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The mission had been a total success in that they managed to get in and out with the information they needed.
As always, there had been several parts of the operation, some of which required work to be done outside of their Lions. None of the Paladins particularly liked those parts. They all felt stronger in the safety of their Lions, where they were able to form into Voltron. But giant robots couldn’t sneak into buildings to get to heavily guarded Galran secrets very well.
They went on foot, hoping to try and avoid drawing attention to themselves. There were three separate fortresses they needed to get into, so the team split up. Lance and Hunk took one, Keith and Pidge took another, and Shiro went to the last one on his own. It had taken many assurances that he would be fine, and promises that he would radio the others the instant it looked like something was going wrong. So they (reluctantly) went ahead with their plan.
It was fairly straight-forward. They started out together, moving as a team to get Pidge into the central hub to cut off the main power supply to the rest of the base. With clear instructions from one of the spies instilled there, it didn’t take them too long to accomplish it.
Then came the trickier part of the mission, that required them to break off from one another. Keith and Pidge took the largest building that they had just been in, figuring that it probably had the most information available. They all knew that Pidge was quick with getting in and stealing intelligence, and Keith could always be relied upon to watch her back. Hunk and Lance took the second largest building to the left; Hunk was every bit as capable as Pidge at working tech to his advantage, and Lance’s ability with his gun gave Hunk an extra boost of security that let him focus on the task at hand.
Shiro took the last, smallest building. It was safe to assume that there wouldn’t be much need for cracking codes there, so his job was more scouting and drawing soldiers away from the others if needed. Most of his time was spent waiting for word from one of the others to create a diversion. Of course, he still paused at every computer he came across just to be sure- not that he had any idea of what he was doing. Even if he had half of Pidge’s or Hunk’s abilities in hacking, he had no way of reading Galran to know if he was looking at something crucial. At the moment, he just needed to focus on the other roles he was playing.
“Hey?” Lance’s voice hissed through the comms, almost making Shiro jump. “I’m hearing footsteps outside the room Hunk and I are in, and he’s still got work to do. Can anyone do something or do I need to start shooting?”
“On it.” Diversion time. Shiro’s mind raced as he started thinking of ways to get attention. He didn’t want to be seen yet, so he’d have to be careful. It would’ve been nice to know where patrols were. Timing would be so much easier that way. But as it was, he didn’t have any clue as to when the closest guard was going to come, and he had to do something. He only hoped he could run fast enough to get away once he found his opportunity.
He turned a corner and the next thing he knew, there was a Galran gun pointed right at his chest. Opportunity found. And it became clear that this particular opportunity was more of a ‘shoot first, questions later’ kind of asshole when the blaster began whirling on. Some base instinct had Shiro throwing his arm up in front of him just in time to cover his vital areas. His ears rang as he heard the tell-tell blast that let him know that shots had been fired. For a brief second, it looked like he had been missed altogether, but then something was smashing into his prosthetic arm so hard, he was thrown back several paces.
He needed to get this guy taken care of before he had a chance to shoot again. His Galran arm wasn’t lighting up, and he couldn’t feel a single thing with it. So he had no weapons with which to fight this freaking guard. Great. He didn’t have time to come up with a complex plan, so Shiro just did the first thing that popped in his head. Charge the opponent down, yelling bloody murder. Luckily, he managed to shoulder check the distracted sentry hard enough to knock him to the ground, where Shiro could kick him in the head until he stayed down. Not the prettiest of solutions, but it worked.
The pain hadn’t followed immediately, and that had him hoping that there wouldn’t be any. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Apparently adrenaline had fueled him before and took the edge off, because when he looked down and saw his prosthetic totally mangled, a horribly intense flamed up the arm and across his shoulder.
Shiro had broken a bone before, but he didn’t remember it hurting nearly as bad as this. Haggar- this had to be her doing. He knew she didn’t want him to be able to take it off. She must’ve programmed some stupid countermeasure system to prevent that. Most likely, she was the only one who would know how to take it off without hurting him. Or maybe not. The witch was one hell of a sadist, she probably didn’t care if it hurt or not coming off. And whatever was happening hurt. It wasn’t even his real arm, damn it. It shouldn’t hurt when it broke. But it did. Apparently it was somehow attached to his nervous system. Of course, Shiro felt rather stupid for not having figured that out earlier- it had to be attached somewhere, or else he couldn’t have controlled it in the ways he did.
The last time Shiro could remember experiencing this much pain, he had been a Galran prisoner. He was fighting his hardest not to slip into a flashback, but once he felt them coming on, it was nearly impossible to prevent. The ache in his shoulder... it was just like... like when they’d cut off his real arm. Damn it, now wasn’t the time to remember that!
Luckily, the team was there to keep him grounded. Listening to them whispering reports to each other helped to keep him present, even if he didn’t partake in the conversation aside from an occasional hum of confirmation when asked if he was doing okay. Not much point in mentioning that he was injured and risk them giving up on their tasks to merge on his location.
But no matter what they said, they couldn’t keep the physical pain away. And he still had a job to finish. He was nothing if not determined. He had work to do, and he’d be damned if he let anything less than capture or death stop him from that.
It must’ve been then that the body of the Galran he fought had been found, because a loud voice boomed throughout the entire base. “All personnel to building H-03. We have an intruder. Repeat, all personnel to building H-03.”
“Shiro? You okay? Was that you?”
“I’m good,” Shiro confirmed, hoping he didn’t sound as breathless as he felt. “On my way out before too many of them show and they lock down the building. You guys need to get to the Lions too. Stick with your partners and go.”
All that was easier said than done. Already the place was crawling with enemies, and more were arriving by the dozens. And he had no means of defending himself- hell, he was having a hard time even pushing through the pain to make his escape. Fighting his way out was unthinkable. All he could do was dart through the dark hallways and stick to the shadows to avoid detection. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before. Hell, he’d done it on multiple occasions. This one would be no different, even if he was fighting an almost debilitating pain shooting through his entire body.
‘Get back. Just get back to your Lion. Get back. Get back. Get back.’ It became a mantra in his mind, chanting incessantly like he was at risk of forgetting. It wasn’t that of course; he needed something to focus on that wasn’t the electric ache enveloping him.
He forced himself to keep moving the entire way. If he stopped, even for just a second, he knew it was very likely that he wouldn’t be able to start back up again, and that just wouldn’t do. So he pushed on, ignoring everything that wasn’t putting one foot in front of the other and listening to the voice in his head that was practically screaming at him by now, demanding to be heard.
He almost started crying when he spotted the Black Lion ahead of him. Unfortunately none of the other Lions seemed to be moving. The others weren’t back yet. Wasting no time, Shiro started to contact the others, even as he was passing through the threshold of the Black Lion. Before he could get any words out, he fell silent when he heard panting and the sound of feet hitting the ground behind him. A look back revealed Keith sprinting into view, closely followed by Lance, then Hunk, then Pidge, who was doing her best to keep up. She was fast, but there was no denying the long-legged boys had an advantage over her.
Without waiting for any orders, the younger Paladins split up and raced to their respective Lions and took off.
The flight back to the Castle was quiet- the only sound was the rather ragged panting that came from everyone as they tried to catch their breath. It was a lot of running to do over uneven terrain in an atmosphere that they weren’t quite designed to fit in.
The first thing Shiro did when he landed safely was to stumble straight to Coran for help. Anything to stop- or even just to dull the pain. The Altean helped about as much as trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
“I’m afraid there’s not really much we can do here,” Coran said matter-of-factly. “Your arm is a machine, and nothing in this infirmary is meant to treat that. I would suggest finding Hunk or Pidge. I’d imagine one of them would have the tools necessary to get you fixed up. I would offer to do it myself, but unfortunately those two have managed to run off with the majority of my equipment. I won’t be much help.”
Shiro groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. More walking around, less actually getting something to lessen the terrible pain that had taken up shop on his entire right side. “Any clue where they might be?”
“Well, number five often stays in her Lion’s hangar after returning to the Castle. Says it helps her think. I’m not sure where Hunk might’ve gotten off to. But I’m sure he’s around!”
“I guess I’ll go check on Pidge then. Keep an eye out for Hunk on the way.”
Coran nodded, turning back to the pod he was in the middle of cleaning and putting away.
The Green Lion’s hangar was the farthest away from the infirmary. Red was the closest- having the more impulsive Paladin usually meant having a Paladin who was injured more often than the others. Then it went Blue, Black, and Yellow, finally stopping at Green. Shiro’s long legs got him there before too long though, and soon enough he was standing in the giant doorway and watching Pidge work on whatever she was bent over now.
“Pidge? I could use some help.” Pidge jumped, but then looked up as Shiro approached her and smiled. Until her eyes landed on his arm and her jaw dropped.
“Shit! What happened? Are you alright? Here, come sit down,” Pidge said, nodding at a seat close to her.
“Got on the wrong side of a gun. Luckily I got my arm up in time to keep from getting shot in the chest. Unluckily, it hurts like a bitch. Do you think you could fix it? I couldn’t find Hunk anywhere.”
“Sure, I’ll take a crack at it.”
They were both quiet as she set to work, straightening out the metal and carefully reattaching the various networks that let him move the arm. It hurt like hell and was pretty slow going, but Shiro did his best to power through, only wincing three or four times through the process. He’d rather the job be done right instead of just being thrown back together. Too many risks, doing that. He couldn’t have it shutting down or something when they were in the middle of a fight.
It took almost an hour for her to put the finishing touches on.
“Okay, I think I got it. How does that fee- wait- oh, fuck-” Shiro felt his arm move at the same time Pidge’s breath caught. He glanced over to see why she had jerked his arm towards herself and his stomach dropped when he saw her.
His Galran arm had lit up on its own accord and was squeezing her forearm. Hard. She was staring at it in horror, trying desperately to pull away from the grip that was burning her skin. “Shiro- fuck, Shiro-”
Quickly, he jerked his hand away. But not before damage was done. Her skin had blistered red and sizzled terribly. She let out an awful choked sound that made Shiro wince. “Sh-shit... Pidge, are- I’m so sorry- Katie, I’m so sorry.”
She wasn’t looking at him. Instead, she stared at the hand-shaped burn on her arm, with her opposite hand hovering just above it.
“It’s not...” she trailed off to hiss through her teeth. Shiro was actually impressed with how stoic her face was. The grimace she wore made it look like she had simply come across something unpleasant. “You-”
“It’s okay, Katie, you don’t have to say anything,” Shiro said after taking what was meant to be a calming breath. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what she was going to say after that ‘you.’ “Here, stand up. Come on, we’re going to get you to the infirmary and all bandaged up. It’ll be okay. Can you walk?”
A dumb question. It wasn’t her leg that was injured. It was her arm that he had just burned.
Pidge inadvertently jerked away when Shiro tried to take her uninjured arm and assist her. He wasn’t sure if the gesture was made to make him feel bad or not, but man, did he feel terrible. He did his best to swallow around the lump in his throat and lead her to where there was more help than he could offer, but it was hard to think anything beyond ‘shit, I hurt Pidge,’ and she managed to get ahead of him.
She seemed to be getting along okay without his guidance, and he wasn’t sure if he should still follow her. But it wasn’t like he could just stand there in the Green Lion’s hangar. For one thing, it felt like he was intruding upon her space by being there without her. And for another, he knew that there was a risk that the Green Lion might attack him if he stayed. The Lions tended to be protective of their Paladins- they didn’t take well to them suffering injuries. Or the things that caused the injury. So he followed behind Pidge awkwardly, weaving through the Castle of Lions to find Coran. The ship’s medic. As frustrating as it was, they had no way of contacting him directly. The only option they had was-
“Coran? Pidge needs some first aid, we’re on our way to you now,” Shiro announced through the intercoms on the Castle. It was the only way he could think of to reach Coran, even if it meant broadcasting it to all the others too. He wasn’t bothered all too much by the dirty look she shot him- it wasn’t like the others wouldn’t find out eventually. Might as well do it sooner rather than later.
There wasn’t much else he could do but continue to trail her and try to think of something to say beyond ‘I’m so sorry, it was an accident, I promise.’ Given that he had no clue what exactly had just happened, it was impossible to judge how he should approach her; no doubt he would end up saying the wrong thing and end up making her even more mad at him.
When they reached their destination, they found Allura, Lance, and Keith already waiting for them impatiently.
“What happened?” Keith demanded, wide-eyed and worried.
“Pidge, are you alright?” Allura asked at the same time. “How serious is it? You don’t need a pod, do you?”
“It’s f-fine, okay! I’m not going in a pod for this,” Pidge insisted, managing a firm tone despite gritting her teeth. She knew they meant well, but damn was their mother-henning annoying, and she wasn’t in the mood for it. “It’s a little burn. Just give me some bandages and some of that pain ointment crap and I’ll be good to go.”
With an exasperated sigh, Allura hurried forward to usher Pidge through the doors, muttering something that sounded rather disparaging of Pidge’s stubbornness. She didn’t wait for the others to do anything before they were away.
Shiro was frozen in place until Keith walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Shiro? What happened?”
At least that jerked him from his stupor, and he looked around at the others. Rather than answering, Shiro’s mouth opened, then closed, and then he surprised them by turning around and walking off, instead of going left to the medical bay. “Come on,” Lance said, growing irritated. “Keith, let’s just leave him be. He’ll talk to us when he’s ready, I guess.”
Keith gave once last concerned glance in Shiro’s direction, but ultimately went with Lance to check on Pidge. They didn’t quite reach the door when Allura was walking through it with an irritated scowl. Her frown only deepened when she looked up to find that Shiro wasn’t with them. “Pidge is in with Coran. Where is Shiro? What happened?” she demanded again.
“I have no idea,” confessed Keith. “Shiro is acting really weird. I mean, I get why he’s upset- Pidge is like his little sister, he’s super protective of her. But I don’t know why he won’t talk to us.”
It didn’t make any sense. There was no reason that could explain Shiro’s reaction, unless... unless he was somehow involved. That thought seemed to pass through all three of their minds at the same time, judging from the uneasy look they shared. None of them wanted to voice it though.
Then Hunk arrived. He looked like he was about to start asking questions, but he stopped when he read the room. “Oh no- please tell me Pidge didn’t die.”
“No Hunk, Pidge is just hurt, she’s going to be fine,” Allura promised. “We just don’t know how she got hurt in the first place. And Shiro... isn’t talking to us.”
“You guys don’t think...?”
“No,” Keith said, with conviction that he didn’t exactly have, “Shiro would never hurt her.”
“It... it’s the only thing that could’ve happened. It’s not like they were attacked on the ship, or we would’ve heard something. And even if they somehow were, Shiro was uninjured. And there’s no way he would’ve let anything happen to her without putting up a fight.”
“You’re right, Lance.” Shiro had snuck in without warning, and everyone jumped. “Is she okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine,” Allura said rather impatiently. “What do you mean, ‘Lance is right’?”
“I mean it was me who hurt her. I didn’t mean to. She was just finishing up fixing my arm- I didn’t move on purpose, and I sure as hell didn’t activate it on purpose. I would never hurt her.” Shiro’s voice was growing desperate, like he really wanted someone to tell him that he wasn’t a monster.
The lack of reassurance he was offered made his heart ache.
“Then... how did it happen?” Keith asked.
“I don’t know. One minute she was saying she was done, then the next she was...” he gestured helplessly to the door Allura had guided her through. The suspicious look he got from everybody was almost enough to make him cry. That they might be thinking of him as an enemy right now was unbearable. If he were in their shoes though, would he really be reacting so differently? And he knew that their caution was a good thing- he’d be worried if they were quick to forgive someone hurting one of their own. It was just the fact that it was aimed at himself right now that he didn’t like.
“Shiro-“
Suddenly an overwhelming need to be away from the scrutiny he was under came over him.
“Look, I'll just... go,” Shiro interrupted lamely, turning to walk away with downcast eyes.
“What should we do? Can... do you think we can trust him?” Lance looked dubious as he stared through the door through which their hunched-over leader had just left. It was an upsetting thought; Shiro was the one each of them would turn to if they needed any kind of support. He was their rock.
“Of course we can. There has to be some other explanation. We just need to ask Pidge.” Keith was firm in his resolve. He knew Shiro- his big brother, the one who had always believed in him, there was no way he would betray them.
As if he’d summoned her, Pidge came striding out of the room. Her arm was bandaged, and the expression on her face read ‘do not fuck with me right now.’
“Pidge! Are you okay? What happened?” Allura asked yet again impatiently, ignoring the blatant attitude Pidge was putting on. She wanted to get to the bottom of this.
“It’s fine, it wasn’t that serious,” Pidge replied, sounding almost equally impatient. “Where did Shiro go?”
“Not sure. He ran off. Why did-”
“Go ask Coran, he’ll tell you what happened. I need to go smack some sense into Shiro.” Pidge was marching out of the room and waving her hand behind her dismissively. It was impossible to say if she meant that literally or not. On one hand, he deserved it, at least a little. On the other hand, Shiro was much bigger than she was, and he had just hurt her. It was tempting to follow her, just to see how it played out. But Pidge seemed to be in a bit of a mood, so they collectively (and silently) agreed to let her go alone.
•••
When he got back to his room, Shiro sighed and studied his Galran arm. The stupid, evil, dangerous thing. Was there a single good thing about it? Thinking back, Shiro couldn’t come up with anything remotely positive that it had proved itself capable of. Except for being able to power other Galra tech, there really wasn’t much that could be said in the arm’s defense. They would be better off without it. But there was no way he could ask anyone to risk helping him. Not after what had just happened. Looking at it, Shiro suddenly found himself getting angry, angrier than he’d ever been before. Angrier than he’d thought himself capable of being.
None of this would’ve happened with his real arm. Pidge would be just fine if he wasn’t wearing the prosthetic from hell.
It didn’t even work very well as a weapon. He basically just had one of the meanest bitch-slaps in the universe. An outdated bitch slap, according to Sendak. When the enemy was fighting with something that provided some range, he couldn’t strike until he was in arm’s reach. That was a serious flaw when the enemy had guns. Which they almost always did.
He couldn’t help it. The rage just bubbled over, and he needed to do something to get it out. With a growl, Shiro jumped up and swung his fist as hard as he could at a wall, leaving a dent in it. That didn’t help. He needed more. His growl turned into a shout, and then a scream. He needed to break something. So he went on a rampage. Anything in his room was fair game. He tore through it like a tornado, punching, kicking, throwing everything he could. The warpath through his bedroom didn’t spare anything.
But none of it made him feel better. He’d destroyed much of his room. Looking down once again at his arm, he realized that nothing in his room was what he’d really wanted to break.
The arm. He wanted- needed- it to be gone. Without really knowing what he was doing, Shiro dropped to his knees, clenching his fists tightly. He sat there a moment, trying to pull himself together. His teeth ground together, and it didn’t take long for him to realize he was shaking. He just needed to calm down-
“Fuck!” he screamed again, lurching forward to slam his Galran arm down against the floor. He did it again and again, ignoring the ache in his throat and the pain that was starting to snake up his arm to his shoulders. That didn’t matter- he just needed to get this stupid fucking thing off of him, needed it to break again, he hated it so much, it needed to be gone, gone, gone-
“Are you really gonna break it right after I fixed it up?” Pidge managed to sneak up on Shiro and startle him. He quickly sat up on his knees and looked around, wiping at his face, for all the good it did him.
“S-sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to break it with anything in here anyway.”
“So... how’s this goin’?”
“Fine.” he answered hoarsely, still sitting on the floor and looking the exact opposite of fine. “How are you?”
“All better,” Pidge replied brightly, looking to draw a smile out of him. She held her arm up to display several layers of bandages wrapped around where he had grabbed her. “See? All fixed up. It wasn’t even that serious. It was pretty much on par with burns I give myself all the time when I’m working, just a tiny bit bigger. I think Coran went a little overboard on the bandages, but he gave me some of those nice Altean pain killers, so I’m feelin’ good. The others told me you ran off.”
She didn’t get a response as he rose to his feet in front of her. Hell, he wasn’t even looking at her.
“Shiro,” Pidge said softly after a minute. “I don’t blame you. I tried to tell you, it wasn’t your fault. The Galrans who put that arm on you put in some kind of self-defense mechanism. Probably to keep people from taking it off. I just didn’t notice until it was too late. If I had to guess, only the people who... installed it would know how to mess with it without activating it.”
That didn’t make it much better in Shiro’s mind. It had still been his arm that hurt her. Nothing could make that right. He doubted he would ever be able to look her in the eyes again. Still, she was looking for a response. “Thanks, Pidge. But that doesn’t make it alright. If anything, it means I’m stuck with this thing.”
“No it doesn’t. Now that we know that it’s been programmed that way, we can start looking for ways around it. Fuck, if nothing else, we’ll just strap your arm down so it can’t move when we work on it.” Pidge’s eyes shone with determination, almost like she was looking forward to it.
Shiro couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. It was hard for him to disagree with her when she got that look. “You really need to start watching your language. One of these days you’re going to drop the f-bomb in front of some ambassador and just totally screw things up.”
“I heard you saying ‘shit’ earlier. I think ‘bitch’ was thrown out there too. Lead by example, man, you’ve got kids looking up to you.”
That got a laugh, and Pidge grinned. Goal achieved. But Shiro’s smile was short-lived, and faded all too quickly. “I really am sorry, Katie. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I just told you that you didn’t! It wasn’t you, it was the Galra, okay? You know how I know it wasn’t you? Because I know you would never hurt me.” Pidge raised her voice to speak over Shiro whenever it looked like he was going to protest. “It’s pointless to get mad at yourself for something you didn’t do, right? Besides, it wasn’t even that bad, so just shut up about it!”
She was the hardest person to argue with. Even harder than Keith, because she backed her passion with facts. He sure as hell couldn’t argue the main point she was making; he would rather jump in a volcano than hurt her. Some part of him felt like he should scold her on the ‘shut up’ thing- rude phrasing and whatnot- but he decided against it. You really had to pick your battles with her. It wasn’t like it was something she did all the time. To him, at least.
“You’re really okay then?”
“I really am, Shiro. And I’m not mad at you.”
Despite not being totally convinced, Shiro nodded, looking down on his youngest Paladin fondly.
Pidge took that as a win. With a small, loopy smile, she leaned in and rested her head on his chest. Her eyes drifted shut as her arms wrapped around his waist loosely.
Shiro looked down at her in surprise. Usually Pidge was only affectionate when overwhelming emotions demanded she get some human contact. It took him a moment to finally work out the look of incredible peace on her face and her increasing dependence on him to remain upright. “Pain medication starting to kick in?”
A small hum was all he got in reply, and Shiro realized that she was quite literally falling asleep where she stood. Sighing heavily, Shiro bent his knees and scooped her up easily in his arms, ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him that his Galran arm shouldn’t be anywhere near her and started to carry her to her room. “Right. Let’s get you to bed. It’s been a long day. You deserve some rest.”
“Mm. Sounds good. You too though. Always feel better after sleep.”
Well, she had a point there. Nothing healed quite so well as a good long nap.