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2014-10-17
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1/1
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It's Confidential, Kid

Summary:

Bill forces Dipper into the bath, as usual. Then, the grumpy human starts an argument that ends in embarrassing himself and spilling a secret about his relationship with Bill to his sister! Oops!

Notes:

alright, so this is pretty much entirely sfw. there's only kisses and bill kinda makes some silly noises when dipper pulls his hair at one point but THAT'S ALL. yeah, they're in a bath but i haven't described anything naughty. don't sweat, friendo.
bill is non-binary and in their human form, which is based upon this design! http://pandipper.tumblr.com/post/98372385674
aaaand dipper is a little older which is based on this design! http://pandipper.tumblr.com/post/99300197929 but i did chuck in his lip scar and kinda forgot about his facial hair, which was meant to start growing a lil.... sorry zndria lmao.

also for the love of all things holy, if you see that i've used male pronouns for bill anywhere, PLEASE TELL ME.
anyway, enjoy!!!!

Work Text:

“Your hips are poking into me…” Dipper complained, squirming uncomfortably between the long, tan legs of the demon behind him. Water sloshed against the sides of the bath, spilling bubbles and steaming liquid onto the tiles.

Bill hissed, the noise echoing throughout the bathroom, “Stop moving; you’re going to cause a flood again.” Their spider-like fingers entwined in the shorter boy’s wet hair, beginning to massage and work a dollop of shampoo into lather. Dipper groaned, leaning back against Bill’s stomach and chest, once again attempting to ignore the sharp jutting of the demon’s bones into his back.

A noise of disagreement was elicited from Bill for a second time. With Dipper suddenly so close, they could barely massage the shampoo into those brunette locks – and it had been way too long since the kid last washed his hair. The demon scowled, tugging lightly on the curls of which were saturated and now decorated with shampoo bubbles.

“Sit back up, Pine Tree. You’re making it difficult to get the filth out of your hair.” Dipper didn’t bother to reply. He instead changed the subject, sighing and leaning further into the thin, human version of Bill’s body.

“This happens every time. You show up, you wrestle me into a bunch of bubbles, you clean my hair, we have some sort of loud argument and then you disappear into thin air whenever Mabel knocks on the door to ask me why I’m screaming at myself.” His hands moved up to smack Bill’s away from his hair, a scorching glare locked on the wall opposite him.

The dream demon grumbled, “Is this the beginning of our regular argument, then?”

“That’s up to you.” Dipper snapped, sitting forward once again. His movements were – as usual – much too fast, causing more water to escape over the lip of the bath. It splattered on the ground, drenching their discarded clothes. Bill narrowed their visible eye, glancing between their wet clothes and the brunette before them, who was spinning on the spot in order to face the demon.

“Me?” Bill sighed, leaning back as far as they could, their single eye still narrowed as they finally settled on staring solely at Dipper. The warm water crept up their bare chest as they slid further down.

There wasn’t much room in this bath anymore. Dipper was practically growing an inch a day. Even now, with Bill’s legs pressing against either side of the bath, Dipper couldn’t move far enough away to break all contact. The human’s legs were crossed, his knees digging into Bill’s thighs. The position looked uncomfortable. It sure as hell felt uncomfortable for the demon.

With a nod, the young man crossed his arms, ignoring any bubbles clinging to his skin. He clearly didn’t look nearly as intimidating as he’d hoped. “I want to talk about this weekend.”

“Your birthday?” Bill asked, tilting their head ever so slightly to the side. Their golden hair was dripping at the nape of their neck, but they refused to get any more strands anywhere near the water. Being wet was an inconvenience and they simply didn’t enjoy it. Alas, they decided some sacrifices must be made if they didn’t want to suffer through sitting beside a very smelly Dipper after a week of the young man avoiding soap and water.

“Yes. I’m turning seventeen, Bill. I think it’d be a good idea to, at the very least, tell Mabel about… us.” The brunette frowned, beginning to chew on his scarred bottom lip.

Bill tried their very best to remain calm. These conversations constantly worried them, stressed them out, angered them, scared them. Since they’d acquired a human body and began to spend more and more time around Dipper – whom at first ignored them, despite how intrigued he was with the new form the demon could take – they had begun the long, exhausting task of learning how to operate within society as a regular person, with the help of Dipper Pines. Certain things confused them, but they definitely understood a lot more than Dipper gave them credit for.

One of those things was how disgusting nearly everybody would view a relationship between a sixteen year old human and an older-than-humanity dream demon would be. Though, the human’s family would undoubtedly be more inclined to judge so harshly.

Yes, it was definitely odd. Bill knew that. Dipper knew that. That didn’t stop the feelings they developed for each other over the time they spent together – solving mysteries, cracking codes, getting into trouble, fighting their way out of that trouble, playing around with possession, exploring the quirks of the human body, etcetera, etcetera. Once the two had stopped fighting over the journals and Dipper had made a deal to stay out of Bill’s way when it came to “some business” they had to do in Gravity Falls, the pair had begun to get along much better.

Now, when Mabel crept out of her downstairs room and caught the two in the attic, sitting cross-legged on Dipper’s bed, surrounded by pictures of monsters and thousands of pages of Bill’s advanced knowledge on whatever they were hunting down this week, she simply smiled and waved. Bill was a near constant fixture in the Mystery Shack nowadays. There was no need to freak out whenever they appeared out of nowhere. Even Grunkle Stan had more or less gotten used to having the demon around – although he still refused to acknowledge anything supernatural about the town or the strange, cackling creep who occasionally floated up the stairs of the Mystery Shack and through Dipper’s door.

The dream demon hummed quietly, already beginning to shake their head. That slight movement had Dipper straightening his spine, an almost visible fire striking up behind his blue eyes. He’d said it would be up to Bill to shift this conversation into an argument, but already the demon could see that was not the case. If Dipper didn’t get his way, there was going to be a screaming match.

“Don’t start, kid. Just because you’re turning seventeen, doesn’t mean your great uncle won’t lose his mind.” Bill glanced away, wet hands reaching up to adjust the triangular eye patch they were still wearing. The water was too warm – they was sweating and the material felt seriously horrid on their skin.

Dipper’s voice was closer to a whine than anything that could portray the fury behind his eyes, “I’m practically an adult now! I think I should be able to decide whether or not I get to date a supernatural being.”

Bill scoffed, hands sinking back into the water after they gave up on fixing their eye patch. “Is that what you’re going to tell your family when they disown you, Pine Tree? You sound ridiculous. I can tell you right now that it won’t go down well. Infinite knowledge, remember?”

“Infinite? You didn’t even know what a toaster was before I showed you!”

“That’s beside the point.”

“How?” Dipper sounded desperate, his voice beginning to raise in volume now. “Ugh – y-you know what? Don’t bother answering that! We’re getting off track.” He inched closer, his scarred hands dripping as he raised them to cup both of Bill’s cheeks. Turning the demon’s face until they were looking at each other, Dipper put on his best pleading face. Surprisingly, Bill was pretty easily affected by puppy dog eyes.

“Bill…” The young man started, before he watched the demon quickly shut their one eye and scowl. The feeling of water on their face was gross. The begging from their boyfriend was even worse.

“Pine Tree - don’t. Telling your family is a bad idea and you know it as well as I do.” Before they had even finished their sentence, Dipper was pressing quick kisses all over Bill’s face. The demon growled in response, although they could definitely feel their resolve crumbling. Dipper obviously could too.

“They would get over it…” Dipper hummed against Bill’s cheek, giving it another gentle smooch before inching towards the demon’s lips. “They probably wouldn’t even mind at all. Weirder things have happened.”

Bill snorted, “Hello, human family of mine! You’ll never guess what! I’m dating a demon that I met when I was twelve years old. I simply couldn’t resist their charms – all those screaming heads they magically wished into existence really won me over!” Their attempt at sounding like Dipper was weak and made the brunette scowl before he gave the demon’s bottom lip a quick but harsh nip in an attempt to shut them up. It sort of worked – Bill stopped talking and instead released a shaky purr of approval. The whole pain deal that came with the human body still excited them. Exploring pain was fun.

“The screaming heads sucked.”

“You suck.” Playful human bickering was fun, too.

“You wish.” The young man retorted almost immediately. Bill grinned, opening their eye again as Dipper inched backward a little. Their tan hands quickly flew up to grab onto their boyfriends bare hips, fingers running over the deep scar where once upon a time, the supernatural being had carved their own summoning circle onto the weak flesh of Dipper's side. It would be there for life - which was just what Bill wanted.

“I do wish.” They teased, leaning forward to plant a kiss on their boyfriend’s soft neck. Despite Dipper’s quiet protests, Bill began to suck at that skin; their hands running down the brunette’s pale body, scratching at the scars he’d acquired from several summers of screwing around in the dangerous town of Gravity Falls. Angry and raised pink lines were left over the already marred skin.

Dipper shuddered as Bill pulled away, his neck aching from where the demon had just chomped down on the same spot they’d been sucking for quite some time now. Undoubtedly, his neck would have a huge, bright red spot, which would soon turn a dark purple. Looks like his vest collar was going to be popped for the next few days. He wished he’d never explained to Bill how to give such great hickies.

“You don’t want anyone to know, yet you make it so obvious.” The brunette gestured to his neck with a roll of his eyes.

“Borrow Mabel’s makeup, if you’re so worried.” The mere thought looked as if it had horrified Dipper. It was Bill’s turn to roll their eye, now. Gender and the like would never make sense to the demon. “You’re such a chil—“

“Dipper?” A familiar voice called through the bathroom door, right before two quick knocks sounded. “You’ve been in there for nearly an hour, bro! I need a shower!” Mabel called, sounding more than a little frustrated with her twin.

Immediately, the brunette clamped a hand down on Bill’s head, his fingers fisting in the golden locks and tugging hard. That pesky demon wasn’t disappearing, like they had so many times before. They were finishing what they’d started – Dipper still had shampoo in his damn hair and was definitely not up for washing it out himself, yet again.

“Yeah, I’m ju—!” His voice was cut off but a low moan erupting from the tan body before him. Oh god damnit, Bill. Now was totally not the time to be getting carried away by a little hair pulling. Dipper’s digits uncurled and he quickly slapped his hands over the demon’s mouth, panic washing through him.

Mabel cleared her throat, “Uh… Dipper?”

“S-Sorry! I’m, uh… Just…” Oh god, oh god. This was beyond embarrassing now – how was he meant to explain something like that. “Bill…” The young man huffed, glaring at the demon, who was now blinking down at him, an apology clear in their one visible eye.

“Bill?” Mabel gasped, before abruptly dissolving into giggles. “Dipper! Dipper… Are you… masturbating? Dipper! Did you just say Bill’s name?!”

With a burning face, the brunette yanked his hands off of Bill’s mouth in favour of waving them in the air wildly, as if his sister could see him. “N-No! No, Mabel! I didn’t and I’m not!” He yelped, continuing to ramble on about how ridiculous she was being and that he hadn’t made any noise at all, let alone said a name.

“Oh my god!” The teenage girl squealed before bursting into laughter loud enough to block out any more of Dipper’s denial. “You totally have a crush on Bill! Oh man, this is—oh god, crazy!” Her voice was fading away, although both Dipper and Bill could still hear her exclaiming her discoveries as she marched through the house, giggling to herself much louder than necessary.

Dipper finally gave up on trying to call out to his twin, his wide shoulders slumping in defeat. Bill kept their mouth shut, trying their very hardest not to burst into laughter or say something that would send their boyfriend into any sort of fit.

Eventually, the silence became too much and the demon whispered, “Well… I guess you more or less got your wish.” Dipper didn’t glare and swear and grumble, as Bill expected him to. Instead, he sighed and nodded his head. Slowly, he spun back around and sat with his back to the supernatural being, silently indicating that his hair still had to be tended to. Bill didn’t argue and simply picked up the plastic cup they usually used to wash shampoo out of those brunette locks.

“I wish that had gone… differently… better… I don’t know.” The young man grumbled, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as Bill poured the now lukewarm water onto his head.

The demon chuckled, “What’s done is done, Pine Tree.” They continued with their ministrations, washing as much of the product out of Dipper’s hair before finally placing the cup down and leaning forward to rest their chin on the young man’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine, I’m sure. Infinite knowledge.” Their arms snaked around Dipper’s stomach to embrace the human.

“Infinite knowledge, hm?” The teenager repeated in a mumble, turning his head to the side slightly as he leaned back against the thin frame of the demon behind him. Pecking Bill’s cheek, he whispered, “I’ll hold you to that, then.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, mortal.” The dream demon flashed their trademark creepy grin before capturing Dipper’s lips for half a second. “Anyway; I’m off!”

With that, Bill’s arms unravelled from around the young man’s waist and the solid wall of flesh that Dipper had felt behind him disappeared suddenly. With a yelp and arms wildly flailing, the brunette’s body fell backward, his head smacking against the end of the bathtub as water splashed all over the place.

Jerking himself into an upright position, Dipper spat out any water that had worked its way into his mouth and glanced up at the ceiling, hands wiping desperately at his face to clear the liquid and bubbles.

“Ugh!” The brunette snapped, furiously, “You like pain, Bill?! Huh?! I’ll give you something to smile about, you—… you… stupid floating dorito! I’ll kick your ass!”

Echoing laughter danced throughout the young man’s mind before suddenly, the all too familiar voice of Bill Cipher said, “If there was a fight between you and Waddles, I’d bet on the pig. Sweet dreams tonight, my little Pine Tree. I'll make sure of it.”