Chapter Text
"You stupid fish! Why. Are. You. So. Heavy?!" Jiang Cheng grit out as he struggled carrying a bucket with a giant fish inside. The water sloshed as the bucket swayed. What was he doing the stupid thing? Even he didn't know.
His parents had brought him and his sister to Gusulan for one of those Sect conference things that he couldn't care less about. That place was full of stuffy old guys with too many rules and not enough seasoning for him to stick around. Luckily he brought along something that would move time along.
One day while swimming back at home he caught the attention of a very playful fish that surrounded him, playing a game of tag with him. From that day that little scamp would patrol that area whenever Jiang Cheng whistled. It was very pretty big fish, big enough that when it smacked its tail fin against the youngest Jiang's skin. He was black with red splatters. Jiang Cheng would've gladly called him Spot except he would be slapped silly each time he addressed the fish as so.
The fish wasn't Jasmine, Princess or Little Love but it was amusing and surprisingly a good listener.
So why not bring it along on his trip to Gusu?
He caught word of a decently sized spring that led to the waters in Caiyi Town and it was the perfect place for the two to hang out until nine(what bullshit curfew!).
"Finally!"
He arrived at the spring and dumped the fish into the water roughly. "Go on, test the water!"
He should be at least gentler with the little guy but eh, karma's a real bitch after those tail slaps huh? But the thing swam around excitedly. A little too excitedly. Jiang Cheng was surprised it wasn't as picky as he thought it was. He's a fighter he'll give him that.
After watching the little guy swim around for a bit Jiang Cheng bent down, "Man, I haven't seen you get this hype since those drunks spilled that wine near you." The fish nodded its head.
"Yup! Thanks Chengcheng!"
Jiang Cheng looked dumbly at the black fish as it stared back at him, somehow exuding a smug aura.
"What?!"
In a flash of golden light the fish hopped into the air.
And poof-!
A giant boy was staring down at Jiang Cheng with a cheeky grin.
"Hiya Jiang Cheng, nice to finally speak to you!"
"Good morning or afternoon to be exact, Sect leader Jiang. I should hope you slept well?" Lan Xichen greeted the other man as he stepped out from the hanshi. Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes at the too bright smile on Zewu-jun's face. People who got their dicks wet tend to be in good moods. He had better be happy, that son of a bitch, he didn't throw it back for shits and giggles.
Anywho.
"I'm fine." He said and crossed his arms, ignoring the pain in his tuchus. Lan Xichen saddled up next to him, pressing a kiss onto his cheek making Jiang Cheng sputter with red cheeks. "O-oi!"
"It's fine to do this, isn't it? My Wanyin~" The Gusu sect leader said in a sultry tone. He couldn't help himself when his honey was so easy to rile up. And he would have continued to pester him when a couple shouts rang out and a white blur zoomed by the two of them. The two sect leaders looked dumbfounded at who was dumb enough to risk punishment for running in the Cloud Recesses.
"Hanguang-jun, wait!" "Father, please wait for us!" "Oi, please wait!" Jin Ling, Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui's voice rang out as they came running into view. Jiang Cheng stepped in front of their path with a palm in front of him. "Stop right there you three!" He commanded.
The trio screeched to a halt, bumping into each other comically. Jiang Cheng studied them with narrowed eyes. "What do you three think you're doing hollering and screaming when you know it's prohibited?! You should know better!" he said, hollering and screaming. Lan Xichen shook his head at his spouse. It's the thought that counts.
"What is so urgent that has my brother breaking one of the rules at breakneck speed?" He asked to which the trio started shooting out answers all at once.
"He's missing! Gone!"
"We swore we searched up and down to where he could be!"
"That guy just can't stay out of trouble, Uncle!"
The adults were frazzled, but Lan Xichen managed to get the down low, asking, "Who?"
"Senior Wei!!" The three answered in unison.
"Wei Wuxian you son of a bitch, you get out here right now!" Jiang Cheng yelled out disturbing the peace of the spring for the pass two hours. He had been the first one of the group to arrive here, rampaging his way with Zidian sizzling like a man on a mission. He was highly high strung with the thought of his annoying best friend in trouble. His ring turned into the crackling, infamous whip.
Xichen tried to approach him, "Jiang Cheng, please-"
"Wei Wuxian! Oi!!" With a slash of Zidian at the rocks surrounding the area, they landed in the water. The trio of disciples tried their best to steer clear of Jiang Cheng's tantrum.
("your uncle's fucking insane, princess." Jingyi murmured making the Lanlingjin crow tit scowl at him. Sizhui swiped at the back of his head delivering swift justice for one of his 1/2 waifu).
"Ah you returned?"
Out of the water arose a giant hand resting on the brink of the spring. Then up came a very handsome man's head looking tired at the group. He rested his head in his arms along the bank, his brunette long hair flowing in the water. Countless fish swarmed around his head like some weird personal halo. When his eyes rested on them he pouted. "Aw, you're not my dear Lan Zhan." He whined. "He said he would come back."
Yes this was Jiang Cheng's best friend, a giant water nymph. Sure he would go into his fish form but he liked being in his gigantic humanoid form when the opportunity presented itself. The look on Jiang Cheng's family and some Gusulan officials meeting Wei Wuxian was absolutely priceless when they came to find the boy himself in shock that his fish wasn't a fish.
A nymph like siren that loved to sing and sing he could. For anyone who was nearby they became entranced by his melodious voice as he swam by. He was eventually accepted by the sects as he was content to just roam the waters wherever he pleased though, and was not a threat. The only threat he posed was to people's hearts as he loved to sit aside the shores of the waters, naked. Or those naughty tricks he would play on people, like pretending to be a monster or disrupting events with splashes of water or sending small mirages of koi fish flying through the air. The main people who tended to visit him were the disciples of the Cloud Recesses who regarded him as someone who knew what the world had to offer and valuable advice, the Jiang family who more or less in their own way cared for him and Qinghe Nie Sect's Nie Huiasang who loved to model after Wei Wuxian's lean body.
Although busy with sect leaders Jiang Cheng was able to maintain his friendship with his friend. Wei Ying somehow managed to find his way to the waters around Lotus Pier to Jiang Cheng's room and annoyed him awake in the mornings. Or the times when his friend was studying in the Cloud Recesses and he transformed into small sea creatures to disrupt his learning or annoy Lan Qiren. Those late nights when Wei Ying would manage to get him to stay late and drink Emperor's Smile with him and rant and laugh with each other.
As annoying and shameless the nymph was he was still someone Jiang Cheng came to trust and rely on.
So it was irritating to see that Wei Wuxian looked less upbeat than usual and not acting like his unbearable self. Jiang Cheng felt a vein bulge on his forehead.
"Wei Wuxian..."
"Mmyes?" said man peered down at him tiredly. His eyes widened as he head was yanked forward by a lock of his hair. "Huh-Wha-"
"What the hell is wrong with you disappearing for so long, moron?!" the sect leader yelled in his ear making him cringe. "You better explain what you got everyone even that blank faced young master worked up for!"
"That's enough."
Everyone turned to see Lan Wangji appear along with two people wearing Qishan Wen robes and bag looking slightly out of energy. Wei Wuxian cooed, "Lan Zhan~" voice dripping with adoration as his beloved walked towards him and hugged his cheek.
"Wei Ying." Although it sounded deadpan only Lan Xichen could hear the huge amounts of love behind it and that his brother was satisfied.
Imagine how the giant nymph managed to snatch up the illustrious Hanguang-Jun's passionate love for himself.
"Oh my darling husband how I missed you soo much." The nymph scooped up his husband and nuzzled him to him face, peppering his entire being with kisses. "You being here makes my energy return much quicker."
"You should've been resting until I brought Wen Qing and Wen Qionglin." Lan Wangji scolded him lightly, pressing feather kisses onto Wei Ying's cheek. Sizhui looked alarmed.
"Senior W-papa, are you okay?" he asked as he knew his aunt and uncle were only needed when there was a medical emergency or visit and this looked like the former. Wen Qing placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance.
"Everything is fine A-Yuan. We're only here to perform a check up." She said. "All babies need them to ensure nothing went wrong after birth." She explained. "Now where are they?"
Wei Wuxian nodded as he set down his husband, "Ah, hold on I'll go get then." And he went back under the water.
pause what?
Jiang Cheng looked at Lan Xichen then Lan Wangji in alarm.
"What?!"
Lan Wangji didn't bother responding to him as he laid out a blanket onto the ground and brought out a few more.
Then emerging from the water to everyone's surprise human-sized wearing a black and red robe. And in the fabric wrapped around him lie three sleeping infants swaddled comfortably.
"Ta-dah~!"
Jiang Cheng's jaw dropped and first brother Lan's hand covered his mouth before he could shout in surprise. "How surprising indeed."
The children were laid onto the blanket with their father looking over him. The real twist was when Wei Wuxian went back into the water, but saying before he left:
"I'll get the other seven so just sit tight."