness, not wanting to ruin the moment that the two of them are having.
Just when Atsushi thinks it can’t possibly get any worse, Dazai suggests something that makes Atsushi want to swing his bag over his shoulder and run out of the park, never looking back until he reached his doorstep.
“Let’s play the chocolate game~! It’s like the pocky game, but just with chocolate instead!”
“O-Okay...” is all Atsushi can reply with. He watches as Dazai puts one corner of the chocolate in his mouth, holding it with his teeth.
Atsushi says a quick, silent prayer to whatever gods may be listening to please, please not let him look stupid, to give him a sudden burst of confidence, and...
To let him share a kiss with Dazai, just this once.
Leaning forward with a hesitance unmatched by any human or beast, Atsushi opens his mouth and takes a tiny corner of the chocolate between his teeth, lips ghosting against Dazai’s. He squeezes his eyes shut in desperate bid not to die of embarrassment. That all changes the moment he feels Dazai move forward, their lips now touching.
Atsushi can hear his heart racing in his ears, and he feels Dazai’s tongue push the chocolate into his mouth, a surprised squeak passing his lips. Before Atsushi could even eat the chocolate, Dazai is—Dazai is kissing him, pressing his lips against Atsushi’s.
They’re just as soft as he thought they’d be.
The kiss is awkward and a bit uncomfortable, plainly indicative of the fact that neither of them had kissed anyone before. Dazai’s hand creeps up Atsushi’s back and over his shoulder, sliding up through his silver hair. Atsushi’s mouth filled with the taste of melted chocolate and coconut, his favorite. Even still, the deliciously sugary flavor has nothing on the way Dazai’s lips feel against his. Sure, it’s awkward and nothing like the magic, tender first kiss in shoujou manga, but it’s theirs.
That’s what really matters.