Work Text:
1
Shane felt that something was odd when he found Old Spice in his bathroom. He stared at it for at least a minute trying to understand how on earth it ended up in his apartment. Shane never uses things with a boat on the logo or perfumed deodorants in general, and there was a possibility that he would have never learned of their existence if there weren’t a shit ton of ads. Experiencing an odd curiosity, Shane took the bottle and opened it. To his horror, the deodorant turned out to be a spray. The smell didn’t help the matter – absolutely synthetic and blatantly tasteless. However, something in it felt too familiar for Shane to close the bottle and throw it away.
“Hmmm... Shane, are you okay? I am a little bit worried about the fact that you’re standing in the bathroom, smelling my deodorant.”
Shane almost kicked himself. Of course, this was Ryan's property. Who else could have used such a thing and brought it to Shane's apartment? Lord, why weren't manners sexually transmitted? So many things would be easier and more enjoyable if it were so! In particular, Shane would never have had the problem of getting rid of this absurdly useless object in his hands. But the world wasn’t perfect. So, besides the pleasure of having sex with Ryan, Shane got nothing from it. Although he must admit that it was worth it. After all, Ryan turned out to be very good and tireless in providing Shane with said pleasure.
“First of all, don't you know that spray is the most ineffective form of deodorant? Stick is the best, but even a roll-on deodorant, despite its higher alcohol content, is more effective. Although in your case, anything would be better than using this one. Secondly, perfumed deodorants are only used by acne-ridden teenagers who lack the money and knowledge for anything else, by office plankton living according to the precepts of advertising, and others that have neither taste nor, apparently, a nose. These so-called deodorants only disguise a person's scent. It works if they at least have bactericidal properties, which is, presumably, the reason they are bought. And there is no antiperspirant effect. It's time for you to devote time to hygiene, not just brushing your teeth and showering. Specifically, you should buy yourself a normal, odorless deodorant with real antiperspirant effect from some reliable cosmetic line like Clinique or Biotherm. And finally, if, after this unjustifiably long and detailed rebuke, I see it again in my or even your bathroom, I will feed you to the next demon we encounter.”
After finishing his speech, Shane, in front of a startled and speechless Ryan, threw the bottle into the bin and left the bathroom. Ryan soon joined him, and Shane, too distracted by making him moan, forgot to think about why the hell the deodorant was in his bathroom in the first place, along with Ryan's personal, not spare, toothbrush; his own, not a guest's, bath towel and a bunch of other unnecessary, not-Shane’s items.
2
The next time was not long after. Later that week, on Friday, they went to a party. The evening turned out to be unexpectedly pleasant. Great music, tasty food, sweet drinks, and good company relaxed Shane after a tiring week of work. Half an hour later he was dancing with a gorgeous blonde. She was an acquaintance of Sara, but not a friend, so she was quite suitable for a one-night stand. At any other time, Shane would not have passed up such an opportunity, especially given that the blonde herself seemed to agree, judging by the way she was pressing against him. But Ryan looked especially good today and he was heading towards the toilets.
Shane apologized to his dance partner and slipped out of the room after Ryan. When he walked into the restroom, Ryan was standing by the sink and washing his hands. Shane scanned the room for other people, then walked over to his co-host and dragged him into one of the stalls. There he pinned him against the door and caught his lips in an eager kiss. Ryan responded with no less greed, but much angrier and more aggressive than usual. Shane was a little surprised by this but didn’t have the desire to rebel or protest, especially when Ryan pushed him down, onto the toilet and kneeled in front of him.
“I thought you’re having a good time with that blonde,” Ryan grinned, looking up at him with a malicious glance.
“I think your mouth should be busy with something else right now,” Shane retorted.
He wanted to add something else, but then Ryan swallowed the head of his cock, and Shane forgot everything that was going to fly out of his mouth. Then Ryan started sucking, and Shane forgot everything else, including his name and the surprised thoughts caused by Ryan’s remark. Indeed, Shane had been having a pretty good time with the blonde and was a little surprised himself that he preferred Ryan. And in general, it had been a long time since he brought someone else to his apartment. To be precise, he hadn't done that since he brought Ryan there for the first time, after a similar evening when Ryan drank too much, and Shane volunteered to take him home. How it ended with brain-blowing sex on the couch, Shane could remember only vaguely.
After all, he had been drunk too, and the only memory of the origins of that night was the warmth of a trembling body and demanding whispers near his ear. But the subsequent events in the apartment were imprinted in his brain with every delightful detail. In general, Ryan turned out to be an unexpectedly skillful lover. It may be that they just clicked with each other, even though both of them usually preferred women. Anyway, since that night Shane has had sex, many, varied, at times unexpected, but invariably amazing sex, only with Ryan, and perhaps the realization of it would have panicked him, if at the moment Ryan was not trying to, and quite successfully, suck his brain out through his cock.
3
A week later they flew to Kansas City to film the next supernatural episode at the Epperson House. Ryan was beyond himself with excitement. He had wanted to visit that place for a while, but the house was part of the University of Missouri–Kansas City, and it was difficult to arrange proper investigation. But they finally managed it, and Ryan nearly vibrated with excitement. Shane wasn't impressed. The place was old, dusty, and was located in a rather heavily populated area. Of course, Ryan heard some weird, but totally explainable noises and talked with the spirit box, but Shane didn't get why he became so shaky at the end of filming.
The next day they had a late flight and decided to have lunch in a restaurant recommended by TJ, who had been in Kansas City before. Shane was in the middle of a story when the waiter came. Everyone started to order and Shane continued the story. When Shane finished, he turned to where the waiter was supposed to be but found no one there. Ryan explained that he had already ordered for both of them. Shane decided it would be silly to bicker in front of the team. Although he was still a little worried about Ryan’s choice. However, his fears turned out to be unfounded. The waiter brought him a meal he would have ordered himself. The lunch turned out to be a blast. However, after they left the restaurant and got into the car, Shane turned to Ryan and asked:
“And what was that? Why did you order for me?”
“What's the big deal? You were too caught up in the conversation. You always order the same in new places, anyway, and I thought it would be stupid to interrupt you for the sake of ordering the obvious.”
“Obvious?”
“Come on, Shane, you always order chicken soup at new places, because you think it is the safest dish, and some vegetable salad. Also, you ask to remove peas from it because you say you're allergic to them. By the way, I don’t think it’s true ‘cause you've eaten peanuts, soya, and other legumes in front of me and didn’t suffer a bit. But I still asked to remove them, you giant baby. You usually order some vegetable side dish too and sauce in a separate bowl, because you think that otherwise it is added too much. And by the way, I don’t understand your indignation, since you do this to me constantly. And I don’t remember complaining.”
“To be fair your standard order is nothing to fuss about, Ryan. Big fries, cheeseburger, and a diet cola,” Shane teased Ryan, amused and a little flattered by his answer. “At the same time, my totally real pea allergy is a great concern for me.”
4
The next oddity that Shane noticed didn’t count as such. At some point, he just realized that he and Ryan spent too much time together. And again, this shouldn't seem weird since they had a show and a company together. Naturally, given the amount of time they spent side by side, it would be odd not to become friends, especially considering the commonality of interests and mutual sympathy. Although to be completely honest, you could hardly find friendly colleagues who would be together for almost twenty-four hours a day. Even if they were also sleeping with each other, as Ryan and Shane did with great pleasure and dedication.
Actually, the word "oddity" was justified, because if the working hours and the period of sleep were removed from the account, then there was still a colossal amount of time they spent together. And they spent hardly a third of it on sex. In fact, it was amazing how they didn't get tired of each other. Working side by side, fucking, and being friends with the same person should have been intolerable in theory, but, oddly enough, Shane and Ryan didn’t feel the slightest discomfort. Shane has never had a friend who could spend hours discussing his favorite movies and exchanging quotes from them with him. And although they sometimes disagreed, for the most part, their tastes coincided. Therefore, they had acquired a tradition of Saturday marathons, when they chose some movies or TV shows and watched them in Shane's living room.
During one of these marathons, Shane realized that he and Ryan spent too much time together. They had watched Firefly all day, and Shane couldn't help the happy expression on his face. This series had always been one of his favorites. Somehow his thoughts flew to Ryan, who was lying next to him. His t-shirt had ridden up, and Shane could see a strip of skin peeking out from under it. By the way, that shirt belonged to Shane, and he wondered why Ryan was wearing it if he had his own. That made him think about the last time Ryan was at his own apartment, which in turn made him wonder about the odd amount of time they spent with each other. However, Shane, like several times before, was easily distracted by other more pressing issues like the, still tantalizingly, exposed skin Shane wanted to taste.
5
It was a fucking miracle that Shane was able to hide the boner he was sporting since the moment he saw Ryan. It was downright embarrassing how he continued to be flustered and amazed by the most trivial things like a white button-down shirt or leather jacket or sports shorts if the person who wore them was Ryan. For God’s sake, he knew Ryan for years now and had been his friend almost since day 1. And he wasn’t blind, thank you very much. Of course, he knew that Ryan was an insufferably attractive human being. The point was that he should have been used to it at that point in his life, especially considering that he had been sleeping with Ryan for nearly four months. But no! Every time he was gaping and making a fool of himself in front of the cameras for all the world to see. And if by some miracle cameras weren't rolling, he sure as hell was destined to be in the presence of some not-oblivious friend who would tease him mercilessly.
For example, Shane was forced to sit and silently take all shit thrown by Sara, because of course she saw his face when Ryan came to their night-out in the tightest shirt possible. Sara was nothing if not a teasing imp and she never missed a chance to poke fun at Shane for his crush on Ryan. Worst of all, he wasn't able to stand and leave her thanks to the aforementioned boner. Shane's life was Hell. Sometimes he wondered what sins he had committed in his previous life to deserve this. Maybe he had kicked puppies and eaten babies. How else could he explain the existence of such a menace like Sara in his life? At least Ryan was distracted by some game discussion with Zack and couldn’t play witness for Sara’s exercises of wit.
“You know it’s actually awfully sweet how you still act around him. You would expect that after you finally crossed that bridge you would be less awkward.”
“Shut up, Sara. I don’t know what you are talking about. I am not awkward and there weren’t any bridges.”
“And we totally can’t see Ryan’s nipples through his incredibly tight and thin shirt. What else? I'm straight and you hate popcorn,” Sara deadpanned. “Shane, you can quit pretending that you and Ryan...”
“We are flying to Orlando next month,” Shane interrupted, glaring at her and then turning to the direction of the approaching company.
In the end, the evening turned out to be great. They talked, laughed, played some dumb bar game, drank and Shane soon forgot about Sara’s weird remarks.
+1
The next evening, they had dinner at Shane’s apartment. Shane cooked spaghetti and Ryan made the salad. They ate in a cozy and warm atmosphere, chatting about the next location, Sara's new girlfriend, traffic jams, and a bunch of other trivial things. Shane casually revealed that his parents would be in town the following week and had asked if Ryan wanted to have dinner with them. Realizing what he just did, Shane recalled all the suspicious things he had discovered lately, turned to Ryan, and said:
“...Personal things in the apartment, sex only with each other, knowledge of habits, a lot of time spent together, Sara's weird behavior... And now also meeting with my relatives. Ryan, do you want to tell me something?”
“What are you talking about?” Ryan looked at him curiously.
“When were you going to tell me that we are dating?!”
A surprised Ryan nearly choked and exclaimed “We’re dating?”
Well at least in their relationship Shane wasn’t the only or even the main idiot.