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It all started when her brother Reggie came home with his classmate.
Julie was eleven and she was totally unimpressed with Luke Patterson and his goofy grin. Actually she was doing her homework and math was more important than the boy her brother called "best friend".
And then she was twelve.
And thirteen.
Fourteen, fifteen...
And then she suddenly was in a big trouble.
Because Luke Patterson, her brother's best friend and a real dork was the only fucking thing she could think about.
It all started when her brother Reggie came home with this classmate.
And it all continued with Julie's red face, nervous smiles and a big and heavy crush on Luke.
The same Luke she knew when she was eleven. That time he was just a boy and he was thirteen. And it was the period when his voice started to break, when he had a light acne on his chin and he looked angled and awkward. But he was already charming back then. Julie just refused to think about it because it was Luke and she was just a little girl and he was just a teenager and-
And then they grew up.
And Julie became a human disaster with a HUGE crush on Luke-goddamn-Patterson.
It was a sudden realization she had got during the dance class. At one moment she was dancing with her "always and forever school crush" Nick and he was really-really sweet and cute and all in one. And the second thing she remembered was a huge "BANG!" in her head and an imaginary neon inscription lighted in her mind:
"HEY GIRL NICK ISN'T LUKE AND YOU'RE HEAD OVER HEELS WITH PATTERSON, DEAL WITH IT".
And later when she was sitting in the music class with Flynn, she told her best friend the most simple and the most embarrassing thing ever:
"I guess I have a crush on Luke".
"Wow, you made four mistakes in Nick's name", answered Flynn with a grin. But Julie seemed to serious. "Oh fuck. This is for real".
"Oh fuck", agreed Julie. "This is".
She never thought that she would be that girl from movies who accidentally falling in love with her brother's best friend. Because everything was just fine until it wasn't. Usually she could sit during Sunset Curve rehearsals in studio, doing her homework or having fun with guys. She could call Reggie a "doofus" when he started to act like one, she could lightly tease Alex about his ("WILLIE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!") boyfriend and sometimes she could help Luke with his lyrics. And now...
Well, now Julie started to act like a big piece of nerves everytime when Luke was around.
She just couldn't stand it. She barely could talk when he was asking how was her day (omfg, was he really interested???) and she felt stupid, nervous and full of shyness she never felt before.
Being in love was a total disaster.
Being in love with Luke Patterson was a completely nightmare.
And the main problem was that Luke never really showed that he interested in Julie. Of course he was nice and was always ready to be a shoulder to cry on when Julie had problems. But he acted like another brother to her. And Julie was disappointed because she didn't want another brother. And she was smiling weakly to him and tried to act like always.
And it was so fucking annoying.
Flynn was only making it worse with her enthusiastic offers and inspirational speeches. Plan "Go and get him, girl!" was her last idea and Julie never really wanted to hear it. But they were sitting in her room, pretending that they studing for their biology test and she couldn't just ran out.
"Tell me how everything's going", Flynn raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing is going", Julie exhaled. "Yesterday he told Reggie that he likes the idea of having a little sister like me. Cute, huh?"
"Absolutely not cute", Flynn shaked her haid. "He doesn't see a woman in you, we need to fix this immediately".
"Well, it's too bad because even if I'm gonna make my way to the studio in bikini he probably will give me his sweatshirt to keep me warm", Julie rolled her eyes. "This is hopeless".
"Maybe but I feel the chemistry between you two", Flynn waved her hands. "When you're writing together especially. The way he looks at you..."
Julie moaned, closing her face with her palms.
"Luke just has chemistry with everyone he interacts. Actually, with his smile he can make a stone blushing".
"I hate it but you're right", Flynn pursed her lips. "And what are you gonna do with your little hopeless crush?"
"Nothing", Julie smiled sadly. "I'm gonna do nothing and praying for it to dissappear".
Julie wasn't really a party lover.
But Flynn was.
And when Nick invited them to his birthday, Flynn was literally bursting with her endless enthusiasm. Oh, she was so ready for the cool school parties.
Oh, Julie wasn't ready at all.
And she really was about to make an excuse and stay at home. But then Luke said something about boring teenage parties (he was a teenager too!) and Julie decided: yes, she would be on Nick's birthday.
And she would look gorgeous.
That's why she put on a crop top with a shorts, she made a light make up, she let her curls down and made her way to the studio like she was doing it every day. And maybe (just maybe) Flynn was right about something.
When she entered the garage, Luke almost swallowed his guitar pick.
"I'm going to Nick's birthday", she said to Reggie. "Pick me up in a couple of hours?"
"Sure", Reggie smiled. "No alcohol, no drugs and no boys".
"And no street hotdogs", Alex added.
"I'm almost sixteen and bad street hotdogs are totally your style", Julie sighed. "I'll call you".
And when she made her way out, Luke suddenly followed her. She stopped, waiting for what he wanted to say.
"Uh", Luke smiled nervously. "You look really good".
Julie tried her best not to say something dumb because her heart was about to jump out from her chest.
"But you can get cold in your clothes... I can give you my sweatshirt if you want?", Luke continued.
Julie exhaled.
It was absolutely hopeless.
She never ever was drunk.
And to be clear, she never thought that she could be that drunk. Only three bottles of beer and Julie really was about to blast the dance floor. Fortunately, she wasn't the only one. Everybody on this party were having fun, were drunk as fuck and she could swear that she saw Carrie Wilson dancing on the bar counter.
"Jules what the hell with your phone?", Flynn asked, catching her hand. "Your brother texting me non stop".
"Damn", Julie took out her phone and laughed. "It's dead. Ooups!"
She was about to return to the dance floor because she was having so much fun, she was young and free and happy and she didn't care about tomorrow. And for the first time in forever she wasn't thinking about Luke and her totally hopeless crush on him and she was ready to enjoy this moment and-
"Oh, you're completely wasted, aren't you?"
Julie turned around.
It was Luke and he was standing in front of her with his classic smile on his face.
"What are you doing here?", Julie asked.
"Reggie was too nervous about you and I volunteered to pick you up. Let's get home".
"Actually I'm having fun here", she answered making a few dance moves. "And I'm not wasted!"
She was annoyed because her crush obviously was acting like her elder brother right now. Again.
"Fine, but I need to drive you home because Reggie is going to come himself and it's not gonna be funny at all", Luke took her hand. "Please, Jules".
She couldn't stand his puppy eyes. She just couldn't.
"Great", Julie mumbled. "We need to find Flynn first".
"She said she'll stay here for tonight", they were already leaving the party and his hand was the only thing she could think right now. "Wanna take my sweatshirt? You look cold".
"Jeez, really?", she didn't know, was it alcohol or the whole situation but she started to get angry. "I'm not cold! I'm hot!"
"Can't agree more", Luke smiled.
"Okay, I wasn't mean it", Julie felt that she started to blush.
"And I was", they sat in the car and Luke turned to the girl. "You look hot tonight".
"Yeah, really Luke?", Julie snorted. "And this is obviously a reason why you offering me your sweatshirt all evening. Nice try".
"I was offering you my sweatshirt because I don't want you to catch a flu", he answered, driving carefully. "I care about you".
Julie was drunk. She totally was. Maybe not so much but it was the only excuse she made to herself when the words just flew out from her mouth.
"Maybe I don't want you to care about me. Maybe I want you to fucking kiss me already and stop pretending like you're my big goddamn brother".
He didn't answer. Actually he didn't even look at her. And it was painful.
"Never mind", she mumbled, turning her face to the window. "I'm wasted".
She wasn't wasted at all.
She was annoyed and sad and angry.
And it was hopeless after all.
She knew it long before.
Of course she wasn't avoiding Luke.
That's what she was telling everybody.
Reggie, Alex, Flynn, even her dad and Carlos. But only Julie herself knew the truth.
She was avoiding Luke. Because she was dumb enough to formally tell him that she was in love with him. And he formally refused her. And their friendship formally was ruined because Julie's stupid heart decided that it was a good idea to choose Luke Patterson and had a crush on him.
And besides her broken heart there was a huge problem called "I promised we'll finish this song together".
The song started as experiment when Luke and Julie realized that together their writing skills were raising up. But the time they started "The Edge Of Great" Julie was fine with her pretending game. She could stand his cute dimples when Luke was smiling, she could stop herself from touching his hand when he was spinning the pen, she could stand it all. It was a piece of cake back then.
And now she was about to puke.
And not formally at all.
Because they were alone in the studio, and Luke was sitting on the couch in his classic sleeveless shirt and the rings on his fingers and he was just... Impossible. Julie exhaled. How could she write something when she barely could breathe? The question of the century.
"You're gonna stay there all day?", Luke asked with the smile on his lips. "Come, sit. I guess, I found a perfect bridge".
And I guess I found a perfect way to die if you're going to smile like this the whole time, Julie thought but nodded and sat, looking in his notebook.
"What doesn't kills you, makes you feel alive", she sang quietly. "This is beautiful".
"Just like you", Luke smiled again, sending the shiver down her spine. "Jules I'm-"
"If you're going to say that you're sorry, just don't", Julie interrupted. "Can we just forget that night? Please".
"Okay, this will be harder than I expected", Luke catched her small palm in his and squeezed it lightly. "Why did you say that I'm acting like your big brother?"
"Because you're acting like one", Julie bited her cheek from inside. "And you told Reggie that you like the idea of having a little sister. That's why".
"I like the idea, Jules", Luke shaked his head like he didn't understand. "But it wasn't about you. Actually I never really wanted you to be my sister. It would be weird as fuck, you know? Because being hopelessly in love with your sister is a an unhealthy disaster".
"Wait, what?"
Julie felt like there was a "bang!" in her head. A massive "bang!" with the fireworks, orchestra and Luke Patterson in the center of it all.
"What?", he grinned teasingly. "You didn't know that I'm in love with you? C'mon I was obvious".
She kept silent.
"No-no-no", Luke stopped smiling and his eyes went wide. "I was pretty obvious, wasn't I? Tell me that you knew the way I felt about you and that's why you told me to kiss you that night. Jules?.."
"How was I supposed to know?", Julie wasn't an aggressive person but she really wanted to bite him. "You were acting like I'm just your best friend's sister! And nothing more. What the hell, Luke? I'm head over heels with you for a half and a year now! And now you're telling me that I was supposed to know that you're in love with me? That's ridiculous!"
"You're head over heels with me?", he repeated. "Wait. For how long?"
"You're impossible!", she groaned. "It's too much for today. I'm going home".
She stood up, but he gave her no chance to make a step, catching her arm gently. His fingertips touched her wrist and she frozened. Her heart fastened and she felt like the world is spinning when Luke came closer.
"I swallowed a guitar pick once when you were singing", he said quietly. "And I remember your dress for the Halloween party last year. You walked in the room with those butterflyes in your hair and in that purple dress with glitters. And I wanted to tell you how beautiful you are, but-"
"-but you told that Halloween parties are boring".
"I was dumbass. Never gonna make the same mistake again", Luke smiled. "Jules I-"
"Oh, for fucks sake", she mumbled.
And then she put her arms on his shoulders, stepped up on her tiptoes and kissed him. Just the way she was dreaming. Undeniable, fiercely and shameless. With fingers in his soft hair, with her breathless excitement when he pressed her closer to his body, with every touch she imagined for a while now.
Her crush on Luke Patterson made her feel hopeless.
Luke Patterson himself made her feel like a she was drowning in her own feelings while he was putting light and soft kisses down her jawline.
"I guess now you'll never complain about taking my sweatshirt", he said, pressing his lips on hers for another time. "And wearing it. Definitely wearing it".
"Oh?", Julie raised an eyebrow still smiling wildly. "You have a thing for girls wearing your clothes?"
"No, I have a thing for Julie Molina wearing my clothes", he answered.
And then they were kissing again. And again. And till Reggie came in with the "what's the fuck, guys!".
Maybe, Julie's crush on her brother's best friend wasn't completely hopeless.
Maybe it's wasn't hopeless at all.