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“Hyung, he’s been looking at you for the past 10 minutes.”
“Maybe he’s actually looking at you.”
“No, because when I got up to throw away my shit, he was still looking at you.”
Mingi sighed. Jongho’s been giving him updates on this supposed ‘love interest’ that has been staring at him from across the canteen since they arrived. Mingi, unfortunately, could not see very well. It was something he was born with, a big black dot covering most of his sight, making him legally blind. Through his peripherals however, he could see masses, like Jongho who was sitting right next to him. He could see where his tray of food was in front of him, he could probably reach for his small carton of milk and maybe not miss, but he most definitely could not see whoever the hell was staring at him, probably thinking he was weird and awkward for staring off into nothing as he spoke and attempted to shove food successfully into his mouth at the same time.
“He probably just thinks I’m a freak then.” Jongho clicked his tongue in disapproval of how lowly Mingi spoke of himself.
“I really don’t think so. He has this disgustingly soft look on his face. I could throw up.” Mingi smiled at Jongho’s tone, already imagining a scrunched up look on his face. Could he truly see Jongho’s face? Only a little. Very little. He wouldn’t be able to count all the beauty marks on his face, though.
“Let him stare then. With these good looks blessed from the gods, someone has to appreciate them.” Mingi joked as if he didn’t just bag on himself.
“Could hardly call them blessed but whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jongho muttered.
They ate their lunch in slow chatter until Jongho spasmed enough for Mingi to notice.
“What? Did something happen?” Mingi wasn’t sure if he truly saw that.
“Shit, shit. He’s getting up. He’s looking right at you, hyung. He’s coming, shh!” Jongho whispered not so discreetly to him and Mingi wanted to yell at him that he was the one talking, not him.
“Hey, um, Mingi?” Mingi jumped lightly at the somewhat familiar voice referring to him.
“Yeah?” Mingi looked up at where he could see the new person’s silhouette. As his eyes moved around to collect more images of him, he could see that his hair was dark and wavy, and his clothing consisted of a very soft grey sweater and blue jeans.
“I’m San. I’m in your physics class.” He said it like it was a question.
“Oh, yeah. I thought I recognized your voice.” Mingi chuckled awkwardly. He missed the shy smile on San’s face when he heard that though.
“O-oh, yeah. I guess I do talk a little bit too much in that class, huh?” San chuckled nervously before he cleared his throat. “I-I was wondering i-if you, um, if you’d like to study with me today? Or, like, tomorrow if you’re busy today?” Mingi knew his cheeks were turning red, his ears included but he was in a little shock. Why was he asking a blind kid to study with him? Mingi was sure he was going to fail that class. He should be asking him for help.
“Oh! Um, a-are you…are you sure? I mean, I can’t even tell you what he taught us last class.” Mingi shrugged.
“Well, then, I can help you!” San said like it was a great idea. Then why didn’t he propose that to begin with?
“Really? You’d do that? I mean, I’m probably a lost cause, to be honest.” Mingi again, chuckled nervously.
“No, I’m sure you’re not! Don’t say that about yourself. I have some really good notes that I totally did not take from Yeosang. I think we can work something out.” San sounded so hopeful, it almost broke Mingi’s heart.
“O-oh, um, okay, then. I-I’m free today.” San grinned and hopped lightly on his toes.
“Great! I can meet you at the library after school.” Mingi nodded and San bit his lip to stop himself from smiling too big.
“Okay, see you then.”
“See you,” Mingi waved and then San was leaving, walking back to his table where he immediately hid his face in his arms when his friends whooped and cheered for him.
“Why are they cheering?”
“Looks like San got really shy. His friends are hyping him up for finally coming up to you.”
“What?” Mingi slouched. “I’m not that great.”
Jongho rolled his eyes and smacked Mingi’s shoulder, making him jump, not seeing that coming. Literally.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“If I weren’t straight, bro, I’d consider dating you. I know you’re physically blind, but you don’t need eyesight to see that you’re a good person, man. You’re funny and smart and you should really cut yourself some slack.” Mingi felt speechless at what Jongho just said. He’s never said things like that to him.
“Don’t expect me to repeat myself, by the way. This was your congratulations on getting asked out without my help.”
Mingi was sat next to a window in the library after Jongho dropped him off. He had taken out his yellow notebook (because math is yellow okay don’t fucking fight me on this) as well as his textbook and a pencil. Soon, the bell rang. Mingi was always let out a few minutes early with someone as a guide to beat the crowd.
He expected San to be there soon so he decided to waste time on his phone. He held it close to his face and listened to the voice tell him what was on his screen. Oh, he was tagged in a new photo on Instagram. He wondered if it was a good one.
“Hey, Mingi. Sorry, were you waiting too long?” Mingi set down his phone as he heard San set his things down on the spot in front of him.
“Hey. No, no. It wasn’t long. No worries.”
“Okay,” San whispered as he sat down and took out the necessary things to study.
“So, um,” San started, though, he didn’t know what to say.
“Yeah?” Mingi sent him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.
“Ph-physics, right?” Mingi’s smile grew a little, hearing how nervous San was.
“I believe so, yeah?”
“R-right.” San cleared his throat as he flipped through the pages of his notebook, glancing up at Mingi with just his eyes every now and then. Mingi eyes were looking somewhere around San’s chest but he had a small smile playing on his lips.
“Um, in fear of sounding ignorant or…just an asshole, h-how do you take notes in class?” San asked softly.
“Oh! Very badly.” Mingi opened his notebook to reveal half finished work problems, some of them not written straight and some of then just with the answer and now work done for it.
“I mostly rely on Jongho to help me out. He’s like a sponge with these kinds of things.” Mingi took back his notebook.
“Ah, that must be difficult for you, huh?”
“I mean, it’s a bit of an inconvenience but I take tests differently than you guys. I take it on a computer with vocal aids and all that so it’s not that hard. I’m just not that smart in general.” Mingi chuckled nervously and scratched at the back of his head.
“I don’t think so. What grade did you get on the last exam?”
“A 75.” Mingi frowned. “I mixed up the formulas for the last two problems.”
“I got a 75, too. I just didn’t get those last two problems at all. It was like you have to use this formula and then use that answer to apply it to a different formula and I just…blanked. Anyways, enough about that. He said the exams aren’t cumulative anyways.” San realized he was rambling for too long and continued flipping pages until he got to what they learned the last class.
“No, I get it. It was confusing.” Mingi still told him.
“Right, so…kinematics in 2d…” San trailed off, looking at his notes to see if any of it rang a bell. Mingi took a deep breath and let it out.
“I completely blanked in that class.” San laughed.
“Me too, honestly. I tend to space out a lot.” San wouldn’t admit to him just yet that he had a problem with staring at him in class…and in general. It was creepy, wasn’t it?
“I just get lost. My aide tries to help me out and the professor sends me his notes but…I mean like…” Mingi sighed. “There are too many numbers and letters and then having to use calculators, ugh.” San frowned. Here he was complaining about not understanding physics when his eyesight was perfectly fine, he was just not trying to pay attention.
“It’s okay, Mingi. I mean a 75 is still passing and with your, um, dis-disability? Can I say that?”
“Yeah, it’s a physical disability.” Mingi nodded.
“Right, even with that, you manage to get a passing grade. So don’t drag yourself down too much. You’re doing well.” San smiled at him even as Mingi’s eyes moved around trying to see as much of him as he could.
“You’re too nice, San.” Mingi smiled shyly. San shrugged and grinned.
“I just believe in you.”
Since that day, the two of them have gotten closer. San would sit next to Mingi during Physics, Mingi and Jongho would join San and his friends during lunch, and then afterschool, San would walk with him and Jongho to Mingi’s house after discovering San lived just a street over.
This day, however, San walked into Mingi’s house with him.
“This is Uma by the way.” Mingi said when Uma, his Chocolate Lab calmly yet happily walked up to the both of them. Uma was 6 years old and the most precious thing in Mingi’s life. She was trained to be his guide dog until she was diagnosed with thyroid problems and would have seizures under heaps amounts of stress. So, she’s happily retired and Mingi felt like he didn’t need another dog to replace her job just yet.
“Oh, I love animals! Hi, Uma!” He heard San giggle as she probably was licking his face and wagging her tail at him.
“Okay, okay. Don’t steal my dog. She’s mine. Right, Uma?” He used his ‘dog voice’. The high pitched, overly sweet and sugary voice, the kind that made Uma excited and lick his face instead and put a paw on his knee when he kneeled down to her level. He heard San giggle.
“She’s really cute. How old is she?” San pet her head while she sat and panted.
“She’s 6. Do you see her little grey hairs?” Mingi pointed to her chin where he was told she was greying.
“Yeah, I did. She’s looking good, though.” San used his own ‘dog voice’ and it made Mingi giggle this time.
“Let’s go to my room.” Mingi suggested and led him there with Uma following close behind.
“Ah, I like it.” San looked around. All the walls were an off-white except for the wall in which the bed was up against. That wall was a midnight blue with glow in the dark stars stuck all over them.
“That’s so cute.” San walked up to the stars and touched them.
“What is? Oh, the wall? Yeah. Those stars are new. I replaced the old ones so they should be extra bright.” Mingi walked up to his curtains to close them and then closed the door to show how brightly they shone. Mingi couldn’t really tell but that was okay. It was the thought that counted.
“That’s so cool!” Mingi smiled.
“Thanks. Should I turn a light on, or?”
“I mean, I can see fine with just these.” Mingi nodded and sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him. San sat right next to him, their legs and arms touching and Uma settled on her dog bed on the other side of the bed.
“I would imagine that what I’m seeing right now or what I can’t see right now is sort of how it is for you.”
“Hmm, maybe.”
“What can you see normally?”
“Masses, usually. If I’m close enough and if there’s enough light, I could see a bit more of their features but like, if you had a big fat zit on your forehead or something, I couldn’t see that.”
“Oh, thank god. I got a friend on my forehead right now though my hair’s covering it.” San subconsciously patted down his fringe to make sure it was still covering it. Mingi chuckled softly.
“I wouldn’t care if I could see it anyways. I know I got a few friends here, too.” Mingi touched his cheeks and felt the bumps there.
“They’re not bad though. I would still kiss them.” San said so casually that it shocked the both of them.
“W-what?”
“Uhhh, I mean, like…yeah…”
“O-oh,”
“Is that weird?”
“…Just that…w-why would you wanna kiss me of all people?”
“Why do you say it like you’re such a terrible person?” San frowned.
“I’m not that great.”
“Who the hell told you that? I’ll fight them. With my bare fists. Feel my muscles. I can pack a punch.” San lifted his sleeve and flexed his arm but Mingi just laughed it off.
“No, no. Put them away, Sanie. No one said anything to me and I guess that just, like, told me that I’m not that special. I mean, who wants to be with someone who can’t tell when you’re even walking towards them? I can try all I want, but I’ll never know how you truly look like. I mean, doesn’t that upset you?”
“It upsets me that you think no one can find you special. If I knew that’s what you thought, then I would’ve told you the second I first saw you.” San said softly. Mingi still didn’t seem to understand what San was trying to say though.
“Well, it’s fine. Truly. It doesn’t bother me anymore.” Mingi lied right through his teeth.
“Mingi, I think you’re special. I also think you’re really cute and handsome and attractive. I might be a little dumb sometimes but I know Jongho tells you when he catches me staring at you.” San blushed only a little bit but he found some form of relief that Mingi couldn’t see it.
“H-he doesn’t.” San shook his head and chuckled.
“Don’t lie. I know he does. But, that’s okay. When I walked up to you in the cafeteria that other day, it took a lot of my friend’s badgering me to do it. Not because I don’t think you’re approachable or anything, I’m just…shy.”
“You literally screamed ‘Song Mingi good boy’ in the middle of the canteen today. How are you shy?” They both giggled.
“I’m shy when it comes to people I have a crush on.” San said rather boldly, not wanting to beat around the bush anymore.
“O-oh. M-me?” San rolled his eyes.
“Who else, Song Mingi?”
“Y-you have a crush on me?” Mingi put a hand on his chest, gesturing to himself like he had to make sure. San took his hand with both of his and set it on top of Mingi’s knee.
“Yes, you. I thought me telling you that I stare at you a lot would’ve outed me.”
“I thought you just stared because I was blind.”
“That’s…very rude to do and to assume. You’re more than just your blindness, Mingi. There’s more to you than that. And these past few days I’ve spent with you really showed me that.” Mingi almost felt like crying. His eyes burned slightly at the tears that threatened to fall out.
“Oh.” San huffed softly, smiling at Mingi’s slight shock.
“Is it okay if I kiss you on the cheek?” Mingi’s lips twitched as he fought back a nervous smile. He nodded instead of speaking and waited. He felt San getting closer to him, Mingi didn’t dare move his face, not wanting to ruin it. Soon, he felt soft, wet lips kissing him right over where his little bumps were on his cheeks.
“You’re really precious, Mingi-yah.” Mingi grinned, feeling giddy.
The next day at school, San greeted him with a kiss on his cheek. He grabbed Mingi’s head gently to keep it steady and planted a big ol’ one on the same spot he kissed yesterday. Mingi screeched shyly but smiled and reached for San’s hand to hold. Jongho froze next to them, having just witnessed that.
“Uhhhh, what’d I miss?”
“What do you mean?” San asked him since Mingi was still too busy fangirling deep in his soul.
“…Nevermind.”
It would be later that day, a full 24 hours since San first kissed his cheek that Mingi would be asked the question that made Mingi.exe stop working.
“Will you date me? You know, be my boyfriend and stuff?” San cringed at how awkwardly he had asked him. He rehearsed what he was going to say, the exact words that would hopefully initiate their romantic relationship and he said that? But Mingi was already nodding before he finished his second question.
“Really?” San put a hand over his mouth to hide his giddy grin as Mingi nodded again, doing the same thing.
“D-does that mean I can kiss you…here?” San touched Mingi’s bottom lip with his pointer finger and Mingi froze again.
“I-I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“Would you like to?” Mingi slowly nodded and he felt San get closer again. Just like yesterday. It felt like déjà vu except this time, San was tilting his head towards him and a few seconds later, he felt San’s breath hit his lips until finally, they pecked. A cute, nervous, 2 seconds of a peck. When they pulled away, San let his head go and looked away.
San blushed. Mingi blushed. Uma blushed. It was great.
“U-um, one more?” Mingi asked. San giggled.
“If you’re gonna be my boyfriend, we’ll kiss way more than once.” San said before leaning back over to kiss him. This time, Mingi tried to keep him there longer by putting a hand on the side of his face. The next time they pull away, the sound of the kiss was a tad louder, there was the smallest string of saliva that tried to keep them together until it gave up. It brought butterflies to San’s stomach at the sight of it but it brought butterflies to Mingi’s stomach at the feel of it.
“I really don’t think I’ll get used to that.” Mingi admitted and San giggled before pouncing on him. He hugged him tightly as Mingi fell back onto the bed, holding him just as tightly. San dropped a few more kisses onto his cheek before trailing them back to his lips where the kisses grew gentler and slower until they were properly making out.
San had swiped his tongue over Mingi’s bottom lip just once before pulling away, leaving Mingi utterly breathless and slightly cross-eyed for a completely different reason.
San giggled and caressed his face. Now just inches away from him, Mingi could see his smile if he moved his eyes a little more up. It was perfect, he was perfect.
“You should smile more, it looks good on you.” San blushed.
“Good thing I’m always smiling around you, then.” It was cheesy but Mingi lowkey really liked that.
The next day when San would greet him at school, it was with a peck on the lips, leaving Jongho once again, frozen in shock.
“Okay, great. Congratulations. I’m happy for you two. Thank you for telling me, traitor.” Jongho hit Mingi on the shoulder which Mingi overdramatically reacted to. He grunted in ‘pain,’ held the afflicted area, doubled over, and scrunched his eyes while leaning more towards San who put an arm around him to ‘protect him’.
“Hey! Don’t hit my boyfriend like that!” San hit Jongho’s shoulder in retaliation then hugged Mingi.
“He’s just being a baby! I barely touched him.”
“Tell that to my growing bruise! Oh my god! I need a doctor. Oh, no. I can’t see! Is that normal?!” San and Jongho giggled at the act Mingi was putting on. Mingi blinked a few times and searched for someone with his hands out. He found Jongho and put his hands on his shoulders.
“Sanie? Is this my boyfriend? Kiss me, Sanie.” Then with puckered lips, Mingi slowly moved forward, causing Jongho to screech in gay panic and try to move away but Mingi’s grip was tight on him.
“San hyung! Collect your man!” San laughed and clapped his hands before doing that.
“I’m here, honey. I’m here.”