Chapter Text
Korra rolled her neck and shoulders, hearing the cracking noises of her tired bones as she ate her substantial breakfast.
She hadn't slept much the night before but wasn't complaining in the least. Making love to Noatak had been fun but what had really kept her awake had been the time she spent in his arms telling him all about the stressful experiences of the day, from the nightmare and the vision to being exposed to Katara, and he had certainly appeased her. He was frank and practical as always when he told her the old master was right but the way he gave his opinion made Korra feel a lot better and reassured. She had never really needed reassurance from others before, she wanted acceptance and recognition all the time but didn't need reassurance since she always did what she wanted without caring much for those who disagreed, but with Katara and Noatak it was different; in Katara's case because she had experience with the previous Avatar and had helped raise Korra with the principles she now held dear, and Noatak because she valued his opinion (even when she didn't agree) and felt strangely protected around him.
The conversation had then spiraled into a talk of how Noatak's father would have a stroke if he knew his son was agreeing with Katara, one of people he had hated the most in the entire world. Then, to lighten the mood and sate her curiosity, Korra had asked where Noatak was staying now that he had returned but the answer was surprisingly simple- he seemed to have a small apartment inherited from Yakone's days in the ex-Red Monsoon territory, the area itself still bore the nickname Red Aurora district and not many people ventured in there, making it relatively secluded. It wasn't something he had particularly wanted out of basic principle but he was not stupid enough to forfeit a perfectly good anonymous hideout simply out of pride, after all it wasn't as if Yakone had actually lived there, he had just owned a few of that sort of places to rent out at exorbitant prices and rip-off newcomers or hide illegal materials. The loft had been empty and abandoned for years so he took it over and Korra was pleased to know that at least he had a safe place to be when they were apart.
The night had been long and pleasant but in the end Korra gave in to sleep thanks to all the excitement of the day and when she awoke, feeling sick, terrified and miserable again thanks to her nightmares, it was already the crack of dawn and Noatak was already gone, leaving her wrapped in a blanket with a wild sprig of lavender next to her pillow. Any other girl would have been flattered to wake up to the sight of a stem of lovely lilac blossoms, but Korra knew how much deeper it went- lavender was known to relax and ease sleep as well as dispel dreams. Noatak may not have been the most romantic person in the world but he cared and his every action was filled with hidden meaning. How he gotten the sprig so quickly and placed on her pillow was where the real mystery remained.
Korra finished her breakfast and cleared her things from the table sluggishly, taking her time to wash the dishes with a slight headache starting to pound in her temples.
"Tired, Korra?" Katara walked next to her with Jinora as they carried their own tableware.
"Nah, just a headache." Korra replied in half-truth.
"Perhaps you would feel better after getting some air?" Katara smiled kindly but there was a secretively tone in her voice that told Korra it was a request more than a suggestion.
"I'll do that, I need to feed Naga anyway. Thanks." Korra nodded, stifling a yawn as she finished the chore.
And that was how half an hour later, Korra was supplying Naga's feeding manger with food for her furry friend. The polar bear dog hungrily indulged in what was offered as Korra petted her snow white fur, spacing out slightly and sighing at the memory of the previous day's encounter just a few feet from where she stood.
"Feeling better?" A gentle voice called from the entrance of the pen.
"A little." Korra replied as she walked towards Katara. "I take it it's time we had that talk?"
Katara nodded and they walked quietly towards the bamboo garden near the spinning boards' platform. Korra still didn't manage to cross the platform avoiding every single board but she didn't plan on surrendering any time soon.
The sat on a stone bench, it was early and nobody was scheduled to practice there that day so they were assured to have privacy. Katara seemed distant and deep in thought.
"So, what's up?" Korra asked, leaning back against a bamboo stalk.
Katara pondered for a few moments, watching Jinora, Ikki and Meelo training forms in the distance far below them. "Did you know I wasn't that much older than you when Bumi, my first son, was born?" She waved at the children.
All three kids briefly waved back and Korra greeted them equally before they returned their concentration to the practice.
"Nope, why?" Korra replied oblivious of why that mattered.
"I was just thinking that at the time it was so sudden, but it was one of the biggest blessings of my life… And then came Kya, years later and by then we feared we'd never have an airbender to continue the Air Nomad lineage…Now, look at them." She beckoned at the training children. "Four young airbenders and Aang isn't even here to see his dream come true." Katara waved at the whole island and sighed, she looked filled with sorrow and pride all at once.
"He knows, Katara. After all, I'm here." Korra smiled, bumping shoulders with the old lady.
"That you are but you have your own dreams, Korra. Never give up on them even if circumstances make it hard to see them become a reality." Katara's tone was becoming slightly more serious.
"Alright." Korra agreed but her curiosity was really nagging her. "What's this all about, Katara?"
"I'm not sure how begin." The old woman stared at the distant children pensively. "I believe it is best we start with the more serious matter."
"Katara, you're scaring me here." Korra was only half-joking as she looked at her elderly master.
"Korra, the other night when we were at the party, do you remember when Toph was thinking up a nickname for you and touched your arm?" Katara asked, finally looking Korra in the eye.
"Yeah, so?" The Avatar wondered where this was going.
"I've told you before that Toph has the unique ability to see by touch, thanks to vibrations through the earth, she can also tell whether people are lying or experiencing heightened emotions with that technique and her sharp hearing. What I never explained is that she can also perceive things about people in bigger detail when she has an earthen medium under feet and touches the person at the same time, she developed that technique unconsciously in her early adult life while teaching metalbending. Something to do with movement of the blood in the body." Katara explained in simple terms.
"So, you're saying she noticed something about me? What, like something off or wrong?" Korra was more curious than alarmed but by the look in the wise woman's face, she should have been petrified.
"Yes." Katara paused for a moment to take a steadying breath, but for Korra it felt like she was building up suspense.
"What was it?"
"She was under the distinct impression that you are with child." Katara spoke hesitantly.
The silence that followed those words was lengthy, the atmosphere seemed heavy and palpable and the temperature appeared to have plummeted ten degrees in a matter of seconds. Korra felt herself fall into a bizarre sensation of dreamlike unreality.
"So…she thinks I'm pregnant?" Korra's tone was mocking and playful and she smirked as if it was all a silly mistake.
"She seemed fairly certain of it." Katara nodded, still somber. "And Toph's certainties are usually never wrong."
Korra stared at Katara, still expecting the old woman to crack into a smile and reveal it all to be a joke, but the seconds rolled by and Katara simply held her gaze in grave silence.
"She must have been mistaken this time." Korra broke the eye contact and leaned back again in a show of fake nonchalance. She was trying to think of all the possibilities but her brain didn't want to cooperate and she kept losing her train of thought while feeling her insides turn to ice.
"Korra, I understand your disbelief but just answer me one thing." The aging master still refused to look away.
"Yes?" Korra's hands were starting to fidget lightly in her lap.
"Is it possible, even in the slightest, that this might be true?" Katara emphasized every word carefully.
Once again the silence stretched out, this time for several minutes. The cool foggy morning wind had dispelled into a warm breeze and the sun was shining in full glory above them, casting dancing shadows among the shivering bamboo stalks whose leaves broke the silence with whispered rustles.
"Yes." Korra murmured at last, mentally retracing all the times she and Noatak had been intimate. Her body had gone rigid with tension and stress.
"I see." Katara finally looked away calmly. "Then take your time and consider the signs, Korra."
«Signs…?» Korra's brain was still refusing to function properly or process information. «What signs?!»
Slowly, she began to grasp together several loose threads of thought. When was the last time she had had any monthly needs? She couldn't quite recall but had definitely still been back at the cave, but that wasn't so surprising she had never been very regular to begin with. What other signs could there be? She considered for a moment and a few ideas crossed her mind- what if maybe, just maybe, the dreams hadn't been the reason she became nauseated? What if that was simply what woke her from them? What if her heightened emotional states lately were a sign too? What if the exhaustion and dizziness weren't from depression and lack of sleep?
The new perspective was shocking but then even more terrifying contemplations emerged- What if the dreams and visions were really warnings or threats? Was it a coincidence that this was happening along with them? How could they have been so stupid and careless?
«No, it's not that we were careless, it's that it seemed so right and…and our reason was clouded somehow.» She was probably making excuses for herself but she began to remember the other dreams, not the disturbing nightmares but the demanding carnal dreams she had had time and time again and that had only ceased when she made love to Noatak…Thinking further back, she considered that maybe all her dreams and flashes since she set out for that beach had been pushing her towards this position, whether she consciously wanted it or not.
"Oh…" The gasped word slipped out from her lips before she even noticed it. Could it be that this was an overly manipulated design of Fate? Or of some Spirit, maybe? Was this some twisted answer to her requests for guidance?
"Have you come to some conclusion, Korra?" Katara was patiently waiting at her side while time rolled by and the Avatar immersed herself in a turmoil of confused thoughts.
"I…I think Toph might just be right." Korra's face was a mask of pure shock. "And I think maybe… maybe this wasn't really an accident."
"What do you mean?" Katara tilted her head with mild curiosity.
"I have just stumbled on a ridiculous theory…" Korra went on to explain, as vaguely as possible, how she might have been led by supernatural forces to the situation she was now. She gave Katara a skeleton of the tale of what had really happened while she had been away, focusing more on details of the dreams and her emotional and spiritual growth than on the information about the man she had fallen for and why he had needed saving in the first place. In the end the theory seemed absurd and silly, or at least so she hoped.
Katara listened to her words in silence and asked no questions, but by the time the story was over, the elderly woman seemed deep in contemplation while Korra was starting to panic and began to realize that she was actually starting to believe that she might indeed be 'with child' and the surreal sense of dreamlike theory was starting to fade into a sharp terrifying world of reality.
It was only when Korra got up and began pacing anxiously that Katara finally spoke up.
"Korra, I can't yet tell if your theory is valid or not but like I said yesterday, perhaps it is best if we stay in the moment and not worry about the supernatural implications. I'm not saying to ignore them, just not worry too much." The wise aging healer spoke with worry but warmth and as she watched Korra pacing faster and faster, she added- "And please, calm down."
"Calm down? Calm down?! How…How can I…?" Korra was yelling in reaction to the words but the pacing really was making her woozy so she did attempt to cool down and sit back on the bench. "What am I going to do, Katara?" She looked desperately at the wise master, starting to hyperventilate just like the day before.
"Right now? You and I are going to have some tea with Toph Beifong and really confirm your situation. After that you can panic all you want if you wish but I'm sure everything will be alright."
Korra took the kind words as an order and forced herself to quiet down. She pushed all the theories and worries to the back of her mind under a little 'be right back' sign and focused all her energy only on evening out the breathing before they walked down to the dock in order to await the arrival of an illustrious blind bender for a visit that might change her life forever.
~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~
Toph arrived some time before noon. She was angry and irritable from having to travel on the ferry, she truly detested boats, she couldn't see a thing and being surround only by water was incredibly uncomfortable. Katara had offered to visit but in the end Toph had volunteered to go instead, her old friend never got much time to spend with her sons and the blind bender didn't wish to deprive her of that pleasure, after all she could be with Lin every day if she wished and a little ferry trip wouldn't kill her.
As the vessel moored, she felt the jolt of the hull bumping to the little harbor and her heart skipped a beat, she never admitted it to anyone but being so vulnerable without earth around her still managed to startle her greatly even after so many years.
She heard the voices of Katara and Korra in the distance as they approached steadily. Katara was calm as always but Korra's voice was shaky and when she held out a hand to help Toph off the boat, the blind crone could tell the Avatar's heartbeat was racing magnificently. So it was easy to deduce that they had had the talk already.
"Welcome, my old friend." Katara's warm mellow voice reached Toph's ears.
"Yes, welcome." Korra added hastily.
"Yeah, thanks. Now may I please get to dry land?" Toph was snarky and only relaxed her tense old frame when her bare feet touched the island ground. "Ah, dirt sweet dirt."
Katara smiled a little and took her friend's arm, leading all the way to the temple, with Korra trailing nervously behind them.
"So you told her then." It wasn't a question but Toph tilted her expressionless face towards her friend anyway.
"Yes, I did." Katara replied.
They entered the temple and with a gentle smile, Katara guided Toph to her guest room whilst Korra was left behind to get some tea for the elderly masters. It was an excuse, of course, just so Pema would think it was a private visit between old friends but the little ruse worked nonetheless and soon Korra carried a tray of jasmine tea and berry cakes towards Katara's room. She was so nervous that she forgot to knock and merely walked in, but neither woman seemed to mind.
Korra set the tray on the small low table in the middle of the sparsely decorated quarter, then shut the door and sat next to Katara, facing Toph's hauntingly blank eyes.
"So, um…What-?" Korra was interrupted by Toph's raised hands in front of her face.
"Wait." Toph commanded loudly and Korra noticed that her head was cocked as if she were listening for something.
As they waited, the Avatar noticed that the old earthbender wore a simple and overly large lime and moss colored short sleeved tunic with matching short pants and a wide brown sash. Her headband was a simple metallic gold color and the same dark metal armlet still adorned her crinkly bicep.
"Alright, all clear now." Toph grinned widely and took a sniff. "Oh jasmine tea! The…"
"Solution to any problem." Katara said in unison with Toph and they both chuckled. Korra assumed it was a long-standing private joke.
"Ah, I miss the old dude." Toph sighed with ridiculous exaggeration.
Korra was fidgeting with the edge of her top, feeling the little 'be right back' sign in her mind starting to rattle as all the worries and considerations seemed to want to gush out and flood her senses.
"Can we please get on with this?" Korra whined, frustrated and anxious.
"Seesh, ok ok. So impatient." Toph rolled her head awkwardly. "I'm trying to roll my eyes, am I doing it right?"
"Yes, Toph." Katara replied gentle.
«So impatient…» The words echoed in Korra's mind and she remembered the last time someone had said that to her. It had been Noatak and just the memory gave her goosebumps.
"Oh, oh. Someone's heart just sped up. Are you that freaked out?" Toph snickered a little.
Korra didn't reply and just sulked lightly, anxiously waiting to know whatever it was she had to do.
"I don't hear an answer. Did you nod or something? 'Cause..." the blind bender waved her hand before her eyes repeatedly with good humor. "…remember?"
"She's nervous. Give the girl a break, Toph." Katara spoke warmly rubbing Korra's back quietly.
"Fine, fine. Get over here, kid." Toph patted the floor next to her.
Korra crawled over and sat next to the master. Before she could ask what she was supposed to do, the earthbender was grabbing for her top and pulling it over her head which startled her but squirmed out of the garment anyway and sat there nervously in just her pants and wrappings, thankful that only Katara could see the collection of different toned little marks around her neck.
Toph's rather cool hands then skimmed up her arms and felt around for the right spot on her torso, poking her skin until they fell on her belly. The woman seemed a little lost thanks the wooden floor instead of stone but she didn't really show any frustration and merely stayed still and quiet with her wrinkled snowy white hands on Korra's dark cinnamon skin.
"Hum…" Toph was musing with an unreadable face. "Well, I'm still pretty darn sure there's something in there but I can't sense another heartbeat so it must be under three months. Want to check it out, Katara?"
Korra looked from one woman to the other, feeling like some sort of experiment and sensing the little wall on her thoughts starting to crack, still she stared at Katara trying to still her mind.
"Alright." The master healer replied calmly.
The earthbender removed her hands and Katara uncapped her water skin, bending the liquid onto her hands and letting it glow strongly before setting it on Korra's dusky skin with slow circular movements. It was an eerie sensation, Korra had felt it before, of course, but when there was pain of a wound to heal the sensation was easily disregarded, since there was no hurt now everything just surreal and almost numbing. Korra herself had never mastered healing techniques like this, she could use the water to detect and repair internal injuries to some limited extent but if there wasn't an actually injury or disruption of energy flow there wasn't much she could detect. But Katara was a legend at what she did and if she couldn't find anything in Korra's body then there was really nothing to be found.
After several long minutes of concentration Katara receded and bent the water back into its flask. Toph had grown bored and was leaning back on the table with her dusty feet stretched out while munching on some cakes chewing loudly and yawning.
"Well?" Korra was pulling her top on again, avoiding her master's eyes and mentally begging- «Say it's nothing, say it's nothing, say it's nothing. I'm not ready, please say it's nothing.»
"Well, Korra, I have to agree with Toph- I am fairly certain you're expecting." Katara spoke softly and kindly, setting a hand on Korra's shoulder, possibly because she could predict the outburst that was about to come. "Before you panic, will you give me consent to tell Toph what you told me this morning?"
Korra nodded numbly. Now that the confirmation was out she couldn't quite believe it, she still felt it was a mistake even if her brain told her it wasn't. Her rambling thoughts were back and she barely heard the other women talk as she tried to make sense of things; she was so out of touch with reality that she didn't even feel her nails digging into her palms.
"So, who's the daddy?" Toph elbowed Korra with complicity.
"Toph. That's Korra's business." Katara chided softly.
"Just curious to know who was brave enough to knock up the Avatar." Toph shrugged.
"Toph, that isn't…" Katara began but was interrupted by Korra.
"Can't you ever be serious?!" Korra yelled and stood up angrily.
"I spent most of my adult life having to be serious, I don't see why I can't be myself around friends." Toph replied not really reacting to Korra's tone and still looking ahead of her blankly, although she knew Korra had stood.
"Ah! Whatever!" Korra yelled, huffing and panting with stress and frustration. Deep down she was ashamed of her lack of respect but all she could think about was him.
«How am I ever going to tell Noatak?» The question floated up the swampy mess that was her confused brain and bobbed in her mind unnervingly. Even thinking of his name made her feel warm and terrified all at once and the question was like boulder suddenly being dropped on her chest- she couldn't breathe.