let us move towards the light and out of the dark

by Tobi_Black

Summary:

He wasn't Vader anymore, not truly and thoroughly, but he was not once more Anakin. He was something in-between now.

Both sides of him still wanted to find Obi-Wan though.

Chapter 1

5 BBY

He didn’t leave his room after Cody had left it with a hard look in his eyes, but the Force was as it had been around him since after Order 66. Sad and full of guilt tempered with purpose.

He didn’t trust himself to be Darth Vader, Sith Lord, outside his room. Inside it, when with his men, he could let the façade slip. Sometimes – most of the time – the slip was unintentional, brought upon by the fact that he trusted these men to keep the secret.

This time, he hardly noticed that he wasn’t Darth Vader, hadn’t been since he’d run across Obi-Wan again.

He wasn’t Anakin Skywalker though – Anakin had died the day he’d knelt to Palpatine, burnt to ash after Padmé had died by his hand.

He didn’t know who he was, only that for the first time since Mustafar, when he screamed across the bond he shared with Obi-Wan, there was an answer.

<<Anakin?>>

A part of him wanted to scream and rage and blame Obi-Wan, and that part of him was Darth Vader.

Another part wanted to sob and beg for his Master to make everything better, just as he had when he was a young Padawan with a fresh haircut when it had really sunk in that he wasn’t going back to his mom, and that part of him was Anakin.

The conflict had him quiet, caught between the two responses, because he wasn’t Anakin, could never be Anakin again, a part of him could recognize that – but he wanted to be.

Life had been simpler then – he’d been a Padawan, under the care and guidance of Obi-Wan, and it had been stifling then, being told what to do after tasting freedom, but he’d been secure in knowing that whatever he did, Obi-Wan would always be there. He could love Padmé, perfect angel that she’d been, and know his Master would not leave him.

He didn’t know when he’d started to doubt Obi-Wan. Doubt their bond.

It had taken him a bit to warm up to Obi-Wan, just as it had taken Obi-Wan to warm up to him, because they weren’t supposed to be Master-and-Padawan, but Qui-Gon Jinn’s death had made them that.

He couldn’t understand why Obi-Wan grieved but would not admit it. Still couldn’t really.

Palpatine had told him that it was because that was simply because Jedi feared strong emotion, and the loss of control that brought, and that had made sense to him – still made sense. But he was starting to understand there was something more.

He had never understood why Obi-Wan had not liked his visits with Palpatine, but now he realized that Obi-Wan had sensed something that he could not name but had known regardless. The part of him that was still Anakin wanted to preen at how Obi-Wan had never been fooled by the Sith, but Vader would spit out with venom then why did he allow you time alone with him anyway.

Anger boiled in him, because of that.

It made his words cold to Obi-Wan, a fury banked by virtue of needing an answer. Anakin needed to know that Obi-Wan had fought for him, would fight for him, before he would challenge Vader in want of the Light that whispered at the edges of his senses.

<<Why did you abandon me to Palpatine?>>

Vader held back the venom that wanted to spring up at over a decade of pain at the hands of Sidious, because he would never admit it, but he needed to know too.

A wave of grief so intense that his vision whited out and he fell to the ground but hardly felt that with the pain in his chest, engulfed him from Obi-Wan as the Force whispered destined for infinite sorrow.

<<I’m sorry, Anakin, so sorry. I should have tried harder to keep you from him, I didn’t like it but my concerns were unfounded then. I should have taken you away from the Order, or let someone more competent train you, but I was selfish. I needed to be around friends and family after Qui-Gon’s death, and clung to his last request like a lifeline, unable to let you go.>>

Vader was speechless, anger just background noise as Anakin reached with small hands for Obi-Wan, wordlessly seeking comfort.

<<Oh, Anakin. I’ll never leave you alone in the Dark again.>>

Tears ran down his cheeks behind his helmet, sliding down the creases of the mask over his nose and jaw, because he could see Obi-Wan again, a blindingly bright pinprick of Light. He couldn’t quite identify where he was, or even how far, but for the first time in fifteen years, Obi-Wan’s presence was undeniably in the galaxy again.

He left his chambers, eyes firmly fixed on that pinprick of Light that was his Master.

Chapter 2

He stalked across the Vengeance with a single-minded purpose to the bridge, hardly noticing when his men quickly flanked him.

Vader saw them and thought mine and Anakin saw them and thought no one else’s.

It had never sat well with him the fact that there were members of the 501^st and the 212^th in the Empire who didn’t serve with him, but Vader had known better than to press – Sidious would have made examples of as many as it took for him to understand that he had no right to ask that. Anakin had whispered in the Dark that they weren’t safe, serving beneath people who had no care for them.

Vader thought of them as disposable, good soldiers but ultimately just tools, because that was all they could be. Anything more and Sidious would perceive it as him creating an army loyal to him and him only.

Anakin would whisper the name of each soldier that he felt pass into the Force, crying out that no one but him seemed to care, and Vader had drowned him out with the screams of each Jedi he found and then killed.

Now though, Vader saw them and thought my loyal soldiers with Anakin.

Admiral Tarkin approached him on the bridge as he ordered his men to the Alderaan system, a faintly glazed look in his eyes.

“Lord Vader, our orders are to remain in the Outer Rim, to hunt for any rebels or rebel sympathizers we may find.”

Vader turned with a snarl curling his lips, reaching out through the Force to grasp the neck of the insolent man who thought to tell him what to do at any behest but his own, Anakin refusing to acknowledge the fact that the orders had come from Sidious who had been the only authority he’d followed in fifteen years other than his own.

Tarkin immediately grabbed at his throat, trying to tear at a hand that was not physically there.

“You are not my Master, Tarkin, I think you’ve forgotten who is in control here.”

Anakin had only one Master, and soon, he would be at his side again, like he belonged. No one but Obi-Wan himself would separate them again.

Vader watched dispassionately as Tarkin changed colors, struggling for several long moments before he went limp, chest still.

He dropped the corpse of Tarkin, and turned his focus on Cody, who had yet to leave.

Vader was curious why, but Anakin was just glad to have a familiar face at his side again. Cody was the best possible choice of his men available to him, with Rex still in places unknown and while he was on his way back to Obi-Wan.

“Cody, I have reason to believe Obi-Wan has gone to Alderaan. Are you prepared to track down your errant General?”

Cody blinked, his surprise a small ripple in the Force, “Sir?”

Anakin grinned behind his helmet, an excitement building in his chest for the familiar thrill of chasing after his Master.

Vader kept a sharp eye on his men, unwilling to let them out of his sight now that he’d claimed them as his, watching as they prepared the Star Destroyer for hyperdrive.

“My Master intends to return the Princess to her home, no doubt. I intend to greet him above Alderaan, but Obi-Wan is wily, and if we don’t intercept him there, I want you to find him on planet.”

Cody nodded, “Understood, General.”

Notes:

#I have many feels about the division between Anakin and Vader #it can also be entirely summed up to how 'mine' and 'no one else's' are objectively the same but also mean very different things

Chapter 3

They were somewhere in space, still in hyperdrive, when Sidious contacted him.

<<Apprentice, why are you approaching the Core? You have your orders.>>

Vader immediately wanted to sink down to one cybernetic knee, but Anakin refused to let him, standing tall in the bridge, eyes still firmly set where he could see Obi-Wan’s Light.

He hesitated on what to say though, because the Force was screaming at him not to mention the Princess, and he didn’t want to give away where Obi-Wan was. Then he saw Tarkin out of the corner of his eye, and thought fast in true Skywalker fashion.

<<There was a traitor on the Vengeance, I intended to rout out his rebel contact.>>

Sidious didn’t immediately agree on that course of action, didn’t say anything at all.

Vader froze stiff, obscenely glad that Sidious couldn’t see him and there was too much distance between them for more than a few words, what with both sides of their bond locked down as tight as each of them could make it as was par typical of them. As it was, he couldn’t quite help the apprehension that built past his ability to contain it the longer the silence stretched.

Sidious was smug because of it when he finally responded.

<<Tell me their name, and I will have my spies rout them out. Instead, I have a different task for you, Vader.>>

Vader knew this was another test of them, just as being offered Padmé’s ship last month had been.

Anakin couldn’t help but think that Obi-Wan wouldn’t be doubted, and even if he was still tested, then his silver tongue would get him out of this situation. He wasn’t Obi-Wan though, and there was only one answer that would be acceptable.

<<Yes, Master.>>

Notes:

Proofread by Anesor

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 31 of Let Us 'verse
• Part 10 of Let Us - A New Hope (Breathes New Life Into The Rebellion)