Chapter Text
It was raining heavily this morning.
Marisol pulled into the school parking lot in a stormy mood, which was not helped at all by the poor weather. She didn’t even want to show up to school if it meant looking at Eli for a few periods.
Even though it felt good to read that poem out loud in class and destroy Eli’s reputation before his stupid play, she still had to deal with the fact that she was played by another guy again. It was beyond humiliating.
Two nauseating couples were being all lovey dovey in front of her. There was Owen and Anya, who were laughing about something. That something was likely her. Then there was Clare and Jake, who were kissing affectionately underneath Clare’s umbrella. It was disgusting.
She almost hated Clare as much as she did Eli right now.
What was it about this boring, Puritan child that made Eli break her heart into pieces for? There was nothing interesting about Clare Edwards other than her sister being the Power Squad captain during her freshman year. And Darcy Edwards was intense. Marisol didn’t think she would ever forget how scandalous the girl was along with Manny Santos. They made freshman year for her memorable and not always in a good way. But at least Darcy had something interesting about her. Her little sister did not. All Clare did was walk around and act all pompous and innocent like she was better than everybody, with a horrible taste in fashion at that. Both of her Jamaican grandmothers could dress sexier than Clare Edwards. The girl was so whiny and overdramatic too, even more than her. What was Eli seeing in Clare that she didn’t?
Eli crashed his hearse into a wall and nearly died for a girl that rebounded with another guy immediately after. She helped him with the play, helped him loosen up by taking him to fun events, listened to him rant for hours about whatever he wanted to talk about, got him special discounts at Little Miss Steaks, let him stay over her house after the incident with the bikers, gave him head, and even agreed to give him space until he was for a relationship. She confessed her love for him and yet he threw it all away for a little bitch that didn’t give two shits about renewing their relationship no matter how badly he deluded himself into thinking it would happen.
Marisol was fuming when she stepped out of her car. With a loud slam of her door, she stormed into the school.
Marisol really ruined his life.
Eli could feel the scorn of everybody as he told everyone the script changes for the play, that Ari and Clara would get back together and live happily ever after. Pretty much every girl was looking at him as some sort of monster because of Marisol’s poem. Chantay was glaring at him like she wanted to slit his throat and even Fiona was cold to him this morning. It was crazy how he went from being seen as the school hero to the school scumbag within such a short time period. High school kids were very fickle but at this point maybe he deserved it.
He was angry at Marisol for ruining his reputation but a small part of him knew he shouldn’t have hurt her feelings the way he did. He should have stopped whatever they had going on before it went too far because now their friendship was destroyed. He wasn’t sure if it was ever going to be repaired. Was he fine with that if it meant getting Clare back? He tried to think so.
“Are you okay, Eli?” Imogen asked him in concern after he just got done arguing with Fiona about the changes. Him rewriting the script at the last minute sounded crazy but he knew it was going to pay off. He knew it.
“Never better,” he remarked cheerfully.
“I think making Jack the villain was a brilliant idea, Eli. You have a mark for good storytelling. I don’t know why people keep doubting you,” she praised.
Imogen was the only girl he knew didn’t hate him right now. She was his own personal fangirl, or his own little Harley Quinn. He needed that right now. With the whole world being against him, he was glad at least someone had faith in him even if it came off as a little creepy sometimes.
“Because they don’t see the vision, but you do,” he replied warmly, earning him a big smile from Imogen. Her smile was adorable but it didn’t hold a candle to….no he won’t think about that.
“Of course, Eli. I’ve had your back since the very beginning, before you even knew who I was. I always cared about you and your potential,” Imogen told him.
That was super creepy, but he was going to ignore that for now.
Right now, his main priority was destroying Jake Martin.
She had to admit part of this was her fault for not paying attention.
Marisol had her earphones plugged in her eyes, listening to Beyoncé, when she suddenly crashed into somebody. She let out an embarrassed yelp as her iPod fell to the ground with a loud thud. Shit.
She looked up and saw that it was Jake Martin she bumped into. He looked pissed at first but when he saw that it was her, his features softened. He kneeled down and picked up her iPod for her. “Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly as he got back up and handed her her device.
As he stood up to his height in front of her, Marisol was a little shaken by how tall he was. She didn’t know whether it was because she was so short but she felt like one of those little hobbit creatures next to him.
It was kinda hot. She understood his appeal to Clare.
“It’s fine,” she murmured as she looked at her iPod. There was not a single crack in her screen. Thank God for that.
“That Eli guy is a nutjob,” Jake said with a frown.
“More like a complete asshole,” Marisol replied while folding her arms.
“No, he’s actually crazy. He fucking fired me from the play after I confronted him about making me the new villain. He’s demented and is only using the play to drive me and Clare apart. He somehow thinks she’s going to magically take him back after this,” he ranted to her.
“Well you’re not the only victim of Eli Goldsworthy. He fired me too after my ‘services were no longer needed’,” she told him with a snort. Emo Boy was just digging himself deeper, wasn’t he? This play was shaping up to be a total flop of his own doing. Wonderful.
“What he did to you was awful. I’m sorry,” he told her sympathetically.
“I’m over it. I just hope Love Roulette flops,” she replied with a shrug as she walked past him.
No, she wasn’t actually over it. No one needed to know that though.
“You know you have two new nicknames passing around the school, right?” Adam told him as they ate lunch together. They were both eating sandwiches that Adam’s mother personally made for them.
“What are they now?” Eli asked wearily while taking a big bite of his ham and cheese sandwich.
“Eli Manning and Craig Goldsworthy,” Adam answered with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“Are you serious? They’re comparing me to Craig Manning, the singer?” Eli replied, irritated. What was it with him that people kept comparing him to the singer?
“Well it’s not like you don’t have a reputation as a major player right now, and that’s what this Craig guy apparently was at Degrassi. Did you really hook up with Marisol last weekend?” Adam asked while raising his eyebrow.
“It was a spur of the moment thing. A mistake,” Eli clarified.
“She didn’t seem to think it was,” his friend pointed out.
“Well obviously she’s wrong and it’s her fault for getting the wrong idea. She knew from the beginning that my heart belongs with Clare,” he replied, getting defensive.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have hooked up with her then? Because now every girl at school wants to kill you, and speaking of Clare, can you please stop trying to ruin her relationship with Jake because I have to hear about it when she sees me. It’s beginning to get annoying, Eli,” Adam begged. Eli let out a tired sigh.
“Adam, dear friend, it would all be worth it when Clare’s with me again. This is only a temporary problem in the grand scheme of things,” he replied.
“Well I’m frankly tired of being torn between the two of you so please get it together,” Adam said with narrowed eyes, “It’s getting weird.”
“Don’t worry about it, Adam. Just be patient and before you know it, the Misfits will be back in action,” Eli said as he took another bite of his sandwich.
People needed to stop doubting him when he was a master schemer.
“Maybe I should pursue K.C. I heard he’s single these days,” Marisol suggested bitterly.
“I think you need to take a break from guys, Mare. Like a real break so you can focus on yourself,” Katie replied critically.
“He’s tall, he’s cute, and we had a pretty chill friendship at work. He’s a fun guy,” Marisol pointed out as she sipped on her strawberry milkshake. After school, she decided to take herself and her friend The Dot for some much needed comfort food.
“He also cheated on his girlfriend with some floozy even though they have a baby together. Do you really want that kind of guy as your boyfriend?” Katie questioned.
“Well, I think we can both move on. Besides, nothing helps getting over an asshole guy by moving on to the next one,” she argued.
“No, I think you should stay away from guys before they hurt you again. Marisol, you really need to be to cope with what happened first. You were almost raped-“
“I know that! You don’t need to remind me, Katie,” Marisol loudly cut her off, capturing the attention of everyone sitting around them, “I just want to have fun at this point. Can I have that, Katie? Or are you going to keep judging me for my choices like you’ve been doing this whole semester?” She asked with a scowl.
Her best friend deeply frowned. “Mare, I’m just trying to give you advice,” she replied.
“Well I don’t want your advice right now!” Marisol yelled in frustration. Just then, Virgin Edwards walked in. When Clare saw her, she blanched. Marisol would normally take pride in that, but right now her emotions were rising and she needed to get away.
“I’ll be in the bathroom,” Marisol told Katie as she got out of her seat and walked towards the restroom.
As soon as she entered, she started crying.
God, what had she become?
Later that day
He was firmly aware that he was making another mistake.
“Eli, this room is so cool! It’s so perfect!” Imogen gushed as she followed him into his room. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as she looked around the area. He could tell that she wanted to touch everything. He wouldn’t let her.
“Nirvana, All Time Low, My Chemical Romance, and Dead Hand? You have such excellent taste, though I should have expected this by now,” she continued with a flirty smile.
“Thanks,” he replied as he sat down on his bed. In all honesty, there was no need for Imogen to be over his house to “rehearse”. He was one hundred percent sure that they knew both of their lines by heart at this point, especially her. Imogen was the most devoted cast member of the play. She never missed a single meeting, complained about her role, or fucked her lines up. She was the perfect actress. It almost made him want to like her in the way she wanted him too.
He invited her over his house because he needed a distraction from how badly he fucked up his interview with Clare at The Dot. It went completely wrong when he was supposed to plant seeds of doubt in her relationship with Jake. How have things gotten so wrong with speaking to her when he use to have the perfect banter with Clare? He wasn’t behaving like himself anymore and it was pushing Clare further into the arms of that stupid clown.
Well, he wouldn’t give up. There was far too much to lose at this point.
“I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. Marisol is a rotten bitch for what she did,” Imogen told him sympathetically as she sat down next to him. “How could she lie about such an awful thing for attention?”
He didn’t bother correcting her at all, because right now he wanted to believe that Marisol was painting the wrong idea of their relationship to the school. He wanted to believe she tempted him to do things he never wanted to do.
“I don’t know why,” he answered, “She got her hopes up and is mad that it didn’t work out.”
“She’s an awful person. The Eli I know would never do any of what she described in that disgusting poem. I’m glad you fired Marisol from the play. She was only in it to cause you stress and turmoil. She’s a bloodsucking leech,” Imogen passionately ranted to him. Eli was a little taken back by her vitriol towards Mare-Marisol.
“Yeah, fuck her,” he agreed. He chose not to think about how it wasn’t too long ago that he nearly did. Anyway, he was going to push Marisol Lewis to the back of his dark mind where she would hopefully never escape from. “Let’s rehearse for the play,” he ordered.
“Okay!” Imogen accepted cheerfully.
As usual, she was able to recite her lines accurately as they went over the final script for the play. He was even tempted to imagine her as Clare. But just like Mare-Marisol, she would never be.
“I just hated the way we left things. The truth is you should be with me, not him,” Eli recited strongly to her while they held hands, “We can start over in a way where no one can come between us again. Just you and me against the world.”
“Just you and me against the world,” she repeated while looking at him adoringly in the eyes. She then leaned in and they softly kissed. Imogen’s lips felt as light as a feather.
He felt nothing.
“That was close but I think we should rehearse the scene a few more times, Eli,” Imogen said with a seductive undercurrent in her voice, “This play is so amazing.”
She really was enamored with him, wasn’t she? Eli looked at the girl in front of him. Imogen was beautiful in her own unique way with her olive skin, chocolate brown eyes, and long eyelashes. Under different circumstances he would have gone for her as she was aesthetically similar to Julia and had the same attitude of not giving a fuck about being seen as “weird”. She was a better fit for him than Marisol that’s for sure. Definitely.
“No, it’s you who’s amazing Clare,” he told her, staring deeply into her eyes. He was honestly flattered by how devoted she was to him. The only girl in his life who didn’t see him as a monster at that moment.
“You mean Clara,” Imogen corrected him, but he chose to ignore it. Grabbing her neck, he pulled her into another deep kiss. She wasted no time in opening her mouth so he could kiss her harder. He pushed her gently down onto the bed as he thrusted his tongue in and out of her mouth. He roamed his hands down her petite body as his mind soared to a different plane of existence.
Eli wanted to think of Clare while he kissed Imogen, but instead to his frustration someone else flashed in his mind. All of what he kept thinking of was that Imogen’s lips didn’t taste as sweet as hers, her brown eyes weren’t dark as hers, her skin wasn’t as dark as hers, and the way she moaned wasn’t as arousing as hers.
Even when he tried not to think of her, she refused to leave his mind.
The day of the play
Marisol was reading a book for English class when Imogen skipped up to her with a cheery smile on her face. She already didn’t like it.
“Hey Marisol,” the freak greeted her.
“What do you want?” She demanded immediately out of the other girl. She wasn’t even going to bother playing nice with her when she could tell the other girl was elated by Eli rejecting her.
“Just here to tell you that Eli and I are going to be together after the play,” the girl announced to her. Marisol snorted in response.
“With his obsession with getting his ex-girlfriend back, good luck,” she warned her, but the freak only smirked.
“Clare Edwards is only a distraction. He really wants me. He proved it to me when we made out last night for an hour,” Imogen told her smugly.
Ah, so the bitch was trying to get under her skin.
“He ate me out, I gave him a blowjob, and he still told me I didn’t matter. What makes you think you have a better chance than me?” Marisol pointed out, and to her amusement the smug look on Imogen’s face briefly faltered for a second.
“That was different and you’re lying on him for attention. You took advantage of his mental state and you’re not fit for him, I am,” Imogen argued.
“And telling him to not take his meds from the start isn’t taking advantage of his mental state? Look at what you did. He’s off his rocker now and playing you for a fool, which you clearly are,” Marisol sneered. Imogen Moreno was a stupid, delusional little bitch just like Eli. Maybe they were perfect for each other after all. Two delusional, weird, manipulative bitches. A match made in hell.
“You’ll see. I’ll prove it to Eli that we’re meant to be together. You were nothing more than a shallow witch and I’m glad you’re no longer here to ruin the play,” Imogen snarled as she walked away. Marisol was almost tempted to snatch the girl up and deck her in her mouth but she resisted. It wasn’t worth it.
Imogen was going to have to learn her lesson the hard way just like she was.
Eli was steaming as he left Simpson’s office.
Just when he thought he had at least someone, they betrayed him. Imogen betrayed him.
He couldn’t believe she planted the drugs in Clare’s locker instead of Jake’s. It was a foolish attempt to get rid of Clare and instead it made Clare even more mad at him. She would never forgive him.
Eli desperately wanted to cry in frustration as it seemed everything he built was collapsing around him. It was all because he trusted the wrong people. Everyone was conspiring to ruin this moment for him when it was supposed to bring Clare back to him. No one supported him, not even his parents. They all doubted him or plotted to destroy him. He had no friends. He had only enemies.
It was soul-crushing to know that he was on his own at this point.
Eli walked up to his locker and let out a roar as he punched it in anger.
When the final bell for school rang, Marisol entered the bathroom to take a piss. Peeing was gross but it was a necessary function she guessed.
In the stall next to her, she heard sobbing. Despite how irritated she was today, Marisol couldn’t help but feel concerned.
“You alright over there? What’s wrong?” She asked the other girl, but the sobbing only got louder. Poor girl, she must have gotten dumped, or cheated on, or found out she was pregnant. You never knew which it was at Degrassi.
After she was done using the toilet and was washing her hands, the other girl came out of the stall and revealed herself to be Imogen. Her eyes were blood red with tears, snot was running down her nose, and tears were running down her cheeks like a waterfall. Whatever sympathy Marisol had for the girl immediately evaporated.
“What’s wrong? Eli told you you guys aren’t meant to be together?” Marisol taunted. She knew it was a bitch thing to do but she didn’t care. She wanted to revel in the other girl’s pain.
“Sh-sh-shut up,” the weirdo stuttered, breathing heavily. Marisol let out a tsk in response.
“I tried to warn you about that guy, but it was all smiles, remember? I was just lying on him for attention. Sucks to be you, right now,” Marisol remarked with a smirk as she left the restroom.
She didn’t expect for Imogen to get her karma that quickly, but it was a welcome sight regardless. Whatever she did to piss Eli off, she deserved it.
She could hear Imogen’s cries from outside the bathroom.
“Are you sure you can do this, Babyboy?” Cece asked him as he got ready in his room. The play was premiering in a few hours. Regardless of the ugliness of today’s events, it was showtime. His mother was brushing his hair even though he was going to do all of that when he got to the dressing room at school anyway.
“I’m fine,” Eli flatly replied as he put his dress coat on. At this point, he had nothing else to lose but himself. And he was starting to think death wasn’t a bad idea. At least he could be reunited with Julia wherever she was, or in another life. He didn’t believe in the concept of heaven or hell, but he did believe in the existence of a different dimension after death. Maybe Julia was there, just floating around in darkness or light, or whatever.
“Bullfrog and I are not sure you’ll be able to handle tonight. You seem tense, honey, and we’re worried about you,” his mother added, frowning.
“I’m fine Cece,” he repeated through gritted teeth. He didn’t need this talk at all.
In the mirror, Cece smiled sadly.
“Whatever you say, baby.”
She went back and forth with herself on whether she should go to the play or stay home.
She chose to go to the play.
As Marisol applied a shade of cinnamon flavored lip gloss to her lips, she couldn’t help but feel excited about tonight. Why? It was simple; She was going to have a front seat to the disaster that was Love Roulette. From the rumors she heard flying around about the script changes Eli made at the very last minute, and how he fired Jake because he disagreed with his role, it sounded like the play was shaping up to be the worst in Degrassi history. Her outing the way he treated her after they hooked up didn’t help and only added to the controversy of the play.
She was excited at the possibility of Eli never recovering from this.
Marisol looked at herself in the tall mirror in her bedroom. She decided to look extra glamorous tonight as a way to show Eli what he turned down. With her sleek black dress, flashy jewelry, and silver heels, she felt amazing. Her silver eyeshadow matched her heels, and her sharp eyeliner complimented her black dress. Before getting dressed, she had exfoliated her skin and rubbed her body with scented body oils. Her hair was done up in millions of curls as they bounced around her shoulders.
If she was going to go to this train wreck, she was going to look and feel sexy while doing so. She had enough of letting shitty life events drive her to not take care of herself. No, this was the beginning of a whole new Marisol Lewis.
One that would no longer let boys manipulate her.
There was no way the play wasn’t a disaster right now and it was all his fault. He can now admit that.
Jake hated him, Clare hated him, Fiona hated him, Imogen hated him, Ms. Dawes probably hated him, and worst of all Marisol hated him. He burned bridges with everyone just like how he did with Julia. His very nature was self-destructive. It never took him long to ruin a relationship because at his core he was an awful person. A disease.
As he read his lines to Fiona in front of the audience, Eli could feel himself fading away as his anxiety was rising to uncontrollable degrees. It was like he was about to explode. Everything was collapsing around him, or burning up in flames.
Eli looked over the audience, and in his mind he saw nothing but faces mocking him for being a failure. He was one, but they didn’t have to laugh about it. If they weren’t laughing, they were staring at him in disappointment. That was Clare, who he tried to find admiration in her eyes but it wasn’t there.
Marisol was in the front row, and her appearance ate at him the most. She was dressed like a Hollywood starlet and had an evil smirk on her face. She looked sinfully beautiful, and he knew it was on purpose. She wanted to feel powerful while he felt powerless over his own production.
He deserved it. He had hurt her more than anyone else, and she was going to make sure he would be reminded of it constantly. He wanted to hate her, and a part of him still wanted to blame this girl for his attraction to her. Even now, with her looking at him with complete venom in her eyes, he couldn’t help but be entranced by her. She was beautiful even in this moment.
It was making him not focus.
“Thanks for coming. I just hated the way we left things. The truth is...is you should be with me, not...him. I’m sorry, yeah...what?” He asked himself out loud as he stumbled over his lines.
Fiona was sitting across from him as Clara.
“Maybe we should go away from here?” ‘Clara’ offered, but that wasn’t her line.
“No that’s not how it goes. That’s my line, not yours. You’re not following the script,” he scolded Fiona.
“You’re not exactly following the script either, Ari,” Fiona shot back as several audience members chuckled.
“It doesn’t matter you’re not her,” Eli replied with a scowl.
“Eli come on, we’re almost done,” Fiona pleaded as she tried to keep her voice above a whisper.
Something in Eli snapped.
“What script, there’s no script, you CAN’T write your life!” He found himself yelling. He snatched Fiona’s script from her hands roughly as he got up from his seat.
He suddenly found himself standing up on stage and eyeing the whole audience. What came next was a testament to how much he didn’t care about what else could go wrong at this point.
“No matter how much all of you want a happy ending you can’t have it,” he began with a snarl as he addressed the crowd, “I try to write one but it’s impossible. I rewrote and rewrote but things kept changing and I hurt people and I knew they were hurting,” he directed at both Imogen who was standing by the stage lights and Marisol, whose smug expression was replaced with a face of surprise, “I didn’t stop because your mind tricks you. It tricks you into thinking that things are fine. They’re not fine, nothing is fine, it’s all WRONG! I’m all wrong. So that’s it. There’s no happy ending,” he snarled. He then pulled out a lighter from his dress jacket and lit the script on fire.
He threw the burning script down and then collapsed to his knees in front of it. He admired the flames in front of him. Red, yellow, and orange clouded his vision as he wondered if he should have burned himself instead to destroy what he had become.
Eli was so focused on the fire in front of him that he didn’t really hear Fiona call for the lights and he didn’t really notice the standing ovation he received from the audience for his performance.
He only really cared about the fire.
She was still mad at Eli.
Marisol was sniffling as she clapped along with everyone else during the curtain call. She didn’t want to but Eli’s performance made her cry. The play was beautiful. The whole cast and crew of Love Roulette came on stage to take a bow as the crowd continued to cheer. It should have been her up there with them but Eli robbed her of that moment when he fired her.
But that was the least of their problems now.
The problem was that Eli was not mentally well, and he showed that by what he just done. He snapped and burned a script live in front of everyone. People probably thought it was all a part of the show but she knew it wasn’t. He needed help as soon as possible, and that help needed to be more than just the meds he wasn’t obviously wasn’t taking.
She was still mad at Eli, though.
Only now, she also pitied him.
The next day
He wasn’t on board with missing school for a couple of days but if it was going to improve his mental health, then it was for the best.
However before he left, he needed to see her.
“Make it quick, Eli,” Bullfrog told him as he walked outside to the car. Eli nodded as he searched for Marisol in the halls. She was by her locker applying a shade of lip gloss as per usual.
“Mare,” he called her name to get her attention while walking up to her. She turned around and he could see every negative emotion in her eyes. There was disgust, anger, confusion, and hurt, but surprisingly there was also pity.
“Eli,” she greeted stiffly.
“I’ll be gone for a few days to, um, take care of myself,” he told her. The tension between them was almost palpable and it made him uncomfortable.
“Okay,” she replied and he knew she wanted to ask what did that have to do with her. He was almost blown away by her lack of interest. It was in deep contrast compared to a few days ago.
“I’m sorry for everything. I just want you to know that,” he apologized, trying to earn a softer attitude from her. It didn’t work judging by her reaction.
“Okay,” she repeated coldly, and it felt like he was punched in his gut. He nodded before walking away, pain clear on his face. Marisol used to think the world of him but now looked at him with nothing but scorn. It’s what he deserved but it crushed him inside.
One day, he hoped she would forgive him.