Chapter Text
Let’s begin our story with a fun little topic.
Sex.
Sex to Dr. Flug was an odd thing. It’s not that he never thought of sex before or felt averse to it: he simply never had the time. Because of this, his experience was extremely limited. Even when he did have the time, these moments were exclusive to Flug and only Flug . One could imagine that these intermittent breaks were something a lowly workhorse for the Black Hat Organization like Flug would look forward to but in reality, they were agony.
Dr. Flug didn’t just work solely to become one of the greatest supervillains alive. He worked to never be alone with his thoughts.
Despite having the prestige of being Black Hat’s right hand man and scientist, Dr. Flug had his own insecurities. They were ravenous and more present for Flug than his own parents ever were.
Then again, this was a pretty low standard.
His insecurities were there for his every failure and every shortcoming. Projects and tasks would only keep these merciless creatures at bay.
He needed a distraction. Quickly.
But the poor scientist was sick of work. He wanted to indulge himself just for a split second. Yes, he knew this was lazy of him. Yes, he could use this opportunity to be a step ahead of the workload. Yes, yes, yes, but he wanted to fiddle with something else in his hands. So Flug found it best to spend his free time with pornography. It’s been quite a while. What’s the harm of watching a 10 minute video?
Flug couldn’t enjoy himself, however. He would choose one video and his nitpicky nature would get in the way. He noticed the poor acting, the jarring lighting, the overexposed audio, the mundane style of the sets, the makeshift costumes blatantly accentuating the cleavage or bulge, and the horrifically jarring plot holes and overly convenient setting of the story. Yes, the point of it all is the sex, but Flug was pretty sure the plumber would be fired for fucking clients on payroll.
Flug was not the type you could enjoy a movie with.
Flug closed out the incognito tab (as if that actually hides anything...) and sighed a deep sigh. He pushed away from his desk and sat there feeling rather empty. Pretty lonely. Dr. Flug was afflicted with the dreaded imposter syndrome. He knew he could easily stamp out any back alley genius on the fly, but without Black Hat’s approval, Dr. Flug felt no satisfaction. Black Hat reigns as the creme de la creme for villains. Even an offhanded compliment from Black Hat would mean the very world to Flug. When that day comes - IF that day comes, Flug will brandish Black Hat’s comment like there was no tomorrow.
Yes, Black Hat! THE Black Hat said I did a magnificent job! No one else! Me! Dr. Flugslys! The Greatest Mad Scientist!
Black Hat had stupendously high standards to the point of absurdity, so to please Black Hat seemed like a ridiculously fantastic dream only induced by the hardest of street drugs. That man wore only the finest suits, drank the most exquisite wines, and relished the most beautiful people in the world. He had no qualms against indulging exclusively in these priceless luxuries.
And here sat Flug in his crusty boxer shorts (with a plane pattern, of course) and an energy drink in his hand, blue-balled and having an identity crisis.
Before Flug could go any further down his mental downward slope, he thought about Black Hat for a moment.
Black Hat.
Dr. Flug always worked to keep any particular thoughts out of his head, worried that Black Hat would read his mind. God, that would be fucking embarrassing.
Flug doesn’t have a clue as to what powers Black Hat is limited to but right now, Flug was at the end of his rope. He wanted to think about Black Hat. Fuck it.
Black Hat is a stupidly attractive bastard. There are so many villains, even non-villains, who are entranced by this creature. Not in spite of his horrific behaviour, history, and capabilities, but because in addition to. However, it’s not just his power that allures them; he’s just...it pains Flug to admit this so bluntly...but...he’s hot. Tall, dark, scary, and cunning - rolled up into one. When he walks into a room, everyone stares. His aura commands respect. His charm? It garners admiration. With a toxic personality that is ready to snap at the slightest inconvenience and to kill the nearest breathing thing, Black Hat can somehow still attract even his sanest victims.
They all fall for him and Flug isn’t an exception. Flug wondered if he wanted to be Black Hat or to be with Black Hat. As if being in a healthy relationship, physical or emotional, is even remotely possible with Black Hat.
But, hey. A guy can dream.
So Flug grabbed his bottle of lube and took to his bedroom, ready to dream.