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He kept reliving it.
The screaming.
The pain.
The burning . How ironic.
That sensation he had felt a stranger to for so long hurt him as the Promare tore from each of his pores, igniting his blood and boiling him from the inside out. And he couldn’t stop reliving it.
There were no scars to prove the fire that once protected him was used to unravel him. There was nothing to show that the only relief he felt was when his existence greyed and began to scatter, each molecule of his being like grains spilling from an hourglass. But time turned back somehow and he had his arms again. He had his life. He was okay. So why couldn’t he let all his rage and fear vanish along with the Promare?
He told them once before, Meis and Guiera, that the Burnish didn’t kill. But had he let them, would it have been different then? Could more Burnish have been saved and could he have been spared reliving this memory as an expendable human battery?
That’s right. The Burnish were human. He remembered having to prove this. And he had to remember that what he did, he did for all of them.
He supposed it didn’t matter now, being alive and able to spend his days helping to restore first Promepolis then the rest of the world. So he clenched his eyes to push back what only existed in memory. Everyone that could have been saved was safe now.
Galo said something then. Lio looked up from the spot he wasn’t quite looking at, chin resting on his palm. “Hmm?”
“Did you hear me?”
“Hmm… no. I didn’t.” A blunt but honest answer. It didn’t seem out of the ordinary, but judging from the look Galo gave him, brows lifted and eyes full of hurt, Lio figured he must have responded too harshly.
“You okay?” Galo spoke slower, softer. Lio didn’t like that. He didn’t mean to make Galo tread around him so carefully.
Lio bit his lip, holding back another outburst and he felt cold. He crossed his arms seeking a warmth that wasn’t there. “I’m fine.”
Galo picked up on that. Despite his brashness and naiveté, Galo recently seemed more perceptive to Lio’s behavior. He deserves more credit , Lio thought.
Galo put his hands on Lio’s arms. They were so warm .
“I’m here if you need to talk. I’m good for more than fighting fires.” Galo flashed a replica of his signature wide grin. Something about it wasn’t quite right. Maybe Lio was also a bit more perceptive. Could Galo be feeling the fires after the fact, too?
“I-….” Lio started. He replayed the memory from where he hid it, trying to find the right words without letting too much out, and it exhausted him. Just as soon as he started, wasn’t sure he wanted to finish. Galo, Lio concluded, suffered in his own way from the aftershock of Kray Foresight. Not just the chaos Kray wrought, but the betrayal of his idol. His hero. The last thing Galo needed was to bear someone else’s problem when he had so much of his own to figure out. Lio’s breath shuddered as he stopped himself.
Galo’s expression didn’t let up. Eyes bore into Lio’s, looking for an answer while waiting for one to be voiced. They were sad eyes, eyes that didn’t reflect the gentle smile he offered. Eyes that didn’t match the joyful and theatrical way he spoke to Aina and the rest of his team.
They were tired, just like Lio’s. “Hey, I won’t push it. Talk to me when you’re ready, okay?” Galo let go. “I’ll be here.”
Lio stopped himself from chasing the warmth. He didn’t say anything the rest of the day.
The nights were impossibly quiet. He could only just barely remember what it was like with the voices in his ear, itching to burn, but it was like trying to remember an old dream. Lio struggled to recall the voices of the Promare so he wouldn’t suffer in a deafening silence, but every time he did, he instead heard the screams of the Burnish from those years, those months, that day . He felt a prick behind his eyes. Too tired, maybe. When he rubbed at them, tears began to fall and they didn’t stop. He kept wiping at his face until his eyes became raw and stung.
Lio sat up from the bed he tossed and turned in. It was too loud and too quiet all at the same time. He shivered but was too hot. He was exhausted but wanted to run. And when he realized he couldn’t breathe, he cried even more. Lio clutched at the sheets, seeking some sort of relief from his tightening chest. The burning feeling was back. He looked around and saw the room the Burning Rescue team offered him as their efforts moved to restoration, but instead of feeling at ease, his body felt the power of that machine ripping the Promare from his body.
I just need to open a window , he thought. Blinking away the blurriness, he scrambled to reach the windowsill only to get tangled in the many blankets he needed and wasn’t used to, falling to the floor with a resounding thud.
The sound of Galo’s frantic footsteps followed. The door slammed open and Lio winced from the noise and the shame of being unable to hide his reddened face and swollen eyes in the dead of night. He assumed Galo to be a heavy sleeper, but maybe these days Galo slept little, too.
“Lio!” Galo breathed. He rushed to his side with the same urgency and caution any firefighter would to a victim. Lio tried to bat him away, arms suddenly heavy as lead. Galo’s hand rested on Lio’s back and just like that, the scorching of Kray’s machine began to dwindle. Lio tried to recover in frenzied, shallow breaths, still suffocating in the heat of his own memories. He clutched at his neck to tell Galo he couldn’t breathe, that he was dying all over again.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Galo repeated, trying to get Lio to focus on him. Lio looked everywhere but Galo’s face. He couldn’t. The once leader of Mad Burnish reduced to a bumbling mess on a bedroom floor because he didn’t understand why he kept dying when he knew he was safe.
“Lio, hey.”
Lio resisted. He just wanted Galo to open a window or something.
“Lio, look at me.”
He keened, scratching at his own throat. Why wasn’t Galo helping him? He just wanted this to stop now.
“Lio, please…”
That soft, pleading tone again. It made him feel so guilty. He dug his nails into his own skin. If Galo couldn’t stop it, maybe he could rip the pain away himself.
Every nerve fired off signals from Lio’s brain as he struggled against Galo’s hold until Lio felt those warm hands on his face.
Galo’s lips met Lio’s.
And everything stopped. The screaming, the pain, the burning. It all stopped.
Lio gasped, pulling away with wide eyes. Despite all his naked muscle, even with Lio’s struggling, Galo’s touch was gentle, kind and soft. Just like him .
“There we go,” Galo said with a victorious smile. “Now that I have your attention, breathe with me.”
This idiot…
Lio, still huffing through his mouth, looked down from Galo’s face to his chest and put a hand there, measuring the rise and fall from it. He tried to copy Galo and his breathing eventually fell in line. Lio looked back up at Galo with just his eyes, hiding his flush behind his fringe.
Instead of a wide grin, he was met with one that was slight and patient. It made Lio feel safe. He remembered Galo saved him then, too. Galo gently moved his thumbs beneath Lio’s eyes, wiping the tear marks from his face.
He didn’t mean to, but his thoughts stuttered out of him. “I- I can’t sleep. I don’t hear the voices anymore but I hear all the screaming. It takes me back there to where-,” his breath hitched.
Galo helped Lio, still unsteady, to his feet and guided them to sit together at the edge of the bed. Lio continued, his voice raw. “Sometimes I’m back there and I can feel it happening all over again, and I’m furious and tired, and I just--,” he paused. Lio probably never said so many words at once, and Galo was being uncharacteristically quiet. But when Lio looked at him again, Galo had the same focused determination he saw when they met for the first time in battle. Galo was listening to every word.
It was silent for a long time until Galo uttered Lio’s name in a soft plea for him to continue.
And that was all it took for Lio to get lost again. This time he remembered Thyma. Her suffering should have ended when they rescued all the Burnish from Kray’s facility. Yet despite her soft pleas and all of Lio’s Burnish power, Lio couldn’t save her. He continued to hear her soft gasps echoing in the cave. His stomach turned.
Lio’s breath started to grow erratic again and Galo reached for his shoulder. Lio pulled away.
“That day, why did you save me?” Lio asked, his voice urgent and broken. It carried none of the fury or bite of the former Burnish. If Galo didn’t hold his breath just then, he wouldn’t have heard the question.
Galo huffed, half laughter and half hurt. “Why is that even a question?”
Lio thought silently to himself longer than he intended and hummed, settling for the non-answer. “I guess it doesn’t matter...” His voice trailed off.
Galo moved to press his forehead against Lio’s, cupping his face again. Lio didn’t pull away this time, closing his eyes and leaning into the warmth.
So sure and proud, Galo closed his eyes, too, radiating a warmth Lio didn’t know he needed. “It does matter. You matter. That’s why I saved you.”