Work Text:
"Lip reading/Tendou talking since he can't hear himself."
-"Sign language"-
Satori stepped into the huge gymnasium of Shiratorizawa academy with jittery excitement in every step. The regulars and his new senpai's practiced on the court in the center of the room, displaying the kind of talent you would expect from a prestigious, powerhouse school and it awed him that after all his hard work, he'd finally made it. Eager to hopefully impress the coach and his senpai's, Satori crossed the space until he was standing in line with five other students he vaguely recognized from orientation, waving at them as he came to stand in line. He bowed with his peers, maybe bending down a little too enthusiastically.
They introduced themselves one by one. Satori didn't catch the names of his peers, unable to see them from his position. With the exception of Ushijima Wakatoshi, the tallest of them all and a hell of an attractive guy now that Satori got a moment to look him over from his left. He'd have to ask again later about the others when he could face them.
Once that was over, they practiced as instructed, running through some warmups and standard drills before the younger coach split them into two five person teams and had them play. It went relatively smoothly, Satori relying on his intuition for blocking and for those times when someone was trying to grab his attention outside of his immediate focus. By the tenth set he'd gotten by with only two shoulder pats for his attention and he mentally congratulated himself for that. By the end of it, he'd pulled off some killer blocks and he'd danced on the spot a little at the impressed look on his senpais faces when they were directed at him.
He and the other first years lined up again, as appeared customary here instead of just huddling and waiting, while the team's captain and vice stopped in front of each of them, giving them feedback. He paid avid attention to what they said to the other first years, earning odd looks from the rest of the team until finally it was his turn.
“Your intuition is scarily good and if you stick to conditioning, you'll be able to fine tune that reaction time. But you've got the talent and definitely the enthusiasm. You need to work on communication though. Pay a little more attention and listen out for your teammates behind you.”
Satori just smiled, saluting wholeheartedly and not let the sinking feeling in his gut take down the glowing praise he just got. He could easily forget the comment in light of the positive feedback as opposed to the distasteful look he got from his former coach. After returning to school after the accident, he'd tried to just act normally, denying the fact that things where never going to be the same. Starting middle school meant and getting used to a new normal had been tough and his coach had been about as happy about his play style as she was with having to deal with a deaf student, an unpleasant experience he'd been happy to put behind him. Now having a good handle on lipreading and being hyper aware of his surroundings, High school is going to be different, the complete fresh start he needed.
He sought out the other first years outside of practice, spotting them in classes and snatching up a seat next to or near them. He was delighted to find that he and Semi Eita were rooming together just a few doors down from Ushijima and Reon's room. Hayato, the aspiring libero, also nearby, rooming next to them with another student. After just a few days, he'd managed to pull them all together at lunch and it became routine. Outside of schooling hours, some or all of the team were all too happy to come and hang out in one of their rooms most afternoons.
They fell into an easy rhythm of studying and hanging out together after practice, a completely new but definitely welcome experience and Satori made exhaustive efforts to keep up with conversations, act like he was a completely normal teenager without letting them catch on to the fact that he had complete hearing loss. If having a group of friends didn't mean enough to him, having people who didn't treat him like a hindrance was a whole other experience and he wanted to keep it that way.
-1-
Satori couldn't help but be drawn to Ushijima. His distaste for unnecessary conversation, and the way he locked himself in a metaphorical cage of his own making intrigued Satori to no end and his lack for unnecessary conversation paired with how he always spoke facing whomever he was talking to made his company easy. Both polar opposites and yet that just pulled Satori in even more. They both shared several subject classes so it was natural that Satori knocked on his door frequently asking if they could do their homework together. Partially because Satori ended up missing things when their teachers faced away from the class, and partially because his lack of a need for conversation and seeming satisfaction with being talked at more than too allowed Satori a chance to focus more on other things.
The only problem was that he was left handed and favored sitting on the right side of the table during classes. This being a problem as when their teacher turned away from the class, the time when Satori usually peaked over to his table neighbor to copy what they wrote so he didn't miss anything, it was impossible to see over Wakatoshi's arm and he missed most of it. Unfortunately they took a lot of classes together on Thursdays, meaning Satori missed a lot.
After a long day, he traipsed to his friend’s room, knowing Reon would be out for his other club activities, and was glad to find Wakatoshi alone.
“Hay, you finished with your social studies homework? I missed some notes and I can't figure out what I missed to finish the assignment, mind if I join ya?” He asked, holding up his books as if to prove it. Ushijima just nodded and stepped to the side so Satori could enter.
“I've just started it. What notes did you miss?” He asked as he followed him back to his bed where he had his own notes tidily arranged in front of him. Satori sat at the foot of the bed and made himself comfortable against the wall.
“I don't know, that's the problem,” He laughed, pulling the notebook from his pile and flicking through the pages until he found the most recent ones and showed the blank spaces he'd left to Ushijima. Wakatoshi took the notes, picking his own notebook and looking at them with a frown. Satori waited for him to return them but Wakatoshi continued looking, books held up and annoyingly covering the view of his mouth. After a few seconds of Wakatoshi not returning it, he waved.
“You there? Can I just copy the blank bits in from your notes? Easiest way to do it.” Wakatoshi frowned, dropping his hands and offering both of them to Satori.
“I just said you can copy mine.” Satori flushed, he'd probably spoken while holding the books up.
“Oh. Sorry. Zoned out a little bit there. Thanks Wakatoshi-kun, you're the best!” Ushijima looked at him for a second longer before sitting against the wall next to Satori. They sat in silence for a bit, or at least Wakatoshi did, Satori talking out loud more to himself than anything and he grinned when he finished writing up the notes and handed the book back. Now to start the actual homework. At some point, Wakatoshi had stopped moving and it took some time for Satori to notice. When he did, he looked up to find Wakatoshi still frowning at him. Or what he deducted as a frown with it merely being the slightest cinch in his brow that made his resting face a little more piercing.
“What's up? You stuck on something?”
“No, I was just asking if you found the notes easy to read.” Satori once again cringed at that, laughing awkwardly and letting a hand get lost in his hair.
“Aah, sorry. I was pretty focused. They're fine Toshi, thanks for lending me them!” He mused, wishing Wakatoshi would stop staring at him with that odd expression.
“You're welcome.” If he thought anything of it, Wakatoshi didn't mention it as he went back to his own notes. Satori tried to concentrate on the homework but he made a habit of glancing at Wakatoshi to see if he was talking, not wanting to seem like a complete idiot, it proved to be a nuisance as he struggled to focus completely on the assignment. Maybe just a little because he was nice to look at though, that certainly didn't help his concentration. He seemed completely engrossed in working on the material himself so Satori let himself focus entirely on the homework.
An hour or two passed and Satori stretched, glad to set aside the books and his now completed homework, ready to hand in the following day. With complete notes, he didn't actually need any help getting through it. When he turned to Wakatoshi again, he was staring at him with that odd expression this time that Satori couldn't decipher. Self-consciousness edged into his bones, wondering if he was somehow doing something that made his company uncomfortable.
“Have I got something on my face?” he asked, a little anxious of the answer. Wakatoshi's expression turned thoughtful, jaw shifting in a way that looked like he was trying to work out how to word something.
“You're like my grandmother,” he said. Satori's brows shit towards his hairline and he snorted.
“Where did that come from? I'm sure your grandmother is a lovely person but that doesn't exactly come across like a compliment Toshi,” He managed through fits of laughter, not sure how to feel about the statement. Wakatoshi didn't speak for a few moments, almost looking uncomfortable. After a while, he shook his head.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Would you like to do something that isn't homework or do you want to go to your room?” Satori lit up at the question, earlier discomfort gone.
“As a matter of fact, it would be nice to have someone to read Shonen Jump with?” He said it more like a question, giving Wakatoshi an out if he wanted it. He didn't strike Satori as someone who had much interest in reading manga. To his surprise, Wakatoshi gave a tiny smile.
“That sounds fun.”
-2 -
The second slip up was one evening with Eita, the two having finished their studying for the night alone for a change. Satori was tired from their club's intense conditioning routines, and getting used to the landslide of high school homework they needed to keep up with was tough, a grueling task but one to be expected. Before Satori could announce he was done for the night, Eita nudged his elbow against Satori's, grabbing his attention.
“Do you want to watch a movie? Or some anime or something? I'm done with this for today.”
“Yes, please. I'm not done but my brain is going to melt if I try to do any more right now.” Satori didn't think about it and agreed easily, tired but warming to the idea of just hanging out. They had spent so much time studying and practicing in the first few weeks that they'd not taken the time to just chill out besides short casual chats between lessons and studying.
They cleared the piles to their respective desks and, without thinking, Satori pulled his laptop towards them, opening the usual streaming site he went to and browsed for titles while they both made themselves comfortable laying side by side on their fronts. He finally picked a new title he had on his to-watch list and hit the play button. A few seconds into watching it, Eita pulled the laptop towards them.
“Hay, what's up? Don't like it already? You can't be that picky” He teased, turning to Eita as he frowned down at the laptop. Either because his brain was indeed melting or because the angle was too awkward to read his lips, he couldn't work out what Eita was saying.
“What's up? Didn't catch that, sorry.” Eita turned to him with a raised brow.
“There's no sound and the subtitles are annoying. What do you mean what's wrong?” Satori's eyes widened a fraction, panic rising in his chest. The settings saved automatically and he'd never had a need for sound, not for many years anyway. Mentally kicked himself for letting something so stupid slip past him, he forced a laugh while Eita turned off the subs and turned the sound on.
“Confirmed. My brain is melting a few weeks into first year., How does it feel to be rooming with a slowly devolving zombie?” He dismissed, hoping it was enough. Eita gave him a strange look and focused on the screen, now playing with no subtitles but didn't comment. Satori struggled to concentrate after that, not really absorbing anything any of the characters said, it was nearly impossible to lip-read animated characters and he could only guess so much of it. By the end of it, he felt uncomfortable, hoping Eita was too tired to discuss it or didn't have much to say about it. Once the credits rolled, his attention snapped to Eita who merely yawned and rolled off the bed.
“Hmm, interesting. We can watch more another time. I'm going to bed.” Satori breathed a sigh of relief.
“Same. Night,” He said, putting the laptop away and rolling into bed facing the wall, not hearing Eita trying to continue the conversation.
-3-
The second time he nearly slipped was one morning before practice a few months later. He'd gotten a really high score on one of the midterm tests he'd been dreading the day before and he was still in a good mood about it, humming a theme tune he still remembers from years ago. Hayato, who'd been changing next to him, nudged his shoulder. Satori jumped a little at the contact and turned to him in surprise. Hayato grinned sympathetically.
“You're in a good mood today. Spacing out a little more than usual?” Satori just laughed.
“Sorry, I'm miles away. What's up?”
“I said what's that theme tune from? I remember it but I can't think of what it's from.” Satori beamed.
“It's the Full Metal Alchemist intro! The original series. Did you watch it?” Hayato's expression lit up.
“That series was awesome. Don't you watch loads of anime though? Some of the more recent series have better openings.” Satori shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't know about anything more recent, the theme he'd been humming had been one of the last one he'd heard. Naturally, he remembered it well.
“Can't beat the classics. Have you seen the ads for the remake? Looks pretty good.” He let out a breath when Hayato didn't press anymore.
“Yeah I can't wait. It's gonna be awesome if they do it well.”
“Me neither. It's due to start airing in March. Want to watch it when it starts airing?” Hayato nodded enthusiastically while pulling a tshirt over his head.
“Sounds great. We could kick Semi or my roommate out and make a thing of it. Have you heard the intro? They released a preview of it a few days ago.” Satori shook his head.
“Not yet, I haven't checked it out yet, any good?” Hayato fished his phone from his bag and Satori cringed a little, looking around for a reason to change the subject but coming up blank.
“Nah, you need to hear this, I'm going to be listening to it on repeat for hours when they release the full audio, it sounds awesome!” Satori ran out of luck as Hayato found his phone, presumably pulled up the clip and held it between them so Satori could 'listen' to it. Satori just stared at the phone, bobbing his head minutely in what he hoped was in time to the music and Hayato dropped the phone with an expectant expression. Satori feigned his best look of amazement.
“That going to be my next addiction. I'll definitely be adding it to my playlist when it comes out!” He mused, glad Hayato seemed too enthusiastic to notice if anything was off.
“Oh you bet. Oh, what you got on your main? Don't think I've ever seen you with headphones before. What do you usually listen to? I've got a terabyte of music in an external. Life isn't the same without a soundtrack.” Satori cringed just like he had with Eita a few weeks prior as Hayato swiped his phone from his lax grip.
“Hay!” He complained, reaching up to grab it but finding the much smaller teen jumping out of his reach swiftly. He came to a stop when the rest of the team was between them and went through his phone, ignoring the groan of Semi who was trying to have a conversation with Wakatoshi. Hayato's expression turned from mischievous to confused and he looked up at Satori from across the changing room with a thick brow raised.
“You... don't have any music on your phone. At all.” Satori finally caught up to him and snatched his phone back maybe a little to fast.
“No, I have a walkman. Why would you put music on your phone when it clogs up the memory and slows it down?” He snarked, congratulating himself for the swiftness at which he pulled the smooth lie out of nowhere, returning to his part of the bench to start taping his fingers up. He didn't look up again until Hayato was tapping him on the shoulder and Satori was met with a surprisingly apologetic look.
“Hay, sorry about that. And a walkman? Really? How old are you?” An easy smile tugged at Satori's lips as he straightened, just as he caught sight of their upperclassmen filing out of the changing room. He didn't see Hayato turn to Semi with a questioning look and receive a confused shrug in return.
“Are you seriously telling me you'd rather fill up your phone with music when you can put it on a walkman and use all that space for cool fanart and stuff?” Hayato's probing stare melted and he rolled his eyes playfully.
“Weird logic but guess you have a point. Sorry, we good?” He asked, offering his fist. Satori bumped it happily and slapped the reserve libero on the back as he followed the rest of the team into the gym.
“We're good.”
-4-
The fourth time was merely days later. Semi had disappeared to Hayato's room to work on homework and Satori sat in his room alone with his laptop propped up on his lap. He rarely found time completely alone suddenly having so many friends so it was difficult to take his online JSL classes without raising some questions. Now that he'd gotten on top of his homework and had a few hours alone, he'd emailed his tutor to let him know he'd be available for an hour. Glad to get back into it, he followed along with the live lesson, following what the tutor was signing and responding and mimicking the new signs he taught. After going through everything the tutor had to offer, their sign conversation turned casual for the remaining ten minutes of the session. His tutor being something of an anime fan and spotting one of his tshirts in an session when he'd first started learning meant they'd formed something of a friendship. He didn't have much use for it right now, but he figured it would be useful when he finished high school and maybe college, so he'd made a point of becoming as fluent as he could.
Completely engrossed in the lesson, he didn't notice as Ohira let himself in, the door having been unlocked since they had all fallen into the habit of coming and going between each other's rooms so often. He jumped a little when he caught Ohira's hand waving at him and snapped the laptop shut out of reflex.
“Jeez, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What's up?” he asked, sliding the laptop across the bed and propping his chin on both his knuckles, elbows on his knees. Ohira looked surprised, holding up a notebook with Eita's name scrawled across the front.
“Just passing these back. Was that sign language? That's pretty cool.” he said as he dropped the book on the messy pile on Eita's desk. Satori pouted.
“You know it's kinda creepy to sneak into someone's bedroom and watch them yanno. Something you wanna tell me huh? Huuuuuuuh?” The questioning look turned to amusement as Ohira sat himself on Semi's bed.
“Well I'm definitely not into girls if you must know, but you're not really my type. Too much of a twink.” Satori barked a genuine laugh.
“Oh, you more into bara guys? We share a brain cell. Maybe we'll end up fighting over Wakatoshi at some point.” Ohira actually tilted his head back, jaw hanging open in an uncharacteristic fit of laughter. Ohira was usually reserved and unruffled in his actions and seeing him react so strongly made Satori smile. When he sobered, his expression turned taunting.
“He isn't really my type either, but good to know you have a little for future blackmail. Anyway, why didn't you tell anyone you know JSL? Don't know much about it but that looked pretty fluent. Have you been learning it for a while?” Satori nodded, this being a topic he didn't really have to think up a lie for, already having an excuse in mind most of which was actually true.
“Yeah, I just think it's cool? I have a friend from Tokyo who's deaf and figured it would be pretty cool to learn, been teaching me for a few years and we talk about anime and stuff.” Ohira's eyes widened in wonder.
“That is cool. It's pretty considerate that you learnt just so you could talk to him over video call too. Don't worry, I won't let anyone know that you're actually a really nice guy.” He said with an amused look. Satori grinned conspiritively.
"You best not. I have a rep for being the team clown to uphold." Reon rolled his eyes.
“Okay, you do you. But why do you hide that anyway? It's not like an embarrassing secret or anything.” This time Satori did cringe a little, mentally berating himself for reacting the way he did when Ohira snuck up on him.
“Um.. well.. It's...You just made me jump, that's all. Sens- I mean Kaito is kinda weird about anyone being around when we video call.” Seriously? That's the best you could come up with? He mentally berated himself. Ohira raised a brow, probably not believing it but he shrugged anyway.
“Okay, none of my business. Tell Eita I said thanks for lending me his notes, I'll be out of my room after nine tonight for an hour if you want some alone time again with 'Wakatoshi-kun’,” he said before leaving. Satori's entire face warmed up at the implication. He had been spending some time here and there with Wakatoshi whenever he got the chance, but he thought he'd been discreet about it. Apparently not discreet enough, he thought as he threw a pillow at his teammate, hitting him in the back with it just before he exited, shouting victory as Ohira flashed a smirk over his shoulder as he left.
-5-
The spring tournament was an exciting time. Satori and the rest of the first years, excluding Wakatoshi, had sat on the bench for the entirety of the autumn nationals watching from the sidelines and occasionally subbing in briefly. But this time, the coaches had strategies to include them if they needed to change things up more. Their incredible team had made it to nationals for the second time, the first time placing third in autumn and now at the spring tournament, they were confident in as they once again set foot in the huge Tokyo gym. They faced a familiar team they had beaten the prior year in their second match in. Satori stood in the reserves box, cheering the team enthusiastically during the final set, both teams wracking up points at a consistent stalemate and just a few points away from match point when he noticed Washijou beckoning at him. Looking at his teammates and pointing at himself for clarification, he jogged over to the bench as Wakatoshi served, having been on the starting lineup pretty much since day one.
“I want you to switch with Kazuki, he's at his limit and your technique will throw them off. I'm counting on you,” Washijou said, handing him the number three plaque. Looking at it with wide eyes, he nodded, practically dancing back towards the box. He'd missed Wakatoshi's no touch ace, and joined in with the cheering belatedly before stepping forward and holding up the plaque. He'd switched in and out occasionally through the qualifiers but not at such a crucial moment, the thought excited him even more and Washijou's faith chased away some of the nerves before they could take root. Kazuki jogged over and took the plaque, giving him a smile and a pat on the back as he passed. Satori took his place on the left, staring down the opposing team who looked at him wearily.
“Hello little foxies,” He sang just before the whistle blew and Wakatoshi served again. The ball was received this time, going from the libero to one of the wing spikers and making its way towards the setter in a high arc. Satori watched, seeing one of the wing spikers move in with another. Just for a second, Satori saw the setter tilt his head left before positioning himself to set, a discrete signal he'd noticed throughout the match. Hoping he was correct, he ran to the far right, keeping an eye on where the wing spikers were. He saw one glance in his rough direction. Bingo.
The only blocker there, he jumped, deliberately leaving a wide-open space between his hands and his left. The spikers palm connected with the ball, and it went directly towards where Satori had predicted it would go. With the agility their rigorous conditioning sessions had built up, he shifted his hands swiftly, keeping his wrists rigid and palms angled down. The force of the ball stung as it hit his palms, and he watched with already mounting satisfaction as it was sent barreling downwards, hitting the floor just before the libero could make it in time to keep it in the air.
Hands collided with his back, tearing his focus from the satisfyingly shocked look of his opponents faces and he was barraged by his upper class men's easy to read “nice kill”'s, almost losing his footing at the strength of a particularly burly third year spikers dig to his shoulder, drinking it in and pumping both fists in the air.
“I read it right!”
The last few point climb to the end went well. Satori's blocking scored them an extra two points, but one wrongly guessed play nearly cost one of them had it not been for their libero's impressive receiving. One strong serve from Inarizaki's spiker brought them three points away and one badly returned ball took them another point closer, leaving them at 21-23.
And now it was Satori's turn to serve and with no switches left, he couldn't just be switched out for someone else.
He swallowed as he took the ball and walked back, nerves creeping up on him. He hadn't perfected his floater but he'd pulled it off successfully in practice matches. Two points behind in the final set of a nationals match? Obviously not. The captain tapped him on the shoulder, grabbing his attention before he reached the outside of the court, and spoke quickly.
“Try not to let the band throw you off,” he probably whispered, giving an encouraging nod as he focused on the team across the net. Satori tried not to flush. As he stepped outside the court markings, he looked up at the stands opposite, not really having paid them much heed. The marching band was impressive, students enthusiastically playing their instruments and cheerleaders shouting almost angrily from the looks on their faces, probably at the top of their lungs. Satori took a calming breath, a dark smile creeping up his face as he spun the ball between his fingers before sweeping the opposing court for where to serve. Whatever distracting ruckus the band where trying to create was useless against him.
He served with confidence, sending the ball towards the setter in the far corner who moved out of the way, the ball hitting the floor just within the markings. The ball boys pointed their flags down, confirming it in and the point theirs. He danced on his feet with the victory and basked in the cheers sent his way, not needing to hear it to know how much support they were noisily sending his way. His second serve was received and returned, but clumsily, giving them a chance ball which their ace slammed down in a perfect line shot.
A deuce at twenty-four. The rotation carried him back to the front line, pulling his best mocking smile at the wing spiker opposite and enjoying the way he scowled at him, satisfied with having shut down two of his spikes previously. The match took a turn, Inarizaki having collected themselves and brought in a pinch hitter who scored a clean service ace that put Inari at match point. Satori hissed, shaking it off and readying himself for the next one, razor focus pinned to the ball. It was messily received by their ace, the back row scrambling to get it to the setter, and Satori scrambled, moving out of the way for their other wing spiker to hit it.
In doing so he missed the hand signal from their setter. He missed the shout of his name as the ball left the setter’s hands, heading directly above him. A cold sensation settled in his stomach as he panicked when he turned to see it coming towards him. Launching himself into the air as fast as he could but already knowing he wasn't going to get it. He swung his arm anyway, fingertips barely brushing the ball as it hurled past, and watching uselessly as it flew off the pitch, too far out of reach for anyone to save it. In that moment he knows that if not for his complete hearing loss, things might have turned out differently.
The trip home was quiet. Or, Satori knows it's quiet from the way everyone sat staring out of the windows. The usual animation absent. He sat next to Wakatoshi in silence, his crush currently asleep with his head resting against the glass, exhausted from playing two straight matches from beginning to end, and Satori was relieved. The team had reassured him that he did well, and that these things just happen. Their setter apologized and said he panicked and thought sending the ball to Satori would really throw them, but Satori couldn't push down the knowledge that there wasn't any reason for their loss other than him. He hated it.
When they got back home, Washijou told them to carry out one hundred practice serves. Collectively groaning, they set up the nets and prepared to fulfill their punishment.
“Satori, a word.” Satori saw Washijou speak, cringing at the sidelong, sympathetic glances he got from the team as he slowly traipsed towards the door Washijou lead him to. Dread washed over him as they made their way to Washijou's office and since he was trailing behind, he prayed the coach wasn't speaking. If he was and thought Satori was ignoring him, he didn't look back expecting an answer.
In the privacy of Washijou's office, the coach sat down behind his desk, inclining at the seat opposite and intertwining his fingers. Satori sat obediently, wanting nothing more than to stare down at his knees but not being able to from fear of missing anything. They stared each other out for several seconds, Satori shifting uncomfortably under the scrutiny before the coaches wrinkled lips finally started moving.
“I've noticed a few things over the year about you. You don't pay any attention to what's going on behind you when you're not looking and you don't respond to being called, and at first I just thought it was you being.... you. But you've taken all of the feedback given in your stride. While you've improved drastically over the year, that particular point still creeps up a lot, and it reminded me of a particular American-Polish gold medalist player and I checked your file.” Satori was at a loss of words, not sure of what to make of the coach's use of words. His expression wasn't accusatory, so he wasn't sure what to make of it. Washijou's hand disappeared and he dropped a file with a picture of Satori himself clipped to the front of it, along with what looked like a print out of a wiki page from behind the desk. To Satori's surprise, a soft smile wrinkled the coach's cheeks and the slight flare of his nostrils told that he might have been laughing.
“Don't look so down, I didn't bring you here to scold you.” His amused expression settled to something akin to sympathy. “I noticed a few other things and it got me thinking. Have you heard of a player called David Smith?” Satori shook his head jerkily, oblivious to what this had to do with anything. Washijou slid the stapled printouts towards him. “That's a surprise, he's a pretty impressive player. Gold medalist in the Olympics, played for American and Polish teams, highly desirable and incredible play style. And he also had total hearing loss. You both have some similar habits.” Satori flinched, a chill running over him and he nearly missed what Washijou was saying, dread coiling in his stomach.
"I'm sorry you lost your hearing, that's a lot for someone your age to have to deal with but you hide it pretty well and compensate effectively. I'm actually very impressed.” Satori's eyes widened as the coach talked, almost missing most of it as his mind reeled. His hands automatically came up to chest level, gesturing wildly while he spoke.
“Sir, I swear I'll work on it. I promise I'll work it out and... I just want to play volleyball the way that makes me feel good like I said at the start of the year. I-” Washijou brings up a hand in a silencing motion and Satori closes his mouth, holding back tears that wanted to fall.
“I'm not kicking you off the team, nor have I changed my mind about making you a regular once the alumnus leave.”
“W..what?” Satori stammered uselessly, completely taken aback by the coach's words. Maybe he'd lip-read wrong? Washijou smiled a little wider and patted the file resting innocently on the desk.
“I said I haven't changed my mind about making you a regular on the team once the alumnus have left. I do want to know why you haven't told anyone, however. I assumed there was a reason you haven't told the school nor any of the team about it, because it would make working on a more efficient strategy to accommodate for it more effective. That and it would make everyone's lives easier, yours included.” Satori chewed his lip. The bright spark that had flickered in him at the mentioned becoming a regular next year extinguished faster than it had ignited. He slumped against his chair and sighed, exhaustion from the day's highs and lows crashing into him all at once.
“It was always bothersome. Everyone treated me differently when I was in middle school because of it, and my old coach didn't know how to deal with it and it made things.... not so fun. Not fun at all. I can get by on lip-reading and just paying attention, and I’ll get better. I don't want to be treated like a deadweight. I don't want it to rule my life and I want people to see me as me and not just 'the deaf kid',” he admitted, cheeks warm with embarrassment. It was probably childish, this desire to just be normal, or as normal as he could be with his eccentricities that he knew already made him stick out as it was. This was probably the part where Washijou gave him an ultimatum, but the coach shocked him for the nth time in the last few minutes, starting with a shrug, something akin to pride twinkling in his age dulled eyes.
“That's fine by me. As long as you can score points, I don't mind. I won't force you to tell the team since you manage almost perfectly fine on your own, but give it some thought. It would make everyone’s lives easier. I didn't make a mistake in switching you in during that last part of the match, it was a tough ball to return and everyone had a part in it so don't beat yourself up to much over it. Go and do your serves and watch some videos of David's matches. You might pick up a thing or two.” The last few sentences had Satori baffled again. He stood and bowed low at the clear dismissal, thanking him profusely while once again fighting tears as he stumbled towards the door as fast as he could, a last burst of energy making him excited to get back to the gym.
-6-
The last month of his first year was tough. Volleyball practices were reduced to twice a week while they studied for finals and they said goodbye to the third years who stopped coming to practice all together. The first years had become incredibly tight knit with the second and third years over the terms, enough so that saying goodbye was a tearful event while the third years devoted themselves to studying for finals and college entrance exams. The five first years cramming into one of their rooms to study became a daily occurrence as they exhaustively tried to absorb as much information as possible before the dreaded two weeks of testing commenced.
Much to Satori's dismay, he'd come down with a summer cold. The team had squeezed themselves into Satori and Eita's room this evening and he currently sat sandwiched between the wall and Hayato on his bed. With a spread of English text books out in front of them, he wanted nothing more than to roll into bed and sleep for a week. His head pounded and the pile of tissues in the bin at the bed’s foot did little to clear his blocked nose or streaming, irritated eyes. His focus had waned but now he mourned the time he'd wasted trying to force himself to study, knowing he'd have to go through the hours' worth of notes he could barely recall again as soon as this cursed cold was over.
"Fuck. None of this makes any sense.” He complained while trying pointedly to clear his nose once again. Hayato turns to him with a disgruntled look.
“Gross.” Satori tried to frown at him but he knew himself it was pointless, he probably just looked pathetic.
“Why are you sitting so close? If you get sick then that's on you.”
“I just got over that cold. It's literally......same cold twice and...... catching it off me in the first place.” Satori's groggy brain struggled to follow what Hayato was saying, but he missed most of it, dropping his head into his crossed arms with a groan.
“My brain feels like it's gonna explode,” He complained. He stayed like that for a while, the darkness a small mercy until someone nudged him again. When he looked up, everyone's lips were moving. Hayato was talking to him, and behind him he could see Eita and Reon talking, looking between Satori and each other. From his place sat on the floor, Wakatoshi’s lips were also moving. Satori's focus darted between them, trying to pay attention but barely catching anything at all.
“We should take.... go to...”
“.....idea.... you should....”
“....you okay? You..... “
“....Tendou.....”
“GUYS PLEASE! JUST STOP TALKING A SECOND!” He yelled in frustration, collapsing his head in his hands and tangling his fingers in his hair. “Just, give me a second, I can't follow right now,” He added without yelling or thinking. He wasn't sure but he assumed the room had fell into silence, no one's lips moving.
And then the strangest thing happened.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Wakatoshi straighten and shift to his right, more into Satori's line of sight, and slowly started moving his hands. Fingers shifting in familiar signing that Satori had no trouble at all reading.
-”Maybe you need rest. You won't do you favor if you push yourself.”- Satori rubbed his eyes, staring between Wakatoshi's now still hands and his neutral expression. His signing wasn't perfect but it was clear enough what he was trying to say. Trying to sign. Satori's eyes darted between Wakatoshi and the rest of his friends, seeing mutual confusion on all of their faces as their eyes shifted from Wakatoshi to himself and he shrunk under the gaze. Wakatoshi's hands start moving again and his attention snaps back to that, having no trouble at all following.
-“Are you okay?”- Finally finding his voice, he forces his jaw to move.
“You know JSL?” He asked. He couldn't hear his own voice but the tightness of his throat made him know it was probably small. Wakatoshi nodded with a tiny smile.
-“My grandmother's hearing has been declining for years so self and mother start learning. Grandmother gets angry when lots of people talking and you do same things she does.”- Satori didn't know what to say, still reeling from this new information. He was too scared to look at his teammates, tentatively readjusting himself and started signing back.
-”I'm sorry, that's awful. Your signing is pretty good though.”-
-”Thank you. How severe it for you?”- Satori chewed his lip, shaking his head slowly.
-”Total loss. Permanent.”- Wakatoshi's brows lifted a fraction in a rare show of emotion, his whole face softening.
-”I'm sorry, that must be hard.”- Satori didn't have to try to come up with a response. In his peripherals he saw Eita looking at Ohira and he just about picked up on his words.
“What's going on? Am I missing something?” Ohira appeared thoughtful, glancing between Satori and Eita who'd spoke and a look of obvious realization flickered in his wide eyes.
“Um... forgive me if I'm wrong but.. Tendou are you deaf?” Silence. Satori involuntarily shrunk away from the mutual looks of shock shared amidst his fellow first years, waiting for an answer. Satori wanted nothing more than to melt into the mattress, busying himself by shifting around his textbooks.
“Yeah. Banged my head pretty bad in a car crash when I was nine and broke the little bones in both ears. Can't hear a thing at all. It's fine, I'm used to it. Just forget about it okay? Are we going out for food or are we gonna quit for tonight?” He tried to press on, pulling the notes he'd been working on and trying to focus. He spent a few seconds trying to find where he was up to when he noticed Wakatoshi signing again but looking off to his side. His hand movements gained speed and became almost frantic, talking to someone else and forming disjoint sentences while his brows furrowed into a frown. Satori gave up trying to understand, looking around at the room and found the rest of his team appearing to be yelling all at once.
”Tell him I said why didn't he say anything! What the hell?”
“Wait is that why he never responds to anything if he isn't looking?”
“Tell him I said-”
“Tell him-”
Satori shuddered, unable to keep up and feeling like he wasn't even there. None of them were talking to him, all of them possibly yelling at Wakatoshi who was clearly growing frustrated trying to sign what they were saying. This is exactly what he'd dreaded. Now they knew, things already felt different. Wakatoshi stopped trying to sign, expression becoming something akin to anger in the range of Wakatoshi's expressions while he talked back at the flurry of the rest of the team and Satori couldn't follow. They might as well have been speaking another language for all he could tell. He jumped to his knees, gathering up his books and clumsily climbed over Yamagata, temper rising.
“I'm not a fucking invalid. I can lip-read fine and know what your saying fine and fucking dandy. I didn't tell anyone because no one needs to know. And they don't. This is exactly what I didn't want,” he snapped as he shuffled past Wakatoshi, flinging the door open with more force than necessary. Angry tears clouding his vision and making him not turn around. “Just forget it okay? It's my business. And don't start treating me like I can't do shit on my own.” He slammed the door behind him just as the first warm trickle trailed down his cheeks and he stormed off to Ohira and Wakatoshi's room, hoping no one followed him.
The remaining first years watched as Satori stormed out, yelling at them as he slammed the door behind him. All too shocked at the outburst to do something. The room remained silent long after the door slammed shut behind the red head, shocked into silence. As soon as he'd processed, Eita fumbled to get to his feet, temper rising.
“I know he's an idiot but I didn't know he was that stupid! What the hell?” Eita was fuming. His supposed good friend had been keeping something this big from him all this time and he had the nerve to get angry? Oh no. Eita wasn't having it. Just before he cleared the beds, a hand caught his arm and stopped him from storming out.
“Semi, this isn't a good time,” Ohira warned, still looking like he hadn't quite processed the information himself. Eita bristled, pulling his arm out of the wing spikers grip.
“No this is some stupid BS, Ushijima-san can you come with me so you can translate for me? I swear I'm-”
“I think this is why he's upset over it.” The words made him halt, staring back at Ohira who regarded him with a weary expression. He didn't make a move, caught off guard. “He said it himself, he doesn't want to be treated like he can't get by on his own and he’s managed to hide it for nearly a whole year so he clearly can. None of us even realized until he admitted it right?” Eita thought that over, brows furrowing and he agitatedly dropped himself back on his bed.
“Fuck.” He cursed, threading his fingers through his hair, caught between being angry at Satori for being an idiot but mostly being angry with himself for not noticing sooner. He turned to Wakatoshi who was still staring at the closed door behind him.
“How did you know Ushijima-san? Did he tell you?” Wakatoshi turned towards him, something that might have been a frown altering his usually unreadable expression.
“No, my grandmother didn't want my mother knowing she was losing her hearing and she was doing the same things Tendou does like not responding if he isn't looking at someone talking to him or looking at people's lips when they talk. I realized at the beginning of the school year.” Eita's anger spiked again, for the first time he ever recalled at Wakatoshi.
“And you didn't think to tell us? That's... What the hell Ushijima?” the first year’s frown deepened and it wasn't hard to tell he was angry. His tone raised just a few decibels higher.
“My grandmother didn't tell us because she was embarrassed and didn't want us to treat her like she wasn't capable of looking after herself. There were a lot of arguments before she agreed to learn JSL, and I assumed that Tendou felt the same since he doesn't talk about it.” All the anger that had built in Eita died. His brain worked to find a point to shoot down the statement in his irrational irritation but it melted to nothing and shame twisted in his gut.
“You're right, sorry." the he cringed, thinking back to a night at the beginning of the year. "We've been watching anime together and the first time we did he had the sound turned off and the subtitles on and I switched them off because I thought they were annoying and called him weird. He hasn't said anything about it and we still talked about it. How do you spend a whole year rooming with someone and not realize?” He rambled more to himself than anything, feeling more and more guilty the more he thought about it. Little things he should have picked up on but didn't and just pegged them as Satori being an oddball, cringing at the amount of the times he'd made fun of him for it. Yamagata made an exasperated sound, rubbing his face with his palm.
“Shit. I've been calling him a dick as a joke all this time when I thought he was just ignoring people. And the whole not having music on his phone thing. And we watched all the FMA episodes without subtitles so he must have gone and watched them with them so we could talk about it. Crept up on him a few times to scare him thinking he was just jumpy for all the pranks he's pulled on me too. I feel like such an asshole.” Reon hummed from Eita's side.
“I walked in on him having a JSL conversation with someone and he tried to hide it. Thought he was lying about it 'just being cool' but I didn't think about it at the time.” He admitted, grimacing at the opposite wall.
“What do we do now? Since we've all collectively been jerks to him without realizing? Except for Ushijima of course,” Eita said, feeling a little hopeless. No one had an answer, all averting their eyes except for Wakatoshi who appeared thoughtful.
“He wants us to act normal. Besides Semi and Hayato apologizing, you shouldn't do anything.” The group's focus lands on Wakatoshi. Eita wonders why him and the libero were the only two but he realized Ushijima and Reon hadn't done anything insensitive and he grumbled, getting to his feet and nudging Hayato to follow him out of the room.
Reon’s and Ushijima's room was surprisingly unlocked when they reached it and they quietly let themselves in. Tendou had curled up under Ushijima's covers, books left abandoned in a pile at the bottom of the bed. He may have thought he was asleep if it weren't for the sound of sniffling that made Eita feel like an even bigger idiot than he had before. He went to call his roommates name and cleared his throat, realizing it was pointless. Sharing an uncomfortable glance with Hayato, the two slipped into the room and sat on Reon's bed and Eita reached out and gently nudged the redhead's shoulder.
Satori's reaction was instant. His shoulders hunched and his head shot around, evidence that he'd been upset clearly on his face. He awkwardly scrambled into a sitting position, wiping at his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie and leaning against the wall, knees up to his chin and arms folded around them.
“What do you want?” He grumbled defensively, looking between the pair sat opposite with heat cascading across his cheekbones. Eita squirmed, wishing he'd given it some time before he'd followed. He chewed his lip, still struggling to believe that his friend and roommate couldn't actually hear a thing.
“Look, we're sorry okay? We've been assholes,” he said, figuring it best to get the awkward part out of the way. He noted how Satori didn't hold eye contact, instead his eyes trained on Eita's lips while he talked. It wasn't the first time he'd noticed it and it had made him uncomfortable at first but now he had more insight, he realized Satori only did it when he was tired or unfocused and it made sense.
“Yeah, sorry Satori. If I'd known I wouldn't have snuck up on you all this time. We good?” Eita watched with a mild fascination as Satori looked between the two of them, a crease forming between his tiny brows. He wondered if he'd understood what they had said and mentally kicked himself for thinking it. The only difference between now and a few hours ago when the team had been casually chatting amidst themselves during lunch, Tendou included, was that he'd been oblivious. Slowly, Satori relaxed out of his fetal position, crossing his legs over the duvet but his expression was still guarded.
“Look, you should have said something okay? It would have made all our lives easier and we're supposed to be friends.” Satori visibly bristled at that but Eita continued before he could speak. “But I get why you kept it a secret so don't worry about it. Can we just forget this?” Tendou thought this over for a few moments, eyes still flickering between the two of them and slowly, his shoulders relaxed. Still guarded but definitely more open.
“'Kay. We're good. Just, don't start treating me like an invalid or something. Please?” His tone was as pleading as the kicked puppy look he gave them. Eita chuckled, maybe just a little endeared.
“Promise.” A tiny but grateful smile broke over the redhead's face and his wide eyes brightened a little.
“Thanks. Can we kick everyone out? I need to sleep off this damn cold.” Eita smiled sympathetically and started gathering up Satori’s books.
“Sure.”
Days after the rest of the first years found out about Satori's hearing impediment, things went on more or less as usual. It was like nothing had happened. Satori was on edge, waiting for something to pop the happy little bubble he'd built for himself over the course of the school year, but true to their words, nothing changed. They didn't all suddenly start speaking condescendingly slowly or exaggerating everything they said, nor did they get frustrated when he struggled to focus and asked Wakatoshi to sign what they were trying to say to him if he missed a few words. It was.... as if nothing had changed.
Well. Not entirely. Small things did in fact change, but not in a bad way. When he and Eita found some time to wind down, they watched anime with subtitles. Hayato stopped poking friendly fun at him when he didn't hear his name being called and made a point to wave or tap on his shoulder to get his attention and the jump scares stopped completely. Most of them. Reon and Ushijima had always been the extra polite kind who made a point of facing people they where talking but Hayato and Semi started doing the same. They were small but Satori had a constant nagging feeling that at any minute that something would change and he'd start becoming the hindrance he'd been pegged as in middle school. His new found friends however, completely trampled the expectations he'd come to expect from experience.
Other things changed that he slowly started noticing. They no longer turned away when they were talking to him, leading him to miss half of what they were saying. They made sure he had a full view of them when they started talking and in any classes they shared where they sat together, whoever was sitting next to him would make their notes more visible while the teacher was facing away and signaled to let him know the teacher was facing again. During the few practices they had, one of the first years always made sure they were in a position to catch his attention so he didn't miss anything going on behind him.
All tiny little things. Tiny little changes that didn't cause a fuss or feel condescending and those around didn't act like it was any effort at all, but made his life so much easier and it moved him to near tears. Small changes aside, their attitude towards him didn't change one bit.
The end of the school year came around and he and the rest of the team said their goodbyes for the summer, breathing a sigh of sweet freedom and relief after the last few weeks of non-stop sleep deprived studying. They made plans to meet up during summer and said their goodbyes, greeting their families and being whisked away home with all their belongings. Satori spent the entire trip home talking about his friends and how this had been the best school year he'd ever had.
+1
Summer disappeared in the blink of an eye and for the first time in his entire life, Satori looked forward to returning to school. True to their promises, the rest of the first and even some of the second years had met up and gone to festivals and other events together over the holidays. Satori lived relatively close to Wakatoshi and he'd made a number of visits. He even enjoyed conversing with Wakatoshi's grandmother, and sharing a few tricks on how he gotten by without help as her hearing deteriorated with age.
Upon returning to school, he was delighted to find that he'd be sharing a room with Eita again, and Ushijima would be sharing with Reon again in the next room. Hayato ended up being roomed with another student, but like before, he was only a few doors down on the same corridor. The new batch of first year students brought along Taichi and Kenjirou, two quiet but skilled players who applied for the team. Satori found he and Taichi clicked pretty well, and while Kenjirou didn't seem to have much patience for his antics, he didn't go out of the way to avoid him and he joined in with the team's casual chatter during down time. He asked the rest of the team to keep his lack of hearing a secret for a little while and they did so without questioning. He'd prefer to let them see they didn't need to act differently before he told the new first years.
A few weeks into the semester, the post summer landslide of homework led to a number of late nights studying and Satori's concentration was suffering. Morning practice was brutal and he struggled to keep up with everything going on around and that was before even getting to class. Come lunch time surrounded by the other second years, his grand total of two hours sleep, paired with the usual brutal training and conditioning, had him ready to fall asleep. The team didn't seem as bothered by it, chatting between themselves as usual, but Eita had to wave to grab his attention on two occasions and he'd just missed whatever Ohira was saying for the third time.
“Sorry Ohira, I didn't catch any of that. I'm really not with it today. Just talk amongst yourselves, I'm not keeping up today,” he grumbled apologetically, picking at his lunch with an exasperated sigh. He enjoyed the lunch time chatter, a nice change of pace and a break from classes but he'd have to give it a miss today if he was ever going to make it through the rest of the day.
Now, more focused on his lunch, he didn't notice the smug exchange between the rest of the table’s occupants. Ohira laid down his chopsticks carefully, a motion Satori barely noticed and then he wondered if he'd fallen asleep at some point in the past few seconds because Ohira started signing.
-”I said did you get your homework finished last night? We'll probably get some more later.”- Satori blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes to make sure the lack of sleep over the last few nights weren't making him hallucinate. Reon was still there, and the scene didn't change. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Eita start moving his hands too.
-”He stayed up later than I did. Took ages to drag him out of bed to make it to practice this morning. Going to have to resort to drastic measures sometime soon.”-
-”Call me over if you want. Or we can trade? My roommate is a stiff and he doesn't appreciate my pranks or jokes. What did I ever do to deserve rooming with a class rep?”- Hayato continued with a mournful expression. Satori watched in amazement as the conversation continued. Semi was signing again, looking at him with a sincere smile.
-”We might have got together over summer and started learning casual JSL. It will probably look good on college applications as well as give you a bit of a break.”- He signed. Satori flushed, shuffling at the attention the whole team had turned to him, all looking proud of themselves. Satori was once again blown away by how amazing his friends were and the wiry smile he couldn't contain crinkled the corner of his eyes.
“You guys.... Learned this for me?” he said, voice probably a little pitchy. Hayato and Ohira nodded, beaming while Eita reached over and clapped Satori on the back before signing again.
-”Don't worry about it. Better to have you with us than missing stuff on your off days. It will be good when we're looking for fuck in the future.”- Satori had been moved, almost on the verge at tears at the incredibly heart-warming gesture his friends had made. That is, until Eita made that tiny gesture, just one finger held straight instead of bent that completely changed the meaning of the sign. His head tilted back with a cackle. Eita's proud expression changed to confusion as Satori laughed, hands forming the sign for 'What' repeatedly.
“You just said it will be useful when looking for fuck.” He brought his hands up and re-enacted Eita's hand sign. “Fuck.” He repeated the motion again but curled his pinky. “Work.” A dust of pink formed across Eita's cheeks as Hayato and Ohira chortled.
”Hey, I've been learning for all of two months, give me a break,” he complained, talking instead of signing and going back to his lunch. Satori rested one hand over the other and rested his cheek on the top one, curling his pinky and ring finger of the underhand and grinning mischievously.
“No, you're doing good! It means a lot. Any hay you can thank me if it gets you fuck too!” he said, delighting in the way Hayato choked on his mouthful of food, covering his mouth to hide laughter as he stared at Satori's hands. Eita noticed it, frowning as he stared at the laughing libero.
“What?” Hayato shared a knowing glance and mimicked Satori's actions. Because of course one of the first things Hayato probably looked up when learning JSL was how to swear. Eita glanced between the two, probably noticing their matching signs while Ohira bit his lip in an effort not to laugh, probably not knowing what they were signing but certainly knowing it meant something.
“Okay what does that mean?” Eita bit out, irked. Satori readjusted his hands so the index finger of one hand pointed at the curl of his other fisted hand.
“What? I don't know what you mean Semisemi,” He teased, barely holding back a snicker as Hayato mimicked him again. Wakatoshi nudged him from his side, making him look up and finding the slightest clench in his jaw, a sign only Satori knew to be him holding back a smile.
“He's called you a 'dumbass' and an 'asshole' I believe,” Satori read Wakatoshi's lips from the side, jaw hanging and eyes wide at the hilarious betrayal. The table dissolving into laughter as Eita gave up on signing and exasperatedly called them any and every insult he could come up with before his act crumbled and he laughed along with them. Maybe Satori should try not to tease him too much in future. All of them in fact. He'd had seven years to learn how people saw his hearing loss before they saw him as a person when they knew and his high school friends had completely smashed his expectations to pieces, shown he could just be accepted and get by without draining them and being treated like a burden. A warmth bubbled up in his chest that reached his eyes as the rest of the second years around him fell back into normal conversation, signing like it was no effort at all to learn a whole new kind of language just so he could be included.
"Thank you. Really. You guys are the best."