Work Text:
A fan of dubious repute
Has just gone down the garbage chute.
(And since the fatal bit of waste
Was more-than-usually debased,
It’s not just her who’s bound for hell:
She’s dragged her followers down as well.)
Down goes the fangirl! to the trash!
And though she should turn back abashed,
She’s plied with gifts on her descent
Through torture, sex, and nonconsent.
But not gifts she’s accustomed to—
These won’t be quite so fresh and new.
A chicken thigh, for instance, chewed
By rats till it's no longer food.
'Oh my! How thoughtful! What a find!
How can I thank you! You’re too kind!’
And then a little further down
A mass of others can be found:
Two fingers' worth of milk gone noxious,
A throne of empty fruit-pie boxes,
A smack syringe, a rusty spoon,
A stew left in the fridge last June,
A lambskin condom used and torn,
Two baby shoes as-yet unworn,
A pizza crust, a month-old prawn,
A shirt a tomcat pissed upon,
And lots of other things as well,
Each with a rather horrid smell.
These are our fangirl’s dumpster gifts
That she’ll receive while she’s adrift
And may her sad trash hobo haul
Serve as a warning to us all.
But now, my dears, we think you might
Be wondering—is it really right
That every single bit of blame
And all the scolding and the shame
Should fall upon our dumpster kitten
For things that someone else has written?
For though she’s rotten, dreadfully so,
Trash heaps don’t fill themselves, you know.
Who ruined her, then? Who turned her on
With mag-clamp cuffs and stun batons?
Who gave her slaps and mindwipe chairs
And Hydra goons with lecherous stares?
Alas! You’ll have to look up high
To find out where these sinners lie.
The crooks (and this is sad to know)
Are good old ANTHONY and JOE.
And so we’re glad that they created
A film made to be desecrated.