Chapter Text
Author's Note:
In dichotomy to
Falling Apart, Barely Breathing
and Soothe
This is a light crackfic to enjoy.
Happy MerAdd reading everyone!
Let me know if you want more.
bobbiejelly
McCravings
McDreamy, McSteamy, McMeredith, and McHot all walk into a McDonalds. Hilarity ensues.
OR:
In Which Meredith and Derek are double-dating with Addison and Mark, and all of them are craving some good old-fashioned McDonalds.
How this turns into a gay/lesbian exchanging thing, nobody knows, remembers or cares at all; it is just all in the name of their intense McCravings all the same.
F/F. M/M. F/M (past and implied.) Addison/Meredith. Derek/Mark. MerAdd/Meddison. Also MerDer, Maddison. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice FF.
bobbiejelly
Chapter 1: Seven Seconds of Summer
Addison wants ice cream, Meredith wants ice cream, and their boyfriends Mark and Derek finally give in to them. Because they both want ice creams, as well, of course.
"You know, I could really go for a McFlurry, I'm just so hecking' hot," says Addison Montgomery to Mark Sloan, her current boyfriend at the time.
"You know, me too, can we go now? It's been like, seven seconds of summer so far and it's super-duper annoying and not at all like seven-minutes-in-heaven out here" says Meredith Grey, to Derek Shepherd, her current boyfriend at the time.
How all of them ended up being friends after all this whole ordeal, nobody knows, nobody remembers or cares at all. It is just all in the name of the game in their now double-dating friendship that seems to have arisen out of mutual friend groups and understanding.
"Can you drive, Derek? I've already had two beers," Mark Sloan huffs, pointing to his empty beer bottles.
"Sure, you owe me one though, I always seem to drive," Derek grunts, pointing to his empty lemonade can.
So it's summer, it's really really summertime. And it's really really sweltering. And this heat is really really getting on all their nerves all at once all of a sudden.
And apparently the solution seems to be ice cream and maybe even a burger. Because craving some good old-fashioned McDonald's is sort of all of their mutual guilty pleasure, it seems.
"Fine," Derek concedes to Mark, eventually, getting up with a sigh to find his keys.
It's exhausting because it's like, over 92 Degrees Fahrenheit outside. And so every step feels like a marathon.
"Why is it that the girls never seem to drive us," Derek whines at no one in particular.
"Because you always get us drunk so you can take advantage of us all day," Meredith quips to Derek quickly, grinning at her win from an old joke from some time, forever ago.
"Mm, yeah and you like to see our lips on the bottle 'cause that kind of turns you on," Addison quips to Mark in tune with her.
Meredith and Addison giggle at their mutual joking with their boyfriends, and Addison offers Meredith a quick high-five at her even quicker comeback than hers was.
It's one of those nonsensical debates they seem to all start having while laying back on four separate-but-close-together-lawn-chairs-out-on-Derek's-land.
They do this pretty often, now, sit in summer clothes and feel the breeze from that pretty hilltop view that Derek can't stop showing off to Mark, his best friend, and thus also, both of their current, and respective, girlfriends.
"Ugh, fine, I guess I get owed sex, then," Derek huffs in a mock of annoyance.
"Yeah, yeah, everyone owes you everything, all the time, Mr. Sunshine," Addison sticks up for Meredith for this one.
"Hey, does someone owe ME sex?" Mark says, feeling left out and pretending to be dejected.
"You already get lots and lots of sex," Addison pouts at him with a grin.
Meredith tries not to look at both of them enviously, knowing they probably have more sex than she and Derek do all the time.
"Hey, leave her alone, now," Meredith interjects from her own thoughts. Addison just stood up for her, so it's the least she can to return with a similar flavor.
"Mm, but what if she doesn't want me to leave her alone now, huh, what if she just wants to get me to be with her, all alone," Mark says in the least subtle way possible.
"Oh, just keep it in your pants, McSteamy, it's time for our McFlurries!" Addison shouts at him as she gets up from her lawn chair and holds out a hand to help Meredith out of hers.
"Hey, why don't I get a handjob," Mark says in an even more obvious of a double-entendre.
"Derek's gone to get his keys, I'm just helping a girl out right here, aren't I, Meredith. It's not only the boys who can be a gentleman, you know," Addison snarks right back at Mark now.
"Mm, you better watch out, Mark, I might just steal her for myself. Clearly her chivalry is exceeding yours in every single way possible," Meredith grins right up at Addison.
They also all do this, pretty often, now, as well. The flirting with each other's partners. To outside observers or strangers, it might seem like a headfuck love square.
To the naked eye with their jokes and their looks in their comments intermingling all the way, it's pretty damn hard to tell just who is 'officially' paired up with who between the four of them.
Because of course originally it was Derek and Addison, but then Addison slept with Mark.
And then Derek divorced with Addison, and then Mark came back to Seattle.
And then Derek made up with Mark again, and Addison started dating Mark.
And then Derek started dating Meredith again, as he'd been doing all along since-
Well, since he moved to Seattle to escape Addison and Mark once-upon-a-time-in-NYC.
And now, somehow after all of this, all of them are friends together.
And the four of them do things like this all summer, like hanging out on lawn chairs, drinking beers and lemonades.
And one might think that the only complications might be something like Derek still lusting occasionally over his ex-wife.
Or Mark having a sudden impulse to stare at his ex-dirty-mistress-counterpart in a tank top.
Or for Addison to be nostalgic about what Derek was like in the bedroom.
Or for Meredith to get curious about just how McSteamy is McSteamy.
But those are not the only complications, because none of them are only straight at all.
So there's always the 'Addison and Meredith' flirting with each other all the damn the time.
And that usually brings up enough manly jealousy for Derek and Mark to lean into each other.
And so their love-square or trapezoid or parallelogram or anything with four-interlocking-points-type-shape-that-is has all the potential connections and re-connections one could ever attempt to reconfigure.
And apparently the next step on their love-square-but-not journey is to head to McDonald's for McFlurries.
And of course, their sexual and physical and emotional appetites are all entangled.
This normally wouldn't be all that perplexing to imagine. But seeing as the current joking style at their workplace is McNaming, all the McCravings get mixed up with the McPeople.
Because "McSteamy, McDreamy, McMeredith and McHot all walk into a McDonald's - what could possibly go wrong...?"
...Might have sounded like a really interesting bar joke, if at all.
And how they ended up intertwined in this wacky and wild mess in the summer, well, if you'd have asked any one of them after all of it was over...
Well, they probably might have just blamed it all on the 'many of the McDonald's ice creams'...
*
*
*
*
*
***** END OF CHAPTER ONE
Author's Note:
When I suggested this to a friend of mine, they said I HAD to write it.
So this is for them, and also for you.
Yes, chapter two will exist up at some point.
But I thought I'd offer you a tease,
And make you wait to get your fill.
Sort of like these four headed to McDonald's-
To get much more than they might have ever bargained for…
Leave a note if you want me to continue.
I take suggestions and requests all the time.
See you later in the COMMENTS,
My dear friends of mine.
bobbiejelly
Other works to check out if you haven't, already, while you wait on an update: