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Bucky doesn’t see the big fuss with the bears. They don't even get the costume right. As if he’d ever wear little sky-blue booty shorts with tights and thigh-high boots. In war, of all things.
"I think they’re cute," Steve says, smiling as he picks one off of the stand.
"Don’t buy that." Bucky says, snatching it out of his hand. Steve just picks up another one.
"You used to collect Captain America comic books back in the day," Steve points out. "And read all the really embarrassing bits aloud in the mess."
"That’s different." Bucky sniffs. "Those were a riot. This is character assassination.”
Steve laughs. “Maybe if we gave him a little bottle of bourbon and a tiny sniper rifle?”
—
He finds one on Natasha’s bed.
"I can explain." She says, walking in to find him staring at it. He turns to look at her and she grins. "Actually, there’s nothing to explain. I’ve just always wanted to say that."
"I feel like you’re stepping out on me," Bucky says, picking up the bear. It even smells like Natasha, like it had been snuggled against her neck night after night while Bucky was mucking through the swamps of Panatal. He is jealous.
"That’s such an adorable accusation I can't even get angry at you," Natasha says, plugging in her hair straightener and fixing her makeup in the mirror as it heats up.
Bucky squeezes the bear as hard as he can, making its little glass eyes bug out of the domino mask.
—
"Uh huh," Sam says unsympathetically, slurping on his three berry smoothie. "Yeah talk to me when Falcon Bear gets so popular that Natasha cuddles one to sleep every night. Then I’ll cry with you."
"That would be weird, though." Bucky says, stirring his own strawberry banana smoothie. "A bear with wings?"
"A Falcon bear."
"But it would be a bear, but also a bird?"
"No, it would be a bear in a Falcon suit-" Sam smacks Bucky on the arm as Bucky starts cracking up.
—
For Christmas, Bucky buys a plain brown bear and digs out an old leather jacket of his that had gotten torn up on a mission. Painstakingly, he sews a little leather Falcon harness, complete with a full set of wings painted silver. And little goggles to boot.
It looks so good that he makes a little Black Widow bear too, choosing a bear with reddish-colored fur and scouring the internet for weeks to find an hourglass charm he can use to make the belt buckle.
Captain America already has a bear, though it had never attained the popularity of Bucky Bear. So Bucky makes a Steve bear. Complete with a gingham shirt tucked into khaki pants, and an artfully rumpled trench coat. In one paw it holds a falsified army recruitment form.
"Wow, that’s so thoughtful," Clint says, when he sees them. "Way to blow all of us out of the present-giving water forever, you douchebag."
"Oh these aren’t gifts," Bucky says lightly, packing them in boxes. "These are revenge.”
—
Falcon, Black Widow and preserum Steve Rogers bears hit the stores a month before Christmas, and quickly become the best selling toys of 2014, quickly outstripping the classic Bucky Bear, who most modern children could no longer associate with The Avengers.
"Really?" Steve demands, "A falsified army recruitment form?"
"I think it’s cute," Bucky laughs, eyeing the shelves and shelves of bears. "A riot.”