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Cursed

Summary:

“Oh,” She paused then placed a hand over her mouth to hide her smile, “That’s- that’s some curse you got there.”
Keith sighed, “Yeah. Can you help me out?”
“Well, yes, we do have a witch that specializes in curses. Though I can’t say that he has done something like this before.”
“I’ll try anything at this point.” Keith dragged a hand down his face. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“I’m sure we can figure something out. Let me go get our curse expert. I’m Allura by the way, and I’ll have Lance out in a jiffy.” Allura disappeared through a door behind the counter.
While Keith waited a tingling sensation spread through his cheek. He rubbed at it hoping to dispel the unpleasant feeling. It only meant another one had appeared. To add to all the others covering half his face.
Keith had been cursed with drawings of tiny dicks appearing on his face. Like he was the first to fall asleep at a frat party and someone found a sharpie.
One by one they show up. A new one appearing every hour. He can’t cover them or try to mask them. They were visible through any makeup he tried.
Honestly it would be hilarious if it wasn’t happening to him.

Notes:

Finally had time to do another DrinkWriteDrawKlance event. I found a prompt that was "I’m not afraid of death. Pretty cool fellow. Surprisingly good kisser." and it just sounded like Lance to me. I just kinda let my brain relax and do whatever. There was absolutely no planning done here.

Thank you guys for all the comments you leave on my fics I love every single one of them. I'm just horrible at replying.

An update on Seven Nights and Seven Days will be out by the end of the month. It's already over 10,000 words and I have 2 parts left to add. I've got some extra time off for the holidays and I plan on being a hermit and finishing it. Stay safe out there!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Keith can’t tell you how he found himself in front of the town’s one and only witch shop.

‘Sit for a Spell’

What kind of name is that?

Well, he can. He’s been cursed but why he has been cursed he can’t tell you. Or by who, and really, he’s not that surprised. It was bound to happen sooner or later. People just don’t see him as the nicest person. Whatever.

The bell chimed as Keith pushed through the door.

“Good morning! Come sit for a spell!” a voice from beyond the books shelves greeted him.

Keith stood awkwardly by the counter until a woman with long white hair and a dark complexion appeared.

“Oh,” She paused then placed a hand over her mouth to hide her smile, “That’s- that’s some curse you got there.”

Keith sighed, “Yeah. Can you help me out?”

“Well, yes, we do have a witch that specializes in curses. Though I can’t say that he has done something like this before.”

“I’ll try anything at this point.” Keith dragged a hand down his face. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out. Let me go get our curse expert. I’m Allura by the way, and I’ll have Lance out in a jiffy.” Allura disappeared through a door behind the counter.

While Keith waited a tingling sensation spread through his cheek. He rubbed at it hoping to dispel the unpleasant feeling. It only meant another one had appeared. To add to all the others covering half his face.

Keith had been cursed with drawings of tiny dicks appearing on his face. Like he was the first to fall asleep at a frat party and someone found a sharpie.

One by one they show up. A new one appearing every hour. He can’t cover them or try to mask them. They were visible through any makeup he tried.

So currently his face was half covered in tiny dick of all shapes and sizes. Honestly it would be hilarious if it wasn’t happening to him.

“Oh man Allura wasn’t kidding. I’m Lance the resident curse breaker.” Lance had appeared from the door that Allura had disappeared through.

“I’m Keith, the cursed guy.” Keith awkwardly shrugged. “Can you help?”

Lance stepped around the counter and with total disregard for Keith’s personal space took his face in his hands and began to inspect the collection of tiny dicks running down the right side of Keith’s face.

“Let me guess, you’ve tried to cover them but they always seem to bleed through?”

“Yeah.”

“Man, who did you piss off? This is not an easy sort of thing to pull off.” Lance hummed and Keith tried not to focus on how embarrassing this situation was.

It was bad enough that he had dicks covering his half his face, but to top it off Lance was hot.

Tall, tan, blue eyes you could get lost in. Keith would totally try his shot if he wasn’t here to get rid of the dicks appearing on his face.

This was just his luck.

“Do you know who would be the creator of this glorious curse?” Lance was all smiles as he manhandled Keith’s face around.

“No, and it’s not glorious, it’s horrible.” Keith tried not to pout.

“Oh no, Sir, this is a work of art! I wish I had thought of this myself and I can think of a few people I’d like to use this on.” Lance finally let go of his cheeks, but not before squishing them to make Keith look like a fish.

“Are you going to help or not?” Keith glared.

“Sure, I’ll have you back to your gorgeous face in no time. Follow me.”

Keith followed Lance through the door behind the counter and into a small office littered with books, candles and other various things.

“Sit a spell.” Lance gestures to one of the chairs in the room while blinding Keith with one of his smiles. “Can you tell me when this all started?”

Keith thought back over the last couple of days. “They started appearing yesterday after lunch. I was out with a friend and they pointed out I had a tiny dick on my forehead. I tried to scrub it off and cover it but nothing works, and more just keep appearing.”

Lance hummed, “How often do they appear?”

“Every hour a new one shows up.” Keith watched Lance as he crossed the room to a bookcase and started to pull books down.

Lance stacked them on Keith’s lap as he went about gathering things Keith could only guess that Lance thought he would need.

“Can you feel it? When it a new one shows up?” Lance tossed a jar of worms into Keith’s lap making him cringe a bit.

“It tingles, almost itchy.”

“That has got to be irritating.” Lance was back in front of Keith sorting through the items in his lap. He just tossed aside anything that he decided wasn’t needed. Thankfully the jar of warms was tossed aside.

Keith was left with a knife, a book, and a jar of fireflies in his lap. He lifted the knife to inspect it. “Is this dangerous?”

“What?” Lanced asked looking puzzled.

“Breaking this curse?”

“Curse breaking in general can be dangerous but this should fine.” Lance smiled. “Besides I’m not afraid of Death.”

“You mean ‘To die’” Keith corrected.

“What?” Lance asked as he took the book from Keith’s hands and haphazardly flipped through the pages.

“You’re not afraid to die.” Keith tried again.

“No, I meant I’m not afraid of Death. Pretty cool guy. Surprisingly good kisser.” Lance continued to skim through the book.

“What?”

“What?” Lance finally looked up. “Look you have nothing to worry about, this is going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy.”

“You kissed Death?”

“Come on Keith that is hardly the thing to focus on right now. Let’s get this show going.” Lance snapped the book closed and took the knife out of Keith’s hand.

“Okay, so all I need is a drop of your blood.” Taking his finger Lance pricked it. He placed the drop in a small dish that Keith is not even sure where he got it from.

Lance set the dish aside and took the time to wrap a glittery rainbow band aide around Keith’s finger before continuing on with his task.

Keith watched as Lance bounced around the room again. He only had the jar of fireflies in his lap now. He held the jar letting it ground him in place. Watching them light up as they buzzed around inside. This situation was just too weird for him.

Lance didn’t say much else as he worked. He was so focused on his tasks that Keith wondered if he had forgotten he was even here.

He hadn’t even known an hour had passed until the tingling in his face started up again. He was inching at his cheek when Lance noticed.

“Is that a new one?” Lance was in front of him in a second. Rubbing his thumb over Keith’s new tiny dick that had appeared to join the others. “Oooo, I think I know who did this.”

“How can you tell?” Keith didn’t know much about magic but how can Lance tell just by touching his face.

“Everyone’s magic has its own feel to it. Like you can just feel who is standing next to you. It reflects their aura.” Lance was whispering now, “I’ve delt with this one before.”

“Are you sure?”

“Did you happen to meet a girl with blonde hair, by the name of Nyma?” Lance asked.

Keith thought back to a few nights ago when he was out with Shiro and Adam. “Maybe.”

“You remember who you didn’t vibe with?” Lance was still rubbing at the spot where the new tiny dick now graced his face. “Who have you pissed off recently?”

“It was a busy bar, I don’t remember. Especially women because I’m not into them. I don’t even give them a chance. I’m gay as hell.” Keith sighed frustrated was this all because of some petty feelings from being shot down.

He’s always been blunt and to the point with women as not to lead them on. They have no chance with him.

“Knowing her she took it as an insult you didn’t give her a chance.” Lance laughed, “If it makes you feel better, she tied me to a tree and stole my car.”

“I would’ve taken that over the tiny dicks.” Keith huffed.

“Can’t say I disagree with you there. It would be a travesty to mess with this perfection.” Lance let go of Keith’s face only to gesture to his own.

“That would be a shame.” The words were out of Keith’s mouth before he could stop them.

“Look at you, Mr. Smooth.” Lance’s smile widened even more. Keith did take note of the small flush that spread across Lance’s cheeks as he returned to what he was doing before. Keith watched him mixed something into a small jar that smelled like eucalyptus.

A calm settle over him. He was trusting Lance to fix this for him. That was not something Keith was known to do. Yet, within just over an hour Keith felt he could trust Lance.

“Okay, here we go.” Lance was in front of Keith again trading out the jar of fireflies for the mixture and what looked to be a small pendant with a black stone.

“Thanks to my friends here for getting you to relax.” Lance sat the fireflies carefully back on the shelf. “Your aura was a mess when you walked in.”

“Uh yeah.” Keith inspected the items in his hands, he had been a complete mess all day.

“I imagine a face full dicks would do that to you.” Lance laughed, “Well, at least the tiny ones would.”

Keith could feel the flush in his cheeks again.

“What do I do with this?” He held up the things in his hands.

Lance plucked the jar out of Keith’s hand, “Right, this cream is just like a face mask. Put it on after you wash your face and let it sit for thirty minutes. Then wipe it off. Do that twice a day for the next week. The tiny dicks will begin to fade over the week and you should be able to cover them with makeup after the first use.”

Giving the jar back he took the pendent from Keith’s other hand. “This is Black tourmaline, it’s for protection. It’s not necessarily needed to break your curse but I highly recommend you wear it for a while after. It should help protect you from any more vengeful behavior that might come around when the person who I assume was Nyma, cursed you sees that your face is not covered in tiny dicks.”

Lance paused, giving Keith a once over before continuing. “On second thought you should probably wear it all the time. Something tells me you are a magnet for vengeful behavior. Don’t look at me like that, that is exactly what I’m talking about.”

Keith tried to get rid of the glare on his face, “I can’t help it my face just looks that way.”

“Yeah, sorry I can’t help you with the resting bitch face, only the dick face you’ve got going on.” Lance gave him the pendant back and took Keith’s face in his hands again. “Now close your eyes and clear your mind. I’m going to break the connection between you and the curse.”

Keith did as he was told and cleared his mind. He focused on Lance’s steady breathing as his hands gripped Keith’s face again. He could hear Lance muttering under his breath, but nothing was clear enough for Keith to make out.

All too quick Lance was letting go of Keith’s face. “All done!”

“Let’s put this on now.” Lance reached around Keith to clasp the pendent around his neck. Standing back up and clapping his hands together, “That will be $75.”

Keith groaned while pulling out his wallet.

“Hey now it’s not so bad. My face creams are just as expensive and they don’t remove tiny dicks from my face.” Lance crossed his arms and cocked a hip to the side.

Keith pulled the cash from his wallet, “Do I have to tip for this sort of thing?”

Lance thought for a moment, “No, not normally, but I’ll take your number if you want to.”

Keith paused wallet and cash in hand and watched a light flush return to Lance’s cheeks.

“But you know nothing about me?”

Lance shrugged seeming shy for the first time, “That’s normally what dating is for, to get to know the person you like.”

“But for all you know I’m an asshole who got cursed to have tiny dicks on his face. Maybe I deserved it.” Keith cringed at himself. What was he doing?

“I can tell you’re not. Besides, those little guys seemed to like you and they’re an excellent judge of character.” Lance nodded to the fireflies glowing in their jar on the shelf.

Keith watched them buzz around for a second then pulled his business card out, writing his cell number on the back.

“Really!?” Lance took his payment and bounced on his feet as he looked over Keith’s card.

“How else am I supposed to find out if I’m a better kisser than Death?” Keith slipped the jar into the pocket of his leather jacket.

“Th-that can be arraigned,” Lance flushed even more then pointed a finger to Keith’s face, “But not for another week. I can’t take you seriously when you’re covered in tiny dicks.”

“Sure, thing.” Keith followed Lance as he led him out.

 

 

Turns out Keith is the better kisser, but Death is a better dancer, not that Lance minds, and fireflies are not just a good judge of character, but little match makers in their own right.

Notes:

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