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She didn't want this. She didn't need this. As long as she had Madoka's hair ribbons and bow, she didn't need anything else for the rest of her life, much less friends. Her memory will keep me going.
But they wouldn't leave her alone. Kyouko still mourned the loss of Sayaka, the idiot who in the end had still made her wish just for one night to hear beautiful music. Mami tried many times to convince them to mourn together.
"We don't need her," Homura overheard Kyouko say, "we've got each other. I know we're not the friends we used to be, but..."
"I think we all need each other. Even Homura, no matter how much she won't admit it. I still don't know who this Madoka is, but..."
No one does, Homura thought angrily. Kyouko wept for Sayaka's disappearance, Mami still lived thanks to Charlotte never having become a witch. But only Homura remembered a sweet, gentle, selfless girl who'd sacrificed her own existence for them. She wanted to scream sometimes, how dare you think you know what I need?! None of you understand what I lost!
Kyouko stopped by with food every week. Mami made tea. Every time it became harder and harder to get rid of them, and sometimes Homura felt so desperate for human contact that she let them stay.
They weren't her friends, though. Not even close. Her only friend, the only person she would ever let fuss over her like this, did not exist.
"I don't think this color suits you so well," Mami once commented, reaching out to touch the red bows on either side of her head. Homura slapped her hand away, only to find herself feeling guilty.
"I like it," she said.
"And what's wrong with red, anyway?" Kyouko snorted. Mami smiled sheepishly.
"I only thought to offer some fashion advice. My apologies, Homura."
"It's fine." She wanted to be angry, wanted to shove Mami and Kyouko from her house and her life, but for the life of her she couldn't. She just couldn't.
They're not my friends. They don't mean anything to me, she told herself every day. I'm only tolerating them because that's what Madoka would want. Yes, Madoka. Friend to all, kindest soul ever to not exist. She would want you to be happy.
She'd never be as happy with Kyouko and Mami as she had been with Madoka.
But it was better than being alone.