Chapter Text
Even more than usual, today's Yukina was radiant. Of course, Lisa had heard her sing countless times before, but the difference between hearing her voice in the quiet confines of Lisa's bedroom and hearing it here, in the midst of an excited crowd, was night and day. It was as though there was an endless positive feedback loop between Yukina and the audience, with her music prompting louder and louder cheers she then turned into fuel for her performance, her flame burning brighter and brighter. At school, Lisa felt as though a lot of students interpreted Yukina's utter lack of interest in socializing or academics as reflective of a kind of general malaise, but watching her on the stage it was obvious that couldn't be further from the truth. Yukina's every triumphant gesture, every passionately delivered lyric, seared themselves into Lisa's heart. A thought flickered through her head, unbidden.
So this is what people mean when they say someone is born to be a star…
After what felt like simultaneously an eternity and no time at all, the concert came to an end, with Yukina smiling one last fierce, almost prideful smile at the crowd. Lisa's elevated heartbeat gradually began to slow down, and, for the first time since Yukina had begun singing, glanced to her right.
"What'd you think? Sayo."
"It was impressive. I can't deny that." Sayo's voice was calm, but the intensity with which her gaze followed Yukina as she left the stage told no lies. It was a different kind of intensity than the fastidiousness she brought to her studies, or the attachment she seemed to have to rules of all forms—something hotter and stronger. Or, because it was Sayo, perhaps it was better to say it was so cold it burned hot.
Regardless, almost by accident, Lisa seemed to have stumbled on the one thing that this girl really cared about.
The start of all this had come a couple of weeks beforehand, at the local library. When exams were close, or when students suddenly realized that the end of summer vacation was quickly approaching and they had homework to finish, the library could get a little hectic, but now, early in the summer, it was calm, only a few scattered studious individuals dotting the many tables. In this ideal environment for concentrating, Lisa figured she might as well get a head start on her summer homework for once in her life.
But after an hour or so of banging her head against math problems, she could feel a cloud of defeat starting to form over her head. The further she got in high school, the less sense all of this started to make. Her textbook's once-friendly-seeming numbers had started to arrange themselves in patterns that seemed purposely designed to resist being understood, at least by someone of Lisa's talents. Staring at the clock on the wall, she let out a faint sigh. It was still too early an hour to take a break and go eat lunch, but giving up here and going to do something else didn't exactly sit well with her either. Groaning slightly, she put her head down on her open textbook, her hair splaying out over the meticulously annotated graphs like so many curves she needed to find the area under.
It was at that point that she heard a voice from the other side of the table.
"Is everything all right?"
Lisa sat up abruptly, a wave of embarrassment washing over her for not realizing earlier that she wasn't alone. The person who'd called out to her was a girl who looked to be about the same age as Lisa was, her somewhat stern expression framed by long, slightly wavy blue-green hair. It was unclear from her voice whether she was expressing concern for Lisa or admonishing her.
"Oh, I'm fine! Just a little frustrated with my math homework, that's all." Lisa laughed awkwardly.
"I see." The girl shifted her gaze back to her books, and Lisa was about to do the same when something in the neatly transcribed notes laid out on the table across from her caught her eye.
"Hey, are you a high school second-year too? Do you know how to solve this kind of problem? I've been stuck on it for half an hour."
The girl blinked for a second, somewhat taken aback, and then spoke. "Certainly. What you have to do is—" She frowned, and then began to gather up her notes. "It'll be easier if I come over there."
Her explanation was thorough and precise, and Lisa quickly understood what she'd been missing.
"Thanks a lot! Still, though, even though it makes sense when you explain it, I don't know if I can reproduce that on a new problem…"
"It's an issue of practice. You can think of the set of formulas you have here as a toolbox; the more familiar you become with your tools, the better you'll know which situation to use which one in. It comes more naturally to some people than others, but fundamentally, the more you study, the better your results will be."
"You seem like a real good student! I wish I could be as diligent as you."
"…I just feel as though I might as well spend my time doing something productive, that's all." She seemed somewhat sheepish, as though unused to being praised for her work.
The explanation over, silence returned to the table, but the green-haired girl made no move to return to her previous seat.
Lisa made some effort to continue working out math problems, but quickly found her thoughts slipping elsewhere. She glanced at the girl next to her, who was studiously making her way through her textbook, a serious expression on her face. Through the library's large window, the sun reflected off of her hair in a way that somehow reminded Lisa of the ocean… but more than a sunny beach, the girl's aura conjured an image that was a little less openly warm and inviting. Like a moonlit night in winter, pretty to look at but cold and dark enough that one wouldn't want to stay too long. …Just thinking that made Lisa a little embarrassed.
"Did you need something else?" There was a somewhat quizzical look on the girl's face as she looked back in Lisa's direction, and Lisa abruptly realized she'd been absentmindedly staring.
"Oh, sorry! I was just, um, thinking about this problem here, because I feel like I did it right but the answer doesn't seem to be quite what I was supposed to get…" Lisa had the feeling her lie was more than a little obvious, but there was no way she could say what she'd really been thinking.
"Let me see." The girl leaned in, a clean but not overly sweet or girly fragrance wafting from her hair. As she carefully explained how Lisa had made a mistake in her application of the inverse cosine function, Lisa felt obligated to revise her earlier description. Describing this girl as warm and inviting still didn't feel exactly right, but if she was this willing to help out someone she'd just met, then there had to be some kindness hidden beneath her stern exterior.
Eventually Lisa glanced up at the clock once more and, after taking a moment to stretch her arms, began to gather her things. Tapping the green-haired girl on the shoulder, she spoke.
"I'm meeting up with some friends to go eat lunch, so I'm done with studying for now. Thanks a lot for helping me out!"
"I don't think I've done anything worth being thanked for. But I'm glad I was able to be of some use."
"Are you going to be here again on Wednesday?"
"It's likely."
"Well, then—sorry, what was your name? I'm Lisa, by the way."
"Hikawa Sayo."
"I'll see you then, Sayo!"
Sayo looked nonplussed, her brow wrinkling as though she was unsure of what to make of the situation. Then, finally, she nodded at Lisa and once more returned her focus to her work.
For a second, Lisa stopped and stared at her. The dust illuminated by the midday sunshine. The view of Sayo's serious (but still pretty) face in profile. The lock of hair falling into her face that she pushed back behind her ear.
It was picturesque enough that Lisa couldn't resist pulling out her phone and capturing it.
"Sayo, are there any kind of cookies you particularly like?"
Sayo glanced over in Lisa's direction and cocked her head to one side.
"Why do you ask?"
"I wanted to give you some, as a thanks for helping me out with math."
"I thought I said it wasn't worth being thanked for. Teaching math helps me understand the concepts better as well, so it's not as though I've done anything that merits you going out of your way."
Even as difficult as Yukina could be, giving her baked goods was usually a surefire way to improve her mood. Sayo, on the other hand, seemed as though she might be a trickier opponent.
"How about this, then: would you let me bake some cookies for you? Just for my own self-satisfaction."
Sayo's brow wrinkled again, and a perplexed expression Lisa was already getting used to seeing appeared on her face.
"You're an… unusual person. More so than I expected."
"You think so? I always thought of myself as pretty normal…" Normal parents, a normal house, a normal amount of friends, normal grades… there'd never been any real reason for Lisa to think of herself as the kind of person who stood out in any real way.
"I don't think a normal girl would go this far to engage with someone like me. But perhaps I'm not the best person to ask."
"You don't see yourself as normal?"
"I don't think it would be an accurate description, no. Not that that necessarily makes me an interesting person."
"I was kind of hoping you had some secret out-there hobby or something. Like skydiving."
"…Skydiving?"
"Well, what do you like, then? Everyone's got something they're passionate about, right? Even if it's just studying."
Sayo sighed. "I'm not sure passion is a word that really fits me. I don't hate studying, but I'm not sure I'd say I enjoy it either. Were I not obligated to do so, I don't know that this is how I would spend my time."
"How would you spend your time, then? I mean, when I'm free, I like reading fashion magazines and baking sweets and knitting. I don't know that I'd say I'm passionate about all of those things, but I still enjoy doing them."
"…If we're going to talk, it should be about something more productive." Lisa wasn't sure if she'd accidentally raised a touchy topic, or if Sayo simply didn't have any interest in making small talk with her.
But still, she couldn't stop herself from being curious. Sayo had to have something she truly cared about, right? Even though she was clearly a very good student, there was a certain awkwardness and formality to the way she talked about her studies that gave the impression she wasn't entirely in her element. As though there was a real Sayo hidden somewhere inside, in need of the right place and moment to be able to show her face.
Lisa's thoughts drifted to Yukina. Every time she heard her childhood friend sing, she felt like Yukina became, for that moment, the most Yukina she could be. If they hadn't heard her music, other people's conceptions of Yukina, no matter how much time they spent with her, couldn't help but be incomplete. Was Sayo that way too? Was Lisa missing the key element that would let her understand this girl who seemed to try her best to resist being understood?
And why, exactly, did Lisa care so much? Would it not have been just as easy to thank Sayo for her help and avoid digging any deeper? What prompted her to want to get to know a person she'd only met a few times and who seemed actively uninterested in getting close to other people?
Glancing over at Sayo again, she remembered the picture she'd surreptitiously taken the first day they'd met. In the moment she'd only thought about what a pretty scene it made, but when looking at the picture again it had seemed to exude a faint loneliness, as though the vast empty space of the library was too heavy a weight for the girl at its center. It wasn't obvious, exactly, but every once in a while that same loneliness seeped in from the corners of Sayo's sentences, giving them a slightly bitter aftertaste.
To put it simply, Lisa didn't want to see Sayo look like that. People said that her inability to leave people alone was both one of her good and bad traits; at best, a helping hand extended to someone in need, at worst a step too far into affairs that were none of her business. It was too early to say whether pushing herself into Sayo's life would end up being the former or the latter, but Lisa wasn't the type of person to give up without trying.
For now, she thought, it was best to just think of it like this: Sayo's helped me out with studying, so it's only fair that I return some of that kindness. Whatever form that return may take.
"How were the cookies?" Lisa asked, trying not to seem too eager to hear Sayo's response. It was the second week of summer vacation now, and the two of them meeting in the library had become something of a routine, but she still felt vaguely on edge around Sayo, as though saying the wrong thing might derail their burgeoning friendship.
"They were good. I don't know that I've ever had anyone bake homemade sweets for me before." Sayo's inflection was more or less the same as it always was, but just the fact that she'd accepted and eaten the cookies put Lisa in a good mood.
"You'll have to tell me what kinds you like for the next time. The person I usually make them for really likes sweet stuff, so I always put in a lot of sugar, but I don't know if that's your kind of thing…"
"You've already decided that there's going to be a next time, I see."
"Ah, no, well, I mean, I'd like to make cookies for you again but that's only if you're okay with it—" Lisa hurriedly tried to explain herself, then took a look at Sayo's face and stopped.
For the first time since they'd met, Sayo was smiling, the corners of her mouth turned up in amusement. Upon seeing that expression, Lisa felt a wave of relief wash over her. It was always hard to shake the feeling, both with Sayo and many other people in her life, that she cared more about their friendship than the other side did. So seeing Sayo smile at her was the kind of tangible sign she'd hoped for.
It isn't just me who enjoys this time together.
If that was true, then maybe, just maybe, it was okay to push a little harder.
"By the way, Sayo. Next week one of my friends is having a concert, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go together…"
"A concert?"
"She's really talented! Like, people in the industry say that she could pursue music as a career if she wanted to. It'll be worth your while, I promise."
"…I'll think about it." Sayo's expression was unreadable.
"I'll message you the details, so if you feel like coming, just let me know. I'm more or less done with my summer homework by this point, so I'm not sure how often I'll be coming to the library, but I'd feel bad if I just never saw you again, you know?"
"Because you've gotten used to having someone help you out with math?"
Sayo's tone was light, but there was something about it that rubbed Lisa the wrong way.
"You're not very good at jokes, you know. Is it so weird to think that I might enjoy your company?"
Sayo's eyes opened wide for a second, and then turned downwards, that vague sadness Lisa had seen before showing its face once again.
"Sorry. I'm glad you enjoy talking to me. I didn't mean to suggest that you had ulterior motives."
At Sayo's response Lisa immediately felt her chest tighten. She'd asked the question as though the answer were an obvious "yes," but for Sayo, the answer might not necessarily…
She didn't want to think about the rest.
"Oh, no, it's fine. I didn't mean to get upset. Well, if you really want proof I don't have ulterior motives, then maybe you should come to the concert? No math there, I promise."
Lisa wasn't sure if the grin she'd put on was at all convincing, but a smile briefly flashed across Sayo's face.
"If I feel like it."
"Is it really okay to leave without saying anything to her?" Sayo asked, sounding a little bit regretful. "At the very least, I want to tell her that I enjoyed her performance. In particular, her choices of songs to cover were all very good. In the past, I've heard covers that seemed to misunderstand what made the original song effective in the first place, but that wasn't the case at all here."
"You really got into it, didn't you, Sayo?" Lisa laughed. "But, well, even though it's true that we've been friends since we were kids, lately… we haven't really been talking too much. She's just been really focused on music. To the point where it seems like she feels like socializing with anyone who isn't going to help her music goals is a waste of time. So… it's probably better if we don't go talk to her. I don't think it'd go well."
"…I see."
"Um, anyway! Did you want to go somewhere after this? Like, to get something to eat? I'm in the mood to talk a little bit more, if you want to," Lisa said, doing her best to steer the conversation away from the heavy direction it seemed to be taking.
Sayo's grave expression lightened somewhat, and she nodded. "That might be nice."
"Your house has a very relaxing atmosphere." Staring vaguely at the various posters on the walls, Sayo was reclining against Lisa's bed, a cup of tea in her hand.
"Does it? I'm happy to hear that! It's, uh, been a while since anyone came over here." To be honest, Lisa's house would not have been her first choice of places to rest and talk, but Sayo had balked at going to a fast food place and it was a little bit too warm to sit outside somewhere, so this was what they'd settled on.
"So, your friend whose performance we just went to lives in the house next door?" Sayo's voice was hesitant, as though she was gauging Lisa's response.
…Despite her occasional bluntness, she really was a nice person, wasn't she. But it was fine. Lisa wasn't so weak of a person that she needed other people to be that considerate of her.
"Yep! Her room's right out that window there. When you think about it, it's pretty lucky, isn't it? Having one of your closest friends live right next door to you. Plus, I've gotten to spend a lot of time listening to her practice singing over the years… it gives you a kind of feeling of superiority, you know, being able to monopolize someone who's in high demand like she is."
Sayo smiled lightly and took a sip of her tea. "After seeing her concert the other day, I can see how you'd feel that way. It almost made me want to play guitar again."
"Right?" Lisa said, smiling back. Then, after a second, "Wait, you played guitar?" The sudden arrival of unexpected information left her taken aback, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. The reason why Sayo had accepted Lisa's invitation to the concert. The excitement that still lingered, faintly, in her normally relaxed mannerisms.
"I did, yes, but it's all in the past now. I don't have any interest in dredging it up again." Sayo grimaced, as though regretting having brought up the topic in the first place. But the wave of Lisa's curiosity wasn't about to ebb quite so easily.
"You can't just casually say something like that and expect me to just let it go! Just imagining the thought of you playing guitar is making me really want to see it."
"Unfortunately, I'm nowhere near as good as your friend was earlier. Considering how out of practice I am, it would likely be a disappointing experience."
Lisa puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "I'm not asking you to be as good as Yukina. We talked about it before, right? I'm interested in learning more about your hobbies and passions and stuff because it's you, not because I'm trying to hunt down world-class guitarists. Isn't that normal for friends?"
Sayo looked somewhat taken aback, then sighed. "It would be hard to call playing the guitar a passion or a hobby. I told you before that I'm not an interesting enough person to have things like that."
"Well, then, what made you start playing guitar in the first place?" Lisa knew full well that asking this much was obnoxious, but she couldn't shake her suspicion that there was more to the story than what Sayo was telling her. Someone who was that invested in Yukina's concert, to the point where she knew all of the songs Yukina was singing, had no real interest in music? Something just didn't quite add up.
"In middle school, one of my upperclassmen in the kyudo club played as a hobby, so I picked it up from her. We practiced together fairly regularly for about two years, and then she graduated and the amount of time we had to see each other decreased, so I just naturally lost interest in playing. That's all."
"…Oh." Lisa suddenly felt a surge of guilt, as though she'd crossed a line she shouldn't have crossed by asking.
"You don't need to feel bad about it. Like I said, it was hardly a passion of mine, so quitting was surprisingly painless. Nothing can last forever." She smiled at Lisa, seemingly wanting to project a carefree aura.
It didn't work.
That blunt attitude she shared with Yukina, the way she had a tendency to say things straight out without sugarcoating them at all—Sayo was nothing if not straightforward.
Which meant that it was real obvious when she was lying.
"If it was so painless to quit playing the guitar, then surely you have no serious objection to playing it again, right?"
If Sayo was going to stick to this story of hers, then Lisa was going to play right along with it.
"You… could say that, yes." She sighed. "Every time I talk to you it drives home just how stubborn you are. Do you really want to see me play that badly?"
You're quite the stubborn girl yourself. "Please?"
"…If it's just one time, then, I suppose I could bring it out of retirement."
Lisa leaned against Sayo, their shoulders bumping against each other. "Thanks a lot, Sayo. I feel a little bad for shoving some sort of selfish request on you every time we talk, but you're always so nice to me it makes me want to ask for more."
Sayo turned toward Lisa, a faint look of surprise appearing on her face before quickly shifting into a deep sigh. "Rather than nice, I would say I'm just easily bribed by homemade sweets. Try not to think too highly of me."
Lisa laughed. "Well then, I'll just have to keep making more so that you stay around, won't I?"
"I'm getting the feeling I told you something I shouldn't have," Sayo responded, smiling, and Lisa felt her chest filling with an indescribable warmth. Compared to Sayo's earlier strained smile, this one was infinitely kinder and more gentle, the sort of smile that seemed like it would make any of Sayo's classmates who saw it instantly change their opinion of her.
Of all the faces Lisa had seen Sayo make, this one definitely suited her the best.
By the time Lisa realized the doorbell had rung, the door to her house was already open. Running over to the stairs, she looked down towards the entranceway, where Sayo was making a shallow bow, the tall black guitar case on her back leaning with her as she did so.
"Hikawa Sayo. It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
"Lisa never really brings friends over these days, so I'm always curious to see who she's been getting along with. Do you have time to stay for dinner? We'd love to have you!" Lisa's mother's smile exuded warmth and friendliness, but also somehow a feeling of pressure.
There was a brief pause before Sayo responded, which Lisa took as her opportunity to butt in.
"Mom! Don't try and force Sayo into doing anything she doesn't want to do."
Lisa's mother flashed an innocent smile at her, then turned back to Sayo. "Well, I suppose it's no good to delay you for too long. We'll have to find another time to talk some more."
Then, in a voice low enough so as to be inaudible to Lisa, she whispered something else into Sayo's ear. Sayo nodded imperceptibly, her cheeks faintly tinged with red, and then took Lisa's outstretched hand and began to ascend the stairs.
The thought of Sayo and her mother talking about something secret filled Lisa with curiosity and mild frustration, but she shoved those feelings to the side, tightening her grip on Sayo's hand.
"Sorry about my mom. She can, uh, be a little pushy sometimes, so you don't have to stay here for dinner if you don't feel like it. Though I guess maybe I shouldn't be talking about people being pushy." She laughed awkwardly.
"She seems like a nice woman. Like I said before, your house is an easy place to relax in."
"You're welcome to come over as much as you like, then!"
The two of them reached Lisa's bedroom, and Sayo set down both her guitar and the small amp she'd been carrying, rubbing her shoulders as she did so.
"It's been a while since I've carried all of this equipment around, so I'm no longer used to the weight."
"I felt like seeing you carrying a guitar around really suited you, though! Just one look at you and it's like oh, this girl really has the musician vibe, you know what I mean?"
Sayo furrowed her brow for a second, seemingly unsure of how to respond.
"…Thank you?" she said, finally.
Lisa burst out laughing, which only made the wrinkles on Sayo's forehead deepen.
"Anyway," she coughed, "did you have anything in particular you wanted to hear me play?"
"Hmm…" Lisa thought for a second. "I'm not as knowledgeable about these kinds of things as you or Yukina are, so I'll leave it up to you."
"Understood." She'd said it had been a while since she last played, but the assured movements with which she tuned her guitar and adjusted the amp came across as anything but rusty. There was a kind of fastidiousness to her preparations that reminded Lisa very much of the thorough way she approached her schoolwork, and suddenly a conversation Lisa had had with Yukina's father when she was younger drifted back into her head. What was most important if you were going to be serious about music, he'd said, was dedication. More than talent, the keys to success were the ability to not get discouraged when things weren't going your way and to respond to criticism of your playing by improving the skills you were lacking in. After bearing witness to Sayo's meticulous studying methods, it was easy to imagine her as the kind of person who would play a single phrase a hundred times just to make completely sure that she had it correct.
"Are you ready?" Sayo ran her fingers over the strings one last time to make sure everything was in order, then glanced over at Lisa.
"Ah, yes! Go ahead." Despite it not being her who was playing, Lisa felt strangely nervous.
Sayo nodded, and her concert for an audience of one began.
Whenever Yukina sang, the word that always came to Lisa's mind to describe it was "pressure." Lisa, and presumably the other people who came to Yukina's concerts, enjoyed her performances precisely because they couldn't relate to them. Yukina's power to awe people into submission didn't feel like something that ordinary human beings could achieve, which was exactly what made her exciting to watch.
There was something about Sayo's guitar playing that echoed that. Both she and Yukina produced more distance than camaraderie through their performances; but rather than Yukina's overwhelming pressure, Sayo's dark blue guitar gave off an impression of isolation. She was as technically correct as Lisa had expected and also as lacking in warmth, the rose motif on her guitar's body inviting onlookers to admire its beauty while also warning them not to get too close lest they be pricked.
In a way, it was the Sayo Lisa knew. Convinced that her individual hard work, independent of anyone else's assistance, would lead to success. But that cold fire in her eyes, the same expression she'd made at Yukina's concert, was a new discovery. Something just felt right about seeing Sayo like this, in a way that it never had when the two of them were studying together in the library. It was as though up until now the lens Lisa was using to view her had had Vaseline smeared around the edges and wouldn't quite focus.
But now, the image was finally sharp. This was, Lisa felt, as close to the real Hikawa Sayo as she'd yet seen. And for reasons Lisa was still unclear on, this guarded, proud lone wolf had let Lisa into her solitary world.
…From the start, that was the way it had been, hadn't it? As much as she might have grumbled about it, Sayo had never once rejected Lisa, even when Lisa's requests had bordered on unreasonable. And now, watching Sayo perform, seeing her lay bare what felt like a part of her true self… it seemed meaningful, somehow, in a way Lisa couldn't quite express with words.
She closed her eyes and listened to the clear, crisp sound of Sayo's guitar. In her mind, even the room they were in, with its various magazines and stuffed animals and cute decorations, ceased to exist, leaving just two vague people-shapes and a dark blue guitar. It would be hard to call the sound that resonated through her head calming or pleasant, but to Lisa it was nevertheless deeply alluring: a distillation of everything that had drawn her to Sayo in the first place, lonely yet attractive, strict yet gentle.
And upon hearing it, that stubborn, nosy, needlessly good-natured side that Sayo was so good at bringing out of her reared its head once more.
"It was really, really good, Sayo. I thought I was gonna cry by the end…!"
"Surely with someone like her living next door you've heard plenty of better performances."
Lisa thought for a second. "I mean, of course I like listening to Yukina sing, but if I had to pick… I'd say your performance just now was my favorite."
"Is… that so."
"There was just something special about it! …It really came across how much you care about playing guitar."
"I thought I told you that that wasn't the case." Sayo's tone sharpened, and the air temperature in the room suddenly dropped. In a normal situation, this would be where Lisa would stand down. Conflict was hardly her forte, and there was no guarantee that anything good would come of openly clashing with Sayo. And yet—maybe it was the lingering heat in her chest from hearing Sayo's performance—something spurred her on.
"You really are no good at lying, Sayo."
Sayo opened her eyes wide for a second, then her face contorted into a grimace. The vaguely nauseous feeling in the pit of Lisa's stomach suggested to her that this wasn't going to end well, but she'd passed the point of no return. "The only time I've seen you really, genuinely interested in something is when it has to do with music. I don't know what exactly happened with you quitting, but… are you sure you won't reconsider?"
Lisa looked up at Sayo pleadingly, but the other girl's gaze was cold and unfriendly. The passion that had been present in it during her performance was long gone, leaving only a bottomless iciness that seemed like it might form crystals in the air around her.
"I see now that I made an error in judgment. I should never have come here to play guitar—no, going to that concert in the first place was my real mistake." She placed a hand on her guitar case as though preparing to leave, sending a sudden wave of panic through Lisa.
"Let's, um, leave that question for later, then," she said, hurriedly trying to regain some control of the situation. "But when you stopped playing, it was because there was something painful that happened to you, right?"
Sayo said nothing.
"Sayo… it's okay to admit that you were hurt by something. It's not a sign of weakness." Lisa tried her best to sound soothing.
After what felt like an interminable silence, Sayo finally spoke.
"Even if what you said were true, what would I gain from telling people that? What few people there are close to me have not, historically, expressed much interest in listening to my problems. If I were doing something that embarrassed them, or caused my grades to drop, though, then they might pay attention." She laughed bitterly, and Lisa felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. All this time, she'd taken for granted that when she was sad, her mom would hug her and tell her that everything would be all right, or her dad would cook her a warm bowl of chikuzenni, or her friends would take her out to karaoke to cheer her up. Surely, having that kind of support was what had made her the kind of person she was today. To think that Sayo hadn't had anyone to reach out to when she was suffering… it was almost too painful to think about.
"What about me, then?" she asked, voice quiet.
"…I'm sorry?"
"If you don't have anyone who'll listen to your problems, then I will. I can't promise I can fix everything, but at the very least I can listen, and make cookies, and give you a hug if you want one. That's better than nothing, right?"
Lisa moved next to Sayo and laid a hand gently on her shoulder. Sayo's face was turned away from Lisa, at an angle where her expression was unreadable no matter how hard Lisa tried to peek at it.
"Sayo."
Slowly, gradually, as though it took her a great effort to do so, Sayo looked over in Lisa's direction.
"Why… are you going this far?" she asked, her voice clearly conflicted.
Lisa could understand why Sayo might be confused. Certainly, what Lisa was currently doing wasn't something most people would consider rational. But to her, the reason was so obvious as to be barely even worth asking.
"'Cause there's one thing I hate more than anything, and that's when my friends are sad!"
She flashed a smile in Sayo's direction, and gradually the cloudy expression on Sayo's face changed to a resigned, faint smile of her own. Resting her head on Lisa's shoulder, Sayo spoke in a quiet but heartfelt voice.
"…Thank you."
Lisa gently stroked Sayo's soft, blue-green hair in response, and, once again, felt her chest slowly filling up with warmth.