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maxine @sweetbirthdaybaby
did i ever tell yall ab the time i passed out drunk in an alleyway and the actual spiderman found me and brought me home? bc that was so funny
amy @calcgenius
WHAT RHE FUCK MAX. r u ok tho???????
maxine @sweetbirthdaybaby
yeah im fine lmao- i only regret telling him his arms were nice repeatedly. he started laughing mid way through tho so it was ok ig
spidey @spiderman
oh yeah i remember u!!! thank u for the compliment it was very funny. stay safe!!!
maxine @sweetbirthdaybaby
this is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me
amy @calcgenius
ok but how nice were his arms tho 👀
maxine @sweetbirthdaybaby
he could b like 12 amy don't be gross
amy @calcgenius
damn ur kinda right :/ ill just thirst over tony starks arms until further notice
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deigo @aquaknife
max has a good point tho… how old is spiderman @STARK @spiderman
spidey @spiderman
listen,,, i cant tell u bc itll risk my identity but im over the age of 16 and under the age of 20
Tony Stark @STARK
What he’s saying here is that he’s baby.
spidey @spiderman
i deeply regret showing you memes
Tony Stark @STARK
I already knew what memes were. You just ASSUMED that I didn't. I just like spending time with you so I didnt say anything.
spidey @spiderman
how are u going to roast me and make me cry in one tweet
Tony Stark @STARK
Easily.
diego @aquaknife
alright so im printing this thread and attaching it to all of my resumes now.
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Amanda @iampunk
spiderman is making me question everything. So ur telling me. a boy 17-19. is an AVENGER. how and what the fuck.
Todd @MexicanFuneral
ikr? is he genuinely a spider or what because like… can i be an avenger too???????
Natasha @BLACKWIDOW
You probably can’t
Todd @MexicanFuneral
yes ma’am.
Amanda @iampunk
did. did my gay awakening just reply to my shithead brother or am i dreaming
Natasha @BLACKWIDOW
It's a pleasure to be here
Amanda @iampunk
miss widow i am on one knee
Natasha @BLACKWIDOW
Put the other one down and beg then
Amanda @iampunk
mark me down as scared AND horny
Natasha @BLACKWIDOW
But isn’t that the best way to be?
Tony Stark @STARK
Don’t you have a girlfriend? Stop leading them on you absolute savage.
Todd @MexicanFuneral
what the fuck is happening here on this day
Natasha @BLACKWIDOW
Way to out me.
Tony Stark @STARK
Oh fuck
Amanda @iampunk
A$&!&AJFUAHRH @^!^$^!???????.?...
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Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedNews
Is The Black Widow Our New Queer Icon?
Devon @DEVONDUNE
Okay that’s hot an all but honestly kind of worrying. I keep hearing ab it on the news. If a kid hears this they'll think it's okay for superheros to be gay.
nico @scottstotts
oh eat shit Devon. every superhero is lgbt.
dani @ultralightsapphic
yeah eat shit devin. lesbians arent a fetish. we’re real people.
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jake @bibibi9
w all of this ‘black widow is lgbt’ talk it has me thinking……… who else is a gay superhero
Rosa @axeweilding
i just assume all of them are until they come out and say otherwise because fuck the whole straight & cis it default.
jake @bibibi9
you’re absolutely right. my life just got so much better under the idea that thor is mlm
gina @linetti
nah. thor is wlw.
jocelyn @lovegrls
you absolute fool. thor is nb.
gina @linetti
you are the only bitch in this house that ive ever respected.
Rosa @axeweilding
so……… pepper potts just liked my tweet
jake @bibibi9
OGH MY GODS???@?$@’
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spidey @spiderman
WHAT KINDA SCOOBY DOO BULLSHIT WAS THAT
Bruce Banner @BruceBanner
Is this referring to what just happened in the kitchen or am I missing something?
spidey @spiderman
YES IM REFERRING TO EHAT HAPPENED IN THE KITCHEN GOD UM
melonfucker @nthnyng
what happened in the kitchen
spidey @spiderman
ok so me and mr. banner were trying to make this asguardian pie for thor and some of the other asguardians as a welcoming gift right
Kelly @readurmind
Okay, Pure.
spidey @spiderman
and i guess we were making it wrong bc midway through the HULK COMES OUT AND STARTS FIXING IT
Bruce Banner @BruceBanner
Is that what happened? I thought I might've gotten shot or something.
spidey @spiderman
YOU THOUGHT WHAT NOW
spidey @spiderman
alright, moving on from that worrying statement, so me and the actual real life hulk finished making the pie and now its in the oven
Janet @notacactus
i thought the hulk only knew how to fight???huh
Bruce Banner @BruceBanner
The Hulk is… Complicated.
spidey @spiderman
i kinda love him tho
spidey @spiderman
okie dokey so now were waiting for this pie to finish cooking n me and mr banner will go and give it to the asguardians .
luka @ironheart
this is so??? cute???? idk much ab asguard or anything but like… theyre being so sweet
Deby @deb
so like are these dudes refugees or are they just visiting for shits and giggles
sasha @Clarke
I heard their planet was destroyed by Thors sister so…
Deby @deb
It really be like that sometimes
[ twenty minutes later ]
spidey @spiderman
yall it's Done
dirk @agentgently
please live tweet this
spidey @spiderman
oh you know i am
dirk @agentgently
thank you for my life spider-man
spidey @spiderman
alright im bringing it out to them
spidey @spiderman
GUYS I JUST MET THOR AND HES SO BEAUTIFUL
Bruce Banner @BruceBanner
Tell me about it!
angel emoji @medusahead
this is so gay i love it
spidey @spiderman
thor, God of thunder, asked me if i wanted to give it to everyone personally im going to lose my marbles
delilah @heythere
ive seen pictures of thor and that alone made me risk it all i cant imagine what he looks like irl
spidey @spiderman
HIS ACCENT IS SO NICE TOO
delilah @heythere
WHAT KIND OF ACCENT DOES HE HAVEUFUSJF
spidey @spiderman
strangely enough… australian
delilah @heythere
oh my FUCKING GOD???????????
spidey @spiderman
ALL THE ASGUARDIANS ARE SO KIND IM AB TO CRY
spidey @spiderman
IM TALKING TO THIS ONE GIRL NOW AND HER NAME IS LITERALLY KOA. LIKE A KOA FISH UHHH.
angel emoji @medusahead
I forgot to ask but what does an asguardian pie even have in it
spidey @spiderman
honestly its a mixture of so much stuff but i had some and it's…….. so good. there's like blueberries and pineapple in there with this weird flour idek
leah @flaminghotcheetos
tell us about koa!!!!
spidey @spiderman
oh well idk what shed be comfortable w but shes around my age and shes super nice!! ive been talking to her and her 4 brothers for a few minutes now and they're all so sweet
spidey @spiderman
im really glad someone like thor is the one looking after all these people because every single one has been more than thankful and kind to me. i don't know all of the details but i truly feel that none of them deserve this
spidey @spiderman
also side note they're all so pretty i think asguardians are all born stunning or smth i think it's their dna
leah @flaminghotcheetos
guys… i think i stan spiderman
delilah @heythere
I KNOW ME TOO HES BABY
Corey @deadlydude
i get big bi vibes from him tbh
quen @queenquen
spiders are gay culture