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Once softly closing Kazue's bedroom door behind them in hopes of not disrupting his early slumber, Atsushi and Akutagawa quietly reenter the living room, as the weretiger leans into his companion drowsily.
"Ryuu?" he yawns, head resting against his shoulder as they both stop in their tracks at the center of the living room, Akutagawa staring fondly at the boy before him as he runs a finger through the abnormal black strand tucked away in his uneven bangs.
"Hmm?"
"I'm hungry."
"That can easily be fixed. What do you want?" Akutagawa offers, genuinely willing to make anything no matter the effort, even if it is ten o'clock at night. He knows how little that boy eats; even before they became united, it was obvious how skinny his body is from close contact during missions, just the same as his own. Now that they'll be forced to spend almost all of their time together raising Kazue, Ryuunosuke will most definitely be making sure his eating habits are improved, even if it requires having to cook for him three times a day.
The mafioso's work schedule revolves heavily around working on call and being out slaving his ass off for the organization at torturous hours of the night such as three or four in the morning, and while he used to be so neglectful of eating to the point he was becoming borderline anorexic, which honestly wasn't all that long ago given that it was still a current problem during the time he met Atsushi, it's improved significantly.
The two of them were concerningly underweight then, although because of constant lectures and interventions from mostly Gin, Higuchi, Chuuya, and sometimes even the rest of Black Lizard, Ryuunosuke has started better taking care of himself for the sake of his compromised health, even if he had little to no desire to live past impressing Dazai for a sickeningly long time. This meant coming home a scatter night at 3:30am and cooking a full course meal just for himself because since breakfast, he hadn't tasted a bite. He tried to get in at least most of his food groups every day, but obviously that wasn't always bound to happen. But the effort is there, and that's what Nakajima lacks.
Atsushi isn't much of a healthy eater, seeing as he more or less lives off of whatever is cheap or on sale so he can get more stock out of single purchase. He's almost been as negligent towards eating as Akutagawa was seeing as he liked to leave most food in the cupboards for Kyouka's taking, and while it has improved in recent days now that he has a stable income, often times his anxiety has him so sick to his stomach that he can't bear to stomach a bite.
But in times of celebration or eating out with friends, and even simple times like now where he's casually blissful and his thoughts are at ease, the trauma-stricken boy can allow himself the pleasure of indulging his hunger with a sensible dosage, which is something to be grateful for.
"It doesn't matter to me, just something simple and not so fancy that I wouldn't have heard it's name before," Atsushi groans into his shoulder, eyes shut as sleep craved to take over his body. "Just hearing Chuuya list off the names of all his expensive, foreign wines is enough to give me a headache."
Akutagawa, who is very well exhausted but not at all tired, bends down so his hands were touching the back of his knees, Atsushi not even flinching when he lifts him up and starts walking toward the couch, the younger smiling in his sleep at the feeling of Rashomon also having to support the weight because of his lack in physical strength.
He lays him down on his back without a word, hearing the gentle taps of his socked feet travelling across the floor to make his way to the kitchen. Atsushi was pretty out of it, but what he can recall was the trail of drool dripping down his lip at the smell of ramen wafting through the air, his stomach crying for it's first real bite of the day minus the couple of McDonald's fries Kazue had fed them earlier.
It felt like hours later when Akutagawa crouches down in front of the sleeping figure and gently shakes him awake, only several minutes later but seeming like a millenium when he was so eager to try some. His eyes were so heavy that he was carrying the weight of lead, but now with the smell so close at hand, his stomach's needs overpowered the craving of rest.
A whispered, "here," is all the master chef says as he gently places the hot bowl between his hands, not letting go until he made sure he had a firm enough grip on it in case his grogginess caused the glass to slip from his hands and waste all over his lap, which would no doubt burn even if the tiger does heal all wounds.
Nakajima's lips formed a thank-you, but he's genuinely too wiped out to tell if it left his tongue in verbal or not. He's sure his partner would have received the message anyway, given that they always seem to know what the other is thinking, although even if he never, the gratitude was clear enough through his expression.
However, now that he thought about it, this would be one of few times where Atsushi genuinely couldn't understand what must be going on through that mind of his. To be able to look at someone like himself with such love and devotion in his eyes, and to kiss the scars on his skin like he's still so beautifully delicate... That could never make sense to Atsushi, because after being degraded and called worthless his entire life, it's impossible to accept the fact someone could ever genuinely care for him in such a deep, everlasting desire. But he's sure Akutagawa must be thinking the same way in the very back of his mind, so perhaps their thoughts are interconnected after all.
"Noise or silence?" comes Akutagawa's voice as Atsushi positions the chopsticks between his fingers, and while Atsushi had been bewildered for a moment, the intentions were made clearer when the former waves a TV remote in his hand. "Doesn't make much difference to me, I prefer either."
While Nakajima didn't mind the quiet so long as he wasn't alone and trapped with his thoughts, he didn't think Akutagawa would be enough tonight to keep the images from earlier at bay, as well as the return of many unpleasant memories from a past he still couldn't seem to leave behind.
So he tells him, "Noise," which is when he lays his hot bowl down on the coffee table and leans over the arm of the couch to retrieve his satchel off the floor, opening the flap and digging his hand around in there before he felt his glasses case.
Akutagawa was back on to him, stood up while he turned on the television that already was on a low enough volume and flicked on the guide. So when he finally did face Atsushi again when everything was set up, he feels his heart constrict at seeing the boy slide a pair of black plastic frames behind his ears, rectangular with rounded edges. They didn't have a proper light on, but the illumination of the screen on his face could define them enough, and for the second to hundredth time today, Ryuunosuke did, in fact, feel another failure of his heart coming on.
"W-What..." Atsushi stutters out nervously, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck when he turned his head away with a face burning bright, stomach nervous and full of butterflies. He's only had these glasses for six months now, and while the boy isn't required to wear them while staring at electronics or focusing on words on a page, it's the times he do require them that he feels super self-conscious, even if Dazai jokingly calling him a nerd whenever he has to put them on for reading paperwork shouldn't bother him at all.
Akutagawa can clearly notice the anxious display despite the shield of darkness reducing their vision, and he can't help but scoffs and smirk to himself towards the idiocy of such ridiculous thoughts. He reclaims his seat beside him, his lips only further stretching into a bigger smile as he presses his pointer finger on the plastic separating the lens, sliding the specs up the bridge before booping his nose. Atsushi's heart was racing like crazy in that moment, not only because it seemed like the man was drifting closer and closer, but the hungry look in his eyes that made it appear as if there was nothing more he wanted in this world than him.
They are forehead to forehead now, gazes stuck together and the skin of their lips just barely grazing, and the air Atsushi had held onto finally leaves his mouth with a tremor when the man before him murmurs, "They're cute on you."
At this point, Nakajima felt as if he would physically die if they didn't do something about this tension within sixty seconds, but the only time he had to wait was however long it took for him to mutter with barely a breath in his lungs, "Kiss me, please," until the calm before the storm finally struck like a tidal wave.
Immediately his lips were under attack before his mind could process what he just asked, let alone what was happening. His mind was too much of a mess to think a proper thought as he's laid down on his back, hormones impulsively reacting to the warning signs as he suppressed the urge to vocalize the pleasure he was drowning in. Never had Atsushi been kissed, so he couldn't properly determine whether or not Akutagawa would be considered a talented kisser, but even if he had been, love and lust clouded his vision too much to call it anything less than perfect.
The laugh track of whatever show was playing on TV was all Atsushi could hear in the background of their moment, and when Akutagawa abandons his mouth to move on to exploring his neck, Nakajima couldn't help but giggle at how funny it would be if it were the sight of the both of them that evoked such a priceless reaction as he drew his fingers through Ryuunosuke's hair, tugging slightly whenever he felt teeth. After all, who wouldn't find this humorous? Two strangers once ready to kill each other now helplessly drawn to each other like magnetism.
Moments later, Akutagawa's head lifts back up upon hearing Atsushi's chuckles, smiling down on him as he teasingly asks, "Something funny, Jinko?" poking him in the neck as his body scrunched up, laughter intensifying as the tips of his nails trace his skin ticklishly.
"S-Stop, please!" Atsushi roars for mercy when the unbearable action drew on, eyes closed as he was tickled to death. Tears were brewing in his eyes for a second time today, but for nowhere near the same reasons as earlier. He felt so happy that he didn't know what to do with himself, and one hard, final laugh rolls off his stomach when Akutagawa finally relents following the words, "I surrender!"
Ryuu was chuckling too, and he wasn't even the one being prodded. Nakajima felt overwhelmed with the heat in the apartment now, and at this point he couldn't wait to get out of this sweaty button-up and into something much less constricting. The man doesn't even know what he's supposed to be sleeping in tonight, but he's sure Akutagawa will take care of that when the time comes.
They're both panting for air now, and Akutagawa sits up while he broke off into an expected fit of coughs, Atsushi smiling tenderly as he raises his hand to rub the latter's chest, as if the massaging movement of his fingers could somehow reduce the pressure. While he had been coughing into his palm, the vacant had shakily rose to slip it's fingers between the one Atsushi soothed him with, pressing it impossibly closer to himself as he squeezes it firmly.
Once the moment had passed, the cough-attack's victim hoarse in the throat as he breathed in and out through his mouth, Nakajima slides down more so his head was resting against the armrest of the couch instead of his shoulders, gently guiding his partner into position so the latter was laying on top of him. He cradles the back of Akutagawa's head as the mafioso's face is buried into the crook of his neck, Atsushi hugging him close and drawing his fingers up and down his back.
They lay like that for a while, wordless but at ease. Akutagawa's breaths remain focused and unsteady, long inhales and shaky exhales, and Atsushi lolls his head to the right to watch the dog movie that happened to be playing on TV. In time, it evens out back to normal, but Nakajima keeps holding him close, because the weretiger's body is like a furnace that he feels was made for keeping the cold, sickly man warm.
With a sigh, Ryuunosuke sits back up, Atsushi biting back a grin at how messy his head of hair looked with how much he's been absentmindedly twirling it around his fingers for the past twenty minutes. His eyes looked so tired, mouth drooped into a frown, and it amazes Nakajima how he's never realized until now how kissable those lips are.
"Come on," Akutagawa grumbles groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he places a foot on the floor. "Let's get changed."
Nodding his head, Atsushi does as told and tears himself away from the couch, the leather warm from how long he been laying on it. The two venture into Akutagawa's bedroom, where Nakajima remembers the poor cat from earlier he disturbed, and once again the cat's face scrunches in protest to the oncoming light, except Ryuu isn't nearly as sympathetic as he had been earlier. The light stays on when the man ventures into a walk-in closet the younger hadn't noticed earlier, Atsushi, instead of continuing to follow, approaching the cat who was now sprawled on the bed and stretching it's limbs, green eye blinking awake.
"Hello, Asher," Atsushi cooes, crouching down and extending his bended pointer finger for the animal to get a smell of, seeming to receive his approval as Asher nuzzles his face into his hand, purring. "Aw... That's a good boy~!"
"He seems taken to you. You're lucky," Akutagawa casually comments as he re-emerges from the large closet, turning off it's own set of lights and closing the door behind him with two sets of pajamas in hand. "Asher would never come around anyone but me, not even Gin."
"He's very sweet. Do you know what happened to his eye?"
"A dog attacked him," he says, now staring particularly at the cat's left eye that had an ugly scar slicing through it, permanently kept shut. "I... -Rashomon, killed it, and otherwise he would have died, no doubt about it. He was anorexic, bleeding, and injured, soaking wet from a previous downpour... I didn't intend on taking in any animals, a dog was especially off the table, but in the moment, I had the desire to save the poor creature, and couldn't stand the thought of feeding him to the dangers of the streets again. I was a stray once too, after all, and like Dazai did for me, I wanted to save Asher..."
"I understand," Atsushi tells him, and he truly do. It was obvious how uneasy Akutagawa was in telling him he killed that dog to save Asher, an animal he has a phobia of, but he'll soon understand that Nakajima desires to know everything there is to learn about him, even the ugly truths he still feels ashamed of. What happened in the past has every right to stay there, and if there's anyone in this world who understands the desire to put all of that behind them, it's Shin Soukoku. "You did well. Asher seems very healthy and safe, but most of all content. Cats only expose their stomachs when they are truly comfortable around their owners, and..."
"Yep," Akutagawa smiles through Atsushi's giggle, noting the way Asher currently laid directly on his spine, feet in the air and paws bent in a bunny-like fashion as he flashed his fluffy stomach. "I'm sure he's going to love Kazue too."
"My god, can we talk about that boy? I can't get over how precious he is, it kills me!" Nakajima notes in pleasant shock as Ryuunosuke passes him over the pajamas he picked out for him, turning their backs to each other as they stripped out of their current clothes.
"Tell me about it. I never thought in a million years I would ever have a child, let alone one who is as kind and pure as ours is. He certainly doesn't get any of it from me, I can assure you."
"Oh, stop! You're acting like you didn't just explain to me all about how you saved a cat on the verge of death and brought him into your home!"
"..."
Atsushi turns around now with a smile on his lips, dressed in one of Akutagawa's black pullover sweaters and a gray pair of sweatpants, as he wraps his arms around his neck, pulling the latter closer while he caresses the side of his face. His thumb gently swipes his cheekbone as Ryuunosuke leans further into the touch, the older turning his head to press a kiss to the inside palm.
"Ryuu, you keep playing yourself out to be this villian, but that's not who you are. You were manipulated by influence and situation out of desperation, and it's because your heart is so big and vulnerable that Dazai was able to lead you astray down such a bloody path..."
"Dazai treated me that way to protect me," Akutagawa grumbles through gritted teeth, a part of him still feeling really defensive about the man despite the hell he put him through. "No one gets babied in the mafia, and while he treated you with kindness and preached to put your life on the line for others to prove your worth to the world, it was to have you prosper in the light with the ADA. He degraded and physically abused me so I too could prove my worth to the world, but it was so I could endure the darkness that is the Port Mafia, where kindness gets you killed and the only sentiment you preach is 'survival of the fittest'. You can't be a member of the Agency if you are considered bad, and you must vanquish the good in you to be a gangster, and it's for this reason you and I are so much alike and yet view life as such completely different concepts."
"We lived the same pasts, but had differing upbringings, which is exactly what I've been trying to convince you of. If our roles had been reversed, you would be the one right here pleading to me that I'm not the bad person I think I am, and in my eyes, you'd be the one with a heart of gold, capable of doing no wrong. I've killed somebody, Akutagawa! Even if I've killed one and you've killed hundreds, it still doesn't change the fact that we are both murderers!" Atsushi pleads for him to understand, hands cupping his face in place so he couldn't catch him turning away. "You and I both exist in such gray areas of the perfect picture you just painted, so if there's one message you and I should abide by to move on from the agony of our own self-doubts, it's to remember that good and bad qualities co-exist within us all, but it's the side of the balance we choose to lean more toward that determines the kind of person you are. It's impossible to be just one or the other because either can be reflected through our feelings and actions depending on the situation we're facing, but all we can do is try our hardest to be good people, not just for Kazue but to lighten the burden of our own guilts."
Ryuunosuke is silent for a moment, which is to be expected when there's so much to be taken in. But Atsushi doesn't want to push him to offer his insight on this topic any further, let alone set him back on what good progress he's made in trying to put back together the pieces of himself that may have never been whole to begin with.
So all the weretiger can do is slip their hands together and squeeze in reassurance, suggesting in sweet tone, "How about we table this conversation for another time and get ready for bed? It's our day off tomorrow, and with Kazue, I suspect it'll be very busy, not to mention the pancakes you promised him."
Akutagawa seems to like that idea very much, for he is quickly agreeing with the nod of his head, telling Atsushi he would be back in a few minutes before making his way to the bathroom. Neither of them really had an elaborate nightly regime for getting ready to go to bed except brushing their teeth, really, and while they probably could have been doing that side by side, he figured the man would appreciate the moment alone to gather his thoughts and compose himself.
Assuming they would be sharing the bed, Atsushi turns on the lamp and shuts off the ceiling light, just until Akutagawa gets back assuming the boy sleeps in total darkness like he does on most nights. He removes the many throw pillows from the bed until only two ordinary remain, pulling back the comforter and cotton bedsheets to crawl inside while he waited.
The weight of the blanket felt so heavy and snug compared to the cheap set he had at home, and the pillows were so thick and fluffy and not at all flat like he was used to. Atsushi could easily fall asleep like this in minutes, preferably deep enough that his slumber won't be disrupted by the nightmares that plague him every night.
He feels himself starting to drift off when Akutagawa returns to the room, and even though he made no effort to wake or disturb him, Atsushi still stirs at the sudden presence in the room, his socked feet padding across the carpet floor. The younger forces himself out of bed and and silently exits the bedroom, thinking to himself that he must of gotten up too fast by the wave of nausea and dizziness that suddenly had him feeling woozy.
Akutagawa had realized Atsushi was taking a while, but he honestly thought nothing of it.
Currently, the man was sat up in bed, his lower torso covered by the sheets while he passed the time reading before going to sleep, a nightly ritual he indulges in. Two cups of tea sat patiently on his nightstand, having turned on the kettle to boil before he had even returned to the room earlier, but not much remained from his own mug, because the man liked his piping hot so it felt more soothing on the lungs.
To prevent himself from completely ruining the mood earlier while they had been kissing, he made sure to hold his breath despite how badly his chest burned, but the consequences of his sore throat at the moment were most certainly worth their passionate exchange. God knows how long Akutagawa had yearned for it, and he couldn't have asked for it to of been better.
Ryuunosuke wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the clock, but it's been fifteen minutes since Atsushi went out, and now he was starting to get a little worried. It's not like he could have gotten a shower without him hearing the water running, and while the possibility of him having an upset stomach is still on the table, the warning bells still rang in his head despite. He had a really bad feeling.
Ryuu may love the quiet, but loving something doesn't necessarily mean trusting it. The atmosphere felt eerie, especially with the suspenseful ticking of his clock, and as thought after thought raced through his head, Akutagawa scoffs and finally gives in to his intuition, throwing his legs over the side of the bed with the goal in mind to check in on Atsushi when suddenly his cell phone starts buzzing against his wooden end table.
Blinking in surprise, the worried man prays to god this isn't a mission he's being summoned for when he quickly snatches it up, confusion dawning on him when he sees Dazai's name as the contact. He never phones him anymore unless it's to do with partnering up with Atsushi to handle some sort of conflict, so what could he possibly have to say at half past twelve in the night?
Without a second thought, he picks up the phone, the monotonal hello his mind automatically went to say falling short when he hears desperate wails and cries sounding through the background of the line, Chuuya's desperate cries and wails that is accompanied by the distant sound of Dazai's voice softly trying to calm him down. Akutagawa's heart was hammering in its cage, and when he says his mentor's name into the device, the man returns immediately.
"Listen, are you and Atsushi both all right?" the former executive asks, and if Akutagawa hadn't been concerned about Nakajima's well-being before, he sure as hell was now.
"Why, what's going on? What happened to Chuuya?!"
A shaky breath follows in reply, Osamu telling him drearily, "That's why I'm calling, I wanted to see if either of you were experiencing the same thing. It isn't anything related to Arahabaki because immediately when he became like this, I touched him with my bare ski-!" before he cuts himself off to console his lover once more, telling him to take deep breaths and that the pain is sure to subside very soon.
Akutagawa was itching to get to Atsushi now, foot impatiently tapping against the floor as he cuts in and asks, "What do you think this is then, if No Longer Human has no effect on it? It can't be an ability, so is it possible that it's some sort of virus?"
"My best guess is that it's a potential side-effect of the ability used on us earlier today. The chibi and I were lounging around in the living room sipping on some drinks, and when I happened to eye the clock striking midnight, he suddenly dropped and broke his glass before falling into a state like this. If this doesn't let up by morning, we're definitely going to have to go to Mori or that lady about this, because if I'm being honest with you, seeing Chuuya like this and being unable to do anything for him terrifies me..." Dazai admits somberly, and Ryuu is on his feet now, voice rushed as he tells him,
"Atsushi's been in the bathroom for a while now, I'll go and check on him immediately. I'll fill you in when I can, but for now I've got to go."
"Alright. Keep in touch."
Without any proper goodbyes exchanged, the boys hang up and go back to handling the conflict at hand, Akutagawa already calling out his partner's name before he had even reached him.
By the time the Atsushi had made it to the bathroom, softly closing the door behind him in hopes of not waking Kazue up who was only sleeping on the other side of that wall, the feeling in his stomach had only intensified then, the sensation seeming much less like the urge to vomit but an intense tightening of muscles, the pressure so unbearable that it felt like his insides were tearing themselves apart.
"Huh..." he murmurs allowed as his eyes blow wide with horror, weakly dropping to his hands and knees as he felt himself being consumed by a lifeform residing within his body, which couldn't even be considered an exaggeration at this point. Never had he experienced a pain so bad as this, the agony so overwhelming that he couldn't muster the urge to scream or cry in distress. What he could do was gag on the clear liquid that rose up his throat mixed with just a tiny fraction of blood, heaving over the bathroom tile for his body shook too violently for him to crawl as far as the toilet.
The strength to hold his body up gives out, Atsushi tipping over and landing on his side as he laid there biting down on his lip hard, trying to distract himself from the deconstruction of his intestines. Tears bubbled and burned in his eyes, hand holding on to his abomen for dear life as he felt himself becoming delirious.
As uncomfortable as this may sound, Nakajima could almost wish he was knocked out right now, because at least that would provide some relief.
He wasn't entirely sure how long he had been lying there for, but at one point he did wake up and managed the strength to crawl as far as the toilet where he coughed his stomach up empty, the pain having not lessened in the slightest despite no longer having a single spoonful of food left in his body. That would mean this wasn't anything to do with what he ate, but whatever else could it be?
Eventually he hears a voice worriedly calling his name from down the hall while he still weakly leaned over the toilet seat, followed by desperate and repetitive knocks sounding on the closed door. It wasn't locked, but as Atsushi pulled away and opened his mouth to let him know he was still in here, more substance had rose from his throat like bile and trailed down his lip, consistency like saliva.
Hearing the choking noises coming from inside, Akutagawa violently swings the door open despite whatever sight that could be waiting for him in the room, immediately falling to his hands and knees like Atsushi had earlier except willingly on his part, practically stumbling over himself to reach him as fast as humanly possible. Nakajima was sobbing hysterically at this point, and by god how many tears will this boy have to shed today? Cries of anguish, cries of happiness, cries of pain... This really has been a long day.
"R-Ryuu, it hurts so bad!" he wails, as if pleading to the man before him to take the pain away (if it were only possible). "I feel li-like I'm gonna die! I-In my stomach-!"
"Shhhh... you're going to be okay," Akutagawa attempts to console him, cold hands gently trailing underneath the sweater he borrowed from him to try and massage away the pain reeking havoc on his flat stomach, fingers easily able to feel the bumps and ridges of his scars as he attempted to soothe him. "No one is dying, this is only a symptom of the ability from earlier. Chuuya is home with Dazai going through the exact same thing as you are right now."
Once helping him brush his teeth at least a little bit, Atsushi leans into him, head resting against the side of Ryuunosuke's when he brought the boy into his lap, the weretiger's back against his torso while the arm that rubbed his abdomen held him close, the urge to breakdown and join him in the crying almost becoming unbearable with how much it pained Akutagawa to see him in such agony. He'd have to inform Dazai sometime soon, but with his phone left out in the other room, there was no fucking way anything was pulling him away from Nakajima right now. While it didn't erase the pain, he was helping to ease it ever so slightly with his gentle kneading, or it at least managed to quiet the panic down.
The younger's eyes fall to a close, the tears that stuck to his lashes trickling down as the commotion wore off, simply left with only the cramp-like waves and the healing touch that didn't slow down or tire even after they've been sitting here for thirty whole minutes at the bare minimum. He was likely too delirious to understand what he was really saying, but the words did fall from his lips in barely a whisper, Akutagawa close enough that he could hear everything he said regardless.
"You know, if this truly is an after-effect from the baby magic, it really does make sense."
"And why would you say that?" Ryuunosuke murmurs in his ear, shifting Atsushi's body in his lap ever so slightly to readjust him from sliding off his thighs, pulling him closer before returning to his task at hand.
"Well, think about it. When a baby is brought into the world, one of the parents, which in normal cases would be the mother, suffers an indescribable amount of pain to bring them here, while the other parent consoles and guides them through it until a beautiful, healthy child blesses their lives. To go through all of that is one major way that a mother proves to her son or daughter they love and would endure the worst kind of hell for them, and if not a single parent no matter who you are or what you're like cannot escape the brutal process of contraction when giving birth to a child, what makes us any different? Other than the fact that, you know, I lack a uterus."
"Then why..." Akutagawa whispers under his breath, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "Why did it have to be you when it could have been me carrying the pain?"
"Because it could only be one, and if I'm able to burden this toll in your place and mark Kazue's existance into the world the proper way, I couldn't be happier this happened to me..." Atsushi's lips quirk up weakly, and he genuinely means every word. He raises a shaky hand to brush a stray tear that had rolled down his soulmate's cheek with the pad of his thumb, squeezing Akutagawa's wrist as if to halt the trembling he felt wracking the man's body. The last thing Nakajima wanted was for him to add on more guilt to a conscience already drowning in it, especially when he strived to one day save the person who rescued him from himself and bring him back to the surface...
Tonight is only the first step to a lot of new firsts to come, if all that's happened today wasn't sneak peek enough. There will be a lot of laughs, smiles, and family time; birthdays, Christmasses, Halloweens, and even the more specific moments like losing first teeth, school concerts, teaching them how to swim.
Yet this wasn't only the beginning of a family, but the early dawn of a romance craved for so very long. Dates, anniversaries, fights and bickering over the stupidest of things like who left their dirty dishes in the sink. There will no doubt be more tears and heart-to-hearts shared along the way, because this wasn't just a journey of exploring the ins and outs of one another, but striving to make themselves a better version of who they are now, even if society accepts them as good enough already.
When Atsushi finally passes out, Akutagawa passes little Kazue in the hallway while carrying the weretiger back to their room, stopping in his tracks when he spots the little figure. He didn't appear teary-eyed from a bad dream, nor did he seem to be in distress of any kind, but by the pleading stare he gave his father as he still held on close to the tiger plushie much too big for someone so small, Ryuunosuke grants his wish and beckons him to follow along, the three climbing into bed together.
After returning to the bathroom for a moment to clean up the floor, Akutagawa places himself in the middle of his son and lover, stressing to Kazue in a kind enough manner not to touch Dad while he slept just for tonight, insuring him that he was all right but just feeling a little nauseated. Their son is obedient, probably because he didn't want to end up getting sent back to his own bed, and so nods his head and curls up against Ryuunosuke's back, arms thrown over his neck that wasn't exactly comfortable but not too overwhelming given how small his limbs are.
He presses a short kiss to the tips of his knuckles, telling him goodnight once more before delicately pulling Atsushi's back against his front, returning his hand to massaging his stomach despite not knowing if the pain had subsided yet or not. He manage to retrieve his phone from the table with his one free hand despite the struggle, and only texts a very brief message to Dazai about what happened, relieved to hear that Chuuya too had managed to fall asleep.
By the time morning came, Kazue's legs and arms had Akutagawa constricted all the while Asher slept curled up in the bend of the child's knees, and when Atsushi's eyes flutter open to find early daylight shining in his eyes, he's surprised to feel gentle movements still caressing the bare skin under his shirt, the motion of his hand significantly slower and weaker compared to earlier, but still hanging on as silently promised...
Life had never looked so bright.