Work Text:
“Yeah, mom everything is fine down here.” Arizona smiled while helping Sofia tie her shoes.
It was a normal weekday like any other.
“Oh, good!” Arizona held her phone between her shoulder and ear as she placed Sofia onto the ground. The little girl instinctively grabbed her backpack. “Well, your father and I have a surprise for you!”
Arizona rolled her eyes. Was it another cute outfit being sent her way for Sofia? “Mom, I already told you, Sofia has enough-“
“We’re visiting tomorrow! We never got to see your new house with Callie!”
Arizona froze. “What?” Her breath stopped, all movements continuing to cease as the news repeatedly rang in her ear.
“Well, we figured since we’ve been traveling for vacation that we make a pit stop your way! We haven’t seen our Callie for quite some time now! And our little princess has gotten SO big and I miss those little cheeks.” She sang. She internally smirks, thinking of the recent picture she sent her parents of Sofia’s cheeks full and stuffed with watermelon.
“Actually, Callie’s been very busy. She’s, uh, working on this new project so I don’t think you’d really see her-“
“Oh, nonsense! We’ll work something out!”
“Mom, really, now isn’t a good time.”
“We’ll be there around noon. Bye sweetie, love you!”
As the line went dead, all Arizona could do was stand in shock. What was she going to do? For over two years, excuses of why Callie hasn’t accompanied her to annual visits to her parents worked, they stuck. She was able to place a smile on her face and act like everything was okay for so long, she didn’t think it would come back to bite her in the ass.
What the hell was she going to do?
“Come on mama!” Sofia pulled on one of her frozen limbs impatiently.
Arizona shook her head along with some of her nerves and left the house with her daughter in tow.
“You what?!” Callie yelled.
Arizona had pulled Callie aside minutes ago into an on call room. Callie was wary, the nervous look in Arizona’s eyes and the stiffness to her posture out of character for the blonde surgeon. She was always confident, shoulders high with a proud smile, super magic smile on her face.
Arizona avoided Callie’s wide eyes, shrugging as she said, “I never told my parents we were divorced.”
Neither of them said anything the few moments that followed. Callie rolled her lips with her hands on her hips, the tension continuously rising between them.
“W-why? Why didn’t you tell them? You visited them after we split, what? About four, five times? You didn’t think once to tell them then?” She was nearly shaking, Callie’s hands balled in fists and a deep line set in her forehead. Arizona wanted to reach out and hold her hand, to let her know how sorry she was. The words were lost on her lips.
“I-“
“Oh my god, they’re going to be devastated. Poor Barbara.” She grabbed Arizona’s shoulders and shook them. “Your dad is going to kill me, isn’t he?”
Arizona slipped out of Callie’s hold. “You see, that’s the problem.” She took a step back, afraid of what Callie’s reaction was going to be to her next statement. “I don’t plan on telling them when they arrive. That we’re divorced, I mean.”
A beat of silence.
“Ha!” Callie began to laugh, head thrown back with an exaggerated swing of her ponytail. Her feet started to pace about the small, enclosed space, Spanish flying from her mouth. The blonde could only watch her ex, unsure if trying to calm her down was the best thing to do.
“You have to be kidding.” Callie spun around with a hand pointed directly at Arizona’s face. “Are you serious?”
Arizona swatted Callie’s hand away. “I’m completely serious, Callie.” She put her hands over her face and released a shaky breath. She brushed past the still fuming woman and took a seat on one of the vacant beds available. With pale hands still covering her face, Arizona failed to notice the dip in the bed when Callie sat next to her.
“Why didn’t you tell your parents?” her voice was soft and full of worry. The warmth of Callie’s body being so close sending shivers down Arizona’s spine. She could feel the burn in her eyes when tears spilled over her fingers. Her chest felt tight, the sudden flood of emotions attacking her overwhelming.
“Hey, hey,” she felt Callie’s arms wrap around her, the touch comforting and familiar. “Just talk to me.”
Arizona restrained the urge to bury her face into the crook of Callie’s neck, to feel safe and sound. She wasn’t sure what it was about Callie’s gesture, but it scared her. There were many reasons why she hadn’t told her parents of their split. At first, it was the belief that her and Callie would get back together, that Callie would have realized that they belonged together. When six months passed and no sign of Callie returning was apparent, she didn’t know what the excuse was anymore.
If she told her parents they were divorced it would be real. If she told her parents, it would be a clarification of another tragedy that happened in her life, their lives.
But she couldn’t tell Callie that. She couldn’t tell her that for over two years, though she tried to move on, there was still this piece inside of her that had hope they would reunite, that they would somehow find their way back to one another.
So, she decided to stretch the truth, just a bit. “My parents, they’ve lost so much. They lost their son, they almost lost me. I just…I don’t want to add more sadness onto their plate. I don’t want them to suffer…” she wiped under her eyes and moved over to distance herself from Callie. She needed to cool air that Callie didn’t bring, needed the space to hopefully help clear her head.
Arizona’s shoulders visibly rose as she took a deep breath.“I just need a few days. That’s it. All I’m asking is for you to give me a few days.” She pleaded.
Callie’s eyes were saddened by Arizona’s words and she reached out a hand to rub up and down her arm smoothly. “What exactly do you need me to do?”
Arizona took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “I need you to act like you’re my wife for the next couple of days while my parents are in town.”
Callie held the two glasses of wine in her hands, the candle burning leaving the wonderful scent of vanilla in the lamp lit bedroom. Her girlfriend had beat her home, surprisingly for once, and she lay in her bed with her scrubs still on. Setting the glasses onto the side table, Callie nuzzled her nose into Penny’s neck. She grinned and watched as a smile formed on the red head’s face, and she was hoping that after this conversation, that smile would still be there.
“Hey, you’re back,” Penny rubbed her eyes and sat up with a lazy smile. “What’s up?”
Callie didn’t hesitate to grab the glasses of wine. She thrust the glass into Penny’s hands and gulped her own down in seconds. She was going to need as much alcohol as she could get.
“Is everything okay?”
Callie licked her lips to gather any traces of wine left behind. “We need to talk.” She set her glass down and pulled Penny closer.
“Um, okay,” Penny’s brows meshed together in confusion and it only deepened when Callie took her own glass and downed it. “Callie, what’s wrong?”
Callie felt the warmth begin to spread in her chest, her head starting swim. “I need you to leave.” She blurted. She stared deeply at Penny. “Well, for about a week. I’m getting ‘back’ with Arizona and…”
“You’re getting back together?” Penny got up from the bed and began gathering her things. “You told me she wasn’t good for you! You said she broke your heart too many times, you said-“
Watching Penny move about the room in haste made her heart race, her train of thinking finally catching up to her brain. “No! I mean yes. I mean no.” Callie regretted the two glasses of wine, her thoughts already clouded and jumbled. “Please let me explain.”
Penny sighed. “Fine.” She dropped her purse down onto the ground and sat on the edge of the bed. Callie crawled over and took her hands into her own, trying to find the words that would make this sound as least crazy as possible. “Explain.”
“Well, Arizona’s parents are coming into town tomorrow.”
“Okay and…?”
“Arizona never told them that we’re divorced.” Penny’s eyes widened and she was about to speak before Callie continued. “I know it’s crazy. But, it’s only for a week and it doesn’t mean anything.”
Penny rolled her eyes dramatically and inched herself away from Callie even farther. “It doesn’t mean anything?” she scoffed. “Callie, you’re telling me your ex-wife will be staying with you for a week while her parents are in town. Not only that, but you’re ‘playing’ wives.” Her paled fingers rose to emphasize her words. “Nothing about this doesn’t mean anything.’”
Callie’s hands reached out to hold Penny’s for some semblance of comfort so she could see, could feel what her intentions were. Her heart sunk when Penny ripped her hands away, her eyes not even in her direction anymore. “Penny, please. Her parent’s mean a lot to me and I can’t just let Arizona-“
“She’s your ex Callie! You have to let her go! You can’t just let her pull you in again. What if this is a trick to get you back? What if she’s lying?” The red head spat with anger.
Callie let her words sink in. She never considered that. She was just thinking about how hurt and afraid Arizona looked and how guilty she must have been feeling. “Penny…” she tried again at an attempt for understanding.
“Save it. You’re obviously not over her if you’re going to agree with something so…so…” she got up and grabbed her purse once more. “Don’t bother calling me. Ever.” her voice cracked along with the hinges as the door slammed behind her.
The brunette was left alone in silence, her hands grabbing handfuls of her duvet so she could use something to absorb her tears.
Arizona was rushing to pack her small suitcase for the week ahead. She glanced at her watch, seeing that it was almost 8 am, and she was beginning to freak out. She needed to pick her parents up at the airport in a few hours and she and Callie still needed to move some things around the house to make it look like they actually lived together.
Stuffing the last blouse into the suitcase, Arizona looked around carefully, feeling as if she were forgetting something.
“Sofia! It’s time to stop playing dress up, we have to go to mommy’s!” she set her suitcase onto the floor and kept an eye out for the tiny copy of Callie. When she didn’t get a response from her daughter, an irritated sigh escaped her lips and she trudged to her closet.
“Sofia…” her words were caught in her throat when she found her daughter covered in pieces of jewelry and one of her favorite hats atop her head. “Baby, what happened?”
“I saw the pretty box and I went to reach for it,” her eyes shone with tears, her lower lip trembling at the look in her mother’s eyes. “I’m sorry, mama. I didn’t mean to make a mess.”
Arizona knelt down next to her daughter as best as she could with her leg, and helped her daughter to clean up. There were earrings scattered around, a few rings here and there.
It was the sight of a gold chain and a hanging heart that truly made her heart stop. “Sofia, go get your things and meet me in the living room. Tell Mr. Andrew to make you a snack.” She gently pulled on the end of Sofia’s pigtail and forced a smile on her face, the expression instantly dropping when her daughter was out of sight. With the other pieces of jewelry forgotten Arizona picked up the single chain and stared.
The necklace represented so much; it represented their young love, a physical reminder of how much they cared for each other. When they wore it, they knew they belonged to each other. That they belonged together.
Swallowing the lump caught in her throat, shaky hands slowly clasped the necklace on. It was soothing and calming, the cold gold resting where it was always meant to be. Arizona blinked a few times, a stray tear falling while she grabbed her wedding band and wobbled back onto her feet.
She wasn’t sure how she was going to get through this week without falling apart. Why did she do this to herself? Why couldn’t she just tell her parents the truth and end this pain? She closed her eyes and mentally told herself to keep herself together, to make sure every moment this week held with Callie was spent with a closed off heart. She couldn’t risk falling back into something she couldn’t crawl out of.
After receiving a text from Arizona that she would be arriving within the next fifteen minutes, Callie finally managed to pull herself out of bed. Her hair was ruffled and her head ached with all the wine she consumed last night. Was Penny right? Was Arizona just using her to get her back?
No, no, she thought. Arizona wouldn’t use her like this. Arizona was a private person, and after the crash, she rarely talked to her parents. She remembered when Sofia was born how she would call her parents every night to tell them all about Sofia and how happy she was, but after…
She didn’t want to think of that period in their lives. It only brought pain and heartache and she didn’t need any more of that.
Dragging her feet to the bathroom, she lazily combed her hair, brushed her teeth and didn’t bother changing out of her pajamas. With the ringing of the doorbell, Callie shoved her feelings from the night to the side and opened the door. She spotted her daughter first, tiny arms flying around her in excitement. “Hey baby girl,” she smiled for first time that morning. “Go to your room, mama and I need to talk.” she picked Sofia up and hugged her tightly then set her on her feet.
Callie finally made eye contact with Arizona, her blue eyes tired yet shining. “Hey,” she took a step back to let Arizona in the house.
“I don’t even know what to say,” Arizona said when the door closed behind her. “I’ve done a lot of thinking this morning and I realize the situation I put you in. I realize how hard this must be for you and I’m sorry I’m making you do this.” She rushed.
Callie took a step closer to Arizona and looked behind her to make sure Sofia was out of ear shot. “I’m not going to say it’s okay, because it isn’t. But, I think I understand why you did and I know this must be really hard for you to face.” Arizona’s head was down, her knuckles white with the force in which she grasped the handle of her suitcase. “I don’t really know why I’m doing this yet, but I feel like I need to.” She paused. “At least for you.”
Arizona’s eyes finally met hers and she nodded. “Penny and I broke up last night, so she won’t be a problem.” Callie whispered.
Arizona gasped with surprise. She didn’t even consider Penny when asking this of Callie and the sudden rush of nausea and guilt almost knocked her over. “Callie, I’m so sorry…”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just,” her hair spilled over her shoulders in waves as she shook her head. “We’ll put your stuff away and we’ll talk before you have to get your parents. Just…not right now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Callie tilted her head in the direction of her bedroom, silently telling Arizona to follow. The blonde wasn’t quite sure how to feel yet. She hadn’t been in Callie’s room once since she moved here. She didn’t exactly have a reason to either; they weren’t together, and it wouldn’t be right to enter a part of the house that was so personal.
Arizona couldn’t help but examine the room when they entered; the walls were a dark red, a few chairs splayed around and a small gray bed dead set in the middle. Little light fell into the room from the small windows behind the bed, but she was immediately able to see the dark wood drawers when Callie turned the lights on. “Top right drawer is for your personals, and the one below it for the rest.” She went to the closet, rummaging around to find something for herself for the day ahead.
It was silent between the two as they each became involved in their own morning activities. It wasn’t strange, the two settling into a routine that was once practiced nearly every day. It was simply quiet, the only sounds being a cap to lotion clicking shut a sigh from aching joints.
About twenty minutes later, Callie came out of the bathroom. She wore a dark green blouse with dark, tight jeans. “Alright, um,” She had on light make-up and her hair was up in a ponytail with her signature silver earrings. Arizona’s mouth was in a tight line, when she saw Callie’s arm out, palm facing up with her wedding band nestled safely on it. “Are we wearing them? I mean, obviously we’re supposed to be married but do you think they’d notice…” her words trailed when she saw Arizona’s exposed neck and some of her chest. The red blouse she wore was tight and loose in all the right places, and the necklace she had gotten her for Valentine’s Day sat perfectly onto her pale skin.
“I can take it off,” Arizona flipped her long, curled hair to the side ready to undo the chain. “I didn’t know what you were comfortable with and—“ she stopped herself.
Again it was silent. What would one do in this situation? It’s not like this is something normal people did on a daily basis, it isn’t something you would find in a pamphlet. What should you do when your ex lies to their parents about being divorced and you aren’t sure if you should wear your wedding bands, important jewelry or sleep in the same bed?
Oh god, Callie thought. She couldn’t even think about that right now.
“Keep it on.” She kept her eyes on the necklace for another few moments before slipping her ring onto her left hand and going into her drawer to retrieve the silver object. “Your mom used to fawn over how cute they were,” she mumbled. “She’ll notice if we’re not wearing them.”
Having these pieces of importance on her flesh again felt…different. She didn’t know how to describe it. She stared at her left hand while the right clutched onto the heart that was so close to her beating one.
“Callie, we don’t have to wear these.” She wasn’t sure how she felt or how much time passed, but she wasn’t shocked to find Arizona right beside her, taking her hand and slipping the ring off. Her hands were warm, their fingers brushing together and eliciting a shock up her arm.
“No, no,” Callie snatched the ring back and put it on. “We’re doing this. You need to do this.” She took a deep breath. “We need to talk to Sofia, explain at least somewhat about what’s going on.”
Arizona nodded. “Okay.” She squeezed Callie’s shoulder, the urge to hug her and console her taking over. Without permission, she wrapped her arms around the brunette and held her close. “I’m sorry.”
Arizona sat with her hands crushing the steering wheel of her minivan. She couldn’t help but continuously look in the rear view mirror, Sofia giggling in her car seat while talking to her stuffed animal. Closing her eyes, she silently awaited her parents’ arrival.
It was going to be a simple week, her and Callie decided. Arizona was going to take a few days off of work to spend time with Sofia and her parents while Callie continued her normal, daily routine at the hospital. Also, after much begging and pleading from her mother, Sofia would be watched by her grandparents at the end of the week so Arizona could return to work.
It was a much easier explaining things to Sofia than either of them anticipated.
“Mama is going to be staying with us for a little bit.” Callie said.
Sofia seemed to not be paying any attention to her mothers’, the doll in her arms more interesting. “Like a day?” she looked up with her large eyes and a smile creeping onto her face.
“More. The WHOLE week!” Arizona tickled Sofia’s sides, a fit of giggles following after. “And guess who else will be here?”
As if on cue, Sofia’s hands flew over her mouth to try and cover her giggles when her mother scooped her up into her lap. “Nana and grandpa!” she exclaimed. Sofia’s big brown eyes grew in size at all the excitement; from having both of her mothers together to finding out that her grandparents were coming? Sofia was beyond ecstatic.
“But we need to tell you something else.” Callie joined in. “Baby, look at me,” she said when Sofia continued to busy herself with the doll. “Mama and I are going to be…friendlier…than we usually are.”
Sofia looked lost with a cute slight tilt of her head. “Like me and Zola?”
“Like how we used to be. Do you remember?”
The tiny human thought for a moment, their words making sense but the meaning behind them still confusing. “When you used to kiss each other?” she whispered. Sofia was familiar with the hard stares her mommy would give her when mentioning or questioning why her and her mama weren’t in the same house or holding hands anymore.
Arizona nodded, the bottom of her chin brushing the top of Sofia’s head. “Yes.”
“But it’s just going to be this week.” Callie enforced. “So…don’t say anything about us not living together to nana and grandpa.”
“Okay, mommy,” she hugged her doll close to her chest and let her body fall back into Arizona.
Their eyes met, the vulnerability in Callie’s not missed by Arizona.
The have yet to discuss sleeping arrangements. Arizona’s mother was very perceptive and she noticed things; if Callie and Arizona were to sleep in different rooms, Arizona would surely be questioned fiercely. When she was a teenager, she could barely get away with wearing different earrings without her mother asking, “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you going through a new phase? Do you hate the earrings I bought you last month?” she cringed at the memory and the hold on her steering wheel got even tighter.
Why was she doing this again? What was stopping her from just waiting for her parents to show up, say her and Callie were divorced and that be it? Why couldn’t she be a good man in a storm and just own up to what-
“Can we have ice cream for dinner since nana and grandpa are staying with us?” Sofia asked.
Opening her eyes slowly, Arizona glanced at Sofia through the mirror and shook her head. “We can have ice cream after you have the meal mommy’s making later.”
With a grumble and roll of her eyes, Sofia went back to playing with her stuffed animal. Arizona reached over to the passenger seat and picked up her phone to check the time, only to see she missed a phone call from Callie.
She put the phone up to her ear and waited for Callie to answer.
“Hello?”
“You called?” she unbuckled herself and slipped out of the car when she saw her parents’ approaching. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just realized I didn’t have a few things for dinner tonight.”
Arizona was suddenly engulfed in her mother’s arm. “Arizona! My baby!” Barbara pulled away and examined her daughter with the widest of smiles. She resembled Arizona greatly, the deep lines in her face, the grey of her eyes and blonde hair the only distinct differences between the two. “Where’s Callie and Sofia?”
Arizona grinned. “Mm.” she rolled her lips and pointed to her phone. “Callie, can you text me what you need? My parents are here.”
She could hear a pause on the other line. “Okay. Tell Mrs. Robbins I said hi.”
“I will.” Arizona could see her mother studying her, the light in her eyes infectious as a smile built on Arizona’s face. “Callie says, ‘hi’ mom.”
Barbara snatched the phone from Arizona’s hands and started speaking to Callie while Arizona went to greet The Colonel. His face was neutral as it usually was, the hard icy stare that reflected blue metal softening at the sight of his daughter. With a shiver, Arizona pulled her jacket closer to her body as a gust of wind swept by, a few strands of hair blocking her vision. “Hi, Dad.”
Daniel stepped forward and took his daughter into his arms. He was warm, but the feeling was gone quickly as he awkwardly pulled away. It was a feeling in the pit of her stomach, a hunch that he was afraid to get close to her. They weren’t exactly close when she was younger; he was very close to her brother. They shared similar interests in camping, honoring the country and boy things she could never get into. She could remember her brother and her dad spending hours just talking about Timothy’s future and what his plans in the army were going to be.
But after they found out her brother died, her father became distant. Though they didn’t show it, she knew that the relationship between her parents had strained and he rarely talked to her on the phone when she called home. She suspected he was holding back, too afraid to get too attached to her mother or herself any more than he already was in case something should happen.
She held in her frown when her father avoided eye contact. She couldn’t dwell on the sad emotion for long, however, when the loud laugh from her mother touched her ears. “Of course, dear! Yes! I will see you soon!” she hung up the phone and joined her husband and daughter. “Daniel, we’re going to be dropping you off and then us girls will be going shopping for dinner tonight.”
“Just me and you?” Arizona asked.
With the trunk popped open, Daniel placed their suitcases in the back so he could avoid Barbara and Arizona’s conversation. “No. Callie and Sofia, too.” The tree of them slipped back into the car, Barbara already enjoying the company of her granddaughter. “Speaking of Sofia, how’s my little angel?”
Sofia snickered when her nana kissed her cheeks multiple times. “Have you been good for you mommies?”
When Arizona’s parents arrived at the house, Callie was able to skip any awkward greetings at the door with the excuse that she wanted to go shopping as soon as possible so she could get the night over with. She had hugged Barbara warmly, the amount of emotion that washed over her from the hug.
She had forgotten how safe she felt in Barbara’s arms, how at ease she was at the only accepting mother figure in her life. She used to call Barbara on occasion after her and Arizona got married. The older Robbins had seen her distraught after her mother’s abrupt departure. She was so much like Arizona was; she was there, she comforted her and she listened to her cry. It was a very emotionally exposed night, and from then on, Barbara swore that she would be there for Callie whenever she needed her when her mother couldn’t.
She couldn’t let herself dwell on the past. This whole ordeal of faking her marriage just made her guilty, and lying to Arizona’s mother already made her feel terrible. As she expected, The Colonel only nodded her way with a tight line on his mouth.
To top it all off, Callie was sad from the lack of responses from her –ex?-girlfriend Penny, and she just wanted to lay in bed and cry about it. She would much prefer drinking some wine while watching TV, but she was positive that wouldn’t look good in front of the ex-in laws.
So, as she was rushing to Arizona’s van, she was greeted by her daughter and a sly smile. “Hi mommy,” the small voice sang.
Callie smiled back and tapped one of Sofia’s shoes in acknowledgement. “Hi, baby. You excited to go to the store?” she checked her phone for any messages: still nothing from Penny. She sighed in defeat.
“I want ice cream for dinner.”
Arizona had hurried into the car at the end of their daughter’s statement. A sigh, much like Callie’s fell past her lips. “Sofia, I already told you, no ice cream until after dinner.” She turned her head so Sofia could see the seriousness in her face and recognize the finality laced with her words.
It was quiet in the car, Callie sensing something on Arizona’s mind when her body grew tense. She let her eyes study the blonde for a moment; she could see a few strands of her quick growing hair tangling with the golden necklace, the way her lips rolled while she pondered on a thought. Her hands were rigid in her lap, a shake rolling through her body as a wave of cold from the open window touched her skin.
Arizona turned her body to face Callie, her fingers turning the volume of the music up in the back so Sofia wouldn’t hear them. “This is going to be quick, and I’m sorry if it makes you…uncomfortable.” Arizona said in a hushed voice.
Callie could see the worry lined in her face and the red of her cheeks as she swallowed nervously. “Is everything okay?” she leaned her closer, the music and Sofia’s singing making it hard to make out Arizona’s words.
“Hand holding. In the store…” her right hand inched forward to touch Callie’s but she paused just as the tips of their fingers were about to touch. “Is that okay?” her eyes shook and Callie wasn’t really able to detect the emotion behind them. She always had trouble doing it before; Arizona was always such a private and guarded person, it was always hard to get her to speak about how she felt. It was short of impossible when she lost her leg. She rarely spoke and when she did, they were harsh words full of hate and regret.
With the shake of her head, Callie refocused on Arizona’s eyes now, the blue so bright contrasting against the scarlet of her cheeks. “Um,” she looked down at their hands, at how close they were. She could feel the warmth from Arizona’s digits touch the tip of hers momentarily, the spark causing a gasp to leave her lips. She took initiative and flipped Arizona’s hand over, the other joining to hold the girly hand between hers to make the situation less awkward.
“I’m sorry,” Arizona repeated.
“If we’re going to get through this week, you have to stop apologizing.” She squeezed Arizona’s hand once before gently setting it down where they were. “I know how sorry you are.” She leaned in closer so Arizona could see the truth in Callie’s eyes. She wasn’t able to hold the eye contact for long, the feel of Arizona’s breath washing over her face making her dizzy and confused.
She didn’t know why she was feeling like this, feeling so protective of the blonde. For the past few months, she didn’t feel anything. They were distant, the main topic of discussion Sofia or how well one of their surgeries went. Lately, though, she was focused on Penny and it was Arizona who became distant. She would avoid her in the halls, she wouldn’t wave to her anymore. She wasn’t that concerned, her own problems dealing with Meredith and Penny distracting enough that she didn’t focus on the woman so close to her at this moment.
The two were so wrapped up in each other they failed to notice Barbara walking over to the car. “Are we going to the store or are we going to be gossiping like school girls?” she joked.
Callie and Arizona pulled away from each other faster than both thought possible. They sat up straight and Arizona cleared her throat before closing the windows, locking the doors and starting the car.
They were in the store for about twenty minutes when Sofia began to express her current state of boredom. She wiggled in her seat, her little body surrounded by random items of food. Her nana, who was pushing the cart, was starting to bore her and her mothers were too busy stiffly holding hands and worrying about their surroundings to actually help her in escaping the dreadful store.
“Okay, we just need bread and then we’re good to go.” Callie said when Arizona squeezed her hand. It felt so natural and she had to admit she didn’t know how much she missed it until Arizona’s fingers intertwined with hers when they got out their cars.
It was windy and she could feel how cold Arizona’s hands were, so she instinctively pulled Arizona closer and once again took her hand in between both of hers to help keep her warm. It was a shock to them both, their eyes meeting in uncertainty before Callie moved at a suitable distance.
Neither of them knew what to do, neither of them knew what the other was okay with, and they both felt tremendously lost. It was so different to where they were in their lives the last time the held hands with matching rings together.
Callie squeezed Arizona’s hand back and went off to look for bread and more importantly, try to stop the tears that were begging to release. Arizona stared as she walked away, an ache building in her leg as the stress from the day wore on. She winced at the sudden shooting of pain but bit her tongue so as to not worry her mother.
“I’m glad you came to visit,” she said honestly. “I really missed you. Sofia did, too.” She smiled. She leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder and took a deep breath.
This is your chance. She told herself. This is your chance to tell the truth.
She lifted her head and looked at her mother, the older woman chewing on her lip the way Arizona did often as she stared at her own short list of items. She lifted her hands and balled them into fists, clenching and unclenching them over and over as she struggled to form a single word.
“You seem happy…but sad at the same time.” Barbara said lowly. Like she did when Arizona was younger and wanted to distract her from adult conversations, Barbara unwrapped a lollipop and gave it to Sofia. “Is everything alright?” she stopped in the middle of the aisle, a few couples walking around them. “You and Callie seem off.”
“Uh…” she tried to find an explanation, but she knew if she added another lie to the already blazing fire on her pants, she would continue to keep digging and digging into a deeper whole. “Callie is just going through some things right now…work related things. She doesn’t really want to talk about it.”
“Hmm,” Barbara stared at her daughter and accepted the answer with a push of the cart. “I’m worried about her. She doesn’t call me anymore.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Did I do something? Did your father? She didn’t seem that happy to see us.” Arizona’s heart clenched at how her mother tried to keep her voice sturdy and steady. Arizona had inherited her father’s ability to hide what she was feeling, and it was obvious now that she saw her mother’s face contort into sadness.
“Mom, no,” Arizona stopped them again, Sofia sensing the change of emotions in the air.
“Nana, are you sad?” Sofia lifted her green lollipop up, her now green lips in a pout. “Do you want a lick of lollipop?”
Barbara cleared her throat and shook her head. “No, sweetie, I’m okay.”
Again, Arizona had the urge to just tell her mother what was going, but she knew that look that was just put away for Sofia’s sake would return. She couldn’t bear to see the pain on her mother’s face, not after the vast amount of times she saw it after her brother died, or when she would visit and saw how her mother sat alone in the kitchen with a glass of wine in her wrinkled hands.
The topic of their conversation had returned with a nonchalant look on her face. “Are we ready to go then?” Arizona asked.
“Yep.”
Callie went to Arizona’s side and took her hand into hers forcefully. Their fingers wove together, each thread of their fingers perfectly resting together. Another pulse of pain shot down her leg and she held back a whimper. Brown eyes met blue, both of them seeing that the other had something to say.
“We need to talk later,” Callie whispered in Arizona’s ear. She was so close and it temporarily forgot about the pain in her leg, the pain in her heart for her mother. Her eyes shut and it took everything in her not to turn her head, just a little, to take Callie’s lips and just let the pain go away and let all the guilt disappear.
She stopped herself and let Callie pull away again their hands touched to the tips of their fingers until she drifted away.
It was the middle of the night. At least, that’s what Callie assumed when a stray hand made sudden contact with her face. She didn’t realize what it was at first, thinking that she was dreaming or that she had moved wrong while sleeping. When she opened her eyes, she squinted to try and adjust to the darkness of the room. She took a deep breath and instantly recognized the familiar smell that was Arizona. Callie was unsure of what to do when Arizona’s hand drifted to the line of her jaw.
“Thanks for making this amazing meal, Callie.” Barbara smiled.
“Oh, it’s no problem, Barbara.”
The sounds of silver scraping against plates pre occupied each member at the table. “So what’s new? Anything happening at the hospital? Any more grand babies I should be excited about?”
Arizona was close to spitting out her drink. “Uh, um no.” she laughed nervously. She looked at Callie with wide eyes to see the brunette grinning widely.
Her mouth was shut and her eyes followed as she tried to think of what to do. Should she move? Stay? Was Arizona even aware of what she was doing?
“I didn’t know she was going to be asking things like that. I specifically told her not to over the phone.” Arizona shook her head.
“Well we are married. It’s what married couples do.” Her voice was joking, but Callie had a taste of bitterness and sarcasm in her words.
Arizona rolled her eyes and passed Callie a wet plate for her to dry, their hips making contact. “Shut up,” she smirked.
Callie laughed and dried the plate with steady hands. “I love your mom. I missed her.” She admitted. She placed the plate in the rack. She looked over at Arizona and noticed a few soap bubbles on her cheek; she let out a chuckle.
Arizona’s head still faced the dishes, but her eyes glanced over. “What’s funny?”
Callie laughed harder.
A dish was dropped in the sink, water splashing about and even more soap bubbles flying onto Arizona. “You think this is funny?” she scooped a handful of soap and threw it at Callie, the two erupting into a fit of giggles.
Of course she wasn’t.
Callie sighed and opened her eyes to find that the blonde was awake. Her blue eyes were bright despite the darkness of the room and the two just stared at each other. Time was forgotten and so were their fears as lust caused Arizona’s eyes to finally darken and for her lips to part slowly.
Callie couldn’t think let alone question how she was feeling when Arizona’s hand sunk deeper into her hair and gently tugged at the roots to pull her closer. She hummed at the feel of Arizona’s hands, the tips cold but sending flames across her scalp and straight to her cheeks with a blush. It was so quiet, she could barely hear herself breath.
Arizona’s mouth opened wider as if she were going to say something, but her mouth shut almost in the same move when her eyes darted to Callie’s lips. “Calliope,” she whispered pulling Callie’s hair and breathing her in as their lips met after years of being apart. They found each other again, hands quickly roaming and pants escaping as their past dances and rehearsed movements pushed them further and further into each other.
What are you doing?
Callie went to place her hands on Arizona’s shoulders to push her back, but the fog that clouded her mind and the vertigo Arizona caused her sent her hands in the wrong direction. She moaned, the sound ever so soft, and slammed her eyes shut when she accidentally groped Arizona’s breasts.
They stared at each other when they entered Callie’s bedroom.
“I’ll just sleep on my side.” Arizona said.
Her side. She still had her side, because Callie still to this day, slept on her side as well. “Sounds good.”
“Stop,” she panted. Her hands roamed up Arizona’s chest and to her shoulders, the will the push her away finally breaking through. Their faces were still close together and their noses skimmed off one another with each breath. They stared at each other once again and their hearts pounded and sung against each labored breath. “What just happened?”
“I don’t know.” She reached out to play with a piece of Callie’s hair, but the brunette pulled back and sat upright on her side of the bed. Callie twiddled with her thumbs and sat quietly. Her feet sat flat on the floor, the carpet under her toes soft and calming, but she still couldn’t help the sadness and lack of clarity that filled her thoughts. Wiping a few fallen tears from under her eyes, Callie went to the bathroom to get some space from the woman on the other side.
Arizona watched with concerned eyes as the only light source was cut off when Callie gently closed the bathroom door. The last five minutes were both unexpected and exhilarating. She touched her lips, almost as if the action could still give her the ability to feel Callie on her flesh or taste her on her tongue. She questioned why she did it, but she knew why. Callie was sad, the crease between her brows and the way her lips curved down were wall too familiar.
She solved it the only way she knew how. At least, the only way she knew how with Callie. She was used to Callie reaching out for her affection and touch when she was sad. She was used to Callie needing something intimate to feel, it’s how they’ve always dealt with what they could not say or were unable to deal with. But they weren’t together anymore, and for a moment, that moment where she was so close to Callie again, she forgot.
She believed in that moment that Callie did, too.
With ease, Arizona put her leg on and timidly made her way to the bathroom door. She raised her now balled fist but still hesitated. Was she in the right to ask if Callie was okay? She had already screwed up the night so much, she didn’t want to risk saying anything that would further upset her or tarnish any form of relationship they had left. With a sigh, Arizona knocked on the door and softly said, “Callie?”
She could hear a sob on the other side of the door, her heart dropping along with her hand. “Callie,” she could hardly hear herself speak over the choked sob that passed under the door. “Callie, I’m sorry, can we please talk?” she asked turning the knob. The door opened with a creek and Arizona peered in.
“Can you please just…” Callie’s hands were dabbing at her eyes with a tissue in front of the mirror.
Arizona shut the door behind her and Callie’s heavy breathes echoed off of the porcelain tiles in the small space. “Please, don’t be upset. We can just forget what happened and…”
“I can’t forget, Arizona.” The tissue was forgotten as it was tossed into a small trash bin.
“It was just a kiss.”
“It wasn’t just a kiss. Nothing between us is ever…just something.” Callie turned her head and stared at Arizona with sad, tear filled eyes. “All of this is just making me remember. It’s making me remember what we had, everything we fought for, fought over. I can’t forget.”
She slammed her fist on the sink when another cry passed her lips. “I don’t know anymore.”
The statement was random and Arizona wasn’t quite sure what Callie meant. “What?”
Callie whined and sat atop of the toilet seat. Her head was hung down into her hands when Arizona approached her with a comforting hand to the shoulder. The bare skin of Callie’s shoulder sent chills down her spine, the emotions she had been battling all day now mingling with her physical senses. “Stop,” she swatted Arizona’s hand away.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Arizona asked again.
Brown eyes started at Arizona’s fingers, how they nervously sat on her side and ran up her arm, neck, jaw, until she met her blue eyes. She could see right through them, feel everything she was; she avoided her eyes as fast as she could and focused on her tear streaked hands. “I don’t know how to forget about you. I was able to for so long, distract myself. I learned how to put you away in this little box behind work and dating and Penny but tonight…” she grabbed Arizona’s hand despite what her mind was shouting at her. “I can’t forget. I don’t know if I can.”
Arizona squeezed Callie’s hand when she spoke, the broken words leaving her heart heavy. “I drank a lot of wine tonight.”
It was Callie’s turn to question the blonde. “What?”
“I drank a lot of wine today and I’m not sure if the buzz ran off yet or if it’s seeing you so upset or…”
“Just say it.”
“I still love you.”
Callie’s eyes widened at Arizona’s declaration. She didn’t think she could think at the moment, let only breath as her words got caught in her throat. She stared into blue eyes, the shimmer they held and the honesty behind them knocking the wind back into her. She closed her eyes, hoping logic would rise, sort out and remove the feelings that caused her stomach to churn. Her hands shook; she could only tell because it seemed that when she placed her fingers over her hair down to the curve of her chin, vibrations followed.
What did this mean? How could Arizona feel like this for so long? It had been more than two years and she still had feelings for her, feelings she apparently couldn’t let go of.
Did you ever lose them?
She shook her head to answer her own questions, the quivering of her hands lessening more and more and her breaths easing up.
“Say something.” Arizona said.
Callie lazily opened her eyes. “I don’t know what to say.” It was an honest reply.
Arizona laughed dryly and stepped away. “I’ve already screwed things up enough for one night…” she turned around without sparing another look at Callie. “I’m sorry, Callie.” She was standing at the bathroom’s threshold, her creamy skin darkened by the lack of light in the other room. She looked over her shoulder, a single tear falling from a lonely blue eye. “I’ll tell my parents everything tomorrow. I just want all of this to be over.” She whispered, her voice barely loud enough for Callie to hear.
Arizona shut the door behind her leaving speechless Callie behind her.
She was confused over Arizona’s words at first. They were already over. Everything between them for the past few years was over. As each second past, she recalled the day’s events, the vast emotional toll it took on the both of them. It was draining and she hadn’t felt this exhausted in quite some time. She had forgotten the intense feelings she held towards the blonde, the total control she seemed to have had over her heart.
She’d forgotten these feelings, forced herself to, so that the two of them could be happy. They had suffocated each other and restricted each other from reaching their true happiness. At least, that’s what Callie had thought. But these sensations and past passions were, again, rising back to the surface and Callie was baffled at herself. How could two years of moving on and trying to find herself and self-bliss all come to a halt because of a kiss? Because of a look shot her way at the grocery story? Because of the way her heart pounded when Arizona took her hands between hers like she had multiple times in the past?
She cried again.
On the other side of the bathroom, Arizona bundled herself up on her side of the bed. Her curls framed her face and her blanket was pulled up to her chin; she tried not to think of how incredibly stupid she was tonight. How could she let herself slip like that? She had revealed how pathetic she was for harboring her true feelings for Callie the past two years and what had been momentary relief at the admission, now felt like her insides were twisting.
“Stupid,” she mumbled to herself. She sunk farther and farther into her blanket, the soft sheets now resting just above her piercing blue eyes.
She inhaled a few more times to try and hold back her tears, but the mixture of complete embarrassment and the amount of heat that pressed against her skin was smothering. She flung the blanket off of herself and slipped her leg back on with the perfect cure for her sadness in mind.
She left the bedroom with a shiver as the room temperature touched her warm skin and kept her head down, her only goal being to hopefully make it to her daughter’s bed room without bursting into tears.
“Arizona?” her mother’s voice gently called.
She paused her mission, head still angled in the floor’s direction and a deep breath passing her lips. The last thing she wanted right now was to talk to her mother. She knew if she sat down at the kitchen’s island and sipped some tea with her that everything would come pouring out and she just didn’t have the strength to deal with everything right now.
“Arizona.” Barbara’s voice was mixed with alarm at her daughter’s abnormal behavior. “Is everything alright, dear?”
With a sigh, a very long sigh, Arizona slightly grit her teeth and headed in her mother’s direction. “Hmm?” she still evaded eye contact, instead, focusing on a piece of lint on the hardwood floor. “Oh, I just wanted to check on Sofia.” She glanced at her mother briefly as she made her way to the island.
“It’s already midnight, what do you need to check on her for?”
Almost effortlessly, Arizona sat onto one of the stools placed by the island, letting her head rest on her hands. “I know but sometimes I just like to check on her.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Sofia was her baby, and often now when she had the tiny human accompanied with a nightmare, she would check on her to make sure she was okay. It was an impulse she couldn’t help.
Barbara smirked at the answer. “I used to check on you and Tim all the time when you were younger. I was always so worried. Your father was away and it was just us for a while; I worried about you.” Arizona felt a hand reach over to soothingly touch her forearm. “I still worry about you.” She admitted.
“I’ll try to call more…if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said, but Barbara was already shaking her head and placed both of her hands around her tea cup. She took a long sip and the weakly lit room placed a shadow above her eyes.
“I would like that more. I miss hearing about my baby girl’s day.” She took another sip before sliding the cup a ways down the countertop. “Are you sure you and Callie are okay? I know you said Callie was having some personal problems but-“
“Just drop it, mom.” She snapped. She instantly regretted her tone, for letting herself get angry with her mother. “Sorry,” she sighed again. “We’re just having a tough time right now.”
If being divorced counted as a hard time that is.
Barbara took Arizona’s hands and rubbed her thumbs over her knuckles. “I’ll always be here for you. No matter what. I know you like to be independent and have control over everything and I know you just want to protect your father and I.”
Arizona felt confused now. “What?”
“Let’s just say a little birdy said a little too much when we put her to bed.” Barbara’s voice might have been teasing, but her eyes revealed woe and what might have been a pinch of pity.
“Oh my god,” she groaned.
“What happened?”
Arizona shook her head. “It all just built up…from the cheating, Africa, babies…Callie wasn’t happy. I-we weren’t happy. We thought we were and we just kept shoving things under thin rugs and placing band aids over bullet wounds but…”
“How long?”
“About two years.”
Barbara tightened the hold on her daughter’s hands. “You two were just playing wives all day?”
“Yes.” A few curls of hair fell into her face. “I am so selfish mom. So selfish. I forced her to do this because I was scared to admit…”
“Arizona-“
She ripped her hands away and covered her own face when tears finally broke their barrier. Barbara was quick to rush to her daughter’s side and envelop her in hug, heartbroken sobs now cut off as she buried her face in her mother’s bosom. “I wanted to tell you I really did.”
Her voice trembled and the tremors traveled throughout her body growing stronger and stronger with each sniffle and blubbering of unintelligible word. She didn’t want to feel the loss of Callie, she didn’t want to feel the loss of her other half. She had suffered so much from losing her brother, to her best friends; the last thing her heart could handle was being left by what kept it beating. “I love her so much. I miss her. Everyday.” She cried.
“Awe, honey.” Barbara herself was distraught at her daughter’s sadness. She finally understood the lack of phone calls, the almost complete cut off she had from Callie and the solo trips her daughter and grandchild would take when visiting. The lack of a full smile on her lips, the tired look in her eye, the way her grip on her daughter’s hand seemed extra tight as if afraid she might runaway. She wanted to ask why, why she never told her the truth about the divorce, but the way her daughter clutched to her and the way her weeps seemed to grow in intensity let her know that conversation was for another time.
Neither kept track of the time, but when Arizona started to relax in her arms, she helped her off the stool and headed for Sofia’s room. Arizona strayed from her mother, the two having a silent conversation of understanding, and she snuck into the room. Her head ached and her leg was starting to throb with the stress, but she managed to squeeze in with her daughter and hold her close.
The little girl stirred when she sensed Arizona and whined. She turned and snuggled into the blonde, Arizona kissing the top of her head and closing her eyes as slumber took over.
It was the sound of a blender going off that awoke Callie the next morning. Her eyes felt heavy, the light leaking into the room making it harder and harder for Callie to sink back into the sheets and continue her deep slumber. She complained, the events of last night completely forgotten until she heard Barbara’s voice take a stern tone with what must have been her daughter.
She didn’t want to leave this bed, because that facing her problems. It meant she would have to see Arizona talk to her, because she just couldn’t ignore her…play wife in front of her mother.
Her thoughts still groggy slowly came to reality, recent memories flooding back and her body sitting up so she could properly scratch her head. It was then that she remembered Arizona saying she would tell her mother today; had she done it yet?
She pondered on the thought, worrying about how Barbara would now perceive her knowing that she had lied to her. She wasn’t a judgmental person for sure, but she had no idea what Arizona had told her of their break up. Or what she would when she finally decided to reveal the truth.
“Mommy!” she heard Sofia knock on her door before busting in with a wide grin. “Nana made you and mama breakfast.” The amount of syrup on her face proved that Sofia was already well fed and had very much enjoyed it.
Callie pulled Sofia close to her chest when the tiny human climbed up. She lightly tickled her sides and smiled giving her a good morning kiss. “Um, did nana seem upset at all?”
“No! She was soooo happy.” She shot up to her mother’s ear with cupped hands and hushed, “She didn’t look very happy with mama though.” She whispered then giggled.
“Okay, good. Wait,” she put Sofia down onto the floor and patted her but, ushering her out the room. She said she didn’t look ‘so nice’ at Arizona, so what were the chances that she would look sweet and nice her way? “Actually, I’m not hungry or ready for the day yet.” She went back under her covers as if to hide away.
Sofia, though much louder and worded so much differently, relayed the message to her grandma who was quick to display her disagreement with the answer. “Callie Torres, now you get your butt in here for breakfast.” Barbara’s voice was meant to sound jokingly, but Callie could hear the seriousness behind it.
She whined again before getting up to make it to the kitchen. Both Barbara and Arizona sat at the island, Sofia still struggling to climb up one of the stools. Arizona’s eyes had been on her since she entered the room, but a quick whimper from their daughter caught Arizona’s attention and she helped the tiny human onto the stool as best as she could. Her eyes shot back to Callie, blue orbs filled with worry.
She must have told her mother, Callie concluded. Maybe they’d both find out how the elder felt about this. She took the seat next to Sofia and folded her hands on top of the counter waiting for anyone aside from a rambling Sofia to say something.
“You still like waffles, don’t you Callie?”
The woman in question sent a side look to Arizona. She was chewing on something, her eyes flickering to Callie before returning to quietly eat her food. “Yeah,” she managed to squeak out.
“Nana made me waffles with LOTS of chocolate.” Sofia bounced in her seat. She was rewarded with a kiss on the forehead from her grandmother.
“Sofia, why don’t you join your grandfather in the living room? I’m sure he’d love for you to watch TV with him.”
Sofia carefully slid off the chair and ran to the living room.
Callie gulped audibly.
“So, I have been told by an extremely adorable four year old that the two of you, are in fact, no longer together?” she placed a fully cooked waffle onto a played joined by whipped cream and assorted fruits. She placed the plate in front of Callie and waited for her to start eating.
When neither Callie nor Arizona said anything, Barbara felt it to take her statement farther. “What happened to the two of you? In what universe did either of you think it was smart to pretend that you’re together?” she was now pacing and shaking her head. “I mean,” she pointed at Arizona. “Your father and I have raised you to always be honest and honorable.”
Callie watched the blonde drop her fork onto her plate. Arizona was close to rolling her eyes when she sighed and looked at her mother contritely. “Mom,” she blushed.
“Two years?” she now looked at Callie. “I can’t believe you haven’t told me, either.” The once angry looking woman now looked sad, almost heartbroken. “I don’t know what happened, but…” she sat down.
Callie would only be lying to herself if she said she even considered telling Barbara what had happened. Sure, it may have slipped her mind once or twice, but she didn’t dwell on the idea of telling the older Robbins what had happened. She tried terribly hard to distance herself from the situation. All of this was because she wanted to figure out who she was now and let Arizona do the same. If she got involved with her family, she wouldn’t be giving Arizona that chance.
She couldn’t even think of a reason as to why she let herself agree to this without even once thinking of any consequences. She had just felt so bad for Arizona; she hated seeing the shameful look on her face at asking this difficult situation. It literally made her sick to see her look so vulnerable, and it always brought her back to right when they were at the most difficult time of their lives.
Without thinking about it, she laid on hand on Arizona’s shoulder and squeezed kindly. There would always be a part of her that would want to make her feel happy, to make sure she never had to feel the pain or resentment she felt after she lost her leg.
“See that?” Barbara gestured to Callie’s hand. “You two have something, and even when you’re apart, it’s still there.”
“Mom,” Arizona’s voice was sterner. “Just drop it. We’re done.”
Callie flinched at the response and removed her hand. “I’m is leaving after we’re done eating and then…we can continue to go on with our lives.” She looked at Callie again. She held her breath at the amount of love she still held in her eyes, the devastation that trailed her words. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused.” She got up and the other two woman sat in silence.
“You’re just going to let her leave?”
Callie balled her fists.
“I saw the way you looked at her. You still love her.”
Much like last night, Barbara went around the island and comforted one of her daughters—though they were divorced, Barbara still valued her relationship with Callie. She rubbed Callie’s arms up and down. “Arizona still loves you too, you know.” It was obvious it wasn’t a question. “She was heart broken. Still is by the looks of it. I don’t enjoy seeing my girls sad.”
“It’s not as easy as it sounds, Mrs. Robbins.”
Barbara didn’t even bother correcting her. “What’s that problem? You two love each other.”
“There’s more to relationships than just love. Love can’t always be enough. No matter how hard we try, we have to realize…some things just can’t be fixed.” Her voice was crushed and smashed into fragile, tiny pieces. “I tried so hard to love her, but I don’t know if we’re good for each other anymore. All we do is hurt each other.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. We were barely here a day and I could see how happy you two were. I admit, things seemed off, but you two looked so happy when you were together.”
“I’m scared.”
“We’re all scared. None of us ever know how our lives will end up but I know you two are meant for each other.”
She still loved Arizona and the admission seemed to have lifted a massive weight from her shoulders. She shuddered the wave of love that washed over her. She was happy to be sitting down, the rush of emotions that she had stored away for so long coming to life and at full force.
“What if we just hurt each other more?” she asked this question more to herself. Yes, they had both changed a good deal, but was it for the better? Would Arizona treat her right? Would she stay faithful? Would Callie herself be able to protect Arizona, keep her loved? Each question swirled through her mind only adding to the continuously growing doubt.
“What if you make each other happier? What if you encourage each other to do better, to love more, enjoy life more?”
She had a good point.
Before she could question or deflect the positivity any further, Barbara shook Callie’s shoulders with determination. “Don’t let her leave. Tell her how you feel while you still have the chance. You never know when the one you love will get away for good.”
Again, she had a good point.
“You’re right,” she mumbled standing on shaky legs and heading towards her room.
She didn’t know why she had shoved these feelings aside for so long. She had seen the woman Arizona had become, how Callie herself had learned what it was to be happy on her own and feel fulfilled. But she knew how much fuller she would finally be.
Maybe now they were ready to be together, for good this time.
She flung the door to her room open to see a crying Arizona with a few items of clothing in her hands. She waited for Callie to do something, anything.
“I love you, too.”
The clothes fell from Arizona’s hands onto the bed, her glistening eyes growing in size. “You do?”
Feet were quick to race to Arizona, hands cupping her jaw and a kiss planting on salt covered lips. Arizona’s hands remained calmly by her sides as the rest of her body shook with want, tongues meeting and melding into a wet kiss. A moan slipped out, neither knowing from whom, and mouths continued to blend. Arizona gained confidence when Callie didn’t pull back this time, her own hands tangling their selves in Callie’s hair.
Arizona tugged on Callie’s hair and pulled back to look in to Callie’s eyes. “I love you, too.”