Chapter Text
Hubert graduated from university with one degree in economics and another degree in computer science, immediately moved far away from his family, and then changed all his contact information so he would never have to speak with them again. The only person he still spoke to from what he called Before was Edelgard, and that was half out of habit and half out of genuine enjoyment. Though she no longer needed him as she had when they were children — and if Hubert were to be honest, she had only needed him for a short period of time — he had come to need her.
It just made life difficult when she lived in Enbarr and he lived too far away.
"You need to go outside more and meet people," Edelgard said one day during their weekly phone chats.
"Is that a request or a command?" Hubert replied, staring at the painting he had hung in place of where a television would go. His living room was sparsely decorated, but it had been a gift from Edelgard, a Congratulations on escaping your family .
"Hubert…" Edelgard sighed. "It is a request from your concerned friend. Sit and read in the park. Join a chess club. Make new friends."
"I am content to know you," Hubert said.
"Other than shopping for groceries, when was the last time you left your apartment?"
Hubert didn't answer because he didn't know. Edelgard waited for a few minutes before realizing this was the case.
"Will you do me a favor, then?"
"Of course," Hubert responded with sudden intensity.
"I've started to play a game. It's a bit silly, but it's fun and I have convinced a few friends from university to play as well. If you would join, I would appreciate it greatly."
It took Hubert no time at all to understand what she was saying, but it did take him a moment to know what she was implying.
"I will join the game if you want me to do so," Hubert said.
"I do."
And that was how Hubert started to play Fire Emblem.
#
[guild] Auto_Mod: Welcome to [The Black Eagles]! Current members [9]. Average level [38]. Guild leader [The_Empress]. Guild treasurer [Atropos]. Guild timezones set [Western Fódlan Time]. Next raid [Thursday, 19:00 WFT].
[guild] stonestrongsword: Hello! I am happy to join this guild.
[guild] knightofbluehair: hi!!!!! welcome 2 the best guild!!!!!
[guild] knightofbluehair: im caspar, and ive been playing 4 a while so if u have questions u can ask me
[guild] iamferdinand: A pleasure to meet you, newest member.
[guild] danceroftheopera: Hi, everyone! This is my friend, Petra. She just started playing the game a few weeks ago and Edie said she could join us.
[guild] stonestrongsword: I find much enjoyment in the game, but I am sorry if I am not good.
[guild] sleepcalls: Hello.
[guild] The_Empress: Welcome to the Black Eagles, Petra. Dorothea has said many good things about you.
[guild] knightofbluehair: im sure ur fine!!! were all bout improvement and having fun anyways
[guild] stonestrongsword: Thank you for your kindness. I also am sorry that I do not speak your language well, but I am open for help with it or with this game.
[guild] Atropos: Hello. If you are struggling with the game, I will prepare a perfect build for you in the next few days.
[guild] sleepcalls: Oh bother…
[guild] knightofbluehair: hubert u dont have to jump down every1s nhroans like that every time u kno
[guild] iamferdinand: Please do not listen to Hubert. He is a man who does not know the meaning of fun, enjoyment, or entertainment.
[guild] iamferdinand: This is a game, that which should be played in whatever way you most like!
[guild] Atropos: You are both wrong and naïve.
[guild] Atropos: This is a game and I intend on winning.
[guild] danceroftheopera: Maybe we can argue later, and not scare my friend off?
[guild] sleepcalls: Please.
[guild] sleepcalls: Caspar, I am grinding Faith in Garreg Mach.
[guild] knightofbluehair: ill b there soon!!!!
[guild] knightofbluehair: nice 2 meet u petra
[guild] stonestrongsword: It has been nice meeting you too!
[guild] The_Empress: Let us know if you do want help, Petra. Especially Hubert. No one knows this game as well as he does.
[guild] Atropos: Thank you, Edelgard.
[guild] iamferdinand: Excuse me, am I just window dressing?
[guild] Atropos: No, window dressing is much less talkative.
[guild] danceroftheopera: Petra, accept my group invite. I'll show you how to grind for crafting materials.
[guild] stonestrongsword: I am accepting the invitation!
[guild] iamferdinand: If anyone requires assistance, I will be training in riding in Garreg Mach!
[guild] Atropos: I will be as far as possible from there.
[guild] tightknitwriter: Is… is the new person gone already?
[guild] The_Empress: Yes, I believe so.
[guild] tightknitwriter: Oh…
#
[Conversation with danceroftheopera]
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Hubie, can I ask you for a favor?
[whisper] Atropos: No.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: But I didn't even ask :(
[whisper] Atropos: Fine.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Don't scare Petra off, okay? She's really excited to meet new people, especially people I'm friends with, and she's very nervous.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: And the truth is that when you offer suggestions and tips, it can come out very forcefully.
[whisper] Atropos: So you want me to not talk to your friend?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: You can talk to her, but I'd rather you let her play the game the way that she wants to play.
[whisper] Atropos: I am supposed to watch idly by while she makes incorrect choices and lowers our success rate?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Let her have fun! We'll still do fine.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: It doesn't have to be so serious all the time.
[whisper] Atropos: If I agree, will you let me design your next three levels for you?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Next two, but I'll also tell Ferdie that the boots he currently has don't look as good on his avatar as the Exceptional Boots of Swiftness.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: He'll switch them, I promise.
[whisper] Atropos: Deal.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Thanks, Hubie! Knew you weren't totally heartless :3
[whisper] Atropos: What is ":3" supposed to mean?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Don't worry about it :3
[End of conversation with danceroftheopera]
#
"Can everyone hear me?" Edelgard asked. A chorus of affirmations rang out, though Hubert just sent a Yes to the Eris chat. "Good. We'll start with a raid in the plains so that we may warm up. Caspar, I want you to focus on tanking. Bernedetta, help keep him from being surrounded. Petra and Ferdinand, you two are going to focus on drawing the trash out and taking down the bosses. I will work with Hubert to handle the mobs."
"Will Jeritza join us today?" Dorothea wondered.
"No. He has not been on in a few days," Edelgard replied. Hubert personally didn't care too much for Jeritza, but he was incredibly powerful when he actually helped the guild. "Oh, Dorothea — please focus on supporting Petra and Ferdinand. Linhardt, you do what you do best."
"Sleep?" He wondered.
"Heal," Edelgard corrected. "Does anyone have any questions?"
"No, you are absolutely clear Edelgard," Hubert told her.
"Let's go!" Caspar shouted. Hubert adjusted his volume a bit. "I'm ready to kick some ass."
"I am also ready for raid night," Ferdinand said. "Are you ready to continue our competition, Edelgard? I am certain that I will beat you this week."
Hubert snorted. "That is no competition, Ferdinand. Edelgard is superior to you in every sense of the word. Her build is perfect, her equipment the best, and her own skill and talent far surpasses yours."
"Ha, you say that when my own numbers are superior to yours in every way." Ferdinand's smirk — though Hubert never had the misfortune of seeing Ferdinand in person, he had no doubt that Ferdinand was the typical egotistical male — was audible through his microphone. "Perhaps mages such as yourself should not throw fireballs when in glass houses."
Dorothea let out a loud, purposeful sigh. "Is anyone else sick of this male posturing?"
Edelgard cleared her throat. Hubert ignored it. The awkward silence extended until Ferdinand broke it.
"My apologies, Dorothea. Let us proceed with the raid."
The Black Eagles started the raid.
Hubert liked raiding. At first, it had been just a silly part of a silly game. Hardly anything to prepare for, let alone look forward to each week. And yes, he did find many of his guildmates dreadfully annoying. Linhardt slept too much, Caspar was too loud, Bernadetta too quiet, Dorothea too conceited, Petra — well, Hubert hadn't actually bothered interacting enough with her to form much of an opinion on her — and Ferdinand.
Ferdinand was just too much.
But despite these reasons to dislike or even loathe raid night, there was something about it which was… soothing. Simple. At first, Hubert had thought it confusing and found the speed and quick decision making necessary to be good difficult to master. He had never been one for games even as a child, let alone as a young adult.
Now, however, he found himself marking down the days until raid night. For him, it was purely about the numbers. He knew exactly which ability to use at any given moment, what equipment to use during which raid. It brought him great pleasure to master a difficult combination or timing, to recall the perfect animation cancel in order to cast a spell a little faster.
Everything Hubert did was for the express goal of winning. His build was meticulously planned, his stats picked for the occasion. He maintained three accounts but his prized account was Atropos, the max level account where he spent most of his time. There weren't many things Hubert would call his pride and joy, but his Fire Emblem account… that came close.
And yet Ferdinand still managed to do just as well, if not even better, than Hubert on most raids.
"Trash coming in hot," Ferdinand shouted.
"I am low on mana," Linhardt called.
"Mini-boss is down," Edelgard announced, landing the final hit. "Hubert, assist with the trash. Dorothea, back Linhardt up."
"As you command," Hubert replied. He glanced at the health bars of his respective guildmates.
Petra was doing well, despite this being only her second raid with the guild and her lower level. Linhardt was low on mana but not health. Bernadetta was safe from the fight as a sniper. Caspar, as per usual, was just low on everything but bloodlust. Dorothea hovered in the middle, but she could heal herself and never failed to ask for help if she needed it, so Hubert didn't care. Edelgard was near full as was Ferdinand.
"Help! I fucked up!" Caspar shouted as Hubert brought his avatar around to cast Circle of Death.
Hubert saw two things. First, the boss was chasing Caspar as his avatar desperately ran from a spew of poison gas. Second, Hubert was right in the way.
"Dammit," Hubert hissed, quickly clicking so his avatar would move. He had to disengage from the trash that was swarming him, so he took unnecessary damage but it was better than dying.
His screen flashed yellow and then red as the damage registered, but before he could even call for healing he saw a familiar paladin rush through the trash, lance flying in circles as he knocked enemies back.
"I am Ferdinand and I'm here to help!" Ferdinand shouted through the voice chat, as if this were a real battle.
"What are you doing?" Hubert cried, having to abandon casting an AOE attack and swapping to single-target damage.
He found himself adjusting on the fly, which was never his favorite thing to do. He knew his spells and hotkeys like a watchmaker knew his craft, but he preferred when his plans went the right way. His avatar stuttered through the commands, health still in the red.
"I'm helping," Ferdinand insisted.
"You can help by leaving me alone," Hubert hissed.
"And let you die? I think not," came the reply. "Besides, I am doing most of the work!"
Hubert was loath to admit it, but Ferdinand wasn't incorrect. His spells were keeping the enemy at bay but yes, most of the challenge was Ferdinand tanking the enemy. Individually, their attacks were enough to drop the trash to low health, but not quite enough to kill them outright. Together, they were more than enough. Now with some much-needed space, Hubert took the opportunity to back away further, spells still flying from his fingertips. Well, digital fingers.
"Hubert, what have I said about asking for help?" Dorothea teased. Hubert's screen lit up, sparkles flying around his avatar as Dorothea healed him. He also saw his mana regenerate.
"Thank you," he said.
"I am engaging the boss. Caspar, Petra, back me up!" Edelgard commanded.
"I am arriving," Petra promised, her avatar sprinting through the enemies. Caspar shouted what was probably agreement, but Hubert couldn't hear him over the awful noise that Ferdinand's character made when his lance went through the enemies.
Bernadetta whimpered and said something that was muffled by the sound of Hubert's keyboard. He would switch himself to Push To Talk, but it tended to interfere with his build and he had enough to focus on as it was — no one else was going to be the heavy-hitting mage, so he had to step up.
"Bernie, can you say that again?"
"I'm surrounded by enemies!" She squealed, right as the sound notification played that indicated that a guild member had fallen. Hubert sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Through a miracle — or at least very good RNG — the Black Eagles made it through the raid without a complete wipe. Linhardt had to revive Bernie and Caspar, but the latter was to be expected at this point. Still, Edelgard sounded a bit exhausted when she announced that she was going to go get water. She muted herself and the conversation continued.
"I got a lot of cool loot! What did you get, Lin?" Caspar asked.
[The_Empress has sent you a private message!]
Hubert raised an eyebrow at the notification. Edelgard was not, apparently, getting a drink.
[Conversation with The_Empress]
[whisper] The_Empress: Are you going to tell them?
[whisper] Atropos: Tell them what?
[whisper] The_Empress: That you are not a man.
[whisper] Atropos: I do not see why it concerns them.
[whisper] The_Empress: You have known some of these people for almost five years. You speak with them daily. Does it not bother you that they call you something you are not?
[whisper] Atropos: The world insists on assigning me many traits that I disagree with. If I spent my whole life fighting them, then I would not have a life left.
[whisper] The_Empress: They're your friends, Hubert. Not people to fight against.
[whisper] The_Empress: They wouldn't want to be the source of any distress.
[whisper] Atropos: It is not worth telling them, Edelgard. Thank you for your concern, but I have no plans on changing the situation at this point.
[whisper] Atropos: I know who I am. You know who I am. That is enough.
[whisper] The_Empress: Is it, though?
[whisper] The_Empress: I thought that the point of us leaving our families was so that we didn't have to live under their heel anymore.
[whisper] Atropos: I am content with my life.
[whisper] The_Empress: But you could be happy.
"Hey, Hubert, if you're gonna type a manifesto could you at least put yourself on Push To Talk?" Caspar complained. Hearing his name shook Hubert out of his thoughts.
"I still do not understand how one man's keyboard can make so much noise," Dorothea said with a sigh. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do to convince you to get something else? Something… quieter."
Hubert looked at his mechanical keyboard, one of the few possessions that he had any real attachment to, and frowned.
"He won't get rid of it," Ferdinand said. Hubert hated that he was correct. "I think he considers it a child."
"It is a piece of perfect machinery, customized to my exact specifications. Why would I refuse to use something that is made so that I may be the best at my craft?" Hubert replied, voice low. The keyboard glowed, LED lights installed under each cap so the letters were backlit in crimson, the light spilling out over the black plastic and illuminating his long fingers whenever he typed.
But it was unnecessary, really. It had been a bit of vanity, adding the LEDs, but he certainly had the money and it had only taken a little extra time… and, well, if he was going to be in front of a computer all day, he might as well like part of it.
"It's a keyboard, bro, don't lose your mind over it." Caspar coughed, then shouted, "Hey Lin, do we have any cough drops?"
Hubert quickly adjusted Caspar's volume even lower. Any further down and he was going to be muted.
"Caspar, how many times have I told you that we're in voice chat? You don't need to yell," Linhardt reminded him.
"Sorry, I just want to make sure that you hear me!"
"I think that I could hear you even without voice chat," Hubert murmured. Ferdinand made a noise that sounded an awful lot like a snort. Hubert elected to ignore him.
"I am capable of hearing you," Petra said. "If you are needing to check your volume, maybe that can be done before the beginning of a raid."
"Oh, no, Caspar is just like that," Dorothea told her. "When I come over next, I'll show you how to adjust everyone's volume on voice chat."
“We can get cough drops,” Linhardt added. “I will add it to the list.”
“Thanks, babe! Oh, can we get more needles too? I’m almost out. Gotta keep taking my man juice.” Caspar laughed at his own joke.
“I am… confused? Caspar, you take juice to be a man?” Petra wondered.
“He is referring to testosterone — hormones.” Ferdinand paused. “He and I both do. It’s because we’re trans.”
“Oh! That is cool. One of my friends is also like that.”
“Hell yeah,” Caspar shouted. “Ferdinand and I have a group chat of trans people — you should ask your friend if they want to join.”
“I will,” Petra replied. “If it is not rude, is it just the two of you? I do not want to be — as it is called — incorrectly gendering someone.”
Crickets. Hubert could hear his next door neighbor’s bass through the walls.
"Hello," Edelgard said, choosing that moment to speak up. "Hubert, check your messages. Everyone, we will run another raid tonight. I want us to focus on working together."
Ignoring the teasing about Edelgard messaging just Hubert and keeping secrets, Hubert pulled the thread up.
[Conversation with The_Empress]
[whisper] The_Empress: I respect your decision to not tell them, but I disagree when you say that it is not worth sharing. Please, Hubert. If not for yourself, for my own comfort. I hate seeing you misgendered.
[whisper] The_Empress: Or consider telling some of them, such as Dorothea or Ferdinand.
[whisper] Atropos: I will consider it.
[whisper] The_Empress: Thank you.
[End of conversation with The_Empress]
"All right," Edelgard told the group, "I say that we try another raid."
"Of course, Edelgard. I am prepared," Hubert replied. And it was simple, really, to push aside her request if just for the night.
#
[Conversation with iamferdinand]
[whisper] Atropos: Hello, Ferdinand.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Hello, Hubert. What do you want?
[whisper] Atropos: I wished to discuss your actions during the last raid. You made multiple errors that resulted in deaths of other guild members. In order for it not to happen again, I have compiled a list of suggestions.
[whisper] iamferdinand: You really are unbelievable, aren't you?
[whisper] Atropos: I recall you stating that any concerns over your performance should be brought to you directly. I am doing so.
[whisper] Atropos: Is there a form you would prefer?
[whisper] iamferdinand: I would prefer you do no such thing.
[whisper] iamferdinand: My performance during the raid was completely fine! I helped save YOU from dying.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I will accept that it was not as clean as our performance could be, but it was still quite a satisfactory raid. We did not have a guild wipe and we did not have to repeat any raids more than once.
[whisper] Atropos: Your interference made it so that I could not cast the proper spells, further weakening my own position. Meanwhile, Bernadetta was killed because you were not helping her during the raid.
[whisper] iamferdinand: First, Caspar is the one who usually watches over Bernadetta. I refuse to take the blame for her single death during the raid.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Second, what are the spells that help with getting stabbed to death or poisoned? You would have died before you could finish a single incantation.
[whisper] Atropos: I had it under control.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Admit it, Hubert, I provided more than acceptable support during the raid. You are the one who failed to perform to standard.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I am done discussing this with you. Further criticism can be sent by email.
[whisper] Atropos: What is your email?
[whisper] iamferdinand: [email protected]
[whisper] Atropos: Thank you.
[whisper] iamferdinand: You are utterly insufferable! I cannot see why anyone would willingly spend time with you, if this is how you treat those who would wish to be your friend.
[whisper] Atropos: This is how I treat people who do not align with my goals.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I am aligning with your goals!
[whisper] Atropos: Then, as Caspar says, "get good."
[End of conversation with iamferdinand]
#
[Conversation with tightknitwriter]
[whisper] Atropos: I am inquiring about your health, Bernadetta, in the least ominous way possible :3
[whisper] Atropos: I hope that you are doing well, but you have not been in the group chat recently? :(
[whisper] Atropos: I believe that it has been four days since your last interaction, though I can see that you have logged on every day since. :/
[whisper] Atropos: If something has occurred, please inform me so that I may assist :D
[whisper] Atropos: I am running out of emojis how do people do this?
[whisper] Atropos: :?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh it's okay Hubert!!! sorry I was tab'd away @_@
[whisper] tightknitwriter: I am okay!!! I just am really intimidated by the new girl… @_@;;;;
[whisper] tightknitwriter: She seems so nice but I can't control it!!! Oh Bernie, your therapist has talked to you about this….. @_@°°°
[whisper] Atropos: Petra? You are concerned about her? She is utterly harmless.
[whisper] Atropos: :0
[whisper] tightknitwriter: I know!!! And she complimented my armor which you know I spent HOURS making changes to plus she thought that Bun Bun was cute…
[whisper] tightknitwriter: BUT THEN SHE TOLD ME THAT I REMINDED HER OF RABBITS THAT SHE USED TO HUNT X_X
[whisper] Atropos: Ah.
[whisper] Atropos: I see.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Please please please don't talk to her about it, I don't want her to find where I live and skin and eat me!!! @w@ I'm too young to die!!!
[whisper] Atropos: I will not talk to her about it if that is what you wish :|
[whisper] tightknitwriter: It is what I wish!!! >.<
[whisper] Atropos: Okay.
[whisper] Atropos: How has your writing been going?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: It's okay. I posted another chapter yesterday and I already have five comments ^.^
[whisper] Atrop: That is good. You should continue to write.
[whisper] Atropos: I believe this is where I say that I am "proud" of you.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh, I know you're trying to be nice but when you put it in quotations like that I think that I did something wrong @_@
[whisper] Atropos: We will work on your confidence more, I think :3
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Wimper…
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Did you need something, Hubert, or can I go hyperventilate now?
[whisper] Atropos: No, I am merely checking in on my fellow guildmates.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh, don't yell at Ferdinand too!!!
[whisper] Atropos: Why not?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: He already told me that he was sorry and promised to work with me more so I can get better at riding. I think that I'm going to multiclass into cavalier so I can have more mobility.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: What do you think? ^.^;;;
[whisper] Atropos: That is not a horrible class decision, I suppose.
[whisper] Atropos: I will draw up a few skill trees for you. Do not let Ferdinand make any decisions without asking me. I still have not forgotten when he picked Heaven affinity over Earth.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Okay :3
[whisper] Atropos: :3
[End of conversation with tightknitwriter]
#
From: [email protected]
Subject: Raid Performance
Attachments: Ferdinand_Raid_Suggestions.doc, Bernadetta_Class_Ability_Suggestions_2.5.doc
Hello Ferdinand,
Per your request in our last conversation, I am writing to you via email. I have attached my document outlining the errors in your performance last week. Please review this information before the raid in three days.
I did have to acquiesce to one of your arguments. I was informed that you have been assisting Bernadetta in her attempts to level up in riding. That is appreciated. It seems we can both agree that the additional mobility would be of great assistance to her, particularly with her… personality.
However, I must say that there are disadvantages to that choice. I wrote up a class and ability tree for her a few months ago and have attached it for your viewing. While I have not had time to examine if any changes should be made in light of patch 4.2, it is still an excellent guideline for her.
You will see that there are no plans for her to class into cavalier. First, she sacrifices several key components of the ranger class by doing so, primarily their ability to stealth and traverse difficult terrain without a penalty. Second, most cavalier abilities assume that the player will be within melee range of their opponent. I am certain we both can agree that Bernadetta is best suited far away from combat.
Third, her ranger companion is a bear. Why would you have her also ride something else when she has a bear that follows her around? The bear is a better companion than a horse by any measure.
Now, I understand that a pure ranger build is complex and requires a bit of finesse to make successful — I have discussed this with Bernadetta and we agreed that a multiclass would be beneficial. You should note, though, that I have proposed a multiclass into rogue in order to make her build more advantageous.
Please review these associated documents and respond with any questions you may have.
Your guildmate,
Hubert
#
[Conversation with The_Empress]
[whisper] The_Empress: Hubert, why do I have Ferdinand in my PMs telling me that he is going to leave the guild if I do not, and I quote, "get that greasy bastard under control?"
[whisper] Atropos: I have no idea what you're talking about.
[whisper] The_Empress: Hubert…
[whisper] The_Empress: We've talked about this. Your skills are invaluable and you know that I take your opinion into consideration, but you cannot be so… pushy with our guild members.
[whisper] The_Empress: They don't understand how you operate the way I do. They take it personally.
[whisper] Atropos: That is their burden, not mine nor yours.
[whisper] Atropos: I will speak with Ferdinand. He cannot be allowed to speak to you in such a way.
[whisper] The_Empress: You know that is not what I intend.
[whisper] The_Empress: You two have never gotten along. I know that he aggravates you, however he is one of the core members of this guild.
[whisper] The_Empress: Is there no universe where you two get along?
[whisper] Atropos: Yes, the universe where he admits that he has an inadequate view of this game.
[whisper] The_Empress: Hm. Well, I want you to talk to him. Actually talk, not fight.
[whisper] The_Empress: If he leaves, we will lose a very necessary part of our front line.
[whisper] Atropos: Whatever you wish, Edelgard.
[whisper] The_Empress: Also, Hubert?
[whisper] Atropos: Yes, Edelgard?
[whisper] The_Empress: Please tell the others soon. It is distressing to hear you misgendered so often.
[whisper] Atropos: I will consider it.
[End of Conversation with The_Empress]
#
[Conversation with iamferdinand]
[whisper] Atropos: Hello, Ferdinand.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Hello, Hubert. Come to yell at me again?
[whisper] Atropos: I am once again asking you to consider that you are not the master of this game and that others may be making decisions for a reason.
[whisper] iamferdinand: If I am no master, than neither are you!
[whisper] iamferdinand: If this is about the fact that I brought this matter to Edelgard's attention, then know I did it only because she is the leader of the guild and should handle these things.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Of course, you two are childhood friends so I am painted the villain. I don't know why I expected any different.
[whisper] Atropos: I find it childish to run to someone else about this, but I am more insulted that you would think Edelgard would treat me as special just due to our length of friendship.
[whisper] iamferdinand: What, you would not treat her different than another?
[whisper] Atropos: It is an unfair comparison. She is my superior.
[whisper] iamferdinand: That feels… unhealthy.
[whisper] Atropos: You could not understand.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Try me.
[whisper] Atropos: She has dreams of changing the world. Making it a better place. I am honored to assist her in any form possible.
[whisper] Atropos: And she has helped me. Neither of us speak to our families anymore. She is the one who gave me the courage to make that decision.
[whisper] Atropos: Where Edelgard goes, I follow. I clear her path and she guides me down mine. That is how it has always been.
[whisper] Atropos: You would not understand.
[whisper] Atropos: So? Do you have anything to say, Ferdinand?
[whisper] iamferdinand: Hahahahahahahaha
[whisper] Atropos: What is so humorous?
[whisper] iamferdinand: I have known you for how long? And this is the first time you've even talked about your family or what you see in Edelgard.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I know more about Petra and she's only been a part of the group for a month.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I suppose it makes me laugh, knowing that there really is a human behind the computer.
[whisper] Atropos: I see.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I was starting to think you were just a very intelligent computer, considering you've only sent a few photos to the chat.
[whisper] Atropos: Are you implying that I am a catfish, as the term goes?
[whisper] iamferdinand: Well, if you were, you were a very unimpressive one.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I have not heard of many catfish who use a man's photo, particularly ones that are grainy and out of focus.
[whisper] Atropos: I see.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I digress, though. I know you disagree — to put it lightly — with how I play this game. But I also am a very capable member. Perhaps if I was holding us back, I would understand where your frustration comes from. But as it is, I am dealing a tremendous amount of damage while also being the tank.
[whisper] Atropos: You are a bruiser, yes.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Where would this guild be without me, Hubert?
[whisper] Atropos: Do you at least understand why I am frustrated when you fail to accept that you could be better?
[whisper] Atropos: Is it a crime to seek perfection?
[whisper] iamferdinand: Is it a crime to seek happiness?
[whisper] Atropos: I see.
[whisper] Atropos: Very well. We may not see eye-to-eye on this, but I will endeavor to be less… forceful. Though I cannot promise to hold my tongue on every occasion.
[whisper] Atropos: After all, wouldn’t you be happier if you were better?
[whisper] iamferdinand: Oh, right when I thought we were going to agree on something.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Well, I am glad that we had this discussion anyways. You can’t run away from things forever, after all.
[whisper] Atropos: Quite right.
[whisper] Atropos: I am still going to send you emails with my… observations, however.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I look forward to your incorrect and hilarious attempts at dissuading me from pursuing my current build path.
[whisper] iamferdinand: :)
[whisper] Atropos: Hmph.
[End of conversation with iamferdinand]
#
From: [email protected]
Subject: Raid Performance (Again)
Attachment: Ferdinand_Raid_Suggestions_2.doc
Hello Ferdinand,
As per our most recent conversation, I have agreed to keep my direct criticism to emails. I have much less to comment on this time, but there were several combinations that you missed or executed suboptimally. I realize that it can be difficult to imagine exactly what I am describing without having a visual. As such, I have included a timestamped video in the document for you to view at your leisure.
However, I felt amiss in giving you just negative feedback. I recently read that people learn best if they are also encouraged, so I wanted to tell you that you have done much better recently than you used to do. While in the past I felt that you were a rock tied around our throats, now you are more like an overly enthusiastic dog who is attempting to help. Your efforts are admirable. Is there any possibility that you could imbue Linhardt with some of your dedication? We may actually have an efficient healer then…
But I digress. Thank you for your efforts. They have been noticed.
If you have any additional questions, I encourage you to message me either on Eris or to reply to this email.
Regards,
Hubert
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:Raid Performance (Again)
Attachment: Ferdinand_Raid_Suggestions_2copy.doc
Hubert,
By the Goddess, you really have no concept of doing things in halves, do you?
Well, I reviewed the document despite my better instincts. I will confess, you have better instincts than I originally anticipated. Do you have a paladin smurf? If not, you should consider it. You might even get to level 40 with your big brain.
But you have no idea what it’s actually like to play a paladin — you had a few errors and it would be amiss for me not to point them out to you — after all, we wouldn’t want you to be wrong?
I edited your document a bit. My notes are in red. You will be hard-pressed to miss them. I even recorded myself running a few of the combinations so you could have a visual.
I don’t think anyone could convince Linhardt to work harder.
Ferdinand v A
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:Raid Performance (Again)
Greetings Ferdinand,
Your prompt response is welcome. I am currently halfway through your document and realized that there is a reason my calculations are off. Your current equipment, according to fe.op.com, is a combination of the Solar Knight set that came out last year and a piece from the Holy Paladin quest. Because you do not have a full set of either, you are not getting the bonuses that I included in my original math.
Why on Fódlan do you not have the boots from the Solar Knight set?
Inquiring,
Hubert
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Raid Performance (Again)
Hubert,
Why do you THINK I do not have the boots?
Ferdinand v A
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Raid Performance (Again)
Almost Paladin of the Solar Order Ferdinand,
I feel that it is a fair question. The quest is not one that is locked behind a certain time of the year, it is designed to be completed by a single individual, and you are not so vain as to decline the boosts that a full set would grant you. Besides, matching is always more fashionable — at least that is what Dorothea states.
Are you having that much difficulty with the quest? I did some cursory research and found a dozen guides online on how to complete it. Are you telling me that you are not able to complete a quest that “madaxxerred” and “twocavaliers” could both accomplish many months ago?
If you are having trouble, I can always assist you. Just so that you can get the final piece, of course. With you lacking a necessary part of the armor, it is weakening the entire guild. I do not care about you as an individual. I just want that to be clear.
Politely,
Hubert
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Raid Performance (Again)
Hubert,
Tonight, eight PM. Meet me in Garreg Mach, we’ll voice chat.
Ferdinand v A
From: [email protected]
Subject: Solar Order Questline
Attached: Quest_Guide_v1.doc
Dear Ferdinand,
After our… interesting time last night, I have spent the entirety of today creating a guide that we may follow tonight. I think I have concluded where we were failing — and yes, I will accept exactly 50% of the blame — and know the steps that we must take in order to solve our problems.
Please review this document and let me know when you are able to run the quest again. It does rely on a bit of tricky timing between your Holy Radiance ability and my Miasma, but I believe that we will be able to do it successfully. Of course, take note of my suggested armor and equipment. I think that it would be better for you to wear the heavier armor. Though it will lower your DPS, it will make you more durable. Since I am assisting, you will need to deal less damage.
Thank you for your cooperation,
Hubert
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:Solar Order Questline
Attached: Quest_Guide_v1copy.doc
You are an utterly insufferable man sometimes and I hope you know that.
I have attempted to explain to you multiple times the reason I cannot just wear heavier armor. The metrics to get the boots are very specific. You must accomplish a Perfect rating on the final raid with less than three people. The challenge is getting a Perfect rating because, as we both know, the bar gets higher the more people you include.
It is not enough for me to just not die — which is entirely your fault, because if you had used Dark Spikes instead of Hunger of Hadar, then you would have been able to deal piercing damage which is more effective than physic damage against spirits — but we must both stay alive and complete the raid in less than ten minutes.
With this information, I am sure you will take a look at the suggestions I left in your guide. I suggest that you swap your spellbook for something with less casting time — I understand that Dark magic hits harder than most Elemental magic, but you are also a sitting duck while casting and since we are not running with Caspar, we don’t have a more dedicated tank.
Unless you want to invite Caspar, then we will have to make do with what we have.
Your friendly cavalier,
Ferdinand v A
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:Solar Order Questline
Dear Friendly Cavalier,
Understood.
Are you free tonight? I believe we have, as they say, a winning strategy.
Yours,
Hubert
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Solar Order Questline
Yes.
Ferdinand v A
#
[Conversation with danceroftheopera]
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Hubie, I noticed recently that our local bee has been buzzing around with a new pair of boots.
[whisper] Atropos: Yes.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Is it true that you helped him get them?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: He’s wanted them for such a long time. I was close to getting them for him, just so he would stop complaining.
[whisper] Atropos: They were only so he can perform better in raids. He was holding us back.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Hm, well, if that’s what you want to tell yourself…. :)
[whisper] Atropos: What do you want, Dorothea?
[whisper] danceroftheopera: I am just saying, Ferdinand is a handsome man. I don’t know which way you go — or if it’s both ways — but if you want tips on flirting…
[whisper] Atropos: I am not interested in Ferdinand.
[whisper] Atropos: I am not even interested in men.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Oh, you don’t have to convince me. I’m just saying, if you want tips or anything, you can always ask.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: I think it’d be cute. Enemies to lovers… You know, it’s very common especially with men.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: We can’t all be Caspar and Lin.
[whisper] Atropos: I am not interested in men.
[whisper] danceroftheapera: Honestly? Probably for the best.
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Well, thank you for satisfying my curiosity. I’ll see you in chat!
[whisper] danceroftheopera: Bye, Hubie :)
[End of conversation with danceroftheopera]
#
[Conversation with tightknitwriter]
[whisper] Atropos: Bernadetta, I have a question for you, when you are available.
[whisper] tightknightwriter: Whatever it is, I didn’t do it!!! @_@
[whisper] Atropos: What? No.
[whisper] Atropos: 0.0
[whisper] Atropos: It is of a more… personal nature.
[whisper] tighknitwriter: Oh, I don’t know. Wouldn’t this sort of a thing be better to ask Dorothea about? Or Edelgard! Both of them seem to know more things than me. I just write about relationships…
[whisper] Atropos: No, it’s got nothing to do with relationships. I hope I haven’t been giving that impression.
[whisper] Atropos: I was speaking with someone and it made me think — why are you playing this game, exactly?
[whisper] tighknitwriter: This feels like a trick question… I don’t know what you want me to say, please don’t be mad @_@
[whisper] Atropos: I promise you that it is not a trick question. I want your honest opinion. It’ll stay between you and me.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh, you promise???
[whisper] Atropos: I promise on my mechanical keyboard collection.
[whisper] Atropos: :)
[whisper] tightknitwriter: I really think we need to talk about your use of emoticons again, but I appreciate the effort ^.^
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Okay, okay!
[whisper] tightknitwriter: I really just play because it’s fun. Like, I started because I wanted to make more friends and this seemed like a good compromise between no friends and having to leave my room.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Then I actually started getting close to you guys! It’s really funny that we all live so close — well, relatively speaking. But now I play because I want to hang out with everyone. I think it’s fun. And again, it means I don’t have to leave my room.
[whisper] Atropos: I feel like you and I need to discuss your habits at some point again.
[whisper] Atropos: But I promised not to judge you, so continue.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Eeep, I’m trying!!! It’s just hard T_T
[whisper] Atropos: Go on.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Well, that’s really it. I happen to like the game a lot and now I have friends. Even if you guys can sometimes be a little scary…
[whisper] Atropos: There is nothing terrifying about a person like Linhardt or Caspar.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Haha, I guess so.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: And, honestly, you aren’t too bad once someone gets to know you! ^.^
[whisper] Atropos: I will choose to take that as a compliment.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: It is, I promise!!!! \_^.^_/
[whisper] Atropos: Bernadetta, what in the Goddess’ name is that?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh, I knew it was a bad idea!!! @.@
[whisper] Atropos: But what IS it?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: A hug…
[whisper] Atropos: \_^.^_/
[whisper] tightknitwriter: And now you’re just making fun of me…
[whisper] Atropos: I’m not making fun of you. I’m returning the favor.
[whisper] tighknitwriter: Okay…
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Can I ask you a question?
[whisper] Atropos: Of course. I’ll even give you an honest answer.
[whisper] tighhknitwriter: Why did you start to play the game?
[whisper] Atropos: Edelgard asked me to join her. I agreed.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Oh. I guess it really is that simple.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Dorothea thinks that you were a secret mod or worked for Genesis Systems.
[whisper] Atropos: Why would I work for the company that makes this game?
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Well, it would explain why you get so… insistent on our builds.
[whisper] tightknitwriter: Not like that's a bad thing!!! It can just be a bit overwhelming sometimes @_@
[whisper] Atropos: Hm. Thank you, then.
[whisper] Atropos: You have given me a great deal to think about. Enjoy the rest of your day.
[End of conversation with tightknitwriter]
#
[Conversation with The_Empress]
[whisper] Atropos: I think I want you to tell the others.
[whisper] The_Empress: Yes?
[whisper] Atropos: I do not want to tell them myself. I… I know that I will not, if it is up to me.
[whisper] Atropos: But I trust you, Edelgard.
[whisper] The_Empress: Thank you, Hubert.
[whisper] The_Empress: What would you like me to tell them?
[whisper] Atropos: Only that I am not a man nor a woman. I am neither, nothing. They can use whatever pronoun they want, I suppose, but I am used to ‘he’ so that is fine.
[whisper] Atropos: But I have been thinking… I do not want them to call me a man anymore.
[whisper] The_Empress: Okay.
[whisper] The_Empress: You know, I would not be surprised if Caspar and Ferdinand both message you.
[whisper] Atropos: And I will inevitably turn down whatever inane idea they have.
[whisper] The_Empress: Ha, as long as you know what will happen.
[whisper] The_Empress: Hubert?
[whisper] Atropos: Yes, Edelgard?
[whisper] The_Empress: I’m happy for you. I know this is a big step, but it’s a good one.
[whisper] Atropos: Thank you.
[whisper] The_Empress: Of course.
[End of conversation with The_Empress]
#
[Conversation with knightofbluehair]
[whisper] knightofbluehair: HUBERT!!!! PAL!!! BUDDY!!! FRIEND!!!
[whisper] knightofbluehair: Hmmm unless those r not terms u like, sry
[whisper] Atropos: What do you want, Caspar?
[whisper] knightofbluehair: i wanted 2 congrats u for joining the club!!!!
[whisper] knightofbluehair: U kno,,,, the “fuck gender” club!!! :D
[whisper] Atropos: I see.
[whisper] knightofbluehair: i mean, u kno im trans right. this might b confusitng if u didnt kno that
[whisper] Atropos: I did know that, yes.
[whisper] Atropos: I understand your enthusiasm. I just do not think that I am part of any ‘club’ that you may be a part of.
[whisper] Atropos: I am, as the term goes, still assigned male at birth. I have not, nor do I plan on medically transitioning. I would not want to claim false siblinghood with you.
[whisper] knightofbluehair: nah, we dont have like standards or whatever
[whisper] Atropos: That would explain a great deal.
[whisper] knightofbluehair: oy, im trying 2 b nice 2 u
[whisper] knightofbluehair: u dont have 2 join or smithg but if u want, u can
[whisper] knightofbluehair: it’s an open invitation
[whisper] Atropos: Ferdinand is in this group, is he not?
[whisper] knightofbluehair: no, he definitely is in the group
[whisper] knightofbluehair: OHHHH thats ur problem
[whisper] knightofbluehair: understood
[whisper] Atropos: I suppose, though… I do appreciate the invitation, Caspar.
[whisper] knightofbluehair: ofc!!!!!
[End of conversation with knightofbluehair]
#
[Conversation with iamferdinand]
[whisper] iamferdinand: You have my apologies, Hubert.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I feel most awful. I know what it is like to be thought of as a different person, and I pride myself in never making that sort of mistake.
[whisper] iamferdinand: But I have spent this whole time believing you prefer one term, but your recent messages have made me realize I have never asked.
[whisper] iamferdinand: So I shall ask now: how should I refer to you?
[whisper] Atropos: Preferably, not at all.
[whisper] iamferdinand: Are you going to say anything else?
[whisper] Atropos: No.
[whisper] iamferdinand: I'm trying to apologize for my behavior and know how best to rectify the situation! Will you at least dignify this with a proper response?
[whisper] Atropos: No.
[End of conversation with iamferdinand]
#
Hubert rarely took part in voice chats outside of raid nights, preferring to message people individually if he needed to talk to them or shadow group chats to see if there were any important updates. Even when he was just grinding out skills, he'd keep Eris open on one monitor and Fire Emblem on the main screen. In many ways, he knew that he was disconnected from the others — he didn't listen to Caspar's jokes as often, didn't chide Linhardt for his abysmal sleeping habits, didn't hear Dorothea spontaneously burst into song.
Edelgard and Bernadetta kept him appraised of what happened and that was enough. It had been for all the years he had played and he had no intention of changing that now.
Tonight, though, there wasn't anyone in voice chat. A few people were swapping messages in the Eris chat, but the in-game chat was quiet except for the occasional world announcement. Like any sane person, Hubert muted the world chat so that he didn't have to see every trade request or looking for a group message.
He was idly practicing his reason skill and planning his next few days — he had to go grocery shopping soon, and the bathroom was starting to look dirty — when Fire Emblem crashed.
"What?" Hubert actually exclaimed, staring at his screen. He tapped his keyboard, then wiggled his mouse. Nothing happened. His Eris kept pinging with new messages, the group chat blowing up between Bernadetta — who never slept, so he wasn't surprised that she was awake — and Caspar. Neither of them seemed to know what was happening.
As Hubert watched, he saw some of the others get on voice chat. He almost clicked on it when he saw Ferdinand join.
An audible groan escaped Hubert. His urge to know more beat out over his urge to avoid Ferdinand though, so he just steeled himself as he clicked the Eris room.
"—middle of a solo raid. I hope that I can get my loot, I was pretty far into it," Caspar was complaining.
"I just checked Chirp and they haven't posted anything yet," Dorothea added. "Oh, hello Hubert!"
"Was this your doing?" Ferdinand asked.
"Why would I be involved with this?" Hubert replied. "I know that you do not have an understanding of the intricacies of the game—”
Ferdinand laughed. “It was a joke, Hubert. I know that you do not actually have total mastery over the game.”
“In that sense, yes,” Hubert muttered.
“No one on my feed knows what’s going on,” Dorothea continued, well-versed in the intricacies of ignoring a Hubert and Ferdinand argument. “It isn’t just Adrestia either. One of my mutuals in Leicester said that she’s also having problems.”
“Isn’t it six am in Leicester?” Caspar asked.
“How do you know what time it is in Leicester?” Ferdinand responded.
“I am surprised you know where Leicester is,” Hubert said simultaneously. Someone laughed. It was probably Dorothea.
“Well, I raid sometimes with a guy there! We gotta make sure that we know when the other guy is free.” Caspar yawned. “Damn, it’s really midnight here, huh? When did that happen?”
Hubert gave up trying to get Fire Emblem to work and instead forced the game to close. He realized that this meant he could probably go to sleep now, but he wasn’t tired in the slightest. Before he could make a decision, another person joined.
“Why are you all in chat at this hour?” Edelgard asked.
“Aren’t you studying for your finals?” Dorothea countered. “Which, hm, I guess I can do that now…”
“I was, but when I see half of my friends in chat then I have to know what’s happening,” Edelgard replied.
“The game crashed,” Caspar said.
“What?”
“I said, the game crashed!” Caspar yelled. There was a muffled noise from his end then, “Sorry, Lin. Go back to sleep, babe.”
Hubert hoped that his ears would recover. If he put Caspar’s volume any lower, he would be muted. In the lull between conversations, Bernadetta said something that he didn’t quite catch, but left the chat before he could ask her for clarification.
“She’s going to bed. I guess I’m going to go study now. Wish me luck!” Dorothea waited a moment for a chorus of goodbyes before taking her exit.
Edelgard sighed. “Well, if we are not doing an impromptu raid night, then I have no reason to stay.”
“Lin is making me go to sleep,” Caspar added.
“Good night. I hope your studies go well, Edelgard. Please let me know if I can assist.” Hubert hesitated, then continued, “Caspar, I hope you sleep well. Try not to bother Linhardt further.”
Caspar burst into laughter. “I don’t bother Lin! He’s used to me by now!” He slammed a hand on the table. “But I am going to let him use me as a human heater, so night!” Without further ado, Caspar left the call.
“How does Linhardt not murder him?” Ferdinand wondered.
“I imagine it’s similar to how I resist the urge to murder you,” Hubert drawled. Edelgard laughed, covering it with a forced cough. Ferdinand’s sputtering was much less dignified, but his lack of coherence gave Hubert a moment to realize what he had just implied. "I did not mean it—"
"I have much better standards than someone such as yourself," Ferdinand argued. "Besides, I would never want to date you in the first place. I only like men and you are very much not a man. In fact, the only thing we have in common is that we both play this game."
Hubert decided to take it as a good thing that Ferdinand was acknowledging that they were complete opposites.
"Well, that's not actually true," Edelgard said. Before Hubert could politely, but firmly, ask for clarification, she continued. "You both live in Danum. Has this never come up before? I could have sworn that it was mentioned."
"No," Hubert told her, "It certainly has not."
"I would remember if you had mentioned it," Ferdinand agreed.
"Oh, hm, now you know then." Edelgard shifted in her seat, the rustling of fabric just barely audible through her mic. "If I leave, will you two promise to not kill one another?"
Ferdinand laughed. "As discussed, Hubert has not acted on his murderous tendencies and I am too much the gentleman to ever try."
Hubert snorted but said nothing as Edelgard made them good night and left to study. He was unsurprised when an Eris message popped up from her telling him to just leave chat if he wanted. It was what he planned, but before he did, Ferdinand started to speak.
"Which part of the city are you in?" He asked. Hubert debated lying or snapping at him or any myriad of options, but he went with the truth.
"I live right outside downtown Danum. Do you know the Red Line? The First and Porter stop — I am five minutes from there by foot."
Ferdinand whistled. "That is a nice place. You work in tech, right?"
"Yes. I am in information security." Hubert found himself uncertain of where this was going. "I do not know what your work is."
"I'm a paralegal!" Ferdinand said it like he was describing a dog he had trained to do a funny trick. "I work downtown, but I live in the Arts District."
While Hubert rarely left the immediacy of his home, he could think of several apartments in the Arts District. All of them seemed like the kind of place a man as ridiculous as Ferdinand would live.
“Aren’t you the same age as Edelgard?” He wondered.
“Yes.” Ferdinand chuckled nervously. “I skipped a few grades, did well in class — I got the offer before the ink had dried on my diploma.”
Hubert could sense that there was more there, but he also was more socially adept than the others gave him credit for and did not push the issue.
"I admit, I am surprised. You seem like the kind of man who would work in the arts or a nonprofit," Hubert said instead. He didn't mean it as an insult and realized it could be too late, but Ferdinand just laughed.
"When I was young, I wanted nothing more than to be an actor. I would tie a sheet around my shoulders like a cape and receipt poetry. My mother thought it was charming." Ferdinand cleared his throat. "Yet each man kills the thing he loves, by each let this be heard. Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword!"
His voice was strong, his diction elegant. Hubert had not considered himself an expert or even a casual connoisseur of the theater for quite a while. Still, he could picture Ferdinand on stage, dressed in an elegant suit, reciting a monologue, capturing every eye in the room. Softly, but earnestly, Hubert clapped.
Ferdinand laughed — for once not with an arrogant confidence but with more of a nervous tilt. “Thank you, thank you,” he said. "You flatter me."
"You strike me as someone who would have done well." Hubert didn't bother to ask why Ferdinand stopped. That felt too personal.
"Have you ever performed? You seem like you could play one of the villains or perhaps a troubled protagonist." Ferdinand considered it. "Or maybe a mysterious side character."
"I don't know if you're saying more about myself with these comments or whether you are trying to insult me, but I am flattered." Hubert found himself smirking. "But no, the stage never called me, thankfully. My mother enjoyed it, but my father thought there were more practical things I could do in my spare time."
"My father thought much the same. He tolerated it as long as I did well in my studies, but he never came to any performances and he was glad when I stopped in high school."
"His loss," Hubert replied. He wasn't sure if he was more surprised to say it or if Ferdinand was more surprised to hear it. Even worse, Hubert knew that he meant it.
Ferdinand let out half a laugh. "We do not talk much anymore, which is probably for the best. I'm sure you understand what that is like."
Funny, Hubert had almost forgotten that he had let slip that bit of information to Ferdinand.
"I do." Hubert paused. "I wanted to discuss our previous conversation. Though, referring to it as a conversation is generous."
"I'm sorry? I do not follow."
Hubert sighed. "When you tried to apologize to me for misgendering me."
"Oh, you mean the time I did apologize and you said that you did not want me talking to you at all?" Ferdinand sounded defensive, but not angry, and Hubert could work with that.
"Yes. I wanted to let you know that I was unkind to you." Hubert mulled over his next phrase. "You were trying to be an ally. I am not used to that. I treated you how I would if you were attacking me. The fact that those are my instincts is no excuse. You've done nothing to make me mistrustful of you in that regard. Though we will continue to disagree on other matters, I have no reason to believe we should disagree on that." He took a deep breath. "You have my apologies, Ferdinand. And to answer your question, you may use he/him pronouns for me if you wish."
There was a long enough silence that Hubert actually glanced back at Eris, uncertain whether Ferdinand had left the call or was muted. But no, he was still there. His icon was a video game character in front of a trans pride flag — Hubert had probably heard about it before, but he never put too much attention to listening to unimportant conversations.
He wondered, in that moment, who he was no judge whether something was important or not.
"I appreciate your apology, Hubert. I know how difficult it can be, when you first come out to others. But just to clarify — do you actually like masculine pronouns? Or do you just use them because you feel like you have to."
It was a question that Hubert had asked himself many times before and, in the end, had never really come to a definite conclusion. He didn't know how to explain it best, had never really been good at putting his feelings into words, and so he just shrugged and said,
"I would rather that I never be perceived, but if I must then 'he' is acceptable."
"Hm, I supposed. Well, if you ever want to change or just try out new pronouns with someone, I will support you in whatever way you need." Ferdinand cleared his throat. "Because I am Ferdinand and I'm here to help."
Despite himself, Hubert laughed. "You really are an eccentric personality."
"Well, I think everyone in this guild is a little eccentric. I just fit in," Ferdinand replied. He yawned. "Sorry, Hubert. I think I'm going to go to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight. But I am sure I will see you in-game tomorrow."
"Of course. You can continue to grind charm or whatever inane skill you are working at while I actually improve."
Ferdinand chuckled. "Oh, you can believe whatever makes you sleep well at night. Good night, Hubert."
"Good night, Ferdinand."
#
The game did not get restored the next day. Nor the day after that. The Fire Emblem Chirp and MyBook were vague about why, but all that Hubert knew was that he suddenly had a lot more time on his hands and if Dorothea proposed that they play Quiplash one more time, he might kill someone.
He also realized that he was actually rather bored at home. It was odd, because he still had everything that he usually would. His schedule didn't change from day-to-day.
Hubert woke up an hour before work. He got dressed. He made coffee. He ate a bagel or muffin — something simple. He worked. He had lunch. He got off work and read the news while he relaxed.
Only, usually he'd throw Fire Emblem up and grind a bit while he did other things. He missed that. He even missed grinding with the others, even despite the frustration he felt when Caspar ran in and got himself killed or Dorothea insisted on trying some new combination that didn't make any sense.
It wasn't until he woke up one day and realized that he usually would be messaging everyone about their raid prep that, even worse, he was sad that there wasn’t anything to do. It was the feeling, he realized with a bit of panic, of missing not just his routine, but missing people. He was not a fan.
“Hubert, kind of you to join us,” Dorothea teased. “We’re playing Quiplash. You can join next round?”
“I will spectate,” Hubert replied. He saw that Dorothea was sharing her screen and joined. His main monitor was dedicated to scouring his favorite keyboard forum, but he could keep an eye on the chat.
It was, he would admit, nice to listen to his friends. Some of the jokes were poor — Caspar, what is that even supposed to mean? Edelgard asked — while others were accidentally funny — I would like to have a conversation about roller coaster death statistics, Linhardt muttered — but Hubert actually felt like he was involved. He didn’t care to play, not since Caspar had stated that Your sense of humor is so dry, it qualifies as a desert .
Hubert hadn’t even realized that almost an hour passed — Bernadetta leaving midway, Petra joining, and Caspar slowly devolving into more and more dick jokes — until Edelgard let out a heavy sigh and announced that she had to go to the gym.
“Aw, bye! Send us some gym selfies,” Dorothea told her. There was a channel in the Eris server for selfies, but the majority of them were Dorothea and Ferdinand with a few photos of Linhardt sleeping in increasingly more ridiculous locations, courtesy of Caspar. Hubert and Bernadetta used it as little as possible. “Is everyone else good to play another round?”
“I should go grocery shopping,” Ferdinand admitted. “Actually, I was planning on visiting my favorite tea shop. Hubert, have you ever been to The Jasmine Dragon?”
“I don’t drink tea,” Hubert said. He could vaguely think of a tea shop near his apartment, if near could be defined as within twenty minutes after a quick bus ride and a walk.
Ferdinand casped. “How do you not drink tea? What do you drink, then?”
Caspar muttered something that sounded suspiciously like the blood of children but Hubert ignored him.
“Coffee, of course.”
“But — that’s so bad for you!”
“I have not had any ill effects as of yet.”
“Do you at least take it with sugar?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“Oh, be quiet you too — no one wants to hear your flirting,” Dorothea teased. Petra giggled.
Ferdinand managed to convey that he was rolling his eyes with a sigh. Hubert was almost impressed.
“I am not flirting with Hubert. I’m gay, remember? We had a whole conversation about this after you thought that I was hitting on you for an entire semester.” His words only made Petra laugh more.
“I am sad that we have not met,” Petra said. “Dorothea tells me many stories of when you two were in classes together.”
“All good ones, Ferdie — all good ones.” Dorothea’s tone made it clear that there were definitely more than just the good stories.
“Anyways,” Ferdinand spoke up, changing the topic with sheer willpower. “I think that this needs to be changed. Hubert, are you doing anything right now? Oh, of course you are not. Meet me at the Fifth and Nevarre stop at the Red Line in an hour. I’ll send a picture of myself later so you know what I look like.”
I already know what you look like, Hubert thought, how could anyone forget your ridiculous mane of hair? He kept the thoughts to himself though, because there was the much more important fact—
“Wait, Ferdie, you and Hubie live in the same city?” Dorothea gasped. “Have you too been meeting and hanging out without the rest of us?”
“I have never met this man before in my life,” Hubert replied.
“Well, that is going to change!” Ferdinand declared.
“I don’t suppose I get a say in this?”
“Not at all.”
And that was how Hubert found himself standing at a subway entrance an hour later, jacket pulled tight around his body in an attempt to keep the cold away.
He had muted his phone — Dorothea and Caspar were trying to explain the point of Dragon Fairs to Petra, with some comments from Linhardt. Hubert kept itching to check his messages, but he resisted each time. There was no point rushing. Either Ferdinand showed up or he didn't. It wouldn't be the first time someone had stood him up. Who in their right mind would actually want to spend time with someone as dour and bitter and dark as Hubert von Vestra?
"There you are!" Ferdinand's voice was even more cheery in person, his personality exuding from his person as he ran over to Hubert. As the pictures had revealed, his long orange hair cascaded down his shoulders and his bright eyes glowed against the slight flush on his face. He was wearing a double-breasted red jacket with gold buttons.
Pictures had not been able to show his cuffed dark blue jeans nor the boots that looked like they cost as much as one of Hubert’s prized keyboard builds. Nor were pictures able to fully convey how Ferdinand’s cheerful expression could only be described as puppy-dog in appearance. By the Goddess, the man even had freckles.
Hubert didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that he was generously described as a vampire — on more than one occasion in university, he had been called a walking corpse and that wasn’t even during midterms or finals.
“Hello,” he said, nodding at the other.
“Hi!” Ferdinand was grinning ear to ear. “You’re paler than I imagined. Do you really not get out much?”
“I do not, no.” Hubert looked up and down Ferdinand’s person. “You… are difficult to miss.”
“Thank you.” Ferdinand gestured down the street. “So The Jasmine Dragon is down that way, but I also wanted to show you a bakery nearby. Do you have a preference?”
“You do know that I live in this city,” Hubert questioned.
Ferdinand gestured vaguely. He was wearing a pair of white gloves. Hubert felt a little less self-conscious of his own gloves, though his were slate grey. It was cold enough to get away with them, but…
He didn’t like thinking about it.
“I do, I do, but you said it yourself: you do not leave your apartment very often. I thought that I would take advantage of this experience.” Ferdinand tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. He really had an almost obscene amount of hair. Hubert couldn’t imagine taking that much time out of his day to care for it. “So, where did you want to begin?”
Somehow, Hubert knew that I don’t care wouldn’t be an acceptable option. He almost said I don’t want to be here, but that wouldn’t be true and he tried not to lie if he could help himself.
“We should start with whichever is closer,” he answered instead. Ferdinand rolled his eyes.
“Of course you would say that, you pragmatic man. Come on, we will start with the bakery and you can buy one of your disgusting coffees. there.” Ferdinand started walking. Hubert only paused a moment before following. “How long have you lived here? Oh, before I forget—” Ferdinand pulled his phone out, threw an arm around Hubert, and took a selfie before Hubert could even ask what he was doing.
“Who demanded it?” Hubert asked, doubting that Ferdinand would willingly take a photo with him.
“Edelgard, actually. I think that she is convinced that you will not actually leave your house.” Ferdinand snorted. “Either she wants to hold you accountable, or she thinks that one of us is going to kill the other and wants evidence.”
Hubert chuckled. “If I killed you, there would not be any amount of evidence left to convict me.” It was just talk. Hubert hadn’t been interested in criminology or cadavers for many years.
Still, there was something that warmed in Hubert’s chest when Ferdinand laughed at his poor attempt at a joke.
The bakery was one of those mom and pop stores, a chalkboard with the specials set outside and mismatched tables and chairs scattered inside. There was a unique warmth that only freshly baked bread could bring and Hubert could admire the fact that they served only fair trade coffee. It was, essentially, the kind of place Hubert would have walked by every time, nowhere he would have even given a second thought.
But Ferdinand greeted the cashier with a warm smile and her name, got a chocolate croissant for himself and convinced Hubert to buy a blueberry muffin along with his dark roast.
“Thank you,” Ferdinand said as they left, “for humoring me. They’ve been here for as long as I can remember. I try to visit them every week.”
“You do not drink coffee,” Hubert pointed out. The bakery served tea, but Ferdinand had not purchased any.
“No, I do not if I can help it.” Ferdinand chuckled. “I was getting bagels for the office when I got a call from my doctor letting me know that I was approved for top surgery. I started crying from happiness, but they thought it was bad — I remember the owner setting a huge slice of quiche in front of me and telling me that I could cry in the back if I wanted.”
Hubert wasn’t sure what to say.
“That was kind of them,” he settled on.
“Truly. I will always remember them well for that.” Ferdinand shrugged. “Besides, they have the best pastries. There’s an okay place closer to where I live, but they use too much sugar.”
“I would have thought you have a sweet tooth,” Hubert replied.
“More than you, maybe, but not enough to want what they are serving. Maybe one day I’ll bring you there.” Ferdinand fell silent. Hubert wished that humans came with instruction manuals. “Only if you wanted, of course.”
“Yes, well, I do not hate this yet. You have another hour to change my mind,” Hubert said. Ferdinand laughed and launched into a conversation about the benefits of fresh air. Hubert didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem like Ferdinand minded.
Personally, Hubert thought the muffin was a bit dry. The coffee was okay, but it wasn’t any better than what he had at home. Ferdinand, however, was slightly more bearable in person than he would have thought.
Slightly. Marginally. Ever-so slightly.
Not like Hubert would admit that.
#
Hubert was content to sit and look at Eris every once in a while most days, grinding out levels or skills by himself and not being distracted with mindless chatter. With Fire Emblem down, he didn't have much to do. It was just out of boredom, he told himself, as he clicked on the server voice chat.
The familiar ping announcing that he had joined was met with a brief silence before the others realized just who had joined.
"Ate my eyes deceiving me? Has Hubie actually joined us willingly?" Dorothea teased.
"Hey! Welcome to Dragon Club. First rule is that you don't talk about Dragon Club." Caspar laughed at his own joke.
"We are playing the game Quiplash, if you wish to join us," Petra added.
The group's chatter overlapped and echoed strangely in his headphones. Hubert wondered if it was too late to leave and pretend that it had just been a mistake. Ferdinand's voice was the one that he heard, though, above the others.
“Hubert! My friend, have you tried the tea blend we got the other day yet?”
Dorothea gasped. “You bought tea? Ferdie, where’s my tea?”
“Yeah, Ferdie, where’s my tea?” Caspar parroted. Linhardt snorted at his boyfriend’s antics. “I’m funny and you know it,” Caspar added.
“Very funny, both of you,” Edelgard said in her serious voice. "Hello, Hubert.”
“Let the person answer my question,” Ferdinand said. Hubert ignored the weird stirring in his stomach at being called a person — not a woman, not a man, not even a human.
Hubert cleared his throat. “Thank you, Ferdinand. I did try it, but I think I will give it to you.”
“Curses. Too sweet?”
“Too much citrus.” Hubert adjusted his headset. “I found that the orange and lemon was too overpowering.”
"This is fascinating," Linhardt muttered.
"Well, you can give it to me this weekend, unless you have more brooding to do." Ferdinand laughed.
"I am fine with our plans." Hubert would be lying if he said that he wasn't looking forward, in some way, to seeing Ferdinand again.
They had spent most of the other day together, had talked about everything from tea and coffee to theater and video games. Ferdinand had played many other games while Hubert could only nod along as Ferdinand tried explaining them. Every indicator up until that day pointed to the two of them getting into a fight and marching off in a huff, but while they argued, Hubert had flashbacks to speech and debate tournaments rather than feeling the urge to strangle someone with his bare hands. It was refreshing. Hubert hadn’t felt that way in years.
"Wow, I think I must be dreaming. Someone pinch me," Dorothea said just in time to sour Hubert’s mood.
"It is not that surprising," Ferdinand argued.
"Um, yes it is," Caspar told him. "Didn't you once say that you wanted Hubert to get hit by a car?"
"Well—"
"I remember Hubert telling Ferdinand to find a swimming pool and sit at the bottom," Linhardt added helpfully.
"True," Hubert admitted.
"Wait, when was that?" Ferdinand asked.
"A few months ago," Edelgard recalled, "I think we were discussing summer plans."
Hubert could vaguely remember the occasion. He didn't remember the exact context, but that didn’t feel important.
“I would not want him to do that now,” Hubert muttered.
Bernadetta let out an exclamation, then a muffled squeak. “Sorry, ignore me.”
“No, what were you going to say?” Edelgard asked. Bernadetta didn’t respond, the only sound just another muffled noise that was most likely not human speech — or at least, not speech Hubert could understand.
“Well, I want to play more Quiplash. Is anyone up for another round?” Dorothea was streaming. Hubert clicked on her username and pulled up the screenshare. “Hubert, are you actually joining us?”
“Yes.” Hubert ran a finger over his keyboard. His skin, puckered and burnt, had a dark shadow from the red glow of his keyboard. He looked away as the others joined the stream. He opened his browser on his computer to join the room, but someone else added themself with the name Hubie right as the page loaded . Before he could ask, Hubert and Hubertte appeared as well. “I… What?” He asked.
Dorothea laughed. “Don’t worry about it,” she teased. Hubert wasn’t sure how he wasn’t supposed to worry — there was no way of knowing who was who, something that always made Hubert feel disconcerted.
But it also felt like something that was pointless to argue against, like trying to stop the tide from coming in, so Hubert just sighed. He hardly could enter as Hubert 2 as that felt too much like giving up, but Hubbie and Huebert joined the room and Hubert couldn’t think of any other way to spell his name — validity ignored.
So he settled for the first thing that came to mind.
Hysterical laughter roared through the group. Hubert could hear Caspar slam a hand against his desk, Dorothea sounded like she was crying from joy, and even Bernadetta was joining in.
“I probably deserve this,” Ferdinand said once he had control over himself. Hubert smirked, pleased that choosing I Am Ferdinand was such a success.
“You most certainly do,” Hubert told him. “Now, shall we begin?”
#
Hubert woke up the next morning to the sound of his alarm. He groped around in half a daze, locating his old fashioned clock and turning the alarm off with clumsy fingers. His chest hurt and he found himself, more than usual, wanting nothing more than to roll back over and go to sleep. Alas, it was a work day and he could not succumb to that weakness.
He sat up and wondered, as he stood and went to the bathroom to begin his routine, what Ferdinand was doing. He wondered how long it took Ferdinand to get ready for his work, whether he woke in time or was constantly rushing out the door. All that hair had to be difficult to manage. Would it be more efficient to wear it up at night, or would that merely cause problems later? Hubert had never tried to grow his hair past his chin — he could not imagine how Ferdinand had gotten his to the small of his back.
I wonder if his hair is soft. Perhaps I shall ask him this weekend. I should also consider bringing him a gift. Just to thank him for his friendship and company. After all. people bring gifts to people they like. Hubert stared at himself in the mirror.
“Fuck.”