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Izuku's head feels full of cotton. He notices this dimly as he's escorted to the station in the back of a police vehicle. This fuzzy feeling borders on painful, and makes it hard to think. Sighing, he rubs at his eyes to alleviate the feeling somewhat. He has a meeting with Tsukauchi soon, so he can't afford to fall apart now. After a moment, the fuzziness recedes a bit, and he lifts his head again.
His throat twinges. Flinching, he lifts his hand to his bruised neck, trying to ignore the memory of pale white fingers wrapping around his throat. His skin tingles where the villain's fifth finger would have made contact, and he rubs at it roughly to get rid of the awful sensation.
A door slams, jostling him out of his thoughts. He blinks and looks out the window. Oh, I guess we're here. He shakes his head, dislodging the remainder of the memory; this is no time to take a break. If he can accurately describe everything about Shigaraki to the police, it could give them an advantage, and they'd be one step closer to detaining him. The police officer walks around the car and opens his door for him. Taking one last breath, Izuku steps out and looks around.
It's busy today; that much is apparent. Officers and detectives are everywhere, speed walking to their destinations and working hard. Not to mention the small crowd of reporters at the entrance, desperate to get their hands on any news about the mysterious villain. The officer takes Izuku gently by the elbow and leads him inside. He's never been inside a police station before, but somehow he can't find the energy to absorb every detail like he normally does. They arrive at one of the interrogation rooms. Inside, there's a gray, metal table with two chairs on either side.
"Please, take a seat," the officer says, gesturing to the chair facing the one-way mirror. Nodding, Izuku complies, plopping down with an exhausted sigh, the officer exiting and closing the door behind him.
He can't wait until he can go home and hug his mother; right now, that sounds like the best thing in the world, to feel her arms around him. Then he'll eat her amazing cooking, and crawl into his bed immediately after. Maybe he'll watch that video of All Might he loves so much before he falls asleep, but he thinks he'll be too tired. Izuku rubs his eyes, deciding that he wants to fall asleep as soon as possible.
Especially after what happened.
Then, it's like a flip switches in Izuku's brain, and it hits him that it's all over. Shigaraki, the mall, the evacuation- it's all over, and everyone is safe. He's already planning what to do when he gets home, for heaven's sake. The muscles he's been unconsciously tensing release, and he suddenly goes weak. His arms and legs start trembling, his heart is pounding, and he's grateful that he's sitting down; he doesn't think he can stand even if he tries to. A tidal wave of emotions is suddenly assaulting his heart- panic, guilt, relief, anger- and it takes all of his strength to keep it from taking over. A pained expression overtakes his features, and he sets his head down on the table to hide the tears threatening to fall.
A few drops land on the back of his hands, and he finds himself gripping the fabric of his pants as if they keep him tethered to reality. His breathing hitches, chest incredibly heavy, but he knows he can handle it. This is no worse than what he's dealt with before, and he's done it a lot. He was never good at hiding his emotions as a kid, but growing older taught him one thing: being able to hold it together until he's alone is crucial. Panicking only causes problems. So, as he entered junior high, he forced himself to be calm.
It was hard, at first. It still is, but back then he hadn't had the experience he does now. He'd almost broken when he found out he didn't have a quirk, but thanks to his mother's kind support and his seemingly endless desire to be like All Might, he'd pushed past it. Then, it was Kacchan. The bully was always giving him a hard time, and only made fun of him more when he started crying, so he'd learned to hide his tears. He'd learned to push everything down, and ever since then, he's always been able to stay calm almost all of the time.
And, it's what he has to do now. Though it only takes a few seconds to regain his composure, it's hard, but eventually he does it. He knows he has to calm down, so he can give the best possible report to detective Tsukauchi. I have to be strong, he thinks to himself, nails digging into his palms. I can't break down now. He draws in a shaky, painful breath, holds it for three seconds, and lets it out again. His eyes burn, his chest hurts, but he repeats the same breath over and over, each one numbing the weight more and more until he feels comfortable enough to sit up again.
Someone clears their throat. Izuku starts, and looks to see detective Tsukauchi in the doorway. He looks concerned. He steps forward and reaches out, like he wants to comfort him, but changes his mind at the last second. Much to Izuku's relief, he doesn't comment, and morphs quickly into his usual business manner.
"Thank you for coming, Izuku," Tsukauchi says, walking to sit in the chair across from the messy haired boy. "I promise this won't take long; I'd just like to ask you a few questions about Shigaraki, if you don't mind." He sets a large file down on the table, and readies a pen and notepad for the interview. Izuku meets his steady gaze with his own tired eyes.
"Of course," he says, and nods to the elder man. "Ask me anything."
Tsukauchi is very thorough with his interrogation. He has Izuku describe what Shigaraki looks like, what he was wearing, everything he said. Izuku trips up a bit while recounting the events of the mall incident, resisting the urge to touch his throat, but the detective is patient and lets him retell the story at his own pace.
It takes less than half an hour, but it's a half hour too long Izuku wants to be talking about this. By the end, his limbs are still shaking and his heart rate has picked up again. He's having trouble keeping the tears at bay, but he forces himself to keep a straight face. You can't break down, he repeats, like a mantra. You can't break down. You're fine, you're okay, everyone else is okay. It's over, so why are you feeling this way? Calm down. He wonders why he feels worse after the event than he did while Shigaraki actually held him captive.
"I just wish I'd found a way to detain him," he mutters. To his surprise, Tsukauchi smiles.
"Don't worry, you did a great job holding it together when so many lives were on the line. Most people would have panicked and lost their cool in that situation." The detective stands, pushing the chair back, and busies himself by gathering the papers scattered across the table. "No one got hurt today because you were able to remain calm." Izuku blinks.
"I guess," he says, voice quiet. It may have been the best course of action, but he still can't stop the surge of guilt that rises up. He should have been able to do more.
Moments later, he and Tsukauchi are walking through the halls until they reach one of the station's side exits. The cool air outside helps clear his head.
"I have one of my officers driving your mother to the station as we speak," Tsukauchi says, shooting Izuku a small smile. "You can relax; you're going home soon." Izuku realizes his muscles are coiled tight, almost painfully so, and have been for a while. He forces himself to relax, but he still feels anxious. All he wants is to run into his mother's arms, and he doesn't think he can fully calm himself until he's home again. He folds his arms over his stomach, hugging himself as he and the detective wait silently for the officer and Izuku's mom to arrive. Then, behind them, a clear voice rings out.
"Young Midoriya! Tsukauchi!"
Izuku's nerves ignite as he whirls around, his heart pounding anew. But, it's not a villain. It's the exact opposite. There's only one person that calls him 'young Midoriya'.
All Might is walking toward them, hair ruffling in the breeze and blue eyes shining with concern. The number one hero stops just short of them and looks at Izuku intently.
"All might?" the boy squeaks, his voice a bit higher than it should be. "But how?" Tsukauchi shrugs.
"I needed to talk with him anyway."
Silence reigns. Teacher and student take each other in, both immensely relieved to see the other. Izuku is staring hard at the hero as if his life depends on it. His knees start shaking as once again, it hits him that the danger is gone.
I bet All Might could have detained Shigaraki, he thinks, and he flinches. Guilt rises back to the surface, and he tries desperately to push it back down. Suddenly, Toshinori reaches out his hand and buries it in Izuku's curly green hair. It surprises him at first, but after a moment he relaxes into the touch. The hero's hand is warm and steady, everything he isn't right now, and it comforts him more than he can say. He wishes it could stay this way forever.
"I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you and the others," Toshinori says. His voice has a slight tremor. He ruffles his student's hair and steps back all too soon. Izuku mourns the comforting touch, and hugs himself again to compensate for the sudden coldness he feels, but he quickly shoves that down as well. His chest gets a bit heavier.
"It's fine." he says. All Might had no way of knowing something like this would happen. There is no reason for him to apologize. If anything, Izuku should be the one apologizing. I'm so stupid, he yells at himself. I should have done more, I should have struggled harder. Maybe someone would have noticed and called in a hero. He knows that's not what would've happened. Shigaraki would have killed so many people before a hero even got the call; Tsukauchi was right. He hates admitting it, but the best course of action was to remain calm and go along with what the villain asked. He feels his nails bite into his palms. Izuku knows there was nothing he could've done, but he still blames himself. If only I were stronger. I could have stopped him, I could have prevented him from getting away-
Stronger. Strong fingers. Fingers he can't prevent from slithering toward him. They're around his throat again, squeezing, digging into his skin. He feels the warm breath tickling his ear and suddenly, he can't breathe. His stomach bottoms out and everything he's been shoving down for the past day rises to the surface all at once. In an instant, his heart is pounding, and his legs are shaking so much he can barely stand.
"All Might?" he rasps, but his voice cracks and it comes out as a whisper. He tries again. "Um, All Might?" Toshinori cuts off what he's saying to Tsukauchi and looks over.
"Yeah, what is it?"
He's not prepared when his student falls to his knees with a pained gasp. The hero rushes over to the trembling boy, his own heart leaping into his throat. What's happening? What's wrong with Midoriya? The boy's muscles are taught, veins bulging, fists clenched tightly and shaking at his sides. His eyes are blown wide, the green reflecting from them the only color on his pale face. His thick bangs are plastered to his forehead from how much he's sweating, and Toshinori's own breath catches when he realizes something else: Izuku's not breathing.
And just like that, Izuku's mind is whisked away. He's not outside the police station, he's at the mall. Standing paralyzed as white, bony fingers snake around his throat, digging, bruising, cutting off oxygen. And that fifth finger, floating menacingly, far too close to his skin. One touch is all it takes, and he'll turn to dust, starting with his windpipe.
And he can't do anything. With all the power he has coursing through his veins, Izuku can't do a damn thing. If he does, Shigaraki will destroy him, and then go on a killing spree. So he freezes, knowing it's the only way to save all these civilians. This realization hits the boy like a sledge hammer. He's never felt more helpless in his life.
Suddenly, two more hands, invisible, appear on either side of his face. Pressing, immobilizing, and he flinches violently, but he doesn't dare try and escape. He wants to scream and lurch away- there's too many hands! Too many poisonous, cruel, painful hands.
Shigaraki hasn't stopped squeezing; if anything, he's tightened his hold. Pressure builds up inside his head, and black spots swim across his field of vision. There's a harsh ringing in his ears; he thinks he hears someone call his name, but he can't be sure, and he can't move anyway otherwise Shigaraki will-
Slap!
Izuku's head snaps to the side, cheek smarting, and like thunder his lungs open up and air rushes in. Immediately he starts hacking, his coughs hard enough to hurt his throat, and his hands swing up to cover his neck. Reality crashes back into place like he's been electrocuted, and despite the promise he made to himself just minutes before, a low sob tears itself from his mouth. He gulps in huge, far-too-quick gasps of air, fully hyperventilating where seconds before he hadn't been breathing at all. However, instead of clearing up, his vision only gets worse. The world gets darker, and his body lists to the side as his head starts spinning so fast he thinks he's going to vomit-
Strong, steady hands cup his face, and guide him back to facing forward again. On reflex he reaches up to grab them, but they're not hurting. They're not painful, like before; now they're warm, gentle, and the stark difference from the evil hands is enough to ground him fully back to reality.
"-doriya! Izuku, can you hear me?" All Might's strong voice fills his ears, and he suddenly remembers where he is. The hero sounds worried- scared even. Why does he sound so frightened? Is that because of me? The answer comes to him as Izuku's head starts getting so light he can barely stay upright. He feels himself tilting dangerously on his knees, but All Might's hands and arms prevent him from falling over. "No! Come on Midoriya, stay awake. Listen to me. Slow your breathing. Deep, slow breaths." Toshinori inhales with him, his own breaths exaggerated to help the poor boy remember how to breathe correctly.
Panicked green eyes meet concerned blue ones, and Izuku tries; he really does. He tries to follow the pattern his teacher is making with his own lungs, but they don't seem to want to work. His chest hurts, like something's crushing it, a physical force, and god he can't get enough air- Toshinori smacks him lightly on the cheek once more, and Izuku realizes he's drifting off again.
"Focus!" All Might commands. "Stay with me, Midoriya. Breath with me." He stares into Toshinori's electric blue eyes, and focuses on the warm hands cupping his face. He clings to his mentor's arms, trembling like a leaf, and forces his lungs to obey. It hurts, and takes a huge amount of effort- far more than it should -but he makes himself take in a long, shuddery breath. It almost does him in to hold it and let it out slowly, but he makes himself do that too.
"That's good," Toshinori whispers. He shifts one of his hands to rub small, comforting circles on Izuku's back. It takes a few tries, but soon Izuku's breathing starts to slow enough for him to speak.
"A--All Mi-might" he hiccups. Toshinori's heart jumps; these are the first words Izuku's spoken since this thing started, and it looks like he's starting to come back.
"Shh" the hero whispers, voice low and gentle. "Don't try and talk. Just breathe. You can do it. You can do this." For several more minutes, they sit and breathe, both of them kneeling, each gripping the other.
An ugly sob rips from Izuku's throat, and then another, and another after that. All the feelings he's been shoving down since the day began, and even before that, overflow, and this time he lets them. He can't hold it back anymore, even if he wants to. He feels so raw inside, like these horrible feelings have been destroying him from the inside out, and he's finally letting them escape. Then he lurches forward as Toshinori crushes him to his chest.
"I-I thought I was-was going t-to die!" Izuku wails, and Toshinori's own eyes start to burn. He rubs the boy's back, wishing he could take the kid's pain away. Izuku buries his face into his chest. "I'm so sor-ry! I c-couldn't do any-anything!"
"I know," Toshinori whispers. "I know. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, it's over now, and everyone's safe. I promise." His arms tighten around the boy's shoulders. Izuku can hear the hero's heartbeat. It's a slow and steady drum, and he focuses on it as he slowly begins to quiet down. Soon, he's only sniffling, but he doesn't want to let go. His hands are buried in All Might's shirt, and he shows no signs of releasing it. To his immense relief, All Might doesn't seem to want to let go either. He's speaking in low tones that Izuku is almost too exhausted to understand, rubbing circles on the boy's back.
Toshinori's not one to cry often, but kneeling there in the alley way, his face starts to burn. His student is trembling in his arms, looking the most defeated he ever has, and it breaks the hero's heart. He wants to take him away and bundle him in blankets. He wants to shield him in his arms, and protect him from the world. But, he knows he can't. If Midoriya is to become a hero, he needs to learn how to handle things on his own.
Today however, he's handled enough, and now he needs someone else to help him.
"It's going to be okay," Toshinori mutters fiercely, "Because I am here. I won't let him touch you." He feels Izuku shudder, and takes that as a sign of acknowledgement.
Minutes pass. They've both been silent for so long, it surprises the hero when his student pipes up.
"Um. All Might?" He sounds embarrassed. "You can let go now." Toshinori starts, and quickly releases the greenette. Izuku's still trembling and his face is red and puffy, but his breathing is back to normal once again. He sniffles and leans back on his knees.
"Do you know what that was?" Toshinori asks gently. Izuku nods jerkily.
"P-panic attack." he murmers. "I'm so sorry. I'm supposed to be brave, so I can be a hero, but here I am- " he stops when All Might holds up a hand.
"Do not apologize," the hero says. "You went through something incredibly scary today." His eyes soften, and he grabs Izuku by the shoulders. "Every hero breaks down sometimes, Midoriya. Even me." Izuku' breath catches. Even All Might breaks down sometimes? But how? He's the strongest man alive! Toshinori's not finished. "It's okay to be scared. The essence of bravery is doing something despite being afraid, and you, Izuku, have been so brave today. You've been brave since you first met me, and we started training." Izuku snorts quietly, but Toshinori hears and squeezes his shoulders to get his point across. "It's okay to let the fear out sometimes." He trails off, not sure what of what else he can say. But, thankfully, Izuku seems to get it. He rubs at his eyes, hiccupping, then sighs shakily. Toshinori brings him in for another embrace.
"Thank you," Izuku mutters into his chest. Toshinori pats his back.
"Any time, Midoriya. And hey," he leans back just enough to look Izuku in the eyes. "I mean it. If you ever need to talk after something like that happens again, come talk to me. It's more than okay."
It's sheepish, so quiet he almost doesn't here it, but it's there.
"Okay."
And hearing that, a weight lifts from Toshinori's chest. Izuku's just fine. Pride soars through his heart, knowing this. His student, no matter how injured or scared, always seems to come out on top in the end.
"Izuku?" A woman's voice, from the direction of the street. Izuku stiffens in Toshinori's embrace, and steps away. He turns to see Tsukauchi, who'd kindly stepped away during the whole ordeal, opening a car door for his mother to come dashing out.
"Mom!" Then he's running. He's a bit wobbly, since his legs are still shaking, but he makes it into his mother's arms. He feels her love envelop him, the same feeling of safety he felt with All Might, and he lets out another sigh, melting into her embrace.
It's all over.
Izuku's mother starts sobbing into his chest, clutching at his shirt like she's never going to let go of him again.
"I can't do this anymore," she cries. "I don't think my heart can take another scare." Now, Izuku's doing the comforting, and he rubs his hands over her shoulders.
"It's okay, Mom, I'm fine. The heroes and police have been taking really good care of me all night." He glances back at Toshinori, who grins back. Thank you, he mouths again. And he means it. So much more than he can say.
Toshinori grins, and shoots him a heart-felt, positive thumbs up. Then, for the first time since that morning, he's smiling again. Just like that. Both of them are, and it's the best feeling in the world.
Soon, he and his mother are riding home, escorted by another officer. Izuku clutches his back pack to his chest, analyzing everything that happened, and this time he doesn't panic when he thinks about Shigaraki. Now, he just feels...light. Stronger. Safe.
Quietly, he reaches down to feel his phone in his pocket. He has All Might's number. He's had it for a while, but now he feels like he can use it for things other than emergencies. Because All Might is no longer just his idol, or his teacher. He's his friend. Which, in many ways, is much more important.