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Another day, another virgin sacrifice. Wei Wuxian sighs. Such is the life of the Yiling Patriarch, the local malevolent demigod. He used to live in relative obscurity, until a few months ago when some idiot disrupted his peace and quiet by spreading completely untrue rumors about him. And now, not only does he have an undeservedly terrible reputation, he also has to deal with weekly virgin deliveries from frightened Yiling villagers. Ugh!
Seriously, why do these villagers keep offering him maidens? Does he seem like that type of guy? Sure, he’s killed a good handful of people and seriously maimed one or two or five thousand cultivators, but… Okay, you know what? Maybe he does deserve that terrible reputation. But never mind that. The point is, he’s had enough of these virgins. This needs to stop.
“Excuse me,” Wei Wuxian calls out from the entrance of his cave (he’s the demigod in charge of demonic cultivation, not an architect). “Hi. This is the Yiling Patriarch. Young lady in the sedan chair, please go home.”
No response. Wei Wuxian walks closer and tries again. “I said, you can go home. I don’t want your virginity, miss. I’ve told you villagers a thousand times, send me potatoes instead! It’s not a joke, I can’t get them to grow properly in this terrible soil.”
Silence once again. Humans these days are getting ruder and ruder!
“Hey! Did you hear me? Virgins: no. Potatoes: yes!” Wei Wuxian puts his hands on his hips, patience running thin fast. In fact, he’s starting to wonder if anyone is even inside the sedan chair in the first place. Hm, maybe the villagers filled it with explosives instead. Not that it would kill him. If anything’s going to kill him, it’s the persistence of these villagers with their damn virgin sacrifices. What part of “actually, could I get some bok choy or lotus root instead” do they not understand? The Yiling Patriarch demands fresh produce! Do you hear him?! Fresh produce!
Wei Wuxian yanks the curtains of the sedan chair open, and…
No explosives. No virgin either. Huh! Just a man with a sword sitting there. A really pretty man with long eyelashes and silky black hair and a perfect body.
A really, really pretty man who also happens to be really, really scantily clad.
Huh.
“Ahem,” Wei Wuxian coughs after a long moment of silence. He wills himself to tear his eyes away from the pretty man’s exposed chest and abs. “W…where is my virgin?”
“I am the virgin,” the man says, expressionless.
Oh. Okay. That makes sense, sort of. But what about—
“—the sword? You… you have a sword.” Wei Wuxian drops his eyes down to the sword in the man’s lap. To be honest, he’s just looking for an excuse to check out the man’s strong thighs, which are barely concealed by the translucent fabric of his pants.
“Yes,” the man explains, still expressionless, “I came here to kill you.”
Ohh. Okay, now that makes more sense. Really, the man looks and acts nothing like a normal virgin sacrifice. Plus, he has an aura about him that tells Wei Wuxian he’s definitely a powerful cultivator, despite his skimpy attire. The man’s robes are loose and flowy and almost completely sheer except in some key regions. (Seriously, it’s downright slutty. Wei Wuxian tries not to ogle too obviously.)
So it shouldn’t be possible to take this barely clothed man’s death threat seriously, yet it’s clear from the tone of his voice and his facial expression (or lack thereof) that he isn’t joking around. But Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to die yet! Especially not now, when he’s so very interested in this particular virgin!
The problem is, Wei Wuxian has no idea what he’s doing. After all, he’s carefully guarded his virginity for over two hundred years. How does one attempt to seduce a virgin sacrifice? Is seduction even necessary, or is sex a given if the two parties involved are an allegedly malevolent demigod and the virgin being offered up to the demigod in question? Good heavens, he can’t afford to commit an embarrassing faux pas here, not when his reputation is already in shambles.
The sound of a sword being unsheathed jolts Wei Wuxian from his thoughts.
“Wait, wait, wait! I have something to say,” he yells, staring down at the sword that’s now being pointed at his chest, just a hair away from his vital organs. To his surprise, the man glares at him but doesn’t make a move. He’s waiting for me to finish my thought, Wei Wuxian realizes.
Here goes nothing!
“Ahem. I, the Yiling Patriarch, accept this offering,” he declares confidently. Then, in a lower, more sheepish voice, he adds, “That is, uh, I would like to sleep with you.”
The man narrows his eyes for a moment before starting to make a motion with his sword like he’s really going to kill Wei Wuxian.
“Oh, come on!” Wei Wuxian wails, bending his torso backwards to avoid the attack. “I’m trying to seduce you!”
“It’s not working!” the man says a little too quickly, his brows furrowing and his mouth twisting into a scowl. It’s an incredibly obvious lie, especially when he’s been not-so-subtly stealing glances at Wei Wuxian’s cleavage this whole time.
“Aha, so you can move your face!” Seeing the man’s unexpected reaction, Wei Wuxian pounces on the opportunity to tease him. “Hehe, you look good when you’re angry.”
“Ridiculous!” If the man was angry before, he’s furious now. His movements become increasingly aggressive, sword swinging towards Wei Wuxian with unprecedented precision and force.
Oh, this is getting fun, Wei Wuxian thinks. He truly did not expect it to be this easy to rile him up. “By the way,” Wei Wuxian says casually, “if you’re going to kill me, then at least tell me your name.”
“Lan Zhan,” the man replies coldly, his attacks not slowing down one bit. “Courtesy name Wangji.”
Wei Wuxian cackles gleefully as he just barely dodges the relentless swings of the blade. “I’m sure you’ve heard of me already, so I won’t introduce myself!” he laughs. They’re almost evenly matched, only because Wei Wuxian has no weapon on hand and is sorely out of practice (two hundred years out of the limelight will do that to a guy). Even so, it’s impressive for a human cultivator to be able to hold up against a centuries-old demigod. So not only is this Lan Wangji a gorgeous beauty with a perfectly sculpted body, he’s also a high-level cultivator with exceptional swordsmanship. Wei Wuxian swoons in his heart.
I bet his dick is huge too, he fantasizes, practically drooling. Those skimpy robes really leave nothing to the imagination!
Then all of a sudden, Wei Wuxian feels himself falling backwards. He was so distracted by his own inappropriate thoughts that he almost didn't notice Lan Wangji’s attack, forcing him to dodge sideways awkwardly at the last moment. The delayed reaction caused him to lose his footing and trip over a pebble, of all things. How embarrassing!
Wei Wuxian lands ungracefully on his ass. “Ah, it hurts!” he whines. Eyes glistening with unshed tears, he props himself up with his arms and looks up at Lan Wangji with a pout. “How could you do this to me…”
Lan Wangji stands firm and unmoving, his sword pointed at Wei Wuxian’s neck. He stares down at him with a look of anger mixed with another emotion that Wei Wuxian is unable to read.
“Alright fine, just kill me. I’ve lived a good life,” Wei Wuxian sighs dramatically, realizing he’s probably not going to lose his virginity today. “Hm, actually, not really? It’s been a pretty shitty couple hundred of years haha, but uh… Anyway. Go ahead! Do your worst.”
Wei Wuxian squeezes his eyes shut. He hears the rustling of clothing and feels the sword lower gently from his neck, tracing down from his collarbones to the middle of his chest. For a long while, nothing happens. If it weren’t for the sword poking at his chest, Wei Wuxian would almost think that the other man’s already fled.
He feels the tip of the blade lift from his chest. Then, he hears the sound of the sword slashing through the air and senses a burst of spiritual energy all around his body. And finally, suddenly, he feels… nothing at all?
Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in time to see Lan Wangji sheathing his sword. “I knew you weren’t going to kill me! Hehe, I knew Lan-gongzi couldn’t be that cruel,” he exclaimed, smiling brightly. The man still has that unreadable expression on his face, but this time his ears are bright pink and his eyes are cast down toward the ground. Cute.
But then Wei Wuxian looks down and finds that he’s completely naked, the remnants of his robes scattered underneath him across the grass. Oh. That’s what that spiritual energy was. So then instead of killing him, Lan Wangji destroyed his clothing! Huh? What for?! Does he intend to embarrass him to death?!
Not knowing whether he should laugh or cry, Wei Wuxian settles for complaining instead. “I can’t believe you’ve done this,” he wails, trying to cover himself up. “Those were my favorite robes. They were my only robes!”
Lan Wangji stares at him wordlessly. Dissatisfied with the lack of response and feeling increasingly self-conscious under Lan Wangji’s unwavering gaze, Wei Wuxian grumbles, “Fine, you win! You’ve defeated me. The Yiling Patriarch is going back to his cave now. Goodbye!”
Wei Wuxian isn’t even halfway up when he’s harshly shoved back down onto the ground. He tries to push himself up with his hands, only to find that his arms have been completely immobilized. Lan Wangji is on top of him, one hand grasping both of Wei Wuxian’s wrists tightly and the other hand splayed across his chest.
There was no spiritual energy in that shove, and there’s no spiritual energy in his grip either. It’s all physical power! No way. The shocking display of strength goes straight to Wei Wuxian’s dick, and he has to fight the urge to spread his thighs in submission.
“You are not allowed to go,” Lan Wangji growls, squeezing Wei Wuxian’s wrists together with greater force as if to prove a point. It’s borderline painful, and Wei Wuxian shivers in delight. Sliding his other hand down towards Wei Wuxian’s stomach, Lan Wangji narrows his eyes. “You wanted to seduce me. You reap what you sow.”
“Hehe, that’s the most Lan-gongzi has spoken so far,” Wei Wuxian teases, loving the way that Lan Wangji’s ears have turned bright red. Deciding to provoke him further, Wei Wuxian continues, “But that was then and this is now. Maybe I don’t want to do this anymore. Can’t I change my mind? Hmph!”
Wei Wuxian feels the hands on his body stiffen at his words, and for a moment he wonders if Lan Wangji is really going to leave. Well, that won’t do. Thinking fast, he rolls his hips up and rubs his thigh against Lan Wangji’s crotch.
Instantly, Lan Wangji lets out a sharp hiss at the foreign sensation. For a brief moment, his expression turns funny before he masks it with a look of rage. “Wei Ying!” he spits out, bringing the hand that was on Wei Wuxian’s stomach up to pull harshly at his hair.
“Ah! That really hurts!” Wei Wuxian yells, squirming exaggeratedly for show. Lan Wangji immediately lets go of his hair, although his grip on his wrists remain firm as ever. “So that’s how it’s going to be?” Wei Wuxian lets out a fake sob. “You’re going to have your way with me and defile this pure maiden’s innocence?”
Realizing that he’s been tricked again, Lan Wangji is furious. “You—“
“Hey, let me up, won’t you?” Wei Wuxian interrupts, desperately trying not to laugh. “I want do something for you. As an apology.”
Lan Wangji does not look convinced.
“Haha, I get it. You don’t trust the Yiling Patriarch. But what threat could I possibly pose to a big, strong cultivator like yourself?” Wei Wuxian flutters his eyelashes at Lan Wangji. “Lan-gongzi, I don’t even have a weapon with me. If you think about it, I’m totally vulnerable and at your mercy.”
This time, surprisingly, Lan Wangji releases Wei Wuxian’s wrists. Pushing himself up to a sitting position, Wei Wuxian exhales as he gives his aching arms a stretch. “Earlier, Lan-gongzi called me by an intimate name,” he says with feigned shyness, hiding his smile behind his hands. Lan Wangji’s eyes flick away in embarrassment. “Lan-gongzi is so bold… Since we are on given name basis now, then I'll call you Lan Zhan, too!”
Wei Wuxian stands on his knees and places a hand on Lan Wangji’s chest. He can feel his heart pounding. “Lan Zhan, lie down for me.”
Lan Wangji follows his command. Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to slide his hand down and grope those defined abs, which are just as firm as they look. His mouth waters.
With barely constrained excitement, Wei Wuxian shuffles backwards and drops down into a prone position so that he’s at eye level with Lan Wangji’s clothed cock. This close up, Wei Wuxian can see even more clearly the outline of the other man’s arousal straining against the flimsy material of his robes. Wei Wuxian impatiently tugs the front of his pants down none too gently and gasps out loud at the sight that meets him.
“Oh Lan Zhan, I knew you would be big,” he moans as he lifts the heavy cock up with a finger and watches it fall back onto his abs with a loud smack. Truly, Wei Wuxian feels as if he’s just won a million pieces of gold ingots.
“… Shameless!” Lan Wangji scolds, closing his eyes as if that does anything.
Wei Wuxian wants to laugh. He hasn’t even done anything yet and Lan Wangji’s already embarrassed again. Those cute ears of his are probably bright red right now. Maybe Lan Wangji isn’t so different from a regular virgin sacrifice after all! Well, other than the part where he tried to kill the Yiling Patriarch and nearly succeeded.
“Lan Zhan, don’t be angry. Sit up and watch me!” Wei Wuxian coaxes. Obediently, Lan Wangji props himself up with his forearms and looks down at the sight before him. Wei Wuxian is resting his cheek on top of Lan Wangji’s clothed thigh, his own bare legs behind him swaying in a carefree manner. He glances up with a shy smile, and Lan Wangji almost thinks he looks cute.
Pleased that he now has the other man’s undivided attention, Wei Wuxian lifts his head up and reaches for Lan Wangji’s cock. He runs his other palm up Lan Wangji’s abs, then trails down over his hip and to his thighs, caressing the strong muscles there. He can feel Lan Wangji’s searing gaze on him, watching his every movement.
Wei Wuxian starts out with a few slow tugs and swipes his thumb over the frenulum once before tentatively licking a wet stripe up along the shaft. He smacks his lips, savoring the taste.
“Delicious,” he sighs. It’s his first time doing this, but he finds himself already addicted.
He gives the head a hard suck before dipping down to take more into his mouth. Lan Wangji’s breath hitches and Wei Wuxian can feel his cock twitch against his tongue. As he bobs up and down the impressive length and strokes what he can’t swallow, Wei Wuxian finds himself wondering if he could take all of Lan Wangji’s cock with time and practice. The thought of doing this with Lan Wangji again fills Wei Wuxian’s heart with excitement and he moans involuntarily.
Then again, what kind of malevolent demigod fucks the same sacrificial virgin more than once?! They wouldn’t even be a virgin the second time around. Besides, Lan Wangji is definitely going to leave after this and pretend it never happened.
Might as well give this a try, since I’m never going to find dick this good again, Wei Wuxian thinks dejectedly before relaxing his throat and slowly sinking down.
Maybe it’s demigod magic, maybe it’s his sheer determination. Maybe he demonically cultivated his gag reflex away by accident and is only just now realizing it. Regardless, Wei Wuxian finds himself easily taking Lan Wangji down to the hilt, lips grazing lightly against the skin of his pelvis. It’s a tight fit in his throat and he can feel Lan Wangji’s cock throb as he swallows around him. Lan Wangji’s breathing becomes faster and the muscles of his thighs tense as he struggles to keep himself from thrusting up into the wet heat.
Suddenly curious to see what kind of expression Lan Wangji is making, Wei Wuxian pulls off with great reluctance. A string of saliva still connects his swollen lips to the tip of Lan Wangji’s dick, and Lan Wangji visibly swallows at the sight. Right now, Lan Wangji really looks like he’s about ready to qi deviate.
Feeling the urge to tease rising, Wei Wuxian resumes tugging at his cock languidly, making direct eye contact as he places a soft and almost chaste kiss on the tip. Just as he’s about to open his mouth and make some irreverent comment again, he feels Lan Wangji’s entire body stiffen up.
The first shot of cum gets everywhere. It splatters onto Wei Wuxian’s face, streaking across his cheek, in his mouth, on his tongue. It’s hot and sticky against his skin and Wei Wuxian is greedy for more. Still staring up at Lan Wangji, he pumps his dick faster and stretches his tongue out to catch more of the cum in his mouth. Then Wei Wuxian wraps his lips around Lan Wangji and takes him into his mouth once more, feeling his cock pulse against his tongue as he happily sucks and swallows all that Lan Wangji has to offer.
For a moment, they just sit in silence. But then the reality of what he had just done sets in, and Lan Wangji looks absolutely mortified. “Wei Ying, I am sorry. This was my fault,” he says, guilt and shame shining in his eyes. He looks so genuine that Wei Wuxian can’t bring himself to tease him, even if he really wants to ask why he looks like he’s been defiled when Wei Wuxian is the one with cum on his face.
Lan Wangji brings his hand up and tenderly cleans Wei Wuxian’s face, checking twice to make sure he’s spotless. But before he can wipe his fingers off somewhere, Wei Wuxian stops him.
Holding Lan Wangji’s palm up with both hands, Wei Wuxian laughs. “Don’t be sorry,” he says before he takes two of Lan Wangji’s fingers into his mouth at once. Lan Wangji gasps at the feeling of a hot tongue running along his digits. He pushes a third finger in and Wei Wuxian eagerly accepts it, sucking and licking and stopping only when he’s sure he’s lapped up all of Lan Wangji’s cum.
Wei Wuxian sighs with a dreamy look on his face. “Lan Zhan, I still want more…”
The kiss surprises both of them, even though Lan Wangji had initiated it. After a moment of shock, Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and opens his mouth, letting Lan Wangji’s tongue in. Ah, he thinks, my first kiss that I’ve guarded for over two hundred years, gone… He can’t complain though. Lan Wangji’s lips are warm and soft against his own, even if he’s using too much teeth.
They pull apart and Lan Wangji has an intense look in his eyes that makes Wei Wuxian vaguely wonder if he should fear for his own life. Unsurprisingly, Wei Wuxian is pushed down onto the cut-up pieces of what used to be his robes (his favorite robes!). His legs instinctively fall open and he wraps them around Lan Wangji, bringing him closer in.
“Lan Zhan! Again with the pushing!” Wei Wuxian huffs in mock indignance.
Lan Wangji pointedly ignores him. He peels Wei Wuxian’s legs off from around him and instead shoves them up towards Wei Wuxian’s chest so that he’s bent in half. Then, wordlessly, he brings one hand down and pushes two fingers all at once into Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian yelps at the unexpected intrusion. “Warn a guy, will you?!” he cried incredulously.
“… Sorry,” Lan Wangji says. It doesn’t sound sincere.
But Wei Wuxian can’t hear him anymore, because now he’s squirming in pleasure from the way Lan Wangji’s curled fingers are rubbing up against his prostate. He never knew having someone else do this to him would feel like this. Wei Wuxian reaches down to touch himself, only for Lan Wangji to slap his hand away.
“Wha… Lan Zhan! How can you be so overbearing?” he whines, grinding his hips down on Lan Wangji’s fingers in an attempt to compensate for the lack of stimulation on his cock. But then he feels the fingers slip out too, leaving him so baffled and frustrated that he starts babbling nonsense. “Ridiculous. I sucked you off and this is how you treat me. This time, I really change my mind! The Yiling Patriarch doesn’t want your virginity anymore!”
Wei Wuxian’s words go ignored, and he feels himself being pulled towards Lan Wangji instead. Suddenly there’s a foreign pressure against his hole… oh.
“Lan Zhan! Are you crazy?!” Wei Wuxian yells, scooting himself backwards. “I’m a virgin! You can’t just stick it in there like that. Hold on, I have just the thing…”
Hearing this, Lan Wangji is dumbfounded. He’s aware that the Yiling Patriarch has sent every sacrificial virgin thus far back to their respective villages untouched, but… a virgin? Wei Ying, a virgin?
His eyes darken.
Meanwhile Wei Wuxian, who’s still blissfully unaware of the fate awaiting his ass, is busy trying to remember where in his mind he placed that one spell. “Ah, here it is!” he exclaims. A talisman materializes out of thin air and he slaps it onto his own chest. The strange markings glow softly for a moment, then the talisman dissolves into nothingness.
Wei Wuxian rolls onto his hands and knees and brings one hand back to spread himself open. “Check it out. It’s one of my inventions.”
Lan Wangji reaches out to hold the other side open and looks down at Wei Wuxian’s hole. There’s a thick, glistening liquid threatening to drip out. Lan Wangji takes a deep breath and states the obvious, “You are wet.”
“I sure am! Neat, right?” Wei Wuxian arches his back and wiggles his hips for emphasis, like he’s really proud of his invention. Which he is. It’s a useful invention!
“You have time to invent something like this, but no time to plant potatoes,” Lan Wangji deadpans.
Not expecting a joke from Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian’s face turns pink. Unbelievable, he thinks. Why is Lan Zhan the one who’s teasing me now? It’s not supposed to be like this! He’s glad that his face is turned away from Lan Wangji so that he can’t see his embarrassed expression.
“I told you already, it’s the soil quality around here!” Wei Wuxian sputters. “Listen, demigods get lonely too… Why can’t you just agree that it’s a really good invention and leave it at that? Young man, I’m two hundred years older than you. Show some respect for your elders, won’t you?”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji says, clearly not listening to him. He’s still staring at Wei Wuxian’s hole, fascinated by the way the clear liquid is slowly dripping out now. Lan Wangji takes his cock in his hand and guides it toward the strange substance, smearing it around as if to verify its effectiveness.
“And furthermore, the—oh!” Wei Wuxian gasps at the feeling of Lan Wangji’s cock nudging at his hole. He trembles in anticipation.
But instead of pushing in, Lan Wangji places his cock snug between Wei Wuxian’s ass, hands kneading his full bottom roughly as he slides against the wetness of his hole.
Being toyed with like this is really too embarrassing, even for someone as shameless as Wei Wuxian. His face burns bright red. “Lan Zhan, don’t tease…” he begs, burying his face into the makeshift bed of the torn robes beneath him.
“… Mn. I will not tease.” Lan Wangji pulls back and finally, finally pushes in.
Wei Wuxian’s jaw goes slack at the feeling of being filled up so fully for the first time. Desperately, he tries to suppress the whimpers spilling out of his mouth as Lan Wangji’s cock splits him wide open. Wei Wuxian is given no time at all to adjust as Lan Wangji starts moving as soon as he bottoms out.
“Ah, you’re too big… I can’t…” Wei Wuxian cries pathetically as he tries to grind his hips back to meet Lan Wangji’s thrusts. “Lan Zhan, please, it’s my first time…”
At those words, Lan Wangji’s hips involuntarily jerk forward. “… You asked for this,” he reminds Wei Wuxian coolly.
Lan Wangji spreads Wei Wuxian’s ass apart with his hands and watches as he helplessly takes his cock. The talisman must have reached the height of its effectiveness, because a clear liquid is starting to drip down Wei Wuxian's thighs and there’s an obscene squelching noise every time Lan Wangji pushes his dick in and out of his hole. He traces a thumb over where Wei Wuxian is stretched out around him and drinks the sight up greedily as he fucks harder into him.
“Pfft. Lan Zhan, why are you staring?” Wei Wuxian looks over his shoulder, voice full of mischief even as he’s wincing from the increased force of Lan Wangji’s thrusts. “Do I look good like this? Being fucked by you.”
“Yes,” Lan Wangji breathes. “Wei Ying looks amazing.”
Wei Wuxian blushes at the unexpectedly sincere reply. There’s no use, he just doesn’t know how to tease Lan Wangji anymore! Moreover, Lan Wangji’s grip on his hips is so tight and painful that Wei Wuxian can barely move. So not only are his taunts now useless against Lan Wangji, he’s also effectively being held in place. Wei Wuxian can’t do anything except passively accept Lan Wangji’s harsh thrusts. He trembles in delight at the feeling of being completely overpowered like this.
Suddenly, Lan Wangji shifts his hips. The change of angle has Wei Wuxian yelping, pleasure rippling through his entire body. “Lan Zhan, again,” he begs. “Please, do it again!”
Lan Wangji obliges.
Dropping his hands to the ground, he presses himself up against Wei Wuxian and continues to fuck into him sharply. The material of Lan Wangji’s robes is cool against Wei Wuxian’s skin, but everywhere that Lan Wangji touches feels scorching hot. No longer restrained by the hips, Wei Wuxian starts frantically rocking backwards to meet Lan Wangji’s powerful thrusts. Lan Wangji kisses and nips along the sensitive skin of Wei Wuxian’s nape as he brings a hand up to his cock. Overwhelmed by so many sensations, it doesn’t take long before Wei Wuxian is throbbing in Lan Wangji’s hand, cum dirtying the fabric underneath him as he lets out a drawn-out moan.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian pants, still coming down from his high. “Lan Zhan, come inside of me. Please.”
The rhythm of Lan Wangji’s thrusts turns erratic as he chases after his own orgasm, pushing into Wei Wuxian as deeply as he can go. His hips stutter once, twice, and then finally he’s coming with a shaky exhale, filling Wei Wuxian up just like he begged for.
Wei Wuxian’s face is pressed up against the torn robes on the ground and his ass, held up by Lan Wangji’s hands, is still high in the air. He lets out a pitiful whimper as Lan Wangji slides his softening dick out and spreads his ass apart. After being fucked so thoroughly and completely, a trail of cum drips easily out of Wei Wuxian’s hole. Lan Wangji scoops it up with two fingers and pushes it back inside, not wanting to see it go to waste. He presses down onto Wei Wuxian’s prostate just to see how he’ll react.
“Lan Zhan! Shameless!” Wei Wuxian gasps, involuntarily clenching around Lan Wangji’s fingers. Lan Wangji snorts softly in amusement.
Satisfied with Wei Wuxian’s reaction, Lan Wangji carefully pulls him up to a more comfortable position. He takes his outer robe off and drapes it around Wei Wuxian instead. It’s not like anyone else is here, and the robe is sheer anyway, but Wei Wuxian finds himself feeling touched by the gesture. He wraps Lan Wangji’s robe tighter around himself, unable to hide his smile. They sit in a pleasant silence and Wei Wuxian tries not to think about Lan Wangji’s inevitable departure.
Lan Wangji is the first to break the silence. “I will tell the villagers not to send any more maidens.”
“Oh. Um. Thanks.” In his post-orgasmic haze, Wei Wuxian had ironically forgotten all about the stupid virgin sacrifices. Well, he won’t have to worry about them anymore. At least there’s that, even if he'll never see Lan Wangji again.
“I will tell them that I defeated you,” Lan Wangji continues.
“Okay, I—huh?!” He most certainly did no such thing! The Yiling Patriarch would like everyone to know that he went easy on Lan Wangji, thank you very much.
“And I will also tell them that…” Lan Wangji pauses for a moment. There’s a hint of hesitance in his voice. “… that I will personally come back to subdue you, if you cause trouble again.”
Lan Wangji? Come back to the Burial Mounds? “Subdue” him?!
Oh…
It finally clicks for Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji wants to see him again.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cries happily, throwing his arms around Lan Wangji. “I will cause as much trouble as I possibly can!”
“… Wei Ying, no.”
“Then you’ll have to come visit me often! Every week! No, every three to four days!”
“Wei Ying.”
“No wait, visit me every day! Otherwise I will start pillaging nearby towns and—MMMMPH!”
Lan Wangji cruelly silences Wei Wuxian with a kiss.
* * *
From that day forward, strange noises can be heard emitting from the Burial Mounds nearly every day, sometimes even multiple times a day.
Some say it’s the ghosts of the ten thousand men robbed, tortured, and murdered personally by Wei Wuxian, here to haunt him for his wrongdoings. Others say it’s the demigod himself, wailing out of shame for having been so utterly and miserably conquered by a mere human cultivator.
Whatever it is, the villagers of Yiling have never regretted any decision as much as they regret sending Hanguang Jun to defeat the Yiling Patriarch.