Work Text:
Against Medical Advice
The door slammed hard against the wall, so hard that it dented the wall, as Sonny stormed into the team room alerting everyone to the fact that something had happened which had left their Texan displeased.
Jason glanced at Ray who shrugged his shoulders before both men left the safety of their cages just as Trent made a grab for Sonny to stop him from putting his fist into the brick wall that he had stormed towards. Something was not adding up given that when Sonny had left he had been heading over to check on Clay who was in the infirmary after a deep cut to his forearm from a knife wielding tango on their last spin up got infected and it was decided that he needed to remain there for intravenous antibiotics. It had not been long since Sonny had set off so either he had not made it to the infirmary or something had happened between him and Clay. Jason waited until Trent had managed to wrestle Sonny into a bear hug so that he did not cause himself any injuries before he moved in front of the angry Texan. “What or who pissed you off?” He asked wearily already wondering how many bottles of whiskey they would owe Eric to sort out whatever damage Sonny had done without him being in trouble.
“Blondie.” Sonny growled as he looked around at his brothers seeing that both Ray and Brock had moved to flank Jason.
“Spense is miserable Sonny, I would not take anything he said personally.” Brock immediately jumped to Clay’s defence as he had been with Trent when they had taken him to the infirmary after finding him in his cage looking like death warmed up. The kid had barely been lucid and he had a fever yet he had wrapped himself up in a blanket after somehow managing to make it to base and into his cage although neither of them knew how long he had been there. He had tried to leave Cerb with Clay but the doctor was not having a bar of Cerb being on the bed after all he had pitched one hell of a fit about Cerb even being in the infirmary.
Sonny growled as his hands formed fists again and tried half-heartedly to shrug himself out of Trent’s hold. “Kid signed himself AMA.”
“What?” Trent exploded as he let go of Sonny and moved round to stand in front of him wanting to confirm what he had just heard Sonny say so that there was absolutely no misunderstanding.
“I went to check on him and the bed was empty, all neat like. Spoke to the doc and the idiot signed himself out AMA almost three hours ago!” Sonny was pissed at Clay and at himself but mainly at himself as he should have trusted his gut and stayed with him instead of going to run a training module like they had, or someone should have stayed with him.
“Why weren’t we notified?” Jason asked as he rubbed his hand over the side of his neck understanding why Sonny was as mad as he was, and he knew it was because he had not wanted to leave Clay in the first place.
“More importantly, he should not be by himself.” Ray shook his head knowing that Jason had a point but the priority was finding Clay and getting him treated or at least making sure he was okay.
With Ray’s statement, the team looked towards Trent who looked just as angry as Sonny did but was controlling himself far better. “When I get my hands on him…” Trent shook his head as he cut himself from continuing to mutter. “We should have been notified and I will make sure that there is no mistake again on that fact. But Ray is right, we need to find him especially with how bad the infection is, and he was meant to stay overnight hooked up to an intravenous drip for the strongest antibiotics that could have been and were prescribed to him.” As mad as Trent was his concern far outweighed it.
“Could he have been disorientated enough from the infection, from the fever, to feel threatened or unsafe?” Jason asked wanting to try and find an answer to why Clay had signed himself out AMA and left base by himself when he was in no state to do either.
“The docs put him on a pretty potent cocktail of antibiotics, fluids and fever reducing analgesics which the kid is definitely not fond of at all. You know how he was before Manila but after, nope, he is even more stubborn about taking anything now.” Trent had agreed with the docs course of treatment as the infection was in Clay’s bloodstream and making him feel terrible.
Sonny cursed and paled at the mention of Manila, and once again found himself wishing that he had refused to leave Clay’s side or that they had gotten someone like Lisa or Mandy to sit with him until they had finished their training module.
“What?” Jason asked as he literally watched as the anger left Sonny making him wilt right in front of his eyes.
“We forgot.” Sonny’s words sounded hauntingly frightening and another round of looks were exchanged between the men before they all turned back to him.
“Forgot what?” Ray was the first one to ask although he was just as puzzled as the rest of them.
Sonny shook his head before he took off his cap and ran his fingers through his hair before he put his cap back on. “Manila… after it… he was all alone, the only person he had was… was Swanny.” He swallowed thickly having struggled with the words. “Goldilocks was all alone, kind of used to it, and he has no one else.”
“It is his first time back in a hospital bed since he was discharged, every other injury Trent has taken care of and if another doc has looked at him then he has not been admitted.” Brock winced at it dawned on him what Sonny had realised and he wished that they had realised sooner.
It was Jason’s turn to curse as he shook his head and tried to ignore the way his stomach turned just as it did whenever Manila was mentioned as the memories of that night flashed through his mind were beyond his control. There were still a lot of missing pieces as Swanny was no longer with them to tell them what went on but he also had not said much when he was alive, and Clay, well, he did not like to talk about it. “We better go find him, Trent go see the doc first and get whatever he needs.” There was no way in hell that they were not going to go and find him but they could at least be prepared. Trent did not need to be told twice as he was already out the door before Jason had even finished his sentence.
A thought struck Ray and it made the knot in his stomach tighten even more. “He better not have driven home.” They had no idea how the hell he had managed to drive to base in the first place but he was in no state to drive home.
Brock frowned at Ray’s comment but knew better than to say anything after his little incident of driving himself home after he had walked out of the infirmary without even signing out. “Trent will meet us in the parking lot.” He already had his phone out of his pocket and was texting Trent to let him know to meet them there as he headed for the door as Cerb was already walking beside him. After all, there was something they needed to check.
Sonny was next in line as he did not know whether he wanted to wrap Clay up in a hug or strangle him, or maybe it was a combination of both. What he did know was that next time (and there would be a next time in their line of work) there would be someone at Clay’s side the entire time he was laid up in a hospital bed, and if they had to handcuff him to a railing then so be it.
Ray went to follow after Sonny and Brock as someone needed to keep them all reigned in but he stopped as Jason reached out and placed his hand on his chest before he could go anywhere. “Jay?” Ray could see the worry that was plaguing Jason as he felt it too but he knew that Jason’s worry was slightly different to his.
Jason glanced towards the door before he looked back at Ray. “None of us even considered how alone Clay was, is, without us. We need to make sure that we never forgot that because this can’t happen again.” It was simple, take Bravo and all those they were connected to Bravo away, then Clay had no one as everyone he loved he had lost or they had left him, and the only other person was someone who only wanted to be around when it was for his own selfish gain which Bravo would not allow.
Ray knew that Jason would feel guilty for a while but for the moment they had to put their own guilt aside as they needed to find Clay and make sure he was okay. “We will make sure of it brother, and we will make sure Clay knows that he is not alone either. Right now, we need to find him first and make sure he is okay.” He had just finished speaking when his phone rung startling both men although neither would admit it.
Jason dropped his hand from Ray’s chest watching as his brother fumbled to pull his phone out of his pocket before he answered it.
“Hi baby.” Ray asked the phone seeing it was Naima calling him. “At base, why?” He asked and after a few seconds Ray clicked his fingers at Jason. “Stay there, we will fill you in when we get there.” With that Ray ended the call.
“What?” Jason asked having only heard only one side of the conversation and it was not often that Ray clicked his fingers like a madmen requiring attention at him.
“Naima is with Clay. She found him at his apartment.” Ray was glad that someone was with Clay but he had a lot of unasked and unanswered questions.
“Let’s go.” Jason could see that Ray was relieved like he was to know that someone was with Clay, and Naima was a nurse.
Ray did not need to be told twice as he fell into step with Jason as they made their way towards the parking lot to meet the rest of the team.
Against Medical Advice
Naima hummed softly as she made her way through the apartment block heading towards Clay’s as she had some things to drop off for him and she had picked up a few groceries as well as she knew he would not have anything in. She juggled RJ who was sleeping deeply in her arms along with the two bags she had looped over the crook of her elbow as she pulled her keys out and found the key for Clay’s apartment then let herself in.
Naima closed the door softly behind her and made her way over to the couch before she laid RJ down making sure he remained asleep then put a pillow down along the edge as a bumper to stop him rolling off onto the floor. She smoothed down her baby’s rambunctious curls before she straightened up and headed towards the kitchen but before she got there she noticed a haphazard pair of boots lying in the middle of the floor. She shook her head wondering how he had not managed to trip over them on his way out this morning as she continued into the kitchen and placed the bags down on the counter top then began unpacking them putting the groceries away before she took out the plate of cupcakes and cookies that she had helped Jameelah to bake along with the pictures that both kids had drawn after Ray had explained to them that Clay had hurt his arm when they had spotted the bandage and set them down on the counter top where he would see them.
A pained whimper caught Naima’s attention as it gave her a fright before she frowned and looked at RJ but he was still asleep and peacefully so. Another soft whimper sounded and Naima frowned before she followed the sound of the whimpers. “Clay.” She called softly before she had even reached his bedroom wondering what had gone wrong and why had Ray not called her to let her know that he had been sent home from base for the day although she did not recall seeing his car in his parking spot either. Her worry ramped up a notch as she stopped in the doorway of Clay’s bedroom seeing that it was indeed him that was whimpering as he was buried under a thick comforter.
Naima hesitated for a few moments before she stepped out of the room and called Ray but the short phone call did nothing to ease her way. She glared at her phone frustrated before she softened and tucked it back into her pocket, glimpsing at RJ again grateful that he was still asleep before she turned back to Clay. “Clay.” Naima called softly as she made her way over to the side of his bed seeing that the comforter was tucked right up to his chin but what was more alarming was how flushed he was yet how pale he was and his blonde curls were stuck to his forehead. “Clay, come on, I need you to wake up.” She reached out and very gently squeezed his shoulder as she spoke so as not to startle him. “Come on Clay, I need you to wake up for me, show me those blue eyes of yours”.
Clay groaned and exhaled harshly as he wanted whoever it was to stop squeezing his shoulder as all he wanted was to snuggle down further into his bed but suddenly his hearing returned and he realised that it was Naima who was calling his name in that motherly tone that she used when she was worried. “Hmmm… Naima…” He forced his eyelids to open although they felt so heavy and he had to blink a few more times before the blurriness cleared.
“Hi Clay.” Naima crouched down so she was at his eye level as she was concerned by his grogginess. She moved her hand from his shoulder to his forehead and palmed it, wincing at how hot he felt. “What to tell me what is going on?” She asked softly as she brushed the matted sweat drenched curls off of his forehead before she very gently untangled the comforter from him which he did not like if the whine that left his lips was anything to go by.
Clay shivered at how cold he suddenly felt as Naima pushed the comforter down to his hips seeing that even his t-shirt was sticking to him as it was soaked in sweat.
“Clay, hey, you have to talk to me honey.” The tear of endearment slipped from her lips but she did not mind as there was something about Clay that made her maternal side come out.
“Huh?” Clay paused and licked his lips feeling as Naima’s hand once again found its way back to his forehead and she let his thumb ran over the bridge of his nose knowing how well it worked on Jameelah and RJ when they weren’t feeling well. “Uh, infection… doc gave me antibiotics.” He struggled recalling what the doctor gave him knowing that there was a white prescription bag lying around somewhere.
Naima frowned as her mind catalogued through her medical training. “You have a fever honey, let’s get you sitting up and out of that damp shirt.”
“Noooo.” Clay whined as he just wanted to stay where he was in his bed.
Naima smiled fondly at Clay’s weak protest as she recalled Ray saying how vulnerable and childlike Clay got when he was sick but she had never seen it herself. “Yes. Come on.” She managed to pull him up although it was not the easiest task given that he was solid muscle. She shook her head at the case of bedhead that he had before she ignored his protests as she ordered him to lift up his arms and stripped the damp t-shirt off of him before she dropped it down onto his soaked bedsheets. She gently placed her hand on top of his bandaged arm and could feel the heat that was radiating from under it. Definitely infected, Naima thought woefully.
Clay squinted as he looked at Naima wondering what she was doing in his apartment but he was too tired to ask and he felt too sick to care because he knew he was safe. He swallowed thickly before he licked at his dry lips again feeling more parched than he could recall having felt for a long time.
Naima reached out and very gently pinched the skin on the back of his hand which told her pretty conclusively that he was badly dehydrated which was understandable with the raging fever he had. “You stay right there. I am going to get you something to drink.” She knew that Clay kept rehydration solution stocked in his kitchen and she wanted to get that into a bottle of water and into him as quickly as possible. She hesitated to leave him but she had no choice plus she needed to check on RJ again.
Clay watched through his blurred vision as Naima left the room and he let himself fall sideways back down into the comfort of his bed before he blindly reached out and tugged the comforter up around him again as he was freezing, letting his eyelids close once more.
Naima let out an exasperated breath as she walked back into Clay’s bedroom seeing that he had curled himself back under the comforter as she shook up the bottle of water that she had dumped a sachet of rehydration solution into. She knelt down next to the bed again once again letting her hand palm his forehead as he managed to look at her. “Drink this, slow sips though.” She handed him the bottle grateful that it had a pop top which was something that Ray had told her was better once, and she was glad when he took it and began drinking from it. There was not a lot she could do except watch over him while she waited as she was sure that Ray would bring the whole team with him which would include Trent and his medical kit.
“How long have you been feeling this sick?” Naima asked hoping to try and get a timeframe in between sips that he took once he was halfway through the bottle.
Clay pushed the bottle away after he had pushed the top closed and let it fall down onto the mattress beside him. He licked his lips catching the lingering drops of moisture on them. “Started feeling bad last night, got worse this morning.” He was not sure of the time but he figured it was still the same day; presumably he had not slept through the night although he could not be absolutely sure.
“Why didn’t you call someone Clay?” Naima asked softly knowing she had to tread carefully because sometimes it still did not register to Clay that he had people who loved and cared for him, and who would take care of him if need be, but she knew it was not his fault instead it was a behaviour that had been engrained in him from a young age that he sometimes fell back on inadvertently.
“Better question is why did he sign himself out of the base infirmary AMA?” Jason’s voice beckoned attention and Naima startled violently as she had not heard him or anyone else enter the apartment.
Clay managed to shift his eyes over to where Jason was stood just a foot or so from the end of his bed although he had a hard time focusing on him before the rest of his brothers appeared blearily around him. “Couldn’t stay there.” He mumbled feverishly as he turned back to Naima doing his upmost to focus on her.
“Okay, it’s okay. We can figure that all out later.” Naima soothed him as she sent a scathing look Jason’s way telling him to back off although she knew he was just as worried as she felt.
Trent stepped forward and shrugged his pack off as he stopped beside Naima and joined her in crouching down on the floor next to the bed. Clay looked even worse than when they had left him at the infirmary in the capable hands of the medical staff, or at least what he had thought were capable hands yet they had failed to corral him or notify any of them. “Doc said they managed to give him a bag with a prescribed course of antibiotics, see if you can find it.” Trent did not care who found it just that they did as he rifled through his kit knowing that the doctor had given him a couple of bags of the intravenous antibiotics to get him started back on as he was adamant about him having those.
“Give me a pair of gloves, I will help you get a cannula back into him. He’s badly dehydrated. And the bedding is going to have to be changed as it is soaked through.” Naima held out her hand for a pair of gloves having seen what Trent was pulling from his bag, and at the mention of Clay being dehydrated he pulled out a bag of fluids to hang alongside the antibiotics as well as a banana bag which was a bag of intravenous fluids that contained several vitamins and minerals. She assumed that he had already had a cannula and intravenous drip in him while he was at the infirmary.
“Is this what you are looking for?” Brock walked into the bedroom with the white paper bag that held the prescription bottle of antibiotics in it having found it down on the floor next to the table where Clay’s keys were although even those were haphazardly lying on the edge of it.
Trent barely glanced over his shoulder as he and Naima worked to get a cannula into Clay’s forearm and the fluids running, and he really was grateful for the second set of skilled hands. “Yeah, he will have to start on those tomorrow. Doc recommends getting a few more of the intravenous antibiotics into him first.”
“I will put them in the kitchen.” Brock ducked out although he was grateful that he could not see what Trent and Naima were doing.
Trent had spoken at length with the doctor who had treated Clay at the infirmary and he explained that he had debrided and cleaned the infected cut then redressed it all without pain medication as Clay had refused it resolutely. “Let’s just leave him to rest for a while before we worry about the bedding.” Trent decided as Clay looked truly awful as he injected a high dose of fever reducing analgesics into the intravenous port knowing he would not like it but he needed it as his temperature was getting close to being considered dangerously high.
Naima looked at Jason and Sonny who both had equally angry yet concerned expressions on their faces while Ray looked worried. “We will be right outside, okay Clay?” She kept her voice soft as she stripped off her gloves earning herself a tired nod from him in response. It was enough for her before she stood up and shepherded the men out of Clay’s bedroom watching as Cerb darted past her and settled himself at the end of the bed before she pulled the door partially closed behind her so they could still hear him but their voices would be obscured partially.
“How did you know he was here?” Sonny asked still glancing towards the partially closed bedroom door every few seconds.
“I didn’t, I just came to drop off some baking and drawings that the kids did for him after Ray told them he had gotten hurt.” Naima answered seeing the small smiles that tugged at the men’s faces as they all knew how much the kids loved Clay and he loved them. “Now what is this about him signing out AMA?” She asked wanting more information on that because she could only imagine how well that would have gone down with the men, and from the looks of it they still were displeased although it was understandable given the state he was in.
“Trent and I found him this morning huddled up in his cage, took him over to the infirmary and they admitted him to treat the infection that is raging.” Brock explained clearly knowing that if someone did not explain then Naima would be pissed.
“We had a mandatory training module so we left him there while he got treated but when Sonny went to check on him once we had finished he had learned that he signed out AMA. We weren’t notified love.” Ray tried to soothe things over as his wife did not look happy at all.
Naima sighed and shook her head. “You left him alone, feverish, in pain, in a hospital bed, and did not think to call anyone to come and sit with him.” She glared at each one of them watching as they began to squirm under her gaze. Oh yeah, they knew they had made a mistake, Naima thought.
The men felt thoroughly chastised by Naima and she had not even raised her voice as they had already worked out what they had done wrong although it took them far longer than it had taken her.
“Love, we know what we did wrong.” Ray placated his wife. “We know we should have called you or Lisa or Mandy to sit with him until we had finished.”
Naima sighed unimpressed with her husband’s placation before her eyes found their way to RJ who had managed to cuddle into the edge of the pillow as he continued to nap peacefully. She found a sadness wash over her as she looked at her own son.
“Naima?” Brock could not decipher the expression that came over Naima’s face as he softly called out her name before he followed her line of sight over to RJ.
Naima sighed softly before she returned her eyes to the men. “You have to be patient with him, you know that, and you are.” Her eyes once again found their way to her son. “But you all know that he is used to being alone, that it is engrained in him. We have to make sure that he isn’t even when he wants to be.” She paused again and swallowed thickly to keep the emotions that bubbling within her at bay. “He wasn’t raised like you all were, wasn’t raised like we have raised our kids. He falls back on old behaviour at times which is not his fault because he tries really hard not too. And Manila was a setback even though Swanny was with him, and before you say anything I know none of it could be helped. But I would also hazard a guess that being back in a hospital bed would have bought up a lot of those insecurities and memories too.”
There were several winces, grimaces and shifting from foot to foot exhibited from the men but what Naima had said was not meant to make them feel bad but rather to make them realise that Clay did not mean to revert back to old behaviours or that he did it to purposefully hurt them as she knew they were hurt when he did revert back to such behaviour.
“We will still be talking to him once he is lucid.” Jason was not going to relent on that point.
“I’ll tackle and hog tie him if I have too.” Sonny growled although they knew it was because he cared, and that he would not do it.
“Get in line, we will all be talking to him.” Trent’s primary concern was Clay’s health but he still was not happy that he had risked his health by not staying at the infirmary to get treated however none of them really knew what Clay went through after Manila while in the hospital except for small bits and pieces that he had let slip on occasion. Either way, Trent knew that Manila had left a lot more than just physical scars on Clay, and on them all.
Naima smiled and nodded. “Oh, I know you will talk to him.” She loved how protective and paternal Jason could be when it came to Clay. “But just keep what I said in mind Jason, all of you need to remember that none of you are good at being laid up in a hospital bed.”
Ray managed to stifle his smirk as Jason relented but then again he would relent to his own wife to as she was a force to be reckoned with.
Naima smiled knowing that it was almost time to pick Jameelah up from school so she picked up her bag then moved over to RJ and scooped him up into her arms knowing he was getting to big to be carried but she was holding onto it for as long as she could as he was still her baby. “I am going to pick Jameelah up from school, let me know how Clay is doing later.” She moved towards the door once Ray had given her and RJ a kiss both as she knew not to expect him home for dinner or maybe even not for the night but she never begrudged him for being with his brothers. She stopped and turned to Sonny who she could see was inching back towards Clay’s bedroom. “Sonny.” Her tone was reprimanding and it made him pause.
Sonny had the grace to look like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Yes Ma’am?” He turned on his Texan charm even though he knew it would not work with Naima at all.
“Do not wake him up, no loud noises, no tugging at his comforter, nothing that forces him to wake up. Understand?” Naima knew that Sonny would be deliberately loud to try and wake Clay up but he needed to rest.
“Understood.” Sonny knew Naima’s wrath and he did not want to be on the end of it so he made his way over to the couch and slumped down. Naima nodded before she let herself out because if she did not leave now then she would be late to pick up Jameelah from school.
Against Medical Advice
The rustling of the comforter caught everyone’s attention from where they were sat around in Clay’s lounge. They had all peeked into the bedroom to check on Clay from time to time, and Trent had swapped out the bags of fluids and antibiotics once the first set had drained into him, as well as given him another injectable dose of the fever reducing analgesic that the doctor had prescribed.
Jason pushed himself to his feet and moved towards the bedroom seeing that Clay was slowly pushing himself up while Cerb remained at the end of the bed keeping a close eye on him. “Hi sunshine.” Jason kept his voice soft as he made his way over to Clay.
Clay’s forehead wrinkled as it took a few seconds for his eyes to focus on Jason. “Jase?” The confusion that laced his hoarse voice did not go unmissed.
Jason crouched down next to Clay concerned at how confused he sounded but he was relieved to see that he was not looking as flushed nor was he drenched in sweat. “Yeah kid, we are all here. How are you feeling?” He asked seeing the moment Clay noticed that he had an I.V back in although he made no effort to try and remove it just as he placed his hand on Clay’s forehead feeling that the heat was not radiating off of him as badly as it had been earlier. Jason smiled softly as Clay leaned into his touch for a few moments until he pulled his hand back.
Clay raised his hand up and pushed his matted curls off of his forehead hating how sticky his skin felt but it was taking a minute to catch up as he was sure that Naima had been the one to wake him up earlier. He screwed up his nose as he dropped his hand back down to his lap. “Going to shower.” It was not a question but a statement although he almost expected some sort of disagreement from Jason.
Jason sighed softly seeing that Clay was not willing to talk to them just yet but he did understand his desire to have a shower and he was not going to stop him. “Fair call, hopefully it will make you feel a little better. Just don’t make it to hot.” He relented as he stood up and held out a hand to Clay to help him up as he still looked shaky after he made sure that he had the intravenous bags held in his free hand.
Clay was slightly surprised but he was not about to argue it instead he took Jason’s hand and let him help him up as his legs were shaking slightly. “Jase, was… was Naima here?” He asked wanting confirmation that it was not some fever induced delusion as he let Jason help him to the bathroom.
“Yeah, she was sunshine. She stayed with you until we got here but she had to go and get Jameelah from school. Go have a shower, and keep that I.V in.” The last sentence sounded a lot like an order but Jason wanted to make sure that the antibiotics and fluids kept flowing into him as he definitely needed them.
“Okay.” Clay’s voice was still hoarse as he let go of Jason as they reached the bathroom although he had to admit that even the short walk had left him exhausted.
“I will make you some toast as you need to eat something.” Jason waited until the bathroom door was closed before he left the bedroom hearing as the water turned on. “He’s showering.” It was redundant to say but he still did.
“He lucid?” Trent asked not surprised that Clay was desperate for a shower as he had been soaked in sweat from the fever bought on by the infection that was still raging within him.
Jason walked into the kitchen having already checked out how stocked the fridge and cupboards were earlier. “Yeah, a little confused at first. He asked if Naima was here earlier. But the fever is down.” He answered as he opened the fridge and pulled out the loaf of bread and some butter hoping that they could get Clay to eat something and toast was better than nothing especially if he was nauseous even though he had not stated that he was.
“Is the I.V still in?” Trent asked hoping like hell it was.
“Yeah, made it an order.” Jason answered as he put two pieces of bread into the toaster and slid them down so they started to cook.
“You going to talk to him boss?” Brock asked wanting to know how Jason wanted to handle it.
Jason looked over at Brock and sighed before he looked around at the rest of them, and he could see that Sonny was still itching to reprimand Clay about signing out of the hospital AMA but he had to be reined in. “Let him have something to eat and drink then Trent will check him over before we will talk to him.” He decided knowing that the sooner they addressed it then the sooner they would feel better but more importantly they wanted Clay to know that he had them or rather remind him of that.
The sound of the shower turning off ended the conversation abruptly and they could hear Clay shuffling around in his bedroom which had them all a little anxious as he sounded unsteady on his feet but they also knew that Cerb would alert them with a bark if anything happened.
It was a few minutes after that Clay managed to make it to the doorway of the bedroom but he stopped and lent against the doorframe as he was exhausted as moving around and showering had left him fatigued as Cerb let out a soft whine and nudged his head into his leg.
Brock smiled to cover up the worry he felt as he was the first one off of the couch and making his way over to Clay. “Hey there Spense, let’s get you sitting down brother.” Brock wrapped his hand around Clay’s elbow as his other hand reached down and took the two bags from his other hand as he was holding them loosely and he held them up so they were flowing properly once more.
Clay grumbled and pushed himself up from the doorframe before he shuffled his way over to the couch wanting nothing more than to go back to bed but he knew he would not be allowed.
“Eat this kid.” Jason placed the plate of lightly buttered toast down in his lap within seconds of him being seated as eating would do him some good and sat a glass of water down on the coffee table in front of him. “Once you have finished Trent is going to check you out again.”
Clay nodded tiredly and began to pick at the toast, pulling it apart into pieces before nibbling on it as he really was not that hungry but he knew if he did not eat then it would only concern everyone even more. “How long have you been here?” He asked in between small pieces of toast as he was struggling to get through the first piece.
“A few hours.” Ray made sure to keep his tone neutral despite the fact that his worry increased as he watched what a mammoth effort it appeared to be for Clay to get through the first piece of toast even in between several small sips of water.
Clay finished the first piece of toast before he put the plate with the second piece on the table then finished off the glass of water before he leaned back into the couch cushions and let his eyelids flutter closed as he felt worse than he had minutes ago.
“Had enough?” Jason looked at Trent as he asked not pleased that Clay’s appetite had practically vanished but Trent did not look to concerned.
“Yeah.” Clay answered tiredly before he exhaled softly and inhaled, breathing deeply, as if he was trying to breathe through some sort of pain or discomfort.
Trent moved forward, moved the plate and empty glass to the side before he sat down on the coffee table in front of Clay knowing that he looked better than he had when he and Brock had first found him but he still looked really unwell. “Clay, how are you feeling?” His tone left no room for Clay to answer without being completely honest and leaving no details out.
Clay for his part hummed and hawed for a few moments with his eyelids firmly closed as he continued to inhale and exhale steadily even though he knew Trent and the rest of the team were waiting for an answer from him. “Better…” He finally settled on as he did feel a little better.
“Want to elaborate brother?” Ray bet Trent to asking as he could see the medic was unimpressed with Clay’s short winded answer. “We get that you feel better than you did this morning but we still need to know how you are actually feeling. What symptoms are you still having?”
Clay forced his eyelids to open and he met Trent’s eyes once he saw Jason hovering over his shoulder anxiously. “Sorry…” He paused and swallowed as he recalled leaving the infirmary or rather signing himself out AMA but in his defence he was feverish and not thinking very clearly.
It was the opening that they all needed but somehow hearing Clay apologise made them all feel terrible, well with the exception of Sonny whose concern was still clear. “Yeah, what are you sorry for?” Sonny asked as he lent forward with his elbows resting down on his knees.
Clay glanced up and over at Sonny before he let his eyes drop to his lap again feeling and looking like a scolded child even though he had not yet been.
Jason moved around the table and nudged Trent over earning a disgruntled grunt from the medic as he sat himself down on the coffee table in front of Clay. “Hey kid.” He waited until there was at least some recognition from Clay as he flicked his eyes up at him before he looked back down. “You have got to talk to us, tell us what is going on in that big brain of yours. Talk to us about why you left the hospital but first you have to tell us how you are feeling right now.” He spared a glance at Trent using the last sentence to pacify the medic.
Clay hunched forward having to move his arm as the infected wound was aching more than he wanted to admit as he swallowed thickly trying to sort his thoughts into some sort of order but he was not having much luck. “I don’t know.” And his words were punctuated with a slight shrug of his shoulders before he raised his hand and swiped it over his face feeling how clammy he felt.
Brock could see the struggle that his brothers were having with Clay’s answers or rather his lack of answers, and the body language that he was exhibiting, and Brock had to admit that it was concerning to him too. “Spense, what don’t you know? Don’t know how you feel or don’t know what it is that you are thinking?” He asked hoping for some sort of elaboration of what it was that Clay did not know.
Clay’s breath hitched violently and it made him hunch over more as all he wanted to do was curl up under a blanket and pretend that nothing was happening. He knew it was a petulant thing to do but he did not have the energy however he knew it was not going to happen. “I couldn’t stay there.” His eyelids snapped shut at the confession feeling like he was weak.
Jason shuffled forward and somehow managed to contort himself down into the space on the floor between the coffee table and Clay so that he could see him as he still had his head dipped down. The fact that Clay ignored the question on how he was feeling did not go unnoticed. “Why couldn’t you stay at the infirmary?” Somehow the worry managed to increase while the anger left him completely as he used the softest voice he had to ask as he hoped it would propel him to talk.
Ray was standing back observing despite how much he wanted to be at the forefront however standing back allowed him to watch his brothers more closely, and more importantly Clay. “We are just trying to help brother so we can make things better for you.”
“I know.” Clay snapped although there was no fire in his voice. “I know.” He repeated although his voice sounded far more shakier than it had just a few seconds before. He did know that his brothers were trying to help him but it was hard to explain. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He shook his head as he trailed off.
“It’s okay Clay.” Ray was quick to pacify Clay hating that he felt the need to apologise.
Clay squirmed for a few seconds before he palmed his head as it felt heavier than usual and he blew out a breath as he felt hot. “It’s hot.”
“I am going to get you some more water Clay.” Ray picked up the empty glass from the table and made his way into the kitchen refilling the glass before he returned to the lounge and held it out for Clay to take but instead Jason took it from him.
“Here, drink this Clay.” Jason held the glass of water out to Clay practically having to put it in his shaking hand before he managed to take it and take a few small sips. It was not hot at all in Clay’s apartment instead it was pretty nice, comfortable even.
Clay took a few sips before he rested the glass back down on his knee letting Jason take it back from him. “I panicked, I think, with the fever and I, I couldn’t stay there.” The softly spoken admission was not one he wanted to make but he knew that he had too. It was a really hard admission to make for Clay but he knew his brothers would not hold it against him.
Trent leaned forward, reaching out and placing his hand on Jason’s shoulder as he had seen him tense at Clay’s admission. “What made you panic about being in the infirmary?” Trent asked because Clay had not seemed to have a problem with going to the infirmary before but then again he had not had to be admitted or had been left on his own since Manila.
Clay shrugged his shoulders as he wanted to avoid answering the question.
“Clay…” Trent’s tone hardened a little more than he meant it to as he wanted an answer.
Brock shifted as Cerb somehow managed to get himself up on the couch, fit himself in the small gap between them, and draped his head down on Clay’s thigh which made him smile. It felt like a gloomy storm had descended upon them as none of them wanted to explicitly talk about Manila but it seemed like they needed to, it was just a matter of who would bring it up. Brock took a look around the room at the rest of his brothers before he decided to rip the figurative Band-Aid off. “Spense, we know we weren’t here with you when you were laid up… after Manila.” Brock swallowed thickly as they all hated the mere mention of Manila and the bomb that almost cost their little brother his life as the memories were still just as vivid as if they were still there. “And we would have given anything to be.” It felt important to reiterate that.
“No.” Clay was already shaking his head as he definitely did not want to talk about Manila.
Brock knew he had to push forward, he was just unsure of how to as he could already see that Clay was shutting down on them which was the last thing he or any of them wanted. “And we know that Swanny was with you when we could not be.” He stopped as Clay continued to shake his head. “Spense, I am not trying to make you feel bad or make you remember that hard, that horrible, time, but the last thing any of us want is for you to feel like you cannot get treatment.”
Clay’s cheeks flushed a little bit more although he would attribute it to the fever if he was called out on it. “I said I panicked, can’t that be enough.” His voice was a little bit sharper than he intended it to be but he felt cornered.
Jason leaned forward from where he was sat before he reached out and tapped the back of his hand against his knee being careful not to jostle him too much. “We aren’t trying to embarrass you kid. We just want to help because we hate to see you in pain and unwell just like you don’t like for us in the same way kid.” He had softened his voice even more hoping that it would propel Clay to listen and understand that they were trying to help him.
Clay’s shoulders dropped after a few moments of deliberation as he exhaled softly. “I know. It’s just… I didn’t… It’s hard to explain.” He stumbled over his words leaving a series of incomplete sentences.
“Try us Clay.” Trent prompted hoping it would get him talking.
“We are here blondie and we ain’t going anywhere.” Sonny interjected forcefully needing Clay to understand that he was not alone but the damage from the aftermath of Manila still lingered at times.
Clay shuffled in his seat feeling as Cerb nudged him until he began to pat him letting himself use Cerb to ground him. “I woke up alone and it was disorientating. I couldn’t stay there, I don’t know, I just couldn’t.” He really did not have all the answers but what he did know was that the conversation was draining him faster than the infection that was raging in his body. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have left.” He could see the worry that his brothers were exhibiting, and knew he was the cause of it… again.
“Okay Clay, okay.” Trent could see the stress rising in Clay along with the exhaustion, and the last thing he wanted was for him to feel worse as he was still pale and clammy looking. There was a quick look sent around the guys that signalled that it was enough for now as they had pushed Clay far enough. “Have some more water and then you can go back to bed if you want.” It was easy to see that he was feeling terrible.
Clay raised his trembling hand up and ran it through his sweat drenched hair before he let his eyelids flutter closed as he nodded tiredly. “Yeah.” His voice was hoarse sounding and he just wanted to be left alone but he knew it was not going to happen.
“Here, finish this.” Jason handed the glass of water back to Clay who took it blindly and gulped it down before he took the glass back. “Come on kid, let’s get you back into bed.” He stood up prepared to get their kid back to bed and grabbed the two intravenous bags that were still dripping into him.
Clay forced his eyelids to open again even though he was comfortable on the couch knowing he could not stay where he was and with a heaved sigh he pushed himself up onto his unsteady feet not even bothering to try and avoid the way Jason reached out to steady him. He shuffled through with Jason at his side grateful for the helping hand.
Jason let Clay go only once they had reached the edge of the bed and watched as he practically crawled into his bed and pulled the comforter up and over him before he had even laid down. Jason wedged the fluid and antibiotic bags on the headboard so that they would continue to flow before he crouched down as Clay finally got comfortable lying on his side facing him. Jason reached out and pressed his hand against Clay’s forehead once more feeling the lingering fever that was still raging through him before he pushed the damp curls off of his forehead. “You are not alone kid, and you are never going to be.”
Clay managed to snake his hand out from underneath the comforter and clutched Jason’s sleeve in his trembling hand. “I forget sometimes Jase.” It was a terribly sad admission from Clay but it was the truth as he knew he reverted back to old engrained behaviour at times despite how hard he fought against those old instincts.
Jason felt that paternal feeling bubble up inside of him once more although if he was honest with himself then he would admit that it never really left him when it came to Clay. “I know, and I know you don’t mean too.” He paused considering his next words. “When we found out you weren’t where we left you in the infirmary and that you had signed yourself out against medical advice… well we panicked ourselves because we know how unwell you are and we never want you to be alone Clay. We made a mistake and we should not have left you alone, that won’t happen again because I will make sure of it, but you need to remember that it is okay not to be okay with being alone especially not when you are sick or injured.”
“Okay.” Clay could not help the soft smile that tugged at his lips despite how tired he felt but he was smiling because it was nice to be reminded that he did not have to be alone anymore, that he had a family who would be there for him, not because there was a sense of obligation but because they wanted to be.
“Okay.” Jason agreed with ease feeling as though he finally got through to Clay although he also knew it would not be that easy and there were times when he would still fall back on those old habits but they would continue to work on them. “Get some sleep. One, some, or all of us will be around.”
Clay nodded before he felt as Cerb jumped onto the bed and curled up beside him although he missed the soft touch of Jason’s hand as it left his forehead. It did not take long for Clay to let himself relax and he drifted off into a peaceful sleep knowing his brothers were around and that he was not alone, that he would never be alone.