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"Hey."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't start. You know the deal."
"Business as usual, risk is unavoidable, don't sweat it if I scare the living shit out of you, et cetera. I'm still sorry."
"Need-me-to-forgive-you sorry or hate-this-crap-kinda-regretting-we-decided-to-try sorry?"
"Just sorry sorry."
"OK."
"OK."
"Where are you that you can use the cell?"
"The crappy motel between work and the airfield."
"The crappy crappy motel or the funny crappy motel?"
"Funny crappy. It's closer."
"It's cleaner."
"It's just inside the range of the bracelets. They're getting weaker. I have to go back in a couple of hours, though."
"OK."
"I swept. White-noise generator's going, and the radio."
"I hate that station."
"You can't tell what station it is. The white-noise generator's going."
"I hate all the stations around there."
"It can't all be 'Prairie Home Companion.'"
"True."
"Well, at least there's some decent classical there, right? Eastern seaboard, cradle of civilization?"
"Yeah."
...
...
"It's good to hear your voice."
"Yours too."
...
...
"OK, this sucks."
"Yeah. Really does. ... So. Phone sex?"
...
"Daniel? Did you hear the question?"
"I really miss you, Jack."
"Aaaaaaaand, we're back to need-me-to-forgive-you sorry. A, We covered this three weeks ago and B, I forgive you anyway if it makes you feel better. Feel better?"
"'I really miss you Jack' does not mean 'Jack I had sex with someone else and I'm racked with guilt please absolve me or I shall die.'"
"How about 'I really miss you Jack' right after avoiding the offer of phone sex?"
"I don't want to have sex with her."
"OK. So, is that one of your semantics tricks? You don't want to have sex with her, you want to make love to her? You don't want to have sex with her, you want to drill her through the bed?"
"None of the above. I'm just ... She kind of threw herself at me the other night. I genuinely wasn't interested, but I said some things to her and then later I was thinking about what I'd said, and ... I think maybe I was talking about me."
"You never used sex as a weapon with me, Daniel."
"How can you possibly know that's what -- Oh, fuck, TELL me that room wasn't -- "
"You weren't surveilled. First I've heard of the conversation, speech, whatever. Did you know your voice goes down a whole octave when you wig out?"
"I'm not ... Yeah. OK."
"If you were talking about yourself, you were talking yourself out of doing her to keep her at arm's length. Which, I hope I don't have to beat into your thick skull again, is your choice. Is that what you were doing?"
"Hello? Is Major General Monosyllabic there, please?"
"Evasive rhetoric, however, you use as a weapon against me constantly. I won't give you permission, Daniel. You have it, and you know that. But I gotta tell ya, you're not the same guy you were ten years ago. I don't think fucking her is gonna keep you from falling for her if that's what's happening."
"I don't want to fuck her, Jack."
"And we're back to semantics."
"No. We're not. I'm not sexually attracted to her. I'm not falling for her either."
"Buuuut ... "
"But ... I do like her more than ... I'm comfortable with."
"OK."
"OK?"
"OK."
"That's it? 'OK'?"
"OK, I'm listening."
"You're messing with me. God, I'm so freaking tired of people -- "
"I'm not messing with you. I'm letting you talk instead of asking leading questions. Christ on stilts -- you need me to tease it out of you? Fine: You're not comfortable with this from a fidelity standpoint, or a security standpoint, or what?"
...
"Daniel?"
"A me standpoint."
" ... Ah."
"I don't want to like her, Jack. Not ... like this. She's ... This makes no sense. I've worked for most of a decade in a military installation where anybody I make friends with could be shot down in the next firefight. I've lived with this for years. I've lost people I loved. I've lost people I liked a lot more than I like her. I don't ... "
"Go on."
"I don't know. I don't understand."
"You don't think it kinda adds up?"
"What do you mean?"
"It adds up, Daniel. Lot of Rothmans, lot of Fraisers, lot of ... Reeses. Annas."
...
...
"How do you stand it, Jack?"
"Nine years and this is the first time you've asked me that question."
"Is there an answer?"
"Yeah. Don't be an asshole. Don't think that being an asshole will make it hurt any less if the worst happens."
"I've been kind of an asshole."
"Then maybe you were talking about yourself. Try substituting some other term for 'sex.' 'Intellectual condescension'? 'Pigheaded obnoxiousness'? 'Assholery'?"
"Cruelty."
"See, now, that I find hard to believe."
"That's odd, since you've had firsthand experience."
"I'm well aware of how cruel you can be, Daniel. You're well aware of what a prick I can be. Wealth of experience on both ends of that. You think you've been cruel to her?"
"Not really. She's a pain in the ass. Mostly it's self-defense."
"But sometimes you cross the line."
"Yeah."
"So, you've been ... offensive."
"Yeah."
"Man, it took me ten minutes to make you laugh. I am so off my game."
"You weren't trying to make me laugh. Well, until just then. That was very lame, by the way. Even though I laughed."
"Daniel, I haven't left you. You haven't lost me. I'm right here. OK? You could be in Pegasus and I'd be right in your head, right next to you. Whither thou goest, yadda. Your life's been one long string of losses, and I'm not one of them. So don't go looking for excuses to shut down. Don't stop yourself from caring about the new people in your life. OK? Me coming out here, that's not the straw that broke the camel's back. Don't turn it into that."
"I miss you, Jack."
"I know, love. I miss you too."
"I just want this to be a job for a change. I don't want to ... get attached to these people."
"You already are."
"Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. But ... I hate it. Part of me hates it. I mean -- Jack -- I'm just sick of it. Moving from situation to situation. I've done it my whole life, I was ready to go to Atlantis and do it, that would have been more starting-over than this, so why should this -- I mean maybe that's the problem, it's half familiar and half totally new, it isn't us, it's new people and maybe that's what I'm no good at, usually I'm the new guy, usually I'm the one who came from somewhere else, and, and ... Fuck. Never mind. I'll stop."
"Don't stop. You're finally talking."
"I was starting to settle down, Jack. I was ready to settle down."
...
"Jack?"
"And this squares with your incessant yammering to go to Atlantis ... how?"
"I don't know if it does."
"OK ... "
"I wanted to go. I wanted to stay. I mean, we talked about this, I'm not saying -- you know. We decided this in tandem, I'm not saying you should have -- and what we've discovered since I missed the boat, what we discovered for the same reason I missed the boat, it could almost make me start to believe in some kind of ... pattern to things, beyond blind chance and personal choice. This is where I'm needed. Maybe it's my fault that the Ori know about this galaxy or maybe it's Vala's or both or it's an inevitable result of exploration and curiosity, Pandora's -- but whether it's a stroke of luck or it's because of something I had a hand in, this is where I need to be, and it's the same place I've been ... I've been ... "
"Happy."
"Yes. Despite everything. And -- "
"And?"
"And you know what? I'm shutting up now."
"And I'm not there."
"I didn't say that."
"You realize that what you're talking about, the same situation you're talking about, makes me twice as needed where I am."
"I know that. It just ... I'm not ... It just ... "
"Sucks."
"Yeah."
"Really, really sucks."
"Yeah."
"Yeah. It does. I know."
"I've spent so much of my life alone. I guess I didn't realize I'd ... lost the ... knack of it."
"I don't suppose it would help to know it's the same here."
... "I don't understand."
"Daniel ... I need you. Here. I didn't want to ... say this, because I'm really bad at this and I'm gonna say it wrong, so don't ... It's like trying to win a fistfight with half a body. I'm jumpin' around on one leg here. Wavin' one arm around like an idiot. Spinning around really fast so no one notices I'm not all there."
"The obvious joke aside ... you're used to having a team around you. Now you just have, what, aides? I imagine that's pretty different from a field unit. It makes sense that you'd miss SG-1."
"No. See, no, that's not it. I'm talking about you. Yeah I miss the team, but I kinda had a break-in period on that last year. I miss Carter's crazy ideas and Teal'c's ... you know, Teal'c ... ness ... but I got used to functioning without them being there every second. I got used to working without the auxiliary eyes and brains. But I can't get used to -- I depended on you in a lot of ways I didn't realize 'til I came out here. You personally, Daniel. What you are that I'm ... not. Except I was, when I was there, because you were with me. But I didn't see it. I've known for years that ... I love you, I want you in my bed and my house ... I just didn't ... get how much of a partnership it was. You know, day-to-day. So it hasn't been a real picnic here either. Few sandwiches short, to tell you the truth."
...
"Daniel?"
"I've been very selfish."
"Nah. You needed to vent. I hadda poke a bunch of holes in you before you'd do it, you stubborn bastard, but the point is I'm not tryin' to make you feel bad. Just ... when I say 'I know' -- I really do. OK?"
"OK."
"Really OK or OK OK?"
"Really OK. Except I'd like a few minutes in a closed room with whoever's been hassling you."
"And I've staffed that mountain with the most capable people in the business and I still can't stand not being there to watch your ass."
"Speaking of which."
"Yeah, well there are a whole lot of other things I'd like to do with your ass, but that you knew already."
"I don't mind hearing you tell me."
"You need to lose some clothes then."
"How do you know how many articles of clothing I'm wearing?"
"I just do. Lose 'em."
"That's very seductive."
"Not enough time for a striptease. You naked yet?"
"Getting there. You?"
"Getting there. Hang on, I have to take off the headset to get this -- shirt -- ... Still there?"
"Yeah. I wore a button-down. It's off. Everything's off."
"Should get picture phones."
"'Cause voice isn't nearly risky enough."
"If they can crack this encryption they've earned a visual."
"I kinda like the visual I get in my head. Gives me more to ... play with ... after."
"Let's not talk about after right now."
"OK."
"So this ass of yours. Getting much action lately?"
"Not much."
"Not much as in just a couple of fingers, not much as in the smaller range of sex toys, n -- "
"Not much as in none. I'm back in quarters, remember?"
"That bed have a headboard?"
"I'm leaning against it."
"Pillows?"
"One. You?"
"Two. I'm not as limber as you are."
"You have a longer reach."
"Yeah, but I'm ... longer."
"I know."
"I don't mean like that."
"You really can't keep just one plug around there?"
"This risk is worth it. That one isn't."
"OK. Back to basics."
"Flip around. Feet on the headboard. Pillow under your shoulders."
"Yes, -- "
"Do not 'sir' me."
"Yes, sir. General, sir."
"Jesus, Daniel."
"It's so wrong, what that does to you."
"It's wronger than wrong."
"I know."
"I know you know. Prick. Uncap the lube."
"You're slicking up already."
"I'm done. Wanna concentrate on you. What I'm gonna do to you with your hands."
...
"Problem?"
"No, uh ... that just ... got me speechlessly hot."
"As hot as me stroking your dick? 'Cause that's what I'm doing now."
"Yeah, I, ah ... yeah, I can feel that."
"Just a tease. Soft touches. Up the shaft, around the head. Other hand's stroking down your thigh. On the inside. To open you up, so I can admire the package."
"I want you to touch my balls."
"They're pulled up tight. You're already pretty close."
"Yeah. Touch my balls, Jack. Play with me."
"I'm running one fingertip up behind 'em. Not touching 'em. Still teasing your cockhead with the other hand."
"Jack ... "
"And you're getting way too close, so I'm moving that hand down now. I'm petting your balls. Light strokes. Back to front."
"Play with them, Jack. Squeeze ... "
"Too tight. They go almost flat when you get this close. It's your ass I want to play with anyway. I'm moving both hands down now, between your legs. I'm spreading your cheeks."
"Your fingers are too slick. They're slipping off."
"So I'm sliding one hand down into the crack. I'm spreading my fingers to keep you open so I can tease you with the other hand."
"Are you? Doing that?"
"You're doing it to me at the same time."
"Am I stroking you?"
"Just a fingertip. Lightly. One fingertip. Around the outside."
"I'm rimming you."
"With the pad of your finger. Middle finger."
"Oh. Oh, wow, that's good. That's better. Why is that better?"
"I was using my forefinger, wasn't I."
"Yeah but now it's your middle ... Oh, god, that feels good."
"You know I'm kissing you while I'm doing this."
"You are?"
"Uh-huh. Soft. Wet. Slow. A lot of tongue."
"What am I doing?"
"You're closing your eyes. You're letting it happen. Letting me taste you."
"Am I kissing you back?"
"Nope. Your mouth's really soft. Really open. You're just letting me have you."
"What am I thinking about?"
"You're thinking about how good my mouth feels. You're thinking about how good it's gonna feel next time my tongue goes where my finger is right now. My tongue's stroking the inside of you and my finger's stroking the outside and it's starting to feel like all one thing. One hot, slow, wet sensation all up and down your body."
"God, Jack."
"I'm gonna slide my finger in. Soon. Forefinger this time."
"Your left hand is cramping."
"Yeah, I'm moving that one. I'm cupping your balls. They came down some while you were focused on your ass. I can cup 'em now. Roll 'em a little. Squeeze."
"Ahhh ... yeah ... "
"You love it when I've got you by the balls."
"I do. I really do ... "
"You like to feel vulnerable. Open."
"With you."
"With me."
"Only with you."
"Never asked you for that."
"But it makes me happy to give it."
"It turns you on to give it. You like seeing something you want and knowing you can have that and then not taking it."
"It turns me on to not act on passing attractions because I belong to you."
"It turns me on that you'd still belong to me even if you did."
"Are you putting your finger in me now? 'Cause nobody else gets to do that, and I'm really wanting somebody to do that right now."
"Yeah. I'm doing that. Just the tip though. God, you're hot, Daniel. You're tight."
"Do it again. Pull out and push in."
"Yeah. Out and in. Slow. Gentle."
"Jack. Oh ... "
"You like feeling me feel you."
"It's good. Unh ... Jack, it's really good."
"I'm pressing a little more in. I can feel you take me. I can feel the muscle moving. To help me work in."
"Your finger feels huge."
"Hey, you know what they say."
"I thought that was ... thumbs ... "
"I'm sliding my other hand up. Palm. Up and down. Slow."
"You're ... teasing me ... it's ... "
"I'm appreciating the package. You're hung, Daniel. I love that. Love the weight of it in my hand."
"God, Jack, I miss you groping me. I miss you squeezing my ass in the kitchen. I miss you coming up behind me and sliding a hand around to cup me when I'm soft. I miss your smell ... I miss your mouth on my neck ... "
"I'm right here, baby. Right next to you. You can feel my breath. You can feel me up inside you, moving in you. I'm closing my hand around your dick. Up and down. Slow and sweet."
"Jack ... oh, god, Jack, please ... "
"I'm pushing my finger deeper. Really penetrating you now. You're slippery and hot. So freaking hot ... I'm pushing into that. Every downstroke on your cock I'm pushing into that. My thumb's curled around your balls so every push is a squeeze too. I'm working you with both hands. Tighter now. I'm squeezing your cock. But slow. Still slow. Slow and steady ... "
"Jack, Jack ... unnngh, god, faster, please ... "
"I'm shifting my grip on your cock. Thumb up over the head. Stroking across it on every upstroke."
"Jack ... Jack ... more ... "
"Oh yeah. That's it. That's it, baby, you're gonna come for me now. Faster now. Faster."
"Jack ... unnh, unnnh, unnggh, deeper, god, please, fuck me, fuck me, I'm -- unnnnnhh, huh -- "
"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Come on. Come on. Keep working it. You're still coming. Milk it for me."
"Jaaaah ... "
"I'm gonna come. Daniel. I'm -- now, right now, I'm -- fuck -- nnnnggg ... "
"Jack. Jack."
" ... gggh, uhh, fuuuh ... "
"Jack ... ?"
...
"Hey, Jack."
...
"Jack."
" ... here, OK, it's OK. I twisted over, knocked the ... crap, I'm getting come all over the ... knocked the fucking headset off."
"I thought you blacked out or something."
"Close enough. ... Stop laughing."
"You remember that time you knocked the -- "
"Yes I remember that time. You will never let me forget that time."
"No, I won't."
"It's your fault. If you'd stop making such unfuckingbelievably sexy sounds when you come, this stuff wouldn't happen."
"You'll make me self-conscious."
"Not a chance. You know what it does to me and you love it."
"I love you."
"Well, that too. You make much of a mess?"
"I kicked out flat when I came but I stayed on my back. It's all on me. Which is good, because I don't think I can move."
"You don't have to move. Close your eyes. You cold?"
"No. It'd be warmer with you passed out on top of me though."
"My hand's still on you, right?"
"Yeah, actually. Do you do that instinctively? That protective cupping thing? Or because you know how much I love it?"
"Both."
"I didn't think you knew. I thought you just did it."
"I know. I mean, I know you like it. You ... "
"What?"
"Nothin'."
"What? Say it."
"You like to be wrapped up safe. I like to wrap you up safe. Did I just embarrass both of us?"
"How is liking comfort embarrassing?"
"You're a big strong self-sufficient guy. Supposed to give it, not get it."
"In your thick macho head maybe. I love your protectiveness, Jack. And I know you're scared. I can't ... I wish ... "
"I know. It's OK."
"It gets less OK. As time."
"Hush. Close your eyes."
"It won't always ... buh ... "
"Shhhhhhh."
...
...
...
...
"Ngflmr ... ungh ... "
"Hey."
"Hey. Whew, shit, I fell asleep."
"Wanted you to. Sweet."
"Waste of a good ... however many minutes."
"Nah, I like listening to you sleep. Try under the pillow."
"What?"
"You can't find your glasses, right? Try under the pillow. The other pillow."
"The ... oh. Yeah. Thanks. Um, how long ... "
"You gotta be outta there in ten."
"Ugh. I feel clobbered."
"Good clobbered or bad clobbered?"
"Both. God, Jack, I wish ... "
"Me too. Listen, I'm trying to keep my schedule clear for the weekend of that Smithsonian thing, but I, ah ... "
"The fake room's set up. If this bracelet crap is resolved by then and we can both make it, I'll slip you the key at lunch. Then, you know, the usual. Whatever you can do."
"I'll try."
"I know."
"Daniel ... "
"I know."
"A year didn't seem so long when this started."
"Jack, is it because I'm here? On Earth? Is this, you know ... is this worse?"
"Talk about it when I see you. You can't wear that thing into the shower."
"Phone's waterproof."
"Headset's not."
"Because really, I could, I mean, it's not like I haven't been thinking about ways that -- "
"When I see you."
"Yeah. OK."
"So, call when you can. You know where I am."
...
...
"I don't want to hang up."
"Me neither. Have to, though."
"Yeah. Jack ... "
"Love you too, Daniel. Goodnight."
"G'night."
...
...
"OK. On three."
"OK."
"One ... "
...
" ... two ... "
...
...
...
"Waterproof, you say."
"I just rinsed from the neck down."
"I heard the splashing."
"Can't get anything past Mr. Special --God, what is that?"
"Crap! Crap on a big crapping stick of ... crap."
"That's your pager? What kind of sadistic --Oh shit."
"And that's yours."
"Night, Jack."
"Night, Daniel."